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Maybe, under the most gruesome torture, Sasuke would admit that what he is feeling now is jealousy. He has seen his entire family dead, slain by his brother. He has spent a third of his life drowning in vengeance and battling sorrow. He became a master at denying his desires in favor of what he needed to grow stronger. Yet, the inner acknowledgment of the jealousy furiously burning inside him leaves him paralyzed.
It’s not like he has never felt jealousy before, he did, when he was young and his father didn’t give him even a fraction of the attention he gave Itachi. Or when Itachi always seemed to prefer Shisui’s company. It’s the sheer magnitude of it that truly shocks him.
He accompanied her to this party because she insisted it would be beneficial for him. To most people, he is an enigma. The boy who left and became a traitor. The international threat who became a war hero. The criminal who embarked on a journey of redemption.
No one is quite sure what to truly think of him, his character unreadable, his temper volatile, his love unshakeable. A walking contradiction, loved and feared with the same passion. Sakura reasoned that while people may not know what to feel about him, they did about his companions. Let them see that, despite everything, he is always welcomed among them, either because Naruto, Kakashi, or she wants him there, or because the rest know that, for better or worse, he played a part in why they are still alive.
If Sasuke is being honest with himself, he couldn’t care less about what most people in Konoha think. But he does care about Sakura. And if doing something like this brings her some peace, he’ll do it a million times if needed.
Supposedly, he’s talking to Kiba, Chouji, and Shikamaru. Which means that, from time to time, he makes a non-committal sound while Kiba and Chouji keep talking. Shikamaru fakes boredom as he analyzes everyone in the room, the skills they brag about and how their personalities fit missions across different countries. The duties of the Hokage’s advisor are something he can’t leave at the office.
This allows Sasuke to follow Sakura’s figure as she moves through the crowd, leading him to his current realization. She talks animatedly with Lee, who leans into her space. While he understands the pull Sakura Haruno has on everyone, it doesn’t stop him from wanting to cross the room just to create some space between them.
And by 'create some space,' Sasuke really means violently shoving him away from her. But he refrains from acting on his dark thoughts. Lee hasn’t done anything outrageous enough to warrant such a response from him. No, all he has done is look at her with such open admiration that it makes his blood boil.
It’s not that he doesn’t think Sakura deserves to be admired, she does, and more than anyone. But he is incapable of allowing the world to see it the way Lee does.
The more Sasuke watches her, the more he dwells on the situation, the more reasons he finds to feed the monster stirring in his chest.
The ease with which Ino holds her, kisses her cheek before leaving. The way Naruto makes her laugh until her face turns pink. How Kakashi ruffles her hair, despite having been told not to do it, yet she never moves to stop him. Finally, the proud glint that fills Tsunade’s gaze and laces her words. A painful reminder that words never come to his mouth the same way.
Sasuke can only clench his fist as envy burns in his chest. Maybe this is the price for every tear Sakura has shed because of him. Now, he is condemned to watch as jealousy consumes every inch of him
By the end of the night, he is exhausted, his head aching, a violent fire raging inside him, one he doesn’t know how to extinguish. But when Sakura returns to his side, her eyes sparkling as if Sasuke is always her best view, the monster within him exhales,basking in her undivided attention.
Maybe Sasuke can’t do the same things Lee, Ino, Naruto, Kakashi, or Tsunade do. But he vows to himself to protect that unique spark in her eyes, the one that exists only because of him.