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There’s blood on her hands and her heart is beating far too fast in her chest when Betty realises she’s scared of her ex-husband.
It’s a strange thought, one that hums and dances and twists in the back of her mind. She doesn’t like it doesn’t like it doesn’t like it - it’s not unfamiliar, but she’d almost forgotten.
Almost.
The reasons why they got divorced are distant. Betty was scared then, but that’s not… she doesn’t care so much about that anymore - she’s not the same person as she was back then. Things are different.
She thought Evi was different too.
And… maybe he has changed.
you’re making me unhappy, she’d told her.
that’s the point, Evi had replied.
And that one had stung, more the conversation yesterday where she realised that Evi hadn’t moved on from the world they’d all left behind, that they viewed her as the same person she was back then, that they still cared so much and were so angry about what happened - she wants them, of course she does, she doesn’t think she could ever stop loving them, but… who do they care about, really? Her? Or the person who died in a flower grove in her brother’s arms.
She’s not sure they care about her when they tell her so easily they want to hurt her.
And then a few hours later, he’d shown up at her home and told her “I have a warden egg in my hotbar”. Betty hadn’t hesitated before driving a sword between their ribs, and now there is blood on her hands, slowly drying.
It’s the first time she’s killed someone who hasn’t first asked for it. Or the first time it’s been her hands holding the blade.
She can almost understand how people enjoy this. There’s a sick sense of satisfaction about it - this is her home, she will defend this place -
The rest of her is lost, drowning - she is afraid afraid afraid afraid afraid and the thought is hard to bear because things should be different now but -
She’s scared, because she wants to move on, but Evi won’t. Because Evi refuses to change. Because Evi wants to hurt her.
And that’s… nothing new. She never used to mind it when Evi wanted to kill her - it was scary, but scary was fun, under the right circumstances. With the right people, those she trusted not to hurt her in a way she couldn’t recover from. There’s a very short list of people who meet that criteria.
Evi used to be on it. And she’d promised herself she’d moved on and she had but all this has just awoken that part of her that’s still broken and bleeding and -
Maybe if they’d moved on too, things would have been easier.
Betty’s standing atop a lavacast when she realises that she’s still looking at the same Evi she left behind in another world. They’d wanted to talk - Evi said they hate her, Betty didn’t understand, had walked all the way out to the other side of the world, balancing on one block wide bridges, only one misplaced step above the void, climbed the giant cobblestone staircase to get to this platform Evi has built, two chairs, a campfire between them.
“I kinda hate you because you got to be happy and I didn’t and now I’m kinda like - alone forever,” Evi is saying, and - she’s speaking of a past that did happen and it mattered but it’s over and Betty didn’t realise she cared at all -
She forces a laugh. “I was not happy, I can promise you that.” The first person feels weird - I, me - it’s not her, the person she’s thinking of. Or it is, but -
It’s weird. That person was her, and now she isn’t, and -
It’s true, anyway. She wasn’t happy, at the end of the world, not really. It was… the closest she could have gotten to happiness. The best ending she could have been given - or, well -
She doesn’t want to think about it, really.
She tries to focus on Evi instead. “You weren’t - you’re not alone, though? You had people other than me -”
Evi scoffs, looks away. “Yeah, sure.”
They don’t really get anywhere - the conversation goes round in circles, twists back on itself, an ouroboros forever devouring itself.
“I - want you, kinda,” Evi says, kicking at the ground. “But I also wanna kill you over and over and trap your spawn point and - time isn’t really helping if anything I’m getting more murderous.”
Maybe it says something about Betty that that comment makes her laugh - maybe she should be more scared. But instead she just shrugs and says he can, if he wants, and Evi just makes a frustrated noise, turns away, and when he turns back to her there’s a crossbow in his hands and it’s pointed at her face.
“We should get married!” he says brightly.
Betty puts her head in her hands. “No.”
Betty wonders if this is what Sisyphus feels like, an impossible task, muscles aching from the weight of it. Again and again and again -
“I feel like everything that happened didn’t even matter and I devoted so much of myself to you once I left I felt like I didn’t have anyone who would ever care about how I felt again -” Evi says in a rush, at one point. “And then you had so many people to go to while I spent the rest of the season alone.”
It’s - true, to an extent. Betty had… friends. Friends, partners, people who looked out for her… but…
She’s never said this out-loud before. Season’s over, what was the point?
“Sin asking me to deathban him was my worst nightmare come true,” she says quietly, looking away from the crossbow bolt, out at the sunset. “I - I spent so long terrified he was going to leave me. And then he did. At the end of the world, sure, but… I couldn’t even follow her at first, I had goodbyes to say - and it was fun! I’m glad I stayed I’m glad but - it wasn’t - and even before that I didn’t talk to people -”
She doesn’t think anyone knows how much she hated herself by the end, really. There’s a reason she doesn’t want to think so much about that version of herself.
Evi grimaces. She doesn’t try to argue, but changes the subject.
They end up going in circles again.
It makes Betty laugh when she realises that Evi still holds a grudge over the secrets Betty kept last season for Void.
She shouldn’t laugh. That relationship was… bad. Not just for her and him, but -
“It was really scary when you keep vaguely mentioning things then won’t tell me anything -” Evi says, and Betty flinches.
It wasn’t fair on Evi, watching her struggle from the sidelines.
But now, in a new world, it’s so strange to think of, when thinking about green eyes and black wings makes her smile fondly, makes her giggle thinking of pranks and plans and -
It’s just so different.
“Do you want me to - explain, then?” Betty says. “Like - the whole story of… that. Or as much as I can remember, it’s kinda late.”
“Okay…”
So she does, they get off-topic more than once, but she finishes the story and when she does Evi is shaking their head rapidly.
“I - I get it, you -” They laugh. “Should have left him! All I’m saying!”
Betty grins. “So… did that help?”
“Yeah! Of course it -” Evi grabs her by the shoulders, presses his forehead against hers briefly. “You’re so stupid, I love you.”
“Oh - uh. Right. That - it really helped?”
“Yes I really don’t wanna kill you I don’t wanna kill you anymore -”
“Oh!” Betty laughs. “That - that simple?”
Of course, it never could be that simple.
The next morning, Evi tells her that actually this won’t work out we need to break up and never talk to each other again and Betty is left reeling and when she gets back to her island they have a guardian spawner next to their farms then while she’s trying her best to deal with the fish infestation Evi tells her that they want her to be unhappy - really, with that much emotional whiplash, no one should really be surprised by her killing him.
The fact it was planned should probably cause her more guilt. When Evi had shown up at their island while Void was sorting through Sin and Betty’s chests, she’d messaged Void a warning - I’m probably going to try kill Evi at some point.
He probably thinks it’s because of the guardians. She doesn’t care enough to say otherwise.
And then Evi had threatened them with a warden spawn egg and that had been enough for the anger and hurt and fear to drive her to push a sword through their chest.
So now she’s here, standing on her island, her home, and even though it’s her hands holding the sword she’s so scared.
Betty breathes, puts the sword down. Sin, to her right, grins - she looks proud. Void doesn’t seem bothered by the murder that happened only blocks away, not even pausing in his scrutiny of the mess that is the storage on sinbetty island.
Maybe Betty shouldn’t be bothered, either.
Evi doesn’t want her anymore. Betty doesn’t want them, either. She’s always been good at lying to herself.
This was just retaliation. Death’s nothing new to either of them.
This sort of fear is new, though.
Betty fixes a smile on her face and turns to talk to her soulmate.
The next time she and Evi speak, Betty is sorting through the collection system of Void’s mob farm. It’s a mess - half this stuff needs to be dropped in the void or transferred up to the chests in his island - she’s got an armful of arrows as she ascends the water stream to the surface, and she studiously doesn’t look at Evi, leant against a wall in the corner of the room as she speaks.
“You keep saying you want to - stop - whatever we are to each other, then talking to me like nothing’s wrong,” Betty says.
Evi hums. “I just like talking to people.”
“So do I but -” she laughs, bitter. “Sometimes it feels like you’re talking to a past version of me. Who doesn’t exist anymore. And like - you - you threatened Sin, threatened me, said you want me to be unhappy - that hurt, Evi.”
Evi rolls her eyes. “Okay so this relationship is unsalvageable I’m not getting better I meant everything I said to you -”
Betty’s not going to start crying, not here, not now. “Then stop acting like it is and leave me be,” she says. “I changed I moved on - I don’t want to hold on to negative things but I can’t do that when you -” She cuts herself off by slamming the chest lid shut and stands there a moment, forcing herself not to look at him.
“I just like hanging out with you, you’re nice company,” Evi says. “But I guess if I’m hurting you there’s no point in that.”
Betty doesn’t answer, just jumps back down to the mob farm again, messages Void a question about what he wants kept and what he wants left. When she gets back to the storage area, Evi’s still there.
“I like hanging out with you too,” she says quietly. “But I don’t want to keep being hurt like this. I’ve offered to explain who I am, why I am - I don’t see what else I can do.”
“There is nothing you can do. I’m just like this.”
“You can change. I did.”
“I don’t want to change.”
“Why not?”
“Well I don’t know why I’d want to change - yeah I’m weird and a bit sad like this but it’s comforting in its own way.”
Betty bites her lip. “Yeah - I mean. I like you the way you are. But - I - I don’t know. Maybe I wanted more - care. Or something.”
“I thought I was pretty good at caring,” Evi says quietly, and that - gods -
“You were, you were,” Betty says, and prays Evi doesn’t notice the shake in her voice. “And I loved you for it. But this - right now this isn’t care.”
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” Evi says, instead of a response.
Betty closes her eyes. “It’s a new world, Evi. You can be whoever you want to be.”
Evi laughs bitterly. “Lowkey - the things I’ve been doing lately, stuff only Cog and Mari know really - I don’t know if you’d ever look at me the same.”
“Oh?”
Evi won’t tell her much - that knowledge requires a price Betty isn’t willing to pay, but what little they say makes her worry. The next day they end up talking about it again, and -
“I don’t hate you,” Betty says. “I’m just scared of you. I want you to be happy but I don’t want you to hurt other people and I’m scared. Both for others and for myself. You scare me.”
Evi seems - strangely happy about that. “I scare you? That’s kinda beautiful in a way… I guess I don’t want to hurt you but I like you being afraid. That’s how you should react to everything I plan, really.”
Weirdly enough… that’s not a frightening thing to hear. But still - Betty tries to untangle her confusing thoughts and say them out loud. “I don’t - mind that, I think. I like being afraid, sometimes. But - there are people I can trust not to go too far. I can’t trust you like that anymore.”
Evi hums, taps out a rhythm on the platform. “I guess - if I hurt you that’s going too far? I’d prefer just scaring you? It shouldn’t scare you too much though - like it won’t like, harm you. Kinda. Maybe a little.”
“Huh,” Betty says. “I don’t mind that, actually. I feel better about you in general, hearing that.”
Except… there’s still things they need to talk about, so the next day they find themselves sitting in a garden in the End - Emma is watching them from a small distance away because everyone on this server is nosy as hell (the thought is fond, Betty doesn’t mind too much) - and they might have God watching them from afar so it’s not the greatest situation but -
“So. You hate me - still from Season 1?” Betty says.
“I’m mad at you because you’re happy bro, that’s it,” Evi shrugs. “I gotta do all this weird ominous plan to be happy and you just get to be happy - like you have people.”
“Mhm. I’m not the same person, though.”
“I feel like the same person.”
Betty laughs bitterly at that. “No, believe me - you’ve changed. Would you really have - said the stuff you’ve - said to me, before? Really?”
“Yeah I - wouldn’t have said that. But that’s because our relationship is different. Not that I’m different.”
Betty grimaces. “I’m not sure that’s -”
Once again, they’re going in circles, but… maybe they’re making steps forward.
“I think we can get better,” Evi muses. “I just - need to stop with the weird threats and emotional stuff. It can’t be difficult - no, it really will be difficult but - I can do it.”
“Okay,” Betty says. She doesn’t want to let herself feel hopeful, but - “Okay. Yeah. That’d be good. I don’t mind the threats, but - the emotional stuff. Yeah.”
Evi grins at her, and for a short moment Betty wonders if they can actually make this work.
Then Evi suddenly yells “I need to kill Cogmented!” and Betty pauses, laughs.
“Huh?” She knows Cog is watching them - or Evi, at least - he’d announced that intention very clearly. She’d be lying if it didn’t scare her a bit - she’s never been the greatest fan of gods, not least -
Evi places a sign on the ground, scribbles something about Cogmented whispering evil things in their ear - Betty shouldn’t laugh but she does.
Cog is - strange. A disturbing mix of the mortal and the divine - she doesn’t think she’ll ever understand him, and… maybe it does say a lot about how much she’s changed that the annoyance over Cog meddling in her relationships again is almost eclipsed by curiosity. It’s interesting - she doesn’t understand him. She wants to.
A moment later, her communicator sparks with a message.
Server whispers to you: if evi changes himself for others it will be the exact same predicament youve seen before.. it's in his nature to destroy himself and that's how it should be
The text is glitched, glowing - nothing mortal about that. Nothing mortal at all. Betty giggles. It’s - exciting. New. A challenge, too.
i don’t agree, she writes back.
[Server] <cogmented> you can disagree if you want it doesnt change how things will be
[Server] <cogmented> remain in your patterns
<BettyIsBaffled> i changed so can evi
[Server] <cogmented> change in behavior not personality
<evi4> lowkey youve been right about everything though
<BettyIsBaffled> i like evis personality
[Server] <cogmented> that's what evis trying to change
[Server] <cogmented> some things are just intrinsic
[Server] <cogmented> youll say and present yourself differently but you will always have your wants
Hah. This is interesting - she murmurs something to Evi about not listening to him, calls Cog a pessimist.
Evi is - worried, though - he keeps looking round, shoulders tense.
Why does Cogmented always have to interfere in my relationships - Betty thinks to herself, a little hysterically.
“Evi,” she says gently. “Don’t listen to him. We’ve got this. You’ve got this.”
Evi laughs, a little panicked. “Lowkey he’s always been right though -”
“No. Not true.”
They talk a little more - Betty asks why Evi’s so worried about Cog, beyond the whole… godhood stuff, and their response is so terrified she leaves it be. And then - they’re done talking for now, it’s late, Betty needs to sleep - she respawns on her island wondering whether being hopeful might not be a bad thing this time.
She’s still curious, though. The next day she messages them, asks - Are you sure you can’t tell me more about -
Evi is… very hesitant. He brings up her relationship with Sin - a reason not to trust her.
Betty types out a response, deletes it, tries again. How does she put that relationship into words?
yes me and sin are soulmates yes i belong to her but evi i am still a person with free will, she tries. I care about you and my relationship with sin doesn't change that - she wonders how much Evi believes her.
It doesn’t matter. They talk a little more, Evi thinks about it - less than half an hour later they meet at Betty’s island, sit together in the branches of the tree and talk. Betty has instructions not to tell anyone about what was said - she agrees, hesitantly, but as the conversation continues she realises it’s nothing she’d want to share with anyone anyways.
And Betty thought she was weird -
It’s a situation that Betty’s completely separate from - she has no stakes in this other than wanting Evi to be okay - “I need to like - kill him,” she says at one point, shocked, and Evi grimaces.
“It won’t help believe me I’ve tried,” she says, looking up at the sky.
It’s nice to be trusted with the story regardless - it feels like another step forward but dear gods does Evi have a skill for getting herself in situations - no wonder the two of them get along so well.
When Betty has to leave, Evi tells her about the “violent weapons” he’s given Void’s allays - Betty spends the next ten minutes chasing them trying to retrieve the end crystal from one set of tiny blue claws, giggling as they skip out of reach again and again and again -
Eventually she grabs hold of it, replaces the crystal with a sunflower and the creature nudges at her hair, her wings, before flying off to join its friend. Evi’s - watching through Betty’s eyes, currently, and it feels weird saying goodbye to a ghost but Evi’s voice rings in her ears regardless, and he sounds - happier.
“Good talk,” she says. “I’ll - see you around. Later?”
“Yeah!”
Maybe being hopeful isn’t such a bad thing.