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She couldn’t do this. She could NEVER have done this. Lead an entire city of trolls into battle!? Callista the calamity…?
She had her name for a reason. Time and time again she’s messed everything up. The battle of Killahead would hardly be a mishap to Gunmar if she were in charge.
Then there was Jim. He seemed just as shocked as everyone else. Even he didn’t think she was qualified. Or that’s what she read from him whispering to his human friend…
The amulet in front of her, calling her name. Suddenly smells of hatred and disgust surrounded her like never before. She hardly knew what was going on and she still hated herself for it. Or well, whatever it was that she did.
“Me…? I’ve never been chosen for anything…”
“Speak the incantation, trollhunter.” Merlin said, she could hardly care for what he had to say. He sucked and his magic pocket watch sucked too.
She took a shuddering breath- that she immediately regretted. All of the bad emotions of every troll nearby filling her lungs with polluted air.
But there was a hint of hope in it, somewhere in the room. She looked around and locked eyes with Jim standing with that human girl. He had just been whispering to the other, and there was a brief look of shock written on his face that was fading away quickly.
And when he had noticed her looking at them, he paused.
And gave her a big smile. “you’ve got this!” She could hear in her mind. It was his voice. That kid believed in her. He needed her to do this. And damn if that wasn’t motivation, then she didn’t know what was.
Here goes…
“For the… glory of Merlin- “
“-Bushigal! It chose Callista the Calamity?!” A blue troll with sharp spikes on his back in the audience yelled, mocking her.
Then he howled in laughter. They all did. At her.
Her hands started to shake; she looked back down at the trinket.
Damn it, she couldn’t even read the words anymore- she couldn’t- She CAN’T.
“Do not listen to them! Keep going!” That fuckface wizard should just shut up and take a look around him for once! Maybe gain a bit of sympathy while he’s at it!
“No, they’re right. I-I can’t do this.”
“Cal, wait!”
And she ran out the door.
What was she thinking, Jim probably believed in her.
She weakly snickered as she twisted the stupid little thing in her hands. ‘He really shouldn’t.’ She thought.
The kid was too good to see how incapable she was. From the moment he was thrown into the dungeon- (which should never have happened. It would be a battle between her and Arthur if he even came in close proximity with her again.) -He had believed everything would be okay. That his friends were coming to get him. That nobody would suffer.
He wasn’t supposed to be in armor. He wasn’t supposed to have scars she’s only seen on warriors like AAARRRGGHH for example. She’d given it no mind at first, but after the woods… Things started to feel less normal. Living in the Camelot dungeons can really mess up your boundaries on what’s right or wrong. Such as a literal whelp having the top-notch survival instincts of a war general.
And that was even better. His life was now in her hands. That sweet little kid could die, and it would be her fault. For stealing the amulet from someone who could actually lead them all to victory. Her brain felt like it was trying to balance multiple teacups, a heavy stack of books, and juggle rocks at the same time. She ran her hand down her face. She was panicking, it was all out of her control.
She opened her eyes and glared at the amulet. Merlin’s little toy that was supposed fix everything. She snarled deeply as she threw it at the wall, away from her. Hey, maybe that’s how she’ll take down the fucking King of Darkness!! Throwing a pocket watch at him should do the trick!
As soon as she had thrown it, it zoomed back to her feet. Why did it keep doing that? It had followed her all the way here! She growled as she immediately picked it up again and threw it.
And it flew back.
She kept her eyes on the thing for a while, before realizing how intense her stare was, and how angrily she was hyperventilating. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting her head hit the hard rock behind her.
“Chose her” It almost made her laugh! An amulet can’t choose anyone, It’s an amulet! Was this some joke Merlin was pulling? Was helping the king torture her and her kind not funny enough for him?
‘For the glory of Merlin.’ Great Grokna-Morka, he was so self-centered!...
…Why was this thing still here?
She picked it up and threw it again. It didn’t even ricochet off the wall. It was just at her feet again, and that pissed her off. So, she went at it again.
She picked it up.
She threw it.
It flew back.
And repeat.
And repeat.
And…
“Cal…?”
She nearly jumped at his voice. Not only did he sneak up on her, but he sounded so worried.
It must be pity. She knew that feeling well. The other option… not so much.
“Are you okay…?” he almost whispered, coming closer. She sighed.
“No. I don’t think anyone will be by tomorrow. Not after what I did.”
Jim sat down next to her. “What you did? Cal, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I did. I took the amulet away from the real Trollhunter. Whoever they are.”
“The amulet chose you, Cal. And it doesn’t make mistakes- “
“But I don’t deserve it. The trolls wouldn’t follow my lead anyways. I’m… I’m an outcast, Jim. I-I don’t have a home- I don’t even have a name!”
Jim picked up the amulet, holding it in his hands like it were both poison, and the embodiment of hope. He looked as if he were going to give it to her, but he hesitated. He sighed, putting on a warm smile. Wherever the kid was from, he was surely the one to light up the room during dark times- Deya just knew it.
“Cal, in the short time that I’ve known you, I’ve seen you do incredible things. You escaped Camelot and outran a legion of knights, you protected other people in the process, and… and you saved me. You treated me like I belonged- never made me believe I was an outcast. And I don’t think you see how much that says about you.”
She looked to the amulet, and then to his face. That hopeful smile of his drooped, and something in his eyes immediately struck a sick feeling into her gut. It was so hopeless. What…?
“Jim…?”
“…The truth is, when I became the Trollhunter, nobody had believed in me either. I was weak, had no experience, and I was… human. So that was a definite dealbreaker for them. They had me prove myself over and over, and then never took my victory seriously. I didn’t believe in myself either, and at first, I was actually in the same position as you right now! The thing wouldn’t leave me alone!” He chuckled, she frowned.
“They all had decided I would die on my first day out. One even tried to kill me himself in a…duel.”
He had that look again.
She couldn’t form the words. But so badly she wanted to hold him. Find a way to get rid of all the darkness he’s been through. Had nobody ever told him that none of that was normal for a whelp? Were the trolls where he was from just.. okay with a child dying?! Scratch that- they had hoped that he would. They had fucking tried. She felt so goddamn sick…
He shook his head, letting himself smile again. “But eventually, even when they all decided I would never be anything, I stayed strong. I had people near me that cheered me on, I ignored their remarks and continued to do my job. And in the end, I proved every single one of them wrong. And I gained my own home in the meantime. A home with the people closest to me.”
She scoffed. “People can’t be a home. It’s a tribe, a space, a-“
“Back where I’m from we have a saying. Which is weird that I’m saying it like that since everyone I’ve ever met has known it… But we say that ‘home is where the heart is.’ That the people who care about you and that you love are your home. Atleast that’s the version I got of it.”
“No wonder you come from there, skinny…” She remarked with a smile. She put her eyes back onto the amulet. What a sweet saying… “But you have your friends Jim. I have… nobody here. Every troll laughed at me back there.”
“Wait… every troll?”
She sighed, recalling the memory. “Yeah. Every troll.”
“No it wasn’t.”
She paused… before getting it. “No! No I don’t mean you- I mean the other Dwoza trolls-“
“Wrong again.”
…
…Well, now she was really confused.
“Cal, you remember the trolls we had helped back in Camelot? Some were there in Dwoza.”
“Yeah? There were a couple Dwoza captives that had been caught by Arthur. They were welcomed back.”
“But they never laughed at you.”
…
…They what?
She blinked rapidly in disbelief. Why wouldn’t they? Jim smiled, it reaching his eyes. He looked like he was reading her mind.
“They know you, Cal. They know what you did for them. Without you, they would have been killed.”
“No- Jim, that was you and your friends-“
“But who made sure they were all getting through every corridor? Who made sure that even the biggest troll could sneak past a group of guards?”
Her mouth was open, she wanted to deny it. It could never be true. But she didn’t have anything to react with. She bit her lip and looked away from the whelp.
“You’ve already shown yourself to be an amazing leader. After everything you’ve done, I’m sure that you can lead. I’m sure that you can make a name for yourself.”
“Make a name for myself?” She scoffed. “But Callista-“
“Callista isn’t your name. Not if that’s not who you are. Only you can decide that.”
She took in his words, her head trying to sort them out- make sense of what he’d meant. Then, she looked at the ground next to her.
She had pocketed a totem from her old village. Why? Maybe for sentimental value. Maybe because she’d wanted to die with a reminder of home. But maybe…
Jim looked at the stone in curiosity as she rubbed off dirt and moss from the back, revealing trollish writing.
“What is it?” He asked, his voice whispery as he leaned forward to read, despite his lack of trollish skills. His young wonder was adorable, but reminded her of the conversation they had to have. The things she needed to do now that she was thinking about it.
She read the words in her head. They felt so familiar. The words almost made her feel… at peace.
“Deya.” She read. She picked up her head to see Jim sigh, just barely letting out a chuckle.
“That’s it, isn’t it. That’s your name.” He beamed at her, smiling ear to ear. She copied him, but softer.
“I like it. It fits.” He said after seeing her reaction.
“So do I…”
They sat there for a while Deya read the name over and over, letting the new name sink in. Her name. She imagined others calling the name. ‘Hey, Deya!’ ‘Where’s Deya?...” Deya…
Deya paused. She pried her eyes away from the letters than rang loudly in her ears with joy- and locked eyes with the kid absolutely beaming at her with a dark crystal jabbed into his armor- right on his chest.
“Jim. You… you shouldn’t fight in the battle.” She forced out. It was tough to say- she hadn’t even known that was what she’d wanted. But as she’d said it, her feelings made sense. However, they obviously didn’t make sense to Jim, who blinked in surprise.
“Wh…What?” He said breathily. “I don’t… really understand.” He now fully frowned, and sat deeper.
“Jim, I don’t know where you came from- why you were chosen of all people to be Trollhunter, why you were transformed, why… Everything.” She sighed. “But I don’t want you to fight. There’s another Trollhunter by your side. You don’t need to do this. You’re just a kid-“
“Deya, stop.” He said with hunched shoulders.
Guilt filled her features- she hadn’t meant to make him look like that, he just had to understand.
“Skinny, I’m not saying you’re weak. I’m not saying you’re incapable- “
“I know what you’re saying, Deya. I know you don’t want me out there, trust me- you’re not the only one. But I have to.”
“Why do you think that…?” She asked cautiously.
He opened his mouth to speak, then scrunched his nose as he closed it. He leaned against the rock behind them. “I have the training, the strength, and my amulet. I’m a fighter, Deya.”
“Jim, you’re a kid-“
“Stop telling me that! I’m almost seventeen!-“
He stops abruptly as Deya’s eyes quickly snap to him, wide as ever. Everything is silent except for the ringing in her ears.
“What…?” She whispered, her mind easing into a deep form of attention. Some sort of instinct, possibly.
Jim stared at her, then squinted his eyes in confusion. “What? What’s wrong?... Why are you looking at me like that…?”
She must’ve looked as if she’d seen a ghost. She’d honestly rather the feeling of seeing a ghost over this.
She dug her nails into the grass in fury- and to ground the horror she felt. “Please- Please tell me you meant one-hundred-seventeen. Please.” Now, Callista wasn’t one to beg, but. Wow. Holy shit. Holy SHIT!
Jim’s tilted his head slightly as he cringed in on himself. “No…? Why would I be anywhere over a hundred? Deya, I don’t understand-“
Suddenly a wooshing sound and the presence of magic other than Jim and Deya’s own filled the air.
“Jim…? It’s almost time.” Deya heard from behind the whelp. Deya jumped, her mind going into fight or flight at the sight of the human girl, especially when Jim could’ve been in danger- and especially after her new… information. When she’d recognized Jim’s friend, she was far from relaxed.
She was the same age, sure. Humans matured much- much faster than trolls. Jim was human before but now-
Jim’s a troll.
“No. He’s not going.”
The human girl was physically taken aback, with the same shock that Jim wore before- but also with quick defensiveness.
“What are you talking about?”
“Deya- please-“ Jim started. She didn’t want to hear it.
“You’re a child, Jim! I’m not sure if you noticed, but we Trolls age much- MUCH slower than humans do.” Her anger suddenly mixed with a sadness that filled her mind. “Ugh, I should’ve seen the signs! I mean, I knew you were a whelp and I didn’t even want you fighting then- but all of the instincts, the pouncing, your nature… You shouldn’t be in any war. You should never have been fighting.”
Jim’s whole body was tense, his face contorted in many different expressions combined. Fear, anger, sadness… She couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking.
“Just because I’m younger… doesn’t mean I’m weak.” He said slowly, punctuating each word.
“Damn it, I never said you were weak, Jim! I mean yeah, you have that whole shard thing going on- But I’ve seen you fight. You’re… incredible! You were literally dodging Gunmar’s fucking General!”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Then- Then why wouldn’t I fight…?”
Deya sighed. “You’re just a kid. You’re supposed to be playing in the trees, looking for bugs, trying to eat crystals, and… all that kid stuff. You’re only seventeen and you’re fighting wars so, so much bigger than you.” She scooted closer to him and put two hands on his armored shoulders. “I know that you’re the Trollhunter, and I know that you’ve technically been the Trollhunter way longer than I have. But you don’t have to fight this one.”
No words were spoken, no remarks, no defenses. Just her and two kids that were staring at her as if she was telling them to abandon all they knew.
“Should I… Should I come back?” She awkwardly pointed behind her with a thumb.
“Claire- “
“Yeah, kid.” She looked to the side. “You’re young too, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about you fighting either- since I’ve seen so many knights younger than you. But if you’re like Jim- maybe consider taking it easy.”
Claire frowned, her eyes darting between Jim and Deya, back and forth. She gently nodded, and ran into a freshly made shadow portal.
Jim looked as if he were about to go after her- but as she disappeared, his body eased in defeat. He sort-of curled into himself- now fully looking like a whelp that was being lectured by their mother. He looked at the ground before him.
“Deya… This is what I was made to do. I have to fight.”
“But what were you doing before that? What were you made to do before the amulet…?”
It seemed like memories were dawning on him as his eyes softened. He looked up at her. “Cooking.”
She smiled. “Cooking?”
He nodded, increasingly becoming more confident in his nod. “I’d been cooking since I was five. People said I was like a cooking prodigy. I made really complicated dishes, and I cooked for my friends everyday…”
Past tense… “You don’t anymore…?”
His frown twisted with sadness, Deya was about to apologize for asking. “Ever since I became a troll, nothing I used to love tastes good anymore. I can’t bring out any spices without them overloading my senses, and I can’t test anything because it will just taste bad.” Deya scooted closer to him to maneuver a comforting arm around his shoulders.
He leaned into her side. “Sometimes… Sometimes I miss when I thought my future would be in the kitchen. Like… a professional chef somewhere nice.” His eyes sparkled with what was now lost dreams, and Deya immediately saw Jim in another light. That look. That look was what he was supposed to have worn his entire life.
Jim blinked as if trying to recuperate from a daze, and shook his head, dispersing that look. Once again, he looked not like Jim, but like the Trollhunter.
And it shattered Deya’s heart.
“But that’s not my future anymore- it never was. This is my life. Fighting is what I do.”
Deya looked down at the kid. Damn it. “I don’t want you to die, Jim.”
His shoulder’s sunk. “Deya, I can’t- I…” He whispered. She stood up, his eyes following her as he stuttered.
“Deya?” He tilted his head as she held out her hand, waiting for him to take it. His eyes shined, as if he could cry.
“I really… Really don’t want to say this, Skinny. But fine.” She sighed. “I can’t convince you to stay back, not after everything you’ve been through. So, if you just deal with the little guys- I won’t force you to stay.” She smiled, despite her internal conflict with her decision. It was almost night, and her not showing up at all was worse than him coming along.
He was surprised at first, but his surprise faded into a soft smile, and he chuckled with that same softness. Her surprise at how quickly his mood had changed almost made her visibly show it.
“You were gonna force me?” He said, taking her hand. She shrugged.
“Hey, be glad I chose to do this instead.” She pulled him up with too much ease- the kid was light as a feather- and she hesitantly laughed as well. Not that their bicker could break through… whatever awful feeling she had in her gut.
“I’ll stick to the little guys, promise.”
“You better be good at keeping your word, Skinny.” She said as they began to walk out.
“Hey, when haven’t I?”