Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

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DOs

Rotgrind, Rotgoons, Kingmaker/The Eclectics, Starfinder, Wrath & Glory, and Rustcrew!1!1!

ships >_< 

whumps n angst :3

au s!! :D

i do art too blah :p

oc inserts :o

DO NOTs

smut :< 

proship / weird ships >:/

warhams <\3 i haven’t watched it blaghhh.. sorryyy..

if there’s anything else i don’t wanna do i will probably just like. tell you ^w^ 

Chapter Text

Winding down our emotions.

Family and friends becoming ghosts to dream of.

And pass on, time will erase every face, every name..

We are alone, no one to blame.

Bernadette, IAMX.

Tapping his fingers on the incorporeal bag, Tellem’s eyes were distant. He really didn’t see the big deal. It was silly, if you asked him. It was his prize and a goopy lake wouldn’t stop him from collecting it. A trance, they had said. No, he remembered every second of it! He did. Blank spots in memory is normal for an undead, and his memory wouldn’t fail him if it involved endangering himself.

He tightened his grip on the bag unconsciously, glancing at the roaring fire. A similar time, maybe an arrow would’ve shot through his back. The parallels were definitely there. With a work partner and a fire in the reflection of the water, a tense atmosphere revolving profit.. Tellem wasn’t happy to think about it.

With Gray and Heart tending to the flame, it only seemed to grow. It continued to consume with no plan to stop. Consuming what it could was what it was meant to do. All it had to do was survive and consume.

As Tellem’s vision blurred and all he could see was the orange glow, he felt himself losing his grip on consciousness. He knew he wasn’t resting. He didn’t need basic necessities, he needed wealth . But what else could this be described as?

He felt the warmth get closer, feeling like the intense heat of the Quan-Shir sun seeping through his visor. He stopped drifting forward when he recalled words his caravan told him - ‘The sun could’ve gotten to you. People go mad out here.’ - and decided to return to the seat. He could handle the heat, definitely, but he wasn’t going to push his luck.

They’d finish their shipment despite this little hiccup, and they’d all move on. That’s how it always went with things like this. He was fine, they were fine.

Tellem tugged on his veil a bit, not pulling it down completely but just enough to get a better breath of air. Instead of Quan-Shir atmosphere, though, he inhaled smoke. That wasn’t right.

He wanted to look for the source of the flame, but his vision was locked onto the sun setting on the desert for an extended period of time. He couldn’t tell you why. Once he blinked harshly, he broke his gaze and managed to realize the source of the smoke was before him. The camp was on fire.

He inhaled sharply despite the smoke, his brain muddling the voices of those around him. Someone touched him - that wasn’t right, either - and he couldn’t process it. Fire couldn’t be controlled in such a dry area. They had to flee.

Tellem’s breath was unstable and inconsistent as he stared into the sunset, the only bit of bliss he could have before he keeled. His chest stung and his eyes burned, despite the fact he could not feel a thing besides fuzz. He felt a sharp pain in his back. He immediately fell forward, just barely processing agony. He could do nothing about the pain. His surroundings churned and smudged while all he could do was try and live.

He felt another jab through his back and cried out, spasming before his breath hitched and froze. He’s gone through this before, hasn’t he? Where was he?

He felt his senses come back to him. Where was he?

Tellem felt the ground beneath his chest, the stone beneath his hands - well, as much as he could feel it. He was on the cold, stone floor. He wasn’t in Quan-Shir. He was with his work partners in the sewers.

He felt large hands shaking him lightly, and opened his eyes to look at the slowly dissipating blur of Gray and Heart. He blinked harshly and his vision cleared enough to see Heart holding onto him and Gray being unable to. They both had the same expression, though. He couldn’t quite discern it yet with his quickly moving thoughts being all too slow.

“.. lem . Tellem. Tellem!” Tellem heard Heart repeat, getting a bit louder each time.

Barely holding his mind from completely blanking, he stared at Heart through his visor.

“Heart.” Tellem muttered, surprised he even managed to speak.

“TELLEM! Oh, thank goodness. Are you okay?!” Tellem nodded, gaining control of his limbs again. His chest heaved, he noticed. He didn’t need to breathe, so why was he acting like he did?

“What was that!?” A voice squawked, getting a wince out of Tellem. Beetle.

“Ehem. Ah- Apologies. I lost control of my thoughts.” Tellem inhaled sharply as the pain of the arrows in his back surged through him. He chuckled nervously, knowing there was nothing he could do about it. He exhaled through his clenched teeth and clutched onto the fabric of his robes in order to ground himself.

“You lost- You lost control of your thoughts.” Gray deadpanned.

“..Yes? It is not a new occurrence.” Tellem breathed.

“You jerked onto the floor and cried out because you lost control of your thoughts.”

Tellem cringed. He didn’t like when he had physical reactions during an episode. Actually, he just didn’t like having episodes. Especially not with company. “Apologies.” He repeated.

Gray growled. Tellem didn’t know if it was at him or not. Maybe she was still upset about the bag thing.

“What- Is this because we were mad at you??” Beetle asked, sticking his snout into Tellem’s vision. Heart was still holding onto the merchant, and with a few taps Tellem managed to get himself out of Heart’s grasp.

“No, no.” Tellem waved a hand dismissively. “It is no big deal.”

“You were on the floor .” Gray stated, again.

Tellem hummed. He knew what triggered it, but it was not a concern of the others. They didn’t need to know. He brushed sand off of his robes out of habit, looking at his work partners.

Beetle looked at him with an expression of fear . Tellem stared back, dull and tired. The world seemed to warp and disfigure around Beetle’s figure, slowly taking Beetle with it into the background. The merchant could not think clearly, trying his absolute hardest to focus on his surroundings. It never worked, but nobody knew him as one to give in to life’s efforts.

—

“..Why’re you staring at me??” Beetle asked to no response. Tellem, after his freakout, had just been staring at Beetle with no change in posture or expression. It was creepy.

“Did you hear me??” Beetle tried again, getting intensely uncomfortable and a bit concerned. Tellem didn’t react. The kobold turned to the elder Gnoll, Gray, for help. Gray clenched and unclenched her paws nervously, approaching the unresponsive ghost with a bit of recognition in her eyes. That was good, Beetle assumed.

“Tellem. You’re okay.” Gray stated, looking through Tellem’s visor. “You’re here.”

Beetle shared a glance with Heart, both with concern on their face. Gray turned around to look at them with a firm expression.

“Heart, can you move him?” She asked. Heart had some ability to hold incorporeal objects and this applied to Tellem as well. Heart nodded and gently held Tellem’s hand, guiding Tellem toward where Gray was gesturing with her paws.

Tellem did follow, albeit sluggishly. If you asked Beetle how to describe it, it’d be like.. pulling a wagon. It was a bit awkward to watch.

Heart sat down and had Tellem do the same. Gray sat next to them, so beetle found himself plopping next to the gnoll when she started to speak.

“Tellem, we’re in the pipes.” The elder told him. Tellem’s hand grasped onto his robes a bit tighter. “Look at the water. Feel Heart’s hands. You’re here .”

Heart squeezed his other hand, since nobody else could.

“Listen to me talk. You’re here.” And so, Gray talked. She talked about her kids, about what she had been doing, and about what she’s going to do until she dies.

—

Gradually, Tellem was brought back to the present. Beetle didn’t actually know how long it took, but long enough for the fire to die.

Tellem’s eyes were no longer glazed and distant, so Gray directly spoke to him.

“Tellem. Where are you?”

“The..” Tellem’s eyes flickered to Beetle and Heart. “..The pipes.”

Gray nodded. “What can you feel?”

Tellem paused for a moment, his eyes widening for a moment. “Heart’s hand..?” Heart could touch him? Goodness, Tellem hadn’t been touched in years. It wasn’t the same as when he was alive, but it was something to be acknowledged.

Gray nodded again. “You’re okay.” She finally repeated, watching Tellem cling onto Heart’s hand.

The merchant seemed exhausted - even worse than before. Beetle didn’t fully know why but he could ask Gray after. For now, they all just needed to rest. He’s sure everyone else thought the same, since the group shortly went to bed.

—

In the morning, everyone felt better. Heart was preparing rations by the now refuelled fire with Gray and Beetle as company. Heart had overtime gotten more worried with Tellem’s absence, in all honesty.

Tellem was always the first up, not needing to sleep as much and all. Now, though, Tellem was last . Floating in the air, dead asleep. After the night prior Heart was sure the merchant needed it, but it didn’t make the fact any less unnerving. Tellem was always on top of things.

“And so THAT, my beautiful grandmother and brother, is why the teeth were an absolute necessity and I was simply thinking ahead.”

“..Well, at least you got something out of it.” Gray sighed fondly, smiling.

“Speaking of getting things, should we wake Tellem? We do need to get going soon..” Heart spoke up, glancing at the ominous figure of Tellem. Not like it bothered anyone but they didn’t want to take too long to get out of here.

Beetle looked at Gray for an answer and she nodded in response.

“I think that’s a good idea.”

So, Heart demanded Beetle to make sure the food didn’t set ablaze and went to approach the unconscious Tellem.

Poke.

Poooke.

Poke.

“UH-!” Tellem gasped, waking up with a start and staring at Heart wide eyed. Heart responded with a grin, stepping back.

“Wakey-wakey, mage man.” Heart sang, trotting over to the not-yet burnt rations.

“ Mage man..? ” The monk heard Tellem mumble.

“He’s up!” Heart announced, finishing up the rations and passing them out to everyone except for Tellem. Ghosts cant eat, so it was just more food to split for the party.

“Sleepy, huh?” Gray raised an eyebrow at the ghost approaching playfully.

Tellem looked around, his eyes widening when he saw everyone awake. Heart assumed he would’ve processed that he woke up last when Heart had woken him up, but Heart yields. His brain is slow in the morning, too.

“Oh,” Tellem hummed. “I see. My apologies, I don’t know why that is..”

The merchant reached under his veil to rub his face. Heart hadn’t ever actually seen the ghosts face, he realized. Maybe it was mauled up or something after he got shot.

Tellem did feel a bit quieter this morning. Heart assumed it was only fair after yesterday’s events, but that didn’t mean the monk appreciated it.

“Ya ghosted out yesterday.” Beetle told him, causing Tellem’s eyes to go half lidded as he stared at the kobold.

“I’m aware.”

“What was that about? IF- If that’s not like.. rude or something!!” Beetle asked him, looking increasingly nervous the more Tellem stared. Tellem broke his gaze quickly after, likely noticing the kobolds jitteriness.

“Just..” The ghost clamped his hands into fists and released them repeatedly. “Undead minds cope in their own immature ways.”

“Immature?” Heart repeated, tilting his head.

“As if spiteful.” Tellem nodded. “Spiteful that I died in the first place.”

It went a bit silent after that. Besides the crackling fire and the still water, even the ambience quieted. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, but a silence nonetheless. Gray seemed to be deep in thought as Heart and Beetle started getting ready to keep moving.

“That is how it is, isn’t it?” Gray hummed as she stood up, grabbing her arrows and crossbow.

Tellem sighed and looked back at Heart and Beetle, meeting their gaze.

Beetle threw him a thumbs up, stuffing a baggie of teeth into the party’s bags. Heart nodded at him before going back to watching Beetle try fruitlessly to not spill his collection.

They were with eachother, and that was what mattered. Even with just a small moment of calm, perhaps before a storm, they felt they would be okay.