Chapter Text
Ingolstadt, early 2000
It is right at the end of the first month, the first month of their new living arrangement together after Tenma got called back to Germany from his Doctors Without Borders missions. Regarding the Johan case, as the public calls it now, and the fact that the news of his escape was conveyed to the doctor right after he landed in another country, to supposedly be stationed for another 6 months there.
As the Doctor was the last person to be seen visiting him, his name was once again roiled in the case, now as an accomplice rather than the suspect.
There wasn’t much to suspect in the first place, not nearly enough to put him on trial, causing the Johan case to be put in limbo for an indeterminate time. There was a lack of evidence, prosecutions, and even testimonies from the people involved who, for crying out loud, should’ve been at the forefront of suing him, yet had all declined their willingness to participate as witnesses, for some inexplicable reasons. Including none other than Tenma himself, to Johan’s utter confusion, as well as his twin sister, who should’ve still held a grudge against him for killing her beloved foster parents.
Furthermore, the former chief investigator who was solely in charge of the Tenma case and was the only one out of Germany’s authorities who was directly involved with the Johan case, Herr Lunge, had gracefully stepped back and put down his badge while declining any further involvement with the case. The newly appointed chief investigator could no longer do much to force his way into solving the case, stalling any further investigations, and bringing shame to the face of the authorities.
They resorted to underhanded negotiations after Johan showed his presence again to those authorities in the form of letters, unnamed and without a return address, politely requesting (but not without an obvious hint of threats) for them to leave the people listed in the letter alone. As well as conveying that incarceration would do nothing to him.
The authorities changed their tactic as they realized they needed to involve Tenma no matter what, not to guilt-trip him or convict him as an accomplice, but to ask for his help, as Johan had heavily hinted at the fact that Dr. Tenma was the only one he could trust.
The words they appealed to Tenma for the arrangement were to keep the public from unnecessary uproar regarding the most notorious serial killer in Europe, now let loose again on the street. But seriously, who were they kidding? Even a high schooler could figure out this was all but a farce to save the authorities’ face and reputation, let alone someone of his and Dr. Tenma's caliber.
The underhanded negotiation went on for almost a month, until Tenma finally relented only after he was offered a guarantee to conduct his postponed research back then under Dr. Heinemann’s tutelage. He was given full funding for the research as well as teaching neurosurgery residents in Ingolstadt.
The arrangement of Dr. Tenma and him living together was met with profound disagreements and dissatisfactions from mostly Tenma’s acquaintances. Regardless, they soon subsided as they learned how that meant Tenma would be staying in Germany, spending his time on the research he had longed to do and getting back on his feet as the prominent neurosurgeon that he always was.
No one was happier about that particular situation than Dieter, apparently.
The little boy was... is still living under the care of Dr. Reichwein, as he had begun going to school prior to Tenma moving back. It was one of the reasons why the Doctor had chosen this particular city, as it isn’t too far from Munich and is still within a safe range for Dieter to come by himself, whenever the boy wants to.
~~
The lack of substantial news about the fate of the infamous serial killer has indeed sparked some debates in the mass media. The more credible media fronts controlled by the government have somehow unanimously published statements that to this day, Johan is still in a coma without any inklings of recovery, still heavily guarded by armed officers, and with strict rules of visiting.
However, some of the boldest, independent media have voiced their doubts, questioning the lack of transparency from the authorities and demanding the closure of the cases. Some other speculators and more commercialized media, which intended more to entertain the public than to serve facts, have resorted to releasing eye-catching headlines, calling him all sorts of names in their articles, from the ‘toothless predator’, ‘clawless demon’, ‘a tamed devil’, and the newest one, The Sleeping Monster. The list of mockery went on for a while, yet none of them had provoked him. Not even a little bit.
He does think, though, if he has lost some of his old touches after being shot in the head for the second time and resurrected yet again. Forcing him to live another life he had never wanted.
He suffers some sequelae, for sure. Symptoms he can only peg as neurological. Cluster headaches around his temporal bone to the right side of his face, frequent bouts of nausea that come and go in waves, sometimes some weakness and numbness in his left extremities, and some difficulties in recalling things…
He is always a light sleeper. But now, it’s even more difficult for him to fall asleep.
And the one that probably irks him the most is the fluctuations of emotions he has never felt before. At least never as prominently and vividly as it is now. He isn’t sure if this is still neurologically driven or if it actually has more to do with the guy he lives with. His savior, twice.
Living with Tenma is not difficult, contrary to his expectations. He had assumed Tenma would treat him coldly, being a former nemesis and all that. There was no closure between them about the case, about their prior bad blood. And no matter how you see it, this arrangement is seemingly forced on Tenma’s side. It’s as if the doctor is once again being held responsible for saving his life.
Yet, no matter what the doctor thinks, he surely doesn’t show it in how he treats him as a housemate.
Tenma bought a new apartment at Johannestraβe, just a few streets away from his workplace. A fully-furnished unit in a 3-storey building that is neither too old nor too new. The apartment isn’t big per se, only enough for two adult men without being too cramped. It has two bedrooms, a quite spacious living room with a TV and a cozy kitchen, as well as a dining area connected to it. The smaller bedroom is his while the master bedroom is Tenma’s, functioning as his study as well.
Granted, living together doesn’t mean they get close in an instant. Tenma is always busy with work, and the only times when they interact in the same living spaces are in the morning during breakfast and later in the evening during dinner. About 2 days a week, excluding the emergency calls at midnight or in the wee hours of the morning, Johan even has to have breakfast by himself, as the doctor is still in the hospital for his night shifts.
They give each other a polite berth, only talking to each other when it’s necessary, even after almost a month of cohabiting. At the beginning, he noticed the doctor tried to strike up small talks with him, taking the initiative because there was no way Johan would, what with him preferring to hole up in his room if the doctor didn’t insist that they should have meals together whenever he was home. Johan responded well, but still said nothing more than necessary. Afterwards, Tenma seemingly took the hint and just left him mostly alone, except during meal times.
Weekends are the days when they will spend more time together. Tenma rarely goes out unless he has appointments with his colleagues, emergency calls, or visits to Dieter and Reichwein in Munich. When they are both cooped up at home, they are not exactly doing anything together like housemates should, but merely…coexisting in the same room. Reading books, watching television…being absorbed in doing their own things. Yet, when the telltale signs of his neurological discomforts start rearing their heads, it is the cue for Johan to retreat to his room before the doctor realizes it.
For some reason he can't explain, he doesn’t want Tenma to fuss over him more than necessary. Particularly not about this matter…these sequelae, knowing what they may indicate about his state of recovery and remind them of the cause, all the bad memories entwined with it.
He wonders if he is starting to lose his touch in controlling his emotions, as living with Tenma brings many fluctuations in his emotions. One moment he wants nothing but for the doctor to leave him alone; another moment he decides he dislikes it when Tenma pays more attention to others than himself.
One moment he wants to act cold to Tenma, and see if the older gets offended, yet another moment he finds himself looking forward to greeting him at the door in the evening, saying “welcome back” to Tenma’s “I’m home” and having dinner together.
When it comes to Tenma, Johan slowly but surely discovers that he keeps doing things that don’t benefit himself in the slightest.
Not that he just lets this happen, this feeling of slowly losing control of what he did best before. Getting what he wanted only through his mouth.
He did try, really tried, a few times. He slighted Tenma, tried to offend him with his silvery tongue…guilt-tripping, gaslighting, manipulating…wanted to see the old rage in Tenma’s eyes as back then, when they were face to face at gunpoints.
One time, he thought he had almost made it. Saw a flicker of it reflected in his dark eyes. Only for the heat to be snuffed out the next moment to mere mild embers, replaced by nothing but tiredness, and…was it sadness? melancholy?
The doctor then just closed his eyes and exhaled heavily, saying that they should talk only after they both had calmed down. The older man then quietly retreated to his bedroom.
There was not even a hint of anger there. Neither in Tenma's mien nor his tone.
But Johan felt himself completely calm, though? So he didn't understand what the doctor talked about calming himself down...
He had stopped trying after that, knowing it didn’t work. It never works when it comes to Tenma.
He realizes belatedly why he can never control Tenma, let alone manipulate him. Because as much as he (thinks) he knows the way the doctor thinks, knows how to read people of all ages the best because it is something he is gifted with, and because the older man always wears his heart on his sleeve and reflects what he feels on his face, in the end, Tenma rarely acts as Johan predicts. Never giving the satisfaction of acting the way Johan expects him to.
Dr. Tenma is the sole enigma in Johan’s life. One that always renders him to step back and question himself, doubting his powerful reign over humans’ emotions.
He can’t decide whether he likes this…this change in him. As if Tenma is the one gripping him, trying to sever and blur the lines between himself and his old self. Molting and shaping him anew.
Nevertheless, it isn’t met with any resistance from him, to his surprise.
He does wonder, though, if there’s another way to get what he wants from Tenma, not by doing what his former self was so good at, but something else.
He wonders what it takes for Tenma to finally relent to him.
So Johan observes his doctor, observes and observes during their first month of living together.
And he thinks he has finally figured it out.
He wants to try putting it into action and see the result, only to realize later on, there is nothing that he wants from the older man anymore.
He used to want the doctor to always remember him, which he obtained smoothly right after he left the hospital with his twin sister as a 10-year-old.
Nine years later, as they reunited again at the reconstructed building during that rainy night, the doctor had accidentally revealed that he had kept Johan in mind for all those years, that Johan had taught him a valuable lesson, and reminded him of what a true doctor should really be. One principle that Tenma held onto tightly in his life for all those 9 years was because of him.
Back then, he couldn’t be happier and wanted that to continue. Thus, for the next 3 years, he had the doctor not only remember him, but also chase him all around the country, trying to prove to Tenma and letting the doctor see that his principle he thought was bestowed upon him by Johan was nothing but flawed. Just like Johan's existence itself. A flawed existence that Tenma himself resurrected with his own naïve hands.
The next time he wanted something from the doctor was only for the two of them to witness The Scenery for A Doomsday.
He got what he wanted as well. Dr. Tenma was there with him, pointing his gun at him, with a look to kill.
However, he had never gotten what he wanted the most from the doctor, which was to take back the life he had given Johan all those 14 years ago. A life of nothing but suffering.
Instead, he gave it back in full force again, without Johan's consent.
From then on, Johan thinks he doesn’t want a lot of things anymore in this new life, especially not from Tenma.
Not until that particular day at the end of their first month of living together.