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“Darrel! Darrel!”
A voice to familiar called out, the unusual chatty house, now filled with a man eating silence, with the only noise being banging coming from the door.
“Please Darrel! Let me in!”
After that the pleading stoped, so did the banging, but not the sniffles and sobs. It was odd, it was out of place. The pair of brothers were sceptic in walking over to the door, but before, Sodapop, the younger of the two brothers, looked through the window, checking, as to see any anomalies. Darrel, the oldest, walked over to the door, looking through the peep hole.
A brunette, in a leather jacket, and a flannel too big for him. But that flannel, Darrel could recognize that flannel anywhere. It was the one they had seen Ponyboy in, the night they found him in the hospital, it was Dally’s.
“Oh,”
This guy didn’t look like Ponyboy though. Not one bit. Those once innocent eyes, were long gone on the boy in front of the door, his disheveled hair that said he’s been through hell and back. He looked frantic, blood was dripping from the corners of his mouth, so as tears, but they were dripping from his eyes falling into the corner of his mouth, accompanying the coper taste with salt. As salty as the ocean in Jims opinion.
He was terrified, standing in front of the Curtis household door. He was scared that John had followed him to Oklahoma. To Tusla. To his old home. Jims breathing was ragged and fast.
Jim heard the door open, slowly he looked up and saw his older brother, he had to fight the urge to hug him, apologize like there was no tomorrow, but in his case, there might not be a tomorrow.
“Who on earth are you? You don’t look like my Pony?”
That shattered something in Jim, that reached something no hitchhiker could reach. He couldn’t help but cover his face and sob, harder than he ever had. If younger him was crying, he would hide it, but its different now, he couldn’t hide it anymore,he couldn’t take all the sights of the dead bodies, of the finger he almost ate, at the police station, where all the officer’s that interrogated him, were lying in a pool of their own blood, getting feasted on by their police dog.
So when his big brother didn’t recognize him, his heart couldn’t take it anymore. The only recognized Jim by Dallas’s old flannel. And that hurt, more than any switchblade, bullet, or fist.
“I am! I am!” He cried out moving his hands to grip the part of cloth coving his not shattered heart “Please believe me Darrel, i am Ponyboy!”
Jim stared at Darrel, his face contorting to shame as he felt the hot tears stream down his pale face. He knew some part of Darrel knew it was him, believed that he was Ponyboy.
“Well.. I don’t.. know.” Darrel admitted with a sigh, he didn’t know what to think at the moment, I mean they themselves haven’t seen their littlest brother in years, not after their funeral. Johnny’s and Dally’s.
“Somethings happened to me!” He admitted, after all he saw, after all he’s been through, he himself almost thought it was unreal. “Why.. Why do i look so different to you..?”
He bent over as the pain in his heart was unbearable now.
“Now then,” Darrel calmly started, wiping some of the tears off of his ‘younger brother’, “calm down.”
Jim starts to panic, he doesn’t know why, but he does. “I don’t know what’s happened, but i am me!” He shot back up, away from his older brother’s touch, “Honestly I am!”
He soon regretted moving away, so he moved closer, into the comforts of his elder sibling. “Darrel, please believe me! I am Ponyboy..” He stared into the eyes of the elder, only receiving a pitied look. Jim tilted his head “You do know It’s me,” he paused before whispering a heartbreaking “you must..”
But before anyone can realize he said that, he started talking again, “You can’t forget your little Pony..”
Something in Darrel twisted in his get, his stomach dropped. He couldn’t speak, the lump in his throat was unbearable now, as tears poured into his vision. Darrel never cried. He didn’t cry at his parent’s funeral, he didn’t cry when his gang members died, so why now? Why was he crying right now. At some kid who claimed to be his little brother. His little Pony.
“Please Darrel..” Jim bit his lip, he didn’t know how to convince his older brother. “Please Darrel..” he repeated, his breath shaking. “Darrel..” The last one came out as a whisper.
Too distraught to speak, Soda, who heard the whole ordeal came to peak at Jim. He stared at the stranger that was claiming o be his younger brother. And who was he kidding, Jim looked like an older Ponyboy, but there was something different about him. That different something was his eyes, the ones who once held innocence, held tears, held terror, held things that should stay unspoken. His green eyes, his beautiful green eyes. Oh, what happened to them. They were all dark and wet. That once innocent look, long gone.
Jim’s eyes locked with Soda’s. He turned his head, he didn’t want him to see him in this state, it was embarrassing, it was humiliating. No, he didn’t turn his head because of that, he turned his head because he couldn’t stand to see the pained expression on their faces anymore, haunting him of when he ran away from home, and never came back. He even made Darrel cry too. He felt terrible. A guilt that no man has ever felt before.
He’s felt guilty for years now. And now, that guilt is slowing him down. After he transported that car to California, he was going to probably kill himself afterwards, i mean his life has just been so shitty. But after his encounter with John. He couldn’t. He couldn’t bring up even the words kill anymore.
He wanted to be home with his brothers, but at what cost? What cost was it to finally go home after years, and not have your family remember you.
“Im.. sorry, i must be at the wrong house..” He mumbled, wiping his tears, he knew he was going to die, but he didn’t want his older brothers to know. So he took the initiative and started to walk away.
“Ponyboy.” Jim stopped, turning around. He was met with an embrace. An embrace that was so far away when he left. An embrace he hadn’t felt in years.
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..
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Fin.