Chapter Text
Can I ever be him-
Dylan was shouting in the studio room
Currently at oner building, drunk and wasted
He does not know how he ended up there tbh , but he was howling in pain
His only thoughts were thame thame and just thame
Why it can't be him hugging thame , why can't he just stare at those doe shaped eyes for hours , why can't he kiss thame’s soft lips
why it had to be po- and not him
His mind was spiralling, he should have been a good friend and been there when thame proposed to po
But all he did was make a mess , he ruined everything
2 hours earlier
It was finally a weekend where Mars had a short break And finally time for the boys to relax
Dylan was happy to spend his own time in the studio , locking himself up
He wanted to disappear in his own misery
“Dylan you need to eat and take of yourself” po said in soft voice passing the plate of sandwich he just made for all members
Dylan just smiled a little , leaving directly without even making eye contact
Jun noticed the behaviour in dylan again
Dylan ignored po to much, what was the reason
“Phi dylan ……why does he not sit with us” lego pouted cutely whining to rest of the members
But none knew the answer at al…l
Later in dylan's room
Thame bragged into Dylan’ room
“Dylan bro, where have you been, I really wanted to talk to you”
Dylan got startled however let thame scout into his bed , like it was soo normal for them to do this
“What is it thame ,..” dylan looked at thame softy
He could never ignore this boy , thame always was able to lure him , he has this charm to him
“Dyl , idk how to explain”
Dylan raised his eyebrows with a questioning look on his face
“What are you trying to say”
“I am going to propose to phi po”
And something inside dylan broke
“I …I am serious, I am going to propose to phi and i wanted you to be the first one to know”
Dylan’s whole body went cold
His first love
His first kiss
His crush was going to propose to his first love And that was not dylan
Thame jumped up , hugging dylan so tight
Dylan was still like a stick figure, he could not reach at all
He tried his best to give a smile on his face
“Umm, that's - awesome thame”
“Cong- congratulations”
He chocked back a sob , Dylan was feeling soo much, it made him want to run away
But he could not
“so when when are you going to propose”
He asked thame in low voice
“At night when everyone is outside together for the barbeque”
“I want whole mars to be there because you guys are my family”
Dylan again tried to smile at thame
He was breaking more from inside
“I am happy for you thame seriously”
Thame hugged Dylan once again
As thame left after all this conversation, dylan chocked back a sob
And went towards his cabinet , he kneeled down , reaching out for the liquor bottle
Because nothing could heal this pain , heartbreak
His first love was going to be of someone else forever
At dinner
The garden was alive with laughter and music, the warm glow of fairy lights casting a dreamy haze over the gathering. Thame sat close to Po, fingers strumming the guitar softly as he stole glances at the older man, his heart pounding with anticipation. The ring box in his pocket felt heavier by the second.
Everyone was out in the garden except dylan
Pepper even invited p’gam
Everything was fun and giggles
Thame sitting besides po , with guitar in his lap
Nano was helping jun in cooking
And pepper and gam were setting the table for the dinner
Nano and Jun were bickering playfully over the grill, while Pepper and Gam clinked glasses, their voices bright with joy. Everything was perfect until the door creaked open.
Dylan stumbled in, his steps unsteady, his eyes glassy. He gripped the fence for balance, his jaw clenched as he fought to keep his composure. The members turned to him, their smiles faltering.
"Ah, Dylan! You made it!" Pepper called, though his voice wavered with concern.
Dylan didn’t answer. He just slumped into the nearest chair, his fingers curling around a half-empty bottle he’d brought with him. His gaze fixed on Thame, who was now tuning his guitar with nervous hands.
Thame cleared his throat, his voice soft but clear.
"I... I have something special to play tonight," he announced, his eyes locking onto Po’s.
The group quieted, sensing the shift in the air. Thame began to sing a sweet, tender melody, one Dylan recognized instantly. It was the same song they’d written together months ago, back when Thame had whispered, "What if one day I asked you to be mine?"
Dylan’s grip on the bottle tightened.
As the last note faded, Thame set the guitar aside and dropped to one knee. The members gasped, their excitement bubbling over all except Dylan, who sat frozen, his breath ragged.
"Po," Thame began, voice trembling, "you’ve been my rock, my joy... my love. Will you—"
“Will you marry me”
And without even a second breath pon kissed him in front of everyone
Dylan was not at all impressed
He was drunk high on emotions
“Was it casual thame” he choked a sob
Everyone looked at dylan , who was particularly crying
“Huh” thame looked at dylan dumb founded
“What are you even saying dyl”
“You tell me thame , was it really casual, between us???”
The shout tore through the night. Dylan was on his feet now, his face twisted in agony. Thame jerked back, startled, the ring still hovering in his hand.
"Was it casual when you took my first kiss?" Dylan’s voice cracked.
"Was it casual when we wrote those love songs together?
When you asked me—asked me—if one day you could be mine?!"
Silence. Horrified, stunned silence.
Po’s eyes widened, his gaze darting between them. The other members looked like they’d been struck.
Thame’s lips parted, but no words came out.
Dylan let out a broken laugh, tears streaming down his face. "And now you’re proposing to him? In front of *me*?
With our song?"
The weight of his outburst crashed down on him. He saw the devastation in Thame’s eyes, the confusion in Po’s, the shock on everyone’s faces.
His chest heaved.
Then he ran.
Dylan didn’t look back as he shoved past the gate, disappearing into the dark, the echoes of his shattered heart trailing behind him.
The party was ruined. The proposal was unfinished.
And Thame was left kneeling, the ring cold in his palm, wondering how everything had gone so wrong.
Dylan ran and ran without looking Back,
he was high on emotions, drunk, he just ruined everything not just for him but Thame and Po too
the only plane he could go back was his own studio at oner
so he went
Dylan’s lungs burned as he staggered through the empty halls of the company building, his vision blurred by tears and alcohol. He didn’t even remember how he got here just the crushing weight of his own words replaying in his skull.
"Was it casual?"
He slammed the studio door shut behind him, collapsing against it before sliding to the floor. The room was dark, but he didn’t bother turning on the lights. The faint glow of equipment LEDs painted the space in ghostly blues and reds just like the nights he and Thame had spent here, lost in music and whispered confessions.
His fingers dug into his hair as a sob ripped through him.
Memories flickered like a broken film reel
Thame’s laughter ringing in his ears as they messed up a take for the tenth time, foreheads pressed together in exasperation.
The way Thame had leaned in, breath warm against Dylan’s lips, before their first kiss soft, hesitant, electric.
Late-night writing sessions, Thame humming melodies into Dylan’s shoulder, fingers tangled in his shirt as he mumbled,
" What if we made a song about us?"
And now?
Now Thame was on one knee for someone else.
Dylan choked on another sob, his body curling in on itself. The studio smelled like them
like sweat and cheap energy drinks and the cologne Thame always wore. It was suffocating.
His gaze landed on the notebook left open on the desk lyrics scribbled in Thame’s messy handwriting, half-finished. Their songs.
And the one Thame had just used to propose to Po.
A broken laugh escaped him.
"I’m such a fool."
His chest ached like his ribs were cracking open. He reached for the bottle he’d dropped, but his hands shook too badly. The room spun, memories and liquor mixing into a nauseating haze.
"Why wasn’t I enough?"
The last thing he saw before darkness swallowed him was Thame’s smile, bright, careless, gone before his body gave out, collapsing onto the cold studio floor.
Back at the house
The garden was eerily silent after Dylan’s outburst. The fairy lights still twinkled, the half-eaten barbecue sat forgotten on the table, and the guitar Thame had been playing lay discarded on the grass. But the air was heavy, suffocating like the moment before a storm.
Thame remained on one knee, the ring trembling in his outstretched hand. His face was pale, lips parted in shock, as if he couldn’t process what had just happened.
Po stood frozen, his expression unreadable. His eyes flickered between the ring and Thame’s face, searching for answers.
Pepper was the first to move. Without a word, he grabbed Gam’s wrist and gently pulled her inside the house, sensing the tension was too raw for outsiders. Nano hesitated, then followed, casting one last worried glance at Thame before disappearing inside.
Jun lingered the longest. He stepped forward, his usual playful demeanor gone, replaced by quiet concern. He squeezed Thame’s shoulder, leaning in to whisper,
"Talk to Po. Figure this out."
Thame didn’t respond. His mind was still replaying Dylan’s words
"Was it casual?"—over and over, like a knife twisting deeper each time.
Jun exhaled sharply, then turned on his heel. "I’m going to find Dylan."
His voice was firm, urgent. He didn’t wait for a response before jogging toward the gate.
This wasn’t like Dylan. Not really. Sure, he was moody, he drank too much sometimes, but he never lashed out like this. Never in front of everyone. And Jun had seen the way Dylan looked at Thame when he thought no one was watching.
He had to find him before things got worse.
Jun didn’t just walk away from the garden—he fled.
His chest burned with something acidic, a feeling he hadn’t let himself name in a year . The sight of Thame kneeling, ring in hand, Po’s stunned face—it was all too familiar.
Because Jun had been here before.
Not with Dylan. Not like this.
But with Po.
Back when Jun was just stubborn and dumber and thought love was something you could earn if you tried hard enough and chased after po even when he knew .
He would never win po’s heart
It was never his
Jun had loved Po first.
Not that it mattered.
Po had never looked at him the way he looked at Thame ,like Thame hung the moon the second he walked into a room. Jun had known, even then, that he was just background noise. But he’d stayed anyway. Stayed, and swallowed every confession, every *what if*, until they rotted inside him.
The day Po chose Thame, Jun had smiled.
(He’d also thrown up in the bathroom afterward, but no one needed to know that.)
And Dylan had been there
He was jun at his weakest , and now it was his turn
To be there for Dylan
Now, sprinting through the streets, Jun’s lungs ached. He didn’t know where Dylan would go, but his feet carried him toward the company building anyway.
Why there?
Because it was Dylan’s safe place.
Their place.
The studio where Thame and Dylan had spent countless nights, writing songs, laughing, stealing glances when they thought no one was watching.
Jun’s stomach twisted.
He shouldn’t care this much.
He and Dylan weren’t close. They bickered, they fought, they pushed each other’s buttons
but that was just for fun, right?
Then why did the thought of Dylan hurting make his hands shake?
When Jun finally burst into the studio, the sight of Dylan broken, drunk, shattered
It hit him like a punch to the gut.
For a second, he couldn’t move.
Because this wasn’t just about Thame.
This wasn’t just about Po.
This was about Dylan.
And the way Jun’s chest ached looking at him.
"Since when?"
Since when had he memorized the way Dylan’s nose scrunched when he laughed? Since when had he noticed the
way Dylan bit his lip when concentrating? Since when had their fights stopped feeling like fights and started feeling like something else?
Jun didn’t know.
But standing there, watching Dylan fall apart, he realized one terrifying thing:
He couldn’t lose him too.