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Gabe wakes up gasping grabbing at his tattered black shirt, he continues to struggle to properly suck in a single breath. His eyes glancing around seeing his room, his hand grips carpet underneath him. He must have fallen asleep on the floor of his bedroom, it seemed to be the middle of the day with light streaming in through his open window. His head was pounding and slowly he lifted himself off of the floor shuttering.
Despite the oversized jacket hanging off his shoulders he felt like it was freezing, he rapped his arms around himself before looking around at his bedroom. Everything looked the way it normally was, his bed was unmade, his posters all hung on their respective walls. His drawers undone spilling out with clothes. That’s when it hit him, some of his things were moved around. His brow frowned as he walked towards his bed, underneath had extra storage bins from things he had been keeping throughout his childhood.
The storage bin was moved out so it could be more easily accessed, and upon closer inspection it seemed like a few items were missing. Nothing crazy just a few pictures, but his frown deepened. If he had been asleep in here how did someone get passed him to take the stuff out, and why would they have wanted to?
He groaned as his head started pounding hard than before, it felt like he couldn’t remember anything from the last day. He couldn’t remember falling asleep, nor when he went to sleep in the first place. Maybe he had been sick? And that’s why he was sleeping in with a massive headache. He breathed out a sigh before opening his bedroom door. The house from what he could hear was deadly quiet, the only one who should be home is his Mom.
Natalie and him had school until later afternoon, and his Dad wouldn’t be getting home until almost dinner time. Hugging himself to fight off the cool he called out. “Mom? Are you awake? And do we have any Advil my head is killing me right now?” He shouted down the stairs. His socks made small muffled noises on the wooden floor stairs as he stepped into the kitchen. The lights seemed to be turned off and nobody appeared to be around, which he thought was odd. His mom had a hybrid job where she worked partly online, but if either him or Natalie were sick shed usually stay home to help them. He shrugged it off, she might have gone somewhere thinking he’d be fine, and he was he was almost 18 he can get his own Advil.
Flicking on the light he started to sort through the cabinet glancing through the various over the counter medications they had on hand. He finally caught sight of the migraine medication, twisting off the child proof capping and grabbing a water cup. He turned the sink on and grabbed a single tablet. He shut the water off and swallowed a large gulp of water with the pill.
It would take upwards of 20 to 30 minutes for the medication to really kick in to cure his headache so he decided to sit in their living room near the front door. Laying across the couch and grabbing the remote control and turning on some mindless TV.
It isn’t until around an hour later that he finally hears a key start to unlock the front door, he glances at the time before the person walks in the house. He assumes it will be his Mom, but it could be Natalie after she gets off the bus. What he sees makes him sit up and hurry off of the couch. Its his Mom, Dad and Nat all walking in together, they wore all black with red faces, like they had been crying.
“Hey what’s going on?” He rushes towards the group in worry, there’s no way he missed a funeral while asleep, could he have? None of them turn to look at him, in fact his Dad looks straight past him at the TV, before commenting. “Did we leave the TV on before leaving?”
Gabe looks at him like he’s crazy before answering. “I turned it on? What do you mean?” He glances at Natalie in confusion, then to his mother. The trio seems to ignore him yet again. “I don’t think I did” His Moms voice was shaky and hoarse when she spoke. He blinked in confusion, stepping out of the way for his Dad to grab the remote and turn off the TV. He looked straight at Natalie, she seemed to be still crying whipping tears onto her black cardigan.
He headed towards her, he never enjoyed people crying around him, he was shit at comforting people but he would try for his little sister. He stood next to her, she didn’t glance him, she never really liked to talk about how she was feeling so this didn’t surprise him. But she always seemed to feel better with some sweets. “Hey Nat, I have some M&ms hidden in my closet, we could watch a movie or something, your choice?” He whispered loud enough for her to overhear, with a small smile. Shed probably make him watch some romancey comedy but he’d deal through the boring plot for her.
His smile faltered when she didn’t respond. He went to give her a little nudge, just bumping at her lightly with his shoulder when he didn’t hit anything. He frowned in confusion, he then reached out an arm to her, and his hand went right through her shoulder.
Its harder to remember past that, he heard his Dad complaining about someone leaving their cup out on the counter. And Nat saying something about Henry, every conversation became like buzzing in his mind. Until he finally heard what hed been dreading, his fathers voice cut like a knife through his racing thoughts.
“Gabe’s dead Diana, he’s not coming back” He said with every bit of seriousness he could, his voice cracking with grief. It was then that everything came together for Gabe, they couldn’t see him, they couldn’t hear him, he couldn’t touch them. Gabe was dead, and had been for a while. He prowled through the kitchen looking at the which held a white board calendar. His birthday was in a month and half away, May 17th, but the calendar held a date of April 13th with a single event written for the date. Just funeral.
Gabe stayed in his room laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling for what felt like hours, it hadn’t even rained on his funeral day. He wondered how it happened, car accident? Unlikely he wasn’t allowed to drive. Doing something stupid with his friends? Maybe but they didn’t seem like the crowd to do something deadly. His mind drifts, killed himself maybe? He hoped not. But he wasn’t quite sure. It explained the last week being gone from his memory. The last thing he remembered was his mother planning his 18th birthday. It felt impossibly long ago. He laid staring at the ceiling eyes filling with tears, mourning his own life.
The next week he felt like a ghost, haunting everything his family did. Natalie was playing piano? He watched her humming along to each of her perfected notes. His mother was cooking. He'd watch the pot from boiling over and letting foam burn the stove top. His Dad was just sitting doing nothing, he’d sit right next to him, feeling alone with his own thoughts. There was no grim reaper, no god telling him how to get to an after life, no magical light at the end of the tunnel. It was just him watching as their lives would slowly go back to normal without him in it.
It happened on a weekday morning, his mother was making lunches for the four of them. He just watched sadly as she set out four slices of bread, then grabbed a knife adding a swipe of mayo on each, then avoiding mustard on Natalie's. Gabe had been getting better with his one sided conversations since he woke up dead. “Its just going to mold like the others, you don’t have to make me lunch you know?” He was watching her, it was hard to watch her struggle to make four meals without crying. But his hand dropped from where it was holding his face up lazily and his eyes widen when his mother whipped up looking directly at him. Not past him, not at someone else, directly at him.
“Gabe…?” Her eyes don’t leave his face for even a second. He smiles the widest toothy grin he thinks he’s ever done. “Mom!” He sits up looking at her expectingly. Tears start to fall out of her eyes as she continues to look at him. He hurries around the counter island wrapping her in a hug, breathing in for what feels like the first time in weeks. He can hear his sobbing lightly rubbing circles into his back through his jacket. “You’re freezing Gabe” She fusses at him still holding him.
He pushes off every thought of confusion and why she might see him, he ignores that for now, all he wants is his Mom. They stay hugging for what feels like forever when he hears shuffling down the stairs. She then pulls away running a hand lightly over his cheek then glancing past him at Natalie who had her school cloths and backpack on. Gabe gave her a huge smile but she doesn’t look at him. His heart drops down to his stomach.
“Mom? Are you alright?” Natalie questions lightly. His Mom gives him a sideways glance before looking back at Natalie with the first happy expression Gabe has seen on her in weeks. His mom reaches out grabbing Natalie's hands. “Gabe’s back! It’s a miracle!” She shouted with joy. Natalie's eyes widen and she opens her mouth before closing it.
His mother glances back at him, and he puts on a small smile for her but something twists in his gut. She drags Natalie over to where he’s standing. “Can you believe it! And he looks completely fine, he just ran off is that right?” She looks at him expectingly, he just nods, but he looks at Natalie and every bit of hope shatters. She looks upset, and sighs. “Mom no one is there, Dads setting up a therapist for you and him to go to this Wednesday, Gabe is still dead, he’s not coming back.” His mothers expression faulters a bit before going back to happy. “He’s here Natalie I know it, he’s only missing.”
Missing? That was news to Gabe, did they not have his body? Could he still be alive? His Mom stood next to him as Natalie finished off the sandwiches, hesitating a bit upon seeing four being made. She was about to throw two into her own lunch when their mother stops her. “Wait that’s Gabe’s, he has to be hungry aren’t you Gabe?” She looked back at him, and all he could do was nod. She smiled putting two of the sandwiches in the fridge.
His Dad called as he headed down the stairs that Natalie needed to hurry for the bus, that seemed to spring her into action to hurry with her lunch. Before heading out the door she pulled aside their father, explaining lightly that Mom was having hallucinations. Gabe watched the front door even after she left for the bus, even after he heard it drive away, even after his father left for work. His Mom gave him a kiss on the forehead before saying she had to get back to her online work. He wandered the house with thoughts running through his head. How could his Mom see him? Was she really having hallucinations? Was he a hallucination? He felt like himself, he remembered things that she shouldn’t be able to know. But a nagging at the back of his mind was whispering that this shouldn’t be possible.
He caught her during her lunch time, he sat on the arm rest of the couch watching her type away on the keyboard. She looked over at him giving him a smile. “Hey honey, how's your day going?” She asked him. He decided to play along, “Its been ok, I've been texting some of my friends.” She closed the laptop after saving her document.
“That’s fun, are you coming up with any fun plans?” He shook his head lightly, he needed to know what happened.
“Mom?”
“Yes dear?”
“What happened to me?”
Her happy face seemed to drop for a second before returning to how it was. “I don’t want to talk about that sweetie, how about I grab our sandwiches.” She suggested, and he didn’t disagree. As she walked into the other room, the question lingered in the back of his mind, how’d he die?
She came back a few minutes later with a water bottle for herself and two foil wrapped sandwiches. She handed one to him, which he grabbed. It seemed like despite being dead there were some things he could do. He could touch things and even eat, but he avoided it like the plague. His family was mourning he didn’t want to cause them to be afraid too. He gently unfolded the foil and bit into the sandwich, it didn’t taste any different than the normal sandwiches he was used to. And yet he knew he couldn’t finish it, hurt too much. He listened as his mother when on and on about how her work was going, and how the days had been going. She avoided talking about how he had been gone and the funeral, and he appreciated it. Felt like an almost normal conversation for a mother and son, if only one wasn’t dead.
Despite his Mom being able to see him he avoided her, he didn’t like the looks he saw his father and Natalie making towards her. It scared him more than he thought it would, because what if she was losing it. Sure he felt real, but to say his mom was seeing the dead ghost of her own son, it sounded like she was losing it.
He had been feeling like a ghost in his own house, now he felt like stranger. Avoiding her whenever Nat or Dad was home for fear they’d see them talking. It sort of worked, he would ‘eat’ his dinner in his room despite the hurt on his mothers face, he’d find ways to hide away while they were home, and would chat with his Mom while they were away. It was working until it wasn’t.
He was perched on the side of Natalie's bed watching over her shoulder as she scrolled through video apps online. It was mind numbing, something he honestly missed. To be able to shut your brain off and let anyone else online talk for minutes to hours about something you probably don’t care about. It let him out of his own thoughts.
A video popped up on her feed, it was super stupid, a little comedy sketch, but Gabe had to admit it got him. He laughed out aloud, while Nat let out a little snort. He moved his eyes back to her phone to keep watching, when he noticed she had paused the video. He stretched himself a bit to get a better look at her face, a bit confused about what the issue had been. When his eye caught hers he knew something was really wrong.
Natalie let out a high pitched scream, immediately falling off her own bed wrapped up in her top sheet and comforter. Gabe's mouth dropped open looking for something to say. “Holy shit Gabe!?” She yelled looking directly at him sitting on her bed.
“You can see me?” He spoke softly moving, to get off her bed, almost like a person trying to keep a scared animal from dashing. She nodded her head dumbly staring at him like it was the first time shed ever seen him.
“You’re alive?” She whispered disbelieving, before Gabe got the chance to respond she jumped up running over to hug him. His arms awkwardly stayed at his side as his sister gave him a huge hug. His eyes stung with tears, it felt real enough, why couldn’t it be?
He shifted and she let him go with tears running down her face. He sucked in a breath and held it there. It would kill her to know he was dead again. He lightly grabbed both her shoulders. Her blond hair was a mess all around, she hadn’t been taking great care of her curls since he had died and it felt like just another thing he ruined for her.
“I’m not alive. I’m sorry Nat.” He spoke clearly looking her straight in the eyes, she always had the palest skin, and the brightest blue eyes. He was so jealous of her eyes in comparison with his plain brown.
“What… what do you mean your right here? How are you not alive?” Her voice shook as she spoke like she might break at any moment. And she might.
“I…” He bit his lip glancing away at her room flooring. “I don’t know, I woke up here right after you guys got back from…” He hesitated again. “from the funeral.” Her brow frowned.
“The funeral was two weeks ago, why didn’t you say anything?” She asked confused. “You couldn’t see me, not you, not Mom, not Dad. I’ve been hovering around all of you since I woke up, and then all the sudden Mom could see me and now somehow you?” His slowly started to descend into a rambling tone rattling off every thought he’s had since waking up.
“I don’t understand it at all, one minute I’m planning my birthday the next I wake up with no memory of how I feel asleep! Then all of you ignore me and I’m apparently dead and a ghost?! I don’t even know how I died let alone why I’m here-“ Natalie shoved her hand over his mouth, his face snapping to look at her again.
Her expression was one of complete focus, something she only seemed to get when working on her music. “You woke up, where exactly?” She questioned removing her hand from his mouth.
“My bedroom on the floor.”
“Show me”
The pair headed one door over to his room, dust started to collect on his bed side table and dresser, he ignored that and sat on the carpet before laying down completely. He stared up at the ceiling light, which for the first time in weeks was turned on to a bright yellow color.
“And you woke up just like this?” She questioned.
“Yup”
“And you don’t remember anything at all?”
“Nope”
She sat with her legs crossed next to him on the floor, it seemed like she was deep in her thoughts when he dragged her out.
“How’d I die?” He had to know.
“I knew you were going to ask that.” She said it like she dreaded this moment. He sat up sitting directly across from her with his legs crossed too.
“I have to know, what happened.” She looked towards his closet, which had two large mirror sliding doors. Looking back at her was just herself, no boy in a gray jacket with dark brown hair.
“We don’t know.”
“What?”
“You were considered missing for two weeks before being pronounced dead, nobody knows what happened, other than maybe… you?” She looked away at the mirror back at his eyes, her face held hope, hope that she might get closure.
His face fell. “What’s the guess.” He says it but deep inside he already knows he just wants her to say it. She looks down at her fidgeting hands before answering softly.
“We…well I- er- its assumed you drowned in the nearby lake, but I thought you might have…” She trailed off looking for the words to say. She didn’t need to say it he heard all he needed to.
“killed myself” Her face flipped up at him sadness in her eyes.
“Did you?”
“I don’t know”
“Are you real?”
“I don’t know”
“Am I losing it like Mom is?”
“I don’t know”
He looked at her again, at the bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep she had been getting from crying herself to sleep each night. “You should sleep.” She nodded and he helped her to her room and bed, he carefully shut the door behind himself before leaning against the wall sliding down.
Could he really be the cause of all of this, was he really that selfish. And with no one to hear for the first time in two weeks, he broke down outside of his sister’s bedroom.
“You’re freezing to touch” Natalie commented, they were in her bedroom yet again. She acted like every little thing he knew or did was a clue, a sign of why this was happening.
“You get used to it” He said as she held out his arm looking closely at his skin. He looked almost entirely the same as the day he disappeared, even wearing the same clothes. She hummed writing something in her notebook. It had a logo for the debate club at their high school, one she presumably got for free from their schools club day.
“We know a lot, and yet still so little.” While she flipped through her notes, he was looking through the stuff in her bedroom, on top of her short dresser held her record player and some of the records she had gotten over the years. Some were beat up almost beyond repair from thrift stores, and some brand new barely used from holidays and birthdays. He smiled at the one he had gotten her, he picked up a few extra odd jobs just to get her the limited edition version. It was still in the plastic sleeve it came it yet to be opened despite it being months old.
As Gabe went to grab the record, something shifted and the sound of something rattling was heard, he glanced over his shoulder at Natalie who still seemed engrossed in her school laptop and notebook. He carefully moved the record looking for what had made the rattling sound, that’s when it caught his eye. A pill bottle.
Thoughts were racing through his head as he quickly grabbed it read the label, praying for something that a basic pain killer, or something to get through a migraine. Shit. It wasn’t some basic pain killer, it was something so she could drugged off her ass. No no no, he can not be dealing with this too again.
“Natalie!” He shouted at her.
She flipped around look at him concerned before her eyes landed on what was in his hand.
“What the hell, you stopped! You were getting better, why the hell are you taking this shit again.” He practically screamed at her. She looked at him like a deer caught in headlights. It felt like hours before she finally spoke.
“I…I’m sorry…I didn’t want to relapse” She said mournfully. But Gabe was still so pissed, they had been working for months on getting her off her addiction after Henry had to take her to the hospital after almost overdosing. He couldn’t lose her, he just couldn’t.
“You can’t just start drugging yourself again when school starts to get hard again!” he retaliated.
She paused with a pissed off expression on her face. “You think I started taking them again, what because of school?” He didn’t know what to say so he just stared at her.
“I started taking them again because my brother died! And I don’t know how to deal with the fact that he’s gone forever! I even keep fucking imagining him talking to me, he’s even berating me about taking drugs again.” She dissolved into sobs as Gabe dropped the bottle on the ground.
“Ill leave you alone.” He whispered before rushing out of her bedroom, his feet pounding beneath him, he couldn’t let her find him. His bedroom would be too obvious, and he hated tight spaces. He settled for sneaking into his parents’ room. He heard her call out his name once, but only once.
His breathing was ragged and he grabbed at his shirt hoping to be able to catch it again. A loud thump was heard from behind him as he flipped around catching the face of his father staring at him. Shit.
It was weird with his Dad, he knew he wasn’t the type to have the same issues as Natalie had or Mom had. Mom was bipolar diagnosed shortly after he was born, but she took medication to keep an manic episodes under control, it had been working for years. Despite it worked she still complained of hallucinations, the doctors said it was normal and gave her ways of dealing with them. The most she delt with on a regular basis was auditory which was very manageable.
Natalie had past drug issues, she started to take stimulants to focus better but it keep going until she was fully addicted. On bad days Henry would help her out his car, and Gabe would bring her too her room. She would be out of her mind, hallucinating and completely carefree. He was there for her to hold her hair and a trash can for her to vomit into. He would drive her to her regular therapy appointments waiting in the car. At times when Henry couldn’t he be the one showing up with a fake ID to pull her out a club she shouldn’t have been able to get into from the start.
But his father wasn’t like them, he didn’t have mental health issues. He was one of the most stable people in their household. So Gabe slid next to him as he turned on the TV to a baseball game and didn’t speak. He laid next to him watching the TV in his parents bedroom silently. That is until his Dad broke the silence.
“Are you really here?” It was a simple question one in which Gabe couldn’t answer. Not properly at least.
“I don’t know, I’m to some extent not real, but it seems like everyone can see me.” His father gave a nod to that.
“I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye.” His voice cracked near the end.
“Nobody did, I’m sorry for running off.” Gabe said watching his fathers eyes never leave the TV.
“It was my fault”
“What?”
“We were arguing, and he- you ran out I thought you were just going to blow off steam, I never expected that to be the last time I saw you.”
Gabe didn’t know what to say, he didn’t remember this at all. He didn’t remember them fighting or where he went after or what they had been fighting about. He scooted closer on the bed to his father. Leaning his head on his Dads shoulder staring out at the baseball game again.
“I forgive you” He spoke quietly. That was all it took for his Dad to break. Gabe sat next to him as he cried.
Maybe this was why he was here, it was to give his family closure.
Natalie was asleep in her bed, Gabe could hear her white noise machine in the corner of her room blasting. He sighed grabbing the pill bottle and shoving it in his pocket before going to her desk covered in papers. The notebook lie on the top of the papers, he grabbed it and a pencil. Writing down a message before tearing out the page leaving it on top of everything.
He crept into the kitchen at the late hour with another note written, leaving it on the island for his mother to find tomorrow morning, but by then he would be long gone.
His family didn’t think they got the chance to say goodbye, but they said more than enough. He was ready to move on.
“You cant be serious Gabe!” Dan yelled at his son. Who was tugging on his gray jacket before glaring back at Dan.
“I’m just applying there no guarantee Ill even get in.” He rolled his eyes grabbing out vegetables from the fridge.
“It’s out of state, you can not seriously think your mother and I would be ok with you moving out of state for college.” Dan said.
“It’s a good thing it’s not your choice than, its mine. I’m turning 18 in less than 2 months.” Gabe was reaching to grab the cutting board from the cabinet.
“Fine let’s say you get in how the hell would you even pay for this school.” Dan argued back.
“I’m applying for scholarships, I have good grades. It’s likely I get at least a few.” He started to wash the carrots before moving them to the cutting board.
“There's no way in hell I will agree to this.” Gabe turned to glare at his father.
“If you think you can just go to another state to avoid your family, your wrong Gabe.” Dan said in a more serious tone. Gabe rolled his eyes crossing his arms glaring.
“I won’t let you move to another state, your already unstable as it is.” Dan said before immediately regretting what came out of his mouth.
“Unstable?!” Gabe yelled. “You think that me leaving for college is me trying to kill myself?” He asked in a rhetorical way. But the look in his dads eyes told him all he needed to know.
“Fuck you! I’m perfectly stable enough to live by myself!” Gabe glanced at the vegetables he was about to cut before clawing at his scalp. He hurried to the front door and ran out of it, his father’s voice carried down the street as he ran.
He just needed to get out and get away from it all. From his overbearing mother who seems to think she knows exactly who he was meant to be. From his sister, who was struggling mentally just as much as he was. From his father who looks at him like he's a risk to everyone around him. He just needed to go for a walk.
It was dark out a little cold, he was grateful for the jacket, and kicked a rock as he walked. It made a clattering sound each time he kicked it. He wished he had brought his phone with him. He had left it up stairs in his room to charge while starting dinner for the night.
He heard cars rushing past him as he continued down the sidewalk, seeing the lights from the cars as they passed. It was almost therapeutic, just the sounds of a whooshing past him. It was a nice night, a slight chill with a full set of stars.
He turned upon hearing something new, something different almost like a car trying to stop too fast. Although that didn’t make sense he didn’t see any headlights. But turning around he saw it too late, in the dim street lights a car coming right towards him. One with broken headlights, that likely shouldn’t be driving at night.
There was a loud cracking sound when the car hit him, the last thing he remembered was his head smacking the concrete hard.
He woke up to the sound of whispered voices around him. He couldn’t make out what any one person was saying but he heard two or three voices around. Opening his eyes felt like the hardest thing hed ever done, it took a few flutters before he started to get a clear image. The voice seemed to pick up, his eyes didn’t feel like they were working properly. Everything felt extremely hazy, his head turned to the side of the pillow he was laying on. He blinked slowly looking up at a heart monitor and a doctor standing over it.
That was all he saw before his eyes shut again.
The next time he woke up, he woke up properly. With a dry mouth and no voices around. He blinked bringing up his hand to rub his eyes. The heart monitor beeping in a steady rhythm. He sat up, shifting his arm with an iv in it. His right arm ached, and he moved the sheet that had been put over him to look at it.
It was covered in a light gray cast up to his elbow. He frowned before looking around the room properly. It looked like any other hospital would, he didn’t seem to be sharing a room with anyone and the lights had been dimmed. A clock hung on the wall in front of him and he looked at the time. 3:43, it wasn’t analog, but he guessed it was early in the morning.
On his bed side he saw a little flashing red button, it had the word call glowing in the center. With his right hand he reached out and hit the button leaning back against the sort of headboard. He reached up to feel around his face, it seemed like he had a bandage around his skull, and one on his eyebrow. Nothing hurt necessarily but it ached and was sore.
It wasn’t long before a doctor opened the door before softly shutting it behind him. Gabe watched him silently.
“I am Dr. Madden, do want to have the light on brighter?” He spoke in a soft tone. Gabe nodded his head as Madden reached for the lights turning them up brighter. Gabe suspected that he didn’t fully turn them on but didn’t comment on it.
Dr. Madden went to the edge of his bedside grabbing a clipboard, before slowly and carefully heading closer to Gabe who still watched on silent.
“Would you like to be briefed on what has happened?” Gabe gave a silent nod.
“April 4th you were brought by ambulance to the Indiana general hospital, where you received treatment for a broken arm and various other lacerations, after being struck by a car. Unfortunately despite treatment you had yet to wake up until 3 weeks later, April 30th. It didn’t appear you had any brain damage and you could sustain life on your own so you’ve been here since. Yesterday you woke up for the first time, and now you seem to be fully coherent.” Gabe stared at the doctor for a while processing all of the information he was told, he remembered running out of the house after fighting with his Dad, and walking alone the sidewalk. But nothing about being hit by a car.
“What about my family?” Gabe’s voice cracked and was raw after none use, but he felt exhausted despite having slept for three weeks. If you can count being in a coma as being asleep. He just wanted to curl up on his bed and sleep the rest of the night away, in his own room, in his own house.
Dr. Madden glanced down turning a page on his chart. “We don’t have any emergency contacts written for you, there was no form of ID nor a cellphone. I assume your family is still unaware you are here. You have been named our John Doe until you woke up.” Gabe nodded.
“Can I…Can I have a phone to call my parents, and maybe a glass of water.” Dr. Madden for the first time since walking in the room gave him a smile.
“I will come back with a glass of water, and the phone on the bed side works for in hospital calls and out, just hit the hashtag symbol before typing in the number. I will be back in a few moments.”
Gabe looked over at the phone that was sitting there, he pulled his knees up to this face resting it there. It was 4 in the morning, seemed like a rude time to call. But he also wanted them to know he was alright.
He reached for the phone hitting the hashtag at the bottom of the number pad then typing his mothers phone number. The phone rang, once, twice, three times, the fourth time he heard a tired voice ask who was calling. Her smiled to himself.
“Hey Mom, its Gabe…I’m at the hospital right now I know you have work tomorrow and all but it would be nice to see-“ He got cut off before he could finish with his mothers voice frantically asking questions. He heard his fathers voice in the background making mumbled words.
It took a few minutes for them to seemingly figure out how to properly ask but “Which hospital?” Gabe recited what the doctor had told him.
“Well be there in less than an hour” It was his fathers voice this time, and Gabe gave a agreement sound. Then the phone was pasted back to his mother who said. “I love you well be there soon bye.”
“Bye. I love you too” He heard the phone hangup making a loud buzzing sound in his ear.
Time seemed to pass by quickly, Dr. Madden came back with a Styrofoam cup of water and said he would be back when Gabe’s parents arrived. Gabe laid back down head hitting the pillow staring out at nothing. Something felt like it was tugging on the back of his head, like he was forgetting something. Not just the moment he was hit but something more, like a weeks worth of memories all gone in flash.
Soon enough his family arrived, they looked a bit worse for wear. Natalie had bags under her eyes and her hair was a frizzy mess. His mother looked happy but exhausted. And his father held some form of guilt in his eyes.
But each gave them a huge hug once they saw him, telling him sweet nothings and how much they missed him. Soon enough Dr. Madden came back and both his parents stepped outside to be able to talk. Natalie laid on the bed with him squishing against his casted arm.
She had wrote her name in cursive lettering along his cast, the doctor said he would have to wear it for 2 more months but he would get it off just in time for school starting again.
“I collected your homework while you were gone.” She said looking up at the ceiling tiles. “Still got three weeks left, all the teachers seem to be understanding that you would still be able to graduate on time.”
“That’s good, would not have wanted to do high school for another year.” He said plainly.
“I missed you.” She said, it held so much more emotion than Gabe knew what to do with, sure he had lost her almost once. But she was only almost dead in his mind for a day, three weeks was a long time to grieve a person.
“I would say I missed you too, but for me its only been like 2 hours since I’ve seen you.” He joked. She gave a small snort.
“it’s weird despite knowing what happened, it still feels like your not real and that Ill wake up to you still being gone.” She spoke sadly.
“Nah I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, your gonna be stuck with me for at least a few decades.” He shoved her lightly as they both laughed.
It was two days later before Gabe was discharged from the hospital and drove home. Natalie had brought some of the homework he’d missed from the last few weeks and he had started some of it. He laid his head against the window watching trees move past, it felt nice to be out of a sterilized environment, and he missed his bed a lot. His Dad drove him silently, it had been weird after that night when he woke up. Everything felt more fragile than it was, like everyone was hovering over him like he’d keel over at any second. It was annoying but he understood where they were coming from.
They pulled into the drive way and Gabe moved his arm to be able to open the passenger side door. He saw his dad grabbing the few things they were given at the hospital, just basic prescription stuff to fight off the pain of his arm being broken in two. He opened the door quietly to avoid disturbing his Mom before heading up the stairs into his room. Natalie had last said he might need to dust a bit when he got back, so he went to their cleaning closet and grabbed a random small rag. He ran some cold water under it from the siblings shared bathroom and headed to his room.
It looked the same as he had left it, same old posters, same old bed sheets, same old closet. Other than the fact that one of the storage bins under his bed had been moved and opened. He didn’t care enough to look through it to see if anything was taken so he topped the lid on it and slid it back into place. He started with the window blinds which he hadn’t dusted in a few months anyways. Then to his dresser, then the head boards of his bed, and finally his nightstand. He made a face seeing an old cup that he had left to clean out after school three weeks ago. He thanked whatever being from above that it was just filled with water. Rancid milk would have sucked.
Something orange caught his eye, it was next to his headphones that he left on the nightstand. He reached out with his good hand to grab it. While grabbing it, it made a rattling sound.
A pill bottle, he flipped it over to read the bottle. His eyes widen and mouth dropped. It was the drugs that Natalie had been taking a year ago before she had gotten clean.
He dropped the bottle grabbing at his head, pulling lightly on his hair. His head felt like it was pounding, being reminded of the last two weeks. Of waking up dead, of talking with his Mom, of talking with Natalie, of laying with his Dad. Of taking Natalies drugs when he found them, of leaving them on his nightstand, of writing letters of goodbye to each of them. He remembered everything.
“Holy shit” Was his only response.
He rushed over to Natalie's room, knocking harshly on her door, she opened it blinking up at him in confusion.
He pulled her into a hug, it takes a second for her to reach her hands up and hug him back mostly seeming in confusion. He felt tears prickle in his eyes whispering into her ear. “I remember. I’m so sorry.” He could feel her grip the back of his shirt a little tighter.