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It was the Wizard’s fault. It was all because of him.
Resenting her entire paternal line wasn’t something that was new to Elphaba, she had hated her false father as well. It was only now that she had come to appreciate him in some small way.
Governor Thropp may have treated her like a monster, but what her real father had done to her was much worse.
“He made me a monster! Why does he just get to get away with that?!” Elphaba growled. And it was fitting. She was already a beast, so why not behave like one?
Glinda paused, hand frozen in the air. “Y-you’re not a monster, Elphie…” she whispered. And yet, her hand remained suspended between them. Scared to go any further. As if Elphaba’s touch alone would burn her. And maybe it would.
Gripping even tighter to the little green bottle, Elphaba spun until her back was to Glinda. Maybe water would kill her, if the sting of her tears were any true indication.
Though she felt Glinda’s presence very strong, she yearned for the other woman’s touch even more. What was she scared of?! Could she also truly believe that Elphaba was a monster despite her words?!
“Why… why won’t you touch me…”
Despite her many powers and abilities, Elphaba still couldn’t figure out how to stop her voice from betraying her.
Glinda took in a sharp breath. Elphaba’s heart sank. She had been right about everything, but she desperately didn’t want this to follow the pattern. With all her heart, she longed to be wrong about Glinda truly being terrified of her all along.
“Elphaba… Elphie… it’s been years. I don’t think you’re a monster… in fact, it’s the opposite. I- I think you’re an angel. I think… no, I know that you saved me. You saved me and now… now I’m scared that if I touch you, I won’t be able to hold back from everything I’ve kept all this time.”
Elphaba watched as Glinda slowly dropped to the ground, her gown pillowing around her almost gracefully. It reminded her that Glinda always hated gowns and the way they swallowed her. Maybe she had been just as trapped as Elphaba was.
“You’ve touch me before.” Somehow, Elphaba had been able to keep her voice steady.
“Never in the way I’ve wanted to.” Despite her years of training, Glinda wasn’t able to keep up that same composure.
Elphaba’s grip tightened on the broom that she treasured. Her constant companion. A memory of her last day with Glinda, the last bit of magic the two had done together. The same broom that Glinda refused to join her one. As Elphaba watched Glinda now, she let the broom drop.
“I’m here now, my sweet, I’m here.”
Before she knew what she was doing, Elphaba wiped Glinda’s tears. The pang in her chest was almost nostalgic, but that was too romantic of a word.
“You’re not a monster, Elphie, you’re the farthest thing from it.”
Now Glinda was finally touching her. It was as soft as Elphaba remembered. Still, nostalgia was much too romantic of a feeling.
“He’s gone, Glinda. I want to punish him and he’s gone.”
“So what, you take his punishment instead?! Elphie please, for once stop torturing yourself. Please let yourself be happy. Please can’t we just… won’t we ever finish what we started…”
The tears were gone now, but Elphaba still let her hands hold Glinda’s face. It was reminiscent of a simpler time. Their time together on the way to the Emerald City. Maybe the only time Elphaba has ever known peace.
Still, she wouldn’t allow herself to reminisce. Despite what the songs and war stories would have you believe, there’s nothing romantic about a revolution.
“Elphaba, please. Elphie stay. Stay with me please, I love you.”
There had once been a time when Elphaba would have accepted her plea. She may have even welcomed it. She may have give in to the desperation of the woman in from of her. But the nostalgia was much more romantic than the two of them ever allowed themselves to be. It was a false feeling, a trick. And Elphaba was done being tricked.
“I’m so sorry, Glinda. I’m sorry that you fell in love with a wicked green beast.”