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It’s only been one night since they got back from the cavern, and Lloyd had spent most of the last day unconscious, so Kai is still reasonably apprehensive as he goes to check on their youngest teammate in the back of the ship.
Sensei Wu had done a full medical evaluation once they’d gotten Lloyd back here in the first place, and Kai would be lying if he said he hadn’t been holding his breath the whole time. It’s not that he didn’t have faith in Lloyd’s strength – he’d seen the boy in action, after all – but he’d also seen the way the kid had crumpled out of Morro’s grasp the day before, how his green eyes had been fuzzy, and so when Wu had finally nodded and given them the ‘all clear’, Kai had just about collapsed himself with relief.
Still, Lloyd has been recovering not only from the physical strain, but also from whatever the hell Morro had put him through mentally. And that was a rabbit hole that Kai didn’t particularly want to think about.
Just one more reason to get his hands on that stupid ghost, even if he can’t – well – really get his hands on him - on account of the ghost thing.
He’s going to make Morro pay for this – even if Lloyd is fine – because the last two weeks have been pure hell with the kid missing, and Kai is owed some recompense for going out of his mind with worry.
But plans of vengeance can come later, and he tries to shake all thoughts of Morro out of his head as he makes his way towards the last bedroom on the right – a crewmate’s quarters that had officially become Lloyd’s just a few days after he’d joined the team. They’d painted the door green and everything for him.
Kai smiles, thinking about the look on the kid’s face when they’d first shown him – how young he’d been (how young he still is) and suddenly he’s upset all over again, guilt dropping like a stone in his chest. How could he have let this happen? He’d made a promise to protect this kid, and all he’s done is failed again and again.
He takes a deep breath, trying to focus on the gentle rocking of the ship as it moves through the air, and reminds himself that there will be time for all this later. Right now he’s got Lloyd here, more or less in one piece, and he’s going to make damn sure that he never slips away again.
He knocks once on the door and is answered by a brisk “come in”, though Lloyd’s voice is still a bit hoarse from disuse. He pushes the green door against its hinges and steps inside, noticing immediately how warm the air is. Lloyd must have turned his thermostat up as high as it will go – despite Sensei Wu’s lectures on saving energy – but regardless of the heat the younger ninja is still completely bundled up in blankets, in bed with the comforter pulled up over his head.
His blond hair is a mess, sticking up like a toddler’s might after a nap, and despite everything Kai finds himself smiling.
“Sorry,” he says easily, coming over to sit beside Lloyd on the bed. He makes a point not to steal any of the covers. “Did I wake you up?”
Lloyd shakes his head and smiles back, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Nah,” he says, and despite his light tone, Kai can hear a tremor of something underneath it. Lloyd reaches up a hand and rubs at his eyes, “I haven’t been able to sleep.”
Something fierce and protective stirs in Kai’s chest, as sharp as his fire feels when he calls on it, and he forces it down immediately, trying to hold himself back from pulling the kid into a hug right here and now.
Exhaustion, weakness, fear. That’s what he’s heard in Lloyd’s voice over the last 24 hours, during the brief times when’d he’d been lucid enough to talk with them. There’d been fear in his eyes back in the caves too – something desperate, child-like, and once again Kai is reminded of the fact that the boy before him is a kid – thrust into older responsibilities far too soon and far too complicated.
I’ll kill Morro for this. And the ghost is already dead, but he’ll find a way.
But he can’t voice any of this to the ninja before him, so instead he shrugs sympathetically, puts a hand on Lloyd’s shoulder. “You slept enough yesterday to make up for it.”
Unresponsive, not asleep, his mind supplies, and again he silences it. Lloyd had practically been in a coma, but that’s not going to make any difference to him now.
Lloyd just nods along, gives that same empty smile, and then rolls his eyes. “Are you just here to bug me, Kai? Or did you need something?”
Kai thinks for a minute about what to say before settling on the truth, “I wanted to check up on you. Make sure you’re okay.”
Lloyd nods again. “I’m fine.”
Kai clicks his tongue, tries again for a reassuring smile though part of him wants to strangle the kid. That’s his answer for everything. “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.” They’ll have to put it on his tombstone.
And that thought is also unappealing in Kai’s current mindset, so he winces and shakes it away.
“I know,” he says, punching Lloyd on the shoulder the way he would with one of his older teammates, “But you’ve been in here all day. You didn’t even come out for dinner, and Sensei made Pad Thai.” He raises an eyebrow imploringly, “You love Pad Thai.”
Lloyd grins, but once again it’s shuttered, not quite reaching his eyes. Kai thinks of Morro’s twisted smirk on Lloyd’s face, and feels a little nauseous.
“I wasn’t hungry.” Lloyd mutters, and yeah – Kai gets that. He’s not been hungry either.
But unlike Lloyd, Kai has forced himself to eat over the last two weeks, keeping up his stamina so that they could relentlessly pursue Morro and his ghosts. He has no idea if Morro had even fed Lloyd – though presumably he had to – or what kind of conditions he’d been living in when possessed by someone who had planned to just throw his body away when done with it.
He swallows back bile and finds he’s exhausted all over again just thinking about it. None of them have any idea what Lloyd’s been through the past two weeks. They don’t know what he’d been forced to do physically, or what he’d been aware of with Morro in the forefront of his brain. Even if he comes out of this and gets his physical strength back, there’s no telling what kind of mental trauma will stay with him.
“Lloyd,” Kai starts, no longer able to maintain his usual levity, “Tell me the truth.”
Lloyd raises his eyebrows, the picture of innocent confusion, but Kai knows him better than that. “Tell me what happened,” he presses, “I know you remember, because otherwise you would have said so already.”
He can visibly see Lloyd’s throat bob as he swallows, and once again he’s struck with a sense of guilt; maybe he shouldn’t be pushing so hard. There’s a reason the others have given the kid some space, and there’s a reason Kai hadn’t told them about his plans to confront him. He can hear Cole berating him right now – statements about needing time and caution along with scientific facts about PTSD.
Those four letters taste bitter on his tongue and he’s refused to even engage in the conversation. And, yeah, he gets that Lloyd might need time – but Kai himself can’t take any freaking more of it. He waited for two weeks to get this kid back, and the silence now is unnerving, to say the least.
Lloyd drops his gaze, green eyes suddenly focused intently on a spot on the blanket, and shrugs again. “I only remember bits and pieces, honestly.”
“Okay.” Kai concedes, once again fighting back the urge to pull the boy into a hug. Lloyd needs more than a pat on the back right now, possibly more than Kai could ever hope to fix, and it makes him hate himself all over again. He wonders how Garmadon had ever turned his back on this child, how anyone could look at Lloyd and even consider letting him down. But Kai had let him down worst of all, and now they were facing the consequences.
Once again he has to pull himself away from those thoughts. Beating himself up won’t help Lloyd now, and anyways, he still needs answers. “What do you remember?” He asks, trying to be gentle. “Any idea where Morro’s set up his base?”
It’s a low blow – asking Lloyd for mission-related information – but it’s also something he knows the kid will answer.
The younger ninja scowls for a moment, mouth twisted in thought. “I think so,” he says, “But I couldn’t lead us there if I tried. He’s got some kind of portal – a way to get between the realm of the living and the dead. He’s trying to make it so that anyone can pass through.”
Kai nods encouragingly – it’s not really the info he was looking for but maybe it’s helpful, especially if they intend to foil Morro’s plots before they come to fruition. “How’s he plan to do it?”
Lloyd frowns again, and all of a sudden something in his face shifts, and he blinks as if he’s in pain. “I-” he hisses in a breath through his teeth, and it shudders on the way out, “I, uh-”
“Hey,” Kai stops him, puts a hand on his arm and tries to ignore the fact that he can feel the boy trembling. “It’s okay. Don’t push yourself, I’m sure your memory will come back in time.”
But Lloyd just winces and shakes his head, and his bottom lip wobbles once, and Kai regrets every decision he’s ever made in his life – because he’s never seen Lloyd cry and he never wants to, and he knows now why Cole is the leader of the group and Kai is just the brawn. He should never have come in here if he’s just going to cause the kid more pain.
“No, uh-” Lloyd starts again, and his voice is steady even though he’s blinking back tears, “It’s not that. He wanted me. He’d use my powers to try to open the gate. He, um,” He swallows, and so does Kai, trying to breathe through sudden pain that is as blinding as any physical hit he’s taken in combat.
“He had me summon some of the other ghosts, using my power,” Lloyd continues, “And then he’d just let them go, and I’d…”
He trails off, looking down, hands clenched against the edge of his green comforter, and Kai is no longer inclined to hold himself back. He wraps a hand around the back of Lloyd’s neck, pulls him forward until the kid’s head comes to rest on his shoulder.
Lloyd tenses, immediately trying to push away, but Kai just bumps their heads together, holds on to him until he feels him settle down. “It’s okay, kid,” he says, and he’s thankful that his voice is much steadier than he feels. Lloyd needs at least one person to have their stuff together right now, and that’s arguably never been Kai’s strong suite, but he’s sure as hell going to try. “You did good.”
Lloyd takes another ragged breath, and he pulls back before Kai can stop him, shaking himself out of his cocoon of blankets. “No I didn’t!” He hisses, and the tears are falling now, and he brings a hand up to his mouth and stifles a sob. “I let all those ghosts out and they hurt innocent people. Morro used me to hurt them, and I couldn’t even slow him down. I-I failed.”
He drops his gaze and his shoulders shake, and Kai just sits there and watches him, feeling as useless as he’s ever been – hopelessly out of his element and wishing that someone was here for him to punch. (Morro, specifically, but he’ll address that later).
“Lloyd,” he tries, after a moment of making sure he’s going to be able to speak past the lump of grief in his throat, “You didn’t fail. Alright, listen to me.” And he waits for a minute until the boy looks up at him, green eyes dull and wet, and he knows that he’s not the best person to make this speech but he’s the only one here. “You fought like hell.” He says, and he lets some of the emotions of the previous week bleed into his tone, because maybe Lloyd does need to hear it. “I know because Morro couldn’t hold on to you. You did slow him down, and you did so more than anyone else could have hoped to.”
Lloyd shakes his head again, opens his mouth to say something, but Kai cuts him off, “You’re strong, kid. You’re stronger than him or you wouldn’t be here. None of us could have done that,” he scoffs, giving a half-hearted shrug, “Not even me.”
Lloyd still seems shaky but he meets Kai’s eyes now, and he’s got just the shadow of his usual smile. “Come on, Kai,” he mutters, “You’re stronger than me. We both know it.”
And it’s an argument they’ve had before but never on these terms. But at least it’s familiar territory. He taps Lloyd in the center of his forehead, once, pushing his blond hair back just for a moment. “Not in here.”
Lloyd shoves his arm away, but he is smiling now, and he pushes Kai on the shoulder with a fraction of his usual strength, “Don’t let the others hear you talking like that, you’ll never live it down.”
Kai grins, because now Lloyd is starting to sound more like himself, and it’s the best thing that he’s heard in weeks. For a while, he’d thought he’d never get to argue with this kid again. “You tell them and I’ll deny it.”
“Yeah okay,” Lloyd sniggers, disbelieving, “Now get a move on. I’m still sick, you know, so you have to bring me some Pad Thai.”
Kai feigns indignation, “Get it yourself!”
“No, you jerk – I’ve been on bedrest.”
“All the more reason for you to exercise!” Kai yells with over-enthusiasm, yanking on Lloyd’s jacket sleeve until they both fall over off the side of the bed. He’s up and running before the kid can even yell after him.
“Kai! Stay the hell out of my room!”