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Rain was confident in who he was. He was no stranger to confusion a lot of the time, his brain working extra compared to other people who could process things easier, but he usually got there even if it took a little extra effort. But one place that Rain was never confused about was who he was. Even when he figured out that he was in fact gay, it wasn’t a long, grueling process. He was straight one moment, and then the next he decided that he was going to be with Phayu, and that obviously meant that he liked men. End of story.
Even so, it didn’t change the fact that he felt a little… behind.
Phayu knew that he was bi since he was twelve, even though he said he pretty much knew his whole life. Twelve was when he discovered that there was a word for it and was able to properly come out for the first time. Like Phayu, Sky always knew that he was gay, he just didn’t put a thought to it until he was fourteen. The first time he considered his sexuality, Sky didn’t even need to take a minute to think, he just knew that he liked men. Prapai didn’t always know that he was pansexual, but he ‘experimented’ in high school and college. He didn’t want a label for the longest time, but being the one in their little group with the most sexual experience, Prapai had practically done it all with every gender imaginable.
Before Phayu, Rain thought he was straight as a board. He was obviously quite wrong, realizing that he didn’t actually like women after he and Phayu had sex for the first time, but before that he thought for sure that he did. Sex with women wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t mind-blowing like it was with Phayu. Women were pretty, but Rain no longer felt the urge to kiss them – he really just wanted to compliment their hair and tell them their outfits looked pretty.
Everyone knew for the longest time, they all had experience before ending up in their current relationships, except for Rain.
“You know, this is my first gay relationship,” he said to Phayu one morning as they were laying in bed.
“It is,” Phayu hummed. “How exciting.”
His voice was soft; sarcastic-sounding to anyone but Phayu’s closest people. Rain knew he meant it.
“It is exciting.” Rain pursed his lips. “It’s crazy that I just didn’t know before.”
“It’s okay. Sexuality is fluid. It’s okay if you are attracted to the opposite gender again someday. As long as you don’t leave me for a woman,” Phayu teased, making Rain shake his head against his bare chest.
“Never.”
It wasn’t a huge deal that he never experimented more when he was younger. It never crossed his mind to do it when he was single, so it sure as hell wasn’t going to when he was in a relationship. It just felt… odd, knowing that he was the only one who didn’t know.
“May is almost over,” Sky said one day while they were hanging out.
That confused Rain. Sky never announced when the months were coming to a close. “Yeah?”
“That means June is coming,” he continued, raising his eyebrows like he was pushing Rain to an answer that he was absolutely not finding.
“That’s how the months work, Sky,” Rain said, now even more confused.
“Pride month, Rain.”
“Oh.”
He knew that. He just never had a reason to celebrate it himself before.
“Are you and P’Phayu doing anything? P’Pai wants to go to one of the parades.”
Phayu hadn’t brought anything up, so Rain shook his head. “I don’t think so. Should we be doing something?” His voice dripped with concern, unsure if it was an unspoken rule amongst all gay couples to go to Pride every year.
Sky chuckled. “No, it’s okay if you don’t want to, I was just wondering. If you do, though, we should all go together.”
Rain tilted his head to the side, considering it. “Have you ever been before?”
“The first year I moved here, yeah. It was fun. Lots of people, though, and it was super loud. But everyone is really nice and very considerate.”
Rain made a mental note to talk to Phayu about it. And then promptly forgot that he made that mental note, but it didn’t matter because Phayu brought it up the following day. Rain really did want to go, and he told Phayu just that.
June 1st, they planned to meet at his and Phayu’s house for breakfast before heading into the heart of the city and finding a festival to attend. Prapai and Phayu took care of all the technicalities while Rain and Sky got to do the fun stuff. Coordinating outfits.
He awoke on the first of the month with a giddiness bubbling under his skin, one that he hadn’t felt since he was a kid on Christmas waiting to see what presents he got.
“It’s my first pride month in a gay relationship,” Rain whispered to Phayu the moment his eyes opened.
Phayu chuckled and nodded. “Happy pride month, baby.”
They did wake up a bit earlier than necessary to slot in a round of sex. What is a month dedicated to the gays without gay sex? It would have all been for nothing if they didn’t go at it as soon as they woke up.
Luckily they finished just in time to shower and make breakfast before Sky and Prapai arrived. If Sky’s flushed cheeks and Prapai’s damp hair from a hurried shower was anything to go by, Rain would have to guess that they had the same idea.
Phayu attempted to make rainbow pancakes, though the colors bled a little too much and sort of made a muddy mess. They tasted good all the same, and Rain was able to use them as an excuse to give Phayu a few extra kisses. (“Quit gagging, Sky. Look at his face, he’s so sad.”).
Once breakfast was finished, Rain and Sky grabbed the two bags that had been prepared days before and dragged their respective boyfriend off to different bedrooms to get changed. Rain, clad in a white crop top with a rainbow going across the front diagonally and a skimpy pair of jean shorts with colored sequins lining the waistband, helped Phayu into a muscle shirt that matched Rain’s. He made sure to go in and cut a bit more of the fabric out of the sides, ensuring that Phayu’s entire front was on display if he moved the wrong way. His shorts were different from Rain’s – a boring, sequin-less version with longer legs, but they suited Phayu well enough. The makeup would make up for it.
Rain, since getting in touch with his queer side, discovered that he loved makeup, especially when color was involved. He made it his life goal to figure out what everyone wanted to wear on their faces to Pride, and he was thrilled when Phayu gave him free reign to do whatever he wanted on his face, which meant he had two blank canvases to do whatever he wanted.
If there was one thing Rain learned quickly that he liked, it was masculine men with loads of blush, and that was exactly what he intended to do with Phayu. He loaded up the biggest brush he had with as much pink as it would pick up before decorating Phayu’s cheeks with it, rubbing the brush in circles to build up the pigment over the center of his face and then soften the edges. On a normal day, Rain would say that that was enough, but today was no normal day. They had a theme that he needed to stick to. Rainbow of course, but also glitter. They all agreed to wear glitter on their faces, and Rain couldn’t have been more excited.
He started above one eyebrow with the red flakes, and then eased into the orange between his eyebrows, followed by the yellow on the bridge of his nose, green connecting the nose to the other eye, blue curling up to the outer eye and purple swooping back up to his other eyebrow.
“Perfect!” Rain squealed excitedly, wiggling in place a bit. Phayu chuckled before asking if he could look in the mirror that he was specifically sitting away from so that he couldn’t see.
Phayu had never worn makeup before Rain, so he wasn’t sure how the man would react the first time Rain asked to put it on him. Of course, he knew that Phayu didn’t really mind, he just didn’t think he would particularly like it, but now every time he sees the way Phayu’s eyes light up as a smile stretches across his face, Rain knew that he loved each and every look.
“How do you manage to make me look so good with so little on my face?”
“It’s the blush. You look so pretty all flushed,” Rain said as he stood to put the brushes he was no longer going to use away.
He didn’t get very far when Phayu’s hands snaked around his waist, pulling him down into his lap. “So do you.”
Normally Rain would flush from that, and he absolutely did this time, but he also smacked Phayu’s hand and muttered, “Not now, I have to do my makeup.”
Phayu did let go of him, but whether or not that was because Rain asked him to or because Prapai and Sky entered the room was unknown, but Rain was able to start on his makeup in the next minute.
They were on a bit of a time crunch if they were going to follow Prapai and Phayu’s schedule, and he still needed to decorate Prapai and Sky’s faces, so Rain held back with his own for now. He kept it simple with rainbow eyeshadow and then sparse glitter over the rest of his face. He wanted the main focus to be his eyes, and he achieved that when he spun around and everyone hurried to compliment him. Sky even walked over to get a closer inspection, and Rain took that moment to shove him down in the chair that Phayu had previously been sitting in.
Sky’s outfit was a bit less than Rain’s, so he made sure to reflect that in his makeup. His shirt had a rainbow on it, but it looked more like one made by a suncatcher rather than the bold, rainbow flag-esque one on Rain’s shirt. He used pastels rather than bold colors and used them under the arch of Sky’s eyebrow, right on the brow bone. It was soft, subtle, perfectly Sky. He did need the glitter though, that was nonnegotiable, so Rain lightly dusted Sky’s cheeks and the bridge of his nose with it in rainbow order.
When he allowed Sky to see, he seemed shocked initially, his eyes widening. “Woah,” was all he managed to say.
“You like?” Rain asked with a smile, already knowing the answer.
“I love it!”
“Good. P’Pai, get over here. We gotta go quick.”
He was quick to listen to the artist, plopping down in the chair as soon as Sky moved. Similar to Phayu, his outfit was a more masculine version of Sky’s with the softer colors, except he had a pin on his shorts with the pan colors. Rain briefly considered playing with their respective flag colors, but determined that it would likely take much longer, and they didn’t really have the time to do that. So rainbow it was.
Rain initially struggled a bit with an idea for what he wanted to do with Prapai’s, but he managed to come up with something right before he fell asleep the night before. He did something similar to Sky, but rather than sparse glitter flakes in a gradient across his face, Rain shaped each color into their own heart on his cheeks. He paired that with a strip of colored mascara on Prapai’s bottom lashes.
“There,” Rain said, allowing Prapai to look at himself when he finished.
“Wow, Rain, this is so cool.” Prapai leaned in further to look at it. As far as Rain knew, it was Prapai’s first time really wearing makeup. He told them a story about how his younger sister used to do his makeup when they were much younger, though that usually turned into her using his face to do whatever she wanted to. Prapai only agreed to Rain doing his makeup with the stipulation that he wouldn’t use liquid eyeliner to give him glasses.
Now that they were all dressed and ready it was time to go. Rain took Sky and skipped to Phayu’s car – they weren’t going to make it far into the city with all the parades and celebrations planned, but it was better than walking all the way there in the heat. Phayu also wanted a space to store spare water in case someone needed it. Rain thought it was incredibly sexy how thoughtful his boyfriend was.
Sky wasn’t joking when he said that there were lots of people. They had to find a spot to park the car at least ten blocks away from where they originally planned, though that wasn’t a huge inconvenience. There were hundreds of people lining the streets, all dressed up similarly to the four of them. You couldn’t glance a single way without seeing a full rainbow. Rain couldn’t wait to get into the heart of all of it.
They managed to jump into the wave of people marching down the street. Some of them had banners and signs, others held flags above their heads, letting them flow behind them. It sent a shiver up Rain’s spine, goosebumps erupting on his arms and legs.
“You alright?” Phayu shouted over the noise.
Rain couldn’t do anything but nod, words evading him. He was more than alright. He felt light, free. Like he belonged. He squeezed Phayu’s hand and then adjusted his shoulders to stand up taller, prouder.
They walked until they finally reached the festival. Music was playing, people were dancing, it was so loud that Rain thought his eardrums were going to burst, and he couldn’t have been happier. Phayu, being the responsible adult that he was, made sure that they all had cold drinks before they did anything.
“Sky, you’ve been here before, what do we do?” Rain asked.
“Well, there’s usually vendors we can buy things from. Music to dance to. Shows to watch. Lots of drag shows.”
That caught Rain’s attention. He enjoyed watching people in drag perform, so they started walking, hoping to come across one.
While they walked, they stopped at stalls and vendors, filling their bellies with the food being sold and their arms with little trinkets. Prapai got them each their own mini flags for their respective sexualities, Sky bought a pin with the gay flag colors to match Prapai’s pan pin.
Phayu surprised Rain with a pair of fluffy rainbow handcuffs, making the younger gasp.
“They sell those things here?!” he whisper shouted.
“Of course,” Phayu chuckled. He then gestured to a group of people across the crowd who appeared to be dressed entirely in leather. Some were on all fours with a leash connecting a collar around their neck to the person they were with, others were just walking around in animal masks. “Pride isn’t just about celebrating gay people. It’s also about sexuality.”
The look that Phayu gave Rain would have had him sinking to his own knees if they hadn’t been in Prapai and Sky’s presence. He did however make a mental note to figure out the next festival they could use those rainbow handcuffs.
“Yuck,” Rain heard Sky say. He spun around to see him sticking his tongue out at the handcuffs hanging off of Phayu’s finger.
“Please. Acting like I haven’t seen the rope loops on your bed.”
Sky seemed absolutely appalled at the mention of their own sex life – the one he kept significantly more private than Phayu and Rain did.
“Actually Phayu, which stall did you get those handcuffs from?” Prapai asked, clearly joking. Sky knew that too, but that didn’t stop him from elbowing him in the gut. Even the blow to his stomach didn’t take the smile off of Prapai’s face.
“Okay, okay, enough about sex,” Rain said, surprising them all. He usually took up every opportunity to talk about how good his Phayu was in bed. “I want to go find a drag queen and ask her to sign my ass.”
He got his wish and soon enough he was bending in Phayu’s direction for one of the many drag queens to sign the back pocket of his jeans.
“Whoo, looks like someone’s ready to get a piece of you!” she told Phayu, finally getting a good look at him now that she wasn’t signing Rain’s ass. “Oh, I don’t blame him either. Move over, honey.”
Rain stood up at that, laughing as he wrapped his arms around Phayu’s neck. “Sorry, I don’t really like to share.”
“I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t wanna share that either.”
They stuck around to watch some of the queens perform, laughing until they cried and cheering until their voices went hoarse.
Rain was prepared to stay out all night before he actually arrived, but now it was barely getting dark and he was already ready to go home. His ears hurt, his throat burned, and his feet ached. Phayu carried him on his back back to the car while Sky was basically using Prapai as a vertical bed.
They had already planned for Sky and Prapai to stay the night so they didn’t need to worry about driving home after such a tiring day. Rain put away his new things and then helped all of them wash their makeup off.
“...Is the glitter going to come off?” Prapai asked once he noticed that it was sticking to their faces no matter how many times they wiped at it.
“In the shower, yeah,” Rain replied, though the raised pitch in his voice suggested that the glitter was absolutely not going to come off.
Once everyone was settled in bed, sleep came easily to all of them. Right after Rain’s head hit the pillow, just before he drifted off, he heard Phayu ask, “Did you have fun?”
“The most. I love being gay,” he sleepily replied.
Phayu chuckled. “Good. We’d have a real issue if you weren’t.”