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Johnny’s eyes snapped open.
It had been like this for the past day, He had been stuck in this.. he didn’t even know where he was, all he saw was black. Like an endless void. He must’ve fallen asleep. Maybe this was a dream, maybe he had died and went to hell. This sure seemed like hell. He was gonna go insane. But he knew dreams didn’t last 7 hours, this must’ve been hell or some freakish limbo. he had been doing anything to keep himself occupied, anything to keep his thoughts from going back to the fact that he was probably dead.
He would never lay in the lot with Pony again, looking at the starts, smoking and laughing until their stomachs hurt, no more crashing at the Curtis place when his ma was hacked off, no more playing football in the lot with the gang, no more tagging along with Dally in some new flashy stolen Chevrolet. Because he was dead now. Stuck here for eternity with no escape, must’ve been a punishment. Knowing eventually the whole gang was going to go on with their lives, while he stared at nothing, with the only things to think about is if there was ever going to be an end to this.
He had mostly passed time by humming songs and throwing his jacket and going to pick it up, and then throwing it again. Not the funnest way he had passed time, but he could be as loud and obnoxious as he wanted, because, he was pretty sure he was alone. And would be for a while. When he first realized this wasn’t a dream, he had sobbed. Damn near wailed, and it felt good. Just not the after affects of the red eyes and guilty feeling afterwards. He got the easy way out, why was he the one crying? He didn’t know. He had considered praying, praying to be let into heaven, he would worship God forever if it meant he could get out of here, it was going to drive him insane. He still felt the burns. All over his body, but it was more dull than it was yesterday in the hospital bed. He could walk now, but the pain was more weak and achey than the burning and stinging. Maybe it wasn’t hell after all, since he didn’t feel any pain, but he didn’t feel anything. He rested his hand on his chest and he couldn’t feel it at all, he didn’t push his luck, though. If he was injured; would it ever heal? Was there bandage in the void? He didn’t think so.
He was about to get up and throw his jacket again until he saw someone. He knew that St. Christopher’s necklace from anywhere. Oh, wow. He was hallucinating already. Dally was just.. standing there. Dazed, it seemed. Dally was the first to speak up.
”..Johnny?”
Holy hell, maybe it wasn’t a hallucination. No, it had to be. Johnny would have too many questions if it wasn’t. Dally wasn’t dead. He had to live on. He was stronger than that, he had to be!
”Dally?
Johnny spoke up dumbly, not too sure on how to reply. He saw tears sting at the corners of Dally’s eyes and he knew then he had to have been hallucinating. This was all just too much. Johnny stumbled to his feet.
”I don’t believe this, I’m hallucinating, ain’t I? I’ve actually gone crazy.”
”… ‘M real, Johnny.”
”No you’re not!”
Johnny had no idea why he was getting so worked up. Seeing Dally was too much, dying, being put in this hell and his mind playing tricks on him? What the hell was his life?
”Johnny, I swear to god I am.”
”…Are you-.. are you dead? Did you die?! Why are you here?!”
Dally paused, breathing heavy as the same type of realization kicked in for Dally the same way it had for Johnny.
”..I think I did.”
Johnny tensed. He was utterly at a loss for words. Should he ask him what happened? That sounded extremely too casual for this type of situation.
”..How?”
Dally didn’t wanna tell Johnny how he did for a strange reason, after Johnny died, it was just the straw that broke the camels back. Everything was too much, he had lost too much. But he had realized he had something to live for too late. And now he would never live for that again.
”.. Crashed on the road.”
Johnny sighed, feeling tears sting at his own eyes, an inescapable feeling of hopelessness deep in his gut. Dally had died young and a hood, just like they always knew he would. Johnny had really thought more of him.
”…Drunk?”
”Yeah.”
Johnny let out a shaky sigh, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“..Y’know, I really thought you would go on to do great things.”
Johnny said simply. He wasn’t mad at Dally; he was mad at the fact he crashed. Mad at the fact Dally didn’t to go on with his life, he died before he could get better. Before he could be sober, get out of Tulsa, start a family, anything. Hell, he wasn’t even an adult yet.
But who was he to talk.
They stood around in silence for a bit, might have been hours, days, years, who knows. Not like there was any concept of time here.
”I know.”
Dally mumbled back, Johnny looked down.
”I wrote about you in my letter to Ponyboy.”
”Yeah?.. what’d you say?”
“Told him to tell you to look at a sunset. See the good in the world. Have you ever seen the good in the world?”
”Have you?”
Johnny sighed.
”Yeah, but nothing good can stay.”