Chapter Text
The night of the Oscars, 1999. Taissa Turner, at 21 years old, had already made a name for herself. “The actress of a generation” amongst her praises.
She stood in the shower, letting the water run down her back, she’d never felt so nervous. Oscar nominated and maybe tonight she would come home an Oscar winner.
“TAI”
“Shower” she called
The door handle rattled, “it’s locked” the woman on the other side of the door said, frustrated. Tai smiled to herself, she knew it was locked, and she knew that Van Palmer wouldn’t have hesitated to walk straight in. She stepped out of the shower, grabbing the soft, pink towel that was hung up on the rack.
“TAI” she said, banging at the door
“Relax, I’m coming” She hesitated at the door, asking herself how long could she keep this up, teasing Van like that.
“Taissa.” softly this time.
She opened the door, wrapped in the towel, hair dripping down her collarbones and back.
Van bit her lip,
“Hey, eyes are up here” Tai said, gently raising Van’s head with a single finger under her chin.
“You are..” mesmerised by her, she’d seen her like this so many times, seen her in less yet Van was constantly captivated.
“Yeah yeah” she replied, removing her hand and sauntering past, over to the bed in the middle of her hotel room.
“You’re going to win an Oscar” her voice full of pride, Van’s eyes hadn’t left Tai,
Tai shrugged, “Maybe”
“Shut up” Van made her way over, and sat down next to Tai. She cupped her cheek in her hand, “you are about to win an oscar, and i have never been so proud of anyone” she kissed her gently, before resting her head against Tai’s.
“If I don't win… will you still love me?”
“You could be a nobody living in a cardboard box and I’d still love you”
“TAISSA OVER HERE” “TO YOUR LEFT” “SMILE”
Photographers should be nicer Tai thought, nonetheless complying with the directions that were being barked at her. She raised her hand to her hip and smiled brightly. Her dress was cream and partly made of mesh. Her necklace was big and blingy, meeting the low neckline of the dress. She looked undeniably beautiful.
Van Palmer sat in Taissa’s hotel room, watching the event on the small TV, this wasn’t her crowd, Tai had done the same thing when Van had gone to the AMA’S. Quietly supporting each other had become their normal.
She sat, cross legged on the floor, picking at the skin around her fingernails as the announcer for best lead actress walked across the stage. She had to win, she had worked so hard and at least to Van, there was nobody in the world who deserved anything more than Taissa Turner. She had spent half of her life in love with her, ever since she was old enough to know what it felt like to be in love - it had always been Taissa.
“And the Oscar goes too..”
The pause felt as if it lasted for a million years, Taissa wanted two things in life, she wanted success, and she wanted love. She wanted Van, she wanted Van to be there, she wanted to be able to kiss her in front of the world, go up on that stage and thank her, for being the first person to ever believe in her, but she couldn’t. Every other nominee had their person, if anyone else was to win - they would get to have it all at once, success, and their love.
“Taissa Turner, Shakespeare in Love”
She’d done it, she’d won the oscar and she should have been on top of the world, success had always driven her, ever since she first joined theatre in middle school, this was the goal, to be recognised and rewarded for her talent, yet how could she be truly happy without her person there to celebrate her and love her loudly.
Standing on the stage, award in hand, every single person in the room looking at her, she had never felt so alone, everything felt like nothing without Van and she’d never realised, right up until the peak moment of her success, that love was the most important.
She’d spent weeks rehearsing her acceptance speech, she thanked the Academy, and the studio and the crew, and her family, and just before she left the stage, she said. “And to my best friend in the whole world, Thank you for believing in me.” She wanted to say more, she wanted to call her her girlfriend, tell her thank you for loving her when she felt unlovable, for supporting her dreams, for being the person she called after every audition, every day on set and for being the person she came home to at the end of the day.
“You won baby” Van exclaimed, as Tai creeped into the room, she jumped
“I thought you’d be asleep” Tai giggled, closing the door, it had been hours, she was drunk, and had spent the remainder of the night talking with industry hot shots and trying to avoid the company of the people she found unpleasant, she threw herself onto the bed and placed her hands over her stomach.
“I wish you could have been there”
“I know, I saw you though, I watched the whole thing” Van said, laying down next to her, shoulders touching. “I will never stop believing in you” she said, as they both turned to face each other.