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Roman is going to go insane. He has exactly four days, thirteen hours, and twenty-four minutes until his boys get back to the states. Not that he's counting though. He has the day circled on his calendar, with bright red sharpie, the paper underneath almost torn with how much he's ran the pen over the same spot. They have been gone for two weeks already, and Roman has no idea what to do with himself. They're off doing some sort of advertisement thing in a different country, one Roman couldn't attend because he was injured. It's bullshit, and he complained the entire time up until they left, even mumbling to himself as he watched them walk through TSA. He only feels slightly better knowing that the other two men complained even more than he did. They've called every night -at least when it was night for Roman-, all of them unable to sleep unless they've seen the others' faces, confirmed that they're safe.
Roman was fine at first. Sure he missed his boys, but he was glad they had each other to curl up with. He's just never felt so lonely. He gets at least fifty messages a day from each of them in their group chat -Seth changes the name every week or so. It's currently ‘Daddy's Daycare’ which both Dean and Roman have complained about because getting a notification from that is hard to explain- random photos and updates on what they're doing. Roman has specifically saved every photo Seth sends of Dean when he's regressed, more often than not it's a photo Dean doesn't know has been taken, the man smiling at something in the distance with the peaceful look in his eyes he only gets while little. Roman is trying to be better about not feeling guilty for having negative emotions, but the amount of jealousy -and then the guilt he feels for being jealous- he's overwhelmed with by one certain photo is insane.
He's laying stomach down on their bed, wrapped in Dean's and Seth's blankets, when he gets a private message from Seth.
‘Sethie ❤️: Someone had too much sugar lol’
‘Sethie ❤️: attached a photo’
He clicks on the photo to full-screen it, and that's when the emotions hit him. It's Dean curled up, asleep, head laying on Seth's lap. He's wrapped in a blanket, Mr. Quack held tightly against his chest, with his black pacifier in his mouth. Seth's fingers are curled in Dean's hair, obviously having been scratching at their boy's scalp when the photo was taken. He wants to be next to Dean, curled up with his head on Seth's other leg. He wants to have Seth's fingers in his hair. He wants to be wrapped up in a blanket and held. He wants-
He slams his phone down, turning it off in the process. He can't stop the groan that escapes him when he realizes that the corners of his eyes are stinging, and that his vision is getting blurry. He hasn't been able to actually regress at any point his boys have been gone, just getting upset and ending up curled up with all of their blankets in the bathtub. He likes the small space, it makes him feel space. He tries to hold back the tears, but he fails, letting his face fall into the pillow beneath him as his shoulders start to shake.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Roman, Jimmy is standing on his front porch, debating if he should knock or not. Roman's been pulling away from them ever since his boys left. They'd get it if he was upset, but just complete silence from their cousin is highly unnatural. They'd all been extremely worried about him after three days of absolute radio silence, and had been debating the risks of a welfare check, when Solo had the, very smart, idea to just go to his house. Jimmy was the only one without plans that day, so here he is, with a raised fist, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He doesn't think Roman will be mad, but he's worried for him. He finally knocks, and when there's no response. He knocks again. Roman's car is in the driveway, and no one at work has seen him, so he has to be home. The silence worries Jimmy, and he starts lifting up random plants on the porch, trying to find a spare key. He ends up finding it when he shoves his hand in the mailbox a few minutes later, and he hesitantly opens the front door.
“Roman?” There's no response, and all of the lights are off. “Uce?”
He gets no response, and decides to leave. Maybe his cousin had walked to the convenience store down the street, he'll check their next. He's just turned to start walking out of the house, when he hears a soft sniffle. It's an unfamiliar sound, but everything in him is suddenly screaming that he needs to go check on it. He feels the same way he feels when he's looking after an upset Jey, and he rushes towards where he heard the noise from. He comes to the closed door of Roman's bedroom, and he hears it again. It's muffled, but it's obvious the older man is crying, and Jimmy can feel his heart break. He should give him some privacy, but he figures Roman's been alone enough this past week, and he gently opens the door.
Roman is laying facing the door, eyes clamped shut as he cries softly. He's curled up into a ball, blanket wrapped tightly around him, and Jimmy frowns. He gets a step closer and realizes that Roman has his thumb in his mouth, and is holding a sweatshirt against his chest. It's so bright, and ugly, that he can immediately tell it belongs to Seth.
“Uce?”
Roman's whole body tenses, and no one moves for a few seconds, before Roman sits up suddenly, opening his eyes and throwing his thumb out of his mouth. He wipes furiously at his face, trying to get the tears to stop as Jimmy stands in between him and the door.
“Go away.”
“Rome, we haven't heard from you in days.”
“GO AWAY.”
Jimmy's taken aback, eye widening as his cousin yells at him. Sure they yell at each other in the ring, but Roman hasn't yelled at him like this since they were dumb teenagers. Roman's still wiping at his face and shuddering when it clicks for Jimmy. His yell had sounded a lot like how a little kid would when they were throwing a fit, and he was very obviously sucking on his thumb less than a minute ago. He walks forward to sit on the edge of the bed, ignoring Roman's angry mumbling.
“You feeling little, buddy?” It's the same tone he'd use with Jey, and he just hopes that it doesn't make the older man any angrier. Roman shakes his head, frowning.
“No.”
“Are you sure? Because you seem a little-” He's cut off by fabric being flung at his face, and he recoils in shock. It doesn't hurt, but it's enough to surprise him, and the fabric of what he assumes is the ugly sweater Roman was just holding, slides down his face, revealing Roman looking at him in horror. They stare at each other for a few moments, tense silence between them, before Roman gasps and his lip starts to wobble violently. Jimmy rushes forward to scoop up his cousin in his arms, holding him against his chest and he smooths over Roman's hair. “Hey uce, I'm not mad, it's ok. I get it, it's ok.”
Roman doesn't respond at first, shaking in Jimmy's arms as he tries to calm down. He talks through a hiccup, voice crackly with the crying he's been doing. “Wan daddy, I wan Deany.”
Jimmy can feel him frown, and he runs a hand through Roman's hair, cooing softly. “I know uce, I'm sorry. They'll be home soon, I promise you.”
“Wan them now.”
“Do you want to call them?”
Roman's silent, twiddling the fabric of Jimmy's shirt between his fingers as he thinks. “No. Is sleep time for them.”
Roman's word pattern makes Jimmy's heart melt, and he leans his head down to kiss the top of his hair. His cousin's sniffling has calmed down, and Jimmy rubs at his arm. “You feeling better uce?”
“Mhm.” Roman hums in response. “Please don leave.”
Jimmy squeezes his arms around the man tighter, burying his face into Roman's hair. “I won't, it's ok, I'm here now Rome.”
Jimmy isn't quite sure how long they sit like this, but he doesn't mind, as long as it helps his cousin. The silence in the room is interrupted when Roman's stomach growls, and he flushes, burying his head against Jimmy's chest.
“When was the last time you ate, uce?”
Roman's silent, hesitating before he answers. “Yeserday.”
He's quiet, and Jimmy has to physically hold back the very loud groan he wants to make at his response. “How about we go get food with Jey, hm?”
Roman peaks his head up, wet eyes looking at Jimmy timidly. “Waff’e house?”
Jimmy chuckles and nods, smiling at him. “Yeah, we'll go get waffle house.”
Roman and him move off the bed, and Jimmy helps him pull a sweater on. It's definitely not his cousin's, but it's not the most hideous thing in the world, so he assumes it's Dean's. He makes sure to grab Roman's phone before they head out of the door, getting into the car. Jimmy checks his phone before driving off, wincing when he sees the messages from his brother.
‘Yeet (Josh): Any luck?’
‘Yeet (Josh): Hello????’
‘Yeet (Josh): DUDE???’
‘Yeet (Josh): JIMMY?’
‘Yeet (Josh): Oh my god are you dead?’
‘Yeet (Josh): This is Solo. Stole his phone because I think he's going to have an aneurysm. Please answer.’
Jimmy huffs while sending back a reply, telling his brother that he's fine, and to get changed so that they can go to waffle house with Roman. He assumes Jey got his phone back because the response is a bunch of exclamation marks and heart emojis. Halfway through the ride to the house, Roman clears his throat and holds his hand out. He doesn't say anything, and Jimmy glances at the hand in confusion. Roman clears his throat again, and Jimmy takes one hand off of the steering wheel to hold onto Roman's hand, and his cousin hums happily. They pull up to the house and Roman whines when he has to let go of his hand to get out of the car, pouting slightly. The door flings open, Jey running out to meet them.
“WAFFLE HOUSE!” He's not regressed, no, he's just so excited for food that he's bouncing up and down. He pats his brother on the back, and turns to Roman. “We've been worried about you uce!”
“‘M sorry.” Recognition flashes over Jey's face, and he leans forward to hug Roman, smiling when his cousin immediately wraps his arms around him.
“It's ok dude, we get it.”
Roman nuzzles the side of his face against Jey's, the shorter man laughing at the feeling.
“Are we getting food or not?” Solo's voice surprises Roman, and he twists his face around to look at him. He nods shyly, a soft smile spreading on his face when Solo waves back. Jey grumbles and separates from him, getting into the backseat of the car. Jimmy gets in the driver's seat, and Roman hesitates outside the car.
“They won't be mad if you pick one.” Solo's voice is calming, and he rubs Roman's shoulder as he speaks. “I promise Rome.”
Roman nods and gets in the backseat, grabbing Jey's arm, leaning against him after he gets buckled in. He doesn't talk the entire car ride, but he giggles and nods when they ask him questions, never letting go of Jey's arm. They get to the restaurant and Jey wiggles in excitement, making Roman laugh as he does so. They all shuffle into a booth, Roman pulling on Solo's shirt sleeve and motioning to one side so that they can sit together. He leans on Solo nearly the entire time, but he doesn't mind. He feels better than he has in two weeks, like the hole in his chest is finally being mended. It's not the same as having his boys next to him, but having his family is just as special in their own way. Solo has to help him cut up his waffle, and he feels ashamed when he shoves the plate towards him with the knife, but Solo just smiles and helps, not stopping his conversation with his brothers as his hands move.
Roman leans against his cousin again, nuzzling his face against his shoulder, and smiles. He's still counting down the days until his daddy and his Deany can wrap him in their arms, but he's happy now, watching his cousins play fight over who has to pay, Solo wrapping an arm around Roman's shoulder. He could get used to this, letting his family take care of him the way they are. Maybe he can handle not being the one in control all of the time.