Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“C’mon man, we can’t be a band without a guitarist!”

“Joey.” Wheels has that tone in his voice he gets when he thinks one of Joey’s ideas is stupid — so most of the time, really. “Who are we gonna get? We don’t know any guitarists.”

“Sure we do!” says Joey, before struggling to think of a single one. “What about that Snake guy, he’s pretty good.”

Wheels gives him a funny look. “I thought you guys didn’t get on.”

Don’t they? Joey loses track of who doesn’t like him sometimes. Right, he did make fun of Snake one time, after he got cut from the soccer team — don’t worry man, I’m sure there’s a soccer team for giraffes somewhere you can join. They probably play better than you — but like, that was back in grade 7, before Snake got quite as tall as he is now. Snake wouldn’t still be holding a grudge, right?

Joey shrugs. “Well we’ll never know unless we ask him.”

Wheels gives him a look, then sighs. “Okay we can ask him.” He pauses. “But like, maybe let me ask him, okay? He might listen to me.”

“You?” asks Joey, confused. “Do you even know the guy?”

Wheels says nothing, but sure enough he asks and Snake says yes. They’ve got a band.

“Joey, you're a real jerk sometimes, you know that?”

Wheels storms off, leaving Joey to stare at Snake in confusion. “What did I say?”

Snake glares at him. “Seriously Joey?” he asks, and Joey shrugs. “You know he liked Steph.”

“He says he doesn’t anymore!”

“Still, how would you feel if Wheels started going after the girl you like?”

Joey scoffs. “Uh, Wheels has spent all term going after the girl I like, remember?”

Snake raises his eyebrows. “Has he? Or has she spent all term going after him?”

Joey frowns, not sure why that should make all the difference. “Well whatever,” he says, starting to feel a little guilty, “he’ll get over it.”

“Yeah, he’ll get over it, just…” Snake sighs and looks away, then mutters, just to himself: “Why did I even join this stupid band.”

And Joey’s frown deepens. Why did Snake join the band anyway?

The party turns lame again after Spike storms out, taking Shane and Eggbert with her. Joey doesn’t know why she reacted like that, it’s not a real baby, it’s just an egg. Pregnancy hormones, he guesses.

So he turns to Snake and Wheels, still huddled together around the one walkman trying to listen to it. They look cozy. Well at least they’re warm; Lucy’s house is freezing when nobody’s dancing. “Well that was dramatic,” he comments.

“Yeah,” says Wheels, while Snake grimaces.

“I mean, you have to feel bad for her,” he says. “It must be awful, being pregnant.”

Joey pauses for a second. He’s not really thought about it, but Snake’s right, it must be horrible. “Yeah,” he says, then shakes his head and chuckles. “Man, I’m so glad I’m a guy. We don’t have to worry about anything when having sex!”

That’s a bit of an exaggeration, given Shane’s in a rough spot here too, but Wheels just gives him a funny look. “I’m gonna go get a pop,” he says, taking his headphone off and offering it back to Snake. Joey frowns as he walks away, getting the distinct impression he just missed something.

This is so unfair man, Wheels’ parents not letting him play until his marks improve. Wheels is gonna be a rock superstar! Who cares about marks?

“You guys can play without me,” Wheels immediately offers, always such a nice guy. Joey won’t hear a word of it.

“No way man! It’s not the Zit Remedy if we’re missing a Zit.” Wheels grins at him, before getting distracted by something about Lucy and Colby, he guesses.

“Guys, do you ever think about really having sex?”

Snake and Wheels look at each other before they answer, like they need permission, or they need to get their story straight or something. “Well, a bit.”

“Yeah. Me too. Sometimes. You?”

“Aw man, all the time!”

They shake their heads and they start to walk away. “Joey, you are sex-crazed!”

“You’re sick, you’re sick!”

“You’re a pervert!”

They bicker and squabble as they make their way to their lockers. “Guys, I am not a pervert!” he insists. “I just like chicks, that’s normal right?”

And oh, there’s that funny look again.

Snake is still sulking on the Monday. “You guys are such jerks.”

“Aw, come on man,” Joey tells him, “it wasn’t our fault. We didn’t know she was going out with you when she’d agreed to go out with Yick.”

Snake sighs. “It’s just… I have bad enough luck with girls, and you guys have to come make it worse? Why?”

Joey shares a look with Wheels. Why did they decide to ruin Snake’s date anyway? He was just being a jerk, he guesses, the same way he was to Melanie after she first got a bra, but Wheels? That wasn’t a very Wheels thing to do. Usually, Wheels is the one who talks him out of his bad ideas like that.

“I mean we all have bad luck with girls,” Wheels points out, and Snake stares at him. Wheels sighs. “Snake, we’re really sorry. It won’t happen again. Right Joey?” Snake keeps staring at him, but there’s something softer in his eyes now. Joey frowns, feeling almost like they’ve forgotten about him — before Wheels nudges him in the ribs insistently. “ Right, Joey?”

Joey snaps out of it. “Oh, yeah, right.”

Snake sighs. “Alright.” Wheels grins, and reaches out to shake his hand. Snake takes it. Joey joins in the handshake after a second, but it almost feels like he doesn’t need to be there.

“Ow.”

“Come on Joey, keep going, one foot after the other,” Wheels tells him, encouraging, while he leans against Snake’s chest for support. He’s lucky he has a friend as tall as Snake; he could probably get Joey home on his own, really, Wheels is just here for moral support.

As one of Snake’s bony elbows knocks against a bruise, he hisses. “No, guys, it hurts too much. Just leave me here to die.”

They both laugh at his melodramatics. “Well, Joey, have we learned a lesson here?” Snake asks him. “About not saying things behind people’s backs you wouldn’t say to their faces?”

Joey pouts. “Maybe.” Okay, maybe he was kind of a jerk to Dwayne, but Dwayne was far worse to him.

His mom is shocked and appalled when she sees him. “Joey!” she says, quickly taking from between Snake and Wheels’ arms and into her own. “What happened?!”

“He got in a fight,” Snake explains helpfully.

Mom tuts and frets over him. “Doesn’t look like it was much of a fight,” she says. “It looks like someone beat him up.”

“He was holding his own,” comments Wheels, and Joey smiles that at least his best friend will stick up for his fighting prowess. “In the fight, I mean.”

Joey frowns, wondering why Wheels felt the need to specify, while Mom doesn’t miss a beat. “Right, well, thank you boys for bringing him home. I’ll take it from here.”

She does so, and despite how much pain he’s in, Joey can’t help but stare as Snake and Wheels walk away together. How they seem to draw closer when he’s not there between them.

This dance sucks, thinks Joey as some St. Mary’s geek asks Caitlin to dance. At least Wheels seems to agree with him on the fact, ascending up the stairs with a look of confusion on his face. “How come all the Degrassi girls are dancing with the guys from St. Mary’s?”

He wonders who it is Wheels is mad about the St. Mary’s guys stealing. He hasn’t seen Steph at the dance so far. “Hey, maybe we should ask the St. Mary’s girls to dance?” Snake suggests, and honestly, sometimes Joey suspects Snake is more girl-crazy than him, he just hides it better.

“Are you kidding? We don’t even know them!” And Joey knows no one would believe this from him, but he can’t imagine wanting to dance with a girl he didn’t know anything about. Call him a romantic, he guesses. He hasn’t seen Liz at this dance yet either.

“First these St. Mary’s geeks wipe us at soccer, then they steal our girls,” Wheels is still complaining, but something about the way he talks strikes Joey as off somehow. It feels like he’s talking about Degrassi Girls™, as a concept, but not any actual girls. Why does he feel like that?

Then Erica goes walking past, arm in arm with some jerk from St. Mary’s. Later Heather and Alexa follow, Alexa asking them what a fabulous dance it is. They all answer in sync, twirling their fingers:

“Dynamite.”

“Classical guitar, really?”

“I know right?” Joey responds, barely comprehending the idea. “Man, Snake has got to get better at not letting his parents tell him what to do.”

“Joey.” Wheels stops suddenly, a troubled look clouding his face, like something just occurred to him. “You don’t think it’s our fault, do you? Like – there’s some reason Snake’s parents don’t want him playing with us?”

Joey frowns, wondering where that came from. “Why wouldn’t Snake’s parents want him playing with us?”

“I-I dunno.” Wheels hesitates a moment, then shakes his head. “Nothing. I’m just being stupid. Forget about it.”

So Joey does.

Joey is just sitting by his locker, in the halls with Wheels, when he notices him staring at someone, and turns to see who it is. He rolls his eyes. “Tell me you don’t still like Steph.”

Wheels rolls his eyes in turn. “No, I don’t still like Steph,” he says. “I’m worried about Steph.”

Joey frowns. “What do you mean?”

Wheels nods after her. “Just look at her, man.”

Joey looks to where Steph, dressed in a shapeless, ill-fitting blouse and a dowdy gray skirt, drifts aimlessly through the corridors in a daze, almost walking face-first into a locker and then glaring at it like it wronged her personally somehow. He grimaces. It’s a sad sight from the girl who was once the coolest, hottest chick at Degrassi. “Man, Simon must have really broken her heart, huh?” It’s strange to think of Stephanie Kaye as the kind of chick who gets her heart broken.

“Yeah,” murmurs Wheels. Then after a second he adds: “Maybe I did too.”

Joey looks up at him, frowning. “Wheels man, you can’t blame yourself,” he says. “I mean, what she did to us, trying to play us against each other like that? That was pretty horrible of her.”

“Yeah, I know, I just…” Wheels trails off, never finishing his sentence. The bell rings and Steph disappears. Joey’s frown deepens. Great, now he’s worried too.

This is so unfair. Pornography, really? For photos he got out of the paper? He’s practically studying current events on his own free time. Or the aesthetics of beauty or whatever. See, he’s like a Renaissance artist, those guys painted chicks naked all the time.

At least L.D is in trouble with him. See, his photos were tasty – tasteful , hers were just gross. She doesn’t even like guys like that. Everyone can see she’s a lesbian, what with her playing softball and obsessing about cars, not to mention being all over Lucy all the time.

Joey frowns, a thought occurring to him. Okay, he still thinks she overreacted, but… if L.D is a lesbian, it must kinda blow for her, hearing him and the guys talk about sexy hot chicks and all the things they’d like to do to them, knowing she could never do the same. It can’t be easy either, staring at photos of sexy dudes and knowing you should want them, but finding you just can’t. He can’t blame her for getting jealous.

“L.D?” he asks while the teacher is out of the room, and she looks back at him, as if surprised he’s talking to her. He doesn’t know what he wants to ask her really, but he says: “Do you really think we’re all chauvinists?”

L.D hesitates for a second before answering. “I guess Wheels isn’t so bad.” Joey blinks. Wheels? “I mean, he didn’t say anything disrespectful. Besides,” she starts blushing faintly, “he’s kinda cute.”

Joey is surprised. Huh.

“So, how was detention? You know, with…”

Wheels’ eyes trail after L.D as she cycles into view. Well, that’s probably a good sign. “Oh, not too bad,” he says, and Wheels looks back at him. “ You know, I don't think she's gay after all. We got talking, and uh, Wheels? I think she kind of likes you.”

He doesn’t know how he expects Wheels to react to that – what, no way Joey, you’re imagining things or you’re kidding, I like her too! – but he just freezes. Then, out of nowhere, Wheels turns around.

“Wheels?” asks Joey, wondering what’s up. What, what did I say? “You okay man?”

“Joey, I’m…”

What, what is he? But then Wheels turns back around. “I’m fine,” he says, and Joey smiles, deciding not to push. He’s still a bit confused, but whatever. “Come on, we’ll be late for class.”

And as they enter the building, he notices Wheels staring at L.D again. Maybe he does like her back after all. Who knows.

Joey Jeremiah: good driver, better friend, he thinks as they drop Wheels off at the eye doctor. And for these accomplishments, he thinks he deserves to reward himself with a round of fries, despite Snake’s misgivings.

Snake’s still sulking as he sits across from him at the diner, staring at the car like it’ll grow legs and start walking away or something. “Snake man, you gotta relax,” he says. “I told you I can drive!”

Snake glares at him. “We almost hit a lady with a pram Joey!”

“But we didn’t,” says Joey, mouth full of fries, and Snake rolls his eyes. “Honestly, anyone would think you wanted Wheels to miss his appointment.”

“No, of course I didn’t want Wheels to miss his appointment, it’s just…” and really, it’s a good thing Wheels was there, there’s no way he could have convinced Snake to let him drive on his own. Snake sighs. “I’m worried my parents are gonna find out.”

“They’re not gonna find out,” Joey tells him, and Snake says nothing. He frowns, again wondering if he’s missed something.

“So what do you, Lucy, L.D, and Suzie Rivera all have in common?”

Wheels jumps, seemingly surprised by them approaching him in the hallway, like they don’t do that all the time. “Huh?”

Joey shrugs. “We saw you hanging out with the girls outside the principal’s office.” Okay, Wheels hanging out with Lucy and L.D isn’t that weird, but Suzie? Does Wheels even know Suzie? “You got yourself a harem, Wheels?”

“Joey, no!” Wheels sounds appalled by the idea, though Joey was only kidding. “No, we just – we needed to talk to Principal Lawrence about something.”

Joey and Snake share a look. Something about Wheels’ tone seems off, and Snake frowns. “Is it serious?”

Wheels sighs as he leads them down the corridor and into the resource centre. “Kinda, yeah.”

Joey and Snake both frown as they sit across from Wheels at a table, waiting for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. After a second, Snake decides to change the subject. “Well hey, since we’re in the resource centre – I agreed to help you study for your English exam, right?”

Joey rolls his eyes. Great, more studying – he doesn’t know why they worry so much. Snake always does well on his exams, and Wheels never does no matter how hard he studies, so why does he waste his time? They’re all gonna be rockstars one day anyway, they don’t need school.

Wheels stares at Snake for a long moment. “...Right,” he says. “But I can’t. I uh, promised my mom I’d help her with something. Tomorrow, okay?”

Joey frowns. What, does Wheels’ mom not want him studying? He beats a hasty retreat, leaving Snake to stare after him, confused. “Tomorrow,” he murmurs, before he turns to Joey. “Was it something I said?”

“Listen, thanks for making me come tonight,” Joey says as he and Wheels walk home together after the dance — they’ll have to split before they make it to Wheels’ parents house, but nevermind. “It was one hell of a gig, huh? I mean, who would have thought we rocked so hard we could make a girl go into labour!”

Wheels smiles a little at that, then pauses. “You reckon Spike’s gonna be okay?”

Joey pauses in turn. Honestly he has no idea — he doesn’t like thinking about what Spike is about to go through; she’s only fourteen, and she’s so short. He is so, so glad he’s a guy. “I dunno man,” he says. “I hope so.”

Wheels falls silent for awhile after that, thinking. “So,” he announces out of nowhere, “Caitlin, huh?”

Joey feels himself turning pink, sure Wheels is about to make fun of him, the same way they made fun of Snake for liking Melanie. “What, she’s cute. For a narbo.”

For a moment, Wheels doesn’t say anything. “Great,” he mutters under his breath. “Now you both have a creepy thing for younger girls.”

Joey is taken aback. “What? We don’t have a creepy thing for younger girls, Caitlin and Melanie — they’re only a year younger than us, c’mon.” Wheels falls silent again as Joey frowns at him, trying to figure out where that came from. “Wheels? Is there something going on with you?”

Wheels stops, not looking at him. “What could possibly be going on with me, Joey?”

And Joey has no idea.

He shrugs it off. Whatever, Wheels is a pretty chill guy, after all. Joey’s sure that whatever it is, it’ll work itself out.

Chapter Text

Welcome to the worst year of his life. He’s stuck in grade 8, Wheels’ parents won’t let him see him – they better have some luck with this demo, man, else he’s ready to write the whole year off.

Wheels and Snake aren’t terribly reassuring as they leave him for their grade 9 class. “Look out for the little ankle biters!” Wheels teases him, but as they walk away together, they fit together too neatly.

Joey frowns. If you weren’t looking too closely, you might think they were holding hands.

“God, Arthur is a such a narbo,” Joey groans, already dreading the rest of Grade 8 part two. “Raditch making us switch seats man, what was that about?”

By his side, Snake scoffs. He doesn’t know where Wheels has gotten to, but he might be under lock and key to keep him from seeing Joey. “Probably didn’t want to separate the two boyfriends.”

At that, Joey gives him a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“Arthur and Yick?” he asks, leaving Joey even more confused. “C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t wonder about those two.” Joey can’t say he thinks much about Arthur and Yick at all. Snake sighs. “Look, last year, there was a whole week where they were just following me around, it was creepy. And this other time, I caught Yick practicing lines on Arthur, telling him how blue his eyes were and stuff.”

Joey frowns, not sure he buys this. “I thought Yick liked Melanie?”

“Does he?” Snake asks. “Or does he tell himself that, so he doesn’t have to think about who he really likes?”

Joey’s frown deepens. This sort of mean, petty gossip isn’t like Snake; it seems beneath him somehow. “Snake man, that’s a crappy thing to say about a guy just because he likes the same girl you do,” he points out, and Snake does look guilty. “What’s it to you anyway? I mean, you have a problem with gays?”

At that, Snake looks confused. “Doesn’t everyone?”

Joey is taken aback. He can’t say he’s ever really thought about it before. “Not me,” he says. “I don’t get it, but I don’t have a problem with it. That’s their business, right? I mean, who are they hurting?”

From the look on his face, it’s clear Snake doesn’t have a real answer to that. He shrugs. “Whatever.”

Joey sighs as he follows Snake down the stairs. “Man, you better get over that,” he says. “If we’re gonna make it in the music industry, we’re gonna have to do business with at least a couple of homos.”

Wheels’ parents are still being a pain. He wasn’t that late home from rehearsal, jeez. “I’m tired of getting yelled at,” Wheels tells him, like it’s his fault somehow. Meanwhile on Wheels’ other side, Snake stares.

“Can’t you sneak out?” Joey suggests, and Snake adds a whispered ‘yeah’ . Not like him really, to endorse such brazen disobeying their parents, but he must really want to get the demo recorded too.

“Joey.”

“You can’t let them run your life forever! You’re almost fifteen. I just wanna finish our demo tape. It’ll take an hour.”

C’mon, mouths Snake on the other side of Wheels, and Wheels glances up at him briefly. “One hour?” And it turns out, his parents are going to a movie, they have a couple of hours to work with.

“Alright!” he and Snake clasp hands, and Wheels grins.

This demo is dynamite man, totally worth Wheels having to sneak out of the house. “So Wheels, are you glad you came over?” he asks, and Wheels grins, clearly agreeing.

“Yeah.”

“See the thing about parents is, you can’t take ‘em too seriously,” he says, but that gets them rolling their eyes at him again.

“Easy for you to say, you’re spoiled,” Snake points out, and Joey pulls back, offended.

“I am not!”

But Wheels immediately backs Snake up. “Wanna bet? Your parents let you get away with everything!”

“I mean, look at your equipment Joey,” says Snake, and hey, is it his fault his parents can recognise a future superstar in the making?

“They’re not perfect, you know,” Joey tells them. “They yell at me, they tell me not to do stuff.”

“Yeah, like my dad,” and for a second, Snake’s voice has this dark tone to it. Just for a second.

But the conversation moves on quickly, and Joey tells them as soon as he turns sixteen, he’s moving out. Wheels is all for the idea, but Snake is more reluctant. “No-one to do your laundry?” And okay, Joey may not have thought through all the details, but Snake can’t imagine life without his parents, can he?

He watches as Snake and Wheels walk home side by side, taking a sip from his pop, certain everything is going to work out.

“I just feel so terrible for the guy.”

“Who doesn’t?” But nobody seems to feel worse than Snake. He’s been staring at Wheels all lunch time, watching him stew in his misery. Then why aren’t we sitting with him? This is Raditch’s fault, always having to remind them ‘the bell doesn’t dismiss you, I do’. If Joey had gotten out of class before the grade 9s, he could have gone over to Wheels first and dared Snake to keep avoiding him, but instead he came to the cafeteria to discover them sitting as far apart as possible while still in each other’s direct eyeline, and had to make a choice. He figured Wheels would probably just yell at him again, so here he is.

“I have to force myself to look at him,” Snake continues, and really, that has never been a problem before.

Just to make things worse, BLT interrupts them. “Hey guys, wanna go shoot some baskets?” And Snake lashes out.

“What’s the matter with you? Don’t you have any feelings?!” Joey frowns. Hey man, don’t take it out on BLT, he didn’t do anything, but BLT just looks back over his shoulder toward Wheels with them.

“Yeah I got feelings. I feel terrible alright,” he says. “That’s why I gotta go shoot baskets.”

He walks off, leaving the two of them alone again. Snake sighs. “What’s the matter with me? I mean, he’s my friend.” But when Wheels chances a glance at them, Snake hurriedly looks away.

Joey stares at him for a second. It feels like something is clicking, connecting in his brain. But quick as a flash, it’s gone.

Wheels gets up and storms out. Snake stares after him as he goes.

“Wheels?” Joey asks as Wheels does not look at him, sullen and silent before his locker. “Wheels, come on, I thought we were friends.”

“Yeah. Like Snake right.” And internally, Joey curses. Goddammit Snake, like this wasn’t hard enough already? “He won’t even talk to me.”

“He doesn’t know what to say,” Joey insists, and really, you’d think Snake could at least make his own crappy excuses.

“No one talks to me! All they do is stare.”

Well I’m talking to you, thinks Joey, even as Wheels shoves him and lays out how this is all his fault. “You messed it up! You made me go to your house. It wouldn’t have happened if I’d gone to the movie.”

Wheels can’t really believe that, can he? “You couldn’t have stopped it,” he says, but Wheels doesn’t listen, continuing to push him around. “Wheels, nobody knew they were gonna die. If you’d gone to the movie, you’d be dead too. You don’t wanna be dead.”

“Yes I do!” and the first punch drives all the thoughts from Joey’s mind.

“Joey!” Mom cries out in dismay when she sees him come home all battered and bruised. “What happened?”

“Nothing Mom,” he insists, but of course she doesn’t buy that for a second, coming over to fuss over him. God, forget all that stupid stuff he said about moving out as soon as he’s sixteen, what would he ever do without her?

“Was it that Dwayne boy? Did he do this to you?”

Joey shakes his head. He thinks Dwayne transferred to a real high school this year. Small mercies. “No, it wasn’t Dwayne,” he says. “It was Wheels.”

Mom gawps slightly. “Wheels did this?” And of course, Mom’s known Wheels almost as long as he has, knows they’re best friends, has always known him to be such a nice boy. She can’t believe he’d be capable of this.

“It isn’t his fault Mom,” Joey insists. “It’s just, with his parents… he’s really not coping.”

Mom stares, clearly torn in two. “Of course, I feel terrible for the poor boy,” she says. “But that’s no excuse for hurting you.”

“You don’t understand Mom,” says Joey. “I have to be there for him.” If nobody else will.

“Snake, man, you have to talk to him!”

“I can’t, okay!”

Joey sighs in frustration. How many times are they gonna have to have this conversation? “Snake, it has been weeks. ‘I don’t know what to say’ only works as an excuse for so long.” He pauses, while Snake looks away, guilty. “I mean I can talk to him, and he beat me up. Why can’t you?”

For all the times they’ve had this conversation, Joey hasn’t asked Snake that before. Snake looks pained as he tries to answer. “It’s just… every time I look at him,” he begins, “I feel so awful. Seeing him so miserable, it breaks something in me. I wish I could make it all go away, but I can’t, and I can’t stand to face him knowing that. It’s like — it’s like every time I look at him, it’s happening to me too.”

Joey frowns. Okay, everyone feels bad for Wheels, but Snake — Snake feels bad with Wheels. That’s weird.

“Snake, man, that sucks,” he begins, “but get over it.” Snake stares at him in shock, and Joey shrugs. “Your parents aren’t dead. His are.” He pauses. “He needs you man.”

Snake must take his words to heart, as a day later, he observes them talking in the hallway. He can’t hear what they’re saying, but he does see how Wheels, for the first time in weeks, smiles.

Joey smiles too, feeling rather pleased with himself. Joey Jeremiah — okay, maybe not the best driver, but a good friend.

“Snake man, you’re gonna have to give Spike her baby back eventually, or she’s gonna call the cops on you.”

“Shut up, Joey,” Snake tells him, while Emma gurgles happily in his arms. Joey and Wheels share a look. Honestly, looking at him you’d think he was the dad, not Shane (Shane did at least get to hold Emma, which was nice to see). Joey doesn’t think he’s ever seen Snake look so besotted with anyone.

“Hey Emma,” he coos at her smiling face, apparently not worried about embarrassing himself. “My name’s Snake, I’m a friend of your mom’s. Would you like to be my friend?” and Emma grins at him.

A funny look crosses Wheels’ face again. Joey wonders if it’s hard for him, seeing Spike and her new baby, so much like the baby he was when he was given up – Spike and Mike even have the same last name – to the parents he so recently lost. And at Christmas too. Jeez.

“Snake?” Wheels says, softly. “You’re really good with kids, you know that?”

Snake blinks. “I guess I’ve never really thought about it,” he says. But it’s becoming apparent, he is. “But thanks.”

Wheels smiles, and at just that moment, Emma starts to cry.

“Have you seen Caitlin?” he asks Snake after Liz, having finished her agreed upon dance with him, is making her way back to her friends. “I promised her a dance.”

“Uh, can’t say I have,” says Snake, but he looks dubious. “Weren’t you just dancing with Liz?”

Joey shrugs. “What, I can only dance with the one girl now? What am I, a monk?” Technically monks aren’t supposed to dance with any girls, but whatever. “Anyway, it’s not like that with me and Caitlin. We’re just friends.” Okay, Caitlin is beautiful. And smart. And funny, in her own quiet, bookish way. But still, she’s too pure, too perfect for him. He’d be scared of breaking her somehow. He wonders if that’s why Snake always gets so nervous every time he asks out Melanie.

Snake raises his eyebrows, clearly not believing him. Still, he doesn’t push the issue, instead falling quiet as he’s clearly thinking about something else. “I wish Wheels was here,” he mutters. Oh, right, Wheels again. Well Joey should be relieved they’re still talking, even if it’s always a downer. “I tried to get him to come, but…”

But Wheels still isn’t ready for fun things like dances, or girls. Joey grimaces slightly. “Well hey, maybe you should have tried asking him properly,” he says. “If you’d promised him a dance, maybe that’d give him reason to show.”

"Joey!"

Joey laughs. Okay, the teasing is a little unfair, but still – ever since Snake said all that stuff about Yick and Arthur, Joey can’t help making fun of him, just to see how red he gets. Hey, Snake shouldn’t dish it out if he can’t take it.

It’s not fair really, that Joey should be the one having to do all the hard work of promoting the band, while Wheels and Snake just coast on the backs of his effort – Wheels at least has an excuse, and sure, he might say he’s quit, but Joey’s sure he’ll change his mind once he’s come out of his funk. Wheels is the heart of the Zit Remedy, he always has been.

But Snake, what the hell is with Snake? He doesn’t even seem interested when Joey tries to tell him about his job at the radio station. “I hid the demo under the program manager’s pot plant this time, Cindy will never notice. As soon as he hears it though–”

“Great,” Snake mutters at him as they make their way down the steps, not even looking at Joey. 

Joey frowns. He’s starting to get annoyed with him.

“What’s the matter with you, do you not wanna be famous anymore? C’mon, you’ll thank me once we’re drowning in groupies–”

“Look, I don’t care about the demo, and I don’t care about the stupid band Joey! I’ve got bigger problems!”

Joey pulls back, startled by the outburst, as Snake sits down heavily on the facade outside the school. “Snake?” Okay, Wheels being weird and moody and lashing out at him — that’s just about every time they see him these days, but Snake? This isn’t like him. “You okay man?”

He tries to put a comforting hand on Snake’s shoulder, but Snake shakes him off. “Don’t touch me.”

Joey frowns. “Hey, what’s up?” BLT said something earlier, about Snake acting weird — we were just kidding about, and all of a sudden he acts like he wants to fight me! What was that about?

Snake sighs, seemingly realising that whatever it is, it’s not his fault. “Nothing Joey,” he mutters. “Just… family stuff.”

Joey doesn’t know what that means, but Snake doesn’t seem inclined to elaborate. After a second, he sighs again. “I wish Wheels was here.”

“Yeah man, I miss him too.” And this time, when he puts a hand on Snake’s shoulder, Snake lets him.

“Well that was stupid.”

Wheels is sullen and miserable as ever as he waits outside the principal’s office, in trouble for some fight that happened at Borden. Joey sighs. This being stuck in grade 8 thing still blows, even with Caitlin, not least because stuff keeps happening while the grade 9s are off at Borden, and he keeps having to find out about it after the fact.

Wheels says nothing, so Joey continues. “Seriously, first me, then some guy from Borden? You know parents aren’t like lunch money right, you can’t beat people up until they give you theirs?”

Okay, that was a pretty insensitive thing to say, but the fact Wheels neither laughs nor punches him is probably a bad sign. He just keeps staring off into mid distance, not even looking at Joey. Joey sighs. Maybe he should give up and just ask Snake what happened; they’re practically joined at the hip these days, whenever he’s not around and Wheels actually is. Snake was so relieved when they managed to talk Wheels into coming to the bowling thing, they both were — Wheels likes bowling, even if Snake kicks both their asses at it every time (seriously, for a guy so clumsy, Snake is a really good bowler). Still, fat chance of that now.

“Come on man,” he tries one more time. “I’m your friend. Talk to me.”

Wheels finally turns to look at him, and for a second, it seems he really might say something. But then the bell rings. Goddammit. “You better get to class.”

Joey concedes defeat. He gets up and leaves, but before he goes, he hesitates outside the doorway. He opens his mouth to say something else, but discovers he doesn’t know what to say.

“Snake man, I ought to listen to you more. Okay the date didn’t go as I expected, a bit stickier, but me and Caitlin? I think we’re actually a thing now.”

“Great, Joey,” Snake mutters, sounding less enthused by the news than he expected. Brilliant, he’s in a bad mood again. Joey swears, whenever Wheels isn’t around to be moody and sulking at him, Snake feels the need to pick up the slack.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Snake sighs. “Melanie can’t come to the concert with me,” he says. “Apparently she’s grounded.”

Joey frowns. “What happened?” And Snake just shrugs. He thinks this over. “Well that sucks man. Still, is there someone else you can offer the ticket to?”

“No!” Snake sounds appalled again, of course he does. “I bought the ticket with Melanie’s money, I can’t just give it to another girl, who do you think I am?”

Joey isn’t sure. Who is Snake, really? “Well sure, but what’s she gonna do with it?”

“Sell it?” Snake offers, clearly not that certain himself. “But – even if it was my ticket, that I bought with my own money, I couldn’t just give it to another girl. I’m not like you Joey. I can’t just treat girls like they’re interchangeable.”

“I do not treat girls like they’re interchangeable!” says Joey, the thought of Caitlin kissing his cheek before he left her house – well I paid for the cokes, only fair I get to taste them – still enough to make his heart flutter. “I really did like Liz, and I really like Caitlin. It just took me a second to figure out what was what there.”

Snake says nothing, and Joey stares, again trying to figure him out. Should we ask Wheels if he wants to come to the concert? The memory comes to him completely unprompted. He told Snake there was no point, but he did think it was nice of Snake to still be thinking of him. Snake’s always nice. Mostly.

“So uh,” he says, awkward, “there’s nobody else you’d like to go with, then?”

And he still can’t tell if he’s imagining all the pauses before his friends answer his questions. “No.”

It’s been a stressful couple of days. Joey swears, between Wheels and Shane, he has reached his Worrying About People quota for like, the year.

And of course if he’s worried, Snake’s extra worried, because Snake is worried like ninety per cent of the time, even when there is no good reason to be. They dawdle on their way home from school until it’s almost dark, going over all the same things they’ve spent the last few days discussing. “Do you think Wheels is gonna be okay?” Snake asks him for the millionth time.

Is he? Joey has no idea. The guilt of not telling anyone where he is is starting to get to him, but would the guilt of betraying Wheels’ trust be worse? “Of course he is,” he says, doing his best to project confidence. Snake is worried enough as is, the last thing he needs is Joey making it worse. “Wheels is tough, he can take care of himself.”

“Wheels isn’t tough,” says Snake. “He’s sullen and he doesn’t talk to anyone about his problems, and he tells himself that’s the same thing.”

Joey stares at him. Snake has a point, but a voice at the back of his head whispers that maybe Snake isn’t one to judge over not talking to people about your problems.

“Well hey, maybe it’ll all work out,” he says, as if saying the words will make them true. “Maybe Mike will take him in after all. They are blood. That’s gotta be worth something.”

Snake remains silent for a long moment before he speaks. “I just, I don’t understand it,” he mutters. “I know he was unhappy, but actually choosing to leave home? Who does that?”

Joey frowns, once again getting the sense there’s something Snake’s not telling him. He remembers walking home on a night not entirely unlike tonight, side by side with Wheels back before they had reasons to worry about him. But Joey was worried. Wheels? Is there something going on with you? he asked. What could possibly be going on with me? Wheels answered.

He is worried about Wheels. But also, he realises, he’s worried about Snake.

“Look Snake, you like who you like, but you gotta acknowledge, your taste in chicks is weird.” Snake rolls his eyes, and Joey knows he should leave him alone about this, but he can’t seem to help himself, it’s like he’s picking at a scar. “I mean you have Allison – blonde, buxom, model pretty, the kind of girl every guy in the school likes – crickets. Then you have Melanie – gangly, awkward, skinny as a beanpole–”

“You just described me, Joey,” Snake points out.

Joey blinks at him. “Wait, is that why you like Melanie? Because she’s like you if you were a chick? Because that’s kind of even weirder dude.”

Snake says nothing, he just looks away. Joey frowns, yet more thoughts scratching at the back of his brain. “You didn’t even like Steph, and every guy liked Steph. Even Wheels liked Steph, and Wheels never likes a chick.”

That makes Snake double take. “What does that mean?”

“...Nothing,” says Joey. “Just, he doesn’t talk much about the girls he likes. He keeps that kinda private.” He thinks that’s all it means.

Snake swallows hard, looking away again. “He might have bigger things to worry about,” he mutters.

“I guess,” Joey admits, and decides to be gracious and take the out from the conversation. “But hey, he’s been doing a lot better lately. Guess Port Hope was good for him, in a way. And all that study help you’re giving him, I think that’s helping too, thanks to you he might actually pass the year.”

He means that as a compliment, but Snake flinches at it for some reason. He swears he can no longer predict how either of his best friends are gonna react to anything.

Joey sighs. “Look, I’m sorry for giving you a hard time about Melanie, alright?” he says. “I just, I don’t really understand–”

“Yeah well maybe I’m just–” Snake stops halfway through his sentence, swallowing something back, “–not normal.”

Joey stares at him. Clearly, he thinks, but it feels cruel to say it out loud.

Snake and Wheels have been joined at the damn hip ever since Wheels decided to start attending school again, as Snake has made it his personal mission to save Wheels’ year, and so he’s not surprised to find them in the resource centre during study period as soon as they get back from Borden.

Still, he doesn’t mind adding himself to the conversation. “So, I saw BLT in the principal’s office,” he begins. “Is he in trouble or something?”

Snake and Wheels share a look, then Wheels nods. “Yeah,” he says, “he got in a fight while we were at Borden.”

Joey swears, the next time the buses for Borden leave, he’s just gonna sneak aboard and find out what goes down there for himself. “What happened?”

“Some guy called him something,” says Wheels, matter of fact. “A word.”

“What word?”

Wheels rolls his eyes. “The word, Joey.”

Joey’s jaw drops open in outrage as he realises what Wheels means. “Wait, and BLT’s in trouble for that? That’s not fair!” He still remembers Nonno’s stories of being spat at in the shipyards and called a dago, how he couldn’t even get a job in this country until he changed his name.

“BLT shouldn’t have started the fight,” says Snake, and of course Snake wouldn’t get it, the whitest guy alive.

“Well yeah man, but how would you react if someone called you something like that?”

Snake says nothing, and Joey frowns, remembering that time BLT said Snake wanted to fight him, for some reason. He never did figure out what that was about.

Wheels sees fit to defuse the tension. “Well I got off pretty easy for getting in fights at Borden, hopefully he will too.” Joey chuckles. Wheels isn’t in much of a position to judge. “Anyway, it’s not all bad for BLT right now. I heard he and Michelle are going to the dance together.”

Huh. Joey is a little surprised by that. It is good news, but… “I hope her parents are okay with that,” he says. “He’s taking a risk if they’re not.”

“Can you blame him?” muses Snake. “Michelle is very pretty.”

Joey gives him a look. “Snake man, you finally moving on from Melanie?”

“What, no!” Snake almost sounds offended by the idea. “No, I still like Melanie, I’m just saying — objectively, Michelle is very pretty.”

Joey is a little bemused, but he shrugs it off. It’s not like Snake and Melanie are married or anything, they’re not even going out, Snake’s allowed to look at other girls. Even if he doesn’t realise it.

“So, are you gonna go after Caitlin?”

“I don’t know, are you gonna go after Melanie?”

“Guys?” Wheels interrupts them as Snake and Joey discuss their respective girl dilemmas, but Snake ignores him.

“I don’t know, I mean it’s kind of soon in the relationship–”

“Guys! Guys!” Wheels becomes more insistent, impossible to ignore. “This is getting kinda heavy.”

Joey isn’t sure why Wheels is carrying the beer anyway; he sort of volunteered as soon as he saw Snake’s spindly noodle arms struggling to cope. Joey’s just glad he doesn’t have to do it. Still, he’s not without pity, so they agree to take a break to let Wheels rest and recover. And hey, if they’re trying to relax…

Snake is nervous as he offers him the beer, wanting to split one. Wheels outright refuses. Man, his friends are such buzzkills. Still, Snake concedes the point when he points out it’s less for Wheels to carry, and Wheels grins watching them drink. He has been doing so much better ever since he came back from Port Hope, even if he and Snake are constantly talking about grade 9 stuff that flies right over Joey’s head.

Wheels wraps his coat tighter around himself as Snake swallows his beer. “It’s getting kinda cold,” he comments, and he’d be warmer with a little booze in his system.

“Stop being such a wuss and have a beer,” he says, but Wheels refuses again, surprisingly vehement. “What’s the problem?”

“My parents were killed by a drunk driver.”

Silence. Shit. Joey then realises what an asshole he’s been, pushing drink on Wheels – he’s almost as bad as Luke getting Shane to try acid (and god, poor Shane, Joey’s gonna say no to drugs for the rest of his life). Still, if Wheels didn’t want to drink Joey wonders why he went along with this in the first place. Snake, you could pass for twenty one, Joey remembers him saying in the corridors.

Snake says nothing, leaving Joey to face the music alone. “Look, I don’t care if you guys drink,” and god, that sounds like the Wheels he used to know, who was always so nice, before all this happened. “I just don’t want any myself.”

Joey puts his hand on Wheels’ shoulder to comfort him. “You still think about them a lot, don’t you?”

Wheels nods. “Christmas was rough.” And yeah, Joey remembers that, sitting around awkwardly with his parents, Wheels’ grandparents and Wheels, watching him get in a staring match with his mother’s turkey like it had wronged him personally somehow. Still, maybe it’s been long enough that Wheels is finally ready to talk.

Then the cops come and bust them up. Typical.

“So, L.D huh?”

Wheels seems embarrassed as Joey approaches him at the dance. “We’re just friends,” he insists.

Joey raises his eyebrows, not buying that. “I told you I thought she liked you, right?” Wheels doesn’t answer that, he looks away. “So man, did you ask her or did she ask you?”

“Joey!”

“What, I’m just curious.” Wheels doesn’t answer the question however, and Joey sighs. “What’s the big deal anyway?”

It takes Wheels a second to respond. “It’s just…” he meets Joey’s eye again. “If I did like L.D,” and oh, that must mean he does, “you wouldn’t make fun of me, right? You know, for liking a girl who’s…”

Joey stares as he tries to work out what Wheels might mean. “I told you I thought I was wrong about her being gay, right?” he asks, and Wheels looks away again. Okay, it’s a reasonable thing to be worried about, given how much they all make fun of each other for the sorts of girls they like, but Wheels is no innocent there. “C’mon man, of course I wouldn’t. I just wanna see you happy again.” He slaps Wheels lightly on the shoulder. “After the year you’ve had…”

It’s funny to remember the beginning of this year, when he was so sure it’d be the worst year of his life. Wheels smiles at him slightly. Joey returns the smile, before he stops, starting to sniff.

“Do you smell smoke?”

“Joey!”

It’s a summer Saturday and Joey just wants to know if Snake’s available to hang out, but he has to overreact. Snake sounds so relieved to see him these days. Joey doesn’t see what the big deal is, he was only missing for about thirty seconds. The way Snake and Caitlin carry on, you’d think they’d had to drag him from the burning building themselves.

“Hey man,” says Joey, “listen, you wanna go see a movie? I asked Wheels, but he has counselling.”

It probably is good for Wheels, going back to counselling, but it sure seems to take up a lot of time. Snake pulls a face. “Can’t. Me and my parents, we’re heading up to Montreal this afternoon. To go visit my grandma, you know?”

Joey pulls back, none too pleased to think of the one of his best friends who is usually around being that far away. “Montreal? Jeez, how long are you gonna be there?”

“I’ll be back next Friday,” says Snake, and well, that’s something. “Tell you what, why don’t we go do something then?”

“...Friday?” Joey pulls a face. “Can’t man, I’ve got a date with Caitlin.” And it’s still strange to him to think he actually has a girlfriend, who he goes on dates with regularly.

“Oh,” says Snake, and he actually looks disappointed. Joey feels the urge to soften the blow for him somehow.

“Well hey, I bet you and Melanie have plans as soon as you get back, right?”

Snake looks away. “I think me and Melanie are just gonna be friends from now on.”

Joey blinks, confused. “What, why?” Snake doesn’t answer. “Snake man, you’ve been crazy about that girl for over a year. Now you’ve got your chance, you’re just gonna give up?”

Snake hesitates. “It’s just… maybe it’s not fair on her. Maybe I need to be on my own for a while, while I figure things out.”

Okay, he knows Snake has a tendency to be old before his time, but even so. “Snake, you’re fifteen, not fifty. It’s okay to go on a few dates with a girl while you’re still figuring out what exactly you want this to be.”

“I’ve been on a few dates with Melanie, and none of them have exactly worked out.” Joey nods, thinking of the fire again – wait, is this because of him? Is Snake too afraid to date Melanie because he thinks Joey will get hurt somehow? Because that’s insane. “Just… all the disasters we’ve had, and now the fire… Maybe, maybe I’m doing something wrong. Maybe I’m being punished.”

What? “What could you possibly be being punished for?” Snake doesn’t answer that. “What are you trying to figure out anyway?” He doesn’t answer that either.

Joey sighs, frustrated. “Snake man,” he says, “is there something going on with you?”

Finally Snake answers one of his questions – with another question. “What could possibly be going on with me?”

And Joey has no idea. But this time, he’s not so sure it will work itself out.

Chapter Text

“You guys reckon it’s true about Erica?”

It does seem fitting somehow, that they would start high school and immediately a rumour starts going around that one of their friends has had an abortion. That seems like the sort of thing that would happen at high school. Wheels glares at him. “It’s none of our business whether it’s true or not,” he says, and okay, sure, but still you’d think he, with all his adoptee-turned-orphan issues, would at least have an opinion.

“I hope it’s not,” Snake muses. “I mean, you heard all that Heather said in class, right?”

Joey and Wheels share a confused look. “No?” Joey’s in grade 9 English, and Wheels is in the vocational program. You’d think Snake would remember that.

“Let’s just say, she’s very anti-abortion,” Snake explains. “Talking about how their church says it's wrong.” He pauses. “I doubt her parents are any more understanding. If it is true, they might kick her out over it.”

Joey pulls back, and Wheels seems equally bemused he would make such an assumption. “Snake man,” he asks, “where did that come from?”

Snake says nothing.

This isn’t fair. He could probably talk either one of them out of dropping out of the Zits on their own, but if it’s two against one? “You never listen to our ideas, we never have any say,” Wheels says, and Snake immediately backs him up.

“Yeah, it’s the Joey Jeremiah show; thanks, but no thanks.”

“Look, I know I should have checked with you guys before arranging the girls, and the money.” And really, you’d think they didn’t want girls in bikinis in their video.

“You should have told us about the script!”

“Look, would you stop a minute? Lemme – stop.” Finally, he gets them to stop. “Look, I’m sorry okay? I made a mistake. From now on, it’s our band and our ideas.”

They share a look and speak in sync. “Our money?”

Reluctantly, Joey nods. “Yeah okay, our money,” he says. “Gimme one more chance, please?”

They share another look. “Okay,” says Wheels, and Joey grins.

Snake hesitates a moment longer, but looks at Wheels and goes along with it. “Alright.”

Joey grins wider and grabs him by the shoulder. “Great, thanks! I’ve got this fabulous idea–”

“Uh, Joey,” Snake interrupts him before letting Wheels take over.

“We got this fabulous idea.”

When they put their arms around him, rattling off their fabulous idea for a video where he’s taped to the flagpole, it still feels like it’s two against one.

A loud sneeze grabs their attention in the middle of the corridor. L.D, of course it’s L.D. “She’s had that cold for awhile,” Snake muses, and yeah, L.D’s been pretty sick lately, always tired, having fevers and chills. “You don’t think there’s something really wrong, do you?”

Joey shakes his head, not wanting to imagine anything terrible. “Probably just the flu or something. She shouldn’t be at school though, what if she gives it to us?”

“Joey, if she was off school for as long as she’s been sick, she’d be in serious trouble for missing that much class,” Wheels points out, and well, he’s the expert. L.D has been sick for a long time. Maybe Snake is right, maybe something is seriously wrong.

He does his best to shake such a scary thought away, to distract himself. “Well hey, not if someone stops by to bring her her make up work,” he says, nudging Wheels’ shoulder. “Who knows, maybe she’ll recover faster with a strapping young man taking care of her, feeding her chicken soup–”

“Joey.” Wheels pulls away from him, to Joey’s surprise. “Me and L.D – we’re just friends.”

Joey raises his eyebrows. “You sure that’s how she sees it? Pretty sure I’ve seen her pointing Lucy’s camera your way more than a couple of times.” Wheels looks away, and Joey frowns. “What’s wrong, I thought you liked her?”

Wheels rolls his eyes. “I asked a question, about what you’d do if I liked her. That doesn’t mean I do.”

Joey is confused. Doesn’t it? On the other side of him, Snake feels fit to add something. “So, you don’t?”

Wheels pauses before he answers. “I couldn’t date a girl like L.D,” he mutters. Why? “She’s like… one of the guys.”

“Hey Joey.”

Joey looks up from where he’s lying on his bed and moping when his bedroom door swings open. “Wheels?” he blinks, confused. “What are you doing here?”

Wheels shrugs. “You sounded kinda upset on the phone,” he says, and oh, Joey thought he was hiding it pretty well. He should have known Wheels would see right through him. “I thought I’d come check up on you.” And gee, if Wheels is thinking about him to that extent, he must be doing better. Joey should be relieved, even if he doesn’t really wanna talk himself right now. “You okay?”

Joey sighs. He supposes they’re gonna find out eventually. “It’s Caitlin,” he admits. “I uh, I don’t think we’re gonna be seeing each other anymore.”

“Oh.” Wheels clearly isn’t surprised, and that hurts – okay he saw it coming too, but he tried so hard not to. “I’m sorry man. What happened?”

“I think she met someone else,” Joey mutters. “That Claude guy.”

“What, that loser?” Wheels says as he sits down next to Joey on the bed. “Then don’t worry about her. She’s clearly crazy. I mean, what does she even see in him?”

It’s meant to cheer him up, obviously, but it doesn’t really work. “You don’t understand Wheels,” he says. “I don’t – I don’t just like Caitlin,” he says, to Wheels’ confused expression. “I think I’m in love with her.”

Wheels looks skeptical. “Joey, you’re sixteen,” he points out. “What do you know about love?”

“What do you?!” Joey snaps at him. “What do you know about chicks anyway?!”

Wheels looks away, and Joey almost feels guilty, though he’s not quite sure why. “Sorry man,” he mutters. “I shouldn’t snap at you. It’s not your fault.”

“Well hey, who am I to judge?” Wheels nudges his shoulder slightly, and Joey chuckles. “C’mon, you’ll get past this. She’s just one girl. Plenty of fish in the sea, right?”

“Right,” says Joey, but he can’t quite make himself believe it. It feels like he almost caught a mighty trout, and now no tiny little minnow is ever gonna compare.

Wheels sighs as he checks his watch. “Okay I better head home, I told my grandma I wouldn’t be long,” he says. “But are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” And as Wheels turns to leave, Joey calls after him. “Wheels?”

“Yeah?”

Joey smiles at him. “Thanks for checking up on me.”

Wheels smiles back. “Hey, what are friends for?”

“So, you guys wanna rehearse after school?” Snake asks Wheels and Joey as they walk through the corridors. “Feels like we haven’t done much since we shot the video.”

Truth be told Joey’s not been in much of a mood to rehearse ever since his break up with Caitlin, but Snake’s right, they can’t let their skills get rusty now, when they’re on the cusp of their big break. But then he remembers: “Can’t guys, I’m meeting someone in the resource centre after school,” he tells them. “To work on our presentation on Romeo and Juliet.”

“What do you mean, you have to give a presentation?” Wheels asks him. “With who?”

Joey swallows, hoping to put off the humiliation as long as possible. “Caitlin,” he says, and they share a look. “What?”

“Joey, she dumped you,” Wheels is, as ever, quick to drag him down to earth. “You need to move on.”

Okay, he’s right but– “Hey, it wasn’t my idea!” he insists. “She’s the one who volunteered to partner with me. Maybe that means she’s not as over it as she thinks she is, y’know?”

Snake and Wheels share another look. “Sure,” they say, and he can tell they think he’s getting his hopes up, and he’s gonna get crushed again. But they’re not gonna stop him. Joey sighs.

“Anyway, I’d offer to help, but I have blanked out everything about Romeo and Juliet since last year, thank god,” Wheels says, and Snake rolls his eyes.

“You were barely in class when we were studying it anyway,” he points out, and right, that was last year, Wheels’ year from hell. “But you have to remember something, it’s one of the most famous plays of all time! C’mon, tell me if you remember this one.”

He strides ahead a little, turning around to face them. “But soft, what light through yonder window breaks!” And huh, that’s the same monologue he’ll have to perform. Well at least he can say he’s a better actor than Snake. Wheels laughs. “It is the east, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief,” Wheels smile wavers a little at that, but Snake doesn’t seem to notice, “that thou her maid art more fair than she, be not…” he trails off, seemingly realising what he’s doing, reciting Shakespeare in the middle of the halls for no real reason. “Um, I’ve forgotten the next line.”

Wheels stares up at him. “She speaks, yet she says nothing,” he murmurs. “What of that?”

No, you guys have definitely missed a bit, thinks Joey, but lingering behind them like this, it feels like they’ve forgotten about him. Snake’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “So you do remember it?”

Wheels shrugs. “Bits and pieces, I guess.”

“Uh, guys?” Joey interrupts them, gaining their attention back. “How is this helping me with my presentation?”

Snake shrugs. “Did I say I was trying to help?” And Joey rolls his eyes. Still, he stays a step or two back from them as they walk on, watching how their hands dangle centimetres apart. See how she leans her cheek upon her hand, he thinks. O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek.

Man, he gets sick at the worst times. He’s still not entirely sure L.D didn’t give it to him, although if she’s had to go to hospital, she probably does have something more serious than the flu. He did just have the flu though, and he’s better now – at least Mom let him stay home while he was sick, but that means he has to come back to school having missed out on a whole lot.

Like, for instance, his best friend finally getting somewhere with a chick.

“Wheels, my man!” he says as he sits down across the table from him and Snake in the cafeteria. “What’s it like being the school stud?”

You’d think Wheels might look a little proud of himself, but instead he just glares. “What are you talking about, Joey?”

“You and Heather!” Joey tells him. “The whole school’s talking about it.”

Wheels rolls his eyes. “Great.”

Joey frowns, thrown by his reaction. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Wheels doesn’t answer, but Snake does. “He didn’t call her.” Wheels turns that glare on him, like Snake just snitched, and Snake shrugs.

Joey’s not sure what to make of that, really. “Couldn’t work out what to say, huh?” he suggests. Wheels doesn’t answer. “Well hey, it’s cool. Just think of an excuse, tell her you were visiting relatives–” okay, that’s maybe less of an option for Wheels than most people, “–or something, and I’m sure she’ll forgive you. Chicks are easy man.”

He assumes he’s about to get made fun of for his unceasing pining for Caitlin again (and hey, he is getting over her, okay), but that’s not Wheels’ reaction. “Joey, I don’t – I don’t want to go out with her,” he says.

“Oh.” Joey is a bit surprised by that. He’s seen them talking together in the corridors and stuff, they always seemed to get along really well. He thinks they’d make a cute couple. “Why not?”

“Because I just don’t,” Wheels tells him. “Does there have to be a reason?”

Joey blinks. “Well, no, I guess not,” he says. “But like, you must be at least a little bit into her, I mean, you hooked up with her for a reason–”

“Look, I don’t wanna talk about it, okay Joey!” Wheels snaps at him. “I don’t wanna talk about Heather!”

Joey is thrown by the reaction, Wheels getting moody and snapping at him again. He really hasn’t been like that this year. “Okay, jeez,” he says. “I was just curious.”

Wheels sighs, frustrated. “I better go,” he says, hurriedly stuffing the rest of his sandwich in his mouth before he gets up, stomping off to wherever it is he goes when he’s in one of his moods like this.

So he turns to Snake, confused. “What’s up with him?”

“Beats me,” says Snake, continuing to pick at his own lunch, and he should have known Snake wouldn’t give him a straight answer either.

Joey sighs, thinking a bit more. “It’s a shame though, I mean, I think they’d make a cute couple. Heather seems like a good influence.” Snake says nothing, and Joey gives him a look.

“Do you know why he doesn’t want to go out with her?”

“…No,” says Snake, and Joey doesn’t even bother trying to work out whether he’s imagining the hesitation anymore. “I guess she’s just — not his type or something.”

Right, Heather, with her reddish hair, good grades and nervous disposition, isn’t Wheels’ type. Joey frowns. Something is scratching at the back of his head again.

“It’s gonna be dynamite man, fully naked chicks, I can’t wait—“ but Snake zones out as Joey blathers in excitement, and he frowns, waving a hand in front of his face. “Hey, Earth to Snake? We’re not at the strip club yet, what are you staring at?”

“I think Melanie likes Luke,” Snake mutters.

Joey blinks, surprised. “Oh?” He looks over his shoulder to where Snake is staring, and sure enough he sees Melanie, also staring, toward where Luke and Yick are talking outside their lockers. He turns back to Snake. “Well I mean, you’ve barely talked to that girl all year,” he points out, as gently as he can. “I don’t think you can be mad at her for moving on.” He still remembers all that weird stuff Snake said about he and Melanie were just going to be friends, about needing to be on his own to figure stuff out – he never did work out what all that was about.

“No, I’m not mad, I just…” Snake sighs. “I’m surprised, that’s all. I wouldn’t have thought he was her type. I mean, me and him, we don’t exactly have a lot in common.”

Joey thinks this over for a second. Right, Luke is the smoking, drug-taking, troublemaking bad boy, and Snake is, well, Snake. He shrugs. “I dunno man,” he says, again thinking of Caitlin, how he never would have thought he’d find himself falling so hard for the bookish, serious type. “Sometimes people have broader tastes than you give them credit for.”

“...I guess,” says Snake, avoiding his eye.

This is so unfair. It was his idea to go to the strip club after all, and he’s the one who missed out? And to add insult to injury, his friends won’t even believe him about the hot chick who tried to pick him up. Okay, when that happened it actually mostly just freaked him out, but still, it’s the principle of the thing.

So he doesn’t feel bad about bugging Wheels, trying to live vicariously through him, the same way he did when he thought Wheels was gonna make it with Steph. “C’mon man, what was she like?” he asks. “Was she hot?”

Wheels rolls his eyes. “Uh, yeah Joey, she was a stripper. I don’t think they hire ugly girls for that.”

“Oh you know what I mean,” says Joey. “Was she tall, short, blonde, brunette, skinny, curvy, gimme some details here.”

“Joey.”

“What?” He doesn’t get it, Wheels was only too happy to rub his face in their strip club adventures when Snake was here, why is he acting so coy now? Really, Wheels was pretty enthusiastic about the whole thing for someone who’s usually pretty quiet about girls. Maybe, since the incident with Heather… But Joey’s thought fades into nothing before he can complete it.

Wheels stares at him for a moment. “Joey, can I be honest with you?”

Joey frowns, a little confused by the serious look that’s crossed Wheels’ face. “Uh, sure man.”

Wheels ducks behind their lockers, like he’s about to reveal a secret or something. “It’s just… we didn’t really get to see anything,” he says. “We uh, we got kicked out kinda fast. Before the girl took anything off.”

“Oh.” Well that’s a relief, he guesses, that they missed out almost as much as he did. Still, he doesn’t know why Wheels is making such a big deal of it. “Sorry man, that’s a shame.”

Wheels stares at him. “Yeah,” he says. “It’s a shame.”

“Is she asleep?”

It’s a bit of a surprise to enter the resource centre and see Michelle, of all people, slumped over her textbooks. “Looks like it,” Wheels says, and she doesn’t stir when she hears them talking about her, so she probably is.

Snake frowns, confused. “What should we do, should we wake her up?”

Joey doesn’t know really, but Wheels shakes his head. “I think we should leave her alone, this might be the only time she gets to sleep.” Joey gives him a puzzled look, and Wheels explains. “Yeah, I heard she moved out of home, so she’s been working real hard to afford rent.”

“What, why?” Wheels shrugs, and Joey thinks. “Is it about BLT? Did her dad – really not approve or something?”

“Maybe?” comments Wheels.

“So what,” says Snake, “she moved out,” Actually choosing to leave home, who does that? Joey remembers him saying, “to stay with him?”

“I guess,” Wheels says, while Snake stares at Michelle like he’s never seen her before.

“Wow. She must be so brave.”

“Of course you’d go and crash the car because the instructor was a hot chick.”

“What, that is not the reason I crashed!” Joey insists while he and Snake are sat in his mom’s car, practicing before their next attempt at the test. “We both failed, okay, you are in no position to be judging me.” Wheels probably would have failed too, if he could have taken the test, but he’s still too young and so has had no issue rubbing their failures in their faces. Snake seems to feel the need to prove something to him, for some reason.

“Whatever Joey,” mutters Snake. “Let me focus on working out how to work the clutch, okay?”

Joey frowns at him. “Snake man, why are you so obsessed with learning to drive stick anyway?” he asks. “Aren’t automatic transmissions the way of the future?”

“I am not obsessed!” Snake insists, more vehemently than you’d expect. “It’s an important skill Joey, we all ought to know how to do it. I mean, the family car is a manual, I’ll need to know how to drive that, won’t I?”

“...I guess,” says Joey, watching how Snake’s hand clutches around the gearstick, like he doesn’t want to let it go. But he does, and then the car surges off way too fast, and Snake has to slam on the brakes before they crash into anything.

“Snake,” he says, “I think you should have held onto that longer.”

Snake glares at him. “Shut up, Joey.”

Joey is a bit surprised when he wanders into the grade 10 corridor and sees Snake talking to Amy, who’s grinning up at him. “So, I’ll meet you out front around 6, and then we’ll head in to the dance.”

“Sounds good.” Snake smiles as she walks away.

“Amy, really?”

Snake frowns as he turns and sees Joey. “What’s wrong with Amy?”

“Nothing, she’s a total babe,” Joey says. “I just didn’t think she was your type, that’s all.” After all, Snake was almost aggressively disinterested in Allison, and Allison and Amy are almost the same.

Snake’s frown deepens. “What’s my ‘type’, Joey?”

Joey shrugs. “You don’t usually go for the blonde bombshells. You’re into the sweet, innocent, girl next door types. Like Melanie.” He pauses for a second. “What did happen with Melanie, anyway? What happened to that ‘needing to be on your own for awhile, while you figured stuff out’ thing?”

He still can’t tell if he’s imagining Snake’s hesitation before he answers. “What, that? That was nothing. I was being stupid.” Joey frowns. Snake’s never been a good liar. If it was so ‘nothing’, why did Snake give up on the girl he’d been crazy about since grade 8 because of it? “I’m perfectly fine to date. I mean, I asked Amy to one dance, I’m not asking her to marry me or anything.”

“…Right,” says Joey. “Well, good luck man,” but he’s still thinking about Melanie. He wonders what it means that Snake can ask out a girl like Amy, but not a girl he really likes like Melanie.

“I’m just not sure I get it,” Joey says as he watches Snake and Amy at the dance, sat with Wheels, as neither of them found a date. “I mean I’m happy for him and all, but — if he’s into Amy, why wasn’t he into Allison? Aren’t they like, two sides of the same coin?”

Wheels just shrugs. “Well you know Snake, his taste in girls is weird.”

Joey frowns. Okay, he’s said as much himself, but now he feels oddly defensive on Snake’s behalf. At least he has a taste in girls, whispers a voice at the back of his head before he can stop it.

Before he can unpack what that means and why he thought it, someone comes flying past in a flood of hysterics. “Heather?” Wheels instinctively calls out to her when she sees the state of her, but from the look on her face when she sees him, it’s clear he is the last person she wants to talk to right now.

Heather storms off, leaving them both a bit stunned. “What was that about?” Wheels wonders aloud.

Joey shrugs. “I dunno. Maybe another guy made out with her then ditched her.”

“Oh, thanks Joey.”

It’s not a surprise when he joins Snake and Wheels in the lunch queue and Snake is still complaining about his failure to get his driver’s license. Snake always takes it hard when he can’t do something he thinks he should have by now. Joey supposes failure doesn’t come naturally to Mr. Straight As. Brooding over his own academic struggles, Joey only has so much sympathy.

Meanwhile Wheels is laughing fondly at Snake’s misadventures. “You went the wrong way up a one way street?” And really, who’s he to be judging, they have no idea what he’s like at driving yet.

“The tester told me to turn, how am I supposed to know they’re allowed to trick you?” Snake sulks. Joey probably shouldn’t make fun of him, but he can’t seem to help himself.

“Hey Snake, do you wanna see my license?”

Snake glares at him. “Don’t bug me.” And Joey laughs. “What’s wrong with me, why can’t I pass the test, what am I, dumb or something?”

“Yeah.”

Wheels comes straight to Snake’s defense. “Joey, come on.”

“Just kidding.” And of course he’s just kidding, he wouldn’t say it if he wasn’t just kidding, if he didn’t know all too well that Snake is smarter than the two of them combined.

“I’ll probably never pass. I’ll probably have to walk for the rest of my life.” God, Snake can be such a drama queen sometimes. That makes Joey feel less bad about making fun of him.

“You can take the bus.” Snake glares again. “Snake, relax, you’ll get your license next time. Trust me.”

“This guy needs to see a movie. Something funny,” says Wheels, naturally the one to think of a way to cheer Snake up.

“I can’t,” Joey tells them. “I’ve got this meeting with Walfish.” He doesn’t think they’ll mind going to the movies on their own though. Indeed, as they walk off talking while he heads to meet with Walfish and the psychologist, they seem excited.

“–Look, I am sorry. I know I should have called you, I just, I couldn’t work out what to say.”

Joey doesn’t mean to be eavesdropping. They’re just between takes while Lucy is sorting something out with her camera, and Wheels has taken Heather aside to talk to her for a moment. Guess he couldn’t avoid her forever. It’s the first time they’ve hung out together since the party, it’s impossible not to be curious what he’s gonna say to her.

She isn’t quite meeting his eye. “I really liked you Wheels,” she mutters. “And I thought you liked me back.”

“I do like you!” he insists. “Just… not like that.”

“Then why did you kiss me?”

It seems Wheels doesn’t have a good answer to that question. “I just… got caught up in the moment.” Heather stares at him, and Wheels sighs. “Listen, Heather, I just want us to be friends again,” he tells her. “Can we be friends again?”

It takes her a while to answer. “I don’t know.”

She walks away, leaving Wheels to swallow back his guilt. Joey grimaces sympathetically. “So that could have gone better.”

Wheels turns around, but he doesn’t look mad at Joey for spying, not really. “I guess it’s what I deserve, right?”

“I guess.” Joey sighs. “It does kinda suck though, if you really don’t like her the same way she likes you.” He still doesn’t know why Wheels doesn’t like Heather, but for once he thinks better than to ask.

Wheels just shrugs, and then Lucy calls them back to do another take.

“Snake man, you look ridiculous,” Wheels comments as they’re getting changed after the shoot is done. “Where did Lucy even find those clothes?”

Snake shrugs. “It’s how she found them in my size I’m wondering about,” he comments, and yeah, Snake has enough trouble finding clothes to fit him at the best of times, how did Lucy manage it? Then again, her parents’ money probably helped. “But anyway, at least I have a costume. You just wore a hat.”

“Yeah, that I can get changed in and out of quickly, so I can get out of here.” But he isn’t leaving yet, making idle small talk with Snake in the washroom while Joey tries to figure out how to untie his bowtie. Maybe he’s just waiting for his hair to dry; it’s cold out there. “Also I’m not sure you should wear that flag,” he says, poking the patch on Snake’s arm. “I think that was the flag of someone who did something in World War Two.”

Specific, Wheels, thinks Joey, while Snake seems confused. “Wait, who?”

“I dunno, you’re the smart one.”

Snake sighs. “Well I’m taking it off now anyway,” he says, pulling down his zip before it gets caught at the bottom. He shrugs his shoulders a couple of times to try and loosen it, but no luck. “Ah crap.”

“What, what’s wrong?”

“I think this thing is stuck,” Snake pouts, and Joey laughs, even though he’s having no more luck with his bowtie. “I can’t get the zip undone, and my arms are too long to pull it off otherwise.”

Wheels rolls his eyes. “Let me.” He all but physically turns Snake around, grabbing hold of the back of his jacket. It takes a few tugs, but sure enough it comes away in his hands. “There you go.”

Joey watches how Snake freezes as Wheels peels the jacket off him. He turns around. “Um, thanks.”

Wheels stares at him for a second, before remembering himself. “You’re welcome,” he says, putting the jacket aside, and Joey looks away before it looks like he’s staring.

Joey cannot believe he has this many exams. He swears every time he finishes one, it feels like he gains an extra one, like they’re multiplying or something. He is in quite a mood to complain about this when he observes his best friends in the foyer, bickering about something.

“I’m just saying Snake, I don’t think you’re sick. Or if you are, I doubt it’s anything serious.”

Snake whines. “That’s what L.D thought, and look what happened to her.”

Wheels raises his eyebrows. “What, you think you have leukemia?”

“You never know!”

Wheels rolls his eyes. “You’re just stressed, Snake.” Suddenly, he gets to his feet and walks behind Snake. “Here.”

Snake freezes when Wheels’ hands land on his shoulders. “What are you doing?”

“I’m helping you relax.”

Snake hesitates, but visibly gives into it, eyes flickering shut as Wheels’ fingers rub and stroke all the tension from his muscles. It’s a weirdly intimate gesture, although nobody else seems to have noticed. Joey can’t imagine doing that for another guy. He can remember doing it for Caitlin actually, last summer when they went swimming and she pulled a shoulder muscle.

“There,” Wheels murmurs. “Do you feel any better?”

Snake sighs. “A little.”

“Guys?”

Wheels jumps like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar when he hears him, and Snake hardly looks any less guilty. For a second Joey just stares at them, not sure what to say. “So,” he coughs awkwardly, “what’s up?”

“Not much,” Wheels scoffs. “Snake’s convinced himself he’s got cancer to get out of exams.”

“I am not faking to get out of exams!”

They quickly resume their normal level of bickering, but as he sits down next to them Joey can’t shake the feeling that this time, this time he didn’t miss anything, but he caught something he really shouldn’t have.

Well, at least now it’s his turn to be giving the funny looks.

Chapter Text

He finds Wheels in the foyer, idly browsing one of the AIDS pamphlets they were handing out last week. “Hey man,” he says as Joey sits down next to him. “How’s the car?”

Joey sighs. “I dunno. It looked real cool, but driving it — I think the guy might have spotted a naive high school kid, seen a chance to get rid of a lemon.” Or maybe it’s because you bought it with blood money, Jeremiah. He didn’t want Dwayne’s money, but once he had it, he wasn’t not gonna use it, was he?

And yet, he can’t shake the guilt every time he turns on the ignition.

Wheels grimaces, knowing Joey can’t afford to take it back now. The pamphlet hangs loosely from his fingers.

Joey frowns. “Can I have a look at that?”

“Uh, sure.” Wheels seems confused, but hands over the pamphlet willingly.

Joey grimaces as he looks down at a list of symptoms. Karpusi’s sarcoma, lymphoma, dementia… Jesus, it’s grim stuff. Is all that really gonna happen to Dwayne? He’s never liked the guy, but he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

“You alright Joey?” Wheels asks him, startling him a little. “I thought you were sick of all this AIDS stuff.”

He was, wasn’t he? But it hits a bit closer to home now. “Sorry, I’m just thinking.” Indeed, as he looks at Wheels, he thinks some more. “Wheels man — why are you so interested in this AIDS stuff anyway?”

Wheels gives him a look. “What do you mean?”

Joey shrugs, not entirely sure himself. “I dunno. It just doesn’t seem like the sort of thing you’d think about, that’s all.”

Wheels stares at him. “It’s a serious issue Joey, we should all be worried about it.”

Joey looks away, again thinking of Dwayne and his secret. “Yeah, some of us more than others,” he mutters.

“What the hell does that mean?!”

“What?”

Joey double takes as Wheels, suddenly furious, gets to his feet. “Just leave me alone Joey!” he shouts as he storms off, leaving Joey gobsmacked.

“Wheels!” he shouts to the other boy’s retreating back. “What did I say?!”

“Have you heard? Snake has the hots for Michelle.”

Joey is a little bit surprised. He doesn’t think he’s seen Snake have a proper, real crush on a girl since well, Melanie (which to be fair is more recent than the last time he saw Wheels have a crush on a girl). Still, good for him right?

“I do not!” Snake denies it, poorly. “Announce it over the PA, why don’t you?”

With a cheeky grin, Wheels shouts over the bannisters: “Attention all students! Snake has the hots for Michelle!”

Joey watches as Snake tackles him, the two of them still touching so easily. It’s almost like Wheels said that just to get that reaction.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for him to ask her out,” Wheels muses after they’ve dropped Snake off at his place. Joey doesn’t know why they’re still talking about Snake’s love life at all. “I mean I think she likes him. He needs to get over himself.”

Easy for you to say man, when’s the last time you asked a chick out? “I dunno man, you know Snake. Guy could worry for Canada.” But then he gives Wheels a funny look. “Why are you so invested in Snake getting with Michelle anyway?”

“What?” Wheels asks him. “I think they’d make a cute couple, that’s all.” That’s what I thought about you and Heather, thinks Joey. “I mean, she’s just his type. Snake’s always on the lookout for the delicate, vulnerable types; someone he can take care of and protect. It’s kind of sexist of him, to be honest with you.”

Joey frowns. He thinks Michelle is a tougher cookie than Wheels is giving her credit for, what with the whole having moved out of home to get away from her dad thing. “I think you’ve thought more about what sort of girls Snake is into than I have,” he says.

Wheels frowns. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing!” says Joey, and they stare at each other for a moment. Joey sighs. “Why do you always ask me what I mean? I mean, you know me, I don’t think before I speak! Half the time, I don’t know what I mean.”

“...Right.”

Joey stares at him again, a little bit confused. “So uh,” he says. “You really think he’s got a chance with her?”

“Why not,” Wheels shrugs, not meeting his eye. “She seems to like him.”

Turns out, Snake’s luck on dates hasn’t improved in two years. “Ten minutes into the date and I had her crying?”

“Ten minutes? You’re good,” Joey has to laugh, even as Wheels, naturally, comes to Snake’s defense again.

“Joey.”

“No, he’s right. When I mess up, I do it fast,” Snake sulks. “Well forget it, no more dating. I’ll join a monastery,” there’s that scratching again, “I’ll work with lepers. We’ll get along, we have lots in common.”

Really, it was one bad date. Snake is such a drama queen sometimes. But then Wheels draws his attention to something, nodding toward the fence: “Snake?”

And there stands Michelle. With a reluctant sigh, Snake approaches her.

Joey is still more focused on his car than anything, he can’t hear what Snake and Michelle are talking about. But he can see the way Wheels stares, something unreadable in his eyes.

76 in history! For once, Joey is feeling really, honest to god proud of himself, and with Snake’s marks, no way his parents can claim he doesn’t deserve to go to that concert. They’re both feeling pretty good when they sit down with Wheels in the cafeteria.

Unfortunately Wheels is less happy for him than you would hope. “That’s great. Here, does this look like an old person’s signature to you?”

Joey is confused. “What are you doing?”

Wheels smirks. “What do you think?” he asks. “I can’t let my grandmother see these marks.”

He hands over the report card, and Joey takes a look at it. Eesh, those marks are pretty bad. Still, he can’t say he’s surprised, it’s not like Wheels studies.

The more he thinks about it, he thinks Wheels has been acting weird lately. He’s never been good at school, but now it feels like he doesn’t even care, like he doesn’t see the point. Joey doesn’t know what’s up with him; he hasn’t been like this since, well, grade 9.

He and Snake share a look. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Snake says, and Wheels stares at him for a second.

“Yeah, what if she finds out?” Joey adds, and it’s odd to be the one trying to talk someone else out of a bad idea for once. “I tried that once, remember?”

“I won’t get caught,” Wheels declares, sure as anything. “And there’s no way I’m gonna miss this concert.” He and Snake share another look as Wheels signs the paper.

Sure enough, Wheels isn’t the master forger he imagines himself to be. As they excitedly fill him in that Snake’s parents agreed to let him go to the concert, he’s moody and sulking again. “Man, you are so lucky you have real parents and not a stupid grandmother,” and just for a microsecond, Joey thinks he sees Snake flinch. But it’s gone in a flash.

“What do you mean?” he asks, and Wheels explains.

“I’m grounded for two weeks.”

Right. Well that’s not a surprise. “She found out about the report card?” And that is a bummer, but he can’t say Wheels didn’t bring it on himself.

Wheels walks on ahead of them, grinning. “But I’m still going to the concert.”

Snake, ever so naive, chases after him. “But you can’t, you’re grounded!”

“So? If she wants me to study, I’ll study.” Joey doesn’t like where this is going, no more so when Wheels throws his arm warmly around Snake’s shoulder. “Snake old buddy, you’re smart. Mind if I come over for some tutoring?”

“But you can’t, I’m going to the…” they pull apart as Wheels stares up at Snake, and slowly, as he cottons on, Snake returns his grin. “...Riiiight.”

Joey is disconcerted to find himself the one person here who doesn’t think this is a good idea. “Are you guys sure you wanna do this?” And really, why is he the one trying to talk them out of this, isn’t that usually Snake’s role in the group? But Wheels’ arm around his shoulders seems to have been enough to convince him.

“Joey, I don’t care about her,” Wheels says. “I’m tired of her telling me what to do. From now on, I do what I want.” And Joey thinks do you?

This stupid fucking cursed car.

Joey is trying to get it working again, while Snake leans against the body, sulking. “This is just great. My parents let me go to a concert in the middle of the week, and this happens. Great.”

He finds he is not in much of a mood to listen to Snake and all of his self-pity right now. “Will you relax? I can fix this.”

“I thought it was fixed!” Wheels adds, and oh, it’s two against one again. Brilliant.

“It should be, they charged me enough!” he yells as thunder rumbles in the background. “Come on baby, come on…”

Snake, naturally, overreacts to the thunder as well. “We’ve missed the concert, it’s gonna start raining. Or snow! Maybe an avalanche.”

Joey is so sick of his goddamn melodramatics. He glares at him. “Would you be quiet?”

He tries again and finally, it seems like the car is working. “Yes!” cries Wheels.

“Alright!”

“Yes, yes, yes…”

Then it stops again.

“Oh c’mon!” Joey shouts, “Stupid piece of junk!” He kicks the car in frustration, but only ends up hurting his leg.

The hours drag on as day becomes night, as the promise of rescue comes and goes; some guy promising to call a tow truck, but it never appearing. “Maybe we should start walking,” suggests Wheels.

Joey refuses point blank. “No, I’m not leaving my car.” Not after how he got it. Somehow, abandoning the car seems like more of a betrayal of Dwayne and his secret than buying it with his money was in the first place.

Then Wheels mutters: “Why not? It’s a piece of junk.”

Joey turns around, glaring at him. “Excuse me?”

Stubborn as ever, Wheels doesn’t back down. “I said ‘Why not, it’s a piece of junk?’”

Okay, he called his car a piece of junk a matter of hours ago, but that doesn’t mean Wheels has the right to say it. “Hey, don’t talk about her like that!”

“Why not? Truth hurt?” And really, of all the people to talk about the truth. “It’s after eleven Joey. My grandma’s gonna kill me. Thanks a lot.”

Why is Wheels taking this out on him? “Hey, this isn’t my fault.”

“You said the car was okay!”

“Oh give me a break,” he says, unable to believe he’s hearing this. He didn’t think it was a good idea for Wheels to sneak out to go to the concert. “If you get in trouble it’s because you lied, man, not because my car broke down.”

“Oh yeah? Whose great idea was it to take a shortcut?”

Ever the peacemaker, Snake tries to intervene. “Guys, come on–”

But Joey doesn’t want to listen to him. He got them into this mess too, just because he can never tell Wheels ‘no’. “I want to know why nothing’s ever your fault, Wheels?” he asks, temper flaring. “How come you’re always blaming everyone else, except yourself?”

Wheels doesn’t have a good answer to that, but he won’t take responsibility either. “This isn’t my fault!”

Wheels never thinks it’s his fault. “When your grandma yells at you, that’s your fault.”

For a moment they just stare at each other, before Wheels has to go and be Wheels about it. “I don’t need this,” he says, casting a fleeting glance in Snake’s direction. “I’m walking.”

Joey can’t bring himself to try and stop him. “Fine, see if I care,” he says, but Snake, naturally, takes a few paces forward as Wheels storms off.

“We can’t just let him go alone!”

Snake’s always on the look out for the delicate, vulnerable types; someone he can look after and protect. “He can do what he wants,” if he ever will, “I’m staying here. I am sick of that guy! He’s always lying!” he yells, getting back in the car as Snake stares after Wheels in the distance. “What is wrong with him these days?” What else are you lying about, Wheels?

Then, behind him, Snake notices something. The tow truck. “Wheels!” Snake calls out to him. “Wheels, come back!”

Of course Wheels comes running back. They are saved, things should be fine now – but as he and Wheels glare at each other, as Wheels angrily throws his bag back onto the backseat of Joey’s car, it seems clear they aren’t.

They were all really mad at each other last night, scared and frustrated. Wheels probably said some stuff he didn’t mean, but Joey thinks he said – thought – some things he didn’t really mean either.

Doesn’t mean he’s happy to see Wheels when he approaches him the next day at school.

“Hey,” says Wheels, awkward. Joey gives him an awkward hi back, and Wheels takes that as permission to continue. “Look, about the car last night. I know it wasn’t your fault, and I’m sorry.”

Joey wishes he could take that apology for what it is; that he could shake the feeling there’s something Wheels isn’t being honest with him about, that there’s always something he’s not being honest about.

Indeed, what this is really about quickly becomes apparent. “My grandmother kicked me out.” What?! Okay, Joey is mad at Wheels, but he wouldn’t have wished that on him. “I was wondering… maybe I could stay with you for a couple of days?”

Joey hesitates. He feels bad for Wheels, but– “I dunno man. I don’t know my parents would be too cool. It’s a small house.”

Wheels looks away for a second, before staring him down. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Can’t you ask Snake? he wonders, but somehow he knows, despite Snake’s parents having a lot more money than his, despite the empty room in his house that used to be his brother’s, they would never allow it. Anger flares in his chest, and he takes it out on Wheels, even though he’s not entirely sure it’s directed at him. “Is this why you apologised?!”

“No!” Wheels insists. “Please. It won’t be for long. I think my grandma’s just trying to teach me a lesson.”

Joey is still mad at him, but Wheels is his best friend. Maybe he doesn’t know how to say no either. “Alright, I’ll talk to my mom.”

“Thanks.”

But then, the second he has agreed, Wheels is back to whining about how unfair his grandma is being, how he didn’t do anything that bad, that this isn’t his fault. Joey walks away, disgusted.

“Wheels’ grandma kicked him out?” asks Snake, shocked. “Why?”

“Because she got sick of him?” Joey shrugs. “I mean, can you blame her?”

Snake seems lost for words for a second. “But, like, he only lied and snuck out to go to a concert. That’s bad, but it’s not ‘getting kicked out’ bad.”

“I’m guessing the concert was just the last straw,” Joey shrugs. Snake still looks uneasy, and Joey thinks he picks up the hints of a guilty conscience. He doesn’t feel particularly inclined to reassure him. “I mean, you’re the one who agreed to let him ‘come over’ for ‘tutoring’. This is kind of on you.”

Snake blanches, and Joey realises that out of context, that sounds bad. He hopes no one is listening to them.

Still feeling guilty, Snake seems to stumble over his words for a second. “But where is Wheels gonna go?”

“Well right now, he’s staying at my place,” Joey tells him.

“Your place?” Joey nods. “So, wait,” says Snake, confused, “you’ve spent all morning going on about what a jerk he is, and you’re letting him stay at your place?”

Joey shrugs. “Yeah? Just because I’m mad at him doesn’t mean he’s not my best friend.”

At that, Snake stares like he doesn’t know what to say.

“You know you haven’t asked me how I got it.”

Joey shrugs as he drives Dwayne home. “Figured that was none of my business.”

“...Right,” says Dwayne, but it seems clear there’s something he wants to get off his chest. “Well for the record, it was from a chick. I’m not a homo.”

Joey scoffs. Really, Dwayne is dying and that’s what he’s worried about? “It wouldn’t bother me if you were, man,” he says, to Dwayne’s dubious look. “I mean, I have better reasons to have a problem with you.”

Dwayne laughs at that. “Right,” he says. “Still. I’m not.”

“Cool,” says Joey, but in a strange way he almost feels disappointed. If he did know an actual, confirmed homosexual, he could ask them… something.

As he pulls up outside Dwayne’s place, Dwayne sighs. “Listen. Thanks Joey.” And somehow Joey knows he’s not just talking about the ride.

Joey smiles at him. “Yeah, any time.”

Living with Wheels is starting to drive him crazy. Alright, he always knew the guy snored, he didn’t know the guy snored. It’s like sleeping next to a jet engine. He’s also sick of never knowing where his stuff is, as Wheels will just take it and leave it all over the place, never bothering to clean up after himself. The guy is a pain in the ass.

But worst of all are the dreams he has sometimes, the ones where it sounds like he’s crying. Joey knows Wheels would kill him if he ever brought it up, but – he has to worry.

It’s the middle of the night and Wheels is, for once, deadly silent, so Joey shouldn’t be surprised when it turns out he isn’t asleep after all. “Joey? Are you awake?”

“Yeah?” he replies blearily, although he doesn’t know why. He should be making the most of the quiet while he can.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Um, sure.” Joey wonders what this is all about, what couldn’t have waited for the daytime.

“Do you think Snake would have let me stay at his place like this?”

Joey blinks. Where did that come from? he wonders, at the same time he tries to come up with an answer. Never, is his immediate thought, but it feels too mean to just say that. “Um, I dunno man,” he says, “his parents are pretty strict.”

“...Right.” Wheels says nothing else, lets silence fall between them. Joey frowns up at his bedroom ceiling.

It’s almost a relief when he hears the snoring start up again.

“How much longer is Wheels going to be staying with us?”

Good damn question. Joey’s tired and frustrated with him too, but he’s still his best friend, he has to stick up for him against his mom, doesn’t he? “I don’t know mom,” he says, which isn’t a good answer.

“He’s been here a month.” Yeah, and he said it would only be a few days. Yet another lie. “It’s draining, emotionally and financially.” You’re telling me. Joey feels drained. Sometimes he wonders if being friends with Wheels isn’t more trouble than it’s worth.

But he can’t just abandon the guy, can he? “He’s got nowhere else to go,” and he wonders why he feels like he knows that so well.

“I spoke to his grandmother,” says Mom. “She wants to talk to him.”

Right, Wheels’ grandma, the one he’s always taking something out on for one reason or another. “He can’t stand her,” he says, honest enough, even though he’s never fully understood why.

“She’s not exactly wild about him either,” Mom tells him, but then her voice falters. “And there’s something else.” Joey frowns. “Money has been disappearing from my purse.”

Joey reels as his mom says the words. “Wait a minute, mom, Wheels doesn’t steal,” he insists as he sits down at the kitchen table, the concept barely comprehensible to him.

“Who else could it be?”

“Well I don’t know, but I know he didn’t take it!” And he knows Wheels can be a jerk sometimes, but he wouldn’t do something like that, would he? Not to his mom. Why would he?

“Well something’s been happening to that money, and it’s been going on since shortly after Wheels arrived!” Joey stares at her. He doesn’t want to believe the worst of Wheels, but this is his mom . And god, he’s getting so tired of feeling like he’s caught in the middle of things.

But he always does his best. “Let me talk to him,” and while he manages to persuade his mom, she’s quick to remind him:

“He has to leave.”

And go where?

For once his stupid cursed car is working just fine, presumably because a breakdown would distract him from his current worries and get him out of this conversation. “Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you later,” says Wheels, casual like nothing’s wrong, and Joey knows he can’t chicken out now.

“Can you wait a second?”

Wheels stops. “What?”

Joey looks away for a second, wondering how to bring this up. “Did you take any money from my mom’s purse?”

Okay, he could have handled that smoother. Wheels stares at him. “What?”

“Because if you did you have to tell me.”

 “No,” says Wheels, seemingly genuinely hurt he would ask. “I don’t steal.” I know, thinks Joey, but he wishes he could know that. “Joey, why would I be so stupid?” And it’s a good question. Why would Wheels do something so stupid? Why does Wheels do half the things he does? “I love living at your house. It’s the first time I’ve been happy since my parents were killed.”

Of course, when in doubt Wheels’ always plays the guilt card. Joey sighs. He’s frustrated with him, but he still wants to give Wheels an out. “If you were borrowing it or something, I’d understand–”

“Joey,” Wheels interrupts him. “I didn’t take anything.”

He leaves the car and Joey wishes he could believe him. He wishes he ever knew what was going through his best friend’s head.

He was hoping Snake would be the one to talk him out of this, to come to Wheels’ defense the same way Wheels always comes to his when Joey is making fun of him, but he doesn’t. “Well it makes sense though doesn’t it, I mean where has he been getting the money?”

Great. Snake is smarter than him after all; if even he thinks it makes sense Wheels was stealing, he can’t convince himself he hasn’t. “Well my mom says she’s been losing money ever since he arrived,” and the more he says it aloud, the more reluctantly convinced he is.

“Well exactly, that’s the whole point.” He swears, it’s like Snake wants to believe the worst of Wheels, for some reason.

Then they spot Wheels across the parking lot, waiting on the hood of his car. “There he is.” Snake claps him on the shoulder for luck, and then Joey makes his way over.

“Hey,” Wheels smiles at him, like everything is normal, fine. “How was your day?” Joey is not in a mood to answer. “Mine was awful,” Wheels continues as he hops in the car, always so goddamn self-obsessed. “We had two pop quizzes! Bummer.”

Oh no, poor you. Joey finds he doesn’t want to pretend everything’s okay right now. “Wheels,” he begins, “how come you can always afford to play video games?”

Wheels frowns at him. “I have some money saved, why?”

Joey stares at him for a long moment, then looks away. “Nothing, I was just wondering.”

Wheels returns his stare. “You still think I took the money, don’t you?”

Why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I believe the worst of you, Wheels? “Well somebody must have taken it,” he says, frustrated.

Wheels turns on him. “Great. My best friend doesn’t believe me.” Yeah, because you’re always lying to me. “Thanks a lot. Jerk.”

“Jerk?! You’re calling me a jerk?!” Really, after all he’s done for Wheels, that’s the gratitude he gets? “Wheels, how much longer are you going to stay at my house?”

They argue about it all the way home, still yelling at each other by the time they walk through the door. “I haven’t had it easy like you,” Wheels tells him. “My parents were killed, man.”

Oh of course, Wheels always plays the fucking dead parents card. “Why do you always bring that up? That was over two years ago.” And really, Joey knows that can’t be what this is about – Wheels was just fine last year after all, the most drama he had was that whole weird thing with Heather. Why is he acting like this now? What changed?

“You don’t get over something like that!” Wheels insists, even though he always claims he is – he always says he’s over it, until it’s convenient for him to say he isn’t. Joey’s so sick of him.

They carry on arguing, before Joey snaps. “What you need to find another place to live.”

Wheels stares at him, and Joey sits down heavily at the kitchen table. “My parents want you out,” he tells him, to Wheels’ shock. And at this point, I do too. “You can stay here until you find somewhere else to live, but you gotta start looking.”

As Wheels keeps staring at him, Joey thinks, inexplicably, of Snake. Of how shocked he was when he told him Wheels’ grandma kicked him out.

“Why wait?” says Wheels, his voice angry, hurt. “I’m not gonna stay somewhere I’m not wanted.”

Joey can’t bring himself to stop him, but as he storms out he wonders, so where are you gonna go Wheels?

“So I guess you heard where I slept the night.”

“Yep.” It was one of the first things Snake mentioned this morning when Joey saw him, exhausted and in a terrible mood, and he had to explain to Joey why he’d barely got any sleep, what he was up half the night worrying and fuming about. Joey can’t say he was surprised. Where else was Wheels gonna go?

Joey doesn’t want to talk to him, but Wheels follows as he walks away. “I’ve been doing some thinking. Guess I’ve been kinda stupid.”

A strange bitterness hits Joey then: they’re all meant to be best friends, but Snake can get through to Wheels when he never can. Finally he turns around, staring at Wheels in disbelief.

“I’m really sorry,” Wheels continues. “Things are gonna be different from now on.”

Joey wants to believe him, but why should he? They’ve thought Wheels was finally better before. “Yeah, right.”

“I took the money from your mom!” Wheels calls out as he tries to walk away again. That makes him stop. Honesty, at last? “I don’t expect you to believe me, but I’m gonna make it up to her. I’m gonna pay her back. Every cent.”

Joey stares. Really, all he wants is his best friend back. But it feels like he hasn’t had a best friend for a long time. How can you have a best friend who’s always lying to you?

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he says, and he walks away.

So he and Wheels aren’t talking. He and Snake are talking, though you wouldn’t know it from how little Snake has actually said to him. Yet again, whenever Wheels isn’t around to be moody and sulk at him, Snake always feels the need to pick up the slack. Great.

“Snake man, you gotta lighten up a little,” he says as he follows Snake to his locker at the end of the day. He hasn’t seen Wheels since the morning, which is a relief. “I get you had a rough night, but you can’t obsess about this. You’re only letting Wheels win.”

“It’s just he’s such an asshole!” Snake slams his locker door shut, and Joey recoils, the bad language surprising him a little, from Snake. “I throw myself under the bus to help him, and that is the attitude I get?! Does he have any idea how much I was risking there?! You know if my parents found out—“

“Snake man, calm down!” he says, as the outburst is starting to cause a scene. Joey stares at him as Snake falls silent. Okay, if Snake’s parents knew he’d let Wheels sleep on their porch against their will, they’d be mad, but that’s about all right? “Are you okay?”

Snake doesn’t meet his eye. “I’m fine,” he mutters. “I’m just mad at him, that’s all.”

But Joey doesn’t think that is all.

“You know, it is a shame we didn’t get to meet The Savages,” Joey muses as he and Snake lie awake in their tent on a clear, starry night.

Snake scoffs. “It was a stupid idea anyway, Joey.”

Joey shrugs. “Well, yeah, probably but – imagine if it had worked man,” he says. “Imagine the connections we could have made.”

It takes Snake a long moment to answer. “Yeah, because the band is in such a good position to get signed right now.”

Ah, right. Wheels. Snake’s got a point, how can they be a band if their founding members can’t even all talk to each other? “Well I don’t know,” he says. “Maybe, if the band was going somewhere, that’d give Wheels a purpose, give him some reason not to be such a jerk all the time.”

It’s wishful thinking, probably, but Snake doesn’t argue with him. After a second, he mutters: “I miss him.” Joey blinks, caught off guard by it – how Snake whispers it like it’s a shameful secret. “I know I shouldn’t, after how he acted. I’m so mad at him. But I miss him. I can’t seem to help it.”

Joey stares. “Why are you telling me this?” he asks. “Maybe you ought to tell him?” After all, Snake could get through to Wheels when nobody else could. Maybe, if he knew Snake missed him, that would give him a reason not to be such a jerk all the time too.

In the dark, he can just about make out Snake shaking his head. “I can’t. I can’t let him – take advantage of me anymore. Of us,” he quickly corrects himself. “I can’t let him take advantage of us.”

Joey doesn’t know what to say to that. Slowly, they drift off to sleep – thank god Snake doesn’t snore, but he still doesn’t sleep easy.

Where the hell is Snake? Nobody seems to have seen hide nor hair of him half the day. It’s enough Joey is contemplating asking Wheels where he is, but no, he’s not that desperate. Besides, with how thoroughly Snake is avoiding him right now, Wheels probably has no idea himself.

As they’re let out from class Joey figures Snake has probably, like everyone else not stopping to see the guidance counsellor, gone home, so he decides to swing by his place to check up on him there. “Hey man,” he says, relieved when he sees Snake sat on his back porch, face buried against his knees. “Where have you been, I’ve been looking all over–”

But then Snake pulls his head up, a look on his face that Joey has never seen on a human being before. His stomach sinks as he immediately realises that something is deeply, horribly wrong.

“Joey.”

Wheels. God, with everything that is going on right now, he almost forgot about all the drama with Wheels. As silver linings go, it’s not much of one. Wheels takes something out of his pocket, offering it to him. “Could you give this to your mom for me?”

Joey frowns, confused. “What is it?”

“It’s the money that I stole.”

Oh. Joey thinks he should have been able to guess that, really, but – he kept his word. He doesn’t know what it means, but it must mean something. “Yeah,” he says, and pockets the money.

That leaves them both not knowing what to say. “So,” says Wheels, uncomfortable, “I better go, or I’ll be late to work.”

But Joey finds himself reluctant to let him go. “How’s that going anyway?” Wheels looks back at him. He knows Wheels brought it on himself, but still – he must be lonely. With him and Wheels not talking, and Snake – away – Joey knows the feeling.

Wheels smiles. “I don’t wanna pump gas for the rest of my life, but it’s okay. It’s nice making some money.”

Well, that’s good. He guesses. “Yeah.”

“So how’s Snake?” And oh, of course Wheels would ask that. “I haven’t seen him around much.”

Crap, what should he tell Wheels? What would Snake want him to tell Wheels? “He’s uh, taking some time off,” he says, not meeting Wheels’ eye. “He’s sick.”

But Wheels can clearly tell that he’s lying. He’s the expert, after all. “I uh, heard this rumour,” he begins. “Did he find Claude?”

And really, after everything, it would make a real hypocrite of him if he lied to Wheels point blank like that, wouldn’t it? “Um… yeah.”

“Whoa.” Wheels still doesn’t know what to say. “...You think it’d be okay if I called him? I know he’s mad at me, but–”

“I, uh, no, I think he actually would like it.” Joey finds himself smiling. He needs you man. Despite everything, some part of him knows that Snake needs Wheels more than anyone right now.

Wheels smiles. “Okay.”

“I’m going over there right now, if you want a lift?” he offers, and Wheels shakes his head.

“I have to get to work.” Right, of course, work. Bummer, but Wheels is clearly trying – with him, with his grandma, with work, with Snake. Snake really could get through to him when no-one else could, huh? “But uh, I’ll call him tonight.”

Wheels punches his shoulder before he leaves, and Joey almost feels proud of him.

“What’s wrong with the bike?” he asks as he arrives in Snake’s yard and finds him worrying over it.

Snake smiles, weakly. “What isn’t?” Joey wonders if it’s just the bike he’s talking about. “But I think I can make it last another year.”

Joey does his best to return the smile as he sits down next to him, lightly touching his shoulder. “Hey people miss you man,” Wheels misses you, but now might not be the time to bring that up, “when are you coming back?”

Snake shrugs, not quite meeting his eye. “Maybe next week. Therapist says I shouldn’t come back ‘til I’m ready.”

Right, that therapist his parents got for him, to help him cope. It probably is helping, but Joey can’t help but wonder if being alone at home like this is really good for him.

He doesn’t know what to do for Snake, but the least he can do is be there and listen to him, as he talks about Claude’s body and all that blood – god Claude, why would you do this to him, what the fuck did Snake ever do to you? He can see when Snake is starting to panic and freak out, and instinctively he puts a hand on his shoulder to try and calm him down. “Snake, I’m really sorry.” He doesn’t know what to say. “Is there anything I can do?”

He’s afraid maybe there really isn’t. Slowly Snake stops, turning to look at Joey’s hand on his shoulder, and Joey lets go. Right, he knows Snake can get weird about being touched sometimes. Especially when he’s upset.

But then, after a second, Snake punches him playfully on the shoulder. Joey punches him back, and it escalates into a silly, childish playfight. They collapse onto the porch, not thinking about what it might look like, and in a strange way it’s the most relaxed he’s seen Snake in years.

“What is this?” Mom asks as he puts the envelope down on the kitchen table.

“It’s the money Wheels stole.”

Mom blinks, clearly surprised. “Oh.”

“He promised me he was gonna pay me back,” he says, grabbing a pop from the fridge. He chuckles a little to himself. “Yeah, I didn’t believe him either.”

Mom purses her lips together. It’s clear she still feels hurt, betrayed by being treated such a way by a boy she’d known for so long, but she still has some concern for him. “How is Wheels?”

Joey takes a second to answer. “Better, I think,” he says. “He’s got a job. He’s back at his grandma’s. He’s back at counselling. He’s – he’s really trying to make things right.”

“That’s good,” Mom muses. “And Archie, how is he?”

Joey flinches, remembering the look of total terror on Snake’s face. “I don’t know,” he sighs, and looks away.

Mom stares at him for a second, as he finds himself unable to meet her eye. “Joey, are you alright?”

And really, is he? “I’m fine Mom,” he insists, even as he can see she doesn’t believe him. “It’s just… I’m so sick of being worried all the time.” And really, this whole thing feels like some sort of microcosm – that whenever he’s not worried about whatever drama Wheels is going through, he finds himself having to worry about Snake instead. At least now he knows why he’s worried about Snake. Usually, he has no idea, it’s just this vague, amorphous sense that something is wrong. “Whenever it’s not Wheels going through something, it’s Snake. It gets exhausting.”

Mom smiles. “You know, you’ve been a real friend to them.”

Joey shrugs. “If you say so.” He wishes he felt more like one.

Forgiving Wheels is easier without Snake around, funnily enough. He has to talk to someone, after all, and he can’t imagine talking to anyone else about this.

“So how is he?” Wheels asks as Joey joins him in the foyer one morning.

Joey shrugs. “He’s getting there,” I hope. “I don’t think he’s ready to come back to school yet though.” And really, between Snake and Caitlin, Joey is angrier at Claude Tanner than he ever has been at anyone else in his life.

Wheels nods, accepting that for what it is, even if Joey knows he must miss Snake. “It’s weird, you know.”

Joey gives him a look. “What is?”

“Being worried about Snake.” Wheels smiles sadly at him. “You know, you and me, we’re always dealing with one thing or another, but him? He’s always so perfect.”

What a way to put it. Joey stares at him for a second, then sighs. “I dunno man,” he mutters. “Sometimes I do worry about Snake. Even before this.”

Wheels returns his stare. “Why?”

“It’s just…” And it turns out, even to Wheels, he doesn’t know how to say this. “He acts like he has this perfect life, but sometimes, sometimes I think there’s stuff he doesn’t tell us.”

“Like what?”

And Joey just shrugs.

Typical; Snake comes back to school and immediately gets himself entangled in some sort of love triangle. Joey can’t tell if he’s jealous or he just wants to laugh. “Face it Snake, you’re one studly guy!”

It feels good to just make fun of Snake again without worrying he’s gonna take it too serious; to be friends who bicker because that’s what friends do. “This is serious, Joey,” says Snake, his usual level of high-strung and neurotic. “I didn’t know Michelle wanted to go, and if I’d known…”

Right, Snake and his thing for Michelle. Between BLT, Spike, Claude (and anyone else?), those two have definitely gotten unlucky with their timing. “This isn’t a problem,” Joey tries to assure him, because Snake is definitely the only guy he knows who would make two chicks being into him such a drama. Doesn’t he know which one he wants to go with? “Just tell Spike you can’t go with her.”

“I can’t,” says Snake. “She asked me first.”

Snake and his sense of chivalry. “Yeah but she only asked you as a friend, right?” and ergo, Spike has no claim over him. It just makes sense. “If you explain the situation I’m sure she’ll understand, right?”

Snake seems to agree with him, rushing off to explain to Spike as soon as he gets the chance. Joey has to laugh as soon as he walks away. “Man, two chicks.” Really, Snake is lucky to be such a babe magnet.

Since he, Snake and Wheels have all officially forgiven each other, Joey has to fill Wheels in on Snake’s little dilemma, sharing how little he sees it as a problem. “I mean Snake’s a lucky guy, right?” he asks. “Spike and Michelle? What a problem to have.”

Wheels scoffs. “Can’t say I envy him,” he says, and Joey fights away the voice at the back of his mind that whispers you wouldn’t. “I mean, we know he really likes Michelle, and Spike really likes him. But he’d hate himself for hurting her.”

Joey frowns. “Hey, Spike only asked him as a friend–”

“Oh c’mon, do you buy that?” and Wheels says it aloud, Joey finds out no, he doesn’t. “Spike’s clearly crazy about him. Can you blame her?” he asks, to Joey’s confusion. “She’s a single teen mom whose daughter’s father is brain damaged, and she happens to know one guy who is perfect dad material. Why wouldn’t she fall head over heels?”

Joey blinks. “What do you mean, ‘dad material’?”

“Think about it Joey,” says Wheels. “Snake’s smart. He’s mature. He’s responsible. He’s even going bald already.” Is he? Joey can’t say he noticed. “Wouldn’t you want him to raise your children?”

“...I think I’m on the lookout for a chick to do that, dude,” he says, and Wheels rolls his eyes.

“It was just an expression.”

Right. That’s an expression. Honestly, Joey isn’t sure he’d want Snake to raise his kids even if he was a chick; he thinks they’d end up with a complex or something. “Wheels man, Snake’s only seventeen,” he says. “I don’t think he has to choose the one girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with just yet.”

It takes Wheels a second to answer. “Right.” Joey wonders if he’s thinking about his own family problems – that if his dad had been a wise-before-his-years type like Snake, and not an irresponsible layabout like Mike, everything could have been different. Then again, a guy like Snake would probably never knock a chick up by accident in the first place. “I just feel bad for Spike,” says Wheels. “She’s gonna get her heart broken.”

Is she? Joey wonders. Is she the only one?

Things work themselves out in the end, really. Spike turns out to have some family thing she needs to go to, and Joey takes that as fate. Snake and Michelle are meant to go to this dance together. There is nobody else that could possibly have a problem with that.

Joey doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, really. BLT’s girl problems are none of his business. Still, it sounds like he and his new girl are — well not having a fight, but a conversation that could turn into one if he’s not careful.

“You’re not mad, right, that Michelle’s going out with someone else?”

“What? No of course not,” BLT is quick to reassure his actual girlfriend. “Me and Michelle, we’ve been split for ages. Besides — Snake, really? I feel sorry for her.”

Cindy frowns at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, that guy’s clearly…”

He trails off, and Cindy raises her eyebrows. “Clearly…?”

It's a good question. What is Snake ‘clearly’, according to BLT? Most of the time, Joey doesn’t feel like Snake is clearly anything.

BLT sighs. “Nothing.” He puts his arm around her shoulders. “C’mon.”

Joey stares as the two of them walk away. That’s a crappy thing to say about a guy just because he likes the same girl you do, he thinks.

“So, Dwayne huh,” Wheels muses as they watch the other boy walk down the corridors, getting stared and glared at wherever he goes. “I know the guy’s a jerk, but you have to feel sorry for him.”

Joey grimaces. Dwayne’s not that bad, really, once you get to know him, but still. “Yeah I’ve always felt sorry for him.”

Wheels double takes. “Wait,” he says. “You knew?”

Reluctantly, Joey nods. “He told me. After – after I tried to blackmail him about that condom machine.” And god, that feels like a lifetime ago now. “We got in a fight, and we were both bleeding. He might have hated me, but he wasn’t gonna risk giving me HIV.”

“Lucky you,” muses Wheels.

Joey supposes so, though he hopes anyone with a shred of decency would have done the same as Dwayne. “That’s why I was asking you about that AIDS pamphlet that time, you know,” he explains. “So I’d know more, so maybe… maybe I could help.”

Wheels stares at him, like he only just realised something. “So wait,” he says, “you don’t…?”

Joey frowns. “What?”

Hurriedly, Wheels looks away. “Nothing.”

Joey stares at him, trying to figure him out. “Wheels man,” he says gently, not quite sure what he’s driving at, “I know we’ve had a rough year,” and Wheels snorts. Understatement of the century. “But you’re still my best friend. If you ever wanna talk to me about anything…”

Wheels gives him a dubious look. “Like what?”

“I dunno, anything,” Joey shrugs. “But you can. Okay?”

Then, after a second, Wheels smiles. Barely, but he smiles. Joey can tell Wheels isn’t gonna take him up on the offer, but he seems grateful it was made. “Thanks Joey.”

“I told you she’d show up.”

Joey rolls his eyes as he runs into Wheels by the punch bowl, having gone to get Caitlin another drink. “Yeah well, with me and Caitlin, you never can be too sure.” And Wheels laughs at that, long since used to the will-they-won’t-they shenanigans.

Slowly, Wheels drift over to where Dwayne is dancing with Tabbi. “It was brave of him to show, huh?”

Joey nods. Alright, he might have had to talk Dwayne into actually going into the dance, but he’s not gonna take the credit this time. “Yeah. You know I’m actually proud of him.” And Wheels continues to stare, something unreadable in his eyes.

He decides he ought to distract Wheels from such a depressing topic. “So man,” he nudges his shoulder gently, “you gonna ask someone to dance?”

Wheels gives him a quizzical look. “Joey, who would I ask to dance?”

Joey shrugs. Wheels always plays who he likes so close to the chest. He doesn’t think Wheels has been on a date since L.D, if that counted. The jerk in him would suggest Heather, but that wouldn’t be fair on her. “Well you don’t know who's gonna be going to the same school as you next year. You sure there’s not someone you’ve been secretly pining after all this time, who you ought to confess your feelings to in case you never get another chance?”

Wheels looks away. “Joey…”

“What?” He tries to say it as a joke, but he can’t get away from the voice in his head that thinks there is someone.

Wheels says nothing, and Joey’s attention drifts over to Snake, happily swaying with Michelle in his arms, standing head and shoulder above all his fellow students. He looks at them, just for a second. But then he goes back to dancing.

Chapter Text

Welcome to the second worst year of his life. His second last year of high school, the year he was meant to graduate, the year everyone else is graduating and leaving him behind. And to top it all off, he has to do it all at a brand new school.

Still, at least it’s a relief to discover he and the rest of the Zits are going to the same school after all. Caitlin too. Indeed it seems most of the Degrassi kids are going to the same school, making all the drama at the end of last year feel like a bit of an overreaction.

So he and the guys get to stand around in front of the entrance before class, catching each other up on their summers. “So how was the summer of romance?” Wheels teases him. “You get anywhere with Caitlin?”

Joey grins. “Gentleman never kisses and tells.” Okay, he might not have gotten as far with Caitlin as he would have liked, but he wouldn’t say he got nowhere either. “Seriously though, me and Caitlin? Things are great. I really love her man. I think she’s the one.” I’m thinking about asking her to marry me, he thinks, but he suspects if he admitted he was that far gone they would make fun of him.

Wheels returns his grin. You’d think he might be upset about being the only one of them without a girlfriend, but he seems to have made his peace with it. “What about you?” he asks, turning to Snake. “How are things with Michelle?”

Snake looks a little pale. He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can, speak of the devil, Michelle herself comes walking past. “Hi guys,” she says softly, and Snake looks like he’d rather be anywhere else on the entire planet. She stares at him. “Hi Snake.”

No gushing reunion, no kissing and cuddling, nothing. Snake can’t even meet her eye. “Hi,” he mutters to the sidewalk.

Michelle frowns, but then she keeps on walking. Wheels frowns too. “You guys not seeing each other anymore?” he asks, and Snake shakes his head. Goddammit, not again, thinks Joey. Why does this always happen to Snake? Why is it, every time he manages to get with a girl he’s been pining over for ages, he manages to screw it up by the start of next year? “That’s a shame, I thought you guys were cute together. What happened?”

Snake shrugs. “We just… agreed we were better off as friends, that’s all.”

But somehow, Joey doesn’t feel like that is all.

He practically had to beg the guys to rehearse with him. He knows the band kinda fell by the wayside last year, since he and Snake were on the outs with Wheels for so long, but if this is his friends’ final year before they graduate he wants to make it count. Plus, ever since Caitlin dropped the bombshell about her graduating this year too, they seem to feel sorry for him. Not that he’s thinking about that.

“Joey,” Wheels says as his fingers glide over his keyboard, the familiar cords of Everybody Wants Something coming back to him as easy as riding a bicycle. “If you’re serious about making this year count, don’t you think it’s time we think about writing a second song?”

Joey pauses. Wheels has a point – really, the time to start thinking about writing a second song was like, four years ago, but better late than never. “Okay,” he says. “About what?”

Wheels just shrugs. “I dunno.”

Joey sighs. Why does he always have to come up with all the ideas in this stupid band? “It was your idea man,” he says. “You’re the one with all the drama and the inner turmoil and stuff. Why don’t you try writing some songs about that, it might be good for you.”

Wheels avoids his eye. “I don’t wanna write about my problems,” he mutters, and no, of course he doesn’t.

“Well what about you?” he asks, turning to Snake, who seems surprised. “You’re fresh off a break up. Why don’t you try writing about that?”

He tried that himself actually, after Caitlin dumped him, but it never quite worked, he never could find the words for how he feels about her. Snake just glares at him. “I am not writing about Michelle.”

Of course he isn’t. Back to square one it is. “Well guys, we gotta write about something,” he whines, trying to come up with an idea. “What about how we were all fighting last year? That was pretty dramatic, right?”

Wheels gives him a dubious look. “Joey, do you really think anyone wants to hear us complain about our band drama?”

“Hey, a lot of bands make their best music out of their own drama,” Joey says, then pauses for a second. “Hell, maybe you guys should hook up or something,” he thinks he’s joking, “it could be the source for our Rumours.”

Then in sync: “Joey!”

That turns out to be the last time The Zits ever rehearse.

Senior year is a weird time. Joey only knows this second hand, of course, but he does notice it among his friends, the way the future becomes more and more concrete for them every day. Snake, always the studious type, is now practically religious about school, determined to get the best marks he can – maybe he just wants to live up to his class valedictorian, scholarship- earning brother, who knows. Even Wheels is making an effort, although he just seems to want to graduate and get out of there. A voice at the back of Joey’s mind whispers that it would be better for him if Wheels did fail, just so he doesn’t have to be alone here next year, but he knows what an awful, selfish thing that is to wish for.

It’s not quite the two against one dynamic he’s so used to (or he used to be, before last year, when everything got so messy). Snake and Wheels are clearly going very different places. But they are both going, and leaving him behind.

And then there is Caitlin. He wants to be happy for her, really. He’s proud of her, isn’t that enough?

Still, it feels like he never gets to see her anymore, as they don’t have classes together and all her free time is taken up with extra coursework. The most he can do is wait for her outside her classes, taking advantage of the fleeting moments he gets with her in the halls.

“Hi Joey,” she says as he wraps an arm around her shoulders, leaning into her embrace. See, she does still want to be with him, she just has to focus on her studies right now. He can’t begrudge her that, right?

Still, she seems moody, distant. He frowns. “Everything alright?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m just worried about this French test we have coming up this afternoon.”

Right, the French test. Snake mentioned that. Joey did wonder why Caitlin was still taking French senior year, but the way she explained it, if she wants to be a journalist, French is one of the most widely spoken languages in the world, it could be very useful for covering issues abroad, especially in Africa.

Joey thinks of something else. Wheels has a French test coming up too, albeit not for another week. Snake offered to help him study, but Wheels, in a bad mood again for no reason, just scoffed and muttered whatever, everything I’m studying, it’s probably beneath you.

“What about you?” Caitlin catches him zoning out. “Something on your mind?”

“Oh,” he says, snapping back to reality. “Oh, I, um…” he really shouldn’t say anything, but he finds himself blurting out: “Caitlin, can I ask you something?”

“Of course Joey.”

He hesitates, not sure how to say this. “Just… you’re all political and stuff, right?” Caitlin seems bemused, like he might have only just noticed that. “You care about the environment, and apartheid, and nuclear weapons, all that, right?”

“Yeah?” Caitlin asks, clearly not knowing what he’s driving at. “And?”

“How do you feel about gays?”

Caitlin stops. “Gays are people like anyone else,” she says bluntly. “They should have the right to live their lives free of violence and harassment. I mean, whose business is it what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes?” And that’s a difficult point to argue with, albeit one it kinda sounds like she read in a textbook somewhere. She stares at him. “Why, do you have a problem with gays?”

“What? No!” He’s quick to deny it. I don’t get it, but I don’t have a problem with it. That’s their business right? he remembers saying what feels like a million years ago. “No, I agree with you Caitlin, I totally one hundred, one thousand per cent agree.” She looks unconvinced, and Joey sighs. “I was just asking because… I dunno.” She tilts her head to the side. “I was just curious.” She raises her eyebrows, and he realises how that sounds. “No, not curious, just – I’ve been reading stuff in the news lately,” which isn’t really a lie. Every time he sees an article on gay rights or whatever, he feels obliged to at least look at it. “Seems like it’s an issue that’s coming up more and more, y’know?”

Caitlin nods along. “You know, they say one in ten people is gay,” she says, to Joey’s surprise. Do they? That seems both an awfully high number, and yet not high enough. “We might know someone who is, and we wouldn’t even know it.”

“...Yeah.”

Caitlin sighs. “Anyway, I better head to the library, get some more study done.” Right, of course – he should be grateful he got these five minutes with her. She notices the look on his face, and leans into his shoulder. “But uh, I promise we’ll do something this weekend, okay?”

“Right, of course,” says Joey, not holding his breath. She smiles apologetically as she steps out from his embrace. “Hey, good luck on your test,” he tells her. “What’s French for ‘good luck’?”

“Bonne chance, Joey,” and Joey feels mildly embarrassed he didn’t know that.

Since he never gets enough time with Caitlin, he has to make the most of what he does. She giggles against his lips in between second and third period, sharing quick, fleeting kisses with him behind the grade 12 lockers. It makes him think of a butterfly, or maybe some sort of exotic bird – something he could chase after, but never really catch.

The bell rings and Caitlin pulls back with a sigh. “Alright, I really ought to get to class.”

Joey sighs in turn. “Alright.” Reluctantly he lets her go, staring as he walks away.

Thankfully he has a free, he doesn’t have to be anywhere in a hurry. He turns around and starts to wander the other direction, before he realises somebody is staring at him. Snake. “Uh, hey man,” he says as he approaches the other boy, seeing the mildly irritated look on his face. “What’s up?”

Snake frowns at him. “Do you two have to be like that all the time?”

Joey is confused. “Like what?”

“All over each other,” says Snake, rolling his eyes. “Can’t you save that for when the two of you are alone?”

That leaves Joey even more confused. What, what is Snake’s problem with him making out with his girlfriend? “We don’t get a lot of time to be alone together these days,” he says as he walks down the corridor, and Snake follows. “She’s so busy with school and stuff, y’know?”

“Right,” Snake mutters, and Joey frowns, still wondering what this is really about.

“What’s it to you, anyway? You don’t have a crush on my girl, do ya?”

“What, no, of course I don’t,” says Snake, seeming baffled by the idea. Good. Joey loves Snake, but he would fight him for Caitlin. “It’s just obnoxious, that’s all, rubbing it in everyone’s faces that you have a girlfriend who’s crazy about you.”

Joey scoffs. “Ah c’mon man, don’t be jealous,” he says. “Just because you never got anywhere with Michelle–”

Joey finds himself slammed up against a locker, Snake’s hand clawing into his shoulder. “...Ow,” he says, it taking him a second to process that he’s in pain. Snake’s usually such a nice guy, it’s easy to forget how much bigger than Joey he is; he could do him some serious damage, if he wanted to. “What the hell man, I was only kidding. What was that for?”

Slowly, Snake lets go, seeming startled by his own actions. “Sorry Joey,” he mutters, shamefaced. “I – I don’t know what came over me there. You’re right, I’m just jealous.”

Joey frowns, worried about him. “Well listen, I’ll try and cool it with all the PDA with Caitlin, at least when we’re around you.”

“Really?” Snake asks, surprised, and Joey shrugs. “Thanks.”

Joey smiles at him. “Hey, what are friends for?” He pauses for a second. “And, if it makes you feel better–” he drops his voice down into a whisper, not wanting anyone else to hear, but like, he can trust Snake, right? “–Me and Caitlin, we haven’t had much time to be alone together. We haven’t gotten that far. Second base, max.”

Snake blinks, seemingly surprised by that. “Oh.”

He and Snake are studying in the library. Really, Joey doesn’t know what he’s doing here. He doesn’t know what Snake is learning in anticipation of university that he could possibly help with, but maybe he just needs a sounding board, that’s all, and he doesn’t seem to want to invite Wheels. Wheels would get all pissy about it.

While Snake is going over algorithmic equations or something, Joey spots Yick and Luke talking out of the corner of his eye. “You know, it’s a shame about you and Tessa,” Luke comments idly.

Yick shrugs. “Hey, after how we got together, I can’t be surprised. Easy come, easy go, right?” Joey frowns, not sure he ought to be hearing this – he thinks he’s developing a bad habit of eavesdropping on people – but somehow the thought that Tessa is easy lodges itself at the back of his mind. “Anyway, good luck to the guy. What was his name, Tim?”

“Tom?”

“Something beginning with T.” At least Joey isn’t the only one who’s eavesdropping; he can see it on Snake’s face, that he’s honed in on this conversation – and it’s pissing him off. The more locker room banter Yick and Luke trade back and forth, the more Snake is visibly swallowing his rage. “Anyway, that chick’s an animal. If he lets her have her way with him, he’ll be worn ragged–”

“God, do you have to talk about her like that?!” Snake snaps, turning around to face them, catching everyone off guard. It also earns them all a firm shhh from the librarian, which Joey doesn’t think is fair – he didn’t say anything, after all. Snake’s voice drops to an angry whisper. “That’s still your ex-girlfriend,” he says. “Can’t you show her a little bit of respect?”

Across the room, Yick just glares. “I’m sorry, what business is it of yours?” he asks, and that’s a good question. What business is it of Snake’s? Joey hopes they are not, on some level, still fighting about Melanie, years after either of them has shown any interest in her.

(Does he? He remembers Snake asking him, about Yick liking Melanie. Or does he tell himself that, so he doesn’t have to think about who he really likes?)

Luke opts to distract Yick with a laugh. “Don’t worry about it, man. It is Snake, what does he know about chicks actually wanting to do stuff with him?” Snake looks away at that, swallowing yet more anger. “His version of first base is placing his cloak over a puddle so his lady love can gently step over it.”

Yick laughs as well. “Yeah, and second is when she actually does.”

Really, of things to get made fun of for go – being the ultimate gentleman isn’t so bad, but Joey can see how Snake’s throat bobs as they snicker behind his back. “Just ignore them man,” he whispers, even though Snake started it, and he doesn’t think Snake hears him.

“Really, you gotta feel sorry for Michelle,” Luke carries on. “Living on her own for so long, she probably got used to calling up BLT any time she felt the need. Then, she has to deal with a guy who won’t dare try anything with her, lest he sully her maidenly honour.”

“Yeah, maybe that’s why they split up.”

And Snake snaps again. “Who says I never did anything with Michelle?”

Silence. Joey stares at him, while Luke and Yick share a look. “Wait, you and Michelle…?”

Snake smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“...Alright Snake!” exclaims Yick, seemingly forgetting the argument. He and Luke high five, apparently happy for Snake. Joey should be too, but instead he continues to stare at him, worried.

“Snake man, what the hell was that?”

Snake avoids his eye as they walk through the corridors. “What was what, Joey?”

“All that about Michelle!” he says. “Why would you tell Yick and Luke—“

“I didn’t tell them anything,” Snake mutters.

“Well you pretty strongly implied!” Snake continues to say nothing, sullenly trudging down the hall, and Joey sighs. “Snake, man, stop, look at me.” Joey grabs him by the arm, forcing him to stop and look him in the eye. “Did you and Michelle have sex?”

And confronted point blank like that, Snake can’t bring himself to lie. “No.”

“Then why would you say that you did?” Snake doesn’t answer that. “C’mon, you’ll give her a reputation. And you know what her dad’s like, what if he thinks it’s true?”

“Look, I didn’t mean to say it Joey!” Snake tells him, guilty. “I just – I was sick of those guys bugging me, and I blurted it out.”

“So you threw her reputation under the bus for the sake of your own? That’s not like you.” Indeed, Snake is always such a gentleman. He looks away, almost seeming like he’s about to cry. Deep down, Joey knows this is about more than Michelle. “Snake man, what is going on with you?” Joey asks, softly. “Come on, I’m your friend, talk to me. Maybe I can help.”

Snake avoids his eye. “You can’t.”

“Try me!” Snake shakes his head. “Why not?”

“Because I know you, okay Joey!” Snake snaps. “And you are the last person on Earth I would ever talk to about anything!”

Joey stares at him. It hurts to think that despite everything they’ve been through, despite all the drama of last year, despite Claude, Snake still thinks of him as the same dumb, insensitive kid; a good time, but no one you could actually trust. “Thanks a lot, I thought we were friends,” he says. “You’re worse than Wheels sometimes, you know that?”

That leaves Snake speechless as he walks away.

He, Wheels and Snake are just standing in the hallway, talking about amps or something, when Joey spots BLT storming toward them, seemingly on the warpath. “Uh, Snake–”

But he doesn’t get enough time to give warning before BLT punches Snake square in the face.

“Whoa, whoa!” Instinctively Wheels places himself between the two of them, while Snake reels, leaning against a locker for support. “What the hell was that for?”

With a sinking feeling, Joey suspects he knows. He doesn’t get a chance to say anything however before someone else comes running over, because of course she does. “Bryant?” asks Michelle, her two ex-boyfriends getting in a fight enough to get her attention. “What are you doing?!”

BLT swallows hard, furious. “Michelle, have you heard what this guy’s been saying about you?”

Michelle raises her eyebrows. “No? But you’re what, defending my honour?” And she’s got a point; after the way he treated her, BLT doesn’t have much right to be causing a fuss. “What’s he been saying anyway?”

“That you two…”

“That we…?” But from BLT’s sheer rage and Snake’s ashen, guilty look, it doesn’t take her long to figure out what he means. She turns to Snake. “Snake, we never…” Michelle stares up at him, hurt and betrayed. “But you told everyone we did?”

“No!” Snake insists, but he’s never been a good liar. “I swear, I never told anyone anything. I – I may have implied …”

He trails off as she scoffs. “Save it Snake, I don’t want to hear it,” she says. “You’re pathetic, you know that?”

He looks pained. “Michelle…”

“No!” she shouts at him, before her eyes drift over, just for a second, to Wheels. “Find someone else to feel sorry for you.”

Snake stares after her as she storms off, him, Wheels, BLT and Joey all standing around awkwardly, and Joey wonders what the hell was all that about?

Joey observes Snake and Wheels sitting in the foyer after school as he’s leaving class. Snake is still sulking, a vicious purple bruise forming across his jaw where BLT punched him. “Michelle is right,” Snake says. “I am pathetic. The only thing more pathetic than an eighteen year old virgin is an eighteen year old virgin who’d lie about it.”

“Ah, come on man,” Wheels tells him, which isn’t a very convincing argument. “Look, term's almost over, right? I promise, by the time we come back, everyone will have forgotten all about this.”

Snake doesn’t exactly look reassured. “Just, this hasn’t been a good year,” he mutters. “And this is gonna make it worse.”

“Snake, you’re gonna be okay–”

Wheels reaches across and squeezes Snake’s hand, comforting, but Snake pulls it back like it burns. He gives Wheels a withering look. “What are you?” he asks. “Queer?”

Joey recoils like it was him Snake said it to, and Wheels stares at him, hurt. “Fuck you man,” he mutters, and looks away.

They sit beside each other in sullen silence for a moment, and Joey sighs, realising it’s up to him to go rescue them. “Hey guys.”

“Joey.” Wheels sounds relieved to see him, to have an excuse to act like everything’s okay, to pretend Snake didn’t just say what he said. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Snake mutters, but he isn’t looking at Joey, lost in his own shame. Joey frowns, and squeezes his shoulder, not sure if he means it as a comfort or a jibe. You going to call me queer too?

“You doing okay? Nothing broken?”

“I’m fine Joey,” Snake mutters, and Joey decides to take pity on him and change the subject.

“So, you guys got any plans for the break?”

Still sulking, Snake just shrugs, but to his surprise Wheels speaks up. “Uh, yeah, actually. My birth dad invited me to come visit him.”

Joey’s eyes go wide. “Mike?!” God, he hasn’t even thought about Mike in years. “Wow. Where’s he at these days?”

Wheels swallows hard. “Calgary.”

One good thing about the break is that he and Caitlin finally have some time to be alone together. His parents are even out tonight, so as long she leaves before 9:30, they can do whatever they want.

So Joey is doing what any red-blooded male would do under the circumstances, making out with his girlfriend on his bed. Caitlin seems to be into it, moaning softly into his mouth, letting him gently cup her breasts through her shirt. Joey is in heaven.

Still, when he tries to take things further, put a hand under her skirt, she stops him. “Wait, Joey, stop.”

Joey stops, pulling back to stare at her for a second. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s okay, I just… want to cool down for a second.”

Right, of course she does. Joey does his best not to sigh. He doesn’t want to pressure her or anything, it’s just, it’s hard being a guy sometimes. No pun intended. 

Caitlin looks apologetic. “Sorry Joey, I just… don’t think I’m ready yet.”

He nods along. If she’s not ready she’s not ready, that’s all there is to it, right? He doesn’t want to make the same mistake he made with Liz. “You do want to someday though, right?” he asks. “With me?”

Caitlin blinks like she doesn’t know why he would ask that, and truth be told Joey’s not that sure either. “Of course I do,” she says. “I just want to wait for the right time.”

And that makes sense, right, that is the way chicks think about this sort of thing, but somehow a thought grabs hold of the back of Joey’s brain and won’t let it go. “You’re not…” Caitlin tilts her head to the side, puzzled. “...Gay, right? That’s not why you don’t want to do it?”

“What?”

“Because it would be cool if you were!” he’s quick to insist. “Well, I mean, not cool, I’d be heartbroken, but like – I’d know it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t my fault, it’s just one of those things, I wouldn’t hold it against you–”

“Joey, I’m not gay!” Caitlin says, almost laughing in disbelief. “Why would you even ask me that?”

And really, good question. He and Caitlin have been falling in love with each other and breaking each other’s hearts for years now, how could she possibly be gay? “Sorry Caitlin, I’m being stupid,” he says. “Just… I said the issue had been on my mind lately, yeah?

She stares at him for a moment, then looks away. “I have wondered before,” she mutters, to his surprise. “Back when I was in grade 7. I used to have these pretty weird dreams about Ms. Avery.”

Joey blinks. “What, like, those sorts of dreams?” Caitlin glares at him. “Sorry, sorry it’s just – I didn’t know that happened to girls.” That hardly makes him sound less stupid. He wonders what to say. “I mean, I get it. Who among us wouldn’t think about jumping the fence for Avery?”

Caitlin actually laughs at that. But then she thinks some more. “I mean, she told me it was normal, it was just a part of growing up. Everyone has their doubts sometimes – right?”

“Uh, I guess.” Not me, thinks Joey, but he’s starting to feel like he’s the exception there.

Caitlin frowns. “It’s just, it feels stupid sometimes,” she says, leaving Joey confused. What does? “The idea it’s this either or thing. That if I ever catch myself looking at another girl, it means – everything I feel about you, that’s just, what, nothing? That doesn’t seem fair.”

Joey stares at her moment, thinking this over. “You’re right, that is stupid,” he says, taking her by surprise. “Why should it be an either or thing? Why can’t you like guys and girls? What’s stopping you exactly?” And really, this feels like it explains something. Not just about Caitlin.

“Right!” Caitlin laughs, seemingly relieved he’s taking this so well. Joey reaches across the bed and takes her hand. She was worried about this, wasn’t she?

“I shouldn’t have asked, babe,” he says, bringing her hand up to his mouth and kissing it. “If you like me and I like you, that’s all that matters. And if you wanna wait, I’ll wait.” He pauses for a second. “Though if you’re not opposed to the idea of doing things with other chicks…”

“No, Joey.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

She rolls her eyes. “Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I like you so much.” He grins, until he notices his clock over her shoulder.

“Oh shoot, my parents are almost home, you better get out of here,” he says, as she hurriedly smooths out her clothes. “Now!”

So he spends another night having to take care of his own needs. So what? He thinks of Snake and his stupid lie that backfired on him – but Joey doesn’t have to prove anything. After all, it’s not like the guys he hangs out with have lost their virginity before him.

“Wheels, my man!”

“See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you Joey,” Wheels says as he returns his things from their Spring Break vacation to the prison of his locker, Snake and Joey standing either side of him. “I knew you’d overreact.”

Joey is offended. “I’m not overreacting, you’re underreacting!” he insists. “This is a huge deal Wheels, you’re a man now.”

It does seem odd that Wheels, the one among them who’s never even really had a girlfriend, would beat them to the punch like that, but he supposes life is weird like that sometimes. Wheels rolls his eyes. “Having sex doesn’t make me a man, Joey. Don’t you listen to anything Caitlin says?”

“I do!” he says. Indeed, he’s been thinking about what Caitlin said a lot lately. He sighs. “Whatever. I hope you were careful though. And not just about making babies.” He was always pretty pro-safe sex, but after what happened to Dwayne? God, he never wants to make a mistake like that.

Wheels looks away. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure we took precautions.”

Joey frowns, struck by the vagueness of that statement. “‘Pretty sure’?” he asks, while Snake gives him a look. “Wheels, man, you were there. You can’t remember putting on a condom?”

Wheels pauses for a second. “I was kinda drunk.”

Joey’s frown deepens. Since when do you drink? he wonders, but he supposes they are that age, and it’s none of his business anyway.

Then from Wheels’ other side, Snake, who has remained remarkably quiet throughout this entire conversation – you can still see the faintest remnant of a bruise when you squint; remind Joey never to piss off BLT – asks something. “So… what was it like?”

Wheels looks up at him, then shrugs. “Kind of hard to describe.”

Joey really has to stop eavesdropping like this. It’s definitely becoming a bad habit.

It’s Snake, of course, talking to Amy and Allison, the two of them either side of them, but it’s Allison he seems to be focused on. “—Oh uh, that’s cool,” he’s saying. “Of course you do. Well I’ll see you there then?”

He wanders off, leaving Joey confused and thoroughly lacking context, while Amy is giving her best friend an equally confused look. “Alison, you don’t have a date for the graduation dance yet.”

Oh, so that’s what that was about. Snake asked Allison out. Joey frowns. Allison, really? She was so not his type back in grade 9. What changed?

Joey thinks of Melanie, of Michelle, of Spike, of Amy and Allison, of every girl Snake’s ever been into, who’s ever been into him, but he always managed to find some reason actually being with them would be wrong. It scares him that that doesn’t seem to worry Snake anymore. That the idea of simply being with a woman is now so important to him it can overwhelm the inscrutable scruples he’s always had.

“Well now I’ve got to find one, haven’t I?” says Alison. “I’m not going to go with him.”

Joey feels a little offended on Snake’s behalf. Amy still seems confused. “What’s the matter, I thought you really liked him?”

Allison scoffs. “Oh please, after what he said about Michelle? You really think I’d wanna be with a guy who’d lie and say I’m not a virgin, just so he can pretend he isn’t one either?”

Amy frowns. “But Allison, you’re not–”

“I know, I know, but the whole school doesn’t need to know that, do they?”

Huh. Allison’s not a virgin, but she doesn’t want anyone to know. Snake is a virgin, but he doesn’t want anyone to know that either. Caitlin didn’t wanna tell him she might be into chicks, in case it made him think she wasn’t really into him.

For the first time it occurs to Joey to think this all isn’t fair, that everyone feels the need to lie, in one direction or another, to make themselves look better. Why can people just, you know, screw who they wanna screw, not screw if they don’t feel like it, and not have to lie to keep up appearances? Wouldn’t that be easier for everyone?

“Hey!” Amy seems to notice him staring, and Joey snaps to attention. “What are you looking at, goofball?”

Oh shit. Joey quickly searches for an excuse. “Uh, sorry ladies,” he says, bowing slightly. “I was distracted by your beauty, that’s all.” Amy and Alison roll their eyes, but by their shared smirks, he can tell they’re flattered by the compliment. That’s something, he supposes.

“Hey man, you wanna come hang out in the park?”

Joey is a little surprised by Wheels approaching him with that out of nowhere, especially since Snake is nowhere to be seen. “Can’t man, I’ve got English class,” he says.

“Boring,” says Wheels. “Can’t you skip it just once?”

“Absolutely not,” says Joey. “I am not flunking another year.” He pauses. “What are you skipping class for anyway, I thought you were trying to make an effort this year?”

Wheels shrugs. “I mean, it’d be nice if I did well enough to graduate, but it’s not necessary. I’ve got shit worked out.” And uh, since when? When does Wheels ever think anything through ahead of time? “I don’t need a diploma, not really.”

Joey frowns. Wheels has been acting weird ever since he came back from Calgary. Not angry and lashing out the way he was last year, or in grade 9, but just… weird. Maybe that’s what getting laid does to you.

“Sorry man, I can’t,” he says. “Why don’t you ask Snake?”

Wheels scoffs. “Snake? Yeah right. Like Mr. Perfect would ever do anything to jeopardize his scholarship.” Okay, fair, but Joey wonders if that’s the real reason – he still remembers what Snake said to Wheels before they went away for the holidays. What are you, queer? He supposes Wheels has proven he isn’t, but still, he might not wanna be alone with Snake for awhile. “C’mon, I’ve got beer.”

Joey raises an eyebrow. “And you got that where?”

“What, I’m nineteen, I can drink if I want.” And okay, yeah, but it’s still weird he does want to. He never used to.

Whatever, Joey can party with the best of them when the time’s right, but he’s not getting drunk in the middle of a school day. “Another time, man.”

Wheels sighs. “Alright. I’ll just go chill on my own.”

Joey frowns as he walks away. The thought of Wheels on his own, drinking by himself, sits uneasily with him somehow.

He finds Snake in the courtyard at lunch, sitting on his own. He assumes Snake is gonna be studying – he’s always studying – but instead he’s just staring off into mid-distance. “Hey man,” Joey says as he takes the seat opposite.

“Hey.”

Snake doesn’t even look at him. “Hi.”

Joey frowns. “You alright?”

“Sure.”

Well that wasn’t convincing. “Something on your mind?”

There’s a long pause before Snake answers. “It was a year ago today.”

Joey is confused. “What was?” he asks, but Snake just gives him a look.

“Claude.”

Oh shit. Joey can’t say he remembers the exact date, but yeah, it was around this time of year. Of course Snake would be thinking about it. Why didn’t Caitlin say something? “Shit,” he mutters unhelpfully. “You doing okay?”

Snake shrugs. “I should be. I mean it was a year ago. I didn’t even know the guy. I should be over it by now, right?”

You don’t get over something like that, whispers a voice at the back of his mind. “You found a dead body man,” he says. “I think you’re allowed to still be messed up about that.”

“Yeah,” Snake murmurs, still staring into the distance. Joey isn’t sure what to say. “It’s just, all this time and I still don’t understand why he did it.”

Joey wonders if he ought to share what Caitlin told him, about those flowers and the note, but no, he couldn’t betray her trust like that. “I heard his parents were getting divorced,” he suggests. That’s what Joanne from Special Ed said.

Slowly, Snake nods. “Yeah, and he thought neither of them would want him. So he kills himself.” He pauses. “I guess that’s one solution.”

Joey double takes. “What–?”

“Nothing, Joey.” Snake seems shocked by his own words, finally meeting his eye, smiling like that will make them go away. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just thinking, that’s all.”

Joey can feel his pulse start to race. Say something, but what can he say? “Snake man,” and he doesn’t know what he’s saying, but the words seem to spill out from him, “if you ever – needed a place to stay, for any reason, you know I’d be there for you, right?”

Snake gives him a dubious look. “Right, like Wheels?”

Joey swallows hard. Of course, it always comes back to Wheels. “That was different,” he insists. “He broke my trust.” And Joey has forgiven Wheels, but he hasn’t forgotten.

“Right,” Snake mutters, looking away again. “Well, thanks for the offer, but it’s a moot point. I’m going away to university next year, remember?”

“Right.” And for once, Joey feels relieved. He’ll miss the guy, but – hopefully that will be good for Snake, getting out from under his parent’s thumb.

“–I’m just saying man, even if you do have the marks, don’t you think Kingston’s kinda far away?” Joey says as Snake is going over his university plans with them. Okay, he knows he should be happy for Snake, but – his girlfriend is already planning to move far away to go to university, does one of his best friends have to do the same?

Snake shrugs. “I mean, it’s not that far, only a few hours drive. I’ll come back and visit. But still, I think it’ll be good for me, getting out on my own.”

Joey sighs. He’s right, that will be good for Snake. “I guess man, but – we’re gonna miss you.” Bit presumptuous of him to speak for Wheels really, who hasn’t said anything, has just been watching as Snake explains his plans. He doesn’t seem to want to think about Snake going away to university.

Snake gives him a funny look, and Joey rolls his eyes. It was just a comment. He turns to Wheels. “Well, at least you’re not moving halfway across the country just to get away from me, right?”

“...Yeah, about that,” says Wheels, catching Joey by surprise. “I’m moving after the summer too.”

What, is he? Why? Wheels isn’t going to university, not with his marks, why would he move?

Snake seems equally caught out. “What, where?”

“Calgary.”

“You’re moving to Calgary?” Snake stares in disbelief. “Why?”

Wheels smirks at them. “Why do you think?”

Joey frowns, taking a second to remember. “Wait, ‘cause of that Karen chick?”

Snake seems to disbelieve that as well. “Wheels, you knew her for two weeks.”

“So?” Wheels asks. “I don’t have to be like you, taking months to even summon the courage to ask a girl out when I like her. I know what I want, and I go for it.”

Do you? Joey wonders, while Snake is still lost for words.

“Anyway, it’s like you said Snake – it’ll be good for me,” Wheels insists, while Snake is speechless. “It’ll be freedom, out west away from my grandparents, finally getting to do whatever I want, and not having to worry about what anyone else thinks.”

Somehow Joey doesn’t quite buy that. It sounds like Wheels is trying to convince himself as much as them. Snake is still struggling to figure out what to say. “But, Wheels – that’s so far away. Could you come back if you wanted to?” And Joey can tell, Snake wants him to want to come back. It bothers him that Wheels might not want to. “How are you even going to get there? You don’t have a car.”

“I’ve met this guy who’s got an old one he can sell me, so long as I’m ready to put in the hard work to fix it up.” Snake just looks at him, like he can’t understand what’s happening. “Don’t worry about me Snake, I’ve got it all planned.”

“But you can’t move to Calgary–”

“Why not?!” Wheels snaps. “What am I gonna stick around here for?”

For a second they just stare at each other, speechless. Joey, afraid this will escalate into a fight if he’s not careful, decides to intervene. “Listen, Wheels, if you’re sure about this – if you love this girl, and you wanna be with her – then we’re happy for you. Right, Snake?” As Snake continues to stare, Joey nudges him insistently in the ribs. “Right, Snake?”

Snake swallows hard. “Right.” But he’s never been a good liar.

“I can’t believe, even now exams are over, you’ve found something else boring to be busy with,” Joey teases Snake as he finds him in the courtyard, going over the newspaper, of all things. “The news? Who are you, Caitlin?”

Snake rolls his eyes. “I’m looking for summer jobs, Joey. I don’t want to go to university flat broke.” And oh, right. That’s a good idea, Joey should be thinking about that himself. “Look, there’s an opening for a lifeguard at the local community pool here.”

He shows Joey the advertisement, and Joey raises his eyebrows. “What do you know about being a lifeguard?”

“Hey, I was district swim champion, remember!”

Right, so he was. God, that feels like a lifetime ago, before they were even friends. “Besides,” Snake continues, smirking in a way that reminds Joey, unnervingly, of himself. “All those babes in bikinis, relying on me to come save them… surely one of them is going to want to thank me for my heroism, right?”

Joey blinks. Right, the virginity thing. They’re back to that again, after having not really talked about it ever since the incident with Michelle. Joey should go along with the fantasy, it sounds like the sort of fantasy he’d have, but instead he finds himself asking: “You sure that’s gonna work man?”

There’s a pause before Snake answers. “Sure it will,” he says, but it sounds more like It has to.

Joey is relieved he can find the person he is looking for in the corridors. “Hey, Michelle?”

She seems a little surprised he would approach her. “Oh, hi Joey.” And yeah, things have been a bit awkward ever since that whole incident with Snake and BLT – but like, Michelle has no reason to hold a grudge against him, he never falsely claimed to have had sex with her. “What’s up?”

“Oh, not much,” he says. “I uh, I heard you landed that big internship in New York. Congratulations.”

Michelle chuckles. “I’m glad someone’s happy for me,” she says. “My dad doesn’t like that it’s so far away, and Alexa’s furious I’m going to miss her wedding. I swear, it’s like I’m sixteen all over again.”

“I’m sure they’ll get over it,” he says, more sure about Alexa than he is about her dad.

She smiles at him as they come to a stop outside her locker. “So, is this the only reason you wanted to talk?” she asks. “To congratulate me on my post-graduation plans?”

“...No,” Joey admits, before he sighs. “Michelle, can I ask you something?”

She seems puzzled. “Sure.”

“Why did you and Snake split up?”

Now it’s her turn to hesitate to answer his questions, like there’s something she thinks she probably shouldn’t tell him. “What did he tell you?”

Joey shrugs. “Not much,” he says. “That you guys agreed you’d be better as friends.”

“That’s true enough,” Michelle mutters, but ‘true enough’ isn’t the same thing as ‘true’. When she doesn’t say anything else, Joey frowns.

“So… did he agree to just be friends, or did you?”

Michelle laughs. “It was my idea, yeah.”

“Why?” And maybe that’s a stupid question, given some of the stuff that’s gone on between her and Snake since their break up, but y’know, Michelle couldn’t have known that at the time. “You used to really like him.”

“I did,” Michelle nods. “And I know he liked me too. But…” she sighs. “I got the impression I wasn’t the one he really wanted to be with.”

Joey frowns. “What do you mean?”

She stares at him. “Do you really not know?”

And Joey finds himself speechless.

“You talked to Michelle about me?!”

“Ow!” says Joey as Snake grabs him by the arm with more strength than you’d expect from those spindly noodles. As the other boy glares down at him in a fury, Joey realises he could be in serious trouble here. “Okay, Snake, calm down,” he says, which naturally does not calm Snake down. “How do you even know about that anyway?”

“Does it matter?!” Snake practically spits at him, and no, he guesses it doesn’t. “How could you do that to me Joey, I thought we were friends?!”

“We are friends!” Joey insists, while Snake still glares. “Look, I’m sorry okay, I just – you wouldn’t tell me anything, and I thought she might.”

“Oh yeah, and what did she tell you?”

“Nothing!” says Joey, which isn’t quite true. “Nothing I didn’t already know, anyway.” He sighs. “Look, Snake–”

“Why can’t you ever mind your own business, Joey?”

“Because, I’m your friend! I wanna help!”

Snake looks away, and Joey stares up at him, his concern giving way to frustration. “...You know what, screw it.”

When he roughly pulls his arm out of Snake’s grasp, Snake seems confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m done. I give up,” Joey tells him. “I have been trying to get through to you all year, and all you ever do is freeze me out! Look, whatever your goddamn problem is, you clearly think you’re better off dealing with it on your own, so you’ll just have to do exactly that.” Snake stares at him, and as a final, cruel barb he doesn’t really mean, he adds: “Good luck getting laid man.”

Chapter Text

So here it is. Graduation. For his friends and girlfriend, not him. Joey thinks about this as he pushes salad around his plate, not wanting to take another mouthful, finding the dressing too sour, but not wanting Caitlin’s parents to see him as the sort of overgrown child who needs to be told to eat his vegetables.

He’s overthinking things. It was such a nice gesture for them to invite him to her graduation dinner, after all. It’s been a pleasant evening, even if conversation has been a little stilted. Still, Caitlin’s mom has always liked him, and her dad is nice enough, even if things are a bit awkward ever since they separated. Pat seems cool, and his wife – well, not a word to Caitlin, but that is one serious babe. He can see why Pat wanted to put a ring on that finger ASAP.

And it’s nice feeling part of the family like this. It makes him feel like he and Caitlin could be together forever.

But will I still feel the same next year?

“I hope you are serious about my daughter, Mr. Jeremiah,” Mr. Ryan’s voice interrupts his thoughts. “I would hate to see her get hurt.”

“Dad,” Caitlin hisses, and it comes laced with something, the hint of something past that he has no idea about.

Mr. Ryan looks a little embarrassed, while Mrs. Ryan averts her eyes. Patrick grimaces. There is something they all know, that he doesn’t. “Forgive me Joey,” says Mr. Ryan. “I don’t mean to accuse you of anything. It’s just… you know what men are like. As a father, I have to worry.”

“Dad, really,” Caitlin mutters, rolling her eyes, while Joey is lost for words for a second.

Still, he finds them eventually. “Rest assured Mr. Ryan, I am so, so serious about your daughter,” he says, while the ring in his pocket feels like it’s burning a hole through him. I just hope she’s as serious about me. “I would rather die than hurt her.”

“Amazing, the party’s still going on,” Caitlin comments as they roll up outside Lucy’s house.

“I can’t believe it, it’s almost midnight,” he says. Midnight, after all, is when Cinderella’s carriage turns back into a pumpkin.

He throws his arm around her as they make their way inside, him telling her once more how proud he is of her – which he is. He’s still working on being happy for her, but he is proud of her. She’s so smart, graduating a year early, while he’s graduating a year late. It’s enough to make you wonder what she sees in him.

They ring the doorbell and Lucy answers, clad in a form hugging silver dress that anyone who appreciates the female body couldn’t help but notice. She greets Caitlin with a hug, and Joey is thrown only for a second. It did surprise him to discover that Caitlin and Lucy had grown so close during their advanced classes, so close they’re planning on going away to university next year together. He didn’t even notice. He still remembers when Lucy was the one person who could do worse on a spelling test than him; he guesses school really does work for some people.

But it’s not like he’s jealous of Lucy or anything crazy like that, just because she’s going away with Caitlin to university and is going to be sharing a dorm with her, at a time when things are known to happen between chicks that wouldn’t happen otherwise. But like, even if Caitlin is – into chicks that way, Lucy’s his friend, she wouldn’t do that to him right? And she’s not into chicks. She has a boyfriend, and she and Bronco seem very happy together.

Then again, she was always so close to L.D…

Joey shakes the thought away as he and Caitlin go their separate ways, catching up with various people. Instinctively, he starts looking for Wheels and Snake. He heard Wheels wasn’t at the graduation ceremony, actually, but whether or not he got the marks to pass, he wouldn’t miss a party (or an excuse to drink). And Lucy’s always had a soft spot for him, for reasons he doesn’t fully understand (he doesn’t think it’s because she likes him, but it’s something) so she definitely would have invited him.

Still, it’s Snake he sees first, out by the pool. He’s talking to BLT, a beer in both their hands. That’s almost a relief; those two haven’t really talked since the Michelle incident back before Spring Break. But they seem to be getting along just fine now, and Joey hopes they can bury the hatchet. They always used to be friends, after all.

But then BLT says something. He can’t hear what it is – the music is a bit too loud – but he can see the way Snake stiffens up, the way he raises one arm like he might punch BLT. He sees BLT throw his arms up in supplication, he thinks he sees him mouth the words Just kidding.

Snake storms off, and Joey waits until he is fully out of earshot before he comes up to BLT from behind. “Another fight, narrowly averted?”

BLT seems surprised by his approach, but chuckles. “Man, I don’t know what that guy’s problem is,” he says, taking a sip from his beer. “We used to be friends.”

Well, you did punch him in the face that one time. You’d think, with Michelle out of the picture, BLT and Snake could be cool with each other again, but perhaps Michelle was never really what it was about. “Yeah, I don’t get him either, and I’m his best friend.” He doesn’t know what Snake’s problem is, but he told himself he was giving up trying to figure it out. It only ever makes Snake mad at him.

BLT is quiet for a moment. “Just, when is he gonna learn to lighten up and take a joke?”

Joey should come to Snake’s defense, they are still friends after all, but he just shrugs and says “Beats me.”

He finds the two of them together by the pool table, Wheels bending over as he shoots his shot. “Hey guys,” he says and Wheels stands back up, quick to show him a picture of his new car. Really, and they thought his car was a piece of shit…

Joey opts to be kind though. “Hey, that’s great,” he says, even though he’s sure Wheels is gonna find himself stranded in the middle of Manitoba in that thing.

Snake is less polite. “It only needs to be completely fixed,” he says, and Joey just assumes he’s imagining the emphasis on the word completely.

“Trust me,” says Wheels, echoing Joey’s words back to him. “But it has to be out of the guy’s lot by Monday. Can you give me a tow?”

And Wheels is, still, his best friend, that’s the least he can do. “Yeah, I can give you a tow after work. How about tomorrow?”

“That’d be great, thanks a lot,” says Wheels, and Snake interrupts as Wheels wraps his lips around his beer bottle.

“I’d love to help you guys, but I have to work late tomorrow,” he says. “Snake’s the name, lifeguard’s the game. I got the job.” He shoots, but the balls don’t quite go where he means them to.

“Hey, congratulations man,” Joey tells him, decidedly not thinking about any of the reasons he thought Snake might want this job. That’s none of his business, after all.

Snake isn’t gonna make it easy, however. He sighs dramatically. “I can see it now. Some amazingly beautiful woman is drowning and I have to save her. I give her mouth to mouth… she’s so grateful she insists on having sex with me.”

Wheels laughs just a little too loud. “Yeah right.”

Joey laughs too, even though he’s not sure Wheels has the right to be laughing (and then he has to wonder why he thinks that, when Wheels is still the only one of them who’s ever had sex, after all). “Well something’s gotta happen,” Snake insists. “I’m not going to university a virgin.”

“Sure you are,” Joey laughs, because Snake’s always been such a disaster at turning liking girls, or girls liking him, into anything happening physically, why should he change now?

For a second he thinks of BLT, that fight he and Snake didn’t quite have earlier. But if Snake wants to pretend that never happened, why shouldn’t he?

Snake stands up and draws closer to him, his pool cue ramrod straight between his legs. “And this from the guy who’ll never get into Caitlin’s pants.”

And okay, he thought he told Snake that in confidence, but it’s not like it’s a secret or anything, is it? “Oh, you don’t think so?”

He manages to play it cool, and Snake matches his energy. “No, I don’t think so.” And Joey fights away the voice at the back of his head that whispers Well, you would know.

“My two virgin buddies,” Wheels says as he bends over the pool table once more, lining up his cue, interrupting them before it can turn into a fight or anything. “Who will be the first to get laid? Let the games begin.”

He shoots, sending a ball straight into the hole, making Joey laugh and Snake just look annoyed. Then Joey looks at his watch. “Oh, it’s time,” he says.

“Time for what?” Wheels asks.

Joey grins at them. “Excuse me, gentlemen,” and then he leaves them alone to their little game. As he goes he hears Wheels telling Snake it’s his shot, but he’s gonna miss.

“Don’t you know what day it is?”

Caitlin just grins at him, a little confused. “What?”

He’s trying not to be hurt she doesn’t remember. “Three years ago?”

“I don’t know, just tell me, what?”

He pulls her toward the bed. It’s not a big deal she doesn’t remember. “Three years ago, today… we went out on our very first date.”

He’s not quite sure that’s true, but he’s not counting the movie they saw for a school assignment, or the one that ended in her pouring cokes all over his head. No wonder she doesn’t remember, really. “You remember?” and she sounds surprised.

“And in honour of the occasion, I got you sort of a graduation present.”

He hands her the ring, and she looks thrilled. “Joey, it’s beautiful.” Yeah, and only sixty five bucks.

Well, here goes nothing. “It’s, um… also sort of an engagement ring?”

And Caitlin just stares at him, her smile falling. “A what?”

“An engagement ring, you know, like marriage.” She knows what an engagement ring is, moron. But Caitlin doesn’t look happy anymore, not like Alexa, showing off her ring to anyone who walks by. “We don’t actually have to get married until you finish university, but I was thinking – you could stay, and go to university here,” and he’s not really asking her to give that much up, is he? There are plenty of good universities in Toronto. “That way we could be together.”

Caitlin looks like she doesn’t know what to say. “Joey, I really like you–”

“And I really love you.”

She doesn’t say it back. “But I’m just eighteen, I want a career, I wanna do stuff and see stuff.” Why can’t you do all that married to me? “I’m just not ready for a commitment.” At least not to me.

It’s a no, the answer is no. He gets up from the bed and she follows him. “You understand, don’t you?”

And he has to understand, doesn’t he? He’s always trying so hard to understand. She tries to give him the ring back, but he won’t let her. The ring has to mean something, doesn’t it, even if it doesn’t mean what he wants it to mean.

As he leaves the bedroom Alexa proudly shows him her ring. She looks so happy. “That’s really nice, Alexa,” he mutters and leaves.

As he leaves the party he finds himself thinking about, of all people, Michelle. How she moved out of home at sixteen to stay with BLT. Maybe BLT didn’t really deserve that in the end, but still – Caitlin doesn’t even want to stay in the same city as him. He knows it’s not quite the same thing, but still, he wants a girl to love him like that. He wants Caitlin to love him like that. Why doesn’t she?

“Are you going home?”

Joey is a bit surprised to have his thoughts interrupted by a voice. Tessa Campanelli? He doesn’t know her all that well, but she’s in his class. “Yeah, why?”

“Can I get a ride? We live pretty close.”

And Joey isn’t going to leave some girl to walk home alone after midnight, he’s not a monster. “Sure.”

As they get in the car he asks about Todd – he thinks that’s the guy’s name. They’re having a fight. She asks about Caitlin. “Are you guys splitting up?”

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he mutters bitterly. He never does.

As he drops her off she seems reluctant to get out of the car, and the door doesn’t want to let her either. Stupid cursed car. “The door’s kinda tricky, you gotta pop it–”

But when he leans over their faces are suddenly close, close enough to kiss. Her hand caresses his jaw and he remembers what Yick said about Tessa. Easy come, easy go. When she kisses him, he – he knows he shouldn’t, but it feels good. It feels like she wants him.

“Goodnight,” Tessa smiles at him before she leaves, and Joey can only stare after her.

He can’t be that surprised really, that Tessa would show up at the drugstore. He did say they could do lunch sometime. That dress though… wow.

“I forgot you worked here,” she tells him. “I mean I knew, but I forgot.” He has to laugh. She really is very cute. “So um… thanks again for the ride.”

And the kiss? Are you going to thank me for that too? But maybe they’re not talking about that. “No, it was no problem. Any time.” And oh, that’s not a good idea.

Then she sighs. “I was wondering,” she says. “Would you… maybe like to go out sometime?”

Joey stares at her. I have a girlfriend, is his first thought, but well, does he? “Uh, I’m not sure about that–”

“If you don’t want to I’ll understand,” Tessa tells him. “I’m not trying to force you into anything.” And for a second Joey thinks of Wheels, of his girlfriend in Alberta, but he doesn’t know why.

“No, it’s just that…” and he knows he should say no, but an ugly voice at the back of his mind whispers well if Caitlin doesn’t want to be with me, why shouldn’t I be with a girl who does? “Sure, why not?”

She seems so happy, and they make plans to see a movie after he helps Wheels move his car. “I’ll give you my number,” Tessa tells him as she grabs a pen and his hand. “That way if plans change, you can give me a call.”

As she scrawls her number across his palm, her hands feel so warm. She is so warm.

“See you tonight,” Tessa grins as she walks away, and Joey is left staring after her again. On some level he likes this, Tessa showing up at his place of work in a hot yellow dress, clearly wanting him to want her. It makes him feel good, sexy, desirable. It’s nice to be the one pursued for a bit, not always the pursuer.

But what about Caitlin? he wonders, and speak of the fucking devil, as soon as Tessa walks away she walks around the corner, still in that waitress uniform that has given him god knows how many fantasies ever since she’s been wearing it. Really, he’s starting to understand why Snake was so stressed out that time Spike and Michelle were both into him.

“You’re upset,” Caitlin tells him, and he tries to deny it. Why should I be upset? That my girlfriend doesn’t feel the same way I feel about her? “I know you Joey. I just want to say I’m sorry.” For what exactly? “You caught me by surprise. Things are very confusing for me right now,” and yeah, no shit. “I mean, I have to make every decision about the rest of my life–”

Is that the only thing you’re confused about? he wonders, but he hates seeing her distressed like this. “Caitlin, calm down,” he says, not sure that will calm her down anymore than it did Snake.

“–But I still really like you, and I wanna keep seeing you, I just can’t promise anything.”

She tries to give him the ring back, but he won’t let her. He hopes, even if she does move on and discover she wants – something else from life, she will keep it, as proof it did mean something.

“I’ll wear it on my right hand, okay?” she promises, and that is enough for him. “So, back to normal?”

Maybe I’m just – not normal. Joey’s not sure they’ve ever been normal. But he kisses her and for a second, forgets all about Tessa.

“So, what do you think?”

Joey opts to be tactful again. “It’s uh, it’s got character,” he says, even as he struggles to get the door to close. “I’ll say that much.”

“I know it doesn’t look like much now,” says Wheels, “but I can fix it up.” Somehow, it doesn’t sound like he’s talking about the car. “This is my freedom, man, my future.”

If you say so. It almost feels like when Wheels was planning on running away from home, so sure he could take care of himself. But Wheels is an adult now, and if he wants to run away to Alberta, no one can stop him. “That’s great, but do you think it’s going to make it across the country?”

“Oh yeah, all it needs is a battery and a paint job,” Wheels insists. If only everything could be fixed so easily. “Come September, she’s taking me to Calgary and Karen. A fresh start. No more living with my grandparents.”

Is that all you think you’ll finally be free of? The thought makes Joey uneasy, and he checks his watch to distract himself. “Listen, can we hurry this up? I’ve got a date.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Wheels says, but then he pauses, confused. “I thought Caitlin was working tonight?”

Joey hesitates, but he doesn’t want to lie – not to Wheels anyway; on some level, it still feels like he has a point to prove to Wheels. “She is, I’m going out with Tessa Campanelli.”

Wheels grins in disbelief. “What?”

“What, she asked me out, I didn’t ask her,” Joey shrugs. “Besides, she’s pretty cute.”

Wheels still doesn’t look like he believes this. “But uh, I thought you were crazy about Caitlin?”

Oh, and you’ve never hooked up with anyone you weren’t absolutely crazy about? “I am,” he insists. “Look, this is just a date man, it’s no big deal. We go out, we see a movie, some pizza, I take her home, it’s over.” And after all these years, Joey knows what it sounds like when someone is trying to convince themselves of something more than anyone else.

Still Wheels, for all his faults, isn’t the type to judge. “Your life man.”

They finally get around to towing the car, and Joey has to laugh as the bumper comes straight off. “It’s not funny Joey,” Wheels mutters. “I can fix it,” he says, even as the car starts sliding away from him.

He and Tessa are having a great time. They have the same taste in movies, and pizza toppings – he laughs easily when he’s around her. “So that was a pretty funny movie,” she tells him, and Joey thinks of his first not-quite-date with Caitlin, when they had to write a film review and their wildly different opinions on Clown Academy IV. If Caitlin saw that movie with him, she’d probably tell him it was sexist. He’s not even sure she’d be wrong, really, but…

“Why can’t life be like that?” he asks, as he’s felt so bogged down with everyone else’s problems these past couple of years. It’s not an easy thing for Joey G. Jeremiah, G for Goofball, to carry. “Why does everything have to be so serious?”

And as he stares across the table at Tessa, he thinks it would be easier if he could be in love with a girl like her. A girl who’s in his grade, who laughs at his jokes, who so clearly and blatantly wants him. Someone who he never has to wonder what they’re thinking.

And maybe that’s why he gives in when she tells him she doesn’t have to be home for another hour and a half, and asks him what he wants to do

“So, how far did you get?”

Really, for someone who was always so shy to talk about girls, Wheels is surprisingly happy to hear about them. Then again, he’s been different ever since he came back from Calgary. “Third base,” he says, and really, it felt so good with Tessa, who so clearly, obviously wanted him, who was clearly struggling to keep herself under control as much as him. Yick wasn’t lying about her being an animal, but Joey has no complaints. “I swear, I thought I was gonna get home, I was going crazy.” Caitlin’s never made him feel wanted like that.

Caitlin. The thought of her gives him pause. “But, you know, Caitlin’s still my chick, I’m going out with her Thursday.” He likes Tessa, but he loves Caitlin. This is for her sakes really, so she can take her time and wait until she’s ready. That’s all this is.

Wheels just nods.

“Well I know I’m going to take environmental issues and a woman’s studies course,” Caitlin is telling him as he drives her home. Women’s studies, of course. Caitlin’s always been a feminist, but he can’t help but imagine the sorts of women she’d meet there. “I want to take political science too, but then I’d have to drop journalism… I don’t know.”

Joey knows the feeling, being not quite sure what’s going on or what you’re meant to do. “Well,” he reaches out, puts his arm around her, “you could take a year off, think about it?”

Caitlin laughs. “Yeah, but then why did I study so hard to graduate this year?”

And really, good question, why did she? Does Caitlin have something she’s trying to get away from too?

Joey doesn’t want to think about that. “Right,” he says. “Look, stop worrying about it and give me a kiss.”

They kiss, but when he tries to take it further she stops him. Of course she does. Joey sighs, frustrated. He doesn’t want to pressure her, really he doesn’t, but he doesn’t want to have to. He wants her to want him, the same way Tessa does. “Don’t you trust me?” he asks, and he wonders if he’s the one who ought to be asking her that. “Why can’t we do what we both want to do?” You do want to do it someday, right?

“I just don’t think it’s right,” she tells him, before kissing him and saying goodnight. But Joey hates to leave her like that, hates the thought she’ll think he’s mad because she won’t.

“When can I see you again?” he asks, and she tells him.

“Um, I’m working late shifts and weekends.”

“Great, I’m working days.” It’s starting to feel like this really isn’t meant to be; that no matter how much he loves her, it isn’t enough, it will never be enough. Is that why you’re looking for a back up, Jeremiah?

She kisses him one more time before she leaves. Joey has to stare after her as she goes.

Then, when he gets home, he gets a phone call from Tessa.

“I really am a good cook.”

Joey has to laugh. She is so cute when she’s embarrassed. “Sure you are,” he teases her. “So do you want to order pizza? We could ask them to burn it–”

And Tessa, with a cheeky smile, tosses the spilled pasta in his face. “Here, take that! And that!”

He laughs as he goes running for the mushrooms, tossing them back at her. From then on it’s a food fight, just like in that movie they saw. It’s so silly, but he’s having so much fun. He always has fun with Tessa. She doesn’t take herself too seriously. She makes him feel like a fourteen year old again, dumb and fun, before he had anything serious to worry about. It’s a welcome relief, not being worried all the time.

Easy come, easy go. But Joey doesn’t get what Yick’s problem was. So what if Tessa’s easy? What’s wrong with things being easy?

Then he catches her in his arms, and kisses her. As the old saying goes, one thing leads to another.

When he enters the garage Snake is whining about something, caressing the pin-ups that Wheels’ boss keeps all over the walls. “Hey man, the car looks great,” Joey comments to Wheels as it hangs overheard like the sword of Damocles, like it might fall and crush and kill someone.

Snake turns to him as soon as he enters. Misery loves company and all. “And there he is ladies and gentlemen, virgin number two!”

And high on his masculine triumph, Joey has to disabuse him of the notion, making a silly game show buzzer sound. “Baaangh. Wrong. I told you.” Snake starts to stand up, but Joey pushes him back down. “You’re on your own buddy.”

Maybe he ought to have more sympathy for the guy, but Snake kind of did this to himself, after all. If he hadn’t lied about Michelle and made all the girls think he’s the kind of dick who’d talk shit about them to make himself look better, he probably would have gotten laid by now. Hell, he might actually have screwed Michelle if not for…

“I did it, I did it last night,” he says as he turns to Wheels, who grins, though it doesn’t quite meet his eyes.

Behind them, Snake stares in disbelief. “You and Caitlin?”

And reluctantly, Joey has to admit the truth. “No, not Caitlin.”

“Then who, Madonna?”

He tries to force away the sensation of guilt, while Wheels easily figures it out. “Tessa.” He doesn’t judge, going to slap Joey’s hand before he realises his is dirty.

Wheels doesn’t judge, but Snake, Mr. Perfect, of course he fucking judges. “Tessa? Tessa Campanelli?”

“Hey, we were just fooling around and she got carried away,” Joey explains. “Who can blame her?”

“Welcome to the club,” Wheels congratulates him, and for once it’s nice to be part of the two when it’s two against one.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Snake stares at him. “What happened to Caitlin?”

“Nothing!” Joey insists. Okay, he knows he looks bad right now, but – he still loves Caitlin, really he does. So long as she never finds out, she won’t get hurt, right? “She’s still my woman.”

“So you have sex with Tessa?”

And really, who is Snake to be judging him so hard? “Alright, Caitlin can take her time and – wait for the right moment,” if she’ll ever finds it, “meanwhile, I get laid!”

“No luck at the pool tonight man?”

Snake, his hair still wet, glares at him. “No, apparently the only female attention I’m getting is of the pre-pubescent variety.” And Joey has to laugh. “Thanks for reminding me.”

Well geez, he was just asking. Still, getting laid has given him a magnanimous spirit, and he decides to throw Snake a bone. “You know who you should ask out?” he asks. “Spike.” 

What the hell am I saying? Joey asks himself. Spike works with Tessa after all, her and Snake going out is a one way ticket to everyone finding out his secret and everything coming crashing down. Still, it’s an objectively good solution to Snake’s dilemma, not that he seems to realise it, giving Joey a dubious look. “Spike?”

Joey shrugs. “What, she used to really like you,” he points out. “And we all know she’s not a virgin.”

Snake glares at him. “Right, Spike made one mistake when she was fourteen, and that means she’d just immediately go to bed with any guy, right?”

“What, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” he insists, and really, he wouldn’t think less of Spike if she slept with Spike – indeed, he’d be exceedingly grateful to her. “But you’re not ‘any guy’, man. She likes you.”

Snake looks away. “I like her too,” he mutters. But not as a girlfriend? “Far too much to do that to her.”

Huh. Joey frowns, not sure he gets it. So you don’t like all those women you’re trying to get laid by at the pool? But he doesn’t say that out loud. “Okay, your call man,” he says.

Snake says nothing for a long moment, just stares at the workings of Wheels’ engine. Joey wonders where Wheels even is. Probably out getting more beer.

Then Snake asks him something: “Do you even like Tessa?”

Joey pulls a face, not sure where the question is coming from. “Of course I like Tessa,” he says. “We get along great. We have a lot of fun, even when we’re not…”

“But you don’t love her, do you?” Snake asks. “If it came down to it, if you had to choose between the two of them, you’d choose Caitlin in a heartbeat, wouldn’t you?”

Joey shrugs. “Yeah, so?”

“Then how can you do this to her?!”

“To Caitlin?”

“To Tessa!” Joey stops. He can’t imagine Snake thinking of how this is going to affect Tessa, of all people. Does Snake even know Tessa? “She thinks she’s your girlfriend, Joey. Don’t you think she’s going to be hurt when she figures out you’re just using her?”

Joey recoils, offended. “I’m not just using her–”

“Aren’t you?!”

Joey finds he doesn’t have an answer to that, and he goes on the defensive. “Well who are you to be lecturing me, huh?” he says. “I remember what you said about Michelle. And now look at you, throwing yourself at any woman who’ll have you, like if you get laid once that’ll prove you’re not a f–”

He can’t be surprised to find himself slammed up against the garage wall. That was too far. “You watch your mouth, Joey,” Snake tells him, his voice low, dark, dangerous. For once Joey is genuinely scared of him.

Joey swallows hard. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll mind my own business, and you mind yours, okay?”

Snake returns his glare, but grits out “Fine.”

“What a summer. What an amazing summer.”

Snake, naturally, doesn’t see it that way. “What a lousy summer,” he grumbles, leaning against the hood of Wheels’ car while Wheels ignores them both, still focused on fixing his engine. “Middle of August, and still no girl.”

“Well then, I guess you don’t wanna hear what I did last night?” And really, Joey should back off, but he’s been pissed off at Snake ever since that not-quite-fight they had a few weeks back. Wheels takes a deep drink while Snake tells him he doesn’t. “I guess you can figure out that I had sex.” He pauses as Wheels claps him on the shoulder. “Again.”

He laughs and Snake glares. “Could you give it a rest?”

“Snake?” Wheels asks as he wanders over to the fridge, bottles clinking as he opens it. “You sure you don’t want a beer? There’s lots in the fridge.”

Honestly a beer might do Snake a world of good, might loosen him up a little, but Snake stands up straight, a concerned look on his face. “Wheels, that’s your third.”

Wheels shrugs it off. “So? I replace what I drink,” and that’s good, he guesses, that Wheels is over his whole stealing phase. “My boss’s cool.”

“That’s not my point,” says Snake, and Joey looks back and forth between them, like he’s watching a tennis match, as they argue from either side of the open hood.

“Then what is your point?!”

They stare at each other for a long moment, Wheels taking a long gulp of his beer, defiant. It’s been awhile since Joey’s felt caught in the middle like this, but he thinks he ought to intervene before it turns into a fight or something.

He gets up, putting an arm around Snake’s waist. “Snake, do you know I get laid every week?” Okay, maybe that’s not a great de-escalation strategy, but if he gets Snake to punch him instead of Wheels, that’s something. Really, it’s the sort of comment that Wheels would have come to Snake’s defense over once, but he doesn’t do that anymore. Not since Spring Break.

“Joey, shut up!”

They carry on bickering, while Wheels returns to his engine. Then, out of nowhere, it starts working.

Huh, I guess miracles do happen. Snake can’t seem to believe it either, while Wheels is thrilled. “Let’s go for a drive!”

He and Snake both hesitate, but Wheels seems so happy, and Joey wants to be happy for him. Eventually Snake is, reluctantly, persuaded, and they all drive off. “Goodbye grandparents, hello Karen,” says Wheels, even as he goes straight through a sign telling him to stop.

They return to the garage once Wheels notices leakage in the engine, but Snake, still in a bad mood, tells them he has to go to work. “Hey, have fun with all those chicks in bikinis. Try not to put anyone’s eye out,” Wheels calls after him, and Snake scowls before he leaves.

Joey frowns, the comment feeling out of place, from Wheels. “You know, maybe we should back off the guy a bit,” he says. “I mean, this virgin thing clearly really bothers him.” For one reason or another.

Wheels shrugs it off. “Well I don’t see what the big deal is,” he says, opening up another beer.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just, the guy’s such a drama queen,” Wheels sighs in frustration, and it’s kinda funny to hear Wheels complain about somebody else causing drama, but he gets it. “He can’t get laid, so what? I mean, he’s going to university after all, you’d think he’d get plenty of chances there.”

Okay, he finds Snake’s constant whining about his virginity annoying too – hence why he makes fun of him for it so much, he guesses – but it doesn’t bother him the way it bothers Wheels. He always goes to get another beer when Snake starts up about it.

“Wheels, man,” he starts, not really sure what he’s trying to ask. He knows he said he’d mind his own business, but technically, he only promised to butt out of Snake’s business, not Wheels’, right? “Is there – something going on with you and Snake?”

Wheels just stares at him. “What could possibly be going on with me and Snake?”

And Joey does, finally, have an idea. But he has no idea how to say it.

“It’s just, I wonder about them sometimes,” says Joey as Tessa relaxes against his chest, letting him rest and recover. He doesn’t know why he’s telling her about this, of all people. Maybe because this thing with Tessa, it’s not really real, so he can talk to her about things he wouldn’t tell anyone else, he’d be too afraid of the consequences.

(Well, Joey, have we learned a lesson here? whispers Snake’s voice from a million years ago. About not saying things behind people’s backs you wouldn’t say to their faces?)

He certainly can’t imagine telling Caitlin, what with her personal issues. She’d want him to do something about it, and what in the hell is he meant to do?

(It’s not like he’s really cheating on Caitlin. He’s only doing this so she can take her time, wait until she’s ready, he doesn’t want to pressure her or anything – but hey, he’s a guy, he’s got needs.)

“It’s just…” he sighs. “They act like there’s something between them. Something weird and tense and bitter, and I’m not a part of it, I couldn’t be.”

Tessa pulls her head up, looking at him with a confused frown. “What, you reckon they’re screwing?”

“What, no!” Joey replies instinctively. God, he hopes not. If Snake has spent this long whining about still being a virgin and it turns out he’s not one, Joey’s gonna kill him.

Still, Tessa, in her own uniquely Tessa way, has hit upon something there, forced him to confront something that, despite having suspected for a long time, he would never have been brave enough to put into words on his own, like the possibility maybe he and Caitlin aren’t really meant for each other after all. Maybe that’s why he does this with her. “No, I don’t think they’re screwing, just…” he sighs again. “Maybe, deep down, they want to?”

Tessa just stares at him for a moment. “Huh,” she says, then settles back down against his chest.

Joey sighs one more time. He doesn’t know why he expected her to care. It’s not like it has anything to do with her.

“Why can’t I go to Bronco’s party with you?”

Joey doesn’t want to say Snake was right, but it’s hard to shake the thought he might have been. “I told you, it’s just a small party, it’s mostly graduates,” he lies through his teeth. Tessa is unconvinced.

“Do I embarrass you or something?”

And no, she really doesn’t. If it wasn’t for Caitlin, he’d be proud to have Tessa on his arm. But he’s with Caitlin. “Look I’m sorry okay, you just can’t go.”

Tessa stares at him. “You do like me, don’t you?”

Do you even like Tessa? “Tessa, you know I like you.” But he loves Caitlin.

Then she starts asking if she can see him tomorrow, on his birthday. She thinks she’s your girlfriend Joey. He really, really doesn’t want to have to think that Snake was right. But why shouldn’t Tessa think she’s his girlfriend? He told her a secret he’s never told anyone else, he could never tell anyone else, isn’t that the sort of thing you’d do with your girlfriend?

“Don’t you wanna see me?” she asks, and yeah, he does, but if it’s between her and Caitlin, he chooses Caitlin.

When he tells her they can go out next week, she looks away and bitterly mutters, “Next week.”

“Tessa, would you lighten up?” What he liked about Tessa was that everything with her felt fun and easy, such a relief after all the drama of the last two years. This isn’t fun or easy. “I don’t like you when you’re like this.”

It’s the coward’s way out, he knows, but he asks her to leave before he gets in trouble, and she goes. But before she does she hands him his birthday present, and Joey is left staring at the t-shirt reading naughty or nice, wondering which one he is.

“So I’m heading up to Bronco’s cabin with Lucy to set up for the party,” Caitlin tells him over his birthday dinner. Of course, Lucy. “Do you want to come with us?”

Joey is a little surprised by the question, but he doesn’t let it throw him. “Oh, I promised Wheels I was gonna go up with him in his car, and he gets off work around one, so I guess I’ll meet you up there?”

Caitlin chuckles. “Do you think his car’s actually gonna make it?”

And really, it’s nice of Caitlin to ask about his friends, to be keeping up with what he tells her about them – even if he could never tell her everything about them. “Yeah, he got it certified this afternoon,” he tells her. “Actually it doesn’t look half bad.” Wheels did a pretty good job fixing it up. Apparently he can apply himself when he’s properly motivated. Joey’s still not sure how he feels about this ‘moving to Alberta to be with some chick’ plan, but if Wheels is convinced that’s what he wants, who is Joey to tell him it isn’t?

The conversation moves on. “I think you are a wonderful guy, Joey Jeremiah,” Caitlin tells him, and that guilt he’s been struggling not to feel all summer peaks its ugly head up again. He looks away, even as he smiles and blushes. “And I’d like to propose a toast.”

“Okay.”

She raises her glass to him. “I know we haven’t been able to spend a lot of time together this summer,” she says, and god, that guilt will not go away. “And I really appreciate you being so understanding.” Right, he’s always so understanding. He always feels like he understands everything.

“It’s nothing,” he tells her.

“To me it’s something,” and well, it’s nice to feel at least one person is grateful to him, even if maybe she shouldn’t be. “To you.”

They clink glasses, but this time when he sips his wine Joey thinks it tastes a little sour.

Then she starts telling him how her mom has gone to Montreal for the weekend, and how she hates to sleep all alone. Joey can’t quite look at her. “Tell me about it. Make sure you set the alarm before you go to bed at night.”

“Joey.” Caitlin’s foot brushes his leg under the table, and he’s forced to look up. “My mom is away. I’m all alone.”

She pushes something into his hand, and he opens it to see what it is. A condom.

He stares across the table at her, and sees Caitlin smiling at him, nodding – finally ready, eager, really truly wanting him. Despite everything, Joey grins.

He doesn’t know what to do when Caitlin starts crying afterward. So he just holds her and kisses her shoulder, and hopes that’s going to be enough.

“I don’t know why I’m crying,” she says, and well, that makes two of them. “I mean, it’s not like I’m unhappy. Yeah, it hurt a little more than I thought,” it hurts? Joey never thought of that. Tessa never said anything. “But that’s not why I’m crying.”

“It’s okay to be emotional,” he tells her, and he hopes that is the reason – that she’s crying because it meant too much to her, and not because she really didn’t like it, that the problem was never just not being ready.

God, he hates seeing her upset. “Here comes the tear eater,” he grins as he wipes away the tears. “Let’s suck up those tears, c’mon.” And she giggles at his silliness.

She smiles and holds his hand as the tears finally abate, and it would be so sweet to stay with her like this, holding her in his arms, but reality sinks back in as he checks the time. “I gotta go.”

“Already?” she asks, and it sounds like she’s going to miss him.

“I have to,” he says, “I can’t stay here all night, my parents will kill me.” And it doesn’t feel fair really, that he’s nineteen years old and still has to worry about coming home before his parents get mad. Everyone else is moving on to freedom and adulthood next year, but not him.

Caitlin stares as he gets out of bed, starts putting his clothes back on. “I can’t believe how calmly you’re taking this,” she muses. “I was so nervous.”

He tries to shake away his guilt again. “I was nervous.” That, at least, isn’t a lie – sure it wasn’t his first time, but it was his first time with Caitlin. That has to count for something, right?

She gazes up at him, and for a second Joey feels like he’s fifteen again, when he first fell in love with her. “We have to see more of each other,” she practically sighs. “I know it’s going to be so much better the next time.”

And really, after almost two months of sex with Tessa, it’s surprising how much it pales in comparison to one night with Caitlin. He wants to believe that, to get lost in the fantasy, but reality catches up with him quickly. “‘Next time’,” he echoes her. “You’re leaving for university next week.”

But Caitlin surprises him. “Well… it’s not completely decided yet.”

Joey’s jaw almost drops open in shock. “You mean you might stay?!”

Caitlin smiles at him. “Maybe.”

“Caitlin, you gotta stay,” he says, dropping onto the bed again. Okay, maybe he doesn’t deserve this, but – he can’t let her go now, he just can’t. “You’d make me so happy.”

But she just tells him “We’ll see.”

As she walks him to the door, she tells him how glad she is they did it right, that it was the first time for both of them. As she embraces him, Joey is glad she can’t see his face. Still, he’s not sure what it means that this feels more like his first time than his first time with Tessa did.

“Tessa called last night.”

And Joey was in such a good mood. “Tessa called here?” he asks, and his mom nods, clearly not knowing why that’s a big deal. “What did you tell her?”

“I told her you were out.” Yeah, and you weren’t.

“Mom.”

Mom gives him a skeptical look. “What?”

“No, nothing.” He can’t tell his mom, after all. She’d be so disappointed in him.

Then the phone rings, and mom goes to answer it. “Hello?” A pause. “Good morning, Tessa.”

Joey looks up in alarm, trying desperately to try and get Mom to make his excuses for him, but of course she isn’t going to let him get away with that. And Snake and Wheels always say he’s spoiled. “Yes he is,” and Mom glares at him. “Joey.”

Fuck, thinks Joey as he takes the phone. “Hi Tessa?”

Tessa is in no mood to mince words. “Did you have a nice dinner?” her voice drips with sarcasm. “Out with your parents?”

Joey fumbles for excuses. “Um, I meant to tell you about that, it all got changed–”

“I bet,” she seethes. “I think you lied to me.”

And okay, he lied, but she can’t know he’s been lying about Caitlin this whole time, can she? “Listen Tessa, I can go out with whoever I want, we’re not married you know.” She thinks she’s your girlfriend, Joey. You’d think she would at least want to give him the chance to tell her something different, that he and the guys went to a strip club again or something – something bad, but not as bad as the truth. “Anyway, what were you doing calling my house, were you checking up on me?”

There’s a painful silence on the other end of the line. “I was going to sing happy birthday on your answering machine,” she admits. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

And suddenly Joey’s heart hurts. Oh god, what have I done? “Look, Tessa, I’m sorry–”

“You don’t have the slightest idea what you’ve done,” she cuts him off, which leaves Joey a little confused. It sounds like she’s talking about something more than just lying to her. “I actually thought I loved you.” You loved me? “I hate you! And I never wanna see you again!”

She hangs up the phone, and mom stares at him as he frantically tries to call her back, but she won’t answer. When he finally gives up, he sees the judgement in Mom’s eyes. “Joey–”

“Mom, please, don’t.” He swallows the lump of guilt and shame in his throat. “I need to get ready for the party.”

He’s still wearing the T-shirt Tessa bought him.

At least he’s driving up to Bronco’s with Wheels, the one person he can talk to without being afraid of being judged. “I mean, what did I do that was so wrong?”

Wheels raises his eyebrows. “You lied to her.” Okay, maybe he’s not entirely unwilling to judge.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t a big lie.” At least, people tell bigger. “I mean she didn’t know I was with Caitlin.”

Then Snake finally emerges from his house, carrying enough stuff to trek the Andes mountains. Snake’s parents always saddle him with so much baggage. “I’m not going to catch any butterflies Mom,” he valiantly tries to tell his mom while she forces a net into his hands. Jeez, Joey can see why Snake wants to get out of this place.

“Snake, hurry up!” Wheels calls out, eager to get away too. “Look, forget about her,” he tells Joey. “If she’s gonna flip out, you don’t need her.”

Of course Wheels would say that, the same guy who’s never met a chick he really needed. Joey pauses for a second. Well, that’s not fair. What about Karen? Still, he’s not all that sure about Karen. Sometimes he wonders if she even exists; if Wheels hasn’t been lying to them ever since Spring Break (since Snake called him what he called him). Joey’s never seen a photo of her. If Snake would lie about losing his virginity, why wouldn’t Wheels?

But no, Joey doesn’t think Wheels is just lying about Karen, even if he does know Wheels to lie. And he’s never said it out loud, but he must be in love with her, right? Why else would he be moving halfway across the country for her?

Then he remembers this conversation isn’t about Wheels’ girl problems, but his own. “I just don’t know what happened,” he says, but a voice at the back of his head hears an old echo: Maybe I’m doing something wrong. Maybe I’m being punished. “Chicks.”

Snake finally makes it into the car, and Wheels teases him. “You sure you brought enough stuff?”

“Blame my mother, please,” Snake mutters bitterly. Indeed, Snake’s mom is still trying to saddle him with more as they drive off, calling out to him that he forgot his fishing rod. Wheels takes pity on him and takes off quick as lightning.

“Man, she rides like a dream,” Wheels comments as they cruise down the highway. You have to hand it to him, the car handles pretty well. You’d never know what a wreck it was up until this summer. “This baby’s gonna take me all the way out west. Freedom! No more grandparents.”

Is that all you think moving to Calgary is gonna fix Wheels? But of course he’d never say that aloud. “Yeah, I can’t wait to get out of here too,” Snake adds, and it makes Joey uneasy.

“I don’t like everybody leaving,” Joey comments. You two especially. It still feels like they’re both running away from something, just in opposite directions. Maybe, what they’re running away from is each other.

“Well not everybody’s leaving,” Snake points out. “You still have Tessa.”

Right. He doesn’t want to have to tell Snake this, to deal with the inevitable I told you so, but he can’t hide it from him forever. “No I don’t.”

Snake seems confused, and Wheels explains. “They had a fight. She dumped him.”

Well jeez, way to spare my pride Wheels. He can’t say he expects Snake to show much sympathy. “Well well well, back to celibacy?”

Joey doesn’t say anything, but this time, Wheels feels the need to share with Snake the bad news. “Baaahng,” he echoes Joey’s stupid buzzer noise, “wrong. Guess who got into Caitlin’s pants?”

Wheels says it like it’s a victory for him somehow, and Joey’s a little confused. What does me finally nailing Caitlin have to do with you? But he grins, relieved that Wheels is on his side.

Snake just seems disgusted. “What?” He pauses for a second. “Out of one bed and into the other, real classy Jeremiah.”

Would you stop judging me? Joey thinks bitterly. Like you wouldn’t have fucked any girl who’d let you this summer. Really, he is so sick of Snake projecting all his issues onto him – if not him, then Yick, BLT, Michelle, there’s always someone Snake is taking his goddamn bullshit out on.

“And with seconds remaining in the game, it stands at Joey – 2, Snake – no score,” Wheels laughs, and somehow that rubs Joey up the wrong way too. Why does it bother you so much that Snake’s still a virgin, Wheels? Still, he laughs.

“Don’t laugh Joey,” Snake points out. “Caitlin’s leaving for university soon.”

“Well she might not,” Joey says, and Snake stares in disbelief, like he cannot believe everything is falling into place so perfectly for him. “I hope not. I love that chick.” And maybe Joey doesn’t really deserve to have this work out so well for him, but he is not going to lose her.

“Hey, did I tell you?” he tells Wheels just as they’re parking. “My parents agreed to pay off the rest of my car repayments for my birthday.

And just for a second, Wheels’ smile falters. “Really? That’s amazing.”

Right, probably not a good idea to rub it in Wheels’ face that his parents did something nice for him. Joey tries to move the conversation elsewhere. “But uh, for the record, I’m not still not driving all the way to Alberta to rescue you if your car breaks down.”

Wheels rolls his eyes while Snake gets out of the car. “My car is fine Joey,” he says. “I fixed it.”

“If you say so man.”

“Besides,” Wheels points out, “I spent two hundred on my car, while you spent three thousand on yours. And neither of them worked properly.”

As they rock up at Bronco’s cabin, Caitlin emerges from the open doors. “Joey.”

“Caitlin!” he grins to see her, but finds he can’t quite read the look on her face. Is she mad at him? Or is she trying to repress a smile?

“We have to talk.” He is confused, but agrees. “Inside. It’s very serious.”

“Okay.” As he follows her in, Joey starts to panic. What, does she know? How could she know? Did Tessa tell her? They were all in the same grade up until last year, after all, they must know each other. “Is something wrong?”

“Come here.” But as they walk through the living room, Joey can feel Lucy glaring at him. It occurs to him to wonder, for all the time he’s spent being jealous of her, worrying something might happen between her and Caitlin, she might have as much, more reason to be jealous of him. Huh. Okay, he feels bad for her, but like – she’s with Bronco, isn’t she?

Caitlin appears uncomfortable. “In here.” She locks them away in one of the bedrooms, where they can have a little privacy. Under normal circumstances, Joey would think he was gonna get lucky, but now he’s just scared.

“What’s wrong?”

And then that smile she’s been hiding pops right out. “Look.” She holds up her hand, showing him her ring. “See which hand it’s on?”

Left. She’s wearing it on her left hand. “We’re engaged?!” And just for a second, Joey is the happiest he’s ever been in his life.

“We’re engaged.” Caitlin returns his smile. “I’ve decided to stay, and go to university here.”

And on some level Joey knows he doesn’t deserve this, but he’s so happy he can’t even bring himself to feel guilty anymore. “Caitlin that’s great, that’s fantastic!” he embraces her, spinning her around in his joy. “I thought you were mad at me?”

Caitlin just raises her eyebrows. “Guilty conscience?”

I hate you, I never want to see you again. Joey does his best not to flinch, not to think about Tessa. Cheating on her with Tessa, what a stupid idea, why did he do it? Because she wouldn’t put out? What does that measure up to, compared to the love of his life? Because he thought she might be gay? She just agreed to marry him, what more proof of her love does he need?

“What have you done, Joey?” And Joey can only hope his secrets will go to his grave with him.

“Nothing, trust me,” he says, and saying those words makes him feel fourteen again. He kisses her once more. “I can’t believe it. We’re engaged.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce to you… my fiancee.”

It gets a mixed reaction when he tells everyone the good news. Snake just stares at the ring on Caitlin’s finger, like he can’t believe that either. “Mrs. Jeremiah,” Lucy comments bitterly across the room, but Joey resolves to think no more about her, even as Caitlin stares.

Snake is the first one to offer his congratulations, though his smile doesn’t meet his eyes. “Thanks Snake,” says Caitlin, with no reason to doubt his honesty.

Joey embraces her. “Jeremiah’s the name, and I’ve got it all.” He’s still trying not to think about Tessa.

He and Caitlin are playfully bickering when Wheels enters the room, supping from yet another beer. He at least seems happy for him.

“Snake,” says Joey. “This, by the way, is a girl.” And he knows, he knows, he should leave well enough alone. He should be grateful Snake isn’t blabbing all his secrets, even though he has every reason to, but he can’t seem to help himself. He can’t shake the feeling that the ten minutes of terror he just experienced, the guilty well in his stomach he’s been feeling ever since Tessa’s call this morning, it’s all Snake’s fault somehow. “I know you don’t know much about them, so I thought I’d bring one over…”

“Shut up,” says Snake and he tries to walk away, but Joey just can’t bring himself to let it go.

“No seriously,” he says, grabbing Snake by the shoulders. “I know you don’t have too much experience with them…”

“That’s it! I’ve had enough!”

“Oh come on,” Joey laughs the whole thing off. “He’s just jealous. He doesn’t have a girlfriend.” But Caitlin, Caitlin looks worried.

“You shut up Joey!” Snake walks over to Wheels, who drinks as he gazes up at him, while Joey returns to Caitlin. “If you’re not quiet there’s a thing or two I could say about you,” Snake gets up in his face, “things some people,” he turns to Caitlin, “might find pretty interesting.”

Joey’s heart skips a beat. Snake, you wouldn’t…

“Hey, whoa whoa whoa,” Wheels grabs Snake by the shoulder, holding him back, plastering on a smile. “Snake, come on.” Joey should be grateful for the help, but instead he finds he resents it, Wheels acting like he’s not half the reason Snake is being like this.

“What’s going on?” Caitlin asks, and Joey puts his arms around her. Snake is such an asshole, he thinks as he leads Caitlin outside, to safety. “What was that all about?” she asks him, and he tries to think of what to tell her.

“Nothing to do with you babe, don’t worry.” It’s not my fault you can’t get laid Snake, he broods bitterly. Who knows, if you were more honest about who you wanted to get laid by…

(It’s not like he was really cheating on Caitlin, he always told himself, but here, with her looking at him like that, he can’t imagine saying that to her face.)

Then, a few minutes later, they hear raised voices from inside. Snake and Wheels are arguing. Joey can’t hear what they’re saying, but he can see the way they get all up in each other’s faces, close enough to kiss. Great, thinks Joey. Let them finally fight or fuck it out, and leave me out of it. It doesn’t get that far however, as Lucy intervenes as soon as it threatens to turn physical, dragging Wheels away to go get chips.

Joey frowns as he watches them climb into the car. He knows Wheels has been drinking – he’s been drinking more often than not this summer – but he can’t even bring himself to care. He is sick of them, he realises. He is sick of the touchy-feeliness, he is sick of the yearning stares, he is sick of the bitter falling out. He is sick of never knowing if they’re gonna kiss or kill each other at any given moment. He is sick of their sexual tension being his problem.

Turns out, that’s the last time he sees them together for twelve years.

He finds Snake in the living room, still brewing in his own bitterness. Joey can’t say he has much sympathy. “What were you trying to do back there?” he hisses at him. “You almost blew it for me.” And really, for how long he’s spent keeping their secret… “I could have killed you, don’t you ever do anything like that again.”

Snake just stares up at him, his blue eyes full of contempt. Joey finds he can’t stand to be looked at like that for too long, and walks away. “When are you going to learn to lighten up and take a joke?” He tries to lighten the mood, because he doesn’t want to be fighting with Snake, not really. He’s just sick of getting dragged into the drama. He thinks of BLT. I don't know what that guy's problem is. We used to be friends.

“It’s not a joke to me, Joey,” Snake snaps. Yeah, I wonder why. “You’re just so full of yourself! Joey Jeremiah, what a studly guy!” Well it’s not my fault I’m straight.

Then Snake stands up. “Well let’s recap the Jeremiah summer, shall we?” he asks. “See what a swell and decent human being you’ve been.”

Joey feels that guilty feeling rising up in his stomach again. “I don’t need to listen to this.” Not from you. I don’t need to listen to you lecture me about honesty.

“No you’re gonna listen to me.” Snake grabs him by the shoulders. “Joey Jeremiah spends his summer dating Caitlin–”

And, speak of the devil. “Shut up!” he desperately hisses at Snake while he stares at her, like a deer in the headlights.

But Snake is too far gone to even notice. “–And fucking Tessa.” And he can see it on Caitlin’s face, when the words sink in. “Oh what ethics, what a hero, let’s all have a big round of applause…”

Snake trails off as he finally realises who is in the room with them. Moodily, he walks off, leaving Joey to face the music alone.

Instinctively he tries to laugh it off. “Snake’s got a really weird sense of humour.”

But of course Caitlin’s way too smart to buy that for a second. “Tessa Campanelli?” And oh, yeah, they know each other. “You were fucking Tessa Campanelli?”

He tries to deny it, but he can’t. And then Caitlin asks him the awful question: “Why?”

What can he tell her? “Well you were always busy,” and he knows it’s a lame excuse, but I thought you might be gay would sound worse. “She was there, she asked me out, I never asked her out.” She made me feel wanted. She made me feel wanted like you never did.

And somehow it’s only in that moment, that awful, horrible moment, that he realises – all his jealousy and paranoia, about Lucy, about university, about chicks in general, it’s all been for nothing. Caitlin really does love him. She wouldn’t be so heartbroken if she didn’t love him.

“I was going to stay here for you Joey,” she tells him as tears well in her eyes. “I was making all my plans around you.”

He thinks of BLT, how Michelle left home for him, and how he repaid her by cheating on her with some girl. Joey surges forward, wishing more than anything in the world he had a time machine, that he could take it all back. “You still can,” he begs. “Tessa and me, we’re through, it’s over with, it’ll never happen again–”

She throws the ring in his face. “You’re such a bastard!”

Caitlin locks herself in a bedroom and cries, while Joey pounds on the door and begs her to let him explain. In his agony, it doesn’t even occur to him to wonder where Snake went, why Wheels isn’t back yet.

Joey is in bits by the time he makes it back home. How could this have happened? How could he have let this happen? At least, his mom doesn’t seem to be home, he can put off facing her judgment a little longer.

Then his thoughts are interrupted by a ring of the phone. Who would be calling him now? He’s even more confused when he answers. “Joey Jeremiah? This is the Toronto Jail.” What’s he getting a call from the Don Jail for? Cheating on your girlfriend is bad, but it isn’t illegal. “You have a phone call.”

Then he hears Wheels’ voice on the other end of the line. “Joey?” his voice shakes. “Could you come see me please?”

“Um, sure,” he says. Then he asks a stupid question. “Where are you?”

“What’s this, I come here to see you and we still have to talk on the phone?”

Despite everything his first instinct is still to lighten the mood, make a joke, but Wheels doesn’t laugh. “This isn’t a funny place Joey,” he says. And no, it isn’t. Joey’s never seen Wheels look so scared. “I hate it.”

“I’m sorry man.” Joey doesn’t know what to say. When he looks around, all the guys here talking to their wives and girlfriends on the other side of the glass, they all look so much older than Wheels – older, bigger, stronger. “I don’t get it, why are you here?”

“I’m nineteen, I’m not a kid anymore.” Right, in the eyes of the law, Wheels is an adult, and is being treated accordingly – even if surely someone must realise he isn’t safe here.

“I’ve been charged.” Wheels’ voice trembles when he tells him. “Criminal negligence causing death. Criminal negligence causing injury times two.” Wheels’ eyes close for a second in shame. “And drunk driving.”

Joey doesn’t know what to say. He’s been Wheels’ best friend since he was ten years old. He knows the guy’s had his problems, but he always thought he’d work them out eventually. How could this have happened? How could he have let this happen? “Oh god.”

“It wasn’t my fault that kid wasn’t wearing a seatbelt!” Wheels insists.

“The cops said–”

“It wasn’t my fault Lucy wanted chips!”

Joey can only stare at him. Really, Wheels? All this time and you still can’t take any responsibility for yourself? But still he feels so sorry for him.  “And what’s with Snake?” And really, hasn’t that always been the question. “I tried to call him, but the guy won’t take my calls.” 

And it is vaguely ironic, that when Wheels is going through the most traumatic moments of his life, his second thought always ends up being why won’t Snake talk to me?

Joey is still lost for words for a second. “I don’t know, Snake and I aren’t talking.”

“But why won’t he talk to me?” And really, after that fight they had, you might expect Snake and Wheels not to be talking, but Joey knows that doesn’t matter to Wheels now. He needs Snake. Wheels has always needed Snake more than anyone else. “Best friends are supposed to stick together.”

Best friends, really? But Joey can’t say that, he can only watch as Wheels breaks down.

It takes a lot of guts to drive up to Snake’s house, but he has to try. For Wheels’ sake.

He’s still getting saddled with more stuff by his mother, worried he doesn’t have enough socks. Thankfully she leaves, and Snake carries on packing alone. “Snake?”

When Snake looks up at him, Joey can still see the fury there. “Jeremiah,” he says. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Joey wonders how he’s meant to bring this up. “Yeah well I… I went and saw Wheels today.” Snake doesn’t even look at him, he just carries on packing. It reminds Joey of watching Wheels slaving over his engine all summer, bottle of beer in hand, trying to get it fixed. “He’s really upset you won’t talk to him.”

“He’s upset?” Snake asks him, in disbelief. “His parents are killed by a drunk driver, so he goes and drives drunk and kills a kid.” Yeah, and you wouldn’t talk to him then either. The irony of it all is horrible, but Joey doesn’t know what to do about it.

“Snake, you don’t understand, he is really messed up.” Joey doesn’t know if Wheels is gonna get through this without Snake. He thinks losing Snake really might kill him.

But Snake won’t listen to him. “He’s messed up?” He sighs, furious. “What about Lucy? Did Wheels think about Lucy’s future?” And Joey flinches to think of Lucy. No matter how jealous he got of her this summer, he would never, ever have wished this on her.

Why was he so jealous of Lucy anyway?

Because of Snake. It comes to Joey like a revelation – right, he was afraid Caitlin was using him to get away from who she really wanted, because that was what Snake was always doing every time he tried to date a girl. And really, it occurs to Joey what a hypocrite he’s been, getting mad at Snake always projecting all his issues onto him, when he was projecting all Snake’s issues onto Caitlin.

So what, it’s Snake’s fault I cheated on my girlfriend? Who am I, Wheels? No, he can’t blame Snake for that. He can’t judge him either – not when he did the exact same thing to Tessa.

“And what about that kid?” Snake continues. “Two years old. Never had a chance to do anything, just – dead, gone, finished.”

Okay, it’s horrible, but… “Well not talking to Wheels isn’t going to change that.” Joey would like all this to stop with three dead bodies, not four. Or five. It’s tempting to bring up Claude, but no, he couldn’t do that to Snake.

Somehow it’s only at this moment, this horrible, awful moment that Joey realises the truth of it all. That Snake and Wheels aren’t just into each other. They’re in love. They’ve always been in love. Snake wouldn’t be this angry if he wasn’t in love.

As Snake carries on packing, Joey sighs in frustration, giving up. He’s said he was giving up before, but this time, he guesses he means it.

But as he starts to walk away, Snake calls out to him. “Listen,” he says, and Joey turns back around. “About what happened at Bronco’s,” and for a second Joey wonders what exactly they’re talking about, “I was mad.”

Right, of course, Caitlin. Snake won’t talk about the fight. “Yeah well, she probably would have found out anyway.”

Snake stares at him. “I’m just sorry it was because of me.”

But in a strange way it feels like it had to be Snake. For everything he and Caitlin have in common, it had to be Snake.

Snake climbs in the car. “So, you’re really leaving, huh?” And of course he is, Snake’s still running away from his problems. Do you think this will make it go away? Joey wonders. That him being a murderer will accomplish what him being a man never did?

“Yep,” Snake tells him bluntly, flatly. “Tell you the truth – I can’t wait to get out of here.”

Then Snake’s mom reappears, getting in the driver’s seat. She’s driving you? Joey crouches beside the car, pleading with him. “Snake,” he says, “please, I don’t know how to talk to Wheels. Couldn’t you try?” And despite everything, despite how awful they’ve been to each other all year, he still wants to offer Snake his advice, as a friend: you need to face him. If you don’t face him now, you will never come to terms with this.

“Can we go mom?!” Snake says, and she starts the ignition.

“Come on,” Joey is still begging. “We’ve been friends since grade eight.” But maybe, maybe they shouldn’t have been. Maybe if Wheels had never asked Snake to join the band in the first place, everything would be different.

Snake just stares coldly at the road ahead. “See ya Jeremiah.”

They drive off, and there is nothing left for Joey to do.

Chapter Text

So here it is, Simon and Alexa’s wedding. Joey’s been dreading it, seeing everybody again – even if it can’t be worse than school, having to deal with everybody’s questions about what happened this summer, is it true Wheels is in jail, Melanie asking how Snake is doing at university, and of course, Tessa. No, it can’t be worse than that.

Snake is one of the first people he sees at the ceremony, of course he is – it’s hard not to notice Snake. There’s some girl on his arm. She’s cute. Short and curvy like Michelle, but her mousy, frizzy hair reminds Joey of Melanie. Guess Snake has a type after all. But those glasses…

But Snake seems happy. He even shares a warm handshake with the best man; BLT does give the girl a slightly skeptical look, but Snake doesn’t notice.

At the reception he catches up with Tabbi, asks how Dwayne’s doing (still symptom free, thank god). He eyes the gift table, sees the set of beautiful silverware Michelle sent all the way from New York. Alexa might have been mad Michelle was going to miss her wedding, but there’s no way she could resist authentic New York Tiffany Silver.

Joey’s kind of glad Michelle isn’t here. He doesn’t know what he’d say to her now.

Then he overhears Amy and Allison gossiping over their wine. “Looks like somebody brought his latest beard along,” Alison says softly.

“Allison!” Amy reprimands her as she smacks her lightly across the chest, her voice still hoarse from screaming, almost two months ago. “Would you be nice? That guy saved your life, you know.”

“I know, I’m just saying,” Allison rolls her eyes, “I don’t know why he didn’t want my thanks for it, that’s all.”

“Right,” Joey interrupts them. “The only reason a guy wouldn’t want to sleep with you is because he must be gay?”

Allison stares, seemingly feeling caught out. “I didn’t say that, it was just a comment.” She pauses. “What business is it of yours anyway?”

Joey swallows hard. “He’s my friend.” At least, he was.

He walks away and over to the bar, and there, he sees Snake. “I see you’ve finally got yourself a girl,” he comments.

Snake smiles. “Yeah, Pam. She’s terrific.”

Playfully, Joey slaps him on the shoulder. “It’s about time,” but in a way, it’s fitting. Perhaps Snake could only ever really commit to a girl if Wheels was once and for all out of the picture.

“I’d like you to meet her,” Snake tells him, but as they make their way over Snake has to ask: “So how’s Wheels?”

Joey can’t tell it’s a relief that Snake would ask, that he still cares, that Wheels isn’t as dead to him as he tries to act. “Well his trial’s in November. He’s gonna plead guilty.” And Joey was so afraid that losing Snake would kill Wheels, but instead it seemed to make something sink in for him, make him realise he needed to take responsibility for what he did. Snake always could get through to Wheels when no one else could. “It looks like he could be in jail for quite awhile.” And he wonders if Snake would find that a relief. “Are you ever gonna write him?”

“Maybe,” says Snake. That at least isn’t a no.

Then he spots Caitlin, his friends’ romantic tragedy fading to the background compared to his own. He and Snake agree to go play pool later before he walks over to her. They talk, and she asks him to dance.

As he and Caitlin dance on the floor, as Snake has his arms wrapped around Pam, as he sees Simon and Alexa, how happy they look together, he can’t shake the feeling there must have been something else he could have done.

Pool with Snake is a little awkward; how could it not be now? It makes Joey think of the last time they all played pool together, at the graduation party, with Wheels drinking and planning to move to Calgary, Joey planning to marry Caitlin, Snake planning to get laid. The things that change in five months. Still, it feels like there’s something missing, like it did in grade eleven when they were both fighting with Wheels, just the two of them without him. Maybe it felt like that in grade eight too, when it was just him and Wheels without Snake. Maybe that’s why they asked Snake to join the band in the first place.

“My mom’s so glad I’m back home,” Snake says as he shoots. That doesn’t surprise Joey; she seems the type to want to keep him tied to her apron strings forever. “And she and dad are so excited to meet Pam.”

“Well of course they are man,” Joey tells him. “They gotta know what they’re working with for the future grandchildren.”

And Snake pauses, something clearly weighing on his mind. “While I’m in town, Mom wants us all to have a big family dinner.” He turns and gives Joey a look. “All of us. They’ve invited Glen.”

Joey frowns, a little confused. “Glen?”

“My brother.” Oh, right, Snake always mentioned having a brother, though Joey never met him, never learned the name. It must never have come up, he supposes. “I’m sort of nervous about it, to tell you the truth. Mom and Dad haven’t spoken to Glen since…”

“...Since?”

“Since he told us he was gay.”

And Joey stares, a horrible realization sinking in. “Snake–”

Snake hurriedly looks away. “I mean, it’s good right? That they're at least willing to talk to him again?”

Joey doesn’t know what to say. Yeah, that is good. But it’s too little too late.

Senior year was always going to be a bit of a lonely experience. Now it really is. Joey spends a lot of time wondering who to hang out with; he keeps finding himself looking for Snake and Wheels in the halls, before remembering they’re not here.

He spends a surprising amount of time with his poker buddies from that night at Luke’s house, actually, even if it’s a bit weird given that, including Alex, three out of the five of them have been involved with Tessa Campanelli in some capacity. Still, he gets along with them, and he’s glad Yick and Arthur don’t hold a grudge over that whole ‘locking them in the broom closet’ thing back in grade – 8, part one or two.

Speaking of Yick and Arthur. One day he finds Yick in the resource centre, looking miserable about something. “Hey man,” he says as he takes the seat opposite. “Something up?”

“No,” Yick mutters. Joey raises his eyebrows, not buying it for a second, and Yick sighs. “Me and Arthur are fighting.”

“Again?” For two people who used to be so close, Yick and Arthur fight a lot these days. They’ve been like that ever since his second grade 8. Something about Arthur having all that money, he guesses. “What happened?”

“I dunno,” Yick says. “I think he’s mad I’m not happier for him, getting into such a good university.”

“Didn’t he get into the Sorbonne?” And Yick nods. Right, the Sorbonne, in Paris, France. Arthur always has loved France.

“I know I should be happy for him,” Yick sighs. “It’s just–”

“You don’t like the thought of him being so far away?” And Yick nods again. Joey knows the feeling, although really, Yick’s problem makes his look a little silly. Would it have been that hard to drive up to Ottawa to visit Caitlin?

As Yick falls silent, brooding again, Joey frowns. “Yick, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, what?”

“Are you gay?”

Naturally, that freaks Yick out. “What?! No, of course not. What the hell man, why would you even ask me that–?!”

“Because I didn’t just ask someone that for a very long time,” he says. “And I think, maybe if I did, it could have helped him.”

Yick just stares at him for a very long moment, before he looks away. “It’s just, it’s scary to admit,” he says, his voice dropping to a whisper lest anyone else hear. “I don’t want to lose all my friends, you know?”

Right. He can just imagine Luke’s reaction if he knew; he remembers the jokes he, BLT and Shane all used to make while playing basketball. He wonders what it was like for Snake, listening to all that all the time. “Well, you won’t lose this friend,” Joey promises him. “How long have you known?”

Yick flinches. “Since grade 8.”

Right, grade 8. The same year he and Arthur started fighting all the time. Maybe it was never about the money. “I still feel bad about Tessa,” Yick says. Of course, Tessa. Joey still remembers being here in this same room with Snake a year ago, listening to Yick talk shit about his ex-girlfriend and how she was easy. Maybe, if Snake hadn’t felt the need to come to Tessa’s defense, if Luke and Yick didn’t make fun of him so much about Michelle, if Snake hadn’t snapped and told that stupid lie, everything would be different now. But there’s only so far up the chain of ‘what if’s you can go.

“I feel like I used her.” And Joey knows that feeling too. “I thought I really could make it work with her, I really must like her – I stole her away from Alex after all, why would I do that if I didn’t like her?” And right, that sounds like the sort of thing you could use to convince yourself you really are in love with a girl after all – it’s almost as dramatic as moving halfway across the country. “But then, I just… couldn’t find myself wanting to. And I knew she wanted to, so I acted like it was her fault, like she was the weird one for wanting it, and not me for not wanting it.”

Joey smiles sadly at him. “Well if it makes you feel better, a guy’s done a lot worse to her, for a lot less reason.” Yick actually returns his smile. “So what about Arthur?”

Yick frowns. “What about him?”

Joey shrugs. “People used to wonder about you two.” And say what you will about Snake, he might have been projecting his issues onto everyone else a lot of the time, but he was also, a lot of the time, right.

Yick just stares at him for a long moment, before he looks away. “He’s my best friend.”

“Yeah, so?” And really, why wouldn’t you fall in love with your best friend? That seems like a totally natural thing to do.

“It would never work,” Yick insists. “His mom’s – pretty conservative. There’s a reason Steph always used to get changed at school. If she knew…”

“But if he’s moving to Paris, how’s she gonna know?”

Yick glares at him. “Yeah, he’s moving to Paris,” he points out. “What exactly am I meant to do?”

“Go with him?”

Yick scoffs. “Right. Am I meant to fly there on my private jet?”

“Alright, you don’t have the money,” says Joey. “But he does. If he wanted you to come with him, he probably could afford it.”

And Yick stares, like he never would have thought of that. “...You really think he wants me to come with him?”

Joey shrugs. “You never know until you ask, man.”

“But…” Yick seems lost for words. “I know he likes girls. He’s not very good with them, but he likes them.” And really, Joey wonders what it is about tall, nerdy, virginal redheads. Even if he was into dudes, he doesn’t think he’d see the appeal, but gay guys seem to go crazy for ‘em. “Remember that massive crush he used to have on Caitlin?”

“Well, yeah, but it’s not always that simple. It’s not always either or.” Joey smiles a little. “Caitlin taught me that.”

Yick keeps staring at him for a long moment. “I need to go,” he suddenly blurts out, before he gets up. “I need to talk to him.”

Joey grins as Yick walks away. “Good luck man.”

And Yick pauses for a second before he leaves. “Joey?” he says. “Thanks.”

“Hey, what are friends for?”

Alright, it probably is cowardly of him to wait until graduation to talk to her. But if, as seems likely, he’s never gonna see her again after graduating, he needs to make his peace with her now, if he doesn’t want to go to his grave with her still on his conscience.

“Tessa?”

She looks up at him as she cleans out her locker for the last time. She doesn’t glare at him with the same burning hatred she used to after they first came back to school after the summer, but just gazes with a cool disdain he knows he has more than earned. “Joey,” she says. “What do you want?”

He bites his lip. “I was hoping we could talk,” he says. “About last summer?”

Tessa just stares at him for a second, then looks away. “What’s there to talk about?” she asks as she holds her textbooks tight against her chest, like they’re a shield.

Still, as she starts to walk down the corridor he follows, and she doesn’t rush off. “I just wanted to say, I am so sorry,” he says. “About what I did to you.”

She stops. “You have no idea what you did to me.”

“Well I know I lied to you, I used you, I strung you along–”

“You got me pregnant.”

And Joey stops dead as he processes the words. What? For the longest time he can only stare at her – at her stomach, hidden behind those textbooks and yet he knows, flat as a board. She’s always been so skinny. “Tessa, when were you–”

“I didn’t keep it.” And oh, that explains it. Joey swallows hard as Tessa stares at him. “Do you think I should have told you?”

Does he? It hurts to think that he could have been a father, and he never even knew. After what happened with Caitlin, he wonders if he’ll ever meet a woman who would want to marry him and have his children, on purpose. He’s not had a girlfriend, not been on a single date, not even had a crush on a chick all year. It’s been hard for him, moving on.

Still, he finds he can’t blame Tessa. “I think, after the way I treated you, I sacrificed my right to have much of an opinion on the matter.”

Tessa nods, and goes to sit down on one of the windowsills in the hall. Joey follows her, and finally she places her textbooks aside. “You know I had a crush on you since the tenth grade?”

Joey is taken aback. “Did you?” He can’t remember noticing Tessa in tenth grade, still smarting over his first break up with Caitlin. To be fair to him, there was a lot going on that year.

“Yeah. Ever since I saw you walk naked through the cafeteria that time.”

Despite everything, Joey has to chuckle. “Really, the naked caf walk did it for you?”

“What can I say,” Tessa manages a smile, “you might be a two-timing, cheating, lying scumbag, but you’ve got a great ass.”

Joey laughs at that. She always made him laugh. He does remember Tessa before last summer, now he thinks of it – he remembers her at the end of junior high, still barely more than a kid, playing tag with Scooter in the corridors and inadvertently saving all their lives in the process.

She’s not that girl anymore, and he’s a big part of the reason why. Still, everyone has to grow up sometime, right?

“Tessa, I am really sorry,” he says. “I was – I was dealing with a lot that summer. But it’s still no excuse for using you like that.” Tessa nods, but doesn’t say anything, so Joey continues. “But for the record: I did like you. I really liked spending time with you. And in another universe, I wish… I wish we could have been friends.”

“Friends.” She echoes him, still smiling sadly. “That would have been nice.”

With nothing more to say, he gets up and walks away. Then, as he’s leaving school for the last time, he sees the most beautiful woman walk past, holding hands with a little boy.

“I think I’m in love with her man.”

And it is absurd, to have finally moved on from the whole mess with Caitlin and Tessa and be ready to love again, only for this to happen. Karma’s a bitch, huh?

Wheels seems to find it absurd too. “You’re in love with a married woman with a kid?” And it’s funny to be filling each other in on the details of their lives like this, to not be so joined at the hip they don’t already know what’s going on with each other (you know, apart from all the times he had no idea what was going with Wheels). It’s funny that Wheels has anything to fill him in on. It’s been a rough three years for him, Joey knows, but he’s made it through the pit of despair and is starting to think about the future again. His sentence is long, but it isn’t forever. He’s even taking advantage of the prison’s academic program, studying psychology – figuring out what’s wrong with my goddamn brain, he put it. Joey’s proud of him.

Joey nods as they stare at each other on other sides of the glass. “Well shit man. What are you going to do?”

“What can I do?” Joey shrugs. “He’s a surgeon, he’s like super rich. She’s not going to just up and leave him for me, his lawyers would make her life hell.” And he thinks, yet again, of Michelle; how she was willing to move hell and high water for BLT, and how he wanted Caitlin to love him that much. “I guess I have to just… be in love with her.”

Wheels grimaces, and Joey sighs. “I mean you get it, don’t you man? Not being able to have who you really want?” he says, before he can stop himself. As Wheels recoils, Joey starts to backtrack. “I mean, just, being in prison and all.” And you thought Snake was a bad liar.

Wheels looks away. “I suppose there is Aaron,” he mutters.

Now Joey is confused. “Who’s Aaron?”

“My cellmate.”

Wheels stares at him, and Joey blinks a few times as he realises what that means. Oh. It’s funny, despite everything, that he is still so surprised by the idea of Wheels actually doing anything with another guy. “Oh. Oh, well, that’s cool man. I mean you’re in prison, what do I expect?”

He throws that out there as a lifeline, in case Wheels still needs the excuse, but after a moment he admits: “It’s not just because I’m in prison.”

Joey tilts his head to the side, thinking he sees where this is going. Wheels takes a deep breath. “It’s just… with Karen.” Karen? Wheels hasn’t mentioned Karen in years, ever since he got sent here. Sometimes Joey wonders what happened to her, if she knows what happened to him, why her boyfriend never moved to Alberta for her after all. “I don’t think I really wanted to do it.”

He frowns. “What, you feel like she forced you?”

“No, not exactly,” which is not as much of a no as he would have liked to hear. “More like… more like I forced myself.” Another deep breath. “I didn’t want to be doing it, but I wanted to want to. So I just… got myself drunk enough it wouldn’t feel like it felt with Heather, I wouldn’t feel that it felt wrong, I could just be numb to it.”

Wheels pauses for a second, but Joey doesn’t interrupt. “And then I didn’t stop drinking,” he admits. “I couldn’t. If I stopped drinking, I would have started thinking straight again.” Or the opposite of that, really. “That summer… I just thought, if I left it all behind, for the one woman I’d ever been able to bring myself to do sex at, it’d all be fixed. I’d be fixed.”

Joey stares at him. “Wheels man, what are you telling me?” And it’s not like he doesn’t know, but he needs to know if Wheels is ready to say the word.

“Joey.” Wheels returns his stare. “I’m gay.”

Silence. For a long moment, Joey just keeps staring at him.

Then he starts to laugh.

“Joey!” Wheels protests, understandably offended. “You’re laughing at me? I just came out to my best friend since I was ten years old, and you’re laughing?!”

“Sorry, sorry man, I know it’s not funny, it’s just–” Valiantly, he tries to get his laughter under control, before giving Wheels a look. “Really. You don’t say?”

Wheels’ jaw drops open in shock. “You knew?!”

“Yeah! I’d kind of figured it out by the end of grade 11.” He pauses for a second. Okay, maybe that’s not entirely fair. “Well I mean, I hadn’t really consciously acknowledged it. But on some level, yeah, I knew.”

Wheels glares at him. “You never told me you knew.”

That makes Joey roll his eyes. “Oh please, you would have completely freaked out on me. The one time you even suspected I knew, you spent the whole year acting like a total douchebag about it.”

And Wheels can’t deny that. “You’re right,” he sighs. “I would have.”

An awkward silence falls between them, and Joey isn’t entirely sure what to say. “So. Guess you’re out now.”

“Guess I’m out,” Wheels concurs. “To you anyway.” Joey is a little puzzled by that, and Wheels explains. “I don’t think I’m gonna make a big announcement about it while I’m in here. Hooking up with your cellmate is one thing, but it pays not to draw too much attention to yourself.”

Ah, right. Wheels does still have to be careful. As far as Joey knows, he hasn’t been raped or murdered while in prison – well okay, he’d probably notice if Wheels was murdered – but this does put him at greater risk than he was already. “But um, once you’re out – of here, I mean,” and Joey hesitates, not sure how to say this. “You reckon it’s time to start picking up some dudes?”

“Joey!”

“What?” And okay, Joey isn’t entirely sure how this ‘being a friend to the gays’ thing is meant to work, but for Wheels’ sake he’s willing to try. “All this time man. Don’t you wanna see what you’ve been missing out on? You know, sex is pretty great when you’re having it with people you really want to.”

Wheels just stares at him. It’s like he can’t comprehend, after everything he’s been through and everything he’s done, that his sexuality is supposed to be something he can enjoy.

Abruptly, he looks away. “So how’s Snake?” he mutters, and Joey sighs. “What?”

“Wheels man,” and it feels funny to be the one giving this advice, but, “you have got to get over him.”

“Congratulations Joey.”

Joey grins up at one of his oldest friends on the happiest day of his life. “Thanks man,” he says, giving him a quick hug.

Snake takes a deep breath. “So, Joey Jeremiah, a married man,” he says. “Didn’t think I’d ever see the day.”

“Trust me, after what happened with Caitlin, neither did I.” They both laugh. He forgave Snake for what happened with Caitlin long ago – Snake did the right thing after all, even if he didn’t quite do it for the right reasons. He could never have married Caitlin on the grounds of a lie. Besides, if he had married Caitlin, he would never have met Julia, and so it all worked out in the end. He did invite Caitlin to the wedding, but she was gonna be out of the country on some expedition. Still, she sent a very nice gift, an antique tea set she got in Japan. More Julia’s sort of thing than his, but it was a lovely gesture.

His eyes drift over to where Craig is busting a move on the dancefloor, and a gaggle of equally elementary school aged girls struggle to be the one dancing with him. God, he’s a future heartbreaker, that one, but given what a miracle it was that Albert even allowed him to come to the wedding, Joey's glad he’s having a good time. 

“So what about you?” asks Joey. “You got a girl or anything?”

Snake shakes his head. “Uh, no,” he says. “Single,” he briefly returns a wave to Spike when she grins and waves at him, “and ready to mingle.”

Joey nods. Snake has had girlfriends since university, ever since Pam, but none of them have lasted very long. Six months tops.

“Well, good luck man,” he says, but then Snake’s attention drifts off, unfocused. He frowns. “Something the matter?”

“It’s just…” Snake sighs again. “Wheels would have wanted to be here.”

Right. Wheels said as much, when Joey visited him to share the news. Sorry man, I’d offer to send a gift, but I’m not sure what Julia would make of you keeping a shiv under your pillow. He tries not to mention Wheels to Snake often, not to scratch that wound, but sometimes Snake goes and brings it up. He and Snake are still buds, but it’s never been quite the same without Wheels. They can’t be the Zit Remedy if they’re missing a Zit. If it wasn’t for Wheels, Snake might never have even joined the band.

“You know he’s coming up for parole soon?” he says, to Snake’s surprise. “He could be out before you know.”

Snake looks away. “Great.”

Joey frowns. “Hey, he’s really turned his life around in there, you know? Got a degree and everything.” And finally came out of the damn closet, but he thinks he might not want to mention that to Snake for a while.

Snake raises an eyebrow. “What, Wheels, voluntarily studying?”

“I know right!”

They both laugh, but then Snake averts his eyes again. Joey frowns, trying to read him. “You’re still not ready to forgive him, huh?”

“What’s to forgive?” Snake murmurs, his eyes drifting over to where Lucy is sat while her friends are up and dancing, crutches resting by her side. “He didn’t do anything to me.”

“Except break your heart?”

Snake stares at him, and Joey smiles. “Listen, I gotta get back to Julia,” he says, “but it was good to see you.”

Chapter Text

“So are you sure you don’t want to go to the reunion?”

Joey shakes his head as Snake sits in his living room, catching up with him over a beer after Angie has gone to bed. “I don’t think I can, man,” he says. He can’t bring himself to have to explain to all the people he hasn’t seen since his wedding why his wife isn’t there with him. It feels so bitterly ironic – to have spent so long learning to love again, to get over his guilt about being a homewrecker after what happened with Caitlin and Tessa, and then to only have four short years with her, the same amount of time he spent in love with Caitlin. Karma really is a bitch sometimes.

Snake nods, he doesn’t push. “It’s a shame though,” he comments. “I would never have expected to be the only Zit there.”

And Joey stops for a second, giving him a curious look. “Snake?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re head of the alumni association, right?”

Snake can’t quite meet his eye. “Yeah, so?”

Right, that would explain why this reunion is for the class of his graduating year, and Snake’s, but nobody else’s. “So you would have had a pretty firm hand in shaping the guest list?”

“What’s your point?”

“Are you the reason Wheels didn’t get an invite?”

“Joey…”

Joey sighs at him. “Come on man, it’s been ten years.”

“Well do you think Lucy would want him there?!” Snake snaps at him, and Joey shrugs.

“I don’t know, maybe the closure would be good for her.” Snake looks away, and Joey sighs. “Anyway, we both know this isn’t about Lucy.”

It takes Snake a long moment to respond to that. “It’s just…” he swallows hard. “This is my school, Joey. I work there. I walk those halls every day. I can’t have him there. I can’t have him anywhere near. I’ve got a whole new life now, and he has nothing to do with it.”

Joey smiles sadly at him. “Snake man,” he says, “anyone ever tell you you’re a terrible liar?”

While he’s not going to the reunion, it is good to see everyone doing so well. Especially Lucy. It appeases the part of his conscience that has always felt responsible for what happened to her – for being so jealous of her that summer, for cheating on Caitlin, for not trying to stop Wheels getting into the car that day, for never knowing when to leave Snake alone about the virgin thing.

Lucy, unfortunately, is not going to leave him alone about the reunion thing. “Joey, we’re all sorry your wife died,” she says. “But, it’s been a year. I think Julia would be upset if she saw you cutting yourself off like this.”

And really, what does Lucy know about Julia? Did she ever even talk to Julia?

He manages to get himself out of the conversation by offering to drive Lucy up to the school. When they arrive, they see a limousine parked out front. “Why don’t you sell me a car like that Jeremiah?”

Then, through the window, he sees Caitlin. For a second, it’s like he’s fifteen again.

Really, Caitlin, this guy? thinks Joey as Keith is talking a too-polite-to-say-anything Snake’s ears off with some patronizing nonsense about what a noble profession teaching is, before making it all about himself and some script he’s written. And I thought Claude was bad.

As Lucy and Caitlin gush over each other, it’s easy to remember his old jealousy of them, though it’s a stupid thing to worry about now Caitlin is marrying someone else, another guy. He’d probably be happier if Caitlin was marrying Lucy, really.

“I survived the accident, I got off easy,” says Lucy, brushing her hair behind her ear uncomfortably, and Snake can’t seem to help himself.

“Sort of like Wheels,” he mutters. “Kills a kid, ten years later, scot free.”

For a second this noisy bar is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Joey casts Snake a look. Still not over him, huh?

He’s never been more relieved to hear the sound of his own voice as his commercial comes on the television, everyone laughing to break the tension. “I think it’s great,” says Caitlin. “Despite everything you’ve been through, you’re still the same old Joey.”

And somehow that comment stings. Am I, Caitlin? Am I still the same guy who broke your heart all those years ago?

“Actually, I have changed,” he says. “And so have you. Excuse me."

As he gets up and walks over to the bar, Snake follows him, of course. “Joey, we’re over there right now,” he tells him.

“I know, I’m just waiting for my cab,” says Joey, not looking at him.

“What’s going on here?”

“Nothing’s going on,” and really, if this is what it felt like every time he was trying to figure out what was going on with his best friends, no wonder they spent so much time yelling at him. “Just, I knew this was a bad idea, so I’m going home.”

“Joey, come on–”

“Snake, will you get off my back, please?” And really, if anyone should have learned when to back off and leave well enough alone…

“You know cutting out the rest of the world is not gonna bring her back, right?”

And cutting him out didn’t bring that kid back, but that didn’t stop you, did it? Joey manages to make himself not be that cruel though. “Would you save the Psych 101 crap for your students? I’m not a child, I don’t need you, or anyone else telling me how to live my life.”

“Joey, we’re you’re friends,” Right, and friends always tell each other when something’s wrong? “We’re worried about you.”

And really, after all this time, Snake is worried about him? “All I get are people feeling sorry for me,” he tells him. “Why do you think I don’t want to go tomorrow, it just makes me feel worse.”

Snake appears unconvinced. “So this has nothing to do with Caitlin?”

And who is he to judge. “No, no it doesn’t, alright.” He lies badly, and Snake clearly doesn’t believe it for a second. “I don’t like her boyfriend–”

“Fiancé.”

“Whatever.” But the thought still stings. “And I don’t like the fact that she feels sorry for me.” Snake sighs. “But I’m fine, and frankly I’m sick and tired of everyone trying to fucking save me.”

And Snake, seemingly, gives up on him. “You know what? I’d look and see who’s feeling sorry for who here.”

Joey glares after him as he goes. Well, at least one thing hasn’t changed: Snake’s still a fucking hypocrite.

“Bring back any memories?”

And of course it does. How could it not?

“You know what, I’m relieved,” says Caitlin, which only alleviates his guilt so much. She shouldn’t have married that guy, but he can’t help but regret he was the one to have to let her know. He wonders if this is how Snake felt, all those years ago. “As bizarre as that may sound.”

“It doesn’t sound that strange,” he tries to reassure her.

He can see Caitlin starting to get upset, and finds he hates it just as much as he did when he was nineteen. “I mean, here I am – practically turning thirty and, never had a relationship last longer than a few months.” What about you and me? But it was always a bit of a question mark what parts of their relationship ought to count; he spent a lot longer in love with her than he ever spent with her. “Because I’m always working! I meet Keith, and – he’s not always such an ass.”

“Could have fooled me,” he says, but to be fair, he does know something about caring for people even when they’re being an asshole to you.

“And when it does last longer than a few months, I think, well…”

“You ask him to marry you?” And it hurts to think that Caitlin ever thought she ought to settle for that guy, that he was the best she could do. He wishes she went to Carlton with Lucy. Lucy, if something did happen, would always have treated her well.

“I thought it could work!” and he just shakes his head. “He’s so not the one. I mean it’s so obvious.” He opts to be tactful and not say anything like well, duh.

“I gave Emma relationship advice last night,” she tells him, which he doesn’t make much of. “I am such a fraud.”

“No, no Caitlin, you’re not a fraud,” he calls after her as she gets up and leans against the sinks. “You’re one of the most trusting, caring people I know. You could never be a fraud.” And he can’t remember the Caitlin he knew ever feeling so low about herself. It hurts to wonder if maybe he’s the reason; that what he did to her made her feel, on some level, like she wasn’t worthy of love or commitment, if he’s the reason she thought she ought to settle for an asshole like Keith.

“Joey? With Julia?” And it’s strange to hear Caitlin say Julia’s name. In his head they belong to such separate parts of his life. “How did you know? That it was right?”

And really, it’s also strange to think of what happened with Julia as being ‘right’, given how guilty he felt for stealing her away from her husband and son, but…

He gets up and joins Caitlin by the sink. “I loved that she called me Joe,” he says. “Her hair smelled like rain. And she always, always made me laugh.” He was in love with Julia. As he was in love with Caitlin. Maybe he was even a little in love with Tessa. If there’s one thing Joey’s learned in his life, it’s that love can be a lot of things. It can be fun, playful, teasing. It can be screaming, fighting, telling yourself you hate each other. It can be stolen, forbidden, yearning. It can be all of those things at once.

Caitlin gives him a sad smile. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be! I’m not!” he tells her. “I was lucky.” And really, compared to some people, he was very lucky.

Then Caitlin asks him something else. “Joey, that summer – with Tessa.” And oh, Tessa. They’ve managed to go the whole reunion without saying her name. She didn’t come, and while Joey is relieved about that, he also feels guilty. It was her high school too. “Why did you do it? Was it really just that I was always busy, and she was there?”

And after all these years, he can’t bring himself to lie to her. “No,” he admits. “No, I was – I was scared. That I was losing you. That maybe I’d never really had you. And Tessa, she made me feel wanted, when I was so afraid that maybe I wasn’t the one you wanted.” Caitlin stares at him, confused, and Joey swallows hard. “I was jealous of someone. Someone you seemed so close to, someone who seemed to get you like I never could, and I thought maybe you were using me to tell yourself you didn’t really want them. I thought, maybe if you girls went away to university together–”

Caitlin double takes. “Wait, Lucy?!”

He shrugs. “Can you blame me? She’s a beautiful woman.”

For a second Caitlin is lost for words. “Well, yeah, and – if I was single, I’m not saying I wouldn’t have considered it, but – Joey, I loved you.” And yeah, he knows that. Now, he knows that. “Me and Lucy, we were just friends.”

“I know, just…” he sighs deeply. “Sometimes people say that, even when it’s not really true.”

When he emerges from the bathroom, he sees Lucy sitting there, looking absolutely stunned. If it wasn’t so tasteless, he’d say she looks like she’s been hit by a truck. “Lucy?” he asks. “You okay?”

“I just talked to Wheels.”

Joey’s eyebrows shoot up in alarm. “Wheels is here?!” Instinctively he starts looking around for Snake, wondering if he knows, but Snake seems to have disappeared. He really hopes that’s a coincidence.

“He said he wasn’t going to come in,” she says. Right, of course. “He just… wanted to apologise. To take responsibility for what he did. He seemed so lonely,” Lucy gives him a look. “I felt sorry for him.”

Joey grimaces. He understands. He’s always felt sorry for Wheels.

After a second, a thought occurs to him. “I think I owe you an apology too Luce,” he says. “About that day. It never would have happened if I could have shut up and left Snake alone about the virgin thing.”

Slowly, Lucy nods. “That really did bother him, didn’t it?” Joey nods. These days, at least, he understands why Snake couldn’t just take it as a joke. “That fight they had – I never understood it,” and really, why would she? “They were so angry at each other. Wheels – telling Snake off for feeling so sorry for himself, when he had so much going for him, university, his parents, and Snake – I’d never seen Snake act like that before.”

Joey swallows hard. He couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other that day, but now, it makes sense why they fought. Still, he can’t tell Lucy what it must have been like for Wheels to have to listen to Snake whine about how hard it was not to be with a woman all summer, for Snake to have to listen to Wheels tell him how lucky he was to still have his parents. “I dunno. Those two could be weird sometimes.”

Lucy says nothing, and a thought occurs to Joey. He probably shouldn’t bring this up, but… “I seem to remember you acting kinda weird that day too.” She gives him a look, and he shrugs. “When I told you all me and Caitlin were engaged. You were so angry.”

She stares at him for a second, then looks away with a bitter, cynical chuckle. “You know Bronco broke up with me two months later?” And for a second Joey is thrown, wondering what that has to do with anything. “I told myself it was because he wasn’t ready to deal with all the consequences of the accident, but really, I knew. He’d figured out. That I wasn’t really in love with him, I just wasn’t ready to face who I really was.”

He double takes. “So wait, I was right?” he asks. “About you and Caitlin?”

Lucy gives him a look, seemingly surprised he knows who she’s talking about. “About me,” she clarifies. “I didn’t… I didn’t realise it until that morning, when she told me she was going to stay with you. She was crazy about you Joey.” He flinches, and Lucy pauses. “Maybe that’s why I could never acknowledge it – it wasn’t like I thought my parents would care, or for that matter, notice.” Well it could be worse, but maybe he shouldn’t mention that. “But there never seemed to be a point. Not with you around.” She turns and gives him a small smile. “I’m really sorry about trying to steal your girl Joey. I didn’t even realise I was doing it. Guess karma got me for it in the end, huh?”

"Hey, if that's what karma does to you for stealing some guy's girl, I better be on the lookout." Lucy chuckles, while Joey thinks. "All things considered, she probably would have been better off with you.” He pauses for a second. “And she’s on the rebound now, maybe it’s time you finally shoot your shot. God knows, you’re an improvement over Keith.”

Lucy laughs at that. “No, no I’ve moved on, I’ve moved past that. I’ve figured myself out. I’ve been with girls, guys, both at the same time, I’ve had some wild times.” That sounds like Lucy, always the overachiever. “But I don’t like to dwell on the past.”

And really, that’s a good attitude to have. Joey could use a bit more of it.

“It’s a pity though,” he muses. “You and Caitlin, together? Pretty hot.”

“Joey!”

“What?” he grins at her. “I said I’d changed, I never said I’d changed that much.”

She laughs and playfully slaps his shoulder. He chuckles with her, before getting distracted by seeing someone else across the dancefloor. Arthur and Yick, grabbing more food from the buffet table. He can’t quite tell at this distance, but you might think they were holding hands.

“Hey, excuse me for a second Luce,” he says. “I need to talk to someone.”

She nods and he gets up, making his way over to the buffet table. Arthur leaves pretty much the second he arrives, leaving him just with Yick to talk to. “Yick?”

“Oh, hey Joey,” Yick says as he turns around. “How’s the nose?"

He raises a hand to his face, to where there’s still some blood from Keith punching him. “Oh, nothing that won’t heal,” he says, and Yick nods, not prying into the whole incident any further. Joey hesitates, not sure how to ask this. “So uh, I see you and Arthur are still in touch.”

Yick nods. “Yeah, we’re – best friends and business partners.”

He raises an eyebrow. “‘Business’ partners?”

At that, Yick smirks. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

He laughs. “Hey, congratulations man. That’s amazing.”

Yick shrugs. “Never would have happened without you, Joey.” And he smiles. It’s good to know that, at least, it wasn’t all for nothing. Someone got their happy ending.

“So where did you and Spike disappear to anyway?” he asks as he and Snake are debriefing after the reunion at his place. “You finally decide to give her a chance?”

“Joey that’s not funny,” Snake mutters, and Joey frowns. You could think that’s just Snake’s old inability to take a joke surfacing once more, but somehow he knows it’s more serious than that.

“What’s wrong?”

Snake sighs deeply. “It was Emma,” he explains. “She met some guy online. Snuck out to go meet him. She… she almost got seriously hurt. We got there in the nick of time.”

“Oh my god,” says Joey, feeling sick. He can only imagine how he would feel if the same thing had happened to Angie. “Is she okay?”

“I have no idea,” says Snake, staring up at his ceiling. He must feel protective of Emma – they all do, really. Having known her since she was a baby, she’s like their collective niece.

Joey is lost for words for a second, then Snake turns to him with another question. “So what about you?” he asks. “How are you feeling?”

And suddenly Joey feels rather self-conscious of his busted lip. “What, this? It’s nothing, it’ll heal. Chicks dig scars man.”

“That’s not quite what I meant,” says Snake. “Caitlin?”

Joey avoids his eye. “It’s fine,” he says. “Me and Caitlin, we’re just friends now.”

“Right, and do you get into dramatic fights with all your friends asshole new boyfriends?” Joey doesn’t answer that, and Snake sighs. “Joey, you’re not over her.”

And really, Snake might be right, but he’s still a hypocrite. “Oh yeah, and what would you know about coming face to face with the person you were in love with at high school, who you never really got over?” he asks him. “Oh right – he wasn’t there.”

Chapter Text

“I told you you should ask her out man.”

Snake laughs as he relaxes on Joey’s couch, filling him in on the details of his latest date with Spike (and from his easy, lethargic manner, it’s pretty easy to tell that he got laid, but you know, they’re not nineteen anymore, there’s no need to gloat about that). “I don’t think I was ready to date Spike back then.”

Right, of course. Snake wasn’t ready to date Spike then, no more than he was ready to date Melanie, or Michelle, not if there was always going to be someone else in the picture. Still, everything is different now. “But she makes you happy, right?”

“Yeah. She makes me really happy.” Snake pauses for a second, something clearly weighing on his mind. “I’m thinking of asking her to marry me.”

“Wow.” Joey blinks, a little bit taken aback. It feels a bit soon; they’ve only been dating for around six months. Then again, they’ve known each other almost fifteen years. What’s Snake gonna find out about Spike now that he doesn’t already know?

(Or rather, what’s she going to find out about him?)

He wants to be happy for Snake, really, but still questions linger at the back of his mind. “You sure you’re ready for that man?”

And after a second, Snake nods. “I’m ready,” he says. “I’m ready to move on.”

Joey smiles. It’s good to hear him say that. It’s good to hear him acknowledge there’s something he needs to move on from.

“Joey.”

“Albert.”

It’s awkward, to say the least, as they stand either side of Joey’s front door. They’ve never had a conversation that wasn’t awkward. “Is uh, is Craig home?”

Joey stiffens up, like he’s defending Craig even when he’s not there. “No, he’s out taking photographs. He said he wouldn’t be back ‘til seven.”

He can see the way Albert swallows at that. “You’re not worried about him being out so late?”

“Craig’s fourteen, he can take care of himself.” That’s maybe a slight exaggeration, if Craig isn’t home soon he will have words with him, but he will not indulge this guy’s belief that he’s doing all this for Craig’s own good, that Craig needs him to to control him.

It’s funny – he always felt so guilty about stealing the guy’s wife. He can’t say he feels guilty about it now. Maybe, if he hadn’t been so guilt-ridden, he might have noticed something sooner – how afraid Julia always seemed that Albert would find out about him, even back when they were just friends, how she always seemed to have a million things to do that he had organised for her, how she wouldn’t push for shared custody in the divorce case, as she knew his lawyers would tear her shreds.

If he’d realised, he could have helped Craig earlier. Like Rick. But all he can do is try and make up for it now.

Albert nods. “So, how is he doing?”

“Good. Really good.” Better than he ever did with you. “He’s got new friends, new hobbies – he’s taken up guitar, he’s got real talent. I think he’s a future rock star. Takes after his stepdad, you know?”

Okay that was a cheap shot, but Albert smiles, even if it doesn’t reach his eyes. “That’s great,” he says. “I want you to know, I’m doing better too. I’ve been in anger management, I’ve cut back my hours at work. I was thinking, by the end of the year–”

Joey feels sick. “Good for you,” he says, and starts to close the door.

“Joey.” Albert stops him. “I just want my son back.”

And he finds himself thinking about someone else, someone else whose parents were hurting him, and he never realised. Someone he should have helped.

“Tough.” He slams the door in Albert’s face.

“How could she not tell me?”

Joey finds himself not knowing what to say as Snake sits on his couch, staring at his hands, among the messy remains of his stag night. “Well, look on the bright side,” he says. “At least, once and for all, no one can ever doubt you’re into women again.”

Snake glares at him. “Joey, that's not funny.”

He sighs as he sits down next to Snake. “Sorry man, you’re right, it’s not,” he says. He’s starting to feel like another beer, but he suspects they’re better off having this conversation with clear heads. “But maybe it’ll all work out. Like Angie – you know, me and Julia really didn’t plan on her coming along when she did; I think she might have still technically been married to Albert when we conceived – but I wouldn’t trade her for the world man. Or what about Craig? I never pictured myself suddenly having a teenage son in my thirties, but I love that kid man.”

“If Spike even has this kid,” Snake points out. “An abortion, really? Could she really do that – and not tell me?”

Joey flinches, finding himself thinking of Tessa. He still wonders what he’d have done, if he’d known she was pregnant. Would he have wanted her to keep it? Would he have stepped up to the plate, married her, made an honest woman of her? What would it be like if Angie had another half-brother or sister out there? Or if Tessa had had her baby, would he never have had Angie at all?

“It’s her body man,” Joey says.

“I know, it’s just…” Snake sighs. “I’m meant to be marrying her tomorrow. I’m meant to become a husband, a father, we’re meant to be a family. How can we be a family if we’re all keeping secrets from each other?”

And a thought niggles at the back of Joey’s mind, his sense of do you know any other kind? “Snake,” he says as gently as he can, not wanting to kick him while he’s down, but: “If you really think Spike should have told you about this… don’t you think there’s something you ought to tell her?”

Snake stares at him. “What do you mean?”

He rolls his eyes. “Come on man, what do you think I mean?”

God, he has not felt this caught in the middle in years, he thinks as he watches Snake and Spike shout at each other in the Nelson family kitchen. “How does information travel in this family, every which way except from you to me!”

If you’d just talked. If you’d just talked, everything would have been different. Joey can’t shake the thought away in time, and Spike turns to her daughter. “Emma–”

“No, not Emma, this is about you and me!” Is it? “How could you not tell me you were pregnant?!”

And really, of all the people to judge so much about keeping secrets. He hasn’t seen Snake this angry in years – not since that party. “We need to talk, but we are not doing it here.”

“We are going to talk about this right now.”

“Not here!”

They storm out, leaving him standing in their kitchen, watching Emma at the table, blaming herself for everything.

Later on he and Manny are blowing up balloons, while Emma still thinks it’s all her fault. Manny doesn’t help, pointing out this wouldn’t be happening if Emma could have minded her own business. She’s got a point, but Joey knows, not intervening can have consequences too. Emma storms off, and Joey tries to calm them down. “Ladies, ladies, take it easy, everything’s gonna be fine. I know it.” He’s told himself that before.

Manny kicks his car. “Hey!” Why do they always take it out on his car?

“Where are they,” he mutters under his breath after Emma leaves the church, looking almost in tears. He really wants this to work. For Snake’s sake, he wants this to work.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” echoes a soft, gentle voice behind him. “They’re probably just caught in traffic or something.”

He double takes when he realises who that is. “Michelle?!” he turns around and sure enough, there is one Michelle Accette, smiling at him. “Oh my god,” he hugs her, “I haven’t seen you since you graduated.”

“I know, I really wanted to make it to the reunion, but I’m afraid I was just so busy with work.”

He pulls back. “Oh, what do you do for work?”

“I’m an attorney,” she explains. Okay, little bit more impressive than used car salesman. “I specialise in family law.”

“That’s great,” he tells her. “Though it’s hard for me to imagine it, Little Miss Shy as a Mouse, getting up there making speeches in court all day.”

Michelle laughs. “I’ve grown up and matured a lot since high school,” she says, and he nods. Of course she has. They all have. He remembers, he always used to admire her so much.

It’s nice talking and catching up, but the current problem dwells at the back of his mind. “Still, it must be weird for you,” he says, to her puzzled look. “Watching your ex-boyfriend marry the girl he once ditched for you. Guess she won in the end, huh?”

“Joey, it’s not a competition,” Michelle tells him. “I’m just glad he’s happy.” But then she fixes him with a serious look. “He is happy, right?”

And Joey nods. “Yeah, he’s really happy.” As happy as he’s ever been.

Michelle smiles at him once more, and then Snake and Spike coming running down the street, hand in hand.

He should have grown out of this little eavesdropping habit by now, but at the reception, he can’t help but overhear Snake talking to BLT. “So, you and Spike huh?”

“Me and Spike,” Snake smiles, “Emma… and baby makes four.”

BLT’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “She’s pregnant?”

“Yeah,” and from the look on his face, it’s clear, now he’s used to the idea, Snake is starting to get excited about it. “I’m going to be a dad.”

“Wow. That’s great man.” BLT takes another sip of his drink. “I would have lost money on this though.”

And Snake gives him a funny look. “Why, because me and her didn’t really talk at high school?”

“...Not exactly.” BLT sighs, and Joey worries where exactly this is going. “I’m sorry man. I always thought you were gay.”

And habitually Joey braces himself for the panic, the freak out, the risk of a fight, but after a second Snake just chuckles. “Well you were half-right.”

Joey blinks as he realises that, for the first time in his life, Snake just came out. BLT seems puzzled. “Now I’m confused.”

“Been there,” Snake laughs. “The word is bisexual.” And yeah, he’s doing it, he’s coming out. To his ex-girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend, of all people. BLT nods along like he’s heard of that, but isn’t entirely sure what it is. “Although frankly, if anyone had taught me that word back at high school, it might have made things easier.” He pauses for a second. “Not a lot easier. But easier.”

Right, Snake’s parents probably wouldn’t have cared about the difference, after all. BLT keeps nodding like he’s still not sure he understands this. “So uh, does Spike know?”

And to Joey’s surprise, Snake nods. “Yeah, I told her not long after we started dating. She said it didn’t bother her.”

Wait, you told her? You never told me you told her! Then again, it does explain why he was so angry about Spike hiding the pregnancy from him, when he shared with her something that had been such a painful secret for him for so long.

“Right,” says BLT. “Anyone else know?”

“Only Joey,” and hearing his own name reminds Joey he probably shouldn’t be listening to this. “And I never told him. I think he always kind of knew.” That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but not much of one. “I just don’t want word getting back to my students. I’m pretty sure Spinner Mason would make my life hell.”

“Fair enough man,” BLT chuckles, thinking for a second. “You know I’m surprised I was onto anything at all. When I got older, more mature, I thought – I thought I must have imagined the whole thing, because I was so jealous of you dating my ex.”

Snake gives him a skeptical look. “What, the ex you cheated on for four weeks, then dumped for another girl?”

“Didn’t mean I didn’t still have feelings for her,” BLT shrugs. “Love can be stupid like that.”

And yeah, love can be stupid like that. Then speak of the devil. “Bryant?”

“Michelle!” BLT seems as stunned to see her as Joey himself was. “Wow, I haven’t seen you in–”

“Twelve years, I know.”

He can only stare at her like he doesn’t believe she’s real. “You look incredible.”

She smiles. “So do you.”

And as they stare at each other you can see it, despite everything, that old spark, the flame of a first love rekindled. Maybe there’s a chance for those two, now they’re older, wiser, more mature, without the spectre of Michelle’s dad always breathing down their necks.

“Would you like to dance?” Michelle asks, and BLT grins.

“I’d like that.”

As they walk away that leaves a direct eyeline between him and Snake, and Joey freezes on the spot, realising he’s been caught out eavesdropping. But after a second, Snake just smiles, raising his glass to him.

Joey raises his in turn. Here’s to you man, he thinks. Happily married, and finally out. Here’s to having your cake and eating it too.

As the afternoon turns to evening and the sun sets behind him, as Caitlin has to leave early because she has a flight back to L.A, Joey finds himself drinking in the corner with Liz O’Rourke, of all people. “It’s been a great party,” she says, happier, more relaxed than he remembers her being at high school.

“Hey, the night is still young,” and he has had just enough drinks that he thinks: he’s single, as far as he knows she is too, why not right? “I mean, what sort of best man would I be if I didn’t even try to get anywhere with one of the bridesmaids?”

But Liz just laughs at him. “Hate to break it to you Joey, but you’re not exactly my type.”

Well it was worth a try. “Let me guess, it’s ‘cause I’m short, right?”

“No, I’ve dated people a lot shorter than you.”

Joey blinks. There aren’t really a lot of guys much shorter than him… And then he realises. “Oh, right. Gotcha Liz.” He pauses for a second. “Well now I feel better about how much you freaked out that one time I came onto you.”

She gives him a dubious look. “Just for the record, even if I was into guys, I still would have freaked out. You were completely out of line there Joey.”

“Yeah, no, I was, I really was, I’m sorry Liz, I was fourteen and stupid.” She chuckles, all seemingly forgiven. Really, it’s strange to think of the time he used to like Liz, back before he and Caitlin were Joey-and-Caitlin, back when she was just another cute girl in his class, and there was someone else he liked more than her. Love can be stupid like that.

“You know, back when I was at high school, I always thought this would be the worst day of my life,” Liz muses, catching him off guard. “But it isn’t. I’m happy for her. Snake’s a great guy, and I know he’s gonna treat her well.”

Joey’s a bit confused. “Wait, what was gonna be the worst day of your life?”

“Watching Spike marry some guy.”

Oh. “You and Spike?”

Liz shakes her head. “Not Spike. Just me.” Huh. He wonders if that makes it easier, it being completely unrequited like that. Doesn’t seem to have made it easier for Lucy. “I think that’s why I was so angry at high school all the time. It was torture, being so close to what I wanted and never being able to have it. It got easier, after we graduated, when I didn’t have to see her all the time. When I realised she’s not the only girl in the world, there are others, and some of them are even into other girls too.”

Joey nods along, that making a lot of sense to him. Maybe, if that awful summer day didn’t happen, things would have gotten easier for Wheels after graduation too. Okay, things were never gonna work out with him and Karen, but maybe he would have met some guy in Alberta instead. They have gays in Alberta, right?

Liz clearly notices the look on his face, dwelling on things long ago. “Something wrong?”

“It’s just…” he finds himself thinking of his own wedding, what Snake said then. “Wheels would have wanted to be here.”

He did tell Wheels about the wedding. He couldn’t not. Wheels didn’t say very much – good for them, he muttered, then quickly changed the subject.

After a second, Liz nods. “You know Spike wanted to invite him,” she says, to Joey’s surprise. “She always had a soft spot for him, after she asked him what to do about Emma. I think even Lucy was okay with it. Snake’s the one who said no.”

Right, of course. Joey wonders why. Is it just because he’s still so angry at him? Or was he afraid seeing Wheels again would make him get cold feet?

Then a third voice interrupts his thoughts. “Oh god, I am so late.”

He double takes when he realises who that is. God, if he thought Michelle was a blast from the past…

“Stephanie Kaye?!”

“Hi Joey.” She hugs him, and he is only slightly annoyed to realise she is, still, taller than him. God, now we just need Melanie to rock up, and that’s officially every girl any of us ever liked here.

“Steph, what are you doing here?” he asks in disbelief. “I haven’t seen you since we were fourteen.” Last time he got curious and looked her up online, she was doing a PhD in Women’s Studies up at some university in Montreal. Kind of a surprise from Miss ‘All the way with Stephanie Kaye’, but well, people do grow and change after high school.

“I know, but I wanted to wish the happy couple well,” she says. “Besides – you think Arthur would let me miss a party?”

Speaking of Arthur, a few drinks deep, he’s managed to talk Yick into dancing on the floor with him, earning them a round of chuckles and ‘I knew it’s. Good for them.

“I admit, it took me by surprise though,” says Steph. “Snake and Spike. I didn’t know they even knew each other.”

“Yeah, well, the things you miss when you leave for private school,” he tells her.

And Steph nods, smiling slightly. “It’s funny though,” she says. “You know, back when I was fourteen? I always thought – the first big Degrassi wedding, it’d probably be me and Wheels.”

Good luck with that one Steph, but to be fair how was she to know? Joey thinks for a second. “You weren’t at Simon and Alexa’s wedding, were you?”

She shakes her head. “No, I – talked to my therapist about that, and we agreed that held too much of a risk of triggering another depressive episode.”

“...Fair enough.” Simon must have really broken her heart. Maybe I did too. Maybe it’s for the best Wheels wasn’t invited, really.

Liz appears to have disappeared behind him, leaving him and Steph to catch up. “So where is Wheels anyway?” she asks, and Joey doesn’t know what to say.

Really, when he looks around this whole reception, he gets hit with this overwhelming wave of nostalgia. So many people came. So many people remember Spike and Snake fondly, and want to wish them all the best.

There’s only one person missing.

Chapter Text

“So how is he?”

Joey sighs deeply once Craig and Angie have gone to bed, leaving him and Snake to talk in peace. “His dad died, man. How would you expect him to be?”

Snake nods, even though it’s clear he doesn’t know how he expects Craig to be either. “At the dance, he was behaving pretty erratically,” he says, and Joey nods. “Almost reminded me of–”

He can’t quite bring himself to say the name, but it’s impossible not to be thinking about him, the first person they ever knew to lose a parent in a car crash like this. Of course, Wheels wasn’t manic like Craig after losing his parents, more… depressed, but even so.

If Wheels’ parents hadn’t died, everything could have been different. Maybe he could have talked to them when he could talk to no one else.

“Craig can be erratic a lot of the time, really.” Snake gives him a look. “You must worry about him.”

Joey swallows hard. Yeah, he’s noticed that. And he does worry about Craig, but what else is new? “I do,” he says. “But I love that kid. I don’t give up on the people I love.” He learned his lesson about that, after all.

Snake nods. “I feel terrible for him,” he says. “Losing a parent, it’s hard enough for anyone.” Joey stares at him. Snake’s dad passed away in 1999 (he remembers barely noticing, because it was around the same time Julia got her diagnosis), and his mom… he calls her on her birthday and at Christmas, but that’s about it. “But to lose a parent who hurt you like that…”

“Snake,” Joey says softly, “is this really about Craig?”

Silence. Snake stares at him for a long moment, then looks away. “My parents never hit me, Joey,” he says. “I just–”

“–Had to live in a house for four years with people you knew would throw you out if they figured out the truth?” Joey asks him. “I’m sorry man. It must have been hell.”

And suddenly Snake starts blinking back tears. “Joey, can I ask you something?”

“Um, sure.”

“It’s just…” he takes a deep breath. “Something Caitlin said. Something she said you told her.” Joey feels a knot of dread tighten in his stomach. “About why you cheated on her with Tessa.”

Crap. Of course Caitlin told Snake. Why would she realise she shouldn’t tell Snake about that? “She said, you were jealous and paranoid, about her and Lucy. That you were afraid she was just using you to tell herself she hadn’t fallen for her. That you were afraid, if the two of them went away to university together–”

“Snake–”

“Did you cheat on Caitlin because of me?”

And Joey stares at him. How does he even answer that? “Not exactly,” he says, which he knows is not an outright no. “Look, it’s complicated, but like – I screwed up there, not you. I have to take responsibility–”

But Snake just shakes his head. “It was all my fault.”

“No, man, it wasn’t–”

“It was!” Snake shouts. “All of it, that whole summer, you, Caitlin, Tessa, the accident, Lucy, Wheels, none of it would have happened if I wasn’t such a fucking closet case!”

“Snake!” Joey grabs him by the shoulder as he can see him start to panic and freak out, the same way he did after finding Claude. “Snake, I never blamed you.” At least, not after the one moment it mattered the most. “You were going through hell, and none of us ever realised.” Snake lets out a shaky breath, and Joey squeezes his shoulder firmly. “You didn’t fail us. We failed you.”

And Snake turns and, slowly, smiles at him, like he’s giving himself permission to believe that. “Thanks Joey.”

Joey returns his smile before leaning over and kissing his balding temple. “I love you man,” he says, and Snake gives him a funny look. He rolls his eyes. “Not like that. But still. I love you.”

Snake nods. “I love you too.”

“Hey Jack, that’s your uncle Joey. I’ll have to tell you about some of the things we used to get up to. Actually, on second thought, I probably shouldn’t.”

Joey laughs, watching Snake hold his newborn son in his arms, looking as happy as Joey’s ever seen him. And he thought he wasn’t ready for kids. The guy’s been ready for kids since he was fourteen. Still, after all the drama with Shane and everything (god, Shane, what a strange thing to think about now, so many years after the fact), it’s good to hear mother and baby are both doing well, even if Spike’s exhausted and needed Snake to get Jack out of the house for a minute.

“Here, you wanna hold him?”

And Joey grins. “I’d love to.”

Snake passes Jack over and Joey just holds him, watches him sleep. It reminds him of holding Angie for the first time, seeing her so small, and knowing it was up to him to protect her. He grew up a lot that day.

Then he looks at Snake again, who’s still beaming at his son, every inch the doting father. “You know Snake, Wheels was right,” and he knows he ought to be careful saying that name, but now, it’s starting to feel like it might be okay again. “You’re really good with kids.”

And Snake actually smiles fondly at the memory.

Then out of nowhere, he gives a loud, dramatic sneeze. “Whoa!” says Joey, instinctively clutching baby Jack closer to his chest to shield him from the germs. “You alright man?”

“Sorry Joey, sorry,” says Snake, wiping his nose. “I think I’m coming down with something.”

It’s a little bit awkward, being left alone in the living room with one of Craig’s friends as he’s ditched them to go over to his girlfriend’s house. He loves that kid, but Craig can be a bit flighty sometimes. He thought Craig’s other friend, Spinner, was meant to be coming over too, but when he asked Craig just flinched and said Marco and Spinner aren’t really talking right now.

Still, he might barely know the kid, but when it starts bucketing outside well, he’s not heartless. “Hey, can I give you a ride home? It’s pouring out there.”

“Thanks Mr. Jeremiah, that’d be great,” says Marco, his voice oddly soft, pensive.

“Oh please, call me Joey,” he says. “Mr. Jeremiah is my father’s name.”

“Joey.” Marco pauses, making no move to get up off his couch. “Can I ask you something?”

Joey is puzzled. “Um, sure.”

“It’s just…” Marco takes a deep breath. “I’m gay.”

Huh. Okay, third coming out of his life – fourth if you count Caitlin. Well, sixth if you count Lucy and Liz. Whatever, he’s lost track, the point is – why is this kid telling him? “Alright. You know that’s not really a question,” he says. “I mean, if you’re hitting on me, I’m flattered, but – one, I’m straight, two, you’re underage, three, you look like you could be my son–”

“No, it’s not like that, it’s just–” Marco takes another deep breath. “My dad, he’s uh, kind of traditional. I could never talk to him about this. And Craig always says how cool and understanding you are. I was kind of hoping… maybe I could talk to you?”

Joey wonders if that’s what he is now, a roving father figure to anyone who needs one. Still, there are worse things to be. And if the kid needs to talk to someone… “Okay. Let’s talk.”

He sits down next to Marco on the couch, and waits for the kid to figure out what he wants to say. “You used to go to Degrassi, didn’t you? When you were a teenager?” And he nods. “Was there anyone… like me, when you went to school?”

Crap. How does he answer that? “Well, statistically, of course there was,” he says. “But no one was out, if that’s what you mean. It – it was the eighties. It was a hard time to be gay. Not that it’s easy now,” and sitting this close, he can spy the cut above Marco’s eye, wonders how he got that, “but it’s easier than it used to be.”

Marco slowly nods, but he doesn’t say anything. “But it might have been easier to stay in the closet back then,” Joey muses. “Not many people would be thinking about it as an actual option. You’d have to be pretty obvious before anyone would even start asking questions.” Marco still says nothing, and Joey sighs. “You know my best friend, since I was ten years old? He was gay. And I didn’t realise until we were seventeen. He didn’t tell me until we were twenty two.”

“Really?” Marco looks up at him. “Wow. That must have been awful for him.”

Joey nods. “It must have been, yeah.” If Wheels ever could have felt comfortable talking to anyone, like Marco is talking to him now, everything could have been different.

Marco swallows hard. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hiding in a closet,” he says, and Joey smiles. Good. No one should have to spend their life like that. “But I’m not sure if I’m ready to…”

He trails off, and Joey frowns. “What, what is it?”

Another deep breath. “There’s this guy at school,” he says. Ah . “Dylan. And I like him, I like him a lot.”

“Dylan Michalchuk, Paige’s brother?” Marco gives him a funny look, and he shrugs. “What, Craig fills me in on you kids and your drama, I keep up.” Marco chuckles. “Anyway, I’ve seen that kid play hockey, he’s pretty good. Still, be careful with those bad boys with blond curls, they’ll break your heart.”

That earns him another funny look. “What do you mean?”

He looks away. “Long story.” Snake doesn’t want word getting back to his students, so Joey isn’t going to let it.

Marco sighs. “I know I like him. And I think he likes me,” and Joey has to smile. Really, it’s not so unlike any other high school romance, is it? “But like, would I really be ready to date him? To go out in public with him? To – to hold hands in the halls, and kiss each other goodnight, after what happened with Spinner, and those guys in the park, and what if my parents found out, am I really that brave–?!”

“Marco!” Joey interrupts him. “My best friend, since I was ten years old, was gay. And he didn’t feel comfortable telling me for a decade,” he says, while Marco stares. “But you? You just told a virtual stranger. I think you’re brave enough for anything.” He smiles. “I’m proud of you kid.”

And Marco seems bashful. “You barely know me.”

“Does that mean I can’t be proud of you?” he asks, and Marco grins. “C’mon, let’s get you home.”

Once he’s finished dropping Marco off, Craig still isn’t back yet. But then he gets a phone call from Snake, telling him his test results.

I’m so worried about him Joey, Spike said on the phone. Joey feels awful for her — it’s hard enough having to raise a newborn, not to mention having to deal with your husband having leukemia, and whatever Emma is going through at any given moment — Craig says Emma has a tendency to attract drama, which like, neither he nor Craig can judge there, but still.

Joey sighs as he stares at the phone, wondering what he’s gonna do. He’s worried too. He knows it’s never a good sign when Snake shuts down like this. He’s considered sharing his own experiences with Snake, what it was like having to watch Julia waste away, having to explain to Angie why her mom wasn’t coming home, but Snake doesn’t want to talk to him about Julia. Snake doesn’t want to talk to anyone about anything.

Who could get Snake to talk?

Joey stares at the phone and, on impulse, rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Wheels man,” he says. “Can I ask you a favour?”

Wheels has gone to get them another round of pop, leaving him and Snake alone together, and Joey is starting to feel guilty. “Look, I know I shouldn’t have just sprung him on you like this,” he says before Snake can say anything. “I just thought–”

“And you were right,” Snake says, a small smile playing on his lips. “Despite everything. Despite all this time… He was the one person I really needed to see right now.” He casts Joey a look. “Thanks.”

Joey nods. It makes sense after all. Snake was always the one person who could get through to Wheels when nobody else could. Why wouldn’t the same be true in reverse?

Maybe, if Wheels hadn’t been MIA for most of grade 9, things could have been different then too. But there are only so many times you can ask yourself that question.

“Snake, can I ask you something?” And Snake nods. “Do you ever regret joining the band?”

And surely Snake must know what he’s really asking. Wheels. Does Snake regret Wheels?

“I have a lot of regrets in my life, Joey,” Snake smiles sadly at him. “But that isn’t one of them.”

He drives Wheels home after they’ve dropped Snake off at the Simpson-Nelson household. He still isn’t allowed to hold a license, after all. “You still can’t drive, you know,” Wheels comments idly.

“Hey, I can drive!” he insists. “I sell cars for a living man, I ought to know my way around them. Anyway, who are you to judge?”

Wheels actually laughs at that as they pull up outside his apartment complex. “So,” he says, hesitating to get out of the car. “You reckon he’s gonna be okay?”

Joey shrugs. “Doctors say he has a seventy per cent chance of recovery.”

“That isn’t quite what I meant.”

And Joey hesitates. “I don’t know man.” If there’s one thing he’s learned over all these years, it’s how hard it is to figure out what’s going on in Snake’s head. “But uh, I think it was good for him to see you again,” he says, to Wheels’ surprise. “I think he needed the closure.”

Wheels nods, but he says nothing, and Joey sighs. “Look, if you guys are cool with each other again, then maybe – next time we’re hanging out, I’ll call you, it’ll be like old times–”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Wheels mutters.

Joey frowns at him. “Why not?”

“Joey.” Wheels stares at him. “I know I have my faults, but… I’m not a homewrecker.”

Ah, right, of course. That makes sense. “Well that makes one of us,” he says, and Wheels laughs.

“But thanks for inviting me,” Wheels says as he unfastens his seatbelt and hops out of the car. “It was good to see him again. I guess – I guess I needed the closure too.”

Joey nods, watching Wheels as he disappears back into his crummy apartment complex. Joey Jeremiah: not the best driver, but a good friend.

Maybe he needed the closure too.

Chapter Text

“Gotta say, I am enjoying this a lot more than the last gay wedding I was at.”

Joey has to laugh. “Think you have only yourself to blame for that, Craig.”

“Hey, it’s not just me,” Craig insists. “It’s me and my screwed up brain chemistry. Which might be the same thing. But anyway.”

And really, it is a bit weird that Craig has come back all the way from Vancouver to attend the wedding of two guys he barely knows, but like Joey Jeremiah could resist showing off his up-and-coming rockstar son. Though he’s pretty sure if he says must take after his dad one more time, he’s gonna get punched.

But everyone’s having a good time, watching Yick and Arthur finally tie the knot. Make it official. It feels like it was meant to be.

At the reception, he finds himself gravitating toward Snake and Spike, naturally. “Man, Yick is so whipped,” he comments idly. “Can’t believe he let Arthur talk him into having a light saber duel as part of their first dance.”

“Aw, I thought it was fun,” says Snake, while Spike just grins, clinging to his arm. “Anything but boring traditionalism, right?”

Indeed, some traditions are best left behind. Even so: “Snake man, when did you become such a nerd?”

“Oh I was always a nerd Joey,” Snake grins, “I was just pretty in the closet about it back at high school.”

Joey raises his eyebrows. “And now, what, you’re a loud and proud nerd, marching in the nerd pride parade?”

“Something like that, yeah.” And Joey laughs. It’s good to see that Snake has come so far that he can laugh at having been such a closet case for so long, even with his wife right by his side.

Then a voice interrupts them: “Guys?”

Joey double takes when he realises who that is. “Wheels?” And Wheels shrugs apologetically as he approaches him, his best friend since he was ten years old. “What are you doing here?”

“Yick invited me,” he says, and oh. He wouldn’t have thought Wheels and Yick knew each other very well, but maybe on some level Yick knows that he has Wheels to thank for his current happiness, that it wouldn’t have happened without him.

“I uh, I saw you at the ceremony earlier,” says Snake, and of course he did, of course Snake would be alert to any hint of Wheels’ presence. “I saw you brought someone?”

Slowly, Wheels nods, and looks back over his shoulder to where a stranger, short stocky and balding, but handsome in an ‘unemployed bouncer’ sort of way, is lurking. “Yeah, Greg,” he says. “He’s great. He’s so understanding. I mean you’d have to be to live with me, wouldn’t you?”

And yeah, Joey remembers that. “I wasn’t going to say it,” says Snake, and he and Wheels both laugh.

“It’s good to see you happy Wheels,” Spike adds, and Wheels smiles at her.

“Thanks Spike.”

Joey finds himself slowly shrinking out of this conversation, like he doesn’t really need to be there. He doesn’t mind. “Greg,” says Snake, thinking over the name for a second. “You know, that was my brother’s first boyfriend’s name?”

Wheels blinks, a little bit surprised by that. Did he know Snake’s brother was gay? Joey can’t think of when any of them would ever have told him. “Huh. Well that’s a coincidence.” He pauses for a second. “I really hope it’s not the same guy though, that feels borderline incestuous.”

Snake laughs at that. “Oh, that sort of thing happens a lot at school. You get used to it.”

“If you say so,” says Wheels with raised eyebrows. “So uh, how about you? How have you been?”

“Oh, I’m good yeah,” says Snake, perhaps wisely opting not to bring up his and Spike’s little spate of marital issues last year. “I’m in remission, my hair’s grown back–”

“Some of it.”

“Hey!” Snake protests while Wheels gives him a cheeky grin. In some ways, it feels like old times again. “I think the pot is calling the kettle black there.”

Wheels shrugs. “Well yeah, but I did the smart thing and shaved it once I realised it was going. You’re just being stubborn for no reason.”

“...I repeat what I said about the pot calling the kettle black.”

Wheels grins, accepting that without comment, and then a slight awkward lull falls in the conversation. Snake starts to look around uncomfortably. “So uh, I’d guess we’d better be moving on, but it was nice to see you again–”

“Wait.” Wheels stops Snake as he and Spike start to walk away.

Snake frowns. “Is something wrong?”

And Wheels takes a deep breath, visibly summoning the courage to say whatever it is he wants to say. “It’s just… I had a word with Greg, and I was wondering… if maybe you’d like to dance?” he asks. “As old friends?”

For a second Snake just looks stunned, and Wheels turns to Spike. “If that’s alright with you, of course.”

And really, she does have reason to be wary, after the whole Daphne Hatzilakos incident (an incident that, for the record, Joey suspects might have been all about Wheels, though he’s still not entirely sure how), but slowly she smiles. “That’s alright,” she says. “Just so long as you get him home by midnight, and there’s no funny business.”

“Oh, I promise Mrs. Nelson, I will be a perfect gentleman.”

Then Snake gains a slow smile of his own. “I’d like that.”

Wheels nods, and Snake lets go of Spike’s arm, takes Wheels’ hand. Joey just watches as they make their way onto the dancefloor. They get some funny looks, but hey, it’s a gay wedding, how surprised can anyone be to see two guys dancing together? Emma seems very confused, but Lucy just stares at them with this look of realisation on her face. Oh, so that’s what the fight was about. She doesn’t seem angry, or upset by it, more… relieved. Finally she has an explanation.

Then Joey spots Caitlin across the hall, smiling at him, no doubt remembering their own one last dance from all those years ago, before that turned out not to be quite their last dance after all. That’s the thing about endings. They’re never quite as final as you think they’re going to be.

As they sway to the music, Wheels rests his head against Snake’s chest, and Snake doesn’t stop him. It’s easy to imagine the universe where they really could have been together, where this could have been their wedding.

But it’s not so bad it wasn’t.

As the night wears on and the party is starting to wind down, Craig presents him with something. “What is this?”

“A photograph,” Craig says, and well, Joey can see that. He stares at the black and white silhouette of his two best friends dancing together, so different to the way they were when they were kids. “Yeah, I’ve been getting back into that lately. I’m actually thinking of doing a double album thing, like one music, one photo album, once I’m a bit more established of course.”

Joey has to laugh at Craig and all his creative dreams. “That sounds like you Craig,” he says.

Craig nods, but it’s clear there’s something he wants to ask. “So, um, Wheels and Simpson,” and of course Craig would call Snake Simpson, he still thinks of him as a teacher, and it must be strange for him to realise that Snake has a life outside that. “That was a thing?”

Joey nods in turn. No point keeping it a secret now, right? “That was a thing,” he says. “Back when we were at school. They never – they never did anything, they couldn’t, neither of them could ever admit it. But it was hard not to notice after a while.”

“Huh,” says Craig. “That seems like a shame.”

And yeah, it was a shame. “I mean maybe it wouldn’t have worked out anyway,” he muses. “Most of the time they just drove each other crazy. And me. They drove me crazy a lot of the time as well.”

“I bet,” says Craig. “Must have been awkward for you, being the third wheel all the time.”

Joey shrugs. Yeah, it was, but… “They were my best friends. All I ever wanted was for them to be happy.”

And it does seem like Snake and Wheels are finally both happy, even if they’re not happy together. For the first time since he was fourteen, Joey doesn’t have to be worried anymore. Still, it’s hard not to stare at that photo and think about the possibilities, the what-might-have-beens.

“Craig,” he asks, “why did you take this photo?”

“They looked sweet together,” Craig says, like it’s so simple. “I thought someone should capture the moment.”

“Always the romantic,” Joey teases him, but Craig grins.

“What can I say, I take after my dad.”

On their way out of the reception hall it turns out to be the three of them, as Spike and Emma are already in their car. “So,” says Snake, “if we’re all in town, maybe we should do something sometime. See a movie, get some fries, play video games, like old times.”

Joey can see the way Wheels visibly hesitates, and opts to save him. “I’m afraid I’m going to be pretty busy for the next few weeks. And then I’m going to be gone.” Snake and Wheels share a confused look, and he explains. “I’m moving. To uh, Calgary.”

And he has to laugh as, one last time, they speak in perfect sync. “Calgary?!”