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It was a dark and stormy day. Cronus was lying alone on the bed he shared with Alfred. He never could sleep in the human bed, although he wanted to. First of all, they just weren’t comfertable; second, they had no slime so that definitely made it more difficult. Gog- God , why was he damned to be a troll? It’s not like he was liked very much by the other trolls, but that’s not his fault! He just wanted to be cared fer and seen and loved, like anyone else. He’d take any kind of “love”, although his species didn’t really know what “love” was, only pity er hate. They’d care fer each other via moirallegience; what was closest to what he wanted, human love, was matespritship, he got what he wanted but it made him feel worse if anything; there was also kismesissitude, which he would’ve settled fer too; finally, there was auspisticism, which he didn’t care much fer since the auspistice got nothing out of it other than the two trolls, essentially yer wrigglers, it seemed. He was laying on his back in order to feel the least he could of his fins and gills and horns. He wanted to cut off the fins, saw off the horns, and stuff the gills with that human fake skin thing. He’d paint himself tan er maybe dye his skin. He already had white eyes, so he’d just need contacts that covered the pupils too. He lived with a human, er something close enough. As a matter of fact, he didn’t actually know if the person he was with was a real human er not. He seemed human, but Alfred also seemed human. Well, he seemed ta think that he seemed human. If he didn’t look like this. His grey skin and aforementioned horns, fins, and gills stuck him out like a sore thumb among other humans. Which he was, a human that is. He was just stuck in a troll body. Kankri called it otherkin, so he was a “humankin”, and was making his way to be more human and less troll. Living with a human, acting as a human, getting into a human relationship, and, most importantly, living as a human. But he wasn’t. He just wasn’t human. And never will be. He should just pull himself out of the gene pools. Not like trolls had a real gene pool, since everyone was related, so it wasn’t very diverse. Like the human’s gene pool was. Ugh! Humans had it all! Diversity other than the color of their damn blood an horns, meaningful relationships that weren’t crazy, and they looked… well… normal. Normal compared to each other. In retrospect, that argument doesn’t really hold up, but whatever! Alfred looked different from everyone else, other than his brother, and had enough pity- no. Enough love and care for him, enough for them to date. Real dating. Human dating. He still wanted to autodarwinate. How would that make Alfred feel? How would he react, coming home, saying “Hey! I’m back, another boring day, yaknow? Dude? Did you leave or something?” He’d pop his head into the room and see Cronus' double-dead body and probably freak out. He doubted it was the first time Alfred had seen a dead body, but they had a connection and relationship. It’d destroy him, and he’d probably blame himself. Cronus would never want that to happen to Alfred, so he decided against pulling a Dallas Winston. He heard a door an lifted his head to look in the direction of the noise. He heard almost exactly what he predicted.
“Hey, dude! I’m back!”
He sat up properly, got up, and went to meet Alfred.
“Vwhat’s the story, mornin’ glory?” He slumped against the wall at the entrance, he heard that’s a thing Americans do, and it made him feel more human. Especially since Alfred was as American as you could get.
“Nothing, as the uze. England bein’ a spaz, you know I got great ideas, man! They don’t ever listen to me! It’s good though, I’m fine. How are you?” He gave a smile and walked past Cronus, into the livin room. Cronus followed, arms crossed. He spoke as he walked.
“oh, i’m just swvell , doll.” He rolled his eyes, despite the fact Alfred couldn’t see him. He didn’t get a response and just watched Alfred sit down, he sat too. He knew that Alfred wasn’t going to try and read his emotions. He doubted he could tell him, so he just wallowed in his sadness. He pulled out the pack of cigarettes he always had on ‘im an put one in his mouth. Alfred put on Singin’ in the Rain , then turned to Cronus.
“Yaknow, this is a film from the fifties! I know you like things from then.”
“Uh huh.” He turned away, he felt that he was just kind of human, and that Alfred didn’t see him as one. Alfred knew real humans, and knew that Cronus wasn’t one. Obviously. He really needed ta talk about what he was feelin, but couldn’t put it into words properly.
“hey. uh, alfred?” He hesitated.
“Yeah?”
“uhm. i- i don’t knowv howv to explain it. i feel that… i… i don’t vwanna be bad nevws, and i don’t vwanna be a bash ears either.” He pursed his lips angrily.
“You won’t be, I promise, what’s wrong, dude?”
“i feel that i’m not… like… human enough? yaknovw… i just feel that you don’t see me as a human either, and that you are just kind of pretending? my friends made fun of me cuz i just vwant to be human like you, or any other human, and thinking about it gives me the zorros. i feel grundy compared to you, since you are just… are the epitome of human, of an american, i feel lesser than you.”
“You aren’t lesser than me, dude!” Alfred moved closer to Cronus an put his han round his shoulder. “You’re just as human as I am, you just look different, what’s wrong with that! I think you look original.”
“i aint original compared to other trolls.”
“Well, you aren’t a troll. Not in my eyes, at least. I mean, England thinks that you’re human. He’s always complaining that you’re ‘Bumming fags, but never actually bumming them.’ That should assure you that you’re as human as anyone else is.”
“you’re not evwen human yourself, are you? you don’t seem like one!”
“I’m… kind of human? As much as you are.”
“so not at all!” He threw his hands up and pulled away from Alfred’s touch.
“No, I’m human! And so are you, Cronus. Don’t fret about it. I’m going to do anything I can to make you feel better, okay?”
“ugh! fine! i doubt there’s anything you could do, so just try and pretend there is something you could do. so that you can feel better!” He turned fully away and got up.
“Don’t be like that, dude! It’s fine! You’re perfectly human, all of them; of us; are different from each other, special, and just because you look super different doesn’t mean you can’t be just as human as the next guy. You may look abnormal compared to, say, me or I don’t know, Sweden? But it’s the inside that counts, so it doesn’t matter if you look like me, or if you look like a pile of blue sludge, as long as you act human; which you do; that’s all anyone cares about!” Alfred stood too to match Cronus.
“i DOU8T it! a bunch of people care about appearance! just because i act human doesn’t mean everyone else vwill see me as one, especially since there’s the rest of those aliens wvalkin’ round, so everyone just thinks i’m one of them. i don’t think it’d be any better if i vwas the only troll on planet earth!” He continued walking an went into the kitchen ta continue their argument.
“No! No one sees you like that, I tell them that you’re human, you just look different, and everyone sees that too!”
“wvhy do you tell people that! i don’t vwant people to expect some sort of freak or harley rat!”
“I just tell people you’re a greaser, since you are! That’s what they expect, not a junkie!”
“then they must feel peachy wvhen they expect an actual greaser and see some nosebleed!” He felt furious that Alfred wasn’t takin his feelings seriously. He jus wanted Alfred ta see, er feel, what he saw, er felt.
“People like you! They just…” He trailed off, actually noticing that he was going to offen Cronus before sayin what he was goin a say.
“they wvhat! vwhat do they say! tell me, since they won’t!”
“They don’t like your PERSONALITY! You act so awful, I try to make sure that you feel better about yourself! I want to make you feel happy, I work hard because you just happen to actually SUCK as a person, and I can’t keep making you feel like a human if you can’t admit that other people just straight up don’t care about the fact that… that you’re not!”
“wvhat the fuck, dude! i thought you actually cared about me! i had my suspensions that you didn’t, and i guess i wvas right! i should’wve gotten vwith someone better than you, since you are obvwiously obtuse! i fucking hate your fat ass, not ewven in a wvay wvhere vwe could keep dating! i don’t ewver wvant to see you again!” He screamed out his words an walked to the front door. Alfred chased after.
“First of all, I’m not obtuse, and you know that! You’ve always agreed with me whenever we talk about my ideas, so why try and switch up now? Second, I could barely understand what you just said, your accent or whatever is completely baffling and other than the fact you act so distant and act so bad that no one can, like, decipher you whenever you speak. I’m a happy person, but you are such a downer all the time that I can barely interact with other people without having to make sure that you’re fine or okay all of the time. I care about you, but you just push people away, and then complain that people don’t care about you. This is a prison of your own building, don’t drag other people into it, and definitely don’t take me.”
“fine! don’t talk to me!” He opened the door and walked out, but Alfred shoved his way through before Cronus could close it.
“Like I’d want to!” Then he pulled himself back in through the door an shut it himself.