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Knox Overstreet is not gay for Charlie Dalton.
Sure, Knox thinks Charlie is pretty good looking, with his tousled hair and stupidly fit build, but you’d have to be blind not to notice that.
And sure, Knox feels a little flutter in his stomach every time Charlie flashes him one of his signature dazzling Dalton smiles, but how could he not? Charlie has one of the nicest smiles Knox has ever seen, and you’d have to be a total fool not to be moved by it.
And yes, Knox often finds himself seeking out physical contact with Charlie (which isn’t that hard, because Charlie Dalton is something of a touch-starved octopus), but that’s normal behavior between friends. After all, Charlie does the same exact thing, and he certainly doesn’t have feelings for Knox.
But no, Knox Overstreet is not gay for Charlie Dalton.
—
“Knoxieeeeeee, I’m boredddddd,” Charlie whines, resting his head on the table and blinking up at Knox.
Knox stoically ignores him.
Charlie plucks at a sleeve.
Knox flips a page in his textbook.
Charlie gets up, walks around the table, and throws himself into Knox’s lap, causing Knox to almost overbalance his chair.
“Charlie!” Knox sputters, grabbing at the table for support, and trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach at their sudden proximity.
Charlie smirks.
“What? I had to get your attention somehow.”
Knox has an exam in three days. His course grade, and therefore his future, rests on the outcome of this exam. Realistically, he should be furious at anyone who interrupts his studying right now.
But after taking one look at Charlie’s mischievous grin, Knox knows he can’t be mad.
He never can be mad at Charlie.
—
Ok, so maybe Knox is a tiny bit gay for Charlie Dalton.
Fuck.
—
Being a mature, fully fledged adult, Knox deals with this newfound realization very sensibly: he avoids Charlie at all costs and retreats to the library for days on end, protesting a need for a quiet study space. He stops attending all poets’ meetings, and becomes a ghost in his own house.
He thinks he does a decent job of playing this all off as merely being overworked.
That is, until Neil hunts him down and corners him.
—
“Hard at work?”
Knox peers over his towering stack of books at the newcomer.
“Neil!” he exclaims.
“Surprised to see me?” asks Neil, surveying Knox’s cluttered workspace.
“Well, it’s tech week, so yes,” Knox says, closing his current read.
Neil gives him a strange look.
“Tech week is next week.”
Knox suddenly feels very uncomfortable.
“Oh.”
“Which you would know if you spent any time around the house these days.”
It’s a blatant accusation, and Knox knows it. He coughs uncomfortably.
“I’m busy,” he states lamely, waving a hand vaguely at his surroundings.
“Bullshit,” Neil says, crossing his arms.
Knox sighs, and wishes, not for the first time, that some of his friends weren’t so damn perceptive.
Neil’s face softens slightly.
“What’s wrong, Knox?”
“Nothing,” Knox says, but it’s a lie, and they both know it.
“You can tell me anything, you know.”
Knox fiddles with his collar.
“Or if you’d rather talk to someone else,” Neil adds, “you could talk to Charlie.”
Knox snorts.
“Trust me, Neil, Charlie is the last person I can talk to about this.”
As soon as he says it, he regrets it; there’s no way Neil won’t ask questions about that statement.
Sure enough, Neil raises an eyebrow.
“Why is that?”
“Just…drop it, Neil.”
“No,” Neil responds stubbornly.
Knox wants to rip his hair out.
“Please?”
Neil grabs a chair and drags it over to Knox’s desk. Flopping into it, he stares at Knox expectantly.
Knox groans.
“Charlie’s worried about you, you know.”
Knox’s head snaps up at Charlie’s name.
He attempts a lighthearted laugh and fails entirely.
“Really? That’s strange.”
“Is it?” Neil asks, eyes dangerously trained on Knox’s face. “You’ve been avoiding all of us for the past two weeks, and you’ve barely said one word to Charlie when you are around. He thinks he’s done something terribly wrong, and he’s pretty hurt that you won’t tell him what.”
Knox feels a wave of remorse and guilt wash over him. He should have realized that Charlie would notice his behavior; more importantly, he should have realized that Charlie would assume that he was at fault.
God, Knox is such a horrible friend.
Neil is still looking at him.
“Charlie hasn’t done anything wrong,” Knox states hurriedly.
“Then why are you avoiding him?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re Charlie’s best friend.”
Neil furrows his brow in confusion, looking slightly betrayed.
“Knox, I know Charlie and I are very close, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell him your secrets.”
Knox hesitates. The idea of finally getting this big overwhelming secret off his chest sounds so appealing, and it would be nice to come out to someone. To try out saying those words he hadn’t dared yet say out loud.
Neil must see his hesitation, because he leans forward, grasps one of Knox’s hands, and earnestly says “I’m your friend too, Knox, and I care about you.”
Knox’s last shreds of resolve vanish.
“I think…”
His mouth goes dry. He can’t say this; he doesn’t have the strength.
Neil gives his hand an encouraging squeeze.
“I think I…”
He can hear his heart pounding in his ears. Why is he scared? Neil’s openly gay; it’s not like Knox is going to face homophobic backlash for this.
Neil whispers “You don’t have to say it if you’re not comfortable.”
“No. I need to say it.”
“Ok then. Take your time.”
Knox takes a deep breath.
“I think I might be bisexual.”
There. He’d said it. The truth was out.
For a long, painful moment, Neil says nothing.
Then finally, he murmurs “Oh Knoxie, thank you for trusting me with that.”
Knox nods shakily.
Neil soothingly strokes Knox’s palm with his thumb.
“But, if I may ask,” he continues, “why don’t you feel comfortable telling Charlie this?”
Knox looks at his friend and waits for the puzzle pieces to inevitably click together.
Neil’s eyes widen.
“Oh.”
There it is.
“Oh.”
Neil’s formerly sympathetic doe eyes are now filled with a strange expression that Knox cannot place. If he didn’t know better, he might say that Neil looks…excited?
Of course, this can’t be the case. The sleep deprivation and four espresso shots from earlier are clearly getting to Knox.
“Are you going to tell him?”
Knox stares at his friend in shock.
“Why on earth would I do that?”
“Well, he’s your best friend. He deserves to know, and he loves you enough that no matter what, he won’t cast you loose because of your feelings. Besides, what if he likes you back?”
“Didn’t we all tell you the exact same thing about Todd?”
Neil’s ears turn slightly crimson.
“Not the point.”
Knox grins despite himself.
“The point is,” Neil continues doggedly, “I advise you to tell Charlie.”
“I’ll think about it,” Knox says.
(He will not think about it.)
—
The second Neil exits the library, he pumps his fist in the air.
"Yes!" he crows to no one in particular.
Maybe now he’ll finally be free of the constant love-besotted 1 am rants that always end with the same two sentences: "Why don't you just tell him?" "Absolutely not are you fucking insane?"
Knox better tell Charlie, or Neil might just have to take matters into his own hands.
—
After Neil leaves the library, with a last pat on the shoulder and a vaguely threatening “Tell him, Overstreet”, Knox sits back in his chair and contemplates this new development.
On one hand, he feels a wave of immense relief at finally having gotten that secret off his chest. On the other hand, he now feels extraordinarily guilty for his treatment of Charlie over the past few weeks.
Even though he has no intention of ever divulging his feelings, Charlie does at least deserve an apology.
Throwing his books back in his backpack, he tosses his bag over one shoulder and heads home, intent on settling matters.
—
The poets’ “home” is a slightly dilapidated house on the outskirts of campus. In a run down neighborhood, it’s not exactly where most people would choose to reside.
But for the poets, many of whom have been cast off by their families due to their sexualities, or who have never really gotten along with their families in the first place, this weather-worn old building is their sanctuary, their refuge from the harsh realities of the world. What the house lacks in charm is made up for by the many memories that fill its halls.
Knox is one of the lucky poets; his parents still support him, both financially and emotionally. Admittedly, they also still believe him to be straight (as does almost everyone else), but he’s fairly certain that if he ever does have the courage to come out to them, they’ll still love him.
At least, he really hopes so.
But that’s an issue for another day. Right now, he needs to focus on finding Charlie.
—
Charlie is, rather unsurprisingly, in Cameron’s and his room. Knox can tell this because someone is blasting rock and roll very loudly from his room, and he’s pretty willing to bet that it’s not Cameron.
He knocks on the door, feeling slightly nervous.
“Go away!” Charlie shouts.
“It’s me, Char.”
The music stops.
“Can I come in?”
Silence.
Suddenly, a thump. Feet pad towards the door, and then, abruptly, the door swings open.
Charlie places one hand on the door frame and surveys Knox.
“What’s up?” he asks.
It’s not hostile, per se, but it’s definitely not the usual easygoing Charlie tone.
Knox’s stomach twists with anxiety.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Charlie stares at him with an imperceptible look in his eyes; finally, he drops his hand and steps out of the doorway, clearing a path into the room.
“Only for a minute; I’m very busy.”
Considering Charlie has never once studied any longer than an hour for any exam, Knox highly doubts that, but he refrains from saying so.
Charlie flops back onto his bed and stares at the ceiling.
“Well?”
Knox stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, shifting from foot to foot.
“Look…I…I know you’ve noticed that I’ve been kind of distancing myself from you all lately.”
Charlie nods, expression guarded.
“I just…I just want you to know that it’s nothing personal. I’ve been…going through some stuff recently and I didn’t really know how to process it so I pushed everyone away. But it was nothing you did, I swear. And I know you’ve been worried that it was because Neil talked to me, and made me realize how much of an idiot I’ve been. And I’m really, really sorry if I hurt you.”
His apology is greeted with a long, painful silence. In fact, it’s so long that he almost begins to think Charlie is refusing to respond, until Charlie sits up, springs to his feet, strides across the room, and envelops Knox in a hug so tight he almost thinks he’s going to break a rib.
He wraps his arms around Charlie and buries his nose in the shorter boy’s hair, ignoring his rapidly increasing heartbeat in favor of savoring this moment.
Finally, Charlie breaks out of the hug to say “You know you can talk to me about anything, right Knoxie?”
And, oh, how Knox wishes that were true.
But he can’t say that. So instead he says “I’ve missed you, Char.”
And perhaps Charlie sees the pain in his eyes, because for once in his life, he doesn’t press it.
—
The next few days pass peacefully. Although Knox continues to haunt the library, he now does this for the sake of actually studying, rather than avoiding everyone in his life.
He still does attempt to avoid Charlie, but he’s beginning to accept the fact that he needs to learn to handle himself around him. After all, Knox would rather remain his best friend and nothing more than not have him in his life at all, and that’s not going to happen if he can’t manage Charlie smiling at him.
The only minor disruptions to this newfound peace are Neil’s knowing looks and ominous whispers of “Tell him.”
Every time, Knox only shakes his head and moves on, wanting to maintain this recently developed calm.
Unfortunately, it turns out to be the calm before the storm.
—
“A contract requires mutual assent, consideration, and a lawful object to be enforceable under common law principles. To establish a contract, one must first -”
Knox face plants into the law textbook and lets out a groan of frustration. He’s been reading the same two sentences for the last five minutes, and he still has no idea what the author’s saying. This isn’t because he lacks reading comprehension; it’s because frankly, his thoughts are focused on something else entirely.
Or rather, some one .
For a few blissful seconds, Knox allows his brain to slip into dreamland. He imagines himself tangling his hands in those soft curls, kissing those enticing lips, bruising that neck with his –.
His phone vibrates.
Knox jumps, knocking his knee against the underside of the desk in the process.
Silently cursing, he glances at the screen.
When he sees the contact name, he jumps again.
Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.
Dolton
who’s the girl
Knox stares at his phone in confusion.
what girl
yk what girl
????
no I really don’t
Neil said
that you liked someone
but he wouldn’t say who
who is it
Knox is going to kill Neil.
there is nobody
Neil is lying
Neil is not lying
but you my friend are
you’re delusional
stop lying
spill
THERE IS NO GIRL
you lie
cmon I can help you
TELL ME
I’M TELLING YOU
THERE IS NO GIRL
…
I don’t believe you
omg
why are you like this
cmon i’m your best friend
you can tell me
THERES NOTHING TO TELL
…
are you scared that she won’t like you back
I can help you
girls LOVE me
🙄
sureeeeee they do
whatever you say dalton
whatever
that’s not the point of this conversation
the point is you’re hiding smth
and I intend to find out what it is
Knox slams down his phone in frustration. The only person more annoyingly persistent than Neil is Charlie. Once Charlie Dalton gets his mind set on something, it is almost impossible to dissuade him.
Also, to make matters worse, Knox has a really, really bad problem called not being able to resist Charlie, especially when Charlie wants to be persuasive. He has never once managed to keep a secret from Charlie longer than three weeks, with one exception, because a) he tells Charlie everything, and b) when he doesn’t, Charlie pulls it out of him anyway.
In short, Knox Overstreet is thoroughly fucked.
—
He stalls for as long as possible, but unfortunately, something called the library closing exists, so eventually, he has to pack up his bags and drag himself back home.
—
As Knox approaches the house, he contemplates the best methods of getting away with homicide, and wonders how devastated Todd would be if his boyfriend ended up mysteriously turning up dead in a ditch.
Unfortunately for his homicidal aspirations, right now Knox needs to focus all his energy on Mission: Avoid Charlie Dalton.
It’s a mission that’s truly worthy of the next Mission Impossible movie, because as soon as Knox pushes through the creaky screen door, he’s greeted with an overly loud “Knoxious!”
Charlie bounds up from his perch on the couch and pushes past Meeks and Pitts, who are currently deep into another Star Trek binge session.
Knox decides to throw his dignity to the winds and practically runs towards the stairs, throwing his jacket in the vague direction of the coat rack as he goes.
Charlie immediately dashes after him, much to the confusion of Meeks and Pitts.
Knox pounds up the stairs and sprints towards his room, careless of the fact that he’s acting like a twelve year old. He stumbles through the doorway and turns to slam the door in his pursuer’s face, but he’s a fraction of a second too late. Charlie throws his full weight against the door, and thus, a valiant battle ensues, that only ends when Knox, exhausted, steps back, and Charlie crashes to the floor inside his room.
“This is ridiculous,” Knox pants. “We’re behaving like total children.”
“Who said I ever grew up?” Charlie retorts from the carpet, scrambling into a sitting position.
“Great point,” Knox concedes. “Now get out of my room.”
Naturally, Charlie doesn’t obey. He only props his chin in his hands and blinks up at Knox through ridiculously long lashes.
“Tell me who it is,” he states stubbornly.
Knox wonders if anyone would really fault him for knocking Charlie out and dumping him in a ditch somewhere.
“No,” he grinds out.
Charlie pouts.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s none of your business that’s why.”
“Oh, come on. I’m your best friend. Everything is my business.”
Knox tugs distractedly at his hair.
“Charlie, can you just drop it? Please?” he pleads desperately.
Something flickers in Charlie’s eyes - it might be guilt, but Knox isn’t certain. He drops his head and sighs.
“Yeah, I’ll drop it.”
Knox had definitely not expected that.
He also had definitely not expected Charlie to appear so…so defeated .
“Are you…are you ok?” Knox inquires tentatively.
Charlie bites his lip.
“It’s just -”
He hesitates.
“Yes?”
“It just feels like you’re pushing me away so much these days, and you’re keeping so many secrets, and it’s like I hardly know you.”
Charlie whispers the last few words so quietly that Knox almost doesn’t catch them. He’s curled up into a tight ball on the carpet, refusing to make eye contact with Knox.
Suddenly, Knox feels extremely, overwhelmingly guilty.
In his stupid quest to avoid jeopardizing his relationship with Charlie, he’s done just that.
He drops to his knees in front of his friend, and makes an abrupt choice that may turn out to be the worst decision of his life.
Only one way to find out.
“Fine. I’ll tell you.”
Charlie’s head snaps up. He looks strangely uncertain.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you into anything.”
Funny, that’s not the impression Knox got.
“She has brown hair.”
Charlie raises an eyebrow so high that it almost ascends into said brown hair.
“Changing it up after Chris, are we?”
Knox ignores him.
“She’s stupidly hot.”
“You said the exact same thing about Chris.”
“She’s the most annoying person to ever walk the face of this earth.”
Charlie scrunches his eyebrows up in apparent confusion. Knox tries and fails to not notice how ridiculously adorable it is.
“But she’s also incredibly sweet and caring. She hides it behind a facade of horrible jokes and a don’t-care attitude, but I see it, even if she doesn't sometimes.”
“Knox, are you sure this girl exists?”
“Well, no, because the truth is, she doesn’t.”
Charlie rolls his eyes and dramatically collapses backwards onto Knox’s carpet.
Knox takes a deep breath.
“She doesn’t exist,” he continues shakily, “because she is a he, and he is my best friend in the whole entire world.”
Charlie sits up so quickly that Knox swears he hears something crack. His wide eyes frantically scan Knox’s face, searching for Knox doesn’t know what.
“I love you, Char.”
There.
It’s out.
The words hang in the air between them, unable to be taken back or forgotten. Knox wants nothing more than to sink into the ground and be free from the agonizing silence and Charlie’s indiscernible stare.
Able to bear it no longer, Knox moves to stand, face flushed red with shame as he says “I’m sorry Char - Charlie I didn’t mean to –”
A hand snakes up and grabs his collar, jerking him back down. Before Knox can even comprehend what’s happening, warm, insistent lips crash into his.
In that moment, Knox abruptly realizes two things:
- He is not going to kill Neil Perry.
- Charlie Dalton really wasn’t bragging when he said that he could make people’s knees go weak with one touch.
After an initial second of shock, Knox melts into the kiss, hungrily reciprocating. Feeling this, Charlie tangles a hand in Knox’s hair and tugs him closer, sending tingles through Knox’s scalp. Knox moans at the sensation. Charlie smirks against his lips at the sound.
Emboldened, Knox pushes Charlie forward until he crashes to the floor with an oof. Before Charlie can even get his breath back, Knox clambers on top of him and violently kisses him, channeling all the pent up longing and desperation of the past few weeks into his actions.
Suddenly, Charlie breaks the kiss, pushing Knox off him enough to create a small gap between them.
“What’s wrong?” Knox asks, panicked; has he injured Charlie? Has Charlie changed his mind?
“You think I’m stupidly hot?”
“Oh. My. God.”
“Awwww, and you think I’m sweet and caring.”
“I think the phrase ‘most annoying person to ever walk the face of this earth’ was also mentioned.”
“You are never living this down.”
“Charlie Dalton, if you don’t shut up and kiss me within the next five seconds, I will never talk to you again.”
“Point taken.”
—
Alright, so it turns out Knox is a lot gay for Charlie Dalton.