Chapter Text
He just got back from a war. He was lying in a hospital bed for the past two days and did nothing more than staring at the ceiling and small talk with doctors. He didn't really have close friends. Sure, there were people who knew him here in London but none of them were the kind of people who'd visit him in the hospital after he almost died from being blown up.
The only person who would like to see John in his state right then was Carol Watson. His mom loved him and called him a few times already. She was truly worried and on her way to London. It wasn't that John didn't want her to come or to care. It was nice to come back and still have someone who actually cared that he could be dead by now. He didn't want her to see him like this though. His mom was overprotective and now when she actually had a proper reason to be dead worried he didn't want her to see that it's actually that bad.
Because it was bad. All of his body was sore and it felt like he was on fire. He couldn't fall asleep, he could still hear the sound of a bomb ringing in his ears. And all of his left side was injured. He had bandages on. His left arm and shoulder were affected but not completely. His stomach and leg looked worse. He knew it shouldn't be a shame. He survived a bloody war. But thinking about his mom, his supporting and caring mother that cried watching her son getting in the taxi and driving his way to war, that hugged him when he finished college or cleaned up his vomits after he was out drinking all night after a bad break up with Carrie. He himself viewed himself as quite strong, especially when he was at the battlefield. But now all of this confidence changed to unbelievable guilt, pain, worries and fear. God, it was ridiculous that he was so responsible and quick to act in helping people in Ukraine while now doctors opening doors to his hospital room made him anxious.
When his mom arrived the only thing he could possibly think of was covering almost all of his body with covers so she couldn't see his bandages. It was so hard and unnatural to hide something like that. When he was a little boy he would cry and ask for help from her even with a little scratch from falling over during a football match.
But he wasn't that little boy anymore, right?
If not, why did he immediately start sobbing quietly in his mom's shoulder after she had asked about his injuries? And why the only thing that he later remembered from this meeting was his mother whispering in his temple while he was shaking.
"My poor boy, what did they do to you"
"You are such a brave boy"
"I am so glad you're back"
John didn't show those wounds to her until they were healed. The thought of the possible look on her face after seeing his burned body hurt more than the injury itself.
John never showed his unhealed wounds to anyone except for his doctors.