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1.
miles sometimes does wonder about alex turner.
more often than not he'll find himself wondering "is alex ok?" or "i wonder how alex is doing."
sometimes he'll find himself wondering really random stuff, like whether or not he likes fruit salad, then resolve to ask him the next time he sees him.
sometimes he'll wonder about his funny little smiles, and the upturn of the corners of his lips.
sometimes he'll wonder about ways to make him do his funny little smiles.
whatever it is he's thinking about, alex will always somehow find his way into miles' thoughts.
it's a bit worrying, and he wishes he would stop, because it really is getting fucking annoying.
2.
miles really hopes that alex isn't secretly a mind reader, because most of the time he's with alex, he finds himself thinking about some really weird stuff.
(it's mostly always to do with alex.)
on more than one occasion, he finds himself fucking staring - staring(!) - at alex, and sometimes alex'll catch him, and miles'll get all flustered even though he doesn't know what about, and it's kind of really, really pissing him off.
3.
sometimes miles feels like alex knows something he doesn't.
if he does, he wishes that he would tell miles, because really, he is his best friend - i mean, someone get them fucking friendship bracelets, you can bet your ass they're that close - and best friends don't keep secrets.
he adds this to the list of things he'll ask alex about the next time he sees him.
4.
he refuses to call it a plot twist.
that's mostly because it isn't a plot twist at all.
it wasn't a big harry potter moment. it wasn't a "luke, i am your father" moment. it wasn't a moment where the entire theatre gasps and goes "i knew it!"
it was like watching donnie darko for the second time and then it suddenly makes sense, and it's not a plot twist at all because the answer's been right in front of you the whole time.
and you go, "oh", because it is a surprise, don't get me wrong, but the answer was always there, so it doesn't come as big of a shock when you do come to understand it.
realising he's in love with alex is an "oh" moment.
it's an "oh fuck" moment.
it's realising something that he knew all along.
5.
miles concludes that his life is ultimately a rom-com movie.
6.
they're at alex's place, sitting around with the radio, when alex says "this song always makes me think of you."
so, to set the scene, they've been sitting around for the past half hour, not in silence, per se, but not speaking. truth be told, he didn't even care about the radio - wasn't listening, even - he just kind of liked to be in alex's presence, listening to him mumbling along to the words.
if he hadn't had his sudden epiphany earlier, he would probably say that it's a bromance thing.
when miles gives the radio a closer listen, he recognises the song, and it's sonic youth, of all things.
he doesn't like sonic youth.
he knows this song, though.
it's the song his mum would sing to him when he was younger, and it's a song he had developed a nickname after, and --
and it's a bloody love song.
it's fucking sugar kane.
before he knows it alex is on his feet, and he's pulling miles up, murmuring the lyrics, and miles just, you know, goes along with it, because it's alex, and since when has anything alex ever done been a bad idea?
"i love you sugar kane," alex sings over-dramatically, twirling miles, the poor bastard, "a - comin' from the rain."
alex flashes him this grin, and he's absolutely gone.
and that's the story of how they end up dancing to sonic youth in alex's apartment.
7.
alex takes to calling him sugar kane after that.
worse still, miles would be lying if he said he minded.
8.
alex releases a new song a few days later.
"i like it," miles says conversationally, the next time he sees alex, which happens to be in his apartment, lying on the couch with alex's head in his lap. "very... poetic,"
"'s'not supposed t' be," alex mumbles a bit irritably, closing his eyes.
miles doesn't really know what he means, nor can think of anything to say to that, so he nods, a bit dumbly.
he soon gives up conversation in favour of carding his fingers through alex's hair.
9.
he kind of misses being completely oblivious to his own feelings, in a twisted way.
really, it's an inconvenience, because now he doesn't even have an excuse to keep his feelings secret.
to quote his past self, best friends shouldn't keep secrets.
10.
"you're in love with me," alex announces, letting himself into miles' apartment with a grin and a finger pointed at miles.
"what?" miles asks, nearly choking right there on his living room couch.
"you are in love with me," alex says, slower.
"no, i mean, what?" miles presses, putting emphasis on the "what", gesturing wildly and hoping alex will get it.
"do i 'ave to say it again?" alex says, dropping down next to miles on the couch. "you," he drawls, a finger pointed at miles, "are in love with me," he then jerks a thumb towards himself.
"and - and 'ow'd you figure that one out, eh?" miles says, unnerved, and very, very confused as to what the fuck is going on.
"simple," alex laughs, the fucking prick. "i'm a mind reader."
miles doesn't laugh.
"what d'ye want me to say about it, then?" miles grumbles.
"i want you to say it out loud," alex says, like he's telling miles that the grass is green, or that the sky is blue, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"if ye came here to laugh, 'm not interested."
"'m not."
"if yer goin'ta break off our friendship, or maybe confess yer undyin' love for me, can you do it now, pl--"
"just fuckin' say it, kane."
"i love you."
alex looks triumphant. "thank fuck, i was 'avin' me doubts for a second there."
"reassuring. why're ye still here?"
"wha'? isn' it obvious? i love you too," alex grins.
"well that's a fuckin' relief," miles doesn't say, because alex turner is kissing him, and there are more important things to think about when you've got alex turner kissing you.