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mocha knew how these machines worked, the motions stuck to his muscles like memory, his mind far away as he continued work at the lab.
it'll be another sleepless night of running potions, of preparing and working tirelessly for the fight between him and clown. the name would typically spark an unintentional grin on his face, but it's now been five hours since pangi left for the night and mocha is hardly conscious, operating completely on auto pilot.
he's not sure when the last time he left the lab was, when he saw the blue, cloudless sky or the green blades of grass on the surface. maybe the yellow kingdom banners of even the red accents of his own faction's home. these days, time blurs together and mocha can hardly tell his days apart from one another. well aside from one unusual change in his preparation schedule.
the red faction brunet, going back and forth helping mocha run the machine. he said mocha could sit back for a minute if he wanted, he needed to get his own levels up anyways, but mocha doesn't do well being still these days. best to keep moving. best not to fall back into his own thoughts.
jonnaay is silent in a way mocha can appreciate. he doesn't stare and his statements hardly linger. he knows how to blend into the background when it is necessary. and so they continue their rounds. running back and forth, gathering ingredients, gathering potions. a good few hours later, it'll be another day and mocha will catch a glimpse of pangi and maybe this time he will know the right thing to say.
mocha turns to the only other person as he tries not to catch a glimpse of their small, tragic lab. it's a mess of machinery that mocha can't quite bring himself to be proud of at the moment. the empty white noise makes it feel as though his ears are ringing and he pauses as something bubbles in his throat to say, anything to say. suddenly this silence is uncomfortable and suddenly mocha feels a need to stop suffocating.
jonnaay beats him. "i have voices in my head, you know." he says it easily, not even glancing at mocha to confirm whether or not he had registered what he had said. it's a fact, a statement, nothing mocha needed to comment on, but he chokes and thinks he can feel his heart sputter.
"well, not voices. a voice, singular. i have one." jonnaay continues comfortably and doesn't seem to notice how mocha's grown wide eyed or how his tail keeps flicking, on edge. "well. i mean, it's less a voice and more a person. there is another person in my head. he comes out sometimes, but i don't think you've ever seen him."
"his name is max. i'm not sure how he ended up there. but sometimes i hear him and sometimes he, like. comes out. i can't control it." jonnaay catches mocha's gaze for the first time before quickly turning away, continuing to tend to the potions. "do you get the feeling?"
he doesn't look at mocha when he asks and he doesn't turn around to see how he answers, but mocha stares into the back of his head anyways. he thinks back on the concluding pages of one particular twenty-seven page book and pauses. the lab was suddenly too small and too large and jonnaay was too close and then far again and mocha's heart sputters.
the pause is long and mocha can only keep himself mechanically breathing before—
"i might." and the weight is crushing. he says it like a secret precisely because it is one, a secret he doesn't at all expect jonnaay to understand, but anxiety pricks his skin regardless at the smallest admission of truth. it's just two words and it means so much more but jonnaay hardly spares a glance, eyes fixed on the potion machinery, the faintest hum indicating that he had heard what mocha said in the first place.
mocha pauses again, and the buzzing feeling in his skin make him feel the most awake he has felt in days. "people—," he pauses again. "...in your head. or. in your... body. i've..." his ears are ringing now. "i've heard of something similar... not the exact same, but..." he trails off and hopes that maybe the brunet gets the message. or maybe he hopes that he wouldn't understand in the slightest.
jonnaay looks at him with an unreadable expression. and mocha knows jonnaay wears his emotions and thoughts on his sleeve, but this time, mocha could hardly tell what was going on behind his eyes. the brunet shifts on his feet before breaking his gaze away. mocha's ear twitch as they pick up on his next words, barely caught in between the mess of turning gears and machinery. "okay. that's good. then...i'm glad i told you..." he shifts on his feet again before he concludes. "you are... the only one— the, uh, the only one who know of all... this."
mocha clenches and unclenches his hands. "okay." and that was it. the conversation was complete and the two exchanged no more words. and wouldn't exchange anymore. jonnaay left for the night with a brief nod and mocha wouldn't see him again, now left with his machinery all alone again and the faintest trace of a secret.
jonnaay's secret is his to keep now, for however longer he'll keep living with it. his burden. but then again, jonnaay wasn't the only one who shared something, who spoke too much. and to think, that mocha would give up something as vital as this to a troublesome red faction brunet, someone who is as equal parts determined as he is agitating.
huff of laughter tumble out of his chest at the absurd thought now that the brunet had left. he laughs to himself and his face feels numb after pulling an expression after several hours of blank stares. soon the sun will come up and it won't be long again till jonnaay forgets this frivolous and meaningless interaction between them. but it's hardly broken dawn and mocha is pressing the back of his palm to keep himself from laughing. how unbelievable they are. to think, to any dimension they could be similar?
or maybe mocha is foolish. in several regards he already knows he is, but this, this secret, it means something, at least for now. so he will live with it, bury it right underneath his ribs, right underneath his heart, until it doesn't beat anymore. then he can forget, just as he was meant to.