Work Text:
TITLE: New teacher reviews Deku's cooking 🍳😳 (GOES WRONG!)
CHANNEL: U.A. NETWORK VIEWS: 1.1M
“Hey everyone!” Deku claps his hands while he’s smiling at the camera, his clothes not being as formal as they normally were. He was the principal after all, so most of the time he would be running around everywhere in a suit and tie. This time, however, was different. He was cooking… with the new teacher he had hired.
It wasn’t anything weird! He just thought it would be good for the school to not be so uptight all the time. Yes, they were training future pro-heroes, but they were also training kids. So he thought it would be a good idea to do something the youth would resonate with. And that was with making videos! He remembers his own days as a teenager. How he would constantly be on the web, watching something funny to cheer him up, to put his mind off reality for some time.
So when he saw other schools and companies make these short 15 second videos, he wanted to take it a step further.
“Today we are here, with…”
“Your future teacher, bitches!” The new teacher dynamically comes on camera.
“Um… you probably shouldn’t swear.” He chuckles nervously, folding his arms. It was true that the new educator was… very energetic. So this should be interesting.
“Oops. Sorry.” They say, putting their hand over their mouth, not an ounce of sincerity in their voice. Deku deadpans.
“So what are we cookin’?”
“Um… Oh god. This is embarrassing.” He says, putting his arms on his hips and looking down, sighing, before looking up again.
“Eggs.”
“I’m sorry…?” The teacher’s eyes widen.
“I-I don’t know how to cook eggs. So… uh… You could- teach me?” He says nervously, taking in the teacher’s expression. At that moment, they were more focused on trying not to laugh, as the camera zooms in on their faces.
“You… You can’t co-”
“No I can’t-
“You can’t cook an egg?”
“Well… N-?”
Deku stops himself from continuing because it looked like the teacher wanted to say something. But they held back as they removed themselves from the frame. Deku watched their movements carefully before realizing what they were doing.
“Wait!” He chuckles nervously once again “Come back! It’s not that bad!”
The teacher couldn’t hold their laugh for much longer.
”Dude…” They say, coming back into the frame, covering their face with their hands.
“You have beat almost every villain you’ve met and you can’t cook an egg? I-I’m sorry. Oh my god. I shouldn’t laugh.”
Deku covers his eyes with his hand in embarrassment, as the new staff member is now giggling uncontrollably. He was definitely expecting this to happen. He was one of those guys who could somehow figure out the complicated stuff but not the easy ones. You could give him an insanely complicated recipe or equation and he would make it or solve it perfectly. He didn’t understand how it was possible.
“Okay… okay…” said the teacher trying to calm down, while holding their stomach as it had started to hurt from their previous laughter “When you say cook, do you mean boil or fry the egg?”
Deku thought for a second, but before he could speak…
“Ok, wait. I’m sorry. I just can’t get over this. Let’s say your girlfriend asks you to cook something. What would you even do if you can’t even handle eggs?”
“Well… something like soup, meat-” Deku blushes before getting interrupted again.
“How can she trust you with meat when you don’t know how to cook eggs?!” The teacher asks in shock. How has that poor girl not caught salmonella yet?
“Uravity, girl. I will make sure your man gets trained well. Don’t you worry!” They point at the camera.
“What do you MEAN train?!” Deku squeaks surprised. This was not going to go well.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER…
“HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BURN IT ALREADY?!”
“I DON’T KNOW!”
This time, Deku was the one giggling uncontrollably from how nervous he was. He felt like he was getting lectured by his mother. Except the person next to him, who was now running to turn off the hot plate was way younger and a bit less patient.
“What the fuck are you going to do if I get held at gunpoint and a villain asks you to fry an egg to release me?! That is how seriously you should be taking this! What if you’re the last person on earth and the only food you have are EGGS?!” They say, hands on their hips, turning to Deku, almost looking dead serious. If it wasn’t for the fact that their voice was a bit unstable from trying to hold their laugh.
“In what-” Deku starts before trying to hide his chuckle with a sigh “In what universe would that happen?”
“WELL WHAT IF?!”
“IT’S NOT POSSIBLE!”
“YES IT IS. WHAT IF THE VILLAIN’S QUIRK ARE EGGS?”
“HOW WOULD THAT WORK?”
“DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THAT, HUH?”
Deku couldn’t hold his laugh anymore. He was trying to be serious for the video but his new hire was impossible. A normal person would fire them on the spot, but Deku liked how they were. How, despite his principal status, he was getting treated like everyone else. People were too tense around him, so this was nice. After all, the point of the video was for the teacher to show their personality. He had even told them that beforehand and they were definitely living up to it.
“This isn’t fucking funny.” The teacher says, also giggling a bit, trying not to only steady their breath but also trying to appear as serious as they could. Deku was too distracted by the ridiculous made up scenario to even correct them on their foul language.
“Well… I mean… I like how creative you are. The students are definitely going to be prepared for anything now.” He says smiling.
The more the video went on, the more he was laughing. This person was just too energetic, loud and unpredictable.
“Wait! Wait! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He says. He burnt the egg for a third time and he was laughing as the teacher held him in a playful headlock.
“APOLOGIZE TO URAVITY!” They urge Deku, also laughing.
“OCHAKO I AM SO SORRY FOR BURNING THE EGG. I WILL BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND AND TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU THE BEST EGGS AND- AND LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE. I’M SO SORRY. STOP. PLEASE. PLEASE. I SAID IT.” He was now wheezing, but somehow whining at the same time. His hands were trying to move the teacher’s. Damn they were strong. That was to be expected from someone who was teaching the next generation of pro heroes.
After freeing himself, Deku was now trying to refill his lungs, breathing heavily. He spoke: “Students. I am so sorry. I know you are in good hands but good luck.”
After a few seconds of silence, of the teacher not replying, Deku slowly turned to them, seeing that they were now glaring at him. Obviously not seriously, but he was in a headlock a few seconds before. No doubt they could do it again. Deku’s eyes widened a bit in concern.
Thankfully, after trial and error, after many screams, threats and laughs, Deku finally managed to fry an egg. Deku put his hands on the kitchen island and sighed from how tired he got.
“You’re sighing like I’m sending you to fend for yourself in the streets. I’m literally saving you!” The teacher states, folding their arms proudly, as they finally got Deku to fry an egg successfully.
“I probably would have had a better survival rate out there.” Deku looks at the teacher, who gasped animatedly.
“Fucking sassy man apocalypse.” They shake their head, looking at the camera.
“I’M the one who’s sassy?!” He replies in a performative disbelief.
“Well, yes! You should be grateful I’m teaching you this!”
“Isn’t that your job, though?”
The teacher looks at Deku, absolutely silenced, as he stares back at them blinking, acting naive.
“You’re done!” The teacher scoffs playfully, as they, again, attempt to leave.
“At least try the egg! Please! I tried really hard!” Deku says as he starts giggling again. The teacher hesitantly makes their way over again, opening the cabinet to get a fork and a knife. As they make their way over to the plate with the one successful egg, they took their first bite. Deku was way more nervous than he should be, but he acted as coolly as he could. It felt like ages passed as he stared at them, looking for their validation. He was getting screamed at a lot during this. So it would be kind of sad if they didn’t like it. He was starting to sweat.
“Okay… It’s actually not bad. A bit more crispy than it should be but it is edible!” They say in surprise.
“Oh, thank god!” Deku says, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, while clutching his shirt, where his was heart was.
“You know… you kind of remind me of my friend… Dynamight. You were definitely way nicer than he would be in a situation like this though.” As those words come out of his mouth, the teacher’s posture suddenly changed. They were smirking. Deku noticing this, got nervous again.
“Dynamight, huh? Do you want me to actually act like him?!” They said, challenging him.
“Wait. That’s not what I meant-” Deku tries to explain himself. But it was already too late.
“I HATE THIS FUCKING EGG! I WOULD RATHER EAT SHIT. YOU SHOULD EAT SHIT!” They yelled pointing at the egg, themselves and Deku respectively.
“NOOO. I tried so hard too.” Deku says whining playfully, laughing tiredly for a bit again.
COMMENTS (10.7K):
quirkyacademiafan:
what is even happening omg
allmightandchill:
IM SHITTING MYSELF AHAHHDFAHF
randomuser129481:
we’re doomed
herosupportermha:
IM SO UPSET I DIDNT GET INTO UA
uravityofficial:
Thank you so much for trying! He came home really proud saying how he could finally fry an egg. But he burned it again ://
-replies
endeavoringcreativity:
HE PUT SO MUCH EFFORT TOO </3
urarakaencourager:
just pray that teacher doesn’t see this comment LMAO