Chapter Text
PLAYA DES LOSERS
I sat in the comfortable lounge chair that was provided on this island, this felt like pure luxury, way better than that pathetic excuse of a camp, but I haven't found anything quite interesting to do here, even if there were so many things. It felt boring without Cody, all I could do is read books for now until he arrived here. I'm a bit glad I got voted off, I don't want to deal with those dumb challenges anymore, but me and my family do need the money. I'll just go on some different show after all of this is finished.
I still had a lingering thought in my mind, the way Cody was acting was strange to me. He's been more panicky after a few days on the island, and he has been acting a lot more strange in my eyes. I can see the way he acts on television as well when Chris lets us watch what's happening on the other island, it didn't feel normal at all. I just hope he's doing okay without me, I'm sure Harold can help him out too. I don't like that guy, but he's Cody's best friend, so I can trust him a bit. I can't STAND his utterly long explanations about certain topics, it's like being forced to watch the most boring documentary of your entire life. But of course, that isn't the main thing I am worried about. I have a lot of other things to worry about.
Everything suddenly got darker, though I sure as hell knew it was still daytime. I raised an eyebrow and looked up, Eva was hovering over me, blocking the sun. What does she want?
" Hey. "
She muttered, a harsh tone in her voice. Is she just always angry?
" Hey. "
I say back, laying my hands comfortably on my stomach.
" You seem really zoned out. What's up with you? "
Eva asked, wow, I didn't think she'd bother caring, about anything even. I hum, breaking eye contact.
" It's nothing. "
I lied, rolling my eyes.
" Cut the crap, Noah. You've been sitting here for like- an hour, zoning out the entire time. Obviously something's up, spill it. "
Eva furrowed her eyebrows, ..or eyebrow. Haha. I let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.
" I'm just.. worried, okay? "
I decided to be honest, I needed to get this off my chest, ramble to someone about it. See if they noticed too.
" Worried about what? "
Eva tilted her head, her tone growing more soft. She must've noticed the discomfort on my face.
" ..Cody. "
I whisper under my breath, I didn't expect her to hear. I haven't come out to anybody besides Owen, so I grew more tense by the second.
" Huh? "
Eva had a more confused look on her face, she didn't hear me.
" I said Cody. I'm worried about Cody. "
I raised my voice, clutching my hands into fists and laying them back onto the surface of the arm rests of the lounge chair.
" Cody? Why are you worried about that dweeb? "
I could tell she got even more confused, just by the look on her face. How was I going to explain this without sounding like a total homo? I thought for a second, chewing the skin on my bottom lip before I finally decided to reply.
" Have you not noticed how weird he's been acting? Do you.. do you not watch what's going on? "
I said, I don't expect her to know Cody too well, or notice him that much. I saw a clip of what happened to him in the cafeteria, thinking about it again makes me shudder.
" Uh.. no, not really. "
Eva scratched the back of her head, I let out a heavier sigh.
" Don't be so dramatic. Just tell me what's been going on. "
Eva pushed, I felt hesitant. The feeling of being watched suddenly appeared, I didn't want to tell her. Not yet.
" I'll tell you later. "
I proceed to grab my book that was laid on a small table beside me, flipping it open. There was a silence between the two of us, I felt awkward even with my eyes on the book.
" Fine. "
Eva said quietly, eventually walking away. I felt more at ease. I always liked being alone, but I still felt so strange. I couldn't help but think about what happened when Cody was in that cafeteria. I wonder if Chris knows anything about it, I know he has cameras literally everywhere, but as long as he doesn't air the moments me and Cody had on television. I don't want either of us to get outed.
I laid my book down on my lap, there was too much in my mind, I couldn't pay attention to the words on the pages. I could remember the day like it was yesterday, I couldn't get it to get out of my mind. I covered my face with both hands for a brief moment before letting out a loud sigh. I'm being tormented even when I'm not on that stupid island.
2 weeks ago
I sat at the edge of my bed, rubbing my forehead in discomfort. Man, random headaches are the worst! And really REALLY annoying. I lifted my head, my gaze shifting towards Noah. He was reading a book, how unexpected.. I stood up and went to sit down next to him, leaning my head against his shoulder.
" Do you have any ibuprofen in your bag? I got a headache. "
I asked, watching as he lowered his head to look at me.
" I think so. Go look in my bag yourself, I'm sure it's in there somewhere. "
Noah shifted his attention back towards his book, of course he's gonna make me look for it myself. Ugh.. dude.
" Okayy! "
I simply said, standing back up again, crouching down and lowering my head to look under the bed, attempting to find Noah's duffel bag.
..Oh.
I shudder heavily and let out a shaky breath, quickly grabbing the duffel bag before standing back up. I really hated centipedes, why do they have to have so many legs!? Us humans only have 2 legs and we can walk just fine! I'll just continue looking for that ibuprofen.. I began to search inside the bag as I sat down next to Noah, hopefully that thing doesn't crawl up my leg while I'm here. After struggling for about a minute, why does Noah have so much stuff in here?? But, I found ibuprofen. Finally dude.. That was frustrating. I took the pill bottle and opened it up, putting one pill into my mouth, easily swallowing without any water.
" ..Normally people would drink water with that. "
Noah muttered, raising an eyebrow at me. Why does he care?? I can do what I want with it!
" Well, I'm not those people. "
I rolled my eyes playfully, shoving the pill bottle back into the duffel bag, leaving it on the bed for now. I looked over Noah's shoulder, trying to figure out what kind of book he was reading. I didn't notice how awfully close I was until now, but hey, we're boyfriends, does it really matter?
" What are you doing?? "
Noah asked, placing the book down onto his lap. I could see some of the words a bit better.
" I wanna know what you're reading, man. "
I locked eyes with him, and he let out a sigh, looking back towards his book.
" It's nothing much, really. Why are you interested in what I'm reading, anyway? I thought you didn't like books. "
Noah said suspiciously, eyeing me up and down.
" ..Ah- just wondering.. Gotta keep a conversation going, y'know? "
I grinned awkwardly and nudged his shoulder, causing him to roll his eyes.
" You're bad at keeping conversations. "
Noah said, and I let out a pout. Why does this guy have to be so mean sometimes.. I laid my head back down on his shoulder, trying to relax myself, before Noah spoke up again.
" ..You know, you don't have to stay with me. You can go to the cafeteria if you want. "
Noah murmured, looking back towards me.
" Huh? Why? "
I asked, confused by the sudden quietness in his voice.
" I'm sure the others would like to talk to you, especially Harold . Plus, you should probably eat something, it could be the cause of your headache, you haven't eaten yet. "
That was pretty reasonable.. That could be a reason for my strange headache. But I really hated Chef's food! It always tasted like garbage, so I try to avoid eating it, no matter how hungry I felt. I wish we had real food here.
" You sure? "
I say skeptically, Noah does enjoy being alone most of the time, but I seriously don't blame him for that. It's nice to have some peace and quiet once and a while, nothing wrong with that. Even I like some quiet sometimes.
" Yeah, I'm sure. Just get off my shoulder, you're making it sore, man. "
Noah nudged my head off his shoulder, and I frown dramatically. I then stood up from the bed and stretched, before taking Noah's hand, pressing my lips gently against the top of it. I am such a gentleman! Noah scoffed at the action, he didn't seem too amused.
" Alright, alright. Enough. I'll see you later, Cody. "
Noah smiled, and I gave him a nod in reply before leaving him by himself in the cabin. I was well aware of the cameras in there, so maybe I shouldn't have done that.. But Chris has cameras everywhere! It was gonna be hard to hide the fact that we're in a relationship. I'll just PRAY he doesn't air anything we've done on television. I'm scared about what my parents might think of me if they found out. I wonder if Chris watches me use the bathroom.. Oh god.. He wouldn't let that air on television, right!? I don't want the whole world to see me use the bathroom! That's embarrassing.
Once I arrived at the cafeteria, the smell of Chef's food entered my nostrils, making me shudder and feel nauseous. Ugh, it smelled so gross. How can people eat that crap, seriously? It was like the food was alive, I could see it move sometimes when I had it on my plate. But, anything to fill an empty stomach I guess. I should get something for myself, I am pretty hungry.
I walk over to the long counter at the back of the cafeteria, receiving a glare from Chef, he must've been mad that I was late for lunch. I smiled nervously and picked up a food tray, holding it with two hands. Chef poured some sort of slop onto my plate with a ladle, and I almost gagged from the smell of it. What even was that?? I'll never even know.
I went to go find a seat anyway, and I decided to sit next to Trent, since we were on the same team and I was pretty close to him already. The guy was staring at Gwen like crazy, and his pupils were the size of pool balls. I glanced over at Gwen, she was staring as well. I let out a soft sigh, they seemed to be too busy staring at each other to acknowledge me. I wasn't sure where Harold was, so I pretty much had nobody to talk to. I poke my fork into my food a couple times, my appetite was completely gone at this point. I'd rather deal with a cluster headache than eat whatever this is. I couldn't help but wonder how my cat was doing back at home. He was doing okay, right? I mean, I trust my parents enough to take care of them, I don't think they'd let him starve. I wonder if Brodie misses me. As I got lost in my thoughts, someone snapped their fingers in front of my face, making me snap out of my thoughts.
" H- Huh? "
I stuttered, raising an eyebrow. The person said my name, it was Owen.
" I said, are you alright? You seem really out of it, dude! "
Owen smiled at me, but I could see the worry on his face. I gave him a smile back anyway, nodding my head to reassure him.
" Yeah, uh.. I'm okay. Just thinkin'. "
I stare back towards my tray, continuing to poke my fork into the disgusting slop chef calls "food". Maybe Owen would want it? I'm never gonna eat this, that's for sure. It seems like the guy would eat anything at this point.
" Ah, alright then! ..say, are you gonna eat that? "
Owen asked, pointing towards my food. I shook my head and slid the tray across the table, offering it to him. I then placed a hand on my own cheek, while my elbow rested on the surface of the table. I felt so strange for some reason, dizzy even. Maybe I should've eaten that slop..
" Thanks buddy! "
Owen said, before digging right in. It didn't even look like he was chewing his food. He was pretty much just swallowing it whole, and I involuntarily shuddered in disgust, but I let my gaze go downwards, trying not to pay any attention to Owen. I waited patiently for him to finish eating, there was a sudden quietness between us both afterwards. It felt awkward. I fidgeted with the bracelet around my wrist, he was just.. staring at me. I felt uneasy.
" Do you feel real, Cody? "
My eyebrows furrow, what was he talking about? I began rubbing the back of my neck, my gaze locked onto his hands that were laid flat onto the table.
" What are you talking about, man? "
I chuckle nervously, not knowing what else to say. Was he trying to get a reaction out of me? This must've been some weird joke of his to creep me out. I swallowed my saliva, my nerves only growing once he started full-on crawling on top of the table. Nobody seemed to even care about what was happening, they were minding their own business. Why wasn't anyone paying attention?? What the hell was going on?
" It's quite cold, isn't it? "
..What? I felt a shiver go down my spine, my body suddenly felt cold, my arms were freezing. I unconsciously grip onto my arms, feeling how cold they were against my palms. I was frozen in place, I didn't have the strength to move, and my body felt all numb. I felt the need to cry, my eyes glossy with unshed tears. He was up close, right in my face at this point. I could only watch as Owen's limbs bent in ways that were unnatural, more arms and legs extending out of his body. I heard the sound of his joints popping, I wanted to puke from the sound. I let out a shuddering breath. My heart raced in my chest, I could barely breathe, nor speak. I could only watch. There were two bumps forming on his forehead, they looked like.. Disgusting pimples. They suddenly popped, pus and blood splattered onto my face, and I felt so much more nauseous. Two antennas sprouted out from the holes, he was replicating some sort of.. some sort of humanoid centipede. Fuck.. fucking hell- I'm gonna throw u-
" CODY!? "
I heard a yell and felt someone shaking me, making me snap out of whatever that was. I let out heavy pants, I could finally breathe. My entire body trembled, feeling the same coldness I was feeling just a few seconds ago. What the fuck was that!? A lump formed in my throat, oh my god... A mortified look was on my face as I looked up at Owen, then the others. Everyone was staring at me. I stood up from my seat, backing away. I couldn't even tell if this was real anymore.
" Cody? Are you- are you alright? You're breathing pretty fast there.. "
Owen's voice grew more quiet. I could only stare at him, I still couldn't say anything. I then covered my mouth, my stomach contents rushing up to my throat, making me wretch against my hands, puke splattering down onto the cafeteria ground. I then shakily moved my hands away from my mouth, the aftertaste of it covered my tongue. Even Chef looked concerned, everyone looked disgusted. My eyes scanned the room one last time, before I rushed out of the cafeteria. What the actual fuck just happened!? I rushed over to the cabin, hoping to find absolutely nobody in there. Unfortunately, as I came in, Noah was still there. I grew even more tense, my breathing was still labored and heavy. Noah looked up at me in concern, I could see disgust form on his face as he saw the puke on my hands.
" Cody?? What the hell- ..ugh.. "
Noah gagged, covering his mouth as well. Noah was sensitive to the smell and sight of puke, so I retreated to the bathroom as quickly as I could. I continued to pant heavily, washing my hands in the sink, putting on extra soap to get the puke smell to go away. I then splashed water on my face, trying to calm myself down. Noah eventually walked into the bathroom with me, and I looked over my shoulder at him, I was still very shaky.
" ..What happened? "
Noah asked, his voice softening. I looked at myself in the mirror, laying my hands onto the edges of the sink.
" I.. I don't even know, man- I don't know.. "
I sniffle, tears finally beginning to storm down my face. The feeling of crying after not being able to, it felt relieving. But at the same time, I felt so hurt. I looked down at my hands, I could ever so slightly see double vision, and I still felt nauseous even after puking like that. I heavily swallowed, soft sobs leaving the back of my throat.
" Hey- hey.. Uh.. Calm down, it's okay. "
Noah placed a hand on my shoulder, making me tense and flinch, before relaxing. Or, at least trying to. But my sobs only grew louder, I needed to let everything out, I could barely control myself any longer. I don't care if there was a camera on me right now.
" Did something happen in the cafeteria? "
Noah asked, but I couldn't hear what he was saying, I could only hear the loud beating of my heart and my heavy breathing and sobs. Every other noise drowned out, and my vision went blurry. It felt like someone had their hands wrapped tightly around my throat, not letting me breathe properly. I felt so weak.
" Cody?? "
Noah spoke again, I could only pay attention to my reflection in the mirror. I couldn't see myself anymore. I didn't know what was happening, what was happening to me. That moment felt so real, too real. I could even feel the breaths he took against my face, and the way the disgusting blood and pus landed onto my face. I held back the urge to vomit again, wiping my face as if the grossness was still there.
" Do you, uh.. need a moment alone? "
Noah asked, I could hear his voice faintly, I could finally figure out what he was saying. I quickly shook my head, I didn't want him to leave. I felt like he was the only one who could make me feel better right now.
" I– I... "
I panted out, no other words leaving my lips. Snot ran down my nose, and I just kept letting out sniffles.
" What? "
Noah whispered, a slight rasp in his voice. I glanced over at him, there was pure worry on his face. I couldn't help but feel guilty for some odd reason.
" Cody, please. Just– try to talk to me. I can't understand you. "
Noah pushed, and my fingers twitched, I grew frustrated that Noah kept trying to push me when I clearly couldn't speak.
" I ca– can't... mm.. "
I stuttered horribly, I've never felt this much mental pain before. This felt embarrassing, I always hated crying in front of Noah. I hated crying in front of anybody, it made me feel too vulnerable and weak. I need to be a man.
" ..Was the food really that bad?- "
Noah tried to joke, but I only felt my eye twitch. I let out a groan, clenching my hands into fists, my fingers digging into my palms.
" WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?! "
I snapped, raising my voice completely. I felt so overstimulated, I kept crying out. The guilt got worse after I had realized what I just did, I really just snapped at my own boyfriend. My eyes darted around, and I just rushed past Noah, stumbling a bit in my steps. I couldn't stand up anymore. I fell backwards onto one of the beds, sitting down, trying my best to calm down. I covered my face with both hands, then I felt Noah sit beside me. I got the courage to look over at him, searching for any disappointment or anger in his eyes. But he looked the same.
" ..I'm.. I'm sorry, I didn't.. mean to yell like that.. "
I tried wiping my own tears, but I felt Noah's hand cup my cheeks with the palm of his hands, wiping them away himself. I locked eyes with him, I felt so disappointed in myself, I couldn't control my feelings. I felt pathetic.
" It's okay. "
Noah whispered to me, even with the reassurance, it didn't feel okay at all. I decided to stay quiet about it, leaning into the palm of one his hands, finding comfort in his affection.
" Do you want to talk about what happened some other time? "
I thought about it for a moment, but I gave him a small nod. I expected Noah to be upset with me, but he wasn't. All I saw was softness in his eyes, he was genuinely trying to care for me even after how rude I was to him. This almost felt unreal.
" Okay. "
Noah nodded back, exhaustion really hit me like a brick, I just realized. I let out a shaky sigh, taking deep breaths to calm myself down. It took me a while, but I eventually managed.
" I think you should take a nap, you seem tired. I'll make sure nobody bothers you. "
Noah gave me a small smile, and I looked towards the pillow. A nap would be great right now. I murmured a soft "okay" before getting into bed, covering myself with the blankets. I stared towards nothing, before finally closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.
–
Noah looked at his boyfriend as he gently rubbed his shoulder through the blanket, trying to comfort him even if he was already asleep. Worry and curiosity was killing him, he really wanted to know what happened in the cafeteria, but it seemed like he pushed Cody too hard from trying to figure that out. He hopes Cody will tell him sometime later.
–
" He never even told me what happened, Eva. All I know is that he panicked and threw up, that's it. I don't know if anybody else knows. "
I crossed my arms over my chest, my leg bouncing up and down. I hope Cody gets voted off soon, so he can come here and we can talk about what happened. What if he didn't want to talk, though?
" Hm.. maybe he just– I don't know, needed a lot of time? I'm not a professional at predicting scenarios. "
Eva stood in front of me, the worry I felt was killing me inside now that I was thinking about it a lot more. There was more that had happened, rather I saw it on clips, or in person. It concerned me too much.
" Yeah, right. "
I let out a heavy sigh, my tone was a bit more harsh than I intended it to be. The both of us stayed silent for about a minute, until Eva spoke up.
" Do you wanna go hang out with me and Iz by the pool to get things off your mind? "
Eva offered, pointing her thumb towards the door. I give her a nod, standing up from the bed.
" Sure.. whatever. "
I followed her out of the area, I need to tan some more anyway.