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Itoshi Sae silently sips from his first cup of salted kelp tea of the day. One cup during breakfast to make sure his digestive system doesn’t get in the way throughout the day. As the bitterness washes down his throat, he walks to the sink in satisfaction.
One may find it difficult to imagine Japan’s treasure busy scrubbing his dishes, but it would be more difficult for him to memorise the buttons on a dishwasher. All nooks and crannies of his brain are meant for football tactics, not the user manuals of household appliances. Also, living alone means a limited amount of dirty plates anyway; Sae doesn’t care enough to hire someone to do it.
As if to mock Sae’s excuses of a life skill, his mug swiftly slides away from his bubbly hands and bounces onto the porcelain counter with a loud thud. He is quick to rinse off his slippery situation, then carefully picks up the mug for closer inspection.
Luckily, it hasn’t shattered into pieces like he expected. Not a single chip in sight, the soaring seagull residing on it has survived its disastrous bath. Sae can only credit that to his keen eye when he chose it from the department store’s cup section.
After a sigh of relief, like a child who has done something wrong, Sae wordlessly looks at the cupboard installed overhead. Beyond the glass sits a cup of the same pink hue, but instead of a seagull, it is decorated with a birdhouse. The similar brushstrokes allow no suspicion that they belong to a set, which is unusual since seagulls are not known to stay anywhere, let alone in a house.
If Sae places his cup to the left, it will look like the seagull is flying away from his home against the rising sun. If it is to the right, then it will appear to be returning home after a day of terrorising tourists on the beach. He enjoys deciding the scene every time he puts away his half of the matching mugs.
Sae thinks back to the day he got the set. It was almost Christmas two years ago when he moved into his current apartment, and the housewarming gifts from his teammates, mostly kitchenware, were ugly if he put it politely.
After making his manager take care of the unsightly gifts, he set out to the department store to get kitchenware he wouldn’t strain his eyes looking at. A lot of people were out on the streets, preparing gifts and whatnot for the upcoming festival. Most of them were absorbed in the festive season to pay Sae any mind, even if anyone were to notice him, it’s not like Sae would give them fan service anyway.
He almost made it to the department store with no incident, until a far too familiar “Sae-chan!” caught him by surprise. For a moment he didn’t want to acknowledge him, but knowing how clingy that guy can get, he turned around to greet him.
“Didn’t expect to see you here.”
Sae said nonchalantly, eyeing the blonde man standing in front of him. Shidou Ryusei was showing way too much skin for a Winter afternoon, besides the maroon scarf tightly wrapped around his neck. It was a gift from Sae the Christmas prior; Sae was at least confident in himself for giving gifts fit for the recipient, unlike some people.
“I heard you just moved so I figure I should check your new place out. Just realised I haven’t got your new address after I landed so it’s lucky we ran into each other.”
Sae didn’t know where to start picking apart his logic, so he gave up before digging too deep into Shidou’s psyche. If it’s Shidou, then anything can make sense. He also noticed the small suitcase Shidou had with him, suggesting he had expected to stay with Sae.
It’s not like Sae can leave him here in the cold like a lost dog now, can he? Just another pair of hands to help carry his purchases. For some reason he can’t explain, since the match they played together, Sae no longer seemed to mind Shidou tagging along and he had again and again found himself back at Sae’s hip.
The two of them spent some time wandering around the department store until they found where the kitchenware was. Sae picked out some basic plates and put them in the cart, then enough utensils for himself and occasional surprise guests. He did some calculations and checked off the items on a mental list.
“Hey, Sae-chan, look what I found!”
Sae followed the voice past a few isles, his annoyance of Shidou being loud in public was quickly subdued after seeing what Shidou had in hand, replaced with confusion.
A velociraptor mug. Who would even want that?
“Wouldn’t it be nice if we get this? Then I can have my own cup at your home.”
Apparently, the target audience is right in front of him. Also, no, Sae was not about to have that resting on his kitchen counter, especially during the times when Shidou wouldn’t be around.
“Absolutely not.”
Shidou pouted at Sae’s answer, looking him in the eyes while putting the mug in the cart anyway. It’s one thing if Sae gifts Shidou the mug, another, unrealistic, thing if that mug becomes part of his kitchen. Sae wondered if his mother felt the same when he and Rin would insist on getting ice cream after every grocery run.
Next to the shelf of single mugs, Sae quickly spotted the mug sets encased into boxes. The ones without much personality and an easy last-minute gift for people you don’t necessarily care about. Bland, boring, tacky logos and slogans.
“How about we get those instead?”
Before Sae realised, he was already playing along with Shidou’s tactics. It’s almost like he wasn’t opposed to the idea of Shidou having his mug at his place but was just bothered by his absurd choice.
Shidou followed Sae gaze towards the shelf. He looked up and down, not really knowing where Sae was pointing at. He decided it would be the ones that made the most sense out of all the unstimulating options.
“The ones that say ‘Gamer Girl’ and ‘Gamer Boy’? Sae-chan's got some interesting taste. I’m calling dips on the neon pink one.”
“What? No, idiot, the ones next to it.”
There was the pair of mugs, the seagull and its birdhouse. Painted in a watercolour style and was neither too obnoxious nor pointless. While Shidou really wanted to put a dinosaur in Sae’s otherwise modern living room, the thought of them being a pair excited him far more.
Anyone who would come to Sae’s apartment would see the couple’s mug and Shidou’s presence would be there to remind them not to try stupid things. It’s one kind of romantic to slowly creep into someone’s daily life.
“They are quite neat.”
Shidou tried the handles as if he cared about functionality when insisting on the velociraptor. After fondling the box for a bit, he put them in the kart. Sae continued to stare him down until he retaliated and put his velociraptor back on the shelf. He will come back for it later; just look how sad those yellow eyes were looking back at him as they moved onto the cushion section.
As soon as they got home, Shidou freed the mugs out of their cardboard jail. There was no spoken agreement, but naturally, Sae got the one with the seagull. The first drink out of the mugs was tap water, but to Shidou, any drink coming out of that mug tasted like nectar.
This sudden flashback reminds Sae that Shidou is supposed to arrive tonight. He taps on his phone to see if there are any unread messages from his devil, but he only finds messages from his manager about new sponsorship offers. The last message from Shidou was his flight details and too many emojis. Sae makes notes of the time and sets an alarm to go to the airport for pickup. He wouldn’t be here until late evening if there’s no delay, Sae gets time.
--
It has been a while since Sae’s last holiday, but then again, he has always spent his off-season the same way every time. Daily training, studying match recordings, non-football related jobs he is forced to take, a day out to relax here and there. With Shidou though, he will drag Sae out of his house whenever it isn’t raining, which is most of the time in Madrid during summer. If it is too hot for football, it means Sae is more likely to sweat. He has always hated that sticky feeling, yet he could barely pay it any mind when he goes on dates with Shidou.
Sae is not sure when they started dating. Matter of fact, when he fell in love with Shidou. Perhaps it was during the U-20 match when he enabled his ego. He was entranced to the point he gave his phone number to Shidou despite his dumb excuse of a hat trick. And he definitely hasn’t scored 10 goals in one match for them to move into a sharehouse, yet they are living with each other whenever they aren’t tied to the country they work in.
That said, Sae better rinse Shidou’s mug before he gets there. He hasn’t touched it since they last parted ways, it’s more than likely there is dust sitting inside. Sae isn’t necessarily vocal about affection, but he does the little things to show how much he cares.
There was another time when he used to rinse a mug for someone else. A long time ago, before he even first stepped into Spain’s border. When he was comparatively easier to approach.
“I want to try what Nii-chan is drinking.”
Rin, who can barely reach the kitchen counter, stood on his tiptoes while pulling onto Sae’s shirt to get a better view of what his brother was seeing. It was during that time Sae first got really into salted kelp tea and established the routine of one cup before bed every day. Like a reward for going through a day.
“Are you sure? It’s a bit bitter.”
Rin looks at Sae with seal eyes that do not yet understand the assault about to be released upon his tastebuds. Sae decided to stop hesitating and let Rin decide for himself if he liked it. If he does, sharing is caring, but if he doesn’t, well, then they will know.
Sae opened the kitchen drawers and took out two mugs. One was shaped like an owl, the other a seagull. They aren’t just patterned, but rather sculpted into simplified images of the birds, which was cute in concept, but Sae felt like he was drinking out of his favourite animal’s head from time to time. Rin, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy this interpretation more.
Their parents had gotten them from a work trip. Perhaps they felt bad about leaving the young brothers alone in a house for days on end, and they often tried to buy their forgiveness through gifts. Sae had never blamed them and neither had Rin, but he would never say, that he knew this meant different to his parents from when he stopped asking for Christmas presents.
Anyway, since the brothers received the mugs, they became their go-to. Whatever mugs they were using beforehand were left gathering dust somewhere deep in the counter drawer. At first, Sae didn’t necessarily appreciate the odd shape and textured handle, but seeing Rin’s face almost being covered by the owl made him decide to entertain this for a little longer.
“I want to match with Nii-chan forever.”
The “forever” that comes out of people’s mouths is only limited to the moment, words like “always” are simply pretty words that are commercialised. It would take Sae another few years to learn that, at that time he had yet to grow into an overly cynical adult. If his little brother wanted to match, why would he deny him of that little joy?
“Yeah, forever.”
To no one’s surprise, Rin spat out the salted kelp tea the moment it hit his tongue, hanging his tongue out like he was trying to air it. Turned out most kids cannot tolerate bitterness. He did make a different face from whenever he accidentally consumed something sour though, that’s a new one.
After making Rin a new cup of hot chocolate, it was almost time for Rin’s favourite time of the day. He sat in front of the TV, watching some superhero show Sae couldn’t remember the name of, while Sae practised dribbling tricks on their playmats. He was careful to put the mugs away from himself so he wouldn’t break them on accident should the slim chances of him losing control of the ball.
Sae remembered hushing Rin to bed after the episode finished and forgetting to wash the mugs that night. He must have done too good of a job putting it out of sight to the point he forgot about it. Or maybe he was also absorbed into the show, but he would never admit it.
Most siblings would fight for the top bunk, but Sae and Rin were smarter than to bother with pointless arguments like that. Sae didn’t care and Rin was fine with whichever Sae picked. Considering Rin’s tendency to hurt himself, it seemed to be the best solution to rest him in the bottom bunk. He can jump off the bed how many times he wants in another universe.
Sometimes Sae would wake up in the middle of the night with a dry throat. That night was not one of those, however, he was quick to fall asleep, and nothing troubled him throughout the night.
The next morning, Sae dragged Rin out of bed, freshened up and headed to the kitchen. It was a holiday, so they were in no rush to school. Their mother was finishing frying some eggs when Rin approached the counter to take out the mugs.
“Mom, where’s Nii-chan’s mug?”
“Oh, Mama broke it accidentally last night. I’m sorry, Sae.”
“It’s alright.”
Sae shrugged as Rin took out his owl mug and a plain glass cup. He took a little step to the fridge to fill the cups with apple juice for him and his brother. Their mother had already made herself a cup of coffee, and Rin wasn’t concerned about her.
Rin kept glancing at Sae while he gulped down his juice as if checking if Sae was discontent with losing Mr. Seagull. Sae, on the other hand, was not at all bothered by such a trivial thing. He would never be the world’s best striker if he was strung up with minor accidents.
From that day onward, Rin would continue to drink from his owl mug, while Sae paid no mind to which mug he used. Just whichever he found the most convenient at the moment, he no longer had a specific mug, nor did he care to have one.
Turns out he fails to keep up his end of their promises with Rin more times than he once thought.
Snapping out of his soon-to-be pitiful monologue and went on to clean his place a little before having to pick Shidou up from the airport. His apartment is already exceptionally spotless; it’s more for him to mentally prepare for a guest. He may not sweat during a full-time football match, but what is guest anticipation if not exhausting.
--
“It’s so nice to be back!”
Shidou exclaims the moment he steps foot into Sae’s apartment, as if he was just on a work trip and finally got the chance to go home. The audacity to imagine Sae as the wife who long awaited his return.
“Any plan for dinner?”
“Not really, eating out or takeouts, your call.”
“How about we hit the supermarket, and I show up what your man can do?”
Honestly, Sae likes that option. Compared to him who couldn’t do anything that’s not football-related, Shidou is a mean chef. And he enjoys working behind a stove, which Sae has no particular interest in.
One grocery trip later, Shidou busies himself in the kitchen while Sae puts away the excessive ingredients they bought for the next few days. It appears Shidou plans to cook the whole time he is here. Not that Sae would complain, it’s so much livelier when he’s around, it’s when this apartment finally feels like home.
It seems like moments later dinner is served. Sae pauses the playback he’s analysing and walks over to the dining table. As it was pretty late when they got home, it’s nothing fancy, yet Shidou’s long travel has not hindered the quality at all. Sae hopes this is not one of the explosive nights Shidou decides to disguise hot sauce in the pasta sauce.
Shidou speaks the whole time they are eating with Sae occasionally nodding and giving short responses. The yapper pays no mind; however, he knows Sae enjoys listening to his blabbers. In fact, if he wanted him to shut up, he would say just that.
Sae takes a sip from his mug, and Shidou mirrors his action unconsciously. They almost put down the matching mugs together on the table, creating a thud in unison.
“Speaking of, when I was at Rinrin’s place last week, he was drinking from this stupidly cute mug shaped like an owl.”
Shidou doesn’t seem to have noticed the brief shock flashing in and out of Sae’s eye. Must be the reflection from the ceiling light.
“I wonder if I have kicked his head too hard that he decides to stop being emo but looking at the owl’s eyes and those damned lower lashes, maybe that mug is meant to be.”
Sae is pretty sure he didn’t see no owl mug in Rin’s kitchen the last time he stayed with him. Should he say he is glad his brother has kept the mug and brought it all the way across the seas? Or does he feel empty because he appears to have misjudged his character?
Once upon a time, Sae could confidently say he knew Rin best. But now that familiarity has long faded, he can’t even logically deduce whether Rin’s sentimentality outweighs his convenience. Well, he is no longer the older brother who looks after Rin every minute of the clock, it’s natural for him to feel at least a little lonely, his neutral stance towards the world isn’t so neutral after all.
He is quick to shake off these pointless judgements towards himself, he shouldn’t be swallowed into self-pity when his boyfriend is observing his every move. He would hate for him to be concerned for something so small.
Brushing off the topic, Sae shiftily leads Shidou to talk about the recent league games, which he couldn’t be happier to share. About his explosions, his goals, and the rewards he expects from Sae.
Nights like this make Sae glad his apartment comes with a dishwasher. Dishes for two and all the utensils Shidou somehow all used are tiring to even look at. As the dishwasher hums in a rhythmic melody, Sae hurries Shidou to the bathroom. He is not about to share a bed with someone who smells like the airport.
When Sae comes out from the shower, Shidou has already put the clean dishes away, speak about efficiency. Originally, Sae had planned to pick a random movie and watch it together, but he finds himself fatigued, probably from his body realising it is in holiday mode.
Shidou, on the other hand, is rather energetic after the hours he rested during his flight. He will play the movie then, Sae thinks to himself. If he falls asleep mid-way, then so be it.
They end up watching a ridiculous rom-com with mostly negative reviews that Shidou wants to see. Maybe it’s the morbid curiosity or how bad it can be, or simply because of his rather interesting taste in entertainment.
Towards the end of the movie, Shidou finally realises Sae hasn’t been responding for the past 20 minutes. He has been talking to himself and taking Sae’s sound breathing as a sign of approval. God knows when Mr. Genius fell asleep, but damn if he doesn’t look so at peace. It’s almost like the edges he presents to the world dissolved along with the hair spray holding up his fringes.
Shidou carefully carries Sae to his bedroom, making sure he won’t accidentally wake him up with any sudden movements. A few times Sae stirs in his arms, but his tiredness has overpowered his usual light sleep. Shidou has even managed to sneak in a goodnight kiss before lying down on his spot next to him.
--
The next few days go how Sae has expected. Starting the day with yoga while Shidou does his weird dance on the balcony, followed by a morning run together. They may train for a few hours afterwards or simply enjoy a sunny day out doing whatever. Chilling at one of the many museums around the block, seeing what the weekend markets have to offer, or simply just Taking a walk to wherever they find themselves. For someone so calculated on the field, Sae barely makes any plans for the holidays. Shidou always has something he wants to do and that’s good enough.
Sae also enjoys having someone sleep next to him, it puts him more at ease than he would admit. Once in a blue moon, he would get a nightmare, but that would never happen when Shidou is there. These are the best sleep he has had in months.
After another home-cooked dinner some days later, Shidou volunteers to wash the dishes since Sae had a minor paper cut earlier that day. There is barely a wound opening, but Sae is going to turn on the dishwasher anyway, he just let Shidou be.
When he is drying his hair in the bedroom, Sae hears a shattering thud. Even with the dryer right at his ears, the sound is sudden and distinct. Putting down the dryer, Sae hastily gets himself to the kitchen.
In front of the sink stands Shidou, who in one hand holds his usual mug, on the other hand, its handle. He looks rather surprised, unknown if it’s due to the mug’s breakage or Sae’s concerned expression.
“Oh, Sae-chan, you done with your shower? Sorry ‘bout the mess.”
“It’s whatever. Don’t cut yourself when you throw it out.”
Another pair of mugs is being separated because someone is not careful enough. He furrows his brows before getting back to his bedroom. Not that Sae would blame Shiodu over this, they just have to get him a new one at the store tomorrow, and he’s praying the velociraptor is permanently out of stock.
Shidou watches as Sae walks away with his half-dried hair, contemplating. His gaze returns to the broken mug when he decides the bin is not where it should go. Setting the pieces aside, he rinses off the bubbles on the remaining dishes.
For now, he is going to spend more time with Sae instead. He can do whatever he has planned after Sae has gone to bed, his bodily clock isn’t as strict as his. And it would be fun to see Sae’s surprised face in the morning, he always pretends to be so nonchalant even when he is shocked.
When Shidou comes out from the shower, Sae is in bed reading. He is the type of guy who consumes non-fiction more than fiction but has the same enthusiasm an avid story reader has. Shidou does not know how someone could look so content reading about psychology and biographies. He much prefers explosive stories that are feel-good reads.
It is soon after that Shidou hears light snoring beside him. Looking up from his phone, he sees Sae’s head nodding in his sleep to the point it looks like the opened book pages are consuming him. After snapping a quiet photo, Shidou places his book on the bedside table and turns off the light.
For someone so serious about his daily schedule, Sae relies on his body when to sleep. Maybe it’s just because he knows Shidou would tuck him in, but since this happens every night Shidou is with him, Shidou likes to imagine this is just the way he is.
Following a swift good night kiss on Sae forehead, Shidou creeps back into the kitchen.
--
Sae’s eyes shoot open in the dead of night. He grabs his phone to see that he has only been sleeping for barely 2 hours, or he assumes since he doesn’t know when exactly he falls asleep.
He reaches for the beside for his cup, which is not there. More than likely, it passed his mind to get it ready since he had been having such good nights of sleep for the week. Clearing his throat, he rises from his bed groggily. Maybe if he doesn’t fully wake up, he can just go back to bed straight after.
To Sae’s surprise, the lights in the living room are still on. His first thought is an intruder and contemplates whether he can win in a physical fight. As a professional athlete, he can probably overpower the average criminal, but he would rather not get hurt in the process. And there’s someone who enjoys beating people up in this apartment with him. Speaking of, where is his demon?
Sae peaks into the living room from the dimly lit corridor. Sitting at the dining table, away from him, is Shidou, who seems to be working on something. Sae hears an ugly scratching and water flowing, piquing his curiosity. Shidou is so engrossed with his handiwork that he fails to notice the footsteps behind him.
“What are you doing?”
Shidou jumps in surprise, something Sae barely sees as nothing seems to phase this man. He feels a bit of pride in being able to achieve such a feat. However, his boyfriend continues to shield his work away from him, immediately diminishing that delight.
“Didn’t expect you to get up so early, Sae-chan. Nothing much to see here.”
“Show me.”
Reluctantly, Shidou holds out his work with a pout. In his hand is the broken mug, now in the process of sanding. Shidou doesn’t have the tool to reattach the handle beautifully, the most he can do is sand off the handle to use it without.
“I was hoping to show you in the morning.”
“Didn’t I tell you to throw it away? We can get a replacement tomorrow.”
“It’s a gift from Sae-chan, there’s no way I’m throwing it out! Besides, I’m plenty careful, I did promise Sae-chan I would be careful, didn’t I?”
Sae is dumbfounded, to say the least. Why would someone care so much about a utensil, simply because he has gifted it to him? He could have just thrown it away like they once did with his childhood seagull mug.
Why would someone go out of their way to appreciate him like this?
Pulling aside a chair silently, Sae sits next to Shidou to watch him work. Shidou takes this as his approval and returns to sanding. For a while, they stay quiet, until Shidou can bear it no more.
“Let’s say, Sae-chan, if I am reborn again after this life, I would be really happy to be incarnated as your mug.”
He says out of the blue, his hands still at work with the sandpaper he found in Sae’s toolbox.
“There got to be better choices than an inanimate object. Aren’t you big about life and whatnot?”
“Think about it. I will get to be part of your daily life until you get bored of me, after that you will put me somewhere deep into your cupboard and forget about me. Then maybe one day you will remember, and you will blow the dust off me, and we can love each other again!”
Sae notices Shidou’s smile while he dreamily blabbers on about a parallel universe where he is super into mugs. Personally, Sae doesn’t see how that would be possible, but Shidou has brought so many miracles to his life that he believes as long as they keep casting spells for each other, anything could be true. Why not entertain him for a little bit since he is in a mellow mood? There may not ever be anyone else who cherishes Sae as much as Shidou does.
“Are you smiling? Sae-chan?”
“I’m just thinking how much of an idiot you are. How are we going to play football together if you are a mug. I will shatter you with one kick.”
“But you love me so much you will glue me back, won’t you?”
Sae runs out of comebacks, but lucky for him, a yawn replaces whatever he is cooking in his mind. He has forgotten what he has gotten out of bed for.
“I will finish up and we can go back to bed, how ‘bout that?”
Sae nods, lazily observing Shidou as he makes sure neither of them would cut their hand while handling his mug. Perhaps neither of them imagined a future like this when they first met, or when they purchased the mugs, but it may also be fate that it is certain they would share this moment with none other than each other.
After a few more yawns from Sae, Shidou finally finishes up the repair. Sae is barely awake at this point, and after debating if he should shake him awake to show him the result, or just let him sleep, Shidou chooses the latter.
He creeps back to the kitchen and places his mug next to Sae’s one. Though one is now missing a handle, it is still undoubtedly from the same set. Shidou takes a moment to admire his work, before once again carrying Sae back to their bed.
On the kitchen counter, the seagull on the mug finally finds its home.
-END-