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Vi felt like she was wearing a shirt two sizes too big. Not literally. She wore literal shirts two sizes too big plenty of the time and never felt uncomfortable. No, this was a social thing.
Ever since the battle and ever since Jinx died, things had been different. For starters, she’d moved straight in with Caitlyn and, while she loved Caitlyn with her whole heart, she didn’t feel like she fit in Piltover.
She was currently laying on a bed of silk sheets, her head resting on the soft pillow and her back resting gently down on a memory foam mattress. Her elbow was tucked under her head, the other arm around Caitlyn, who was snoring quietly. Caitlyn’s hair was fanned out across Vi’s bare chest, her arms looped around Vi’s waist, tickling her stomach with each rise and fall of Caitlyn’s chest.
She was beautiful. Vi couldn’t believe they’d gotten to the point where they’d forgiven each other and were willing to give it a go. She was immensely thankful for it. She couldn’t have loved Caitlyn any more than she did in this moment with the moonlight illuminating her face, relaxed with sleep and gently curved in all its edges.
Vi glanced at the clock. It was three in the morning – hardly the time to wake Caitlyn. Vi picked up her pillow, carefully inserting it in her place. Caitlyn shifted in her sleep, mumbling something and gripping tighter to the pillow. Vi pulled on a t-shirt and slipped away into the night.
She ended up on the roof, watching the near empty streets. There were a few stumbling drunk people laughing and dancing about and a few Enforcers still around, patrolling the streets in their dark blue uniforms with their heads held lower than usual, clearly just as tired as the rest of Piltover.
The sky was a velvety blue, almost black, and the stars were peeking through the clouds like hiding children.
“Vi?”
Vi twisted around, seeing Caitlyn climbing through the window in her lilac nightgown, balancing precariously as she tiptoed across the roof to sit beside Vi. She tucked her knees to her chest, looking up at the sky and then turning to watch Vi, who was looking down at the streets.
“What are you doing out here?” Vi asked, rubbing her shoulder and hugging her legs.
“I could ask you the same question,” Caitlyn said. Vi winced.
“Did I wake you?”
Vi felt a tug of guilt deep in her stomach. She’d really tried her best not to wake Caitlyn. She knew Caitlyn needed her rest and recovery after everything that had happened. She’d been through so much. Vi didn’t know how to help her but she desperately wanted to.
“Let’s just say a pillow is a poor substitute for the real thing,” Caitlyn said with a smile. Vi sighed, tugging at the end of her t-shirt. She hadn’t looked at it when she put it on. It was one of Caitlyn’s.
Caitlyn bumped their shoulders together.
“I like seeing you in my clothes,” she said, faking casualness.
“Horndog,” Vi teased as if she wasn’t just as bad. “Sorry for waking you.”
“What’s wrong?”
Vi tossed her head back and groaned. Caitlyn could always see right through her. It was irritating. It was also probably a good thing. Vi had always needed someone to keep her on her toes.
“Nothing,” Vi said.
Caitlyn raised her eyebrows, tilting her head so that her hair fell over her knees and so that Vi’s eyes met her one. Vi was drawn to Caitlyn’s remaining eye like a moth to flame. It was a beautiful blue, icy and cloudy like Vi’s favourite rainy and cold days rolled into one. She remembered being little and jumping about in puddles, laughing when the breeze tickled her and splashing Powder with water. Powder would squeal and jump around, splashing her right back and laughing when Vi stuck out her tongue at her.
When she’d had her fun, she’d run inside, dragging Powder and Mylo and Claggor with her and Vander would give them all hot chocolate and blankets to warm them up. They’d sit in the basement and talk and throw cushions at each other. Vi didn’t have many happy memories from her childhood – it was plagued with bad ones, scars that would never fade – but those days were her best.
“I feel… a little out of place,” Vi relented eventually. Caitlyn squinted, rubbing her eye.
“What do you mean? You fit in perfectly.”
“Cait,” Vi said and Caitlyn furrowed her brow.
“Maybe not perfectly but you belong here. With me.”
“I’m not saying I don’t belong with you, I love you, but I don’t think I belong here, in Piltover. I’m just not cut out for this.”
Caitlyn faltered, a pang of heartbreak showing on her face. “Do you not want this? Because, Vi, if you don’t want to be here–”
“I do!” Vi insisted quickly, needing to see Caitlyn smile again. “I want to belong here. I just don’t.”
Caitlyn sighed, shaking her head and looking away. Vi kept looking at her, willing her to look back.
“I don’t know what to say. I want to make this work.”
“So do I,” Vi said, reaching for Caitlyn’s hand and taking it in hers, squeezing it. “I mean it. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Caitlyn said, squeezing back. She lifted Vi’s hand to her mouth and kissed her knuckles with the reverence of a saint.
Vi smiled and leaned over to kiss Caitlyn, her hand sliding into Caitlyn’s hair, resting her thumb behind Caitlyn’s ear. Caitlyn kissed her back with fervour, hand on Vi’s neck, pulling her closer. Caitlyn’s lips were cold but so, so soft. Vi pulled back with a soft noise, leaving their foreheads resting together and her eyes closed.
“I’m not giving up,” Vi promised. “I won’t give up on us.”
“Good,” Caitlyn said. “Come back to bed?”
Vi nodded and together they headed inside.
Things weren’t perfect but they were going to be okay.