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In retrospect, ‘I love you’ and ‘I hate you’ weren’t all that different. There was a thin line that separated the two. Tenko still wasn’t sure where that line really was, but she could tell when it had been crossed. It felt like she was standing on that line now, staring between both sides.
It was so hard to go straight from loving someone, to hating them… Watching them cross that line while trying to reach out her hand and pull them back, only to find that she wasn’t able to. Her hand slipped right through them.
While her fall for Himiko had been obvious, both outward and inward, her fall for Tsumugi had been silent and sudden. So much so, she’d barely even noticed it had happened until it practically hit her in the face one day.
Perhaps in the largest irony possible, her realization came from a literal fall.
“Oh- Tenko! I didn’t see you there,” Tsumugi had begun, staring down at her, hands outstretched. “Are you alright?”
“U-Um-! Y-Yeah! Totally alright!” She’d replied, reaching her hand out in return, suddenly feeling - and hearing - the way her heart beat in the ears faster and faster at the touch of Tsumugi’s hands, fingers calloused from working with clothes and yet so smooth at the same time. It was dangerously enticing.
Tenko’s attention hadn’t directly been on Tsumugi, but she was included with the rest of the girls, so she’d been on Tenko’s mind occasionally. Her longing stares were no different from the way she stared at the other girls, too, surely. But, seeing her now, Tenko had to admit she had some respect for Tsumugi. Despite all that had happened, she’d stuck with the group. Her support might have been quieter than others, but it was still there. People always seemed to brush past her, too, but Tenko didn’t think she deserved that.
Maybe she’d fallen a bit too fast, because after that, all she could think about was the way Tsumugi’s glasses framed her face, or the way her hair would look so nice in braids, or what she might look like in the cosplay she had yet to show them.
And maybe after that she got a little excited. She didn’t really follow Tsumugi around per say, but she was always looking for excuses to hang out or places to go. She convinced Tsumugi to show her some of the things she was interested in, even going to watch a few movies and shows that they had in the AV room in the basement. She’d never been particularly interested in cosplay, either, but she still went along with Tsumugi’s tangents and even ended up going to do some with her. Getting to do Tsumugi’s hair was one of the best highlights for her, too.
Even despite all the tragedy, Tenko found herself practically infatuated.
And yet, even more strangely, through it all her best friend hasn’t been Himiko, nor Tsumugi (she was different, after all), but Maki.
Maki Harukawa, who was willing to stay up late at night with her as she talked endlessly about her worries. About her complications with Himiko, her endless hatred for the killing game, how she was going to confess, and so, so much more.
Through it all, Maki listened. She didn’t add much, but that didn’t matter to Tenko, happy to talk.
Even after her secret had been revealed, Tenko didn’t distrust Maki. If anything, it made her more determined to stay by her side. If no one else was going to trust her but those nasty boys (Although, admittedly, out of everyone for Maki to trust, she supposed Shuichi was okay), then she would!
When Tsumugi wasn’t available, they’d hang out. Tenko would invite Maki over and they could have sleepovers all night if they really wanted to. Tenko would insist on doing Maki’s hair or painting her nails while they chatted. Though it mostly ended up being about Tsumugi, because Tenko really couldn’t help herself.
“There is a thin line between love and hate,” Maki had told her one of those nights. At the time, Tenko had ignored it, brushing the words away like dust.
She’d really taken it for granted. After all, how could love equal hate? That didn’t make any sense to her.
Tenko wished she had listened to those words.
The night she confessed was almost like any other. It wasn’t quite cold enough to be considered cold, but not quite warm enough to be comfortable without a jacket or motion. Regardless, the stars still shine brightly in the sky and the flowers falling from the banisters were as pretty as ever. And yet, even as Tsumugi stared upwards at the beautiful flowers and stars, talking about whatever interest she’d been going on about, Tenko couldn’t help but ignore it all, staring only at Tsumugi herself.
Perhaps it had been a split second decision, but before Tenko knew it, she was talking, letting her mouth move before her mind. “I love you,”
Admittedly, Tenko surprised herself as much as she surprised Tsumugi, who turned to her, eyes wide. “W-What?” Her voice was quiet, baffled, almost as she stared.
“I-I’m sorry!” Tenko blurted, face quickly turning red as she scrambled to fix the situation. “I-I just- I was just thinking, and then- I mean- I-”
Tenko barely noticed as Tsumugi’s expression softened, her shock slowly turning to a smile as she reached her hand out, resting it against Tenko’s own, her smile almost sickeningly sweet. “Tenko, I had no idea!” She began slowly, “But it’s okay, really. Because, well… I love you, too, y’know!?”
Now it was Tenko’s turn to be shocked, eyes going wide as her fidgeting slowed to a stop as her brain, too, slowed to take in the words. “R-Really?”
Tsumugi smiled, giving her a reassuring nod. For more than a few moments, Tenko could feel the world fade away around her. “I know it hasn’t been that long, but… Well, in a killing game it doesn’t matter much, does it?”
Silently, Tenko nodded, feeling her breath catch in her throat. It was like an endless number of dreams come true.
Just a few more days and she wouldn’t have had her heart broken in two.
Kaito’s trial went by with hope and despair. It was good to see Kokichi go, Tenko had never liked him. But, to her surprise, she found herself sympathetic for Kaito. Maki had seemed to take a liking towards him, and, perhaps Tenko had respected him - even just a little. She found herself saddened by his passing regardless. Still, she wasn’t sure how to feel by the end of it. Angry, mostly, at the mastermind behind it all making them go through this twisted game. But there was a subsequent hope in her mind, too, as the remainder of them gathered outside, the stars above them shining.
Those were the last few hours that Tenko held onto - the last few memories she would have of Tsumugi before they were tainted permanently.
There was no way she could’ve known that, however, so when the investigation began and they split up, she could only offer Tsumugi a determined grin and a ‘stay safe’ before they split ways.
By the time they’d prepared for the trial, she was so certain that they’d all leave together to freedom. Their small group, yes, but together. No more killing game.
And yet… The mastermind’s identity reveal had hurt her more than anything, really. She couldn’t believe it when Shuichi started accusing her, hesitant, but insistent. She refused to believe it!
“Shuichi!” She exclaimed, “After everything we’ve been through?!” She continued. One of the few males that she was almost willing to call not a degenerate and then-
And then Tsumugi didn’t deny it. She embraced it, even. Her laugh filled the room, not the light fluffy laughter she had gotten so used to in their evening discussions, but an almost evil manic one that increased in intensity.
Her shock and betrayal were unmatched as Tsumugi began her speech about Danganronpa and the killing games… Being the mastermind, everything being fake… Tenko couldn’t believe it.
“No-” She muttered, staring across the trial room. Surely she had to be dreaming. This had to be a trick of some sort.
Seemingly sensing her distress, Tsumugi hummed. “If it means anything to you,” she began slowly, turning her head towards Tenko’s direction with a small smile. “You really did surprise me with that confession, you know. That wasn’t planned.”
“B-But the rest-“ Tenko stammered, barely able to get the words out.
Tsumugi scoffed, flicking her hand dismissively. “Lies.”
Tenko was at a loss for words, her mouth still agape as she struggled to grapple with everything all at once.
“Don’t give me that look,” Tsumugi insisted, giving her an almost pitying look in return. “The fans love a tragic love story! The fans will be happy. Maybe we can even bring you back for a future season! Two fated lovers pulled apart only to find each other again… Doesn’t that sound nice?”
She could only shake her head in return. Surely she had to be dreaming or something. This couldn’t be real. Future seasons? Another killing game? There was no way all of her experiences were lies- That would make Tsumugi barely better than Kokichi! No- scratch that, even worse! And that was just- unbelievable!
“It’s a shame, really,” Tsumugi continued, dragging her fingers along the side of her podium with a long drawn out sigh. “I always thought blue and green looked so good together.”
Tenko, realizing that her mouth was still open, slowly began to speak. “I-” She began slowly, struggling to form the words, “I hate you.”
Tsumugi’s gaze returned to her, her eyes moving slowly, followed by the rest of her head turning. That sly smile reformed, “No you don’t,” she simply replied. With a frown that Tenko could no longer identify as real or fake, she sighed almost longingly. “Perhaps in another life we could have worked something out.”
Pain seemed to shoot through Tenko’s heart at those words as her eyes brimmed with tears that threatened to fall. In another life? Why not this one?
It was so unfortunately true - she didn’t really hate Tsumugi, no matter how hard she told herself. But her heart hurt like it had been betrayed, and that distant feeling of warm love was starting to feel like warm hate instead.
The trial continued.
After that, Tenko didn’t pay much attention, eyes trained mostly on the ground in front of her.
Hope? Despair? By the end of the trial, Tenko realized that she didn’t care anymore.
It wasn’t until the school was collapsing above them that Tenko seemed to regain her thoughts, staring up into the sky as Kiibo blew apart every section of the school. Her eyes stared at the cage imprisoning them, and she didn’t look away, even when Kiibo launched himself into the glass, shattering it and freeing them in the process - for good.
Despite herself and everything that had just transpired, she still found herself turning around, scanning their surroundings for where Tsumugi had been. It did her no good, of course, ultimately finding what was more than likely what remained of her body - nothing but a blood splatter under a massive rock.
Her heart still stung no matter how much she tried to stop it.
Was it wrong of her to wish that Tsumugi hadn’t died? Should she have wanted Tsumugi dead? She wasn’t sure.
A hand gently placed on her shoulder pulled her from her stupor, and when she looked over, she wasn’t particularly surprised to find Maki staring at her, expression soft yet stern. “It’s time to move on,” she urged. “We’re free.”
She sighed, it probably wasn’t worth thinking about anyway, was it? After a long pause, she nodded, slowly turning back to Maki. “I guess so…” She agreed.
The soft blue light behind them seemed to reflect off of Maki’s hair, engulfing her. Not unlike some of her memories of Tsumugi during their late night conversations under the light of the moon. Perhaps it was the nostalgia or maybe her brain was still feeling lovesick, but she suddenly felt that same ache in her heart.
This entire time Maki had been there for her, hadn’t she? Sure, she might not have been particularly verbal about it, but she’d been beside her, guiding her decisions and advising her against or towards things. And she was here now, wasn’t she?
“Maki,” Tenko began softly, her enthusiasm a bit curbed after the last trial and the lack of sleep. “I… Think I was wrong about Tsumugi.”
Maki narrowed her eyes slightly, but still nodded regardless. “You couldn’t have known, but, yes.”
Tenko could feel her face heating up as she forced herself to maintain eye contact with Maki as she continued, “I think it was you that I was in love with the entire time,” she whispered, the confession quiet but almost more honest than her one to Tsumugi had been.
Maki’s eyes widened for just a moment, her face similarly going red before she quickly caught herself, eyes narrowing slightly. She took a few long moments to think before speaking. “You should really take some time to consider this,” she insisted, her words filled with caution as she spoke slowly.
Tenko nodded. She had, she really had this time. She’d had night after night to consider it, she’d just been too distracted to really realize it. “No, you don’t understand- I-I have,” she continued, a bit more insistent this time. “I should have realized sooner!”
With no response from Maki, she continued, a bit faster. “I-I mean it! You’re really cool, Maki! You’re so stoic all the time and- and despite how little you say, you always seem to know what to say with so little! And you’re really strong and cute and-!”
“Okay, I get it,” Maki interrupted, blushing profusely as she glanced off to the side. “Listen, we can talk about this later, alright? Why don’t we get out of here first.”
Slowly, Tenko nodded. That seemed reasonable… She supposed it would take some time before they made anything official or whatever, but at the very least she wasn’t rejected, so that had to mean something, right? Regardless, Maki was still willing to take her hand as they began to make their way towards their escape, following after the others. Strange enough, Tenko had a good feeling about this - the pain in her chest was slowly disappearing, even if just for now.
