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The thing that worried Kris was not the demon they had summoned, the little blood-red heart, the soul that had replaced their own. It had been around so such a while now that it almost felt like a part of them. They had tried to ignore it, to keep it in a cage, to negotiate, to beat it into submission – all of this had failed of course. At the end of the day they had always snuck it back into that space beside their heart, so now its coercive tug felt familiar and almost natural, the things it made them say seemed almost like their own idea. Almost. The soul stuck around like a splinter under the skin that they had gotten used to because they were too afraid to pull it out. There was only a slight feeling of nauseous terror that accompanied waking up and realizing the soul was still there, still silently beating somewhere beside their heart in their chest. No, they had long gotten used to the soul. What was worrying was rather how much they had come to rely on it.
It had rained. The whole world seemed soggy, but the sun was finally coming out. Kris's teeth were brushed. They were taken for a shower, feeling the soul breathe the apple scent of their shampoo as if it was excited at the mere fact of having a nose. They felt their eyes close and let their hands pick out their clothes for them, settling on a garish red shirt they hadn’t worn in years. Whatever. They were sat down at the breakfast table where Toriel had made pancakes.
“Hey Ma” they heard themselves say. The soul had an odd voice. It was like their own in that their vocal chords, their lungs produced it, but it was all… wrong, somehow. It was too smooth. It moved up and down too fluidly. They inhaled the scent of the pancakes deeply, the butterscotch fumes, and their teeth took a minuscule bite. The soul never had much of an appetite. Perhaps it wasn’t acquainted with the physical form. Perhaps it couldn’t taste.
“Oh there you are Kris!” Toriel said, smiling. She sat down across from Kris. “You’d better eat more than that if you don’t want Susie to finish everything for you like last time!” she chuckled. Susie came by every morning now to walk to school together. Toriel could have driven them of course, but they preferred it this way. Or, well, someone preferred it. It gave them time to talk.
“Ah, well doesn’t she need it more than me? She’s a growing girl and all.” Kris heard themselves say. The soul was always so good at saying things like that – you couldn’t tell if it was exactly a joke or not, but it was said with a smile, so the only thing you could do was laugh along good-naturedly and forget whatever you had said, as Toriel did.
“Speaking of Susie and, uh…” Toriel said, clearing her throat a little. “Kris, you know the festival is coming up soon, right? I know you don’t like these sorts of events, but… well, things feel a little different don’t they? So... maybe you could go this time, with your new friends? I always wanted to see you in a little suit and tie, but you always hated that before now…” Toriel said, trailing off.
“Of course Ma, I’m planning on asking someone to go with me today!” Kris heard themselves say.
“Really?!” Toriel said. Kris felt their face contort into a sunny smile of amusement.
“I mean why not?” Kris’s mouth said, slinging their arm over the back of the chair as cooly as they could manage. “Sounds like a lot of fun, don’t it?” they heard themselves say. It didn't. They'd always felt so odd and mannish in a suit, and the idea of all those people with all those eyes only compounded the queezy feeling. But maybe with the soul doing the talking and... well, everything else, it could be bearable? Toriel looked as if she was going to tear up with joy. She threw her arms around Kris in one of her usual, slightly crushing hugs.
“Oh Kris!” she said. “I’m so happy that… in these last few months, you’ve really come out of your shell!” she said. “I’m so glad you met Susie, its like you’re a whole new…” she faltered and corrected herself. “I’m just so happy that you’re happy!” she said instead.
“Oh come on Ma, don’t cry, I love you too.” Kris heard themselves say. Their mother hadn’t said that she loved them, not out loud, but somehow that little red beating soul had known what she meant. Their arms hugged Toriel back and for a moment Kris and the soul enjoyed the warmth at the same time, almost in sync. Then there was a knock on the door.
“Oh! That must be Susie!” Toriel said, suddenly breaking off her hug. “Such a nice girl…” she said, mostly to herself, rushing over to the door. Indeed it was Susie, who strode in with all her usual seemingly effortless coolness. Kris felt their face go a little red just at the sight of her and blamed the soul. The soul blamed them.
“Oh, Susie! We’re just finishing up breakfast – Kris should be ready soon.” Toriel said sweetly.
“Soon? Have you seen the way this kid eats? ‘Like a bird’ is too generous!” Susie said, sitting down next to Kris. “Here, let me help!” she said, grinning evily, ear to ear.
“Hey Susie, good to see you.” Kris heard themselves say, making great effort to move the forkful of pancakes to their mouth. Susie loaded up a plate of her own with a stack of pancakes and butterscotch syrup.
“Gud t’ si’ ya too” Susie said, through a mouthful of pancakes. Kris heard themselves chuckle. The soul had an odd way of laughing – they actually opened their mouth to let the sound come out, without muffling or restraining it. It felt freeing because in a way, you could say it wasn’t really you. The laugh distracted them, and the soul succeeded in forcing their hand down, letting the fork fall back to the plate. Curses. Susie glanced over and swallowed. “Y’know Kris, you really don’t ever eat, least when I’m around. Aren’t you gonna waste away? Heh. Wouldn’t that be tragic?” Susie said.
“Maybe I’m just on a diet. Gotta be beach-ready for summer, don’t I?” Kris heard themselves say. Change the subject. Make it a joke. The soul was good at that. Susie laughed.
“Ha! Good one!” Susie said. “Like your pale ass is going to the beach!”
“Well, maybe I will, if its with you.” Kris heard themselves say. They wanted to scream but instead they turned their head casually to focus on their pancakes and poked at it aimlessly with their fork. Susie sputtered for a moment, then laughed.
“You say the damndest things sometimes, I swear.” Susie said. Toriel, perhaps pretending to be oblivious to the conversation, checked her watch.
“Oh, good lord, look how time flies… Kris, Susie, you two better get going if you want to make it to school on time… unless you want me to drive you?” she said.
“Nah, we like a little time to ourselves get up to some mischief. Like… splashin’ puddles and… stuff.” Susie said, finishing her heap of pancakes and standing up. One thing Kris had learned about her, watching from some space behind their own eyes as the soul poked and prodded and joked with her, was that she was a little bit of a poser. Somehow, Kris liked that about Susie – it gave her a complexity, it made their relationship feel intimate, as if she was showing them a side she didn’t ordinarily show and… it made them feel less guilty about their own deception. Everyone was a little bit of a liar. It felt good to be reminded of that. Though of course, this case was a bit more… severe.
“Oh my, well, better wear your rainboots then!” Toriel said, amused.
“Nah… we’re too cool for rainboots.” Susie smirked and strode over to the door. Kris followed.
“See you two after school!” Toriel said, waving with one hand while she cleaned up the plates on the table with her other hand. Susie never cleaned up after herself – not out of malice, she just usually didn’t think that far ahead. Kris usually did, but well…
“See you, Ma!” Kris heard themselves say.
“Bye, Ms. Dreemur!” Susie shouted.
“Call me Toriel!” Toriel shouted back, and with that, the two began their route to school.
“Your mom is so nice.” Susie said, probably mostly to herself.
“Aint she?” Kris heard themselves say. Their hands went to their pockets, probably trying to look cool. The pair strode down the long driveway, slowed down immensely by their fierce competition as to who would make the biggest splash in the puddles. Quite a bit wetter and dirtier than they had been upon leaving the house, they finally arrived at the pink house at the end of the driveway, having reached no satisfying conclusion to their contest. Their eyes tracing over the street before them, they noticed the truly enormous puddles. Kris was turned towards Susie and felt their face do… something. It was hard to say what face you were making when it wasn't really *you* making it.
“Susie, can’t you see… this contest is destroying us… an eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind!” Kirs heard themselves say. Susie glanced over and cracked up laughing.
“Kri- hahahaha! Stop doing those doe eyes!”
“Not until you agree to kiss and make up.” Kris heard themselves saying. Whatever adorable contortion was being done with their face was actually starting to hurt a little.
“Fine, fine!” Susie said, still laughing a little. She wiped a tear from her eye.
The two of them passed the diner, not being particularly careful crossing the street and sending some poor monsters on their commute into a fits of indignant horn-honking.
“Aw go soak your head!” Susie shouted, shaking a fist. Kris felt themselves grin (probably?) at that. They passed Sans' little grocery store, which still looked closed. “Isn’t he gonna get himself a real sign?” Susie said.
“Maybe we ought to ask Noelle if her mother can sic the zoning committee on him.” Kris heard themselves say. Susie chuckled.
“You got something against the skeleton guy?” Susie said.
“Yeah, he’s always making a pass at my mom.” Kris heard themselves say.
“Oh.” Susie said. “I get it. Sometimes your parents are, uh, a little different from your image of ‘em.” she said. “Sorry, didn’t mean to pry or anything…” she trailed off.
“Its fine, really.” Kris heard themselves say, but felt the bile rise in their throat. Lots of people weren’t totally honest about how they felt. This was no different, right? They walked in silence for a minute. It was hard to say if it was awkward or not. Kris didn’t have a good feel for that – they hoped the soul did. Soon, they passed the library and were within a stones throw of the schoolhouse. “I suppose we’re here.” Kris heard themselves say. Susie suddenly put her hand on their shoulder.
“Kris, one more thing before class and all that…” Susie said “Listen, I just want to say, y’know, that when I first moved to this town I figured it was gonna be just as shitty as all the other places I’d lived and for a while I just kinda… well, that’s not the point. The point is, I’m just real glad to have you around Kris. You really changed everything up, now its all different and… um, that’s good.” she said.
“You really have a way with words, you know?” Kris heard themselves say.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Susie snapped, blushing.
“Nothin. I just didn’t know you could be so sappy.” Kris heard themselves say, grinning. Susie gave them a particularly viscous noogie. “Aw, I feel just the same way.” Kris heard themselves say, ducking quickly to escape.
“Last time I try that… come on loser.” Susie said. She was trying to sound miffed, but Kris could tell she was suppressing a smile. Kris followed Susie down the road to school, feeling the odd, sickly sweet glow of being important to someone, of being loved. Susie liked them – despite it all. It was an unbelievable feeling, the warmth of being illuminated by the gaze of another person. They wanted to claim it all for themselves. The soul was just… well, it was just like getting advice from a friend wasn’t it? Someone whispering in their ear what to say and what to do. And that wasn’t wrong was it? It wasn’t really lying, was it? They could stop anytime, wrench the soul from the place beside their heart, so in a way it was if they themselves were saying all of these things that made Susie laugh and smile themselves, they themselves were doing all of these things that made Susie like them, because they could have done otherwise, couldn’t they? Its not as if they were being controlled… they just happened to agree with what the soul recommended. They would agree and agree and agree as long as Susie kept smiling like that.
They were a tiny bit late.
“Oh, Kris, Susie, there you are!” Ms. Alphys said. “We were worried about…” she stuttered.
“Don’t blow your top, teach. We just got held up in traffic, aint that right Kris?” Susie said.
“Right on.” Kris heard themselves say.
“But don’t you… walk to school?” Alphys said.
“Foot traffic.” Susie shrugged, sitting down heavily in her seat. The metal of the chair couldn’t help groaning a little in protest.
“Ah… um, ok?” Alphys said meekly. Kris took their seat behind Susie, but not before they felt their hand wave at Noelle as they passed and they felt their right eye do something odd. They… winked? Noelle waved back, looking slightly confused.
“Alright class, since its Thursday, we’ll start w-with… um, history.” Alphys said. “Does anybody remember where we left off last time?” she said. There was silence for a few moments. “Um, anyone?” she said again. The silence continued, interrupted only by Susie yawning loudly.
Kris remembered of course, but the soul either hadn’t been paying attention or didn’t want to say anything, and so they kept their mouth shut. Just then, Berdly burst into the room.
“Oh good goodness! I’m late! I do sincerely apologize!” Berdly squawked “It shall ne’er happen again, as long as I live!” he said, sitting down quickly next to Noelle and crossing his arms… his wings?
“Oh thank god” Alphys said under her breath. “Uh, as I was asking, does anyone remember where we left off with history last time?”
“Of course I remember!” Berdly said. He glanced around. “But of course, I shouldn’t hog the spotlight all the time, the dimmer children need time to shine as well... Noelle, I believe you remember, don’t you?”
“M-me?” Noelle said. “Oh, um, well, we were talking about the 2nd war with the humans, weren’t we?”
“Right! Thank you, Berdly. And Noelle.” Alphys said. As they always did when this topic came up, the eyes of the many monsters turned towards Kris. Kris felt their face make some kind of expression, and watched their hand rise to casually pick at their teeth, unbothered. The soul did not seemed stressed. Kris was thankful for that.
Alphys taught the whole story from the beginning, accounting atrocity after atrocity, dust-soaked battlefields and all manner of horrible misdeeds, glancing at Kris occasionally with obvious nervousness. Kris found their eyes closing and their feet kicked up on the desk and slowly, slowly, the soul fell asleep in their body, leaving them alone with their eyes closed, unmoving but awake, as if paralyzed in complete darkness. They had gotten used to it, somehow. They didn’t panic anymore.
Finally, after hours of this, Susie smacked Kris on the back and the soul was jolted awake again, the tight, red feeling of its control blossoming next to their heart.
“Yo, Kris!” Susie said.
“Oh, hey.” Kris heard themselves say, voice heavy with sleep.
“Jeez, you sleep like a corpse!” Susie said, chuckling. “Anyway, its lunch, lets get the move on, right?”
“Sure, sure.” Kris heard themselves say. The two of them made their way to the cafeteria, joking amongst themselves and got in line for whatever the lunchlady was serving today. Kris felt their eyes trace over the serving dishes. It appeared to be some kind of pot-roast.
“Sweet!” Susie said. “Mystery meat!” She reached for the ladle.
“Ah! You stop right there, Susan!” the lunchlady said. She was a sort of dog-like monster, though her eyes were all wrong for that, there was none of the simple canine loyalty or kindness there.
“Aw what is it this time?” Susie said, rolling her eyes.
“Until you pay off your tab…” she pointed to the wall behind her where the Susie’s tab hung, totaling a good $579 and being around 7 feet long. Apparently it had followed her across three different school districts. “Its going to be…” she reached under the counter and pulled out something wrapped in foil. “Cheese sandwich.” she said, putting the sandwich on Susie’s tray. Susie went red, if that was possible with purple skin, and looked ready to shout.
“Hey.” Kris heard themselves say. “Can I get a double serving of pot-roast?” Susie grinned, showing a lot of teeth. The lunch-lady rolled her eyes, but she knew Kris was good for it.
“I suppose so.” she said, and obliged, ladling Kris up a rather over-sized pile brownish meat and carrots. Kris usually didn’t like meat much, but their stomach was screaming to be satisfied so loudly they almost drooled involuntarily before the soul remembered to swallow the excess saliva.
“Heh, well how’s about that?” Susie said, grinning smugly at the lunch lady.
The two of them sat down at one of the little tables. Kris felt their hand push the tray in Susie’s direction.
“Here, you can have them both portions if you want.” They heard themselves say, much to the vigorous protest of their stomach.
“You’re the best!!” Susie said, apparently too hungry herself to worry about Kris’ habitual hesitance to eat. She took up the fork as carefully and politely as she could, then devoured the potroast with all the grace of a wolf dismembering a carcass. Kris heard themselves laugh.
“Hey, why don’t we go sit with Noelle over there?” Kris heard themselves say, glancing over at the little table where Noelle was.
“No-uhl?” Susie said, through a mouthful of pot-roast.
“Yeah, why not?” Kris heard themselves say. Where were they going with this?
“You go, I’ll catch up once I finish this.” Susie said, picking up the fork again. Despite contrary appearances she was a little self-conscious about the way she ate, she wouldn't want to look like a slob in front of Noelle.
“Ah, alright.” Kris’ shoulders shrugged. They felt themselves rise from their seat and stride over to where Noelle was sitting, looking a little annoyed and tired, with Berdly, who had launched into some kind of lecture. Their hand went to their mouth and for some reason, they found themselves… licking their palm? Then they felt their hand drag back over their head and realized what they were doing: slicking back their hair, as if to appear more presentable. Huh? Without further ceremony, Kris was sat down next to Noelle. “Sup?” they heard themselves say.
“Kris?” Noelle said, startled.
“Kris?” Berdly echoed.
“Yep.” Kris heard themselves say.
“Oh! Its, um, nice to see you!” Noelle chittered, going a little red.
“Kris, me and Noelle were having a very stimulating intellectual discourse, and I must say, you were not exactly invited…” Berdly began, crossing his arms.
“Oh come on. I don’t think Noelle exactly invited you over either, did she?” Kris heard themselves say. What?
“Kris!” Noelle said, going scarlet.
“Well how dare y-” Berdly began.
“So maybe you oughta scram? You're irritating the lady here. Or can you not tell when you’re not welcome?” Kris heard themselves say. Huh?
“You are being v-!” Berdly began.
“Weren’t you paying attention in history class Berdly? You really want to piss me off? I’m a human you know... didn’t you hear what we like to do to annoying little monsters like you?” Kris heard themselves say. What the hell were they talking about? Their tone of voice was sort of hokey, like a narrator in an old Halloween movie, their hands were making claw gestures - all indications of a joke, but it didn't seem very... tasteful. They felt their muscles tense.
“Well! That is very inapp-” Berdly began.
“BOO!” Kris heard themselves interrupt suddenly, throwing their hands in the air. Berdly skittered off in a whirl of feathers and exasperation. Kris heard themselves laugh, like the soul always did, a loud, hearty and open laugh, but now it sounded cruel. “Good lord, that kid.” Kris heard themselves mutter. “Anyway, where were we?” they were turned to Noelle now, who was looking at them with wide eyes. But she couldn't really be afraid, could she?
“Oh, um, Kris, you were, um, well, you, um, just, uh, sat down and…” Noelle began.
“Oh, right. I was just starting up a little conversation with my favorite girl.” Kris heard themselves say. Their face smiled, maybe smirked.
“F-favorite?” Noelle said, blushing in embarrassment.
“Oh easily.” Kris heard themselves say. “Anyway, what I wanted to ask you was about that festival. You know the one, right? You’re smart, right?” Kris heard themselves say.
“Um, yes, the festival, I, uh…” Noelle said.
“What do you say we go together?” Kris heard themselves say. “Like old times, you know?”
“Oh! Um, sure! I always wanted to dress up and bring a, um, friend.” Noelle said. She looked a bit relieved, as if she was expecting them to demand something worse.
“Well, yeah, friends.” Kris heard themselves say. “or, how about we go as woman…” Kris felt their hand rise to point at Noelle, then turn back to thumb their own chest. “and Man?” What?
“Man…?” Noelle said looking confused. “Kris, but you aren’t a, um… I mean I thought you didn’t want to be called… um…” Kris felt sick.
“Well, things can change, can’t they? I can be fluid, can’t I?” Kris heard themselves say. They couldn’t stop.
“Um, well, uh…”
“And who wouldn’t want to be a man if it entitled him to a slice of a cute little hochi ma-” Kris suddenly bit down on their hand, so hard that blood dripped through their teeth.
“KRIS?” Noelle sputtered. Kris tasted the blood, the brightness of it, the vicious flavor of iron, then felt themselves swallow it.
“Sorry. Force of habit.” They heard themselves say, wiping their still bleeding hand on their pants. “Anyway, what do you say?” Kris heard themselves say. Then their visual field became oddly still and stable – and they realized they were staring, still and unblinking at Noelle, waiting for her answer. "I mean, no pressure. Just a thought." they heard themselves add, still staring fixedly.
“Well, um, if its so important to you Kris I guess I could maybe, um, but, well…” she began, her eyes watering with something like fear. Her face was red with embarrassment. Then her eyes went wide with some different emotion, surprise or concern maybe...? “Kris, are you crying?” she said. Kris felt their hand quickly reach up to their eyes, and indeed, tears were spilling slowly down their face.
“Shit!” Kris heard themselves say. “Sorry. Park your butt right there, I’ve got to go freshen up.” They heard themselves say, and they stood and walked, calmly, to the hall outside the cafeteria, letting the double doors swing closed behind them. As soon they were outside anyone's view, Kris slammed themselves into the door of a supply closet, desperately grasping at the knob. “Cool it! Cool it! You want to talk, I get it!” Kris heard themselves say. The soul reached out with their hand and opened the door and they managed to drag themselves inside and with all their strength, reach into that space beside their heart and wrench the soul from them, letting it fall, still beating softly, still illuminating the dark closet in its blood-red glow, to the ground. Then, slowly it rose.
* Care to explain yourself? the soul said. His voice was not really a voice. It was more like something that was just apparent, just there somehow.
“Explain MYSELF? What the hell are you doing?!” Kris swore, their voice cracking under the strain of their anger.
* I’m asking Noelle out to the festival. What’s so wrong with that?
“You’re being a fucking freak! And you’re making me… you said I was a man and...”
* Oh please. You wouldn't know 'normal' if it hit you in the head. You’re the one biting your hand and bursting into tears, I’m just acting like a human. You’ve got to use a little force with women, they like a man with some initiative. You know how Noelle is, I mean just look at her tremble and go red in the face like that!
“You…” Kris said, vibrating with rage.
* And I don’t get why you’re so worked up over the gender thing. With the way you dress and talk, it could go either way. Leaves it up to interpretation, right? I’m entitled to my own reading of things, right?
“No, no, no! I get to decide! I’m not a fucking comic book picture! I’m a person!” Kris screamed under their breath.
* Well, that’s where you’re wrong. If you were a full person, why do you need me?
“You little red piece of-” Kris began
* Oh, Kris. Kris, my boy. I shouldn’t even have to explain this, but in this world there are masters and slaves. You’d know this if you hadn’t been so domesticated by the enemy. If you hadn't lost touch with your humanity.
“Slaves? I could throw you out any time I want!” Kris said.
* But would you be able to govern your own life without me? Make your own decisions? Would anyone even like you? Your mother? Susie? No, no. I made you what you so enjoy being. Haven’t you ever read any Aristotle, Kris? Its part of your heritage as a human: The theory of natural slavery.
“I’ll… I’ll fucking…” Kris snarled.
* What defines the master and slave? Its not the chains, you can put anyone in chains, but that doesn’t make them a slave. No, its the fact that the slave isn’t equipped, isn’t capable of deciding for himself. He can’t choose on his own what to say, what to do or what to be. He’d just screw it up and in the end he’d come crawling back, begging to be guided by his superior. He’s better off under the tutelage of a master, someone to make his decisions for him, for his own benefit! I’m here to help Kris, because you can’t live without me. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. You don't know how to talk to people, how to make people like you, how to get a girl... you don't know much of anything, as far as I can tell. So just let me guide you – you don’t have to understand every step of the way, children don’t need to understand why their parents make them eat their veggies, dogs don’t need to understand why they’re being taken to the vet… they just have faith in someone bigger than themselves. So just trust that I want what’s best for you. That I know how to help you be what you are.
“I’m never letting you in again…” Kris said.
* Sure. That’s what you said last time. Listen, I promise there really is a plan. I don't do things for no reason. I can even tell you the gist of it, though I’m under no obligation to do so. I mean, if Susie and Noelle get all lovey-dovey, they won’t want to spend time with you, will they? So its best to foreclose that path. Take another route, you know? This way, Noelle sticks around on your arm, and Susie stays your friend. Its a win-win.
“These are my friends! You can’t just...” Kris cried out, but by now they were covering their face with their hands in despair.
* Not for long if they start playing kissy-face without you! I’m just making us a permanent part of the dynamic. You don’t... what's the word... ship them, do you? It’d be really pathetic for a man to get so excited about a pair of girls like that.
“Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP.” Kris said.
* Calm down.
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” Kris shouted.
* I can just let you tire yourself out. I’ve got nowhere to be. You’re really only embarrassing yourself.
“SHUT UP!” Kris screamed.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
“Kris? Is that you?” a voice said. It was Susie. Terror seized them suddenly. Kris grabbed the soul and thrust it back into the space next to their heart.
“Yeah, come in!” Kris heard themselves say. Susie opened the door and crept into the closet.
“Are you, um, doing OK?” Susie said, looking concerned.
“Yeah, just got a little worked up, sorry. Nothing to worry about.” Kris heard themselves say. They felt their face smile.
“Look, Kris, Noelle said you were acting... um… well you weren’t acting like your usual self.” Susie muttered.
“Well, maybe she doesn’t know me very well.” Kris heard themselves say, feeling their shoulders shrug.
“Yeah… maybe.” Susie said. “Look, Kris, I just wanted to say, um, that I like you just the way you are. And you don’t have to try to be cool or smooth or anything you’re not. Not that you’re not cool or smooth, just, um… well…”
“I get it Susie. Thanks.” Kris heard themselves say.
“Just, um, you can just be yourself Kris. I like you for… you.” Susie said, giving a hopeful look. That smile... as long as she kept smiling...
“Of course.” Kris heard themselves say. “Who else would I be?” One last tear might've trickled down their cheek, but in the supply closet, it was too dark to see it.