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Eddie regrets going to the bar. It's crowded and it smells like cheap beer and sweat. Buck had insisted he go, intent on keeping Eddie from spiraling further down the depressive path he's found himself on since Chris left for Texas.
Eddie's not sure why Buck thinks getting drinks with some of the guys from the pick up league instead of Buck would make him feel better. Eddie would much rather be sitting on his couch right now with Buck than hanging out with guys he barely knows.
He regrets going to the bar even more when Tommy stands up from their table answering the phone with a "Hey Evan" that makes Eddie's insides twist unhappily. Eddie can't understand why Tommy refuses to call him Buck, and moreover he can't understand why Buck lets him get away with it.
Eddie angrily picks at the label on his beer bottle while one of the other guys at the table tells some story about a wildfire up in the northern part of the state last month. Eddie is only half listening, but from what he catches the story isn't all that interesting anyway.
Tommy returns, still on the phone. Eddie can make out Buck's voice from where Tommy holds the phone against his ear. He's unsure if Tommy just has the phone turned up exceptionally loud or if Eddie is just finely tuned to the frequency of Buck's voice. Maybe it's a mix of both.
"Oh, it's okay I forgot you were at the bar right now. Enjoy the time with your friends I'll just get an uber," Eddie can hear Buck's voice through the phone.
"If you're sure, the guys won't mind if I leave after the next round," Tommy seems disinterested with the conversation.
"No, it's fine. Sorry I bothered you. Have a goodnight, Tommy," Eddie can hear the way Buck's voice shakes.
If Tommy can hear it too he's ignoring it, "Goodnight, Evan."
Before Eddie realizes what he's doing he's on his feet, "Is Buck okay?"
Tommy seems surprised that Eddie's even asking, and he has the gall to take a long swing of beer before answering his question, "He was in a minor fender bender. I offered to grab him from the hospital after this round, but he's just going to uber home."
"He's in the hospital, and you're not going to get him right now?" Eddie is already pulling out his phone to see Buck's location. Good, he's at the hospital a couple blocks away.
"There's no reason for me to sit around and wait for him, Evan said he's fine," Tommy shrugs.
"Buck," Eddie over-emphasizes his name in hopes of making Tommy understand, "always says that, but if he called you he wanted you to come get him. He's in the fucking hospital."
Eddie can hear Tommy scoff like he's about to start speaking again but Eddie's already making his way to the door. Eddie ubered to the bar, but the hospital isn't far, it'll be quicker on foot. He gives himself a moment to be thankful he wore his running shoes instead of his boots before he's taking off down the street toward the hospital.
He makes it there in ten minutes. It's a short enough run that he's not completely out of breath by the time he makes it there, but he knows he looks a little crazy by the looks some of the nurses give him. Luckily, one of the nurses recognizes him from the amount of transports they've brought here.
"You're a firefighter with the 118, right?" She asks, motioning for him to follow.
"Yeah, I'm looking for—"
"Buckley, I know. I have to say I'm getting really sick of seeing members of the 118 in my emergency room," from the hard line of her mouth he can tell it's not a joke.
"You and me both," He continues to follow her toward wherever Buck is.
"He said his boyfriend wasn't coming," she gives him a hard glare.
"Not the boyfriend," Eddie hates how much resentment laces into his words.
"Could have fooled me," she quirks an eyebrow at him, "Your not-boyfriend is in the third bed on the left. I'll go see about discharge paperwork."
Eddie doesn't have time to argue with a nurse about his feelings for Buck so he ducks his head and follows her directions to the curtains. There's nowhere to knock even if he wanted to, so he instead sticks his hand in before opening the curtain to reveal Buck.
Buck startles at the motion, clearly not expecting anyone. He's got a cut on his forehead that's been butterfly bandaged and from the way he's slow to move his neck probably some minor whiplash. Eddie has to stop himself from reaching for Buck's face.
"You're supposed to be at the bar," Buck offers as if that's any explanation for not calling Eddie.
"And you're not supposed to be in the hospital," Eddie does his best to keep the hurt out of his tone.
"How did you know?"
"Tommy. He told me he offered to get you after finishing his beer," Eddie can't stop the malice from lacing his words this time.
Buck nods, and Eddie watches as he steels himself trying to push down the obvious hurt he feels. Eddie moves forward to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Someone ran a stop sign and I stopped in time, but got rear ended. I'm not that hurt, I can just uber home," Buck continues to try and downplay the situation.
"Buck, I wish you had called me."
"I wanted you to have a good time tonight. You've been so sad since—"
Buck doesn't say it but Eddie hears it just the same. Since Chris left. Since half of his heart shipped itself off to Texas. Now the other half is sitting in front of him in a hospital bed.
"Buck, I don't care about anybody in that bar. All that matters to me right now is that you're alright," Eddie gives him another once-over, looking for any injuries he might have missed.
"I am, alright, I mean. The jeep might be fucked though, I didn't get a good look before the 133 carted me off to the hospital," Buck sighs.
"We'll handle it," of course Buck's more concerned about his car than his well being.
"I know," Buck deflates even further into himself.
"I gotta say I'm more than a little pissed at Tommy," Eddie feels like he has to bring it up.
"I know, but I told him I was fine."
"After you asked him for help, and he blew you off," Eddie argues.
"He would have come if I really asked, besides I think the whole things over now anyway ," Buck doesn't elaborate but Eddie can tell him running from the bar probably had something to do with it.
Good. Eddie's at his breaking point. He's so sick of seeing Buck settle for less than what he's worth. Buck deserves so much more than Tommy fucking Kinard of all people.
"He's an asshole."
"Eddie—" Buck warns.
"I'm just saying if you had called me and told me you were in the hospital I wouldn't have stopped to have another round of beer."
"If you were in the hospital, I wouldn't have stopped for red lights."
Well there it is, out in the open. A perfect description of Evan Buckley. The kind of man who would give everything to someone, everything to Eddie, and expect nothing in return. The kind of person who wouldn't call Eddie to pick him up from the hospital because he wanted Eddie to have a good night. The kind of person Eddie is completely and totally in love with.
It's not a new concept, Eddie being in love with Buck. That's been true for as long as Eddie's known Buck, even if he's only come to accept it in the last year or so. What is new, is the overwhelming possibility that Buck might love him back.
As more than just partners and best friends. Real storybook love. The kind of love where you don't stop at red lights, where you build a life with them, where you crawl under a firetruck to save them.
Oh.
Maybe, just maybe, Buck loves him too.
The air feels thick with tension. Eddie wants to reach out and say something, but he's not sure he has the words. How do you put into words the overwhelming weight of what they've been running towards for years. How do you describe the moment right before the start of forever?
Eddie doesn't get the chance to even try because that's when the nurse returns, "I convinced them to spring you," she jokes to Buck.
"Shelly, you're an angel sent from heaven," Buck smiles brightly at her.
"Please, stay the fuck out of my emergency room for at least the next six months," she hands him a series of papers and then she's off again, clearly tired of their shit.
"You heard her Buck, let's go and not visit again any time soon," Eddie stands and once Buck is up Eddie places his hand on his back to guide him out of the hospital.
Buck waves to some of the nurses on the way out getting a couple smiles in return. Buck really is here too fucking much. It's only once they're outside the hospital that Eddie realizes the issue.
"I don't have my truck."
"How did you get here, then?" Buck asks, holding back a teasing smile.
"I ran," Eddie answers honestly.
"You ran?" Buck asks breathlessly.
"It's not far, only about half a mile. I didn't bring my truck to the bar, didn't want to have to wait for uber," Eddie should feel sheepish but he can't bring himself to. Just happy he was able to get to Buck in any way possible, "Besides you told me you wouldn't stop at red lights, you really think I wouldn't run for you?"
"What would you have done if it was farther?" Buck asks.
"The 118 is close to the bar, could have grabbed Cap's truck. Hell I'd take the engine if I needed to."
Buck scoffs in disbelief, "Hey, you're not the only one who can steal fire engines," Eddie argues.
"You'd really steal a fire engine for me?" Buck turns to face him, Eddie can see the way his eyes have gone misty.
"When are you going to get it through your head that I'd do anything for you?" Eddie tilts his face slightly to properly look Buck in the eyes.
"Anything?"
"Anything."
Buck's breath hitches and Eddie watches as Buck's face morphs into one of determination, "Kiss me."
It's the easiest thing Buck's ever asked of him.