Work Text:
Uncrossed Thoughts
A/N: So this story is based upon the recent news that Sakho tested positive on the drug test from the Europa league. I have no clue why I wanted to write this but I did so enjoy? Probably not the right word to use but still.
Side note I would like to give a hugeeee thanks to thesecretdetectivecollection (tumblr) for reading and improving this for me before I posted it. She is an awesome person and writes the best Liverpool head canons so go and follow her right now!!!
It was the 22nd of April 2016, the sky was fairly clear and gave way to the sun every so often. The Liverpool team were training before the Newcastle game the next day. It was going to be a rather large game-- Rafael Benitez was coming back to Anfield, after all. But despite the upcoming match, the lads trained as they always did. Serious at first, but when the coaches weren’t looking they’d have a bit of fun with Louis Van Gaal impressions and handstands.
Allen, Skrtel, Sakho, Benteke and Milner were sitting on the green, faux lawn of the Melwood training ground having a quick break when Klopp came out with two men the team were well acquainted with. The laughter of the small group quickly quietened and they gave their attention to their manager. Milner was looking up at Klopp with a hand shielding his eyes from the light. The gaze of his teammates burned into his skin, hotter than the sun.
The two men on either side of Klopp were UEFA official representatives who they all knew from their monthly random drug tests on whatever poor player they wanted to get their hands on. Although, Milner wasn’t entirely sure what they were doing here today.
“Sir.” James said to his manager
“Millie, I hope you’re all enjoying your break.” Klopp replied with a small smirk that they were all used to seeing. With a subtle roll of his eyes, Milner gave a short nod.
“Good. Well we all know who these two are.” Jürgen said whilst gesturing to the two suited men next to him. “Sakho, they want to see you apparently.”
Steadily, the Frenchman got to his feet to follow the drug tester people, (it was Joe Allen’s nickname. Creative fella, that one). “I’ll see you guys later! And Ben, you have to finish telling me about last night when I get back.” Sakho said cheekily as he was escorted off the grounds.
However, despite the bravado, there was a something on the centre backs face. Something that they couldn’t quite place. Nerves, maybe? It was understandable given how formidable the drug testing guys were, acting as though they worked for MI5 or something. But either way, Sakho followed and the three of them eventually walked out of sight.
UNCROSSED THOUGHTS…
Klopp came to a standstill in the doorway of the medical room. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wooden frame, looking down at the Frenchman who was sitting on a hospital bench with his head downcast. They stayed like that for a moment. Sakho couldn’t bring himself to look up, to look up into the face of the man who gave him his biggest chance for Liverpool, the man who could’ve easily taken it all away when Skrtel was back to full health. But he hadn’t, he’d kept his word and continued playing him and then Klopp watched as Mama grew and grew as a player. He never once doubted him even in his darker moments. However this, right here, the look of disappointment he could feel burning into his forehead, it made him realise how royally he’d screwed up. How much he took for granted the chances Klopp gave him, the faith his team had in him to defend their goal all this time.
He heard Klopp move, shuffle in his spot which filled the doorway, fracturing the light that shone through it. He heard his manager open his mouth to speak but nothing came out except a sigh. A few minutes later he found his words though. “Why?” it was a simple question, but Sakho still couldn’t look up to face him. To be honest, he didn’t even know why himself. He hadn’t thought that far ahead, hadn’t realised would’ve interfered with the random drug tests. The drug test that he’d had after the Manchester United game a while back. “Mamadou, look at me.” The manager urged, in a tone that no one at Liverpool could ignore.
So the centre back gave in, he lifted his head up from where it was dangling above his knees and faced his manager. But when he finally looked at Jürgen, he wasn’t met with the anger or hatred he had been expecting. He was met with sadness, pity and just a hint of disappointment. Klopp looked hurt, like he’d been let down. Which in all fairness he had, despite whether it was intentional or not. Suddenly Sakho felt like a little boy again, looking up at his disappointed father, and wished the earth would swallow him up.
The German tried again “Why, Sakho?” He couldn’t speak, as though he’d forgotten how, and so he shrugged lamely and broke the eye contact Klopp had held him in.
“Fine, don’t talk. I’m just confused. About why you didn’t think about the consequences when you took that drug. I have no idea what it is or what the effects are, well other than the ‘fat burning’ part in the name. But all that aside, I just don’t get why. You were doing so well, Mama.” Klopp’s voice held an underlying tone of hurt. Mama just wanted to turn back time and stop it before it could even come to this. “You’ve been picked for the Euros, the LFC fans adore you and the way you are so integrated with them, the BR team are over the moon to see you out on that pitch every week. I gave you this chance because I saw your potential, I saw what a great player you could be and you didn’t prove me wrong once along the way. All you had to do was stay on track. You just had to keep your end of the bargain.”
“I know.” He replied solemnly
“You know? Do you Sakho? You might’ve just thrown your whole career away! A possible four years!”
“I know!” he shouted, the regret and anger clear all over his face. But Klopp wasn’t about to back down. If Sakho really had known what he was doing then he would either tell Jürgen or he was going to have to sit there whilst his manager drilled his mistake into his head so if he did get away with it, it wouldn’t happen again.
“Well it seems to me that you don’t! So you either explain yourself or I’m going to speak!” Klopp shouted back. When Sakho went silent and returned to staring at the floor, the manager took that as his cue to continue. He moved out of the doorway to stand in front of the centre back, he towered above the bench that Sakho was sitting on. Although, when the German did speak, he didn’t shout or lose his temper, he just spoke evenly, as if this situation was no different from one of his many press conferences.
“Do you know how long it would take for you to get back into the first team? If you get the maximum ban, you’d be thirty before they’d even let you set foot on the pitch again. A lot can change in four years, Sakho. Players come and go. Managers come and go. I know how good you are, how hard you work but I might not even be here by the time you get back. This was your chance, your big shot and you went and did this.”
Sakho just shook his head at himself and then place it in his hands, exhaling heavily as if the weight of the world had just fallen onto his shoulders and shattered him.
“Let this be a lesson for you Mama. If you get the minimum ban, then you will have a chance to earn your place back on the first team. But if something like this ever happens again then you are out. Are we clear?” For all his hugs, Mama forgot sometimes how stern Kloppo could be, how commanding.
“Yes, sir.” the Frenchman replied quietly.
“Okay. Well I’m going to break the news to the lads. You are suspended by the club for the time of the investigation. But I expect you to turn up to every game to watch us play.” Sakho just nodded and listened as the footsteps of his manager faded away and the door clicked shut behind him.
What have I done? That was the one thought that circled around in Sakho’s mind.
UNCROSSED THOUGHTS…
It was the end of the training session and Klopp had just reappeared from inside Melwood. He looked a little dishevelled, like he had run his hand through his hair too many times. He called everyone around and they were all quickly silenced by the look their manager wore on his face. “Lads, I’m sorry to tell you this but Sakho won’t be playing tomorrow. He tested positive on the drug test a last month and is now under further investigation. He could face a minimum ban of six months if he is found guilty on any of the charges. But the maximum he’s looking at is four years.” This is when the murmurs started and Klopp had to watch as his team went through the same thing he had when he was told about the results. Eventually Lovren spoke up through the sea of red.
“Did they say what drug it was?” the Croatian asked
“I can’t remember the official name, it was definitely something I can’t pronounce. But it had something to do with fat burning. The stuff in it was classed B so whether or not he knew he was breaking the rules, UEFA are not going to let this slide.” He ran a hand over his tired eyes, his fingertips pushed his glasses up onto his forehead as the manager did so. “Kolo, you will be starting in his place tomorrow.” The centre back gave a short nod before Klopp decided to disband the players so they could go home and process the information about their teammate.
Tomorrow was going to be a long day.
A/N: Well that was sad to write. God knows what possessed me to do it but I needed to get my feels out about the whole thing because I’m still in shock to be honest. I just don’t understand why he did it. Anyway, leave a comment with your thoughts or a kudos. See ya! x