Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Since the day he could form coherent thoughts, Kel was aware that he would always be in second place.

Whether it be in the eyes of his family, friends, teachers or anyone else, Kel knew that he would always be just a few steps behind Hero. He didn’t have the same intelligence, dashing good looks, charm, nor overall raw talent that his brother possessed. Sure, he was okay at some subjects, and it wasn’t like he had distaste for his appearance. In fact, he knew that there were people who found him handsome, as he had once asked Aubrey how attractive he was and she had said “fairly” before smacking him upside the head with Mr. Plantegg. Small victories.

And yet, deep down, he knew that none of those things could ever compare to the status Hero was held at.

Hero had always been the golden child - someone to praise, revere, to take pride in. He was always the best at everything he did, whether it be academics, cooking, or something as menial as a hot dog eating contest. No matter what, Hero was number one. When they were young, Kel couldn’t be bothered about it. He knew it was a fact of the universe that he was destined for greater, less nerdy things in life (in his own words), and didn’t care that his parents took no pride in his baseline scholastic achievements and above average skills when it came to sports.

But, as he grew older, and when tragedy befell his tight knit group of friends, severing their seemingly unbreakable bond, he began to realize how much it really hurt.

_______

The day after Kel’s fourteenth birthday, and few months after the first anniversary of Mari’s suicide, Hero had snapped. Kel’s feeble attempt to rouse him from his depressive state sent something reeling within him, and he dumped out every negative feeling that he’d kept simmering inside of himself out onto Kel, too fueled by fury to think about the repercussions of his actions. On the flip side, Kel had been absolutely terrified. Every word from Hero’s mouth felt like a punch to the gut, slowly tearing away his unknowingly fragile self esteem until he was nothing but a sobbing ball on the floor of their shared room, too guilt stricken to even move. He’d spent the next thirty minutes or so crying so hard he couldn’t breathe. His soft hiccups ricocheted off the walls, and even yet, no one came for him. At least not for a good long while. Hero eventually returned, muttering apologies and attempting to get Kel to so much as look at him, but it was too late. The damage was done. Kel had been made aware of how the world seemingly viewed him.

In the eyes of everyone else, he was nothing but a nuisance. A burden. An annoyance, at very best, and a disgrace otherwise. He didn’t matter.

This fact was only reinforced by his negligent parents. Or at least, their tendency to be negligent when it came to him. On that fateful fall evening, they had done everything in their power to comfort the elder Rodriguez brother. As for the younger? He had been left to his own devices, and not even a word was muttered about his own breakdown the next day. Hero had been the one to try and make things right, as his parents wanted little to do with him. He was an embarrassment to the family, nothing like his brother. Every time Kel thought about it too much, he could feel his face twitch.

However, even through all the hardships Kel’s life had thrown at him, he took them all in a painful stride and refused to show his inner turmoil to others. After all, he had always been such a happy go lucky person as a young boy. Why was there any reason for that to change? A little low self esteem and lack of self worth had never killed anyone, right?

If that was the case, then why had Mari committed suicide?

Thoughts like that began to plague Kel more and more as he ascended from awkward tween to equally as awkward, if not a bit taller and more built teenager. Even with basketball, school and the like to distract himself, Kel still harrowed at the way Mari had died, and spent hours thinking to himself about why she would have done it.

She was perfect, just like Hero. She had no reason to do that to herself. Hell, she had never once shown any signs of being depressed. Was she really just pretending all along? Pretending to be happy, stringing everyone along until it was too much to handle, and she cracked under the pressure?

The story he was building inside his mind felt all too familiar. Kel shook away the feeling every time, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t be rid of the way his mind whispered to him that he felt the same way, but just hadn’t reached the end of his fuse quite yet. That he was a ticking time bomb, shoving down every negative emotion he ever felt in favor of being the cheery friend that everyone could depend on, since there was no way he could ever be as perfect as Hero.

And then the truth came out.

_______

The summer before Kel was to turn seventeen, Sunny finally left his house. Kel himself had been the reason why - seeing the moving sign in his friend's front yard after years of radio silence brought him amounts of emotional pain he didn’t know what to do with, so like always, he swallowed it all back down and decided a plan of action. Something to do to make himself forget how much it hurt.

After some inner conflict, he had decided that trying to get Sunny to come outside would be his best course of action. After all, seeing the one friend he had basically lost along with Mari could serve as a good distraction for how much he had bottled up, and Sunny could probably use for some sunlight.

Three days before Sunny was scheduled to leave Faraway Town forever, Kel found himself pounding on the door of the dim Suzuki household, desperately attempting to get their now only child to come to the door. Much to his surprise and delight, it had actually worked. Sunny opened the door with some hesitance, his usual cliff faced expression having grown tenfold more stoic, making it even more impossible to read his emotions than it had been when they were young.

The next few days were an emotionally exhausting blur, ending with a bloodbath that no one could have seen coming. Part of Kel couldn’t help but blame himself as he watched Sunny and Basil be loaded into the ambulance, both beaten half to hell, Sunny just barely clinging on to life as the sirens wailed away into the dark night. His shoulders shook, and tears threatened to spill from his tired eyes, but upon seeing how utterly destroyed both Aubrey and Hero looked, he choked down his feelings, swallowed his pride, and tried not to show how terrified he was. If he wasn’t there to cheer them up, then who else would be?

It didn’t matter that the image of Sunny writhing on the ground, blood flowing endlessly from his lacerated eye, making horrifying noises of pure anguish was now imprinted in his slowly crumbling mind. It didn’t matter that he had held Sunny in his arms as Aubrey called 911, watching in terror as Hero did his best to subdue the bleeding. It didn’t matter that he felt completely helpless to save either of his two friends.

Blood still coated Kel’s clothing as the remaining teens silently watched as the blaring blue and red lights faded from view. He vomited into the bushes when he thought that no one was looking.
_______

The confession of the following morning affected Kel much more than he would ever tell anyone.

As Sunny poured his heart out to his friends, sparing no details and leaving nothing unsaid, Kel could feel his very world turn upside down. Mari hadn’t committed suicide. Hero had spent all that time blaming himself for nothing. He himself had spent countless hours overthinking her motives and finding shocking comparisons to his own experiences for no reason. As the others processed every word that hung heavy in the air, Kel felt his mind begin swimming. His thoughts danced around the fact that he had really just been projecting everything he’d bottled up on to someone who had assumedly done the very thing he was beginning to think more and more about every passing day.

Only she hadn’t done it. She was killed, and by her own little brother nonetheless.

Aubrey was seeing red, and Hero was too dumbfounded to speak. Meanwhile, Kel’s body seemed to act on its own, and he glided through the tension-filled room over to Sunny, wrapping the shaking and broken boy with a warm embrace. It was the only thing he could think to do, as the shock from the truth combined with his own personal revelation was a bit too much too fast. He wasn’t sure if the hug was for Sunny’s comfort, or for his own.

Surprisingly, Aubrey seemed to have a moment of clarity, and quickly dropped down to join them as well, followed by Hero. Sunny sobbed violently into Kel’s shoulder as the group embraced him, and in that moment, Kel decided whatever it was he was feeling about the true nature of the situation didn’t matter. His feelings were unimportant, especially with how obviously distraught both Sunny and Basil were. He could collect himself later. Or, better yet, he could bottle it up and hide it away with the rest of his problems in order to give his full support to his broken friends.

Yeah, that was what he would do.

_______

As the blustery heat of summer faded away into fall, and cool fall days all but disappeared into the chilly winds of winter, Kel could feel himself slipping even further.

It wasn’t like he would ever admit that aloud, of course.

Once Sunny had left Faraway for what was to be forever, save for occasional visits to his friends, Kel came to the decision that no matter what happened, he was never going to let his mask crack again. He had been too emotional the night Sunny was hurt, and he had been too vulnerable in the morning after. In fact, he’d let himself be hurt enough that both Hero and Aubrey had asked how he was doing (although that little voice in his head told him they were likely just checking in with him because of what had happened, nothing more. It wasn’t like they really cared about him.) Never again was he going to let that happen.

Dark days grew darker. The sun began setting earlier in the evening, bringing night upon the world much sooner than any normal person would like. But not Kel. Not anymore. Instead of staying up way too late playing video games like he had in times past, he now retired with the sun, often skipping meals in order to sleep everything away. Sometimes, he wondered if this was how Sunny felt in those four years he spent alone.

When questioned, Kel blamed it on basketball; “I’m just tired from practice today!” He’d say, voice straining ever so slightly. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”

That was a lie. One particularly frigid December school day, Kel had watched as rain poured outside the window, and decided he was too emotionally drained for practice that afternoon. He skipped. After that, it became habitual to not go on off days, and he tried to ignore the fact that now, he was having more off days than normal ones.

But that was okay. Kel was okay with the fact that he constantly felt too bogged down to do anything of importance. He was okay with the fact that his already bad grades were slipping even further. He was okay with the fact that Aubrey always gave him weird looks when they hung out together. He was okay with being completely left alone with the terrors that had grown within his own mind, whispering to him about unspeakable things. He was okay with how often he now thought about how good it would feel to hurt himself.

Everything was okay. It had to be, because if it wasn’t, Kel wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

_______

Kel stared down at his arm in the darkness of he and Hero’s shared room, breathing shallowly as silent tears threatened to spill down his tired face.

What in the hell had he just done?

Hero was back in college until the spring, and he had just felt so alone and helpless and it all just hurt so much. Too much for him to handle. The inky blackness of his room seemed to swirl around him, wrapping its long, coiling tendrils around his heart and hollowing it out from the inside. He was so numb that it scared him. He didn’t know what else to do, and the once small voice inside his head that he could ignore just as easily as his feelings had taken over any rational thinking that remained.

”Just once.” It whispered. ”No one will ever know if you do it just once. It’ll feel good, I promise. Relieve a little stress.

So he did.

One stray tear managed to slip out of Kel’s weary eyes as he watched blood pool to the surface. His wounds stung in the open air, but the monster inside his mind was right. The pain felt good. It did relieve a little stress.

And besides, Kel had felt like he deserved to hurt for a long time. He hadn’t been there for his friends, and he was no gifted golden child like Hero. Burdens deserved everything that came to them.

No one noticed when Kel started wearing hoodies to school every day.

_______

“Hey, dingus.”

While walking home from school one day, Kel whirled around in surprise at the sound of an insult, only to be met with the familiar face of Aubrey. She was wearing an unreadable expression, her eyes full of conviction. His stomach churned, but he cracked a signature Kel smile and ignored that there was absolutely no feeling behind it.

“Aubrey! Man, I just saw you during last period! What, was being my lab partner not enough?” Kel teased her playfully, but it was almost painfully obvious that it was lacking any real joy. Aubrey didn’t seem convinced either, and Kel’s forced smile faltered.

“I wanna talk to you about something. You’re coming with me.”

“But- I’m almost home-”

Aubrey let out an exasperated sigh and pinched Kel’s ear, dragging him backwards. He let out a cry of alarm.

“No way out of it.” She exclaimed, and that was that. Kel didn’t have enough energy to fight back anyways.

Soon, they arrived at the hangout spot their once inseparable group of friends had used to play on on endless summer days. The constant pit in Kel’s stomach seemed to grow just a little more as the pair sat down next to one another on Mari’s faded old blanket. Aubrey stared holes into him.

“So… what’s up?” He questioned awkwardly.

“...”

“Aubrey…?”

“I’m gonna be blunt. You’ve been acting a lot like Basil used to lately. Shit, man, even he doesn’t really act this mopey anymore. The hell is goin’ on with you, dude? You know you can tell me anything.”

Kel swallowed, hard. His hands began to clam up.

“H-hah, like Basil? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What, do you need me to spell it out for you? You’ve always been such a numbskull-” Aubrey cut herself off mid sentence, sensing the way Kel’s shoulders drooped ever so slightly without actually having to see it. “Sorry.”

“Nah, you’re fine. I have always been a numbskull.”

“Shut up and let me finish.” Aubrey sneered, although it wasn’t malicious. “You’ve just been so… I dunno. Weird lately. I don’t see you in the gym after school anymore, and you don’t leave your house to come bother me and the hooligans as much either. Hell, I can’t remember the last time me, you and Basil all just… hung out. Not to mention those boring ass hoodies. I hate to say it, but I kinda miss your flashy basketball clothes.”

As much as Kel wished he could laugh at that last comment, something else had overtaken all his senses, quickly diminishing the fleeting joy from inside him, and instead replacing it with pure, unadulterated dread. Without even realizing it, Kel’s eyes began to flit around nervously, and he was chewing his lower lip between his teeth. Aubrey’s eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“C’mon, Kel… I told you can talk to me about anything. Are you doing okay?”

Kel could do little to hold back the flood of tears that burst to the surface as soon as she asked that simple question.

No one had asked him that so genuinely in a long time, let alone gone out of their way to personally offer themselves as a shoulder to cry on. Sure, Hero might have, but he was still away, and was always busy when he was actually home. Just the gesture itself had been overwhelming, but this? This was the straw to break the camel's back. Loud, guttural sobs escaped Kel’s throat, each one more broken than the last as he practically threw himself at Aubrey, desperate for some form of physical comfort. Through mumbled, sniveling words that were often interrupted by soft, cracked wails, Kel explained everything.

He explained how he had been putting aside his feelings since Mari had died, ignoring the grief he carried in order to keep up his normal cheerful behavior as a coping mechanism. How his self esteem had tanked in middle school, and how he felt as if he wasn’t the happy go lucky friend, he had no purpose. How he was never good enough for his own family to love him, so how could he be good enough for anything else? How he was constantly in a state of limbo, floating endlessly in his sea of self loathing. How he only wore hoodies now because he didn’t want other people to see the scars he thought he deserved.

Aubrey said nothing as his tears soaked the shoulder of her letterman jacket, merely wrapping her arms around her shaking friend and using a free hand to stroke his hair comfortingly. She had never done that before. Kel didn’t know whether to appreciate the gesture or to cry harder.

When he finally came to his senses again and sat up, eyes red and puffy from finally spilling out multiple years worth pent up feelings, she took one of his hands in hers and squeezed it. He couldn’t bear to meet her gaze.

“Kel, I’m… so sorry.”

He shrugged. “S’ fine. It isn’t like you’re responsible for my feelings or anything, heh.”

“No, but… you’ve been hurting for years, and I was being too much of a fucking knucklehead to notice. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that alone. It was selfish of me to think you just didn’t care.”

“Seriously, Aubs, it’s okay. I’ll be okay.”

From his peripheral vision, Kel could see Aubrey apprehensively glance down at Kel’s wrists, before quickly reverting her attention. His heart panged within his chest.

“I dunno if I believe that, but… ugh, I am so not good at this. Just. No matter what, I’ll be here for you, kay? Hero was right, you know. With what he said last summer. I’m not making the mistake of leaving anyone alone again. That includes you, nerd.”

Kel swallowed and nodded, before Aubrey quickly pulled him in for another hug. He cried again, although for less time, as he had dried up most of his tears merely a few minutes prior.

But that was okay. Genuinely, really okay. Because for the very first time since Sunny left, Kel felt a real, genuine sense of hope. Just a glimmer, as small as a speck of dust, but he felt it. Maybe things would turn out alright in the end.

_______

March twenty third, five a.m. on the dot. Kel’s phone buzzed, and as he scooped it off his night table, he stole a glance at the opposing side of the room. Hero was sleeping soundly in his bed, having returned from college for spring break earlier in the day. Kel looked back to the device in his hand, squinting as he was blinded by the light from the screen. There was merely one notification - a text from Aubrey. Curious, he slid open the message.

From: aubrey bo bobrey

Hey, nerd. You’re probably passed out cold right now, but I really couldn’t wait to text you. You’re gonna fucking kill me for this, but… I ran away. Left a few hours ago. I’m so beyond sorry, dude. I just couldn’t handle being around the abusive piece of human garbage that calls itself my mom any longer. That wasn’t my home. My home has always been with you guys, and with the hooligans. But don’t worry, I’m not alone! Kim and I are together. Her home life was never good either. We’re gonna try and find a place to stay, maybe actually make something of ourselves in this fucked up world. Please don’t be too mad at me. I know I promised you a couple months back I’d never leave you alone again, and I meant that, with every fiber of my heart. You’ve got my number. As soon as me and Kim find somewhere to land, I'll give you the address. Don’t tell Hero, though. Anyone but Hero. Don’t want him having a premature heart attack knowing I’m living alone with my girlfriend before I’m even eighteen, haha. He has grown up a lot, though, so who knows.

Man, I totally just rambled like a fucking idiot. But whatever. Just know no matter where I am, I've always got everyone's backs, okay? Especially yours. You mean a lot to me, you smelly nerd. Take care, Kel. Text me as soon as you can.

Kel felt his entire body go ice cold, and as he slammed his phone face down on his nightstand, shattering the screen, it took all the strength within himself to not scream as loud as his vocal cords would allow.

The noise did wake Hero, though, and when he questioned what was going on, Kel let out a small, pained wail, which quickly dissolved into a breakdown just like with Aubrey. Without even a thought, he spilled his guts to his brother.

Hero knew everything now. There was no telling what would happen next.

_______

Kel couldn’t take it anymore. He’d lost everything.

As soon as Aubrey disappeared, something within him broke beyond repair.

Hero had freaked out as soon as he found out about Kel’s less than healthy coping mechanism, and immediately told their parents the following morning, who took their sweet sweet time in reprimanding the youngest of the two brothers for “being such an irresponsible young man who never told them anything.”

Instead of seeing something was truly wrong, and agreeing to get Kel the help he so desperately needed, they decided fair punishment for his “transgression” was refusing to replace his phone. Kel had no way to contact Aubrey now, and no way to text Sunny either. Hero, feeling guilty that he was the catalyst to set the day's sequence of events into motion, offered to buy Kel a new phone himself. He had the resources to pay for it, after all. Kel refused.

He wouldn’t need one anymore, anyways. He had made his choice as soon as he’d read Aubrey’s message.

_______

As afternoon progressed into evening, Kel was left alone in the house, much to Hero’s concern. He had wanted to stay behind with Kel to watch over him, and see if he could really get him to just talk, but he had no way of getting out of work, as he was lucky enough that Fix-It was understanding about his college situation and always let him work on break, at the cost of all his free time. Reluctantly, Hero eventually left the house after hugging Kel much harder and for much longer than he usually did. Kel felt nothing the whole time.

Their parents, on the other hand, seemed just fine with the concept of Kel being alone, even after his suicidal ideation came to light. They brushed it off, just like they did with everything related to him, and left for their respective evening commitments. It was fine. Kel wanted to be alone for what he planned to do anyways.

After working up the strength to get out of bed, Kel let the monstrous voice inside his head guide him. There were plenty of options, but he felt like he deserved to die a painful death.

The door to the bathroom creaked open.

_______

Kel stared with an empty gaze into the running water of the bathtub. If it had been Hero wanting to do something so drastic, his parents surely would have gotten him emergency support and a therapist without even blinking. Kel felt something within his gut twist.

The water was warm as he sunk into it, feeling as the heat spread over his entire body. It was strange to be fully clothed in a bathtub, but it also offered an oddly comforting sense on top of the numbness that filled his body. That was okay, though. It would all be over soon, and he could forget that awful numbness, alongside everything else.

_______

It hurt. It hurt so badly. Kel stared up at the bright white lights in their fixed places on the ceiling, vision going in doubles. He wondered if his funeral would be a closed or open casket. He wondered if anyone would come. He wondered if there would even be a funeral, or if his parents would be too ashamed of his selfish act to even hold one.

Though, no matter what happened, it didn’t really matter in the end. It wasn’t like he’d be there to see it.

Kel could feel it as his heartbeat slowed within his chest, and the ceiling grew faded and blurry. As he slipped from consciousness, he swore he heard the door creak open, followed by the familiar scream of the only person in his family that ever truly cared for him.

But it was fine. Kel would finally be free. Soon, everything was going to be okay for good.

Chapter Text

Hero had never wanted to be treated differently.

As a young boy, he knew his parents saw more promise in him than his younger brother, and even when he was still a child, it never sat right with him. He didn’t like the way that they ignored Kel’s achievements to favor his own, and he didn’t like the way they sometimes pretended Kel wasn’t even there - they would constantly talk up their eldest son to their friends, and when asked about the youngest, they would brush him off almost entirely. Hero had always wanted to speak up about it, but he had been a pushover since day one, and stuck to silently worrying to himself about Kel’s well being like he did with so many other things.

When they were just kids, Kel was very vocal about how little it bothered him. He had sports, and comics, and his very best friends to keep him company. In his own words, he didn’t need his parents' approval to be the coolest kid there was. Back then, Hero had taken his word for it.

But as they grew up, things became different.

Mari passed away in the first week of his sophomore year of high school. Hero was absolutely devastated - he couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed, let alone take care of his own basic needs, like eating, drinking or even showering. He was just so heartbroken. Heartbroken to the point that he had exploded on Kel, tearing him a new one as he screamed about how Kel didn’t care, and how he was useless and a liar when he said he missed Mari. Each word that fell from his mouth got more and more aggressive, until Hero was spouting things that he never once in his life would ever mean. By the time he was done, Kel was a sobbing mess on the floor. Hero was no better.

Almost as soon as the yelling had stopped, the brothers parents barged in and took in the scene before them. Instead of doing their best to comfort both boys, they immediately made a beeline for their golden child, leading him out of the room, arms wrapped comfortingly around his shoulders. Hero’s mother soothed him with soft touches and gentle words, calming him back down as they sat on the couch in the living room together. His father draped a blanket over him before ducking into the kitchen to make everyone some tea. It was only when the mug was in his hands that Hero really realized the gravity of the things he’d said to Kel, and immediately shook off his parents to make sure that he was alright. When he arrived, it was plain and clear that Kel was not okay. Hero did his very best to console him, but it was for naught. Kel wouldn’t even look him in the eyes.

It was at that moment that Hero decided he wasn’t going to wallow in his sorrows anymore. Kel needed him, and he needed Kel. He couldn’t be consumed by grief - that was no way to live.

Weeks after the argument, when both boys were in a seemingly better place, Hero decided to ask Kel if he really was okay, and reiterated how awful he felt about the nasty things he’d said. Kel shrugged it off. He said he forgave him, and that it was just water under the bridge. They were moving on.

As Kel spoke, Hero looked him in the eyes, and felt a pit in his stomach. He didn’t know why, but he felt like Kel was lying. But he didn’t push it. After all, he didn’t want to stir the pot anymore than he already had.

_______

Four years went by before Hero could seem to take notice. Each and every season that passed felt like one in the same, and as summer once again graced Faraway Town, Hero returned from his first year at medical school. It had been incredibly gruelling and stressful at times, but Hero was thankful to get some time away. As much as he loved his family, they could all be a bit much at times. Especially Kel. He loved that kid, but his energy was boundless, and most of the time, Hero couldn’t seem to keep up with him.

However, his first day back was nothing like he had expected it would be. Instead of being greeted at the door by a bear hug from Kel, or being bombarded by questions from both of his parents, he was met with silence. Not even his baby sister, Sally, could be heard sleeping soundly upstairs. It appeared that no one was home. That was all well and good, although as he dragged his bags upstairs and settled back into he and Kel’s shared space, he couldn’t help but feel as if something was off. There was no note from his parents, nor prior indication that he would return to an empty house. Just what was going on?

A quiet ping from Hero’s phone quickly answered that question.

As he scanned the message, Hero felt his heart rate pick up speed.

From: Kelsey

hey bro i dunno if youre home yet or anything but if u are plsplspls hurry 2 faraway park its an emergency. aubrey is here and shes going nutso

Hero shot back a quick confirmation that he was on his way, and once again felt his phone buzz as he sprinted down the stairs and out the front door. Glancing down out of the corner of his eye, Hero read the message. His pace only increased.

From: Kelsey

oh thank god pls come quick

From: Kelsey

holyshit aubrey pushed basil into the lake hurry

By the time he had read the contents of the third message, Hero was tearing through the bushes that concealed their old hideout, tossing his phone on the ground and taking a nose dive off the dock and into the murky waters below. He hadn’t even bothered to so much as look at Kel or Aubrey. There was no time to waste. Basil was in danger.

Cold water swamped Hero’s entire body as he swam downwards, looking desperately with blurry vision for the sinking boy. A familiar shock of blonde hair caught his eye almost instantly, and he yanked Basil into his grasp, preparing himself to kick upwards. It was only then that he noticed Basil wasn’t alone down there. A pale and familiar hand grasped weakly at Hero’s ankles and he looked down in shock, eyes meeting with those of a boy he was sure he was never going to see again.

Sunny was down there. Sunny, who may as well have died right along with Mari, as no one saw him again after her funeral. Sunny, who was terrified of life itself without his sister.

Sunny, who had never learned how to swim.

Hero was running out of breath as he shifted Basil over his shoulder and yanked Sunny upwards with as much force as he could, pulling the boy under his free arm before kicking violently. The surface of the water was just barely within reach. Light swirled above Hero’s head as he gave one final, powerful kick upwards, breaching the surface and letting out a loud gasp. Kel quickly cut off his argument with Aubrey, running to meet Hero at the shore and pull Basil out while he got to his feet and dragged Sunny to freedom, veins still pumping with adrenaline.

Hero had been home for all of thirty minutes and already knew that he was going to get much more than he bargained for this summer.

This fact was only reinforced as the day came to a close, and morning once again returned. Inside Sunny’s house (and to no one’s surprise), Hero was the first to awaken. In order to distract himself from the confusion of the prior evening, he decided to do Sunny’s incomplete chores for him, as well as make breakfast for everyone. He couldn’t help but feel bad for the poor boy as he organized all of Sunny’s old belongings - he was only twelve years old when his childhood was violently ripped away from him. Hero had been lucky to be old enough to really be able to understand what had happened. Sunny hadn’t been awarded that luxury.

About an hour into his cleaning excursion, Hero was met with the familiar and sleepy face of his younger brother, who had clearly just dragged himself out of the pillow fort they’d built. Hero’s stomach felt funny. Obviously Kel had just awoken, so he was bound to look tired, but something just felt off about his expression. His eyes looked bleaker than normal, and he carried the aura of someone who hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a long, long time. Nonetheless, Hero cracked a smile at Kel, who returned it wearily. He was probably just overthinking everything; it had been a long day yesterday, and the day ahead was bound to be even longer.

There was a lot of cleaning up (both literally and figuratively) to be done.

_______

There Mari sat, jet black hair flowing in the wind, a white satin dress on her body. She was shoeless, and sitting in an endless field of white orchids. In her hands was a flower crown. Hero watched from a distance as she turned around and waved, beckoning him to join her. He smiled back, taking one step forward-

-Before being forcefully jolted from his heavenly dream by a loud, blood curdling scream. Hero sat bolt upright on the floor, followed by Kel and Aubrey, who quickly scrambled from their positions at the commotion. Someone had screamed from inside Basil’s room.

The group of three were quick to make it to the back of the house, Hero motioning for the younger two kids to stand behind him. Whatever was going on inside couldn’t be pretty, and he wanted to make sure that he was the first to see it. If the scene was as horrifying as the scream released from inside, he didn’t know if he wanted either of them to ever see what the problem was.

Fate had other plans.

Writhing on the floor in what Hero could only assume was absolute agony was Sunny, clutching his right eye as it bled profusely all over the floor. He was choking out anguished and pain ridden sobs as Basil pinned him down, blue eyes full of manic terror and shaking hands squeezing a pair of bloodied garden shears. Hero thought he was going to be sick, but swallowed down the bile that rose to his throat in order to take action, much akin to the way he had during the lake incident. Without a second thought, he lunged for Basil, tackling him off Sunny and pinning him to the ground as Aubrey and Kel dashed in behind him.

”Holy shit-”

“Hero, what- what the fuck-”

Hero looked up at the mention of his name, still pinning Basil to the ground. Kel had dropped to his knees next to Sunny, and Aubrey was still in the doorway, terror filling her artificially turquoise eyes.

“Aubrey, go!” Hero hollered, feeling as Basil stopped struggling underneath him. “Call 911!”

She swallowed hard and nodded, sprinting out of the room, only to be instead replaced by a petrified looking Polly. She watched as Hero released Basil from his hold, too fear stricken to even move. That was fine. Hero couldn’t begin to understand how she had to be feeling right then. Polly had explained to him earlier in the night how she was barely older than himself; she was just a college student trying to figure out how to help Basil best. Now this was what she had to deal with. It was rather heartbreaking.

“The ambulance is on its way!”

Hearing Aubrey’s voice call out from the other room startled Hero from his daze, and he quickly scrambled from his kneeling position to help stop Sunny’s wound from bleeding. By now, Basil had lost consciousness, and Kel had pulled Sunny into his lap, eyes wide with fear and cheeks stained with fresh tears. He was mumbling something under his breath, but Hero couldn’t really understand it. Instead, he turned to Polly, a desperate expression on his face.

“Polly, can you get me a towel, or a sheet, or just- something to stop the bleeding. Please.”

“O-oh, of course, yes! J-just- just a moment.” She breathed, voice shaking.

It was only then that Hero really took a good look at Kel again, and realized how thoroughly disturbed his brother looked. He didn’t think he’d ever seen him look so horror-stricken and helpless before.

“H-hey, Kel?” Hero stammered out. Kel looked at him, but something swirling behind his eyes made it clear that he wasn’t really all there in that moment.

“Everything is gonna be okay… I think.”

Hero forced a small reassuring smile, although he was sure it was more akin to a grimace. Kel didn’t return it. He couldn’t blame him for that.

Another five or so minutes passed of agonizing panic. Sunny was still in Kel’s arms, crying and choking and wailing in agony. Hero had obtained a towel from Polly and was using it to apply pressure to the wound, and as much as it did help, it also made Sunny’s sounds of pain and anguish grow tenfold. Aubrey couldn’t handle seeing or hearing any of it, and had gone outside to flag down the ambulance. Kel hadn’t spoken a word since he entered the room.

Paramedics quickly swarmed into the house, whisking Sunny and Basil away before disappearing as quickly as they came. The group had made their way outside and were left to file a police report, as well as explain the full situation to those on the medical team who hadn’t left yet, but they were all too delirious to really be able to describe the full situation. Kel especially - when it came time for him to give his two cents, he barely said a word before sneaking off to sit on the front step and bury his head in his arms. He was still covered in Sunny’s blood. Hero shuddered at the sight, but went to sit next to him as soon as he got the chance.

“Hey, bud. You doing okay…? I know that was crazy intense.”

Kel looked at the ground. His face looked blank, and in the dim glow from the porch light, he seemed as if he was contemplating saying something. It took him a moment, but he seemed to find the words he was looking for.

“I’m okay, bro. J-just in shock.”

Hero wasn’t sure how much of that he wanted to believe, especially considering the gravity of the situation they had just endured, but he didn’t push it. After all, Kel had never lied to him in the past about his feelings, so why would he now? Right?

“...If you say so. If you need anything, I’ll be talking with Polly. We’ll go home soon.”

“Kay.”

That was the end of that. Hero stood, dusting off his slightly blood stained jeans as he tried to ignore the dread that consumed him. There was definitely a reason for this incident, but Hero had no idea what the cause might be. He could only hope all would come to fruition as he approached Polly, casting his gaze at the dewy grass of the lawn below his feet. However, mere seconds later, the air was pierced by the sound of someone vomiting. Hero looked over his shoulder, and was unsurprised, yet still upset to see Kel with his arm around his stomach, leaning over the bushes as he puked.

Part of him wished he had never decided to come home for the summer.

_______

The rest of the month blew by in an instant.

Sunny’s confession at the hospital shattered Hero, even if he did want to work to forgive him someday. All the while, Kel seemed to be growing more and more distant. He wanted to think the only reason was because of everything that had come to light that fateful day, but part of Hero’s mind was fixed on the idea that there was something more going on. Something that had been for years, but he ignored it because he was scared. Scared of what it might really be, and scared that there was nothing he could do to help.

Summer quickly faded into the chilly air of autumn, and Hero had to leave for school again. Something inside his head was screaming at him to stay. He knew that he couldn’t, but ever since that crucial day at the hospital, fear had gnawed away at the back of his mind. Kel had been acting differently since the confession. Even if he said he was fine, and continued to be as cheerful and upbeat as he could, he had become more reserved. His normally bright and upbeat attitude was more diluted, and Hero couldn’t help but notice the way he never made eye contact anymore. He was worried for him.

Alas, Hero had no choice. After bidding farewell to Kel and the rest of his friends, Hero returned to medical school, trying to ignore the way his subconscious was crying out to go home. To check up on his brother. To just be there for him.

He was probably worried about nothing, overthinking like he always did. Kel was a strong, happy kid. He would be okay. Everything was going to be okay.

_______

March twenty third. Five a.m. The day after Hero had come home for spring break that year.

The sound of something shattering against hardwood jolted him from his restless sleep, and he sat bolt upright in bed, heart thundering in his chest from surprise. Had one of his trophies fallen? Was there something going on? Questions flooded Hero’s tired mind as he glanced around the room, trying to figure out the source of the crash. Nothing seemed out of place, except…

Kel was upright in bed, and he looked completely disconsolate. Hero’s heartstrings tugged as he took in the sight before him, watching as the foreboding red glow of his brother's alarm clock seemed to highlight him in an ominous way. Kel was hunched over, head bent so his hair was concealing his face and arms crossed over his chest like he was hugging himself. The more Hero waited, the more he could be sure that Kel was crying.

Something was definitely wrong.

“Hey, bro?” Hero questioned, punctuating his remark with a yawn. “What’s going on…?”

Kel didn’t respond. Instead, he sniffed loudly, then let out a small distressed cry, already shaking body beginning to tremble even harder. Hero’s chest panged. Without bothering to give it a second thought, he peeled off his comforter before standing and stretching his arms in a wide arc. Then, Hero made his way across the room to where Kel sat, positioning himself on the end of the bed cross legged. Kel’s barely audible cries morphed into soft, hiccuping sobs as he placed a gentle hand on his back and rubbed it in comforting circles. This simple act of kindness seemed to throw Kel into emotional overdrive, and his sobs continued to grow louder until he was almost unable to breathe from how hard he was crying. Hero wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Kel cry this hard before - not even when Mari passed away had he bawled so violently.

Hero didn’t question it when Kel eventually collapsed against him. If anything, he was just glad he could be there for his brother.

A few more minutes passed in a similar fashion, until Kel ran out of tears to cry. He pulled away from Hero with a sniffle, wiping the tear streaks that shone in the moonlight from his face. He hadn’t quite noticed before, but Kel looked utterly destroyed. His chest panged once more.

“What happened, Kel?” Hero inquired softly. Kel audibly gulped, folding his arms to his chest again.

“Wh… why does nothing ever go right for me, Henry?”

It was needless to say that Hero was taken aback by the question. For starters, Kel always seemed to take every punch life had thrown at him in stride. Never once had he shown any signs of struggling with the obstacles thrown his way. Or maybe he had, and Hero had just been too blind to notice. Secondly, Kel rarely used his real name, if ever. That was how he knew whatever was going on had to be serious. An all too familiar chill ran down Hero’s spine.

“What do you mean?”

Kel sniffled again, wiping his eyes with his palms once more as well. “Aubrey just… j-just… sh-sh-she told me she ran away. She’s gone now. And Sunny… he lives too far away to v-visit us a lot. You’re always gone too now, c-c-cause of school and whatever. I’m just… I’m so lonely. I’m so sick of being so lonely, Henry!”

Hero didn’t know it was possible for his heart to shatter any more than it already had, but he was quickly disproven. How long had Kel been feeling like this? How long had he been oblivious to his suffering? Why couldn’t he seem to catch on when the people he loved were in pain? Kel was obviously in a lot of emotional turmoil, and he had done nothing for him even when he noticed things were strange all those months ago. Guilt bubbled up inside Hero’s chest as he felt a hand grab his wrist tightly. It didn’t matter that he was squeezing hard enough to leave imprints. Hero needed to hear everything else that Kel had to say.

“I’m so tired all the time. M-m-m-mom and dad don’t give a damn about me, and everyone else but Basil is just… gone. I c-c-could talk to him, but he already struggles enough as is. He d-d-doesn’t need me being a burden to him like I always am. I’ve always been nothing but a n-nuisance.”

Kel’s voice shook and wavered with every word. Hero felt his veins coursing with concern for his brother.

“Don’t say that about yourself, Kelsey. Mom and dad love you, even if they show it differently. And you’ve never been a burden. Not to me or anyone else.”

“It-it’s… it’s t-true, though. You’ve said it yourself, haven’t you?”

Hero wanted to throw up. Remembering everything he’d said to Kel in their argument all those years ago made him feel such deep regret that it was nauseating.

“You know I didn’t mean a word that I said back then… right?”

“W-w-what’s the difference? Even if you didn’t, it’s still true. I’m annoying, and lazy, and g-good for nothing! I have no purpose if I’m n-n-not cheering someone else up. I’m not p-perfect like you are, and I never will be. I’m worthless.”

“Who ever said I’m perfect?”

“Nobody has to say it. W-we all know. Just look at all your trophies. I don’t have anything to show for myself b-but a participation award.”

As Kel spoke through his tears, Hero looked around their shared bedroom. Medals, trophies, certificates and awards of all kinds decorated his half, whilst Kel’s was full of posters, dirty clothes and unfinished homework scattered on the floor. Sure, there was a stark difference between the two, but what did it matter? In Hero’s eyes, awards never measured one’s worth.

“Come on, Kelsey… we may be pretty different, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still perfectly worthy of love.”

Kel didn’t respond. Hero’s gaze drifted back to him, stomach tying itself into knots. He seemed firm in his belief that his value as a person was less than nothing, and Hero wasn’t sure if there was anything he could do to help him realize that wasn’t the case. He felt helpless. Though, at that moment, he was sure Kel was feeling even more helpless than himself.

After a short bout of silence, Kel finally began to speak once more. His words felt sharper than before.

“No. Y-you don’t get it, Henry. I’m just. I’m just not. I don’t deserve love. I deserve pain. I deserve to hurt this badly. If… if I was worth anything, I wouldn’t hurt so fucking much!” He cried out, curling in on himself and throwing his hands over his eyes. Hero looked at him with a wide eyed expression.

Kel sat there and cried into his hands for what felt like ages. As he did, Hero watched him silently, unsure of what to do. Eyes drifting up and down as he tried to figure out what he could even say that might help, he managed to accidentally catch a brief glimpse of Kel’s arms. His stomach dropped completely and a sense of dread filled him as he took in the scars and scabs covering Kel, some wounds looking rather fresh. They decorated his wrists and forearms like a morbid reminder of everything Kel felt about himself. Hero wanted to beat himself over the head for being such a blind idiot.

Before he got the chance to keep feeling bad, however, Kel finally stopped crying and looked up. When he saw the expression Hero was wearing, he flinched, casting his eyes away as his face twisted. Hero did his best to calm himself down from the shock as the pair both fell quiet.

A few more moments of silence passed before the younger of the pair finally spoke up again, voice still audibly watery and raw from crying.

“Henry?”

“Yeah?”

“D’you think anyone would miss me if I was gone too…?”

Hero was shocked at the question, and his eyes went wide. “Of course! I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here. I don’t think anyone would know. Why? You’re not thinking of running away too, are you…?”

Apprehensive, Kel shook his head no. Hero was puzzled. If he wasn’t planning on running away, nor was he going to be leaving Faraway Town for good any time soon, then what else could he mean? He thought about it for a brief moment, looking at Kel with intense confusion as his mind tried to put together the puzzle pieces.

When the realization came of what he meant, Hero swore some invisible force had punched him square in the gut.

“You… you don’t mean… you’re feeling suicidal?”

Kel bit his lower lip and looked away. Hero felt his carefully mended heart break all over again. Instantly, he removed Kel’s grip from his wrist to yank him back into a hug, clutching him tightly. He held him like he was going to disappear at any moment. Tears soaked into the shoulder of his nightshirt. Hero gently stroked Kel’s hair as he began to cry once more.

“Kelsey, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I never knew. I just- I don’t… I don’t know what I can do to help you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m your big brother, I should… I should be watching out for you. Even if I’m not around as much anymore. Just… please, Kel. I can’t lose you too.”

“...M’sorry.”

“Kel, don’t-”

“M’sorry… hic! M’ so sorry, Henry.”

“Shh. Stop apologizing, okay? We’re gonna make sure you get better. I promise you.”

His brother was silent as Hero continued to hold on to him like his life depended on it. There were a lot of things he would have to tell their parents the next day. For now, all he could focus on was making sure Kel felt cared about, safe, and loved. He could only hope it was working.

_______

When Hero awoke the next morning, Kel was still asleep on his side of the room, wrapped in enough blankets that the only indication he was there was the soft rising and falling of his chest. It reminded Hero about how he himself had been for the first year after Mari’s passing. Ice ran through his veins, but nonetheless, he got out of bed and made up the covers. There was a lot of explaining to be done, and he wasn’t going to put Kel through any more by making him be the one to do the talking.

However, before he traversed downstairs, a thought occurred to Hero. One that he really, really wished wasn’t something he would have to consider.

Would they even listen? Would they even believe him? Would they even care?

A constant of the universe had always been that Hero came first, and with that also came the knowledge that his parents were outwardly distasteful towards their second son. It was a thought that made Hero’s blood boil at the mere concept, but there was little that could be done on his end. After all, every time he had tried to stand up for Kel in the past, he was met with a stern reprimanding that “he didn’t know what he was talking about” and that “they were only doing what they thought was best for Kel.” But Hero knew better. It was never about Kel, and always about upholding their family's image. He hated it.

However, maybe if they knew the severity of the situation, they would handle it differently. If they knew Kel was actively harming himself, and thinking about committing an unspeakable act, one that their family had (at least presumably at the time) suffered through the wake of before, they would take action and get him help. It would be better to tell them then leave it all a secret. Hero would rather Kel get the help he so desperately needed than risk it all over his parents' frankly immature and favoritism based behavior.

Hero swallowed his pride as he descended the stairs.

When he arrived, his father was at the kitchen table reading a newspaper, and his mother was preparing food for his two year old sister Sally. As always, she sat in her high chair babbling about nonsense.

As he looked at her, he couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of dread. When she grew up, would she struggle too? Would he fail to be there for her when she needed him? He was going to be well into adulthood by the time she was even in middle school, but that didn’t change the fact that he still felt a sense of guilt for something that hadn’t even happened yet. Hero shook his head as he went towards the cereal cabinet. He was going to need some brain food for this.

When his mother finished feeding Sally, she went up to Hero to give him a morning hug. He forced a smile, but even yet, the anxiety swirling behind his eyes was obvious.

“Hero, mijo, good morning! Did you sleep well? I thought I heard noise coming from your room last night, but I couldn’t be sure…”

“Morning, mom. I slept fine, but… there’s something I should talk to you guys about.”

The words felt heavy on his tongue as Hero watched his parents share a worried glance.

“What happened?” His father questioned, raising an eyebrow as he folded up his newspaper and sat it down in front of him. “Are you okay, champ?”

Hero felt his shoulders tense. Why was it always about him? They didn’t even bother to ask if the problem could be related to Kel. They never bothered to check on him. It made his blood boil, but now wasn’t the time to freak out on them. He had to make sure that they knew what was going on, and he had to be calm about it.

“Oh, I’m okay. It’s actually about Kel…”

At the mention of his brother, both of his parents immediately seemed to become more skeptical. They listened as Hero explained everything that had gone down the previous night, but the whole time, their faces wore looks of doubt. The only time they really seemed to care was when Hero told them that Kel had been hurting himself, and that he had said he was feeling suicidal. Even then, though, they didn’t care in ways that actually mattered. His mother narrowed her eyes and squeezed her hands together.

”Ese niño bueno para nada- Thank you for telling us, Hero… now would you be a dear and fetch your brother for us? I’d like to have a chat with him. And do not come back downstairs.”

Hero grit his teeth, but took a deep breath before speaking again.

“Are you gonna yell at him? Eso no ayudará-”

“Henry. No vuelvas a bajar aquí, lo digo en serio.”

He bit his tongue. Maybe telling them was a mistake.

“Si, mamá.”

Begrudgingly, Hero slid out from where he had sat at the kitchen table and returned upstairs to rouse Kel from his sleep. Hopefully, for once in their lives, his parents would take Kel’s well being seriously. As much as Hero wanted to help, it wasn’t like he was Kel’s legal guardian. He couldn’t get him the help he needed no matter how badly he wanted to.

Sometimes, he wished that he really was his guardian.

When the yelling started, Hero threw himself into his spring break studying. He didn’t want to hear any of the awful things that their parents had to say to Kel. His heart couldn’t handle any more damage. All he could do was hope that Kel would take it alright, and be there to comfort him when all was said and done.

_______

After the reprimanding from their parents was finished, Kel returned to their shared room and immediately buried himself in his comforter, refusing to so much as acknowledge the presence of his brother. Concerned, Hero stood from his desk and sat himself on the edge of Kel’s bed again. This elicited no response from the younger of the two. Anxiety gnawed away at him.

“I’m so sorry. They didn’t mean any of that, I’m sure of it.”

No response. Hero locked his hands together.

“You shouldn’t be in trouble for any of this. I shouldn’t have told them anything. I thought maybe they would listen if it came from me, but...”

Kel shifted in his spot, but didn’t say anything.

“I can buy you a new phone if you want.”

“S’fine.” Kel finally said, his quiet voice trembling. “I don’t need one.”

Silence grew between the two brothers once again, and Hero chewed on his lower lip as he glanced at his clock. He had to leave for work in a few hours, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to be there to make sure Kel was okay. He wanted to see if there was anything he could do to make any of this right. He wanted to make up for all those awful things he had said in the past. Maybe he could call in sick? Who knew. But he would try his best to be there for Kel. He wasn’t sure he could take another tragedy.

_______

Hero knew he shouldn’t have left Kel alone in the house.

He knew that deep down, if he left Kel to his own devices, something bad would happen. Kel looked completely shattered during his explanation of how he’d been feeling, and any hope that he would be okay without further guidance was completely diminished the minute Hero caught a glance at his wrists. But, even with all that gnawing away at him, Hero was still an idiot and a pushover who couldn’t bring himself to fake being sick during the total crisis of someone he loved.

It all started before he left for his evening shift at Fix-It. He’d picked up the job that summer, and the owner was kind enough to let him work whenever he was home if he needed the extra cash. He really did need it, but it shouldn’t have overtaken how much more Kel needed him to be there.

As Hero pulled on his work uniform and apron, he stole continuous glances at the opposite side of he and Kel’s bedroom, the ache within his chest building each time he noticed Kel had yet to move all day. Anxiety gnawed away at him as he fastened on his nametag, and continued to eat him up from the inside out as he pocketed his house keys, wallet and phone. Before he left the room, he stood above Kel’s bed, concern and unease clouding his mind as he decided whether or not to wake him.

It only took a moment of contemplation for Hero to make a choice. He reached down and shook Kel by the shoulders gently.

“Kelsey, are you awake…?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m going to work. I’ll see you later, okay? I wish there was a way for me to get out of this. I’m sorry I can’t stick home with you today, but I promise I’ll work a way around it tomorrow. Just… promise me you’ll be okay alone for a few hours?”

“...Sure.”

Hero felt a very miniscule burst of relief as he pulled Kel upright to hug him, lingering for longer than he usually would.

“Okay. Call me if you need anything at all. Love you, little bro.”

“Yeah, love you too.”

Still filled with uncertainty, Hero made his way down the stairs, out the front door and to his car, using driving as a means to distract himself from all the not so irrational worries that created a whirlpool inside his mind. Sure, he could have just walked, but if there was an emergency, he wanted to be able to get home fast. A fifteen minute walk could be cut down to a five minute drive, and if it came down to it, the extra gas money spent would be worth it in the end.

For the entirety of his shift, Hero couldn’t stop his mind from running. He was probably just worrying himself over nothing. But, then again, he’d thought Kel was completely fine for years. That was the furthest thing from the truth. His own mental distress undermined his ability to really do anything of purpose as he sat behind the register and stared aimlessly at the rows of tools in front of him.

Eventually, it came time to clock out, and Hero practically shot out of his position, clocked out, and was gunning it home in what felt like less than ten seconds. Surely his thoughts were irrational, but regardless, he had to get home. He had to make sure that Kel was alright, for his own sake. He had to make sure his brother was still alive.

The door to their house creaked open, and Hero immediately felt an impending sense of doom wash over him. Something was very, very wrong. Everything was quiet and still, save for the ticking of the wall clock above their television. Yes, he knew his parents had prior evening commitments of their own, and his mother often took Sally along, but this kind of silence was different. It felt similar to the silence that had fallen when he returned for the summer the previous year, but amplified tenfold. Evening light from the sunset streamed in through the windows, creating glowing shapes on the walls as he let the front door creak shut. Hero’s heart was thudding against his ribs like a steady drumbeat. The stairs creaked under his feet as he apprehensively approached the second floor terrace.

Upstairs, the only lights that remained on were the ones to he and Kel’s room, as well as the bathroom. Hero decided to check the bedroom first, peeking around the corner with a newfound sense of fear. Kel’s bed was empty, covers still unmade. There was an unfamiliar square of paper sitting upon his pillow. Sweat dripped down Hero’s temple as he walked inside to read it. Hands shaking, he unfolded the sheet. Hero didn’t know whether he wanted to scream, cry, or be sick as he read its contents.

Hi, Henry.

I’m assuming you’re the one reading this. You’re supposed to come home first today, right? I just wanted to say that I’m really, really sorry. I know you made me promise that I would be okay for a few hours, but promises are made to be broken, aren’t they? After all, we all promised we would never leave one another again after last year. Look where that got us all, hahaha. That’s… not funny. Whatever. What I really wanted to say is that I love you a lot. You’ve always been the best big brother ever. Even after Mari died, you still came back around again. You tried to help me as much as you could back then, and you still do now. But… this time around, there was no helping me. I don’t think I was meant to exist. Mom and dad have always been right about me being a mistake. I really am just a pointless, useless burden to everyone around me, and they really would be better off with me dead. So I’m taking myself out of the picture, for the sake of them, and you, and everyone else who had to deal with me making their lives worse. Even with me gone, though, please try not to hate mom and dad too much! They don’t love me, but they love you, and they’ll need your support. Stay strong. And take good care of Hector! For me?

I’m sorry. I wish things could’ve been different.

Love, your little brother Kelsey.

As he finished reading the note, Hero’s entire world went into slow motion. The paper fluttered to the floor as he dropped it, turning on his heel and dashing out of the bedroom towards the bathroom door. When he arrived, he tried to throw it open, but it was locked. Of course it was locked. Trying to not let himself burst into tears, Hero backed up and let out a yell, wheeling forward as he slammed his shoulder into the door as hard as possible. With the amount of force he had used, the door came right off its hinges, smashing into the wall as he reeled forward into the sink. He barely managed to stop himself from colliding with the mirror hard enough to break his nose. But, out of all of the sensations bombarding him at once, only one stood out to Hero.

The ground was wet.

Heart going into his throat, Hero let his terrified gaze drift downwards. Blood formed pools mixed with water on the floor, running out from over the edge of the bathtub. His eyes drifted even further. His whole body was shaking.

There, in the bathtub, stone still and with an unreadable expression, was his baby brother.

Hero screamed so loud he was sure everyone in the world could hear him.

_______

Tufts of pollen floated through the air as Hero sat on the doorstep to his home, head buried in his arms. Emergency medical aids and police crowded the street, neighbors and strangers alike whispering about all the commotion. He had yet to stop sobbing since he’d smashed in the bathroom door. Ever since he had finally accepted Mari’s passing, it had seemed impossible to cry for so long and so hard. Many things had changed since that day.

Thirty minutes passed. Hero felt a blanket be wrapped around his shoulders, followed by a comforting pair of arms. Whoever had embraced him was choking on their own tears.

Hero cracked open one eye and peeked through the gap between his arms. Basil stared back at him with an expression of pure grief.

It only made him want to cry harder.

_______

The moon shone down on Hero as he sat on the doorstep once more, unable to bear being inside his house. This time, Sally sat in his lap. She was too young to understand the events of the past few days.

“Where’s big bro Kel?” She asked every so often. Hero wished he could be as young as her again.

“He’s… gone, Sal.” He would say to her every time.

“Where did he go?”

“Somewhere far, far away.”

“Why?”

“He… he was really sad, Sal. He thought going away was the only way to stop being so sad.”

“Why was he sad?”

“...Lots of reasons.”

“When will he come back?”

Hero’s throat felt tight whenever she asked that heartbreaking question.

“He’s not coming back. I’m sorry, Sally”

As one, lone tear managed to slip out of Hero’s eye, he felt a tiny hand touch his cheek. Sally was looking at him, her beady brown eyes wide with worry.

“Don’t cry, Hewo…!” Was all she said. Hero smiled wearily. He wouldn’t cry in front of her, because she was just a little kid. Sally didn’t need to know how much he was hurting.

_______

The funeral was a quiet affair.

Hero stared blankly forward throughout the eulogy delivered by his crying parents. He hated that they thought they deserved the right to cry. This was as much their fault as it was everything else's.

They hadn’t cared for the duration of Kel’s short life. They hadn’t held him while he poured his heart out, crying so hard he was unable to breathe. They hadn’t been the ones to open the bathroom door and discover his empty eyes, blood filling the tub and spilling out all over the tile flooring. They weren’t there when emergency services arrived, and Kel was pronounced dead on the scene. They couldn’t even begin to understand what it felt like to truly hurt.

It came time to say goodbye much faster than Hero was ready for. As everyone got in line, Hero swallowed, tears slowly trickling out of his eyes and streaming down his face. He had never thought this moment would come. There truly was no going back.

When it came his turn to bid farewell for good, something within Hero snapped. Kel looked so at peace as he lay there, all done up in a suit with his hair tied back. It was like he was sleeping. In a morbid way, it reminded him of Mari’s funeral all those years ago. Hero choked as a loud sob broke past his lips, and he fell to his knees, burying his face in his hands by the casket's side. A familiar hand placed itself on his shoulder, but he didn’t bother to look up. He knew the one eyed boy it belonged to. Even if he was still working towards forgiveness, Hero would forever be thankful that Sunny decided to come.

Yet still, Hero couldn’t help but think that if only he hadn’t been so blind, maybe Kel would still be around.

_______

The day of his emotional explosion on Kel, Hero had promised himself he would never let it happen again. But he was twenty years old now, and as Kel had said with his final words, promises were made to be broken.

Outside the funeral home, Hero let his anger boil over, and finally erupted on his parents. What started as quiet, seething words quickly evolved into yelling, and yelling evolved into tearful screaming. Hero shouted about everything, and unlike his first breakdown after Mari’s passing, he meant every single word of it.

“Kel needed help, and you had the audacity to ignore him!?”

They did, and they had.

“He was suffering, but you decided to punish him instead of making the bare fucking minimum effort to get him support. How fucking dare you.”

He was, and they did, and he hated them for it.

“You always ignored Kel growing up to favor me. And look where that fucking got us. He’s dead, and there’s nothing you can do to bring him back.”

They did. There was nothing to be done. He was gone for good.

“He was seventeen.”

He had been.

“You helped cut his life short.”

They did.

“I hate you.”

He meant it.

When all was said and done, Hero stormed off, climbed into his car and sped back towards the place he had once considered his home. Not anymore. Not with those two monsters living inside.

_______

Sitting outside on the porch once more, Hero’s phone rang quietly, and he chewed on his lip as he waited for the receiving end to pick up.

“Hey, Hero.”

“Hi, Aubrey.”

“I saw your explosion at the funeral. I hate to say it, but… your parents deserved that.”

“I know.”

Silence.

“But that’s not why you called, is it?”

“Um, yeah. It’s not. I have a question for you, actually.”

“Shoot.”

“You and Kim are looking for a place to stay, right?”

“What are you getting at?”

“Well, dorms are on a lottery system for everyone but first years at my school, so I have no idea what my situation is gonna be next year. And there's no way in hell I’m ever setting foot in that… that prison I called home ever again. So…”

“...”

“...”

“Yeah, sure. We’ll figure something out with you. You wouldn’t be the world's most awful roommate.”

_______

As Hero’s car pulled out of the driveway, a small moving trailer in tow, he refused to look back. His parents held Sally, watching as he drove away, but he didn’t care. Nothing he had left behind inside that wretched house mattered. He was leaving it all behind, and hoped that wherever they were, Kel and Mari could find it in themselves to forgive him for not being able to save them. Just the same, he could only wish that Sally would have a better life than Kel or himself had as he watched the world go by in colorful blurs outside his windshield.

Thank you for visiting Faraway Town. Come see us again soon!

He wouldn’t.

Chapter Text

From the very beginning, Aubrey’s life had been miserable.

Born to parents that didn’t love one another, Aubrey spent the vast majority of her early childhood hiding away in her room and pretending she couldn’t hear the screaming from downstairs. From below her feet, bottles would shatter, things would thump loudly, and there were often sounds of physical abuse. She had never been sure who was hitting who, but it didn’t matter. All Aubrey needed to know was that she hated every second of it. At least most of the time, her parents never took anything out on her. Just one another.

That wasn’t to say she wasn’t scared, though. Some days, when things got particularly bad, Aubrey would sneak out the front window of her attic bedroom by stepping on the lower windowsill and using the shingles as a means to grip on and descend slowly. From there, she would usually run to faraway park to hide, or play on the playground and pretend like nothing was wrong. She usually felt better afterwards and would come in the front door like nothing happened. Her parents never acknowledged it.

However, on one of those days, Aubrey encountered a stranger.

She had run away after her parents got into a particularly bad screaming match. As she lowered herself to the ground, Aubrey could see her father shoving his things into a large suitcase in the living room. Her mother was crying, as well as feebly hitting his back as if attempting to get him to stay. Just the sight of that alone was enough to make Aubrey pick up the pace, as she was not too keen on having to process what she had just taken in. Terrified and confused thoughts swirled within her mind as she began to run, and soon, she found herself in an unfamiliar stretch of neighborhood. One of her shoes had come off. For some reason, this was enough to cause her to break.

As she stood outside a strange house in an unknown segment of town, Aubrey let out a small wail and collapsed on the sidewalk, hugging her knees to her chest as she let all of the stress and confusion of her troubled home life come swelling to the surface. She wasn’t sure how long she had cried, because by the time she was snapped out of it, the sun had begun setting over the horizon. Time, however, was not what she was focused on in that moment. Instead, it was the strange little boy who stood before her.

“Hey, miss, are you okay?”

Aubrey sniffled as she took in the appearance of the boy who had disturbed her. He looked to be roughly around her age, and was wearing an orange t-shirt and a pair of shorts. His shaggy, mocha brown hair reached just about his chin in length, and most obviously of all things, he was missing a tooth. His curious, chocolate colored eyes were wide with worry and intrigue. Aubrey wiped at her face with the palms of her hands.

“I… I lost my shoe.” She croaked. The boy put a hand on her shoulder.

“Is that all? Don’t worry, we’ll help you find it!” He beamed. Aubrey cocked her head to the side.

“...We?”

“Yea!” He said, grin growing even wider as he turned to call over his shoulder. “Hey, Hero! Mari! Sunny! C’mere! Some girl lost her shoe!”

As the last of her tears slipped away, Aubrey watched three more kids come up behind the strange boy. Two of them looked to be much older than herself, but the third looked just as young as the first stranger, if not even younger. He was standing behind the older kids, gripping on to the skirt of the girl of the group, and staring curiously.

“These are my friends, Mari and Sunny!” The first boy exclaimed, motioning to the older girl and the little boy behind her. Mari smiled warmly and waved, whilst Sunny flushed red and ducked behind Mari even further.

“And this is my big bro, Hero!”

Aubrey wanted to snicker, but refrained. “Your name is Hero?”

The older boy scratched the back of his neck sheepishly and averted his gaze. “No, haha. It’s actually Henry. Hero is just a nickname.”

“Oh.”

Aubrey’s gaze fell to the boy who had come to her with intrigue as he extended a hand to help her stand up.

“What’s your name?”

“Oh, yeah! I’m Kelsey, but you can call me Kel! Kel sounds cooler. Kelsey is a dumb girly name.”

Although she was a little offended by Kel’s distaste for girly things, Aubrey sniffled and smiled nonetheless, taking his hand and wobbling to her feet.

“I’m Aubrey.” She said softly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Aubrey!” Mari exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “Don’t worry, we’ll help you find your shoe. Isn’t that right, Sunny?”

The boy behind her nodded his head, but didn’t make eye contact.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

Kel nodded with enthusiasm. “Uh-huh! And once we find it, you should come with us to the park! We were just headin’ that way when I heard you crying.”

“If you want to, of course.” Hero added.

Aubrey mulled it over for a moment. It was starting to get rather late, and her parents would start to get worried if she didn’t return soon. But then again, they never acknowledged when she left anyways, and her father didn’t seem like he was going to come back. Her mom probably wouldn’t care if she decided to go play with some new kids. Besides, hanging out with a fun new group of friends sounded infinitely better than returning to the endless suffering that was being with her family. A smile crept its way across her face.

“Yeah, okay!” She said. Kel continued to beam back at her and raised his hand for a high five. With some reluctance, Aubrey returned the gesture.

“WOO-HOO! New friend!” He cried out, charging ahead of the group. “Let’s go get that shoe!”

Part of Aubrey couldn’t help but giggle to herself as she watched Hero speed after his younger brother to make sure he didn’t get hurt. Instead, she hung back with Mari and her younger brother, chatting with the girl as Sunny watched her with nervous intrigue. It wasn’t quite how she had expected things to go that day, but it didn’t matter. She was glad she had new friends.

For the first time in her life, Aubrey felt hope for a bright future.

_______

Mari was dead.

Mari was dead, and there was nothing anyone or anything could do to change that. Not even her dear friends, whom Aubrey loved like family, could fix it. Nobody could bring Mari back to them.

As soon as the funeral came and went, Sunny withdrew from the world. Her first friend, Basil, became rife with anxiety and shut himself away, and Kel threw himself into other activities, making new friends within his basketball team to avoid the issue. Hero became severely depressed. Aubrey was alone once again, and didn’t know how to deal with it.

Nonetheless, time marched forward. Instead of letting herself succumb to grief like most of her friends had, Aubrey turned to anger. Any negative feelings that grew within the darkest depths of her mind were quickly absorbed into the red cloud that hounded her, and her personality flipped itself completely. She pushed anyone and everyone away, and found herself a new group of delinquent friends that would often get into all sorts of trouble. It didn’t matter to her, though. She needed an outlet for all her stress, and it wasn’t like her mother would care what she got up to. She had become an alcoholic, and a bad one. If Aubrey ever up and disappeared, she probably wouldn’t even notice.

Life continued to go on. Each day felt the same as the last.

Before Aubrey could seem to get up to speed, four years had gone by, and Sunny had emerged from his house with the help of Kel. Over the span of the following days, she got into her fair share of fights with both boys. It was strangely cathartic to beat up those she held the most resentment towards at times, but for the most part, it just felt wrong. Especially considering Sunny hadn’t left his house in four years, and somehow, Kel seemed different. Less like himself. She didn’t care to inquire as to why, though. His business was his business, and even when they reconciled (with Hero’s help), she wasn’t going to give enough of a shit to ask.

That didn’t stop the little inkling of guilt for the way she and her friends had bullied him (and Basil, for that matter) over the years from slipping into her mind, though. It was easy to ignore, but it was still there.

_______

The eve before Sunny left Faraway Town was one Aubrey wished she could forget.

After hearing a blood curdling scream rip through the house, she, Hero, and Kel made their way to Basil's bedroom, only to find Sunny writhing in agony on the floor. Aubrey had immediately dashed outside - she couldn’t stand to see her best friends suffering like that, especially not in such fragile states as the ones they had been left in by the cruelty of time. Instead, she waited out by the street for emergency services to arrive, staring blankly at the road from the curb. She barely even reacted when they pulled up beside her, simply opting to point into the house, gaze affixed to the dark pavement below her feet.

Sunny and Basil were quickly whisked away, and those remaining behind at the house were stuck in emotional limbo. In order to keep herself from going crazy, Aubrey ended up taking a short walk around the neighborhood by herself. It was nice to get some fresh air, but even yet, she still felt ill at heart. Like there was something much deeper going on, not just from Basil and Sunny. Aubrey couldn’t help but feel like Kel was hiding something too. She tried not to dwell on it too much as she returned to the gruesome scene before her.

However, just after regrouping with the others, she turned away again. Seeing her another one of her best friends soaked in blood, and this time vomiting in the bushes, was not something Aubrey wanted to add to the list of horrible things witnessed that humid summer night.

Part of her wanted to run away from it all and never look back. For now, she resisted the urge.

_______

Aubrey was not often one to pride herself on being very observant, but some things were just too painfully obvious to be ignored.

This time, it was Kel’s sudden change in personality. Ever since Sunny and Basil’s altercation, and then their confession at the hospital, he had been acting strange. Strange even for an eccentric kid such as himself. Instead of being upbeat and cheerful as usual, his attitude had become more dull. He never made eye contact with anyone anymore, nor did he go in for hugs or high fives at the slightest good news. His smiles looked forced, and the way he carried himself had changed entirely - he no longer bounded everywhere with confidence, instead walking with his hands constantly shoved in his pockets, eyes glued to the ground. But the icing on the cake was the way he had begun to dress. Instead of flashy basketball jerseys and shorts, he wore boring colorless sweatshirts and jeans every day. In fact, Aubrey couldn’t quite recall the last time she saw him actually attend basketball practice.

Something was definitely wrong.

One particularly chilly January afternoon, Aubrey decided enough was enough. Kel had barely said a word for the entirety of their shared science class. Normally, he would've been laughing, joking, and likely accidentally spilling chemicals everywhere. But there was not a peep from him this time around unless he was prompted by the teacher or Aubrey herself to speak. It was after that class that she tracked him down on his route home, dragging him by the ear to their old hideout. Whether Kel liked it or not, she was going to make him talk.

As soon as they arrived, she sat cross legged on Mari’s old picnic blanket, beckoning Kel to join her. He did, if not with some hesitancy. His eyes were swimming with confusion and worry.
“So… what’s up?” He inquired awkwardly.

“...”

“Aubrey…?”

Without even thinking, she blurted out something about how Kel had been acting like Basil, and how she knew something was wrong. He tried to retort, but there was something about the way he was behaving that just felt off. All the while, his anxious behaviour only intensified. Dread grew within Aubrey’s stomach, and her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“C’mon, dude… you can tell me anything. Are you doin’ okay?”

A few beats of strained silence passed as Aubrey watched Kel’s eyes glass over, and mere moments after that, a strangled cry escaped his throat. Loud, guttural sobs broke from within him, each one more haggard than the last as he practically threw himself at Aubrey, seemingly desperate for some form of physical comfort. Aubrey wasn’t sure what to do at first, but quickly wrapped her arms around her shaking friend.

With a watery and trembling voice cracking at every seam, Kel began to speak.

“A-aubrey…!”

“Shh, shh… hey man. I’m here for you, okay? What’s on your mind?”

Kel sniffled loudly. “I… I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I-I’m supposed to be happy all the time, but I’m not. Ever since she died, and Sunny got hurt, I’ve been tryin’ to stay positive. B-but I just can’t anymore! I’m not h-happy, and I haven’t been for years, and I can’t just keep acting like I am…!”

Aubrey was shocked, to say the least, but didn’t utter a single word as he continued. This was his time - she wanted to make sure he got everything off his chest that had been simmering beneath the surface.

“I’ve hated myself for so long, but I just... I just don’t k-know who I am if I'm not the cheery, happy go lucky funny guy. If y-you guys can’t depend on me, then I don’t have a purpose. M-my parents don’t love me, so y-you guys probably won’t if I’m not happy like you think I am. I-I’m not good enough anymore. Though I guess I never really was to begin with.”

“Kel…”

“I’m so tired, Aubrey…! I’m so tired of being so lonely. I’m surrounded by friends and yet I'm still so lonely. I’m so useless. I hate myself.”

“Kel, don’t say that.”

”It’s true! I wouldn’t deserve to h-hurt like this if I was actually w-worth anything.”

“Dude, what’s that supposed to mean?”

Sniffling once again, Kel briefly pulled away from his death grip on Aubrey. He looked as if he had something to say, but the words were just on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he averted his gaze, tightening his hands into fists as tears rolled down his cheeks and plopped silently on to the fabric of his jeans. Aubrey stared for a moment, unsure of what he was trying to say. They sat in silence for a moment before Kel finally sucked in a deep breath, grabbed the edge of his sleeve and revealed just the faintest hint of tanned skin. Aubrey had to physically suppress the gasp that threatened to escape from her as she took in the handful of scars that were visible from just an inch of Kel’s wrist.

Her gaze flickered upward quickly, locking on to Kel as an expression of pure shock and worry crossed her face. Kel briskly pulled his sleeve back down, going as far as to accidentally cover his own hand with it. Words failed Aubrey, but before any awkward silence could work its way between the two, Kel continued on.

“...I don’t want p-people to know. B-but… I just… I just…! I deserve to hurt. I’m worthless. I’m nothing. I wish I was dead.”

Aubrey said nothing as she reached forward and pulled Kel against her again, and he fell into her grasp just as hard as before. His tears soaked the shoulder of her jacket, and she merely wrapped her arms even tighter around her shaking friend, using a free hand to stroke his hair comfortingly. She wasn’t really sure what else to do. But either way, it was clear that Kel had been holding on to this for a long time. Guilt from all the times she had harassed him in the past ate away at Aubrey as she combed her fingers slowly through his brunette locks.

A few minutes passed before Kel came to his senses again, and when he pulled away from Aubrey, eyes red and puffy from crying, she made sure to grab one of his hands with her own. She wasn’t sure if it was for his comfort, or for hers. It didn’t matter, though. There was a lot that needed to be said.

“Kel, I’m… so sorry.”

He shrugged. “S’ fine. It isn’t like you’re responsible for my feelings or anything, heh.”

“No, but… you’ve been hurting for years, and I was being too much of a fucking knucklehead to notice. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that alone. It was selfish of me to think you just didn’t care.”

“Seriously, Aubs, it’s okay. I’ll be okay.”

Her eyes flicked down to Kel’s wrists for just a brief second. Yeah, she definitely didn’t believe him. Aubrey made that fact abundantly clear with what she said next.

“I dunno if I believe that, but… ugh, I am so not good at this. Just. No matter what, I’ll be here for you, kay? Hero was right, you know. With what he said last summer. I’m not makin’ the mistake of leaving anyone alone again. That includes you, nerd.”

Kel swallowed and nodded, tears just beginning to trickle out of his eyes once again. She grabbed his hand and pulled him in for the millionth hug that afternoon.
Aubrey would never admit it, but in that moment, she felt like crying too.
_______

The night after her confrontation with Kel, Aubrey was unable to sleep.

She tossed and turned in bed, eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to force herself unconscious to no avail. Everything Kel had confessed to her was clouding her mind like a thick black smog. He had been depressed for ages, and she just hadn’t noticed. He had been actively cutting himself, and she had chalked his stupid boring hoodies up to a strange fashion choice for months. Aubrey wanted to scream into her pillow. What kind of friend was she? Claiming to be there for him when she couldn’t so much as bat an eye when he was clearly hurting. This had happened before with Sunny, and it was happening again. What could she do to be better?

Agonizing thoughts continued to plague Aubrey as she threw the covers over her head, curling into a tight ball. Though, as a wave of restless sleep finally washed over her body, Aubrey couldn’t help but wonder something to herself.

She had bullied Kel just as badly as Basil during those four years the group spent apart. Could any of this be her fault?

_______

As winter progressed into the first signs of spring, Aubrey found herself being around Kel more and more again. She would drag him along to hang out with her after school, as well as force him to tag along with her and the hooligans on their escapades. At first, they were adamantly against Kel’s presence, and would make sure to vocalize it in front of him. Aubrey tolerated it for a little while, but as the things they said to make fun of him grew less playful and more malicious, she pulled Kim aside to ask them to stop.

“Why should we? Ain’t he like… a complete and total idiot? He left you for years when you were suffering, dude. Why do you care about him now?” She had asked. Aubrey let out a loud sigh.

“Yeah. But we’re all cool! It’s water under the bridge now. Besides, he, um. He’s… uh, well…”
Kim tilted her head to the side inquisitively.

“Look. Do not breathe a word of what I’m about to tell you to anyone else. I’m dead serious. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“...Kel’s really depressed. I’m not gonna get into it cause it isn’t my place, but could you guys lay off him a little? I don’t want him feeling any worse than he already is.”
Kim looked dumbfounded, but reached up and adjusted her glasses before nodding nonetheless.

“Man, I never woulda guessed. He always seems so oblivious and happy. But yeah, I’ll tell the gang to back off.”

Aubrey’s gaze fell to the ground. “...I wouldn't have guessed either. But whatever. Thanks, Kim.”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s your friend, and I care about you and stuff, so if you want us to leave him alone, we will.”

A small smile found its way across Aubrey’s face and she kissed Kim quickly on the cheek before returning to where the rest of the group were sitting at their usual spot. Kim followed behind, her face bright red.

A few days later, as the sun slowly lowered in the sky, just after the hooligans had all split up to return to their homes, Aubrey and Kel decided to take a little walk around town together just to catch up. They chatted about anything and everything, from their shared childhood to the latest episode of a popular T.V. show. Before either of them knew it, the sun had set behind the horizon, and the first silvery beams of moonlight shone down over Faraway Town. Aubrey stopped where she stood, just outside the entrance to the park.

“Damn. We’ve been gone all day. Don’t you have a curfew?”

Kel pulled one of his hands out of his hoodie pocket to check the time on his phone, and when he saw how late it was, he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “Man, I do. My mom’s probably gonna kill me for being out so late. I really Kel’d this one up, huh?”

Aubrey smacked him on the back of the head lightly. “Shut it. I don’t wanna hear any of that shit when you’re around me, kay? It isn’t your fault. We just got caught up talking.”

“I guess so, yeah. Sorry, heheh.”

“You’re fine, but you need to stop blaming everything on yourself, dork. C’mon, I’ll walk you home. Your mom is less likely to scream at you if I walk you inside, right?”

“Mhm. All she cares about is reputation, so if I have a friend with me she’ll pretend nothing happened. It’s so annoying.”

“I bet.”

As their comfortable conversation quickly returned, Aubrey walked with Kel until he was inside his home. She bid him goodbye before turning on her heel and starting down the sidewalk towards her own residence, as much as she didn’t want to.

Eventually, she made it home. The door creaked shut behind her. Her mother hadn’t moved from the couch. A grimace replaced the soft smile Aubrey had carried earlier.

Sometimes she wished her mother cared enough to give her a curfew.

_______

Smack!

The loud sound of skin on skin contact reverberated off the walls of Aubrey’s decrepit living room, followed by deafening silence. An intense pain throbbed from her face, and she quickly went to hold the injury, trying to ignore the way her mother stared at her from where she stood. It was hard to avoid the way her cold, dead eyes pierced through Aubrey’s heart. She hated when her mother got like this. It always came out of nowhere.

The fight began when Aubrey returned home from her walk with Kel.

As soon as the door had closed, her mother looked over her shoulder from where she sat in front of the television. This was already a bad sign - she never tore herself out of her mesmerized stupor unless she was sober, and when she was sober, she got angry. The pit that had made its way into Aubrey’s stomach amplified tenfold in an instant.

“Aubergine.” Her mother said sternly. She felt her body go tense.

“Hi, mom.”

“Do you have any idea fucking idea how late it is?”

“...It’s ten thirty.”

Her mothers glare intensified, and Aubrey took a step back. Her back hit the door.

“Girls like you shouldn’t be out so late. Who knows what disgusting things you could be up to!?”

“I was helping out a friend, mom.” The words felt like acid burning Aubrey’s tongue and dripping from her mouth as she spoke.

Aubrey watched as her mom stood from the couch and walked over, the putrid scent of alcohol radiating off of her. She looked as if she hadn’t seen a shower in months. She probably hadn’t. None of those things were comparable to the fire behind her eyes, though. Aubrey’s fight or flight instincts were gearing up with each passing second.

“How dare you disrespect me? You useless little bitch.”

“I’m going to bed.”

With that, Aubrey pushed past her mother and began to storm towards the ladder to the attic. However, before she could get to the doorway to the back of the house, her mother grabbed her by the wrist, yanked her so she was turned around, and slapped her square in the face with enough force that she collapsed. Now, she sat on the floor, looking into her mothers rage filled eyes. She hated to admit it to herself, but Aubrey was scared.

“You think you can just run around doing whatever it is you want, huh? How dare you. How dare you treat your mother this way.”

Aubrey regained her senses as her mother began to rant and rave, going on and on about how she was a horrible person and an even worse daughter. She complained and complained, too engrossed in her rage to even notice that Aubrey was slowly getting up. By the time she noticed and screamed after her, Aubrey had clambered up the ladder, locked the trap door and thrown herself under the covers. She was shaking with fear, confusion and anger of her own. She was so sick of living like this.

In that moment, there was only one thing she could think to do, not even considering the possible repercussions of her actions. She couldn’t stay somewhere she felt unsafe. She needed to get out.

Aubrey pulled her phone from her pocket and called the only person she could think of that would listen.

“Hey Kim? I’m running away.”

_______

March 23rd, 4:45 A.M. One week after Aubrey made the decision to leave Faraway and plan her way out.

She sat silently on the doorstep of her house, phone in hand as her thumb hovered over the send button. Were they really going to do this? Was she ready to leave Faraway town forever, never to return? Sure, her mother was an awful human being, and sure, Faraway held lots of awful memories for her. But there were also plenty of good ones. Her friends had made her childhood bearable, and it hurt to think that she was going to abandon it all on a whim. There would be no going back from this choice, and Aubrey didn’t know if she was ready to accept that.

And then she felt it again. The gut twisting, sickening fear she was always followed by.

Hearing a noise from inside the dark house, Aubrey whirled to face the door, body going tense with shock. If her mother was awake, she was going to have to hide quickly, lest she be caught and hit again. Maybe even beaten. It had happened before, and it was only a matter of time before it happened again. That was when it really hit her. Children aren’t supposed to fear their mothers.

There was no way in hell that she was going to stay. Faraway town was cursed in her eyes, and she wanted nothing to do with it ever again in her lifetime, if it could be helped.

The sound of footsteps echoing off of the cold pavement jolted Aubrey from her thoughts, and she quickly shut off her phone to see who was approaching. Much to her delight, Kim had arrived. She carried a backpack on her shoulder, as well as a large duffle bag that was filled with basic necessities. She looked very tired. Aubrey always thought she looked cute when she was tired.

“Hey, Aubs.” She said, her already gravelly voice sounding even rougher from having just woken up. Aubrey cracked a small smirk at her.

“Morning, K.”

“You ready to get goin’? The bus is gonna be here soon and I’m not waiting for the next one.”

Aubrey glanced down at the phone in her hand, once again opening the screen and reading each individual message that she had typed out to all of her friends. The only people who weren’t getting a goodbye text were Hero and Sunny, but that was because they both had already left town, and in Hero’s case, she figured he might find her irresponsible for running away. She couldn’t give a damn what he thought. Aubrey had to leave.

“Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”

With that, Aubrey stood, dusting off her legs and swinging her own bag over her shoulder before sending off each message one at a time. The message to Kel was delivered right as the clock struck five a.m., and Kim laced their fingers together as they walked away, leaving everything behind and finding their way into an uncertain future together. Neither girl was sure where they would end up, but they both knew one thing for certain.

Everything would work out.

Aubrey was peacefully oblivious to how big of a mistake she had just made, and how wrong things were going to turn as she walked hand in hand with Kim to the bus station, the sun just beginning to crest light over the deep blue horizon.

_______

Aubrey blinked. Then blinked again. Her blurry vision began to slowly come back into focus as she awoke from her involuntary nap, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she sat herself back up from where she had slid down in her seat. Next to her, Kim dozed quietly, her head resting comfortably on Aubrey's shoulder. She cracked a small smile as she watched her girlfriend sleep peacefully.

With just a short few minutes left in the ride, Aubrey stared out the bus window as the movement of the Greyhound the two girls rode upon rumbled and chugged along the highway towards an exit ramp. Shortly thereafter, the bus began to slow as it finally pulled into the local station, and Aubrey took a peek at the nearest road sign as the vehicle finally screeched to a stop.

Welcome to Nearby City, where the streets never sleep!

Aubrey smiled again as the sound of brakes cut through the air. The girls had made it.

As the echoing hiss of the bus doors opening reverberated throughout the cabin of the vehicle, Aubrey shook Kim awake, helping her to her feet as they grabbed their things and finally dismounted. Kim let out a loud yawn as the pair collected themselves and Aubrey led them over to a bench, plopping down and beckoning Kim to sit beside her.

“We made it, K! Ah, the big city.” Aubrey hummed. Kim grumbled sleepily.

“Yeah, guess we did.” A yawn interrupted her sentence briefly. “So, where to next? We should prolly find somewhere to crash for the night before it gets dark. I ain't sleeping outside.”

“True. Here, gimme a second.” Aubrey hummed, pulling out her phone. There were a handful of notifications stacked on the front of her lock screen. Mostly a bunch of games pestering her with nonsense, a couple social media notifications, and a few messages from Kel and Basil.

Good! So they had received her goodbyes. She'd make time to respond as soon as they found somewhere to stay.

Aubrey scrolled through internet reviews of nearby motels for a few minutes while Kim did her best to keep from nodding off again. After a few minutes of deliberation, they settled on a decent looking place that offered weekly rates. It couldn't be that nice if it was a long stay place, but it would give the girls time to figure out their next steps.

Pulling Kim to her feet, Aubrey dragged her drowsy girlfriend out of the bus station and out onto the bustling street, using her phone to navigate the pair down to the subway station. The train that led towards the motel arrived within minutes, and soon, the girls were at its doorstep. Kim waited for Aubrey outside of the front office as she paid for their room using the money she had scrounged up doing odd jobs and pocketing cash from her drunken mother over the years.

Finally, after what felt like a million years, they made it to their room. Both girls immediately tossed their things aside to flop straight on to the bed, Aubrey letting out a loud sigh as she felt her body finally relax for the first time since they had departed early that morning.

They lay there for just a few minutes, silently cuddling as warm beams of evening light streamed in through the slatted window blinds. Aubrey felt a sense of peace wash over her. Then, suddenly, Kim shoved her away from her dramatically, shooting upright and adjusting her glasses. “Welp. I'm disgusting. I need a shower, man!” She said matter of factly, causing Aubrey to giggle.

“Yeah, we both kinda smell. Go, get in there before I kill ya and shower first!” She teased, lightly punching Kim on the shoulder before shooing her girlfriend towards the bathroom. Kim grinned as she stood up and tiredly walked away, grabbing a towel from the shelf by the bathroom door and slipping inside. As the door clicked shut behind her and the sound of running water filled the room, Aubrey decided to finally respond to those texts she had been neglecting.

However, as she began to reach for her phone, the peace Aubrey was feeling was gone, suddenly replaced by a sense of impending doom that rapidly filled her from head to toe. She froze for a moment, hand hovering above the device as something uncomfortable settled itself in her chest. She couldn't really place why, but suddenly, she was scared to see what her friends had said.

After a couple seconds, Aubrey did her best to swallow the feeling and grabbed her phone, rolling from laying on her side to laying on her back as she held it above her face and slid her finger across the screen to open it up. The little red bubble that sat on the corner of the messaging app icon stared up at Aubrey, sitting there and beckoning her to check what Kel and Basil had said. Something inside of her really really didn't want to see. But, nonetheless, she opened up her texts.

There were only three texts waiting for her as she stared at the screen. Two from Basil, and one from Kel. Aubrey felt a shiver run down her spine, and she sat there, motionless, willing herself to open them. She had no idea what was causing the sudden, ever growing pit in her stomach, but something deep in her subconscious was telling her she knew exactly why.

Aubrey started with Basil's messages, sitting up and standing to her feet as she did. She couldn't bring herself to check what Kel had said - the sense of doom she was experiencing in that moment was also making her realize she had broken her promise to him that she would be there for him by leaving, even if she had told him she'd always have his back. Aubrey couldn't face that, lest her worst fears be confirmed.

There wasn't much her friend had said. Basil sent his well wishes late that morning, telling Aubrey he understood why she did it and that he'd miss her a lot. He also asked if he could come see her as soon as she settled down, because she was his first and best friend. That part made her heart warm, if not just a little. The second text was just a selfie Basil had taken of himself doing a heart shape with his fingers and saying how much he loved her. It made Aubrey smile.

After that was said and done, Aubrey took a sharp breath inward, feeling the fear swirling inside of her stomach spread through every vein in her body. The notification from Kel glared up at her forebodingly.

All she could hope was that everything was okay as she braced herself and tapped on his contact.

When she saw the length of his message, though, Aubrey's heart immediately dropped to the floor.

From: smellsey

hey, aubrey.

sorry if this isn't well written. my phone screen kind of got shattered and it's hard to type. the glass keeps cutting my fingers, lol. anyways, that isn't the point. i'm really happy for you, aubs. i'm so glad that you're doing whatever you can to make your life better! i wish that i was as strong as you are. but i'm not. i never have been. i don't think it's possible for me to ever be. and i'm so sorry for that. i shouldn't have pushed all my problems on to you. i don't blame you if i played a part in why you ran away. i know i've always been nothing but a nuisance and an annoyance. i've tried so hard to change it, i've tried more than anything to be better. but nothing worked. nothing ever works. so, it's my turn to say goodbye to you. i'm so sorry aubrey. i'm sorry for how much i've made your life worse. i'm sorry for making you deal with a burden like me. you're such a good person, aubs. you didn't deserve it at all. so i'm taking myself out of the picture. i can't keep on living knowing everything i've done. everyone i've hurt. how much of a complete waste of air i am. i just can't. but please, don't blame yourself! you had no hand in this at all. i actually think you leaving was the wake up call i needed from myself to finally just... do it. so i guess i should really be thanking you? i don't know. but what i do know is that i love you so much, dude. take care of yourself. chase what makes you happy! i'll see you on the other side someday. best friends forever?

love, your best buddy, Kel.

No.

No, no, no no no no no-

Aubrey felt her whole entire body turn into ice, and her heart practically exploded as she stood there, staring blanky at Kel's goodbye. Her stomach was in knots, head spinning as she read and reread and reread the message. There was no way. He couldn't have. He didn't. He absolutely couldn't have.

She didn't really know what possessed her to do it, but before Aubrey could succumb to the nausea that swirled inside of her, or to the tidal wave of tears swelling behind her eyes, she clicked on Kel's contact and pressed the call button. Panic began to overwhelm her and her breathing grew unsteady as she listened to the ringing tone repeat over and over again, hands shaking as she held the phone to her ear.

“C'mon, pick up. Pick up the fucking phone. Pick it up!” Aubrey barked, her voice cracking as small tears began to trickle slowly down her cheeks.

“Hey hidey ho, you've reached the cell phone of Kel Rodriguez! I'm not here right now, so I'm probably out doing something stupid. Call me back later, or leave a message! Kel, out!”

Aubrey swallowed hard to suppress the bile that rose in her throat as she listened to Kel's voicemail greeting fill her ears. She tore the phone away from her ear, slamming the end call button before calling him again. She didn't know why she was doing it. Deep down, she knew that nobody would answer.

But damn it, if she wasn't going to try.

The phone rang again. And again. And again.

“Hey hidey ho, you've reached the cell phone of Kel Rodriguez! I'm not here right now, so I'm probably out doing something stupid. Call me back later, or leave a message! Kel, out!”

Hang up. Call him back. Listen to the ringing.

“Hey hidey ho, you've reached the cell phone of Kel Rodriguez! I'm not here right now, so I'm probably out doing something stupid. Call me back later, or leave a message! Kel, out!”

Hang up. Call him back. Listen to the ringing.

“Hey hidey ho, you've reached the cell phone of Kel Rodriguez! I'm not here right now, so I'm probably out doing something stupid. Call me back later, or leave a message! Kel, out!”

With each desperate attempt to reach her friend, Aubrey's ability to keep herself in check was chipped away at, and when she was finally sent to voicemail for the fifth time, she broke. A loud sob escaped her lips, and she fell to her knees on the floor, gripping her phone in her hand so hard her knuckles went white. Fat, salty tears plopped down onto the screen as she hyperventilated and sobbed, unsure of what to do. He had to be alive. He had to be alive. He had to still be alive.

Aubrey was barely able to collect herself enough to release her vice grip on her phone, already shaking hands now trembling so hard she could barely hold the damn thing. She wanted more than anything to find out if he was okay. No, she needed to.

Finally finding the strength within herself to try again, Aubrey switched away from Kel's contact, instead clicking on Hero's. At this point, she didn't care what he thought about her running away. He was her only point of contact to the Rodriguez family, and she didn't feel like waiting to get information through Basil, who might not have even found anything out himself yet.

Tears continued to drop onto Aubrey's phone as she clicked the call button.

Her phone rang. And it rang. And it rang. Aubrey felt like she was going to pass out. But finally, finally, there was a soft click, and she heard the sound of a voice on the other end. However, it didn't belong to who she was expecting it to.

”Hero, what the fuck is going on!?“ Aubrey practically yelled, unable to hide the pure fear and desperation in her speech.

“Um... h-hi Aubrey.”

The voice Aubrey heard was not Hero. It was Basil. So he did know something.

“Basil? What the fuck- why are you- what the hell happened!?”

Basil didn't say anything for a solid ten seconds. Beyond that silence, Aubrey could hear the sound of other, unrecognizable voices speaking very seriously amongst one another, as well as the sounds of multiple sirens wailing. Beyond that, there was one other thing. The sound of a man crying. Hero.

“Basil, say something! Please, god, just tell me!” She cried out, even though she already knew the answer to her question.

“Kel... he... Kel-“ Basil started, then choked on his words, a loud sniffle sounding through the speaker. His voice was cracked and raw like he too had been crying. Aubrey wanted to throw her phone at a wall.

“Kel's dead. He... he took his own life. I d-don't know why. I... I can't understand why. He… of all p-people...” Basil finally croaked, clearly on the verge of his own breakdown. “He's just. Gone. He's gone.”

There was little Aubrey could do at that point to stop herself from letting out the loudest shriek of total anguish that had ever escaped her body. The last time she'd felt this way was when Mari passed away. Never again did Aubrey think it was possible to experience such pure, unadulterated heartbreak.

Hearing this from the other side of the phone, Basil remained silent for a moment as Aubrey cried her heart out. When she finally paused to suck in a breath, he spoke again.

“I-I'm sorry. I… I can’t right now. I have to go. B-but, please, if you can... come back home. Please, Aubrey. I think it w-would mean a lot to Hero if you were here f-for Kel’s...”

Basil trailed off without finishing his sentence. Good. Aubrey didn't want to hear the word funeral anyways. There was silence between the two teens as Aubrey began to sob again, bidding Basil a barely understandable goodbye before he hung up the phone. There was little she could do to console herself as the information Aubrey had just received fully sunk in.

Kel really went and did it. She never, not even for one second, thought this would really happen. And yet it had.

Kel had committed suicide.

Another loud howl of misery escaped Aubrey as Kim suddenly burst out of the bathroom in her pajamas, a shocked look of confusion and worry gracing her features.

“Woah, Aubs! What the hell happened? Are you okay?” She questioned, running to where her girlfriend had collapsed on the floor and dropping down next to her.

Aubrey couldn't get a single word out to explain. Her chest heaved as she bawled, snot and tears trailing down her red, splotchy face. She was struggling to breathe from how hard she was crying, but was still able to muster the ability to point at her phone. Kim reached for it, pulling Aubrey's curled up form against her as she opened up the messaging app.

Kim went silent. Aubrey continued to weep as she set down the phone, quietly pulling her all the way into her lap so she could fully wrap her arms around the shattered girl before her. Slowly, she began to rub comforting circles on Aubrey's back, remaining quiet. She knew that there was nothing she could say that would be of any help in that moment.

Finally, after what felt like ages, Aubrey was able to bring herself together enough to say something.

“We have to go back, Kim” She blubbered, repeating the sentiment over and over again as the aforementioned girl held her tight. She couldn't be sure if she was talking about going back home, or going back in time to stop herself from ever running away. Probably both. Definitely both.

“We will, Aubs. For now, though... we don't have to do anything.”

Aubrey's head was pounding. The world was spinning. Her mind felt like it wasn't a part of her body anymore. The guilt of having left Kel like that, on a whim with no real thoughts about repercussions, tore her apart from the inside out.

Even when she returned to Faraway, it wouldn't change a thing. As much as she yearned to, Aubrey truly couldn't go back. And it killed her to know that.

_______

The motel clock sitting beside her flashed irritatingly in Aubrey’s face as she rolled around in bed restlessly. She wanted nothing more than to punch the damn thing off her nightstand.

“Aubs, you okay..?” Kim questioned from beside her, putting a hand on Aubrey’s waist. She already knew the answer, but wanted to give her the opportunity to talk about it more if she wanted. Aubrey rolled over. Tears tracks stained her still blotchy and reddened face.

“Why did he have to be so fucking selfish?” Aubrey croaked. She didn’t really mean that, but didn’t know what else to say.

“Don’t say that, Aubs.”

“He knew he could come to me. I talked to him. He said he trusted me. Why didn’t that fucking idiot just call me instead of up and offing himself?”

“I dunno. It… it ain’t like I really knew him. At least not as well as you did.”

Aubrey felt her throat tighten. She wanted to scream as loud as her lungs would allow.

”Didn’t that stupid jerk realize we would miss him?”

Instead of responding, Kim simply pulled Aubrey against her like she had earlier, wrapping the shaking girl in a warm embrace as she once again cried her heart out. All the anger Aubrey was feeling quickly fizzled out and devolved into sobbing, much akin to how she had cried earlier that day. She hated it. She was sick of feeling so angry. She was sick of the way things just seemed to get worse, not better.

But most of all, Aubrey was sick of grieving her friends. They were all too young to be dying so soon.

_______

That week dragged on longer than Aubrey ever thought possible. The funeral was planned rather quickly, so by the time her and Kim’s stay at the motel expired, it would be just a day later. So, Kim booked them tickets home. Aubrey spent all of her time curled up in bed, barely speaking or moving. She wondered if this was what Hero was doing with all his time after Mari passed. She couldn’t blame him. If she hadn’t been so young, so angry, she surely would’ve ended up in the same place. And she sure as hell was there now.

When the time came to go, the bus ride back to Faraway was harrowing. But the funeral itself was much worse.

Upon arrival to the church, Aubrey immediately felt out of her element. Just standing outside the doors made her stomach fill with dread again. Even the way Kim squeezed her hand comfortingly didn’t help ease the ache within her chest. The last time she had set foot inside that building, it was at her greatest moment of vulnerability. Now? She was there to say goodbye forever to one of her best friends, for the second time in under six years.

Nothing good ever came out of that rotten building. Nonetheless, Aubrey stepped inside, ignoring the way her heart thundered against her ribs.

Immediately, her chest squeezed as she gazed around the gloomy interior of the church. The room was filled with friends and unfamiliar faces alike. At the front, conversing with the preacher, stood Hero and Kel’s parents. Sunny and Basil sat side by side in one of the pews, whispering and doing their best not to cry. Basil was failing, and Sunny had a hand on his shoulder. Surprisingly, the hooligans were there, huddled together and looking solemn. Even Mikhael’s family had been invited - his twin siblings stood next to one another and did their best to comfort those around them who were more familiar with the Rodriguez family. It didn’t seem to be working very well. Aubrey felt the uncomfortable tug of tears well up behind her eyes, but decided to ignore the feeling and instead look for Hero. Kim took the hint that this was something she needed to do alone and split off to regroup with the hooligans.

With a deep, slow inhale and a wipe of her eyes, Aubrey traversed down the old carpet walkway. She scanned the area around her until she spotted a familiar mess of brown hair standing by the door that led to the graveyard, head turned to gaze out the window.

Hero was alone. He looked completely defeated.

Aubrey couldn’t blame him - after all, he had lost both the love of his life and his dear younger brother in the span of five years alone.

“Hey, Hero.”

Startling out of his depressed daze, Hero looked Aubrey in the eyes and made himself smile. Something about it made her want to curse and yell. Hero’s smiles never looked that forced.

“Aubrey. You came back. I didn’t know if you were actually gonna come.”

“I may have run away, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna skip out on-” Aubrey paused, trying to think of a kind way to phrase ‘the funeral of my best friend and your brother.’ It didn’t come, so instead of finishing her sentence, she found herself trailing off. Hero knew what she was getting at, and looked down with a weak nod. She could see the tear tracks on his face glisten under the dim lighting.

There were a few beats of awkward, painful silence, before Hero took the initiative and spoke again. His voice was wavering like he would crack at any moment.

“The service is starting soon.”

“Right. I’ll go find a place to sit.”

“Okay.”

That was seemingly the end of their painful interaction. Aubrey gave Hero an empathetic look before turning around to find Kim once more, then go talk to Sunny and Basil. However, before she could, Hero took a step forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned around in confusion, hard expression softening when she saw Hero had begun crying again.

“Will… will you and everyone else sit with me while my parents are giving their eulogy? I know I’m twenty, I’m a fully grown adult and I should be able to handle this, but-”

“Hey. Don’t gimme any of that bullcrap. You’re grieving. All of us are. He was your brother, Hero. Being an adult doesn’t mean you have to keep it together when you’re hurting this much. I’ll get Sunny and Basil, mkay? You just take care of yourself for the moment. This… this has gotta hurt enough as it is.”

Referring to Kel in the past tense left an extremely sour taste in Aubrey’s mouth. She did her best to ignore it.

“...Thank you, Aubrey.”

“Don’t mention it. You’re the one who said we aren’t gonna make the same mistakes again, yeah? So we aren’t gonna leave you behind. I didn’t listen to that and… well. Whatever. You know what I mean.”

Aubrey was glad she had managed to cut herself off, as she didn’t want to impart her guilt for running away on to the heartbroken man before her. He seemed grateful that she didn’t, smiling a bit more genuinely as she turned away for real this time to go track down the remaining members of their once tight knit friend group.

Right then and there, Aubrey decided that she wasn’t going to cry or waste away in bed any more, nor let herself be angry at Kel for being ‘selfish’ and leaving them the way that he did. She couldn’t hold on to all her sorrow forever. Instead of making the same mistakes she had millions of times before, she was going to take a new leap and learn to not run away from this.

However, that didn’t change the fact that she and Kim were going to leave again once the funeral was over. Faraway Town was the one thing she was okay with running away from.

_______

Before Aubrey knew it, a month had gone by since Kel’s passing. Then, another month, and Hero was now living with Kim and herself in a cramped but comfortable apartment a solid days drive away from Faraway Town in Nearby City, close to his college.

By then, she thought she should’ve been doing better. She shouldn’t have winced every time she heard Kel’s name, nor cried herself to sleep when she recalled all the fond times they shared together as children. She shouldn’t have resented herself for running away, even though she returned for Kel’s funeral. She shouldn’t have continued to blame herself, even though Kel had told her not to. She should have been fine.

Aubrey was not fine.

It was three a.m., and she was staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, an unreadable expression upon her face. Something had to change. She couldn’t stand looking into the eyes of the girl who had run away and left her friend to suffer from the very thing he feared the most. Being alone.

The drawer flung open, and she dug through it aimlessly until a pair of scissors brushed her fingertips. Perfect.

Aubrey watched herself blankly in the reflective glass as she tied her long, faded pink hair into a ponytail, then bunched her fist tightly around it.

Snip.

She felt better after that.
_______

On a particularly blustery July morning, four months after Kel’s untimely passing, Aubrey awoke to a knock at her bedroom door. She sat up, ruffling her chin length hair and yawning loudly as she tried to shake the last remnants of sleep from her weary body. Whoever it was knocked again, and she peeled the covers off of herself to go open the door. Unsurprisingly, Hero stood on the other side. He looked completely exhausted, but then again, he always looked exhausted now. Aubrey wasn’t sure she’d seen him look or act genuinely happy since the funeral.

“Mornin, Hero. What’s up…?” She questioned, punctuating her sentence with a yawn. Hero kept his gaze to the side.

“Hey, Aubrey. Sorry if I woke you up, but I have a question.” As Hero spoke, Aubrey took a good look at him. He wasn’t dressed for work, so it must have been one of his off days. He hadn’t gotten a hair cut since Kel passed either, so his hair was now around the same length as her own, tied up in a low and messy bun. He also hadn’t shaved, and had grown a substantial amount of facial hair in the months that had gone by. Not to mention he wore his glasses every day now, which he had never done in their youth. He appeared so different. It felt strange to view him as so… adult. She didn’t dwell on it, though. If she did, she might have cried over the loss of her childhood and friends again.

“Mm. What’s up?”

“I’m, uh… going to visit the Faraway cemetery today.”

Aubrey felt her veins run ice cold. He must have been going to visit Kel and Mari’s graves. She understood why, but just the thought made her want to slam the door in his face. She still didn’t want to face it head on.

“Why? I thought you said you weren’t going back either.” She questioned, the discomfort clear in her voice. Hero shoved his hands in his pockets.

“I felt like it would be doing a disservice to Mari and… him if I didn’t go back at least once, y’know? Especially because I ran away so much when Mari first died. I don’t want to make that same mistake.”

Aubrey’s chest panged. She hated to admit it, but she felt the same way.

“I guess that makes sense. And I’m assuming you want me to come with you?”

Hero nodded. “If you want to. I won’t force you, of course, but-”

“I’ll come.”

Aubrey wasn’t sure what it was that caused her to make such a firm and quick decision, but either way, she felt as if it was the correct choice. She used to regularly visit Mari before she had left, even after the truth had come to light, so it felt wrong to not stop by every now and again. On the other side of the coin, she hadn’t visited Kel once since he died. It was a fact that gnawed away at her heart every day. Even if they had their fair share of confrontations, she wasn’t going to stoop so low as to not visit him. She didn’t care that it meant going back to Faraway again.

“Oh. Okay, good. We’re, uh, leaving in thirty minutes then. If that’s okay.” Hero said, a bit shocked at her choice.

She nodded. “Mmkay. I’ll be ready soon, I just have to text Kim. Also... I think Basil would want to know that we’re there. I’m sure he’s lonely. Is it, y’know, okay if I call him?”

Hero seemed apprehensive for just a brief moment, but nodded in silent agreement. He had been there to comfort him and pass the message along to Aubrey on the day of the incident after all, so most harsh feelings he carried towards the true nature of Mari’s death had already come to pass. With that, the door was closed, and Aubrey got to work dressing herself and alerting Kim of where she would be going.

Then came time to inform Basil.

Aubrey was reluctant to call him at first, as the last time they had faced one another was the funeral, but pressed the call button anyways. He picked up rather quickly, and actually seemed quite excited at the prospect that his friends were returning to visit, and offered them a place to stay so they didn’t have to drive all night. Aubrey’s intuition was correct - Basil was incredibly lonely. She was glad that they would be able to offer him some form of comfort with their presence. He had been her first friend, after all. Through everything, he had somehow kept himself alive too, which was something Aubrey feared that he wouldn’t be able to do for a long time. Especially after Kel. Yet, somehow, after all the time that had passed, he remained. Aubrey would forever be beyond thankful he was able to start getting better, even if it was going to be a longer journey after everything that had happened since March.

Soon, the call ended, and Aubrey and Hero made their way to his car. The ride back to Faraway was silent, but not uncomfortable. It was really just because neither of the pair really had anything to say to one another. Usually they were able to enjoy each other's presence, and they still got along just fine, but Hero had definitely gotten more closed off. He was still himself, but he wasn’t the Hero that Aubrey remembered from her childhood. Just another thing to add to the list of thoughts she liked to push away.

Towards the evening, they arrived and met up with Basil outside his home. He was the only living member of their once inseparable group who hadn’t moved away yet, so they parked in his driveway and walked together as a trio to the church. All three of them grew more tense as the building's doors were pushed open.

Colorful rays of light from the stained glass windows danced across the familiar old carpet walkway as the group made their way towards the graveyard entrance. Basil and Aubrey chatted casually and quietly back and forth as they traversed the rows of pews, but Hero remained silent. Neither of them could blame him.

As the back door creaked open, Aubrey steeled herself with a deep breath. It was time.

Kel and Mari had been buried near one another by complete coincidence, their headstones merely one space apart. As the group of three walked there, however, Hero began to lag behind, and Aubrey soon found herself leading the charge. When they arrived at the row that Mari and Kel were buried in, she looked over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow. Hero shrugged sheepishly.

“Sorry. I just… I don't know if I’m ready to face them yet.”

“Take your time.” Basil said softly. Hero smiled in thanks.

They arrived shortly there after, standing in line next to one another in silence. A gentle breeze tussled the trees, and tufts of dandelion seeds floated aimlessly through the quiet afternoon air.

Our dearest Mari. The sun shined brighter when she was here.

Here rests our Kelsey. His spark will never burn out.

Aubrey wanted to scowl at “our Kelsey.” His parents didn’t deserve any sort of claim over him anymore. Nonetheless, she was the first to speak, stepping forward.

“Hey, Kel. It’s been a while.” She began, feeling her throat tighten. “Sorry I didn’t come back to say hi sooner. I told myself I wouldn’t come back to Faraway, but… I guess I couldn’t stay away forever. Everyone really misses you. I wish… I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from running away. Maybe then you wouldn’t have decided to leave us like you did. I hope that wherever you are, you’re happy now. I’ll always regret that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I try not to blame myself for what happened, but I know I played a part in it. I wish every day that I could take back leaving you behind like that. You’re still my best friend, Kel. I-i… I love you, dude. More than I could ever say.”

Aubrey swallowed back tears as Basil smiled wearily at her. “That was beautiful, Aubrey.”

“Shut up.” She retorted, sniffling, yet smiling back at him all the same.

Basil took his turn to say something to both Mari and Kel after that. He didn’t speak for long (especially not to Mari,) but what words he did say were incredibly heartfelt. Aubrey could feel the tug of tears behind her eyes grow stronger.

It was Hero’s turn last. He didn’t seem like he was quite ready, but forced himself to talk anyways, as he wasn’t the type of person to leave without saying anything.

“Hi, Mari. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Sorry for leaving you here in Faraway. I just… needed to get out of here after everything that happened. I hope you’re well, wherever you are.” He spoke, voice strained. Then, he turned to face Kel’s grave. Tears began to roll down his cheeks as his face twisted into an expression of pure grief.

“And Kel… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. I’m sorry I wasn’t a good enough brother. I’m sorry that you felt like this was the only way out. I miss you every day, and I wish I had shown you better how much I love you. You’re joy incarnate, Kel. Nothing is the same without you there to brighten up the room.”

Aubrey could feel tears of her own finally breach past the surface as Hero continued his little speech. Basil was crying as well.

“If I could go back and change anything, I would make sure that I never yelled at you like I did. I would make sure I listened to you, and watched out for you after we lost Mari. You’re my family. I should have been there for you when you were hurting. I should have been a better brother to you. There are so many things I wish I could change. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Kel. Please forgive me.”

Hero cut himself off with a muffled sob, and Aubrey and Basil quickly came together to comfort him, as well as one another. Together, the trio of friends cried, holding each other close as they let their grief consume them for just a little while. It was then and there that something she’d chosen to ignore for years really hit Aubrey, and as they all sobbed together under the gentle light of the newly risen moon, she finally decided to accept it. No more running away from her feelings. No more running away from the truth that she never wanted to accept.

A cool breeze wafted through the night air, tousling Aubrey’s hair. She let out a deep, shuddering breath, feeling the weight of the world settle upon her weary shoulders.

Nothing would ever be the same again.