Chapter Text
Dick knows he’s in trouble. He even kind of knew it before he launched himself at the chandelier in the foyer. But he figured it would be the Dick, I’ve told you before not to climb on the furniture, no dessert tonight kind of trouble and not the Oh God my leg is stuck in the metalwork of this chandelier and it’s also kind of way higher up than I thought it’d be and now I can’t get down kind of trouble. In Dick’s defense! Chandeliers don’t count as furniture! It’s true, he read it in Alfred’s Guide to the Upkeep and Maintenance of Atypical Decor book. It’s a “decorative lighting structure.”
This distinction, while it may help Dick later when he argues with Bruce about this whole thing because sometimes Bruce thinks it’s funny when Dick catches him out on technicalities, it does not help Dick’s current situation.
He experimentally moves the leg caught between the curving metal bars, wincing when they further pinch his skin, and sighs, letting himself hang, arms dangling down towards the rug far below. He’ll probably just have to wait until Alfred and Bruce get back from the courthouse where they’re doing boring foster care paperwork or whatever. But that could be hours! It’s a long drive into the city from the Manor, so what if they decide to run other errands while they’re out?
Dick groans, resigning himself to his fate, when suddenly, he remembers—Uncle Clark! Surely this is just the kind of thing Bruce was talking about when he told Dick about Superman and Uncle Clark’s powers. And Dick might even be able to talk him out of telling Bruce, allowing him to get away scot-free from this embarrassing stunt. Next time, he’ll try the chandelier in the second living room. It’s way lower.
Dick wets his lips, takes a deep breath, and yells, as loud as he can, “UNC—I mean, SUPERMAN!!! I NEED HELP!!!”
His voice echoes in the foyer, and the little crystal teardrops at the ends of the chandelier sway and tinkle with his exertion. For a long moment, nothing happens. Maybe he needs to yell louder? Metropolis is pretty far away. He’s just opening his mouth again when there’s a loud crash, like breaking glass, somewhere on Dick’s left, and a huge gust of wind, causing the chandelier to sway again. Then a man in a bright blue suit with a huge red S stamped on his chest is floating right in front of him, looking very harried.
“Dick!! Oh my gosh, are you okay? You’re injured, aren’t you, oh God, you’re gonna die and then I’ll have to tell Bruce and—shoot, did you hit your head? Spinal injuries?” His blue eyes get sort of even more blue for a second.
Dick blinks. He slowly says, “You’re… not Uncle Clark…”
The man frowns, a single curl of his black hair plastered to his forehead. “I’m not…?” he says, confused, and then, “Oh!” He digs around in a pocket on his red belt for a second, coming up with a pair of glasses, which he then puts on.
Dick blinks again. “Whoa.” In his defense! He’s only met Uncle Clark twice, and he was working both times! Interviewing Bruce at events! Dick’s seen pictures of Superman, in the paper, but they weren’t in color and even though Bruce told him it was the same person, it didn’t really… click. Until now.
Honestly, now that Dick’s looking at him up close, Superman is… cool. He’s flying! That’s so cool! His cape is red and lighter-looking than Bruce’s black one, and the big S must stand for Superman, of course, which is way cooler than a stupid bat, which you can’t even see half the time ‘cause it’s too dark. Dick wonders, with a guilty twist of his stomach, Is Superman cooler than Batman?
“Yes,” Superman says, slipping off the glasses and putting them away. “It’s just me. But Dick, what’s wrong? You’re not hurt?” He looks less panicked, now, and more confused.
“Oh!” Dick says, and glances up at his leg, which has pretty much gone numb. “I’m stuck.”
Superman blinks. “You’re… stuck.”
Dick nods, which is kind of hard to do upside-down, but he manages. “My leg’s caught. See?” He wiggles it again, and Superman goes pale when the chandelier sways.
“Right! Right, I see. You’re stuck. Okay, let me just—” he floats delicately around behind Dick, examining the space where his leg is. “Okay,” he says after a second, “I’m gonna push your leg back towards you, so you'll have to hang on with your hands, so you don’t fall. Then I’ll come back around to get you and lower you down. Is that alright?”
Dick cheerfully upside-down nods again. “Sounds great!” He levers himself up and holds onto the sturdiest-looking part of the structure, which is the middle bar. “Ready!”
Superman still looks a little nervous, but true to his word he moves Dick’s leg carefully back towards him, the metal creaking a tiny bit as he bends it to free the limb. Damn it. Alfred will definitely notice that, even if Bruce doesn’t. He sighs dejectedly as Superman carries him back to the ground.
“Are you alright?” he asks again.
Dick shakes his head. “Oh sure, I’m just dreading Alfie and Bruce getting home. They’re gonna be so mad. They tell me all the time not to climb the furniture.”
Superman squints up at the chandelier, setting Dick down on his feet. “Well, isn’t it more of a light fixture than furniture?”
Dick grins. “Yeah! Exactly!” Remembering his manners, he adds, “Thank you Uncle Clark!”
Clark smiles back, but it fades after a second. He drops to one knee in front of Dick, brow furrowed. “Dick, did Bruce tell you… I mean, he told you to call me in… urgent situations, right?”
Dick nods (more easily now that he’s rightside-up). “Yup!”
Clark smiles again, a little awkwardly. “…Right.”
“That’s why I called just now! Thanks for coming!” Dick grins again.
Clark squints a little, again. Dick wonders if he really needs his glasses to see. “Right. Sure. I’m always… happy to help.” He stands up, brushing his knees off. “Do you need anything else, Dick?”
“Nope,” Dick shakes his head, “all good!”
Clark nods once, says, “Alright then. Be careful, now,” and flies out. Dick follows him after a second, and stops dead in the entrance to the den. Shattered glass glitters on the hardwood, and a chill breeze blows in from the now-permanently open window.
He’s so in trouble.