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“ Viera. ”
It was a name that has never sat right for him. A name he wished was not given to him on the day of his birth. But that name has become so loved by everyone around him that they would chant his name every time he goes out of the castle with his father. The cold old figure who stands tall, accompanied by hundreds of knights to protect his Majesty.
His father, never once has he seen him look anxious or uncomfortable being watched by all of the citizens of Philo. He looks confident, calm, and collected. Not even the wind can sway his strong stance.
Viera thought, maybe that's just how a king should be. How a king should act. It’s part of his role as the powerful symbol of their kingdom. And just like him, as the princess , Viera is supposed to do what a princess must do.
Become elegant, beautiful, soft-spoken, and always well dressed. For years he has to take many kinds of classes on how to become a ‘proper’ princess . If not, he will taint his father’s image.
All of those expectations put upon him makes him a very closed-off person since he was very young. Self-awareness grew and made one too critical of oneself, of whatever step he should take, what words he should utter, what kind of dresses he’s supposed to wear on each occasion, etc. Etc.
Sometimes, he thought about not wearing any dress at all. Sometimes, he doesn't feel like dancing in the ballroom to accompany those men from the other royal families. Sometimes he… doesn't want to be perceived as if he had never existed to begin with. Even just speaking is becoming harder and harder for him.
It’s not like he’s losing the ability to speak. He just doesn't want to listen to his own voice. It hurts his ears and… something inside of him he can’t quite verbalize. It sounds… wrong . As if it’s a voice that’s not supposed to be his.
“Hey, you okay?”
Evryn, his closest knight, is the only one who sees him more than just the crown. His smile is soft while trying to hide the worry. Evryn must have noticed him being out of it for a while.
“I’m fine.” Viera looks away, avoiding eye contact with Evryn. “I’m just… thinking about things…”
The stroke of the brush along his long white hair is moved with the right precision and gentleness. Despite being a knight, it’s clear that he’s skilled in other things that don't involve his strength. Normally this is a job for the maids, but this time around Viera asked Evryn to do it for him (an excuse to have Evryn stick around longer) .
“Mhm.. you know you can always talk to me, right? Princess .”
Viera doesn’t answer. The air went silent. In between the strokes of his hair and the soft sunlight illuminating from the window of his room, a sigh could be heard escaping from Evryn’s lips.
“You know… “ Evryn stops, paying attention to the white strands on his palm before he continues, “I can’t help but notice that your expression turns very bitter whenever I bring up your title, Princess .”
That caused a subtle reaction from the princess. His body flinched a bit, then he dropped his head down.
As always, his knight is quite perceptive.
Out of Evryn’s sight, Viera is biting his lip, his fist clenching on his dress skirt trying to contain his discomfort. He can neither confirm nor deny, mainly because Viera thought whatever he is currently feeling is abnormal . His heart is thumping uncontrollably out of anxiety, it is an understatement if he says this situation doesn’t make him almost nauseous.
There are sounds of clacking of the knight’s heels circling around in the quiet room of his slumber. Viera gulped, hiding his face from the Knight's line of sight.
“Viera. Look at me.”
Evryn is kneeling in front of him, one hand on his chest as a sign of respect. “I sense some negative emotions from you. As your royal knight, I’m here to serve and protect you. Have I said or done anything that hurt you?”
Evryn’s expression is full of tenderness with the faintest smile, trying his best to reassure the Princess that he’ll be there however and whenever he needs him. Seeing this, Viera scratches his head in frustration. He thought about the proper words he should use to answer his Knight's question, overthinking all the possible outcomes if he tells him the truth.
“It’s just… being a Princess… I don’t quite enjoy it.”
“How so?” Evryn tilted his head.
“It doesn’t suit me.”
“But it is your duty, as the daughter of The Majesty––”
“I know! I get it! It’s my responsibility!” In a sudden surge of anger, the Princess stood up from his seat. “I’m not saying that I want to run away from all this! I just…”
Evryn slowly rose and walked closer to him. “So, what would you like to be?”
There is no answer, only the stillness of the air once more.
“As I’ve seen from all these years I’ve been beside you, you’ve done your obligations amazingly as the Princess of this kingdom. I know your anxiety has been getting worse as of late, but fret not, Princess . I will always be there to support you, so does everyone else in this castle.”
Evryn reached out for the Princess’ shoulder, holding it firmly. Viera finally looks up to him with teary eyes. The knight panicked upon seeing the unexpected sad reaction, “Oh, I’m sorry. Was I too pushy?”
Before Evryn could retract his hand away, Viera grabs onto it and grips it tight in its place. “Would you still support me if I said… If I said I don’t want to be a woman!?” His voice was shaking. Tears started to stream down his cheeks. Viera looks scared. So vulnerable and frightened. He had tried his best to contain it for so long. It feels as if he’s pretending to be someone else that is not him, which is eating him inside. This buried furry from the displeasure of seeing his biological body and the discomfort of being in a skin that doesn’t fit with the idolized version of himself, it’s all a build up from years and years of an act of pretend.
Perhaps Viera was waiting for a laugh of mockery, or perhaps he was waiting for the usual scolding from his knight for acting childishly. He had closed off his ears with both hands, eyes shut close, fearful of what’s to come. But what he got was a warm calloused hand caressing his cheek, wiping his tears away. “I don’t understand why you need to cry. I thought what you were going to say was something of a more serious matter that can cause danger to the kingdom of Philo.”
“What?” The Princess now looks visibly confused by his Knight’s response.
“If you want to become a man, then be a man.”
“I can’t just do that… it’s not that simple.”
“Why?”
“Because!”
To Evryn, the concept of gender is something that shouldn’t be binding. Evryn is a biologically engineered human made as a weapon. In a way, he is human. But unlike the common human there is, although he’s made of flesh and blood, his mind is full of codings. The only reason he can show and feel emotions is by studying those around him. He is built to act like an ordinary human, to blend with society, so that no one would realize he’s an anomaly among them –– a killing machine that can kill his enemies in an instant . Still, there are some societal constructs he can yet fully understand the reason behind them, one of them being the concept of genders .
“Humans are humans. They are to me, the same. No matter if they are a man, a woman, or something else entirely. Your biological sex shouldn’t be what defines you.” As Evryn speaks, he walks towards the Princess’ dressing table. He grabs an unused scissor then walks back towards the Princess.
“Please sit back down for me.”
And so Princess did, a bit hesitant at first.
“What are you planning to do?”
“Will you trust me?”
Just a simple nod from him is enough approval from the Princess t. Evryn starts to do his work. The sharp blades of the scissor cut through the thin layers of white hair.
Moments pass, about a couple of minutes or so. Viera’s previous turmoil had calmed down a bit, thanks to Evryn’s soft humming and his quick hands reshaping the once long hair to a shorter and clean cut. Evryn didn't forget to brush off the strands that had fallen on his nape and shoulders before bringing him a small mirror.
“How is it?” Evryn asked, a hint of excitement could be heard from his tone.
Viera audibly gasped. The reflection of himself in the mirror astonished him. He looks like how he always imagined himself to be. It almost made him tear up again.
“How…? I didn't know you could do this, Evryn.”
“A very long time ago I had jobs where I needed to disguise myself and change my identity. From that I learned a lot of things on how to make myself appear differently for my missions.”
“Does it ever make you feel scared of how people will perceive you for looking a certain way unlike how you're supposed to?”
Evryn couldn't help but chuckle hearing Viera’s question. In a sense of endearment, he ruffles his Highness’ hair. “My Prince, I couldn't care less. I wear what I want to wear, I am what I want to be. I’m not going to follow what the masses say.”
My Prince — it wasn't a misheard, right? My Prince. His Prince. So this is what it feels like to be seen, to be heard. Viera looks back to see Evryn whispering to a maid who was called in. The maid nods in confirmation to whatever Evryn is telling her to do then she exits the room in a hurry.
“I told her to bring you the male Knight's uniform.”
“What!? Is that really okay?” Viera stood up in bewilderment. He’s still not used to how how supportive Evryn is right now. It’s very different from what he was expecting.
“Relax. You’re going to be alright.”
“A-Are you sure? I don’t think this is a good idea, I—”
“What do you mean? Isn't being a man what you desire?”
“It is! It’s just— I'm nervous. I’m scared.”
Sensing distress with how the Prince is shaking uncontrollably, by instinct Evryn ran towards him. “What's wrong? What are you afraid of, my Prince?”
“How am I supposed to tell them!? My citizens… the other guards, my classmates, the maids… and worst of all my father! They are going to think I’m crazy!”
“They won't.”
“How can you be so sure!?”
“I’ve lived longer than you. I’ve seen the evolution of human society from before the Earth's destruction to the rise of Philo.”
Viera seems to not be fully convinced yet. His furrowed brows have become more prominent. “Do I just… walk out? Like it’s nothing, then?”
“That’s all up to you. Whichever makes you comfortable.”
It didn’t take long for the previous maid to come back with the requested item. Evryn thanked the maid. He glanced back to his Prince, his hand extended to give the uniform to him. “How about this… Let’s try this on first, and then you can decide what you want to do next.”
At first, Viera was hesitant to receive it. But after giving it some thought, he reached out and took the fabric off the knight’s hand.
To be completely honest, Evryn actually already guessed this would happen from a mile away. After all, he is the only knight who had stood the closest to him, ever since Viera was just born. He had held him with his hand, watched him grow into an adult. Maybe Evryn didn’t realize it, or he chose to ignore it, but whenever Viera is forced to meet his suitors, deep within him there is a mix of jealousy and concern.
For one, he can obviously see how uncomfortable Viera is to have to amuse someone he barely knew. There were times when he just wanted to take him away, help him get out of that situation somehow. Not out of pity, but because he truly cares about him. So now, he’s glad to have the Prince being so honest and open towards him. There must have been so many conflicting feelings, a lot of internal fights with himself to finally let it all out. And to know that he’s the very first person that is shown this side of him… this has confirmed that the Prince trusts him the most. He will do whatever he can to never disappoint that trust that’s been given to him by the person he loves in the world.
“I’m glad you decided to accept who you truly are.” A sigh of relief followed with a proud smile. He ruffled his hair one more time before taking his temporary leave.
–––
“Evryn.” A stern voice calls out to the man who currently kneeled before him, his head bowed down in a sense of respect.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“Where is my daughter?” Although the king’s gaze is directed to where the knight is, he isn’t really paying much attention to him, as if deep in wonder. Evryn is usually very punctual, never once missing an order, because Evryn is made that way.
So, aware that his knight didn’t come to their meeting spot with his daughter like how he ordered him to do, of course it will result in many questions.
“He’s still in preparation, Your Majesty. Please give him some more time.”
“ He? ” The king raised an eyebrow by the change of pronouns. He didn’t try to question it any further however, there are other things that are more important to him. “I don’t know what games you both are playing, but now is not the time. I need her to come here quickly. Her new suitor will be arriving here shortly.”
Another one? –– Evryn thought. How many times has he done this? Evryn has lost count. It irritates him that the King hasn't given up on pushing his so-called ‘daughter’ to find a partner, all because he wants an heir for the throne.
It’s foolish for him. To think that humanity has evolved this far but most still stick to discriminating societal constructs, thinking that a woman won’t be able to be a strong and fair leader. He can’t protest about this, he has no rights to do so. Again, he is not programmed to refuse nor deny his superiors.
“He will come when the time is right.”
“Well time and tide wait for no man. Tell her if she’s not coming out of her room soon, I shall be the one who drag her here!”
“Your Majesty! ” He didn’t mean to raise his voice as he arose from his kneel. Evryn stares into those sharp blue-ish eyes, similar to the ones he’s too familiar with. This could probably count as his first ever try at being selfish. No matter. If he plays his cards right, The King might listen to him.
“You might not believe what I’m about to say, but Princess Viera is no more.”
He unbuttoned the suit he’s wearing and reached his hand inside to grab onto something he had kept for this moment.
“I killed her .”
“What!?”
In his hand, he reveals the white strands of hair owned by The Prince himself.
In an instant, blades are pointed right at his vital spots. There’s terror and fury in the eyes of the people surrounding him. Evryn stayed still. He looks composed on the outside, but he’s actually struggling to not make this a bigger mess. As much as he hates how arrogant and self-righteous The King is, at the end of the day, he can’t stop the oath that binds them.
“What did you do to her!?” As usual, the King prefers to observe from afar and let his guards do the dirty work. Evryn knows that with just a flick of his fingers, none of them would be reluctant to slit his throat open.
“You have mistaken, Your Majesty. I did not harm him.” Evryn’s glance back and forth at the different guards. He recognized all of them. After all, Evryn is the highest ranking knight, in a way he has a higher status than them. He was also the one responsible for teaching them before they officially received the title of a Royal Knight. He remembers all of their tactics, their weaknesses, and strengths more than anyone.
The King’s threat is useless on him, and His Majesty knows of this. This means The King is just trying to get a reaction out of him. But Evryn remains calm. He won’t let The King get his way.”
“I’m simply here to deliver a message. If you truly wish to see him, he has one condition you need to accept.” Evryn doesn’t falter. He speaks with a strong conviction.
“I want you to accept me as your Son , Father.”
The sudden arrival of the Prince was not part of his plan. He was pretty shocked to say it truthfully.
The Prince has finally formed into a proper Prince. White fabric of the knight uniform swayed with the wind blowing from the large windows of the castle. The Prince fixes his glove while he takes big steps towards the tall standing figure he calls as his Father.
It is a written rule that the rightful heir to the kingdom must be man. Being born as a female at birth had put him at many disadvantages. For example, he had always wanted to learn sword fighting so he had no choice but to secretly practice it himself. Any thoughts or opinion he utters results in ridicule which is what made him decide to shut his mouth. Half of the suitors are not half bad if only they see him as more than just a potential wife, he’d love to form normal friendships with them without getting pitied and treated like a snowflake.
He fully understands what he has to do now. No more doubt holding him back from using those useless rules as a weapon to get what he wants.
“You said you’ve always wanted a son, don’t you father? You should be happy that I’ve decided to be one.”
“You’re a woman!”
“I’m a man.” The Prince did not falter. Years he had lived, and this is the first he has ever looked at him eye to eye.
“As a man, I have the right to choose my own destiny!” He speaks with a strong conviction in his voice.
“Release him.”
The guards lowered their swords from his beloved knight as per The Prince’s order.
“This is ridiculous!” For once, The King decided to move. He breached the distance between him and his son. “Take those off, Viera! ”
One thing that Evryn and The King would never have guessed, is The Prince taking one of the knight’s swords and raising its tip towards his own father. “ Xavier . My name is Xavier .”
“You––” The King is blatantly sweating out of fear. He’s at a loss for words.
“What’s wrong, Father? Are you afraid? There’s plenty of guards near us. Why not use your authority against me?”
Perhaps because of the rising tension, The King for once doesn’t have any retort to say. All the other guards hadn't made a move, but they held on to the hilt of their sword in high alert.
The only guard who is not cautiously awaiting commands is Evryn. He kneeled, lowered his head, hand raised to chest as form of true respect and loyalty. “All hail Xavier, The Prince of Philo!”
Xavier grips the handle tighter and moves forward until the tip of his sword grazes The King’s neck. At this point on, all the other knights are starting to think their actions through. They are unsure of what to do. He is practically holding The King hostage, any wrong move might make The Prince explode in fury.
“Lower your swords.” –– After a long dead silence, The King finally let out a bombshell of an order.
It was definitely forced, like a rat cornered by a cat. Or maybe, just maybe , The King has a soft spot and couldn’t bear to see his child get hurt because of him.
They simultaneously let go of the hilt, a bit uncertain.
“You won, child.”
Xavier blinked, once, twice? He can’t remember. He almost couldn’t believe what he just heard. Slowly, he began lowering the sword in his hand.
The King turns around. Behind his desk there is a big window showing the huge land he’s ruling over. He walks closer towards the big window, eyes looking down at the hustle bustle of his citizens below.
Evryn could read the dilemma in the way The King behaves. He stands next to Xavier, giving him a look of worry. Xavier bitterly smiles at him to reassure that he’s doing alright.
“The coronation ceremony will start tomorrow.” Announced The King.
Following the next day, The Kingdom no longer calls him The Princess. They no longer call his forgotten name.
Cheers, music, and prayers given to him on the day of his new birth.
His citizens, knights, butlers, maids, royalties, everyone unite and chant his new name and title in unison, “All hail Xavier, The Prince of Philo!”
“All hail Xavier, The Prince of Philo!”
“All hail Xavier, The Prince of Philo!”
“All hail Xavier, The Prince of Philo!”
The Princess had been executed out of an attempt to assassinate The King. And by the power of the Gods above, he was reborn as The Prince of Philo.