Work Text:
It was a peaceful Sunday evening. Oikawa was sitting comfortably in the living room reading some magazines. His peace was disturbed by a knock on the door. Curious, he got up and went to see who paid him a visit this late. When he opened the door, he was stunned. It was Iwaizumi… in a catboy outfit.
"Hi cutie." said Iwa and closed the door. Oikawa came to his senses.
"Iwa-chan, what do you think about eating milk bread?" he asked.
"Okay, as long as you make it yourself." he answered and started playing games on his phone.
Oikawa noticed that his best friend was acting weird, but he decided to pay no mind to it. Right at that moment he had a more important thing to focus on - which was making milk bread.
He was so caught up with baking, that he didn’t notice when Iwaizumi came into the kitchen and hugged him from behind. At first it startled Oikawa, cause what if it was a kidnapper? Later however he remembered that Iwa was staying over and assumed it must be him.
He decided to shift his focus back to preparing milk bread when suddenly he felt his best friend's breath on his ear. He stopped breathing. Unexpectedly Iwaizumi said:
"You forgot to add milk."
He was right. When Oikawa looked at the kitchen counter he didn’t see any milk. He picked the bowl up and started crying. It was unusual for him to make mistakes while making milk bread. It was his favourite food after all…
"I'm a failure." Oikawa said, falling to his knees. He kept looking at the bowl while tears were streaming down his face. Iwaizumi kneeled right next to him, took Oikawa's face into his hands, looked him in the eyes, and said:
"No, you’re definitely not a failure." Iwa hugged him. "We just need to add some milk, that’s all."
"Really?" Asked Oikawa, slowly getting up.
"No." replied Iwaizumi. He then snatched the bowl from Oikawa’s hands and threw it out the window.
"How could you Iwa-chan! I trusted you!" he cried. Iwaizumi laughed bitterly and put his hand on Oikawa’s shoulder:
"Trusting me was the biggest mistake you have ever made."
At that moment something broke in Oikawa. All in tears he took a knife in his hand and started waving it in front of Iwaizumi’s face.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" he screamed as loud as he could. But Iwa was more cunning. He took out a gun and put it to Oikawa's temple. “It’s over” he thought, when suddenly he saw a mysterious figure standing behind his best friend. It was Ushijima:
"You should have gone to Shiratorizawa."
Oikawa screamed and threw the knife he was holding into the air. Iwaizumi did a flip so that the knife wouldn’t hit him then he aimed the gun at Ushijima:
"I won’t hesitate to shoot." he said. "Oikawa is mine only!"
Oikawa turned red upon hearing these words. This beautiful moment didn’t last long. In the span of a few seconds Ushijima was holding Iwaizumi’s weapon. Iwa was defenceless. All of the sudden Oikawa picked up the knife that was lying on the floor, and handed it to Iwaizumi:
"Here, I allow you to murder him." right after that he swiftly moved to the side. Iwaizumi put a knife to Ushijima’s throat. Everything would be beautiful, if it wasn’t for the fact that at the same time Ushijima aimed the gun at Iwaizumi.
"Shoot, you coward." said Iwa. "But if you do it, you will also die." he pressed the knife harder to Ushijima’s throat. There was silence. Both of them could die after all. The silence was interrupted by Oikawa’s sudden laugh. He took a butter dish and threw it towards Ushijima:
"Die, you motherfucker." he yelled.
Some butter got into Ushijima's eye. As a result, he dropped the weapon and started screaming in pain. Iwaizumi took advantage of this moment and hit Ushijima with a pan.
When he fell on the floor Oikawa took his smartphone and called 911. While calling he looked at his butter dish and realized that it needed help more than Iwaizumi or Ushijima, so he ran to his room for some glue to put it back together.
While trying to save his butter dish he heard a weird noise in the kitchen, so he went to look at what was happening there. When he entered the room, he saw Tendou trying to save Ushijima.
"Call the police!" yelled Iwaizumi.
"Shut up! I have priorities." yelled back Oikawa, hugging pieces of his butter dish.
"Holy shit." sighed Iwaizumi and started dialling the number himself.
But when he finally got through all he heard was “yolo,” so he got mad and threw the phone on the wall.
When it touched the wall, it blew up, leaving a big hole. Oikawa screamed and looked through it. There were two men on the other side - Bokuto and Akaashi dressed as police officers. They tried to go through the hole, but Bokuto’s ass was too fat.
After they finally managed to get inside the house Akaashi announced that they were going to arrest Ushijima.
"You cannot arrest him." Tendou yelled while getting a pocketknife from his bag.
"We are going to arrest you too if you don't put that down." said Bokuto. Tendou however didn’t want to give up so easily. Only after Bokuto barked he got scared and hid behind Ushijima.
"We have no other choice." said Akaashi. "We have to arrest you both."
Oikawa started watching them. Akaashi took out handcuffs. These weren’t your typical handcuffs though. They were pink and had some fur on them.
Someone barked. This time it was Tendou. To assert his dominance Bokuto barked even louder. Akaashi was moved. He was never as proud of Bokuto as he was at that moment.
After this touching demonstration of superiority Ushijima and Tendou got arrested. Akaashi and Bokuto led them out through the same hole they came in and went away into the setting sun.
Although some time had passed, Oikawa was still crying over his broken butter dish.
"Hey Shittykawa." said Iwaizumi. "I have something for you." he took a butter dish, identical to the broken one, from his pocket.
Oikawa was surprised. It didn’t stop him from throwing himself at Iwaizumi though:
"I also have one more thing for you." said Iwa while taking another thing from his pocket. It was milk bread.
"I-is this for me?" asked Oikawa.
This gesture really moved him. Especially since it was Iwaizumi, who did it.
"Yes." he replied. "I love you, Oikawa."
"I love you too." responded Oikawa.
They then got closer to each other and kissed against the backdrop of the setting sun.