Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first car ride to the Cullens’ residence was quiet yet tense, to say the least.

You were not a very talkative person, and not very chatty especially when meeting someone for the first time. This was not to say that you disliked talking to Carlisle whom you’ve known for five months now, but because of his new role in your life, you couldn’t help but develop a feeling of awkwardness.

Carlisle Cullen, an esteemed and heavily experienced doctor, probably one of the few successful doctors in the town of Forks, is now your adoptive father.

Well, yet to be, there’s still little paperwork that hasn’t been finished up until now according to him.

Before you decided to walk out of your previous home and move in with the Cullens, Carlisle did have an important conversation with you about his (or now, your) family and their backgrounds. He has a wife named Esme whom you have already met before several times, a kind and loving woman.

He has five other adoptive children, all non related. It was weird at the beginning but as he took his time and explained to you their history and nature, it was… interesting.

Apparently, the Cullens are vampires.

If it were anyone else, they’d probably laugh in Carlisle’s face from the disbelief and ditch him or run away from the sheer amount of horror. But to you, who’s been living her entire life in Forks and have witnessed some of the craziest and messed up events in this town, including your past, it kind of made sense.

That, and how Carlisle had to make an example of himself being a vampire as evidence, by standing in a sunny area on a cloudy afternoon, showcasing what happens when a vampire is exposed to the sunlight. Not a pretty sight from his pained expression, but credits to him for prioritizing being truthful to you about this.

You knew that you should’ve felt scared, terrified or in disbelief of the news that there are supernatural beings in this world, let alone that you’d be in contact with one. However, Carlisle was never the person or the being to give off the impression of being ‘scary’, he was in fact, one of the people who looked out for you and always took care of you. Not because of his job alone, but because he was the one to reach out to you and save you from the danger that always harmed you.

Even if Carlisle had turned out to be a blood sucking vampire, you believed that he was the last person on earth to ever harm you.

So, here you were, riding with him on your way to your new home. Your emotions were all over the place,
What if Carlisle and Esme’s children didn’t like you? What if you made a mistake? What if it was too much? What if something bad happens? What if—

“I know that this can be nerve-racking, Y/n, meeting your family, but I promise that it’ll be okay.” Carlisle interrupted your chain of thoughts with a gentle tone.

“…Thank you, Carlisle. I’m just sort of nervous is all.” Your attempt to reassure him made him smile.

“That’s completely fine, but please know that the others are really looking forward to meeting you. From all the things Esme and I mentioned to them, they’d love to have you with us.” He replied.

“That’s really great to hear.” You grinned as you tried to exhale away your anxiety.

After some time of Carlisle driving and you admiring the scenery of all the trees surrounding the road, you finally reached the destination.

As soon as Carlisle walked out of the car, it was mere seconds later that you noticed him dashing in a non-human speed from the driver’s door to standing in front of your passenger’s door, opening it for you.

Right, vampire speed, another supernatural ‘feature’ you need to adjust to witnessing if you’re going to live with the Cullens.

Once you stepped out of the car, you saw Carlisle already carrying your multiple bags of belongings on his shoulders. You would’ve argued that you can carry them yourself, if he wasn’t constantly insisting on taking care of them before the ride home.

“Thank you.” You nearly muttered, but didn’t doubt the centuries-year old vampire to not hear you.
“Don’t mention it. Now, shall we go in and introduce you to the others?” Carlisle asked, even though he probably sensed your worry, you were grateful that he didn’t press further.

You nodded and the two of you approached your new house.

Your first impressions of the outer area of the house that it was stunning. The house was modern-built and some of the front windows were in full view, which meant that anyone who stood outside of the place could probably see what’s happening inside. You would’ve been concerned with those big windows reflecting the sunlight inside a place filled with vampires, but this is Forks we’re talking about, and it’s very possible that they had protective blinds installed.

The feeling of amazement and you staring around the area almost made you forget that there were people inside, waiting to meet you, but you quickly regained your sense of self and reminded yourself to ‘be cool’, or at least you attempted to do so.

The first person who was awaiting your arrival inside the house was Esme, she was standing at the end of the hallway to the living room.

“Hey my love.” Carlisle greeted his wife with a loving kiss as he placed your belongings on the floor and aside.

Esme broke their kiss with a smile, “Hi dear.” Esme added as she acknowledged your presence with her hospitality, “And hi to you too Y/n, it’s so great to finally have you here. Please, come in!”

“Thanks Esme.” You hoped that your tight hold of your personal bag wasn’t a giveaway of how anxious you felt.

The three of you walked further inside, and were greeted by the sight of the others standing in the living room.

Your new siblings, all waiting to meet you.

‘Siblings’ was a new word for you, considering that you’ve been an only child your whole life. If it wasn’t for the fact that there were people surrounding you right now, you’d have gone to your room and have cried yourself away from this moment.

Although you aren’t the perfect example of an extroverted, strong personality, you’ve been known to have an emotional and sensitive side of yourself. Even the silly little things such as seeing a lonely cat walking down the street by itself can affect your mood for a bit. But this moment was different and more impactful.

Yet, you tried your best to contain your feelings for later.

“Y/n, I introduce to you the rest of our beloved family,” Carlisle began by signing to the first two Cullens who were smiling at you in a polite and warm manner. “This is Alice and Jasper,” he pointed to a short pixie cut haired woman who was almost gazing at you with an anticipated expression and a man with a blonde, longer hair and sharp eyes next to her with an unexplainable aura but still, they both seemed very friendly.

“It’s amazing to meet you at last Y/n! Esme and Carlisle were mentioning a lot of great things about you, I’m so happy to finally see you sis!” Alice ended her enthusiastic greeting by lightly hugging you. From her hug, you couldn’t help but feel her cold skin against yours which indicated another ‘feature’ of her vampiric nature, but that was for another conversation as you shyly accepted her hug.

“It’s great to meet you too, Alice! Carlisle said great things about all of you as well.” You hoped that your attempt to match her enthusiastic tone was good enough.

“It’s good to have you with us, Y/n, I’m Jasper Hale.” The man next to Alice, Jasper, introduced himself politely and had a gentle smile on his face.

“Thank you, Jasper! I’m glad to be here.” You replied as you smiled back.

In all honesty, being introduced only to two out of your five siblings has already impacted your social battery and you were contemplating on what to reply back to the others. You were nervous that you weren’t giving back the generosity that’s been given to you.

“Y/n, this is Rosalie and Emmett,” Carlisle signed to the pair next to Alice and Jasper. Once your eyes landed on Rosalie, you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks slightly heating up and turning pink. Her beauty was something else, while Esme and Alice both had their charms, Rosalie apparently held her own beauty and charisma. It wasn’t that you were terrified of her all of a sudden, but you did feel some sort of intimidation. Again, your feelings were for another hour.

“Hi Y/n, we’ve heard a lot about you, it’s lovely to finally meet you.” Rosalie smiled as she placed her hand gently on your shoulder in an attempt to break the ice between you.

“It’s nice to meet you too Rosalie!”

Before you could move your head and greet Emmett, you felt a pair of buff and strong arms hugging you and slightly swaying you right and left, which made your cheeks heat up even more from the sudden embrace.

“Welcome home sis, it’s awesome to meet you!” Emmett exclaimed happily.

That sentence from Emmett alone almost made you tear up, but you held the tears for later as you hugged him back and lightly chuckled at his words.

“Thank you Emmett, it’s good to meet you too!”

With that, there’s only one left—

“Anyone know where’s Edward?” Carlisle questioned as you and him both looked around the place for your fifth sibling to greet.

“He’s with Bella on their way, he texted saying that they’re five minutes away” Alice replied as she looked up from her phone, after getting the update from Edward.

“Ah, well, we’ll wait for them then. In the meantime, I’ll head to my office for a few minutes and come back. Y/n, welcome home. You’re welcome to look around of course.” Carlisle added as he left you to get to know your family.

The others were now scattered across the living room but still not far away from you, and from the words you’ve picked out of their conversations, they’re apparently checking on the house’s ‘cleanliness’ and ‘tidiness’. It was endearing seeing them care about your view of the place.

With nothing else to do you decided to sit on one of the multiple living room couches and look around the inside of your new home. To say that it was modern on the outside was an understatement, the inside’s furniture seemed like it was carefully designed and picked out, and the other open areas like the kitchen and hallways and the staircase were simply almost out of this world. Considering that baking and preparing coffee was one of your favorite hobbies, you couldn’t wait to have the chance to try out the kitchen’s devices and cooking sets, it seemed like a dream.

Speaking of cooking, you didn’t know if vampires can eat regular human food or not, or if they even enjoy the smell of it. You planned on asking them later to be more considerate.

As you were imagining what your life was going to be like, you almost missed out on Esme approaching you with a question.

“Hey Y/n, can I get you anything? Maybe tea or coffee?” She asked with the most gentle tone, you almost wanted to say no and offer her the beverages instead.

Thinking about refreshments made you parched from all the anxiety earlier today. “Uhm, can I just please have water? Or if you can tell me where it is I can go and—“

“Water coming right up.” She stopped you as she hastily walked towards the kitchen and came back with a glass of water, handing it to you and sitting beside you. After you took your first sip, Esme spoke,

“I know that you just got here and everything’s a little different and probably scary for you now, but from now on we’re family Y/n, so please don’t feel pressured in asking any of us anything, we’re always gonna be happy to help, okay sweetie?”

It was as if Esme had read your mind and soul. It’s true that you felt pressured in asking her for just a glass of water, and you know that it’ll be hard to ask or request stuff from the others but her words were a great comfort to you. “Okay. Thank you Esme, truly.” You smiled.

“You’re always welcome, just please let us know if you ever need anything.” You nodded as she gently patted your shoulder.

Once you finished your water, there were a couple of voices by the doorway’s hall, and you saw Emmett standing there this time to greet another pair of a man and a woman who seemed more like your age walking inside. You assumed that they were Edward and Bella.

“Hey, sorry we’re late, we tried to get here as fast as we can.” Edward spoke to Emmett and the others as he approached the living room with Bella, looking around to spot you.

“Hi! No worries at all, we just got here as well.” You replied as you placed the glass cup on the nearest table, standing up and straightening your clothes to properly say hi.

“You must be Y/n. it’s nice to see you at last, I’m Edward.” He calmly but warmly introduced himself as he gently raised his hand for you to shake, which you did.

“I’m Bella Swan, Edward’s girlfriend. I won’t lie that I kept asking Alice and Edward for news about you whenever I visited the Cullens, it’s nice to meet you Y/n.” Bella added as she also raised her hand to shake and hold yours, which made you slightly happy that it was a human’s touch.

You were no stranger to the history of relationships that the Cullens had, as Esme and Carlisle had time in explaining their relationships to you from your previous meetings. Apparently, Alice and Jasper are dating as well as Rosalie and Emmett do, in addition to Edward and Bella. It would’ve raised suspicions for the first two pairs, but none of them are blood related so you kept your curiosity to yourself for the time being.

“It’s great to meet you as well! I’m thankful to be here.” You replied to both of them. Yet, you couldn’t control your rising nervousness as you finally made all the introductions.

What was their first impressions of you? Do they like you? Do they not like you? What if this was just a mistake? Oh god, what if—

“Y/n, seeing as I was the one who’s last in meeting you, could I help in taking your bags to your room?” Edward was the one this time to stop your thoughts as he offered his assistance.

Oh right, Edward was the mind reader. Carlisle had explained to you before how Edward, Alice, and Jasper were ‘gifted’ vampires. Edward can read people’s minds except for Bella’s, Alice can see the future but is dependent on people’s decisions, and Jasper can sense and manipulate the emotions of people and vampires nearby him. It was a lot to take in, and you did contemplate on rejecting Carlisle’s offer to stay with the Cullens until you’re safe; because of how that information was too much for your human brain to process.

But then one day, when it was time to give him your answer, something changed, and you accepted Carlisle’s offer. After an emotional and honest exchange, you’ve told yourself that if living with a bunch of overpowering, supernatural vampires with abilities can mean that you’d never have to face your past again, then so be it.

“I mean, I wouldn’t want to bother you.“ You replied back to Edward, placing your hand behind your neck as a sign of nervousness.

“I offered, so don’t worry about it.” He reassured and you agreed as you both headed to your belongings and carried them together, following Edward and Esme upstairs to show you to your room.

The room was spacious and you were thankful for it, the window was also big enough to have a full view of the near side of the trees and woods that surrounded the house. You made a mental note to check the area out later on.

There was a double bed, which was way bigger and probably more comfortable than your older bed, a closet and some drawers, book shelves, a study table and a regular dressing table. For a second you thought that it was too much.

“We didn’t know what colors you liked for the room so we went to pick up similar things that your siblings had. If you don't like some of the stuff we can always go ahead and change them to your liking.” Esme said.

“Oh no no, I love it! Really. Thank you for all of this.” You exclaimed, reassuring Esme.

“I’m glad. Well, we’ll leave you to settle in for now. I’ll call you once dinner’s ready too.” She said.

“Oh, uh, dinner? As in takeaway?”

“Well, I considered that Rosalie and I would prepare something for your first day here, but if you have a preferred restaurant in mind we can always order the food for you.”

You, now, saw why Carlisle loved Esme.

“I would love to have dinner here. Do you need my help with anything?”

“Oh that’s fine sweetheart, I’m sure you’ve had a long day today. Just settle in and feel free to look around as you like. I’ll call for you when the food’s ready!”

You nodded and Esme left the room. Edward was the only one remaining, setting down your last bag on the floor next to one of the drawers.

“The nearest rooms to you are mine and Rosalie and Emmett’s room. Usually, some of us are either somewhere outside especially if it’s at nighttime or inside when the sunlight is too bright on some days. But either way, you can always talk to us or call us if you’re in need of anything.” You thanked Edward as he explained the daily activities and availability of the family.

“Again, I’d like to welcome you to our home Y/n. We’re happy to have you.” This time, Edward had a knowing, light squint in his eyes as he said those welcoming words to you. It was almost as if he was reassuring you that you were actually welcome in the Cullens’ home.

“Thank you Edward, I’ll make sure to keep everything in mind.”

As he left the room and closed the door, you released a trembling breath you didn’t know that you had.

Everyone had been very nice to you, so you hoped that nothing was going to screw this over, not for the Cullens, and not for you. One of the few perks of having a pessimistic outlook on the world, is that you’re always cautious about everything.

As you waited for Esme to call you, you started by making your bed sheets and placing your belongings in the order that felt right. You then moved to your clothes and started unpacking and folding them to put them inside the closet. Stuff like your school bag and books were left for later as you sat on the end of your bed and took your surroundings in.

You’re finally here, you’re finally here and you’re safe. Everything’s going to be okay at last.

It’s been almost half an hour since you unpacked, you took out your phone as you realized you haven’t checked it out since the car ride here. There’s been several messages and one missed call from your best friend from school, Sarah.

“She’s gonna be so pissed I haven’t answered her.” You giggled as you entered the chat to see what she had sent.

(Sarah) 3:12pm: HELLO?!!! Y/N!??

(Sarah) 3:12pm: YOU KNOW THAT ITS A CRIME NOT TO GIVE ME THE DETAILS OF YOUR FIRST DAY IN WITH THE CULLENS RIGHT??

(Sarah) 3:13: RIGHT!?

(Sarah) 3:13pm: Babe I’m sorry pls call me back

(Sarah) 3:14pm: Let me know if you need me to come over to rescue you, my invitation to live with me forever is still on, even though my parents are gonna kill me for it but we don’t care

(Sarah) 3:15pm: Love u <33

You laughed at her texts, as you prepared to reply back at her.

(Y/n) 5:41pm: Heyy sorry I’m only seeing this now

(Y/n) 5:41pm: The Cullens are really great Sarah, I need to tell you all about it when we meet at school once break’s over

(Y/n) 5:42pm: Thank u for the invite :( I’m definitely gonna stop by your place sometime now that I’m able to

(Y/n) 5:42pm: Love you tooo <3

You smiled and put your phone away to charge before it died out, and soon enough you heard Esme knocking on your bedroom’s door.

“Hey Y/n, dinner’s ready!” Esme called through the door.

“Coming!” You opened your door and saw a smiling Esme standing in front of you.

“Let’s go downstairs to the kitchen.”

You nodded and the both of you walked there.

“I know from our past meetings with Carlisle that you’re someone who really likes food, or as people nowadays say, a ‘foodie’?” Esme asked as you two approached the kitchen.

Your cheeks slightly turned pink at the mention of you being a foodie and liking food, it wasn’t exactly something that you’re known for, especially when now a hundred-something year old vampire mentions it, but it was true. Food was one of the few things that brought happiness into your life, and you weren’t going to deny that.

“Yeah, I do enjoy all kinds of food so there’s really no restrictions.” You confessed.

“I see, and what about beverages?” Esme added curiously as she sat on one of the chairs in front of the dinner table, which had on it a steaming covered pot and an empty dish beside it as well as some cutlery on the side.

“Uhm, I do enjoy coffee and soda, but not much for tea. And even though I’m still sixteen, I don’t think that I’ll ever like alcohol.” You jokingly explained as you sat beside Esme.

Once you sat down, you noticed from your view that the living room was visible and there were Rosalie and Emmett casually sitting on one of the couches and chatting near you.

“Well, that’s good to know.” Esme chuckled softly at your humor and she added, “I remembered that in our meeting at that one restaurant, you ordered some fried rice with chicken on the side and mentioned how much you liked it, so me and Rosalie tried to imitate the same recipe online.” Esme then removed the pot’s lid and a freshly cooked fried rice with some chicken pieces on the side and soda were presented.

“Oh, wow! You didn’t have to cook this for me.”

“It’s fine trust me Y/n, it’s not like we get the chance to cook for our guests or our family all the time so I’m happy to finally be able to prepare something for you.”

Esme’s gesture of cooking the one meal that she remembered you liked eating once, was the cherry on top, because now the tears decided to betray you and your eyes began to slightly water.

“Honey, are you alright?” Esme asked in a worried tone, seeing how your expression turned quite sad.

You didn’t know what had gotten into you from the whirl of emotions that passed through you, but the next thing you knew, you were hugging Esme for her lovely gesture as you thanked her.

“No— Yeah I’m fine, just, thank you for the food Esme.” You expressed your gratitude and tried to compose yourself.

“You’re always welcome dear. Now come on, dig in before it gets cold.”

You thought that now was the perfect opportunity to ask her about the earlier question regarding vampires and food.

“Can.. vampires eat normal food? Because if you can, it’ll be great if we eat together.” You suggested to the older vampire.

“I wish that I could honey, but us vampires can’t really consume human food. We can imitate the act of eating it when needed, but because of our nature, all the food will eventually go back the way it came from, if you know what I mean.” Esme explained with a sad smile.

“Oh, well that’s a bummer. It’s still good to know.”

You started eating your dinner and was impressed by Esme and Rosalie’s commitment to the recipe, because it was a good plate of fried rice.

“So, Y/n? How do you rate our cooking? And be honest!” Rosalie yelled out her question from across the living room for you to hear.

“Aside from the choice of soda and toppings, I give it a ten out of ten! Thank you for the food Rosalie!” You yelled back jokingly and heard both her and Emmett chuckling at your answer.

“Didn’t know that our new sis was a connoisseur! Will keep in mind to pick out good places when we hang out.” Emmett added and you raised a thumbs up.

As you finished your last bite and exchanged conversations with the three of the older vampires and insisted on Esme that you should be the one washing the dishes, you knew that it was time to say your goodbyes and head to bed. You thanked them again for their hospitality and headed upstairs to wash up.

You knew that you were being a tad bit too ‘thankful’ today, but honestly, to you, it seemed only logical to say as many thank you’s to the people who took you in.

To the people who saved you.

As you changed into your pajamas and headed to the bathroom, you bumped into Alice.

It was at this moment that you realized that most of the Cullens are taller than you in different heights, except for Esme who was around the same height as you. You made a mental note to try and grow taller within these months to avoid the future teasing from anybody.

“Hey Y/n, are you doing alright?” Alice asked softly.

“Hi Alice, yeah I’m fine thanks, what about you?”

As you replied, you almost swore that you saw Alice’s smile fade and her expression had turned blank for a second, but then she went back to gently smiling at you,

“Yeah, I’m doing okay! So, Y/n. I was wondering, since you just moved in with us, you’re probably short on some things right? Since it’ll be Saturday tomorrow, how about that you, Bella, and I go on a shopping spree?” Alice offered with her usual energetic tone.

“Shopping? I mean I’d like that, but I’m also short on a lot of things so I’m not too sure that It’d be called a spree. I don’t wanna make it too boring and long for you or Bella.”

“Don’t be silly Y/n, I’m the one who’s offering to go and besides, I heard that the weather tomorrow is going to be perfect! So? Yes or no? And there is a wrong answer.” You giggled at her humor and accepted her invitation, whilst she reacted warmly to your laughter.

“Yes, I’d love to go shopping with you guys.”

“Oh my god! It'll be amazing! Okay, tomorrow I’ll let you in on all the places to go to for some cool outfits and we can go with my car to a good hangout spot that me and Bella always visit. She also knows some cozy and more relaxing places around the town if you wanna ask her.” The immortal elaborated in excitement.

“That’s good to know, Alice. Can’t wait for it.” You weren’t going to lie, your heart was actually slightly pumping faster than usual because of the anticipation of finally getting to have a normal girls’ day out, which you didn’t get to have a lot of in forever.

“Cool, see you tomorrow then! Have a good night Y/n.” She replied as she waved goodbye to you and headed back to her room. You waved back at her and said your goodnight.

After you finished using the bathroom and entered your bedroom again, another quivering breath escaped your lips.

It still feels like today has been surreal to you, like it’s a dream. You’ve finally moved in with the Cullens, it’s your first night here. You’ve had your first peaceful dinner in… how many years again?

Your emotions and thoughts have begun whirling again, from feeling safe and at home to switching back to your fight or flight instincts. Is this what they call survivor’s guilt?

“You’re fine, Y/n.. It’s fine.” You muttered as you approached the dressing table’s mirror.

The mirror could display half of your upper form, so it was easy to check out your entire reflection.

Before you went to bed and had some sleep, you made sure to turn around your body, lifting your shirt from the waist up and off of your back.

You stared at the nearly healed up bruise that formed a while ago between your back and left ribcage area, still having some purple hues on the edges and center. As well as some healed scars across your arm and shoulder, some of them caused from cigarette burns.

Your wrists, which had old scars. Your stomach, stitches and a closed wound. Your arms, cuts and old bruises.

“You’re okay… No one can hurt you now, Y/n…”

Chapter Text

It was the second day of your new life with the Cullens. Your first morning with your new family, your first sunrise. 

You were sleeping in your bedroom, the place’s quietness and peacefulness couldn’t help with your mind’s attempt to wake up. The soft rain drops outside hitting your window was an indication on how the universe just wanted you to sleep in. 

But, as you wished for a few more minutes, you couldn’t help but hear some whispers outside and in front of your room’s door. 

“Listen Alice, it’s a Saturday, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have school today like the rest of us, so can you please let her have some sleep?” 

Was that Rosalie? 

“Oh c’mon, I just wanted to see if she needs anything! What if she’s too nervous to ask us?” 

“Esme’s almost done with her breakfast, we can wake her up then.” You heard Rosalie seeming to ‘negotiate’ with Alice. 

Esme made you breakfast? After she had made you dinner last night? Now it feels like you owe her a big time. 

You could almost hear the pair outside walking away from your room’s doorstep, after Alice gave up on waking you up, you respected her efforts. 

The next fifteen minutes were spent with your appreciation of the silence, the peace, and the rain’s beautiful sound.

Thinking about it, this must be one of the first few mornings in your life in which you wake up with peace in your soul, with stability in your heartbeat, with quietness in your mind. Away from the anxiety, away from all the pain and the stress. 

The subtle and soft sunlight beams that broke through your window, reassured you that the darkness will be kept away. 

“You’re okay. Just breathe, and relax.” 

After yawning for the hundredth time, you decided that it was time to get up and greet a new day. 

You straightened your sleepwear and fixed your messy, sleep hair to not look like a total wreck in front of the family who graciously agreed to take you in. 

As you left your room for the bathroom to wash up and brush your teeth, you were greeted by Edward who was walking by the hallway. 

“Hello Y/n, have you slept well?” The older asked. His tone was a bit distant, which made you raise questions immediately. 

“Did I do something wrong? Oh my god, his room is next to mine, did I snore while I was sleeping!?” 

Before you dived further in your internal panic, you heard Edward laughing lightly all of a sudden. It made you question…

“Um, Edward, I’m sorry if this was rude of me, but you can read minds, right? Are you the only one who can or is there someone else?” You asked as you held your breath for his answer.

You were surprised that the older vampire didn’t hold back, and began to answer your question.

“Yes and no. Honestly, I’m the only vampire who possesses this quality. I can read your mind just as I can read anyone else’s, except for Bella. No matter how hard I try, I can’t read her thoughts.” Edward came forward with the truth, you assumed that he’d feel uncomfortable telling you. 

So.. Vampires can’t die easily or age, they’re extremely fast, and have very cold skins, in addition to some of them having superpowers. You’re on the brink of dying from embarrassment and intimidation at the same time. 

“But rest assured Y/n, Me and the others made a vow to Carlisle and Esme to never use our abilities against you. It will not happen unless you absolutely ask me to.” He softly explained, before you could comment on his answer.

“Oh, I see. They probably said it out of worry, but I understand. Thanks for letting me know, Edward.” You simply replied, when in reality you wanted to ask him more about his ability and the others, but you assumed that now wasn’t a great time.

“You’re welcome. Also, you weren’t being rude earlier by asking about my gift. You can ask me or any of my family members anything, especially since I’m not really allowed to read your mind. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us.” Edward responded, ending his sentence with a light tone. You nodded as a sign that you got his words, and then you both went your separate directions. 

You couldn’t help but feel that Edward’s words were genuine, but also somewhat out of the personality that you assumed he’d have. Carlisle spoke to you about Edward’s complex position within the family, and how he sometimes preferred to be alone before he met Bella. You hoped that none of the Cullens would start ‘pretending’ or forcefully leave their comfort zones just because you’re staying with them.

Once you got in the bathroom, your eyes couldn’t help but get a bit teared up due to your earlier interaction. While the sheer idea of staying with a family of vampires can scare anyone with a sane mind because of how risky their livelihoods might become. You did not oppose the potential that this life might give you, because after what you’ve been through, these vampires might have more heart and soul than the humans you used to know. 

After you took a deep breath and finished washing up, you headed downstairs to the kitchen, and to your surprise, Esme was actually there with a tray of food nearby in front of her. 

“Good morning Esme.” You addressed her as she looked up from the paper she was invested in reading, and gave you a warm smile.

“Good morning sweetie! Now I know that you might hate me for this, but I couldn’t help myself and not make you some breakfast, at least for your first morning here.” Esme explained her point of view as she continued to smile softly at you.

“I-… I could never hate you, Esme. Thank you so much for this.” You sat down in front of her as you tried your best to not break down in front of her like last time.

“Y/n to do anything without feeling pitiful or crying about it challenge. Probably I’d fail that miserably. No pun intended.” You thought to yourself.

You began eating as you and Esme exchanged a small conversation. You commented on how good the food is, while she excitedly shared her experience and attempt to make humans’ food, after so long of her being a vampire, as well as what she used to like before her transformation.

“I bet the food’s delicious, love.” Carlisle’s voice could be heard approaching the kitchen, complimenting Esme.

“Morning Carlisle.” You greeted the older doctor, and he smiled in your direction. 

“Good morning, Y/n. I trust that your first night in our humble residence wasn’t too stressful. I know how annoying the kids can be.” He jokingly said. 

“Annoying? I know that I’m not included with them, as I am as quiet as a mouse, Carlisle.” It was Alice’s turn to arrive at the kitchen, lightly hugging you from behind and then leaving you be as a sign of saying her hello to you. 

“Speaking of your day here Y/n, are you still up for our shopping trip today?” Alice asked, her excitement failed to be hidden.

“Oh— Yeah, the shopping spree, of course!” You replied, as you recalled your conversation with Alice the evening before. 

“You’re going shopping today? If there’s something you’re in need of, we can help.” Carlisle chimed in the conversation, his wish to participate in providing for you is visible. 

“I do have a couple of things on my list that I need to get, but that’s fine! I agreed to go with Alice and Bella, we’ll just get the stuff we want and head back.” 

Carlisle and Esme nodded in agreement, both approving of the trip.

“Great! I’ll call Bella and tell her we’ll be on our way in a couple of hours.” Alice added, nearly jumping in enthusiasm, and you tried your best to join in on her excitement. 

Carlisle and Esme have told you about Alice’s eccentric and unique character, her gift of seeing the future and her warm personality. Despite being a vampire, Alice has proven herself to be one of the most good-hearted people out there, always trying to include and inspire others. It’s endearing.

Once you finished your breakfast, Carlisle called for you in the living room, away from Esme and Alice. As you approached him, he was standing near one of the couches, facing the hallway. 

“Hey Y/n, I just wanted to check in with you. How are you doing so far? I hope that everything is up to your liking.” The older man asked humorously.

“Everything and everyone is great, Carlisle. You know, truly, I can’t express how much I’m grateful for you guys..” You ended your sentence with a tone of uncertainty. 

Your confidence and personality have been heavily affected by the circumstances you’ve been through, it’s like that after everything you’ve been dealing with, your voice and tone have also been influenced and been lowered from your own fear of the recent events, your demeanor is nothing like before, where it’s now a lot more quiet, lonesome, traumatized. 

Carlisle has been the safe space you’ve long aspired to gain, and you hoped that nothing would change that, even if he was a centuries-old vampire, he was still the same person who respected you, who treated your wounds, and chose to stay by your side, like the great father figure he is. 

You started thinking of how much the other Cullen members were lucky to have him, to have each other. 

“It’s good to know that, Y/n. I just hope that you’re comfortable here so far, Esme and I wouldn’t want you to be pressured into doing anything, even though we did insist that you join and live with us until things get better, it’s important if you let us know whenever things go too quickly for you.” Carlisle had turned into doctor mode now, but you ultimately knew that he was only looking out for your wellbeing.

“I get it, Carlisle. It’s all going well for me so far, everyone is treating me good, and the room? God, I can’t describe how much I love it. It's like I don’t know how I’m here.” You tried your best to express how you felt.

“Please, don’t worry about it too much. We’re happy you’re here.” The older one replied. As you prepared to say your goodbye and head to get ready for your trip with Alice, Carlisle seemed to have something he wanted to add, but was a bit reluctant. In the end, he decided to ask.

“Hey Y/n, for the shopping trip, I know you have your own money from your part time job—  which I’m proud of you for, but let me know if you need any extra amount, we just don’t want you to have anything essential that’s missing for you or school.” Carlisle offered in a warm tone.

After everything, Carlisle is still always looking out for you. You wanted to thank the gods for crossing paths with this man. This man who stepped up to be your father figure, who then now became your adoptive, legal guardian and still is asking if everything’s okay.

You still believed that this phase of your life was surreal, too good to be true. 

“Uhm, I think I’ll be fine. I mean for now, I only need to buy some new clothes and some school material before the break is over. Thanks Carlisle, but I believe I’ll have this one managed.” You answered his request a bit timidly. 

“Alright then, call me if you guys need anything.” He nodded then turned to his way, heading back to his office to grab his things and leave for work. 

A couple of hours later, you had took a shower and got ready for the day. Your outfit consisted of a shirt, a simple jumper suited for the chilled, early-spring weather, some comfortable pants and shoes. 

Before you and Alice headed out in the hallway, you saw Jasper approaching her for a quick hug and then a kiss on the lips, in a way to say goodbye to his loving girlfriend. 

“Have fun you two, and don’t be late.” It was clear that the latter sentence was addressed to his lover. You looked away at the door to try and not pay as much attention to them anymore.

“The solo life is not for the weak, that’s for sure.” You thought to yourself as the door was the most interesting thing you can look at right now.

After the pair said their goodbyes, the two of you rode Alice’s car and left for Bella’s place. 

Once Alice started to drive, you couldn’t help but grip at the passenger’s handle because of her sudden and abrupt driving speed. Do all vampires drive this fast?

“We can meet up with Bella at her place, then we can go to a plaza I know that has all the good shops, you and Bella can get together and eat, and we’ll plan from there.” Alice explained, as her grip on the handwheel was strong and stable; despite her driving.

“That sounds good.” You replied as you pulled out your phone to review what you need to buy from your notes list and see if there’s any text messages. There were some from your best friend Sarah.

(Sarah) 9:23am: Hey girl! Morning!

(Sarah) 9:23am: Are you holding up okay?

(Sarah) 9:23am: Only a week left until the break’s over, excited to see me again five times a week??

(Sarah) 9:24am: You better be! Because you still owe me all the gossip about your stay with the freakin’ Cullens!! 

(Sarah) 9:24am: Seriously though, I hope you’re doing ok! If you feel like calling later on tonight I’ll be free!

Sometimes you felt like you didn’t deserve to have a friend like Sarah, she’s the best friend you could ever have.

(Y/n) 11:35am: Hi Sarah good morning! 

(Y/n) 11:35am: I’m doing better now that I got your texts :3

(Y/n) 11:36am: Ugh I honestly forgot about school! How will I survive it now? Do you think I’ll get some f’ed up looks from the others now that I’m staying with the Cullens?

(Y/n) 11:37am: Y’know how some of the jerks at our school speak about them, I can’t believe some of the shitty rumors they spread..

(Y/n) 11:37am: (DRAFT) I know I wasn’t the greatest at keeping up with any of the drama, but I had my reasons :’( Now I’m kinda terrified that I’d cause some new rumors or cause trouble for them.. 

As you typed out that last text, you couldn’t help but overthink your statement. School was about to start, and it’s true that the Cullens have had some of the worst and weirdest false stories spread out about them at Forks High School. The idea that they could have more trouble because of their decision to adopt you, the idea that their hidden identities as vampires could become at stake because of a simple stutter, a mere slip up—-

“ Hey, Y/n?” Alice’s voice broke through your hazed mind, as you looked up to her, and saw her worried eyes searching for your attention.

“Yeah?” You nearly whispered, out of fear that she could also, somehow, have read your mind and is now thinking about the same idea. 

“Am I going overboard with this?” 

“We’re here at Bella’s place. Are you alright?” The immortal asked, as she slightly tilted her head to get a better look at your expression. 

Oh. Right. Bella’s place, shopping trip.

“Sorry. Yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking about something— school.” You decided to not worry her further. 

“School? I know that you’re like, one year below the rest of us, but I get the feeling that you’re not someone who’s worried a lot about her grades. Or am I wrong?” She lightly chuckled at her assumption. 

“I wouldn’t say that I’m at the top of my class, but for a Junior, I’d say I’m doing pretty good.” You tried to express as much calmness as you can through your voice, to suppress the anxiety from going out.

“Well, if anything goes wrong, you can always borrow my notes or any of the others’, except for Emmett.” She replied with a smug smile, it kind of made you wonder if all of the Cullens are actually good at studying. It would be interesting to know their favorite subjects. 

The two of you stood at the doorstep of Bella’s house, while Alice knocked on the door and texted Bella that you’re here, you looked around the area and to take in its beauty.

The front of the house and the back were all surrounded by trees and greenery, much more than at the Cullens’ place. Autumn must be a unique time for this part of town.

The front door was opened, and instead of it being Bella who opened it, it was an older man with an approachable energy to him.

Wait— This is—…

“Ah, Alice! It’s great to see you again. How’s it been? And how’s Esme and Carlisle?” The man shook hands with Alice as he sent a warm smile her way, it was clear that he knew her. The man then turned to you, but his smile never faded.

“And you must be the newest daughter of the Cullens. Pleasure to meet ya, I’m Charlie Swan, Bella’s dad.” He warmly raised his hand to shake yours.

Of course, Chief Swan…

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too Mr. Swan, I’m Y/n L/n.” Your self-introduction to Charlie was polite. 

You could almost sense the older man’s energy shifting once you spoke out your last name, as if he had heard about your name before. 

No wonder, as he had worked on your case, he had seen and heard of your name, read your file, he witnessed your past... 

“Why don’t you ladies come in? Bella is about to be ready. You can go inside and wait for her there.” Charlie suggested, and the two of you agreed and walked inside the Swans’ residence. 

To say that the place was cozy from the outside was nothing compared to how warm it felt from the inside. You started to slightly envy Bella for the environment she was raised in, but made no comments as you and Alice sat down on the living room’s couch. 

“Can I get ya anything? Water or something?” Charlie offered. 

“Water’s fine, Mr. Swan.” Feeling thirsty from the constant nervousness was about to be your newest feeling. 

“Please, call me Charlie.” He replied with a light smile, as he went and came back with a glass of water, placing it in front of you on the table. The water was chilled, which you thanked Charlie for. 

The older man was about to turn and ask Alice if she had wanted anything, but she was quick in lifting her hand from her purse, taking out a small bottle of water out of it. She smiled gracefully towards Charlie as she said, 

“Thanks Charlie, I brought some water with me. I’m all good!” 

“Is this one of the situations that Esme told me about? Where do they pretend to hold or eat human food if they have to?”

You stopped your chain of thought once the three of you heard walking steps from the staircase next to you. 

You couldn’t help but notice that there were multiple ones. 

Bella’s expression grew from neutral to happy once she spotted you and Alice in the living room, her hand clutched to her handbag as a sign that she’s ready to leave.

You were about to say hello to her, when another figure walked down from the staircase, seemingly the person who was with Bella earlier and now alongside her.

It was a guy, a pretty guy to say the least. He seemed to be also around your age, had short black hair, tanned skin, and slightly darker eyes. His physique… let us say that he seemed very strong and healthy. 

He was dressed casually, with a tank top and some cargo shorts, which meant that his arms were uncovered, and on his right arm, right below his shoulder, he had an unfamiliar tattoo on it. 

“Must be tribal…?” You guessed randomly to yourself, but were afraid to offend him.

“Hey guys, sorry to keep you waiting! We can go now if everyone’s ready.” Bella said in a somewhat timid tone, she seemed a bit rushed as well. 

You noticed that now, Alice’s stance has completely changed from being friendly, she looked…disgusted? She was rolling her eyes away from the guy’s view who was now standing between Bella and Charlie. 

“Is he the reason?” “Does she…Not like him?”

As you looked back at Bella’s direction, you now noticed that the unknown guy was now looking at you. He had a puzzled look on his face, but it’s probably because he didn’t know who you were. 

Charlie caught on the moment, and he chuckled a bit at their late realization that the two of you never made introductions.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Jacob, this is Y/n L/n, Carlisle and Esme’s newest addition to their family and Alice’s sister here. Y/n, this is Jacob Black, a long time friend to the family and his father, Billy Black, is my best friend.” Charlie made the introductions, and as he elaborated to Jacob who you were, Jacob began to stare at Alice in disbelief first, then back at you. 

The tension between him and Alice was foreign to you, as you didn’t wait for Alice to explain her relations with Jacob. This time, it was you who decided to raise her hand to the next person to shake hands in greeting. 

“I mean, he’s a friend to the Swans, so surely the Cullens like him as he is to them, right?” You said to yourself again.

But then, it took you by surprise, when Jacob didn’t raise his hand back to shake yours, and instead, gave you a one deadly, disgusted, and a completely angry stare that probably would’ve translated to: 'Get out of my face!’ .

“Oh. My. God.”  You thought, your embarrassment must have reached the stars by now.

Bella attempted to nudge Jacob back to his senses, as she considered what he’d just done very rude of him. Charlie cleared his throat in an effort to lighten the sudden tense atmosphere.

“What is wrong with him?”  You thought to yourself, as you couldn’t stop your cheeks from reddening after the humiliating moment. 

“Uhm, why don’t you girls head out? Have lots of fun and stay safe. It was lovely to meet ya Y/n.” 

“The same for you, Charlie.” You tried your best to ignore Jacob’s nearly-seething expression as you spoke back to the eldest man. His stare was now probably translated to: 'You have the audacity?’  

Alice suddenly placed protective hands over your shoulders, huffing furiously at Jacob’s behavior and walking outside, her hold on you made you walk away with her, Bella following you two shortly. 

Once the three of you reached Alice’s car, you looked up at the Swans’ residence again and then back at the girls.

“Why was he acting like that? Did I do something wrong?” You questioned with a hesitant tone.

“Of course not! He’s just being his usual idiotic self. That dog has no business treating you like—“ Alice nearly shrieked in fury, when Bella tried to stop her from yelling further profanities for Jacob to hear, and to calm her down. 

This was the first time that you’ve seen Alice act this way, what exactly was the history between Jacob and her? What was the reason behind his aggression? It was all becoming a bit foggy to you.

“Alice, please. I’ll talk to Jacob about it, he clearly has never seen Y/n before, I’m pretty sure he thinks of her the same as you guys; because Charlie mentioned the adoption.” Bella attempted to reason.

“She is with us, Bella! He doesn’t have the right to stare at her like she’s some sort of a public enemy just because she’s my sister now.” Alice whispered the last part to her friend, but it was hearable to everyone.

That was the second time, a member from the Cullens protected you.

The ride to the plaza was almost quiet, with Alice’s driving speed and new fury, you reached the place in less than ten minutes. 

While you were at the plaza, Charlie had a separate talk with Jacob after you had left.

“Y’know, that was Y/n L/n who you’ve just met.” Charlie expressed his disappointment towards Jacob.

“So? She’s still with the Cullens, Charlie.” Jacob crossed his arms in annoyance

“And? The Cullens have done nothing but contribute to this town and never bothered anyone, I don’t get your point kid.” Charlie attempted to press further.

“Charlie, please. You don’t know them like I do.” The younger one scoffed.

“Still, Jacob, that girl who you’ve just refused to shake hands with? She’d gone through hell to get to where she is now. You should’ve been more considerate, even if you have some sort of hidden agenda against the Cullens.” Charlie tried to reason.

“Charlie, I’m sorry but ‘that girl’ doesn’t mean much to me. If she’d actually gone through tough times, she wouldn’t be so naive as to end up with them and then show up here!” Jacob nearly shouted in anger, but he held his temper out of respect for the older man. 

“Jake, what is going on? Is this about Bella?” 

“What?-- Charlie, no, I can tell you that Bella’s just a friend. It’s just… that family’s been getting on my nerves lately.” 

Charlie couldn’t keep up with Jacob’s argument due to how vague his point of view seemed to the older man, so eventually he gave up and sighed. 

“Listen, Jacob. I’m not asking for much here, but could ya please quit sulking around the Cullens? Especially when they’re at my house. Unless you’re gonna convince me with a legit reason on why they shouldn’t be invited here, I’m not hearin’ about it.” The older man ended the discussion with a stern expression. 

Jacob sighed in defeat, said his goodbyes to Charlie and stormed out of the house. 

—

“So… The Quileute tribe, which is Jacob’s tribe... hate the Cullens?” Your tone showcased the disbelief you felt after Bella and Alice explained the situation of the families.

The three of you were now sitting in a quiet coffee shop, not far off from the plaza you shopped in earlier. 

“I wouldn’t say that we go as far as hating each other, but our families have had a long history together, which was filled with... Conflicts, to say the least, it’s because they know what we are and think that our presence is threatening to the place.” Alice further informed you.

“So that’s why Jacob was so tense when he saw us together then.” You tried to rationalize Jacob’s behavior. 

“Honestly, Jacob is his own deal. When he had his stupid crush on Bella, he was all ‘Bella this, Bella that!’ and he even tried to stop her from seeing Edward when they split up for a while back! Can you imagine the nerve on this guy?” The immortal explained in a repulsive tone.

“Alice! You don’t need to mention every detail of my messed up love life! Plus, Jacob never was or admitted he had a crush on me, he's my friend and was just looking out for my sake.” Bella whined.

“Sorry Bella, you’re my best friend but you’re gonna have to accept sooner or later that Y/n is my sister, AKA my newest gossip best friend.” Alice replied in a sarcastic note, smiling knowingly at you. 

As you finished your coffee, and Bella finished her pastry, it was time to head home after three hours of shopping and hanging out, Alice showing you her purchases, Bella recommending some stores for you to try, you wandering around and trying out new stuff, and them two ensuring that you’ve forgotten about the unfortunate encounter with Jacob.

Once you loaded all of your bags in the car, Alice ignited the vehicle, and the three of you drove away. After Alice had dropped off Bella and you all exchanged your goodbyes, it was now only you and her.

“I hope we didn’t ruin all the fun for you, Y/n” Alice initiated the conversation with a light joke.

“It wasn’t ruined, I actually had a great time with you guys. Thanks for letting me tag along.” You replied to her with a smile.

“I’m happy to hear that, sis. And please don’t mind Jacob, he’s just a jerk who thinks of everybody in a stereotypical way. He’s only a close-minded loser. Ugh, like why did he have to be at Bella’s place, today of all days?” She asked herself. 

“It’s okay, I don’t really get his deal, but I’ll probably never have to meet him again, right? The last thing that I want is to make new enemies.” You answered in a repellent tone.

“Of course, I’ll even give you a heads up once I see him, if you know what I mean.” The vampire chimed in humorously. 

As you drove back home, the trip turned out to be more and more quiet, with Alice’s speed slowing down, the streets of Forks are calmer and more peaceful under the clear night sky. You leaned your head over the door’s window, admiring the town’s lights, stores, and people walking. 

Alice tuned in her car’s radio, and an instrumental song was on, similar to the vibe of a holiday joy. 

This was… A perfect second day with the Cullens.

You’ve nearly left the town area and towards the darker, tree-filled roads. 

But you had missed it, as your eyes closed off, listening to the music and nearly dozing off on the feeling of safety. 

A poster that was hung on one of the town's stores, then it became two posters, then three. 

‘ MISSING PERSON ’ POSTER

‘Name: Riley Biers.’

‘Age: 18’

‘Last Seen: June 2005, Seattle, WA.’

‘Description: White male, approx. 6’0”, brown hair, was a college freshman.

‘No contact with family or friends since’

‘– Family seeking any information, if found, please contact:

‘ Charlie Swan, Sheriff of Forks, WA. OR

‘Biers Family, Seattle, WA.’

Chapter Text

It was the end of the year’s spring break, and time to face the real world, by that, to face school.

School wasn’t a place that you despised. In fact, it was your temporary safe haven, your morning-through-noon shelter, your ‘ second home ’. It was the only place that made you feel the least amount of uneasiness, the least amount of constant fear and stress. 

But, this was your first time going back to attend high school as a junior, after the incident that made you skip going to classes and become homeschooled for half the year. Nearly six months worth of time was spent on your hospitalization, your recovery, the police report, Carlisle and Esme’s involvement, your condition, and then it was paperwork, paperwork, more paperwork…

It was exhausting, and scary. 

However, you believed that all of this was in the past, and after everything that Carlisle did to ensure that you keep on living a normal and healthy life, you wanted to do your best not to disappoint him and to not linger within what had happened. 

After the incident, and after your injuries were mostly healed, Carlisle did talk to you about going back to school, and he then suggested that the time that’s after spring break was ‘the most optimal for your condition’, you trusted him, so you went along.

Your first week in staying in with the Cullens was proven to be very awkward at first, but also in a way or another, comforting. 

This is not to say that you’ve broken all the ice and started making inside jokes with one another, or that the Cullens have gotten used to your humanly way or speed of doing things. But it’s the simpler stuff that begin to count, like how Esme and Alice tried to include you in and let you join during their movie night as well as offering you snacks, or how Rosalie began to warm up to you and started giving you some tips on hairstyles and accessories, how Emmett frequently asked if you wanted to hang out with him or go with him on a quick ride,

How Edward checked on you every once in a while, helping you with stuff around the house like carrying things or reaching the top shelves for you, and how Bella started to text you, call you, and ask how you were doing, maintaining a new friendship that’s with another human being who is aware of the secrets of this world like you do now. 

Jasper was the least person to adjust well to your presence. It was sketchy at first. Whenever you were in the room, it wasn’t mere minutes later that he then got up and left abruptly, or how the conversations between you were never initiated by him and are always cut short, his questions were shallow, surfaced, and he even rarely looked you in the eyes whenever he spoke to you. You wouldn’t have wanted to get yourself into trouble by asking him about his behaviour, because you believed that everyone had their reasons, and you never wished for the Cullens to pretend to like you or be forced to talk with you.

That is, until Esme noticed one day how you were staring at Jasper in a perplexed expression, as if you had questions to ask him, but were hesitant to. You timidly explained the reason behind it when it was the two of you sitting, and one of you was drinking coffee.

She then explained how Jasper was the newest member to be included in their ‘vegan’ diet, how he’s new to controlling his thirst and primal instincts after long decades of feeding on human blood. She assured you that no harm will be done from him, and that he’s doing a great job at keeping it in control. You weren’t going to lie, it spiked some alarm in your heart in the beginning, but as Jasper himself continued to maintain his distance, only speaking to you when needed, the matter then became a little bit better again. You weren’t scared of Jasper himself, only scared of the possibilities that your cynical brain was imagining were going to happen if something had gone wrong.

Now that the break is over, it is time to greet a new day.

Your outfit for the first day back to school consisted of a long sleeved shirt, baggy cotton pants, and simple sneakers. After you’re done dressing, you heard someone knocking on your door. It was Rosalie, “Come in!” You exclaimed. 

She then walked in, said your outfit was ‘ok’, and then suggested a few tips to enhance your look. She had also offered to do your hair and makeup, which you happily agreed to, and ended up styling your hair in a half down-half up hairstyle, and giving you a soft makeup look to go with it.

“Do you like it? It shows your features better.” Rosalie inquired while she was finishing up.

“It’s pretty, Rosalie. I love it.” You complimented her work, she smiled softly at you as she then let you be.

“You’re now good to go. C’mon, everybody is waiting downstairs so we can leave together.” She informed you, whilst she approached the door to leave as well.

You were about to gather your things from the dresser, when Rosalie called for you again.

“Oh, and Y/n?” 

“Yeah?” You turned to face the older one.

“Hold your head high today, don’t let anybody get to you.” She advised in a stern, but protective tone.

You nodded in understanding towards her words with a surprised expression, and then she left the room.

So, it wasn’t only you who were paranoid about the school’s probability of talking shit about you and the Cullens, you thanked the gods for not being the only one. Yet, you promised yourself to keep Rosalie’s advice in your mind, and to try and focus only on the happier parts of today. 

As you finished packing for the day, you left your room, then went downstairs and saw most of the Cullens leaving at the doorway. It was Esme who wanted to speak with you first.

“Hey honey, good morning. I made some lunch for you, just in case you get hungry later on.” Esme shared, as she extended the lunch bag for you to take. 

“Thank you so much Esme! you didn’t have to do—“ You were gently intercepted by her, as she held your hands in reassurance. 

“Please, sweetie, I wanted to. I just hope you like it. Now go, before you’re late.” You thanked her again as you packed the food inside your backpack, and left outside to meet the others. 

Once you reached the garage, you saw two cars with their engines ignited. One, a Jeep Wrangler, in which Emmett was driving in, while the other Volvo belonged to Edward’s.

“Yo! Y/n, ready to roll?” Emmett called for you from his driver’s seat, a warm and a slightly playful grin planted on his features. 

“Yup, we can go if you’re ready.” You replied.

“Ok, you’ll be riding with me since Edward needs to stop by Bella’s place first. Is that cool with you?” He offered.

You agreed with the plan, and hopped in the car next to Emmett as the passenger, he helped you with placing your backpack inside as Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie, were all sitting behind you. 

As the ride to school began, the four of them started chatting, with Alice and Emmett playfully arguing over where to hang out after school, and Jasper and Rosalie were quietly talking about how they’re preparing for the remainder of the semester’s graduation, gossiping about certain teachers they dislike. Just as you tried to tune in on their conversations, your phone started to buzz with messages. 

(Sarah): 7:16am: Morning!~

(Sarah): 7:16am: Hey listen, I’m already at school waiting for ur ass, so let me know once you’re here ok??

(Sarah): 7:17am: Ugh I miss you so much that I came to this hellhole early!! 

(Sarah): 7:17am: Promise you’ll wait for me until we meet up? Don’t go inside yet ok?? 

Your attention was now on your friend’s texts.

(Y/n): 7:17am: Hey morning <3

(Y/n): 7:17am: Miss you too! But what do u mean you’re at school early?? 

(Y/n): 7:18am: We’re almost there, I’ll text u when we arrive

(Sarah): 7:20am: Ok babe, just pls wait for me <33 

Sarah’s texts were a bit off, but you thought nothing of it. Perhaps she’d missed you so much that she wanted you guys to see each other and hang out a bit before classes start. 

Once you reached school, and saw the familiar building, you let out a breath you didn’t know were holding. 

After what had happened, you’ve had a feeling that you’d never be able to go back to studying again, but seeing the place, the students, the cars pulling up, people greeting and hugging each other after the break, yelling out each other’s nicknames in joy. Despite the cloudy weather, it was warm to see. 

“We’ve arrived, people.” Emmett announced as he parked his car, turning the engine off and grabbing his things. 

“Y/n, do you wanna stay with us until your class starts?” Alice offered you, as she leaned forward to your seat, expecting an answer. 

“Oh, that’s okay! My friend’s waiting for me inside. I’ll see you guys later?” 

“Sure! Just holler if you need something alright?” Emmett reassured. 

“I will, thanks.” You expressed your gratitude as you grabbed your backpack and opened the door of the passenger’s seat. 

As soon as you got out of the car and closed the metal door, you slowly and gradually began to see and hear them, to sense them,

The looks,

The stares,

The chatters,

The gossip . 

“Isn’t that her?” 

“Guys look, the Cullens are here.” 

“Who’s she?” 

“Why’s she riding with the Cullens?” 

“Isn’t she the one who got——“

You collected yourself, doing your best to dismiss the outer voices and walk towards the building. Let them talk, why would you care? Maybe if you distanced yourself a bit from the Cullens today, the students might forget about you and them for a while. 

(Y/n): 7:27am: Hey Sarah, I’m at the school’s front doors, where are u? 

You were about to ignore your best friend’s request of not going inside the building yet, because of how the gazes of the other students were gradually being more focused on you, causing your paranoia to grow, when then, you heard a close shout from a familiar voice. 

“Y/N!!! OH MY GOD!!” Sarah’s scream was heard across the small school’s outer campus, you turned around excitedly to see your friend, when you were suddenly engulfed in a smothering embrace, nearly knocking you down. 

“Oh my god! I can’t believe you're finally here!! I missed you so freakin’ much!!!” Sarah exclaimed as she continued her embrace, 

“I missed you more!! How are you!?” You asked her, returning her familiar hug. 

“How AM I!? You’ve gotta be kidding me Y/n!!” Sarah broke her hug to face you with the most dramatic, yet serious tone, 

“I don’t hear from you for, what, weeks after what happened! You stop showing up to school, and then I have to hear it from my parents! To the whole thing turning into a whole, giant, nightmare!! How are YOU, Y/n?” Your friend asked in genuineness, holding your shoulders firmly. 

It was all true, what Sarah had said. After your near death experience, and staying in the hospital for god knows how long, you had no cellphone to contact your friend back, you were too weak to think of anything else, too damaged and in so much pain, it was torturing. 

Sarah had to find out about your disappearance from her parents, when the news of your incident reached the police station, and gradually spread out to nearby neighborhoods and almost anyone you were affiliated with. She had to fight her way to find you, and then try her best to visit you, even though her parents have scolded her for being friends with you. You understood their point of view, more or less. You weren’t the smart friend type, or the rich friend, or even the normal friend. 

You’ve tried before to push her away, to remind her of where you came from, but she chose you over all. You were lucky.

As you prepared your answer, you couldn’t help but notice behind Sarah’s view, Emmett waving at you as he walked towards the building with Rosalie to go inside, and raising his thumbs up, his way of asking if everything’s ok. 

“Honestly… Sarah, I’m doing great now.” 

You signed back at Emmett with a soft grin, waving your hand and raising your thumbs back at him, indicating that all is good. He nodded your way and kept walking. 

Your friend smiled knowingly at you, her posture is more relaxed. “I’m so fucking happy for you, you deserve all the light in this world.” She spoke truthfully. 

“Thanks, that means a lot to me.” 

You were about to offer her to go inside before classes start, but then you noticed her energy slightly changing, she then started to check her phone, 

“Yeah, sure we can go in! But how about a few more minutes? I just really miss you a lot, I wanna stay here and talk.” 

You chuckled at her honeyed words, and agreed to stay for a few minutes. You both walked and then sat on the school’s outdoor benches near the parking lot, and spoke. 

The conversation was easy, and slow, it was everything you’ve pictured Sarah telling you about on your first day back. You talked more about what happened, how the Cullens are treating you, how Sarah’s been up to, and your homeschool studies’ progress. 

The windy weather lightly causes your hair and clothes to blow around, the scent of freshly nurtured plants and the mud after the rain, the low quieted beams of the sunlight heavily covered by Forks' clouds, and the far away voices of the other students walking around and talking. 

Peace, that’s what it was called. 

The bell rang, indicating the first period starting. You two sighed heavily and stood up, leaving for class. 

Once you entered the building, Sarah spoke. “Ugh, we have different subjects today, I literally hate this. Meet you after class?” Sarah turned to you, as you both prepared to find your respective classes. 

“Yeah, sure! See you then.” You said your goodbyes and headed for the classroom.

First subject, History. It wasn’t bad, you thought to yourself.

You walked into the classroom, seeing many unfamiliar faces, some of them turning to look at you, others were clearly trying not to, but still whisper-talking about your presence. 

“Look, it’s her!”

“I told you she’s coming today.”

“Y/n is back?” 

You recalled Rosalie’s advice again, and calmly entered the classroom. You found a seat at the back of the class, near the window, and placed your things.

The stares never stopped, even as the teacher entered and began giving the lesson, even as the important stuff was on the board, they never stopped. 

The bell rang. 

That was the first period. 

As you walked out of the classroom, you were surprised to find Sarah already outside and standing near the door. 

“Hey! Wanna get something before next class?” She suggested. 

“Heck, why not? Let’s go.” You needed to get away. 

You stopped near one of the vending machines on the far end of the hallway, and as you prepared to take out your wallet to get coins, your friend stopped you.

“Your first snack back at Forks High is on me, girlie.” Sarah smugly got out her wallet and inserted the coins into the machine. You thanked her, picked your favourite snacks and then wandered around the school’s other hallways.

Before you looked back at Sarah to tell her about the strange experience you had during your first class, another classmate approached you this time and lingered around a bit, hesitation is clear on his face, before he stood in front of you and spoke, 

“Hi, Y/n… I’m so sorry for what happened, please let us know if you need anything.” He patted your shoulder once, looked at you pitifully, then he walked away. 

You were about to ask Sarah what that was about, when you caught her looking back at that guy with a pissed off look. 

What was going on? Did she know something?-- No, it’s your paranoia speaking.

The bell rang. 

You waved your goodbyes and stepped to your next class, English. 

The same reactions from your fellow classmates were showing. Worry, curiosity, and wonder. 

The teacher walked in, and started to give the lesson, yet again, the students paid no mind to the teacher but rather to you. 

What was happening? You knew that the kids at school got news of your incident months ago, but do they really have to stare at you like that? 

The bell rang. 

Sarah was also standing outside this classroom, again. Was she leaving her own classes early or something?

Her demeanor seemed off , It was almost as if she was guarding the class, guarding you?

No, this was stupid, she specifically mentioned many times how much she had missed you, of course she’ll get an excuse to leave early and wait for you as you’d do to her. 

You spent the next break in between periods to small talk, when you spotted Edward walking in the same hallway, next to him is Bella. 

You contemplated going to them and saying hi, when another student, a junior like you, stood in front of you, with the same pity look on her face. 

“Y/n, I’m so sorry, please know that we’ve got your back no matter what, ok?” She said in the same sad tone as the first guy, and then she left. 

Your eyes were now on Edward, you almost saw how he tuned out of his conversation with Bella, to focus on the junior who spoke to you, you knew that he had read her mind and wanted to know what he had learned. 

“What was she talking about…?” You referred to Sarah in a low, confused tone, nearly nervous that someone would hear you. 

Sarah was now fidgeting, tapping her shoes on the marble floor, she was also nervous. 

“Maybe your incident? I– I honestly don’t know why they would come up to you like that. If you want, we can ditch this place and go somewhere close? Anywhere is better than this hellhole.” Your friend tried to convince you. 

“And go where? No, it’s not worth it. C’mon.” 

You disregarded the whole situation, but couldn’t forget Edward’s puzzled expression. Sarah’s behaviour. 

The bell rang. 

This time, Geometry. 

It was almost like a time loophole, how in every classroom you went in, the same faces were staring at you, with the same feelings and the same words, whispering in an endless space of suffocation. 

The bell rang.

This time it was lunch break, so you were glad that you’d be having a rest from something. 

You entered the cafeteria with Sarah, it was already filled with students, walking, running around, eating and drinking, laughing, and luckily this time, most of them didn’t pay much attention to you like they did during your classes. Sarah went to get a lunch tray while you got your lunch out of your bag, then picked your drink of choice from the cafeteria’s menu. Once you were done, Sarah pointed towards an empty table, and you strolled towards it. 

But before you reached the table, you heard a familiar voice calling your name, and you instantly knew to whom it belonged. 

You turned around, and found the Cullens sitting at a table not far away but not too close from you, it was Alice who was waving and smiling happily at you this time. You left your lunch with Sarah and informed her that you’ll be back. 

“Hey Y/n! How’s your day been so far?” Alice asked you whilst she was leaning her head towards Jasper’s shoulder, checking for your wellbeing. 

“It’s going well, classes are easy!” You answered her question, clearly evading the real purpose behind it.

You didn’t want to worry the Cullens with how much the students were reacting and talking about you, yes it was very weird, but you believed that they wouldn’t want to be bothered by it. You didn’t want the Cullens to be talked about any more than the gossip and looks they already receive. 

“You can sit with us, sis.” Emmett was the one to join in this time, Rosalie nodding slowly in agreement to his offer. 

“Thanks Emmett but it’s ok, I’m sitting with my friend Sarah, over there.” You lightly pointed towards the other table, and he followed your pointer with his golden eyes. 

Of course you had wanted to sit with the Cullens during lunch, it was something you had thought about whenever you revisited the school dilemma in your head, but today wasn’t the day, not with how the others were acting towards you. 

“Still, you’re always welcome to sit with us.” He assured you, giving you his signature grin. You smiled back at them, told them you needed to get back out there. 

You thought that the longer you interacted with the Cullens, the more the people around you would affect them in a negative way. Sometimes you hated how your mind overthought things. 

Sarah was already wolfing down her food when you sat next to her. You giggled at her manners, but she defended herself by saying how the cafeteria food always tasted better on the first day back to school, her reasoning was in its place. 

You turned around and got out your lunch from the bag, anticipating what had Esme prepared for you. It was a lunchbox that consisted of a sandwich wrapped in parchment paper, some mixed berries on the other side, sliced nutritious fruits, some veggies, and a bottled sparkling water. On the bottom side of the box, it had a small note, 

“Have a lovely first day Y/n, let me know what the food is like!” - Esme.

You smiled at Esme’s continued efforts to make sure that you’re being taken care of, remembering to thank her later when you get home. 

When you get home , that thought made your heart skip a beat, but a happy one.

As you took your first bite of the food, you internally complimented Esme’s skills, and proceeded to have a delicious lunch.

After minutes of enjoying your food, Sarah had already finished hers, when she got up to go re-fill her lunch tray. Once she stood away from her seat, you looked over at her backpack. It was bigger than usual, clearly something inside it was making it look enlarged, other than textbooks. 

Did it always look this big? Since morning? 

“Whatcha hiding in there?” You jokingly asked her.

She averted her gaze to where you’re looking. 

Her demeanor changed again, her nervousness was visible yet again, but you knew that Sarah always failed in hiding her emotions, she was the loud one who always ‘wore her heart in her sleeve’ type of friend. 

“Oh, you mean my backpack? They’re my gym clothes! I– I couldn’t find my other gym bag so, y’know, I had to stuff everything in this one…” She explained, but her voice was slightly wavering. 

“I see. I just thought you were hiding something for me there, like an ‘I Love You’ teddy bear.” You ended your sentence teasing her.

She gasped, offended by your suggestion. 

“A teddy bear!? Really? Do you think that low of me?”

“I don’t know what tricks you have up your sleeves!” You replied accusingly, smiling at her returning your joke. 

She placed her hand offendedly upon her heart, “Just see what I have in store for you today, young lady, you’re gonna get your mind blown!” She exclaimed, carrying her tray and walking back to the cafeteria to get more food, you giggled at her reply. 

But something kept nagging you in the back of your mind, as you watched your friend walking further and further away. 

She was acting strange today. From her advising you to stay away from the school’s building until she gets there to meet you, to her waiting for you after the end of each class, then looking around the hallways’ walls and back at the students as if someone was going to spill something or say something . 

Your paranoia got the better of you. 

You looked back at the backpack, its size staring back at you, and then noticed something else. 

The backpack’s zipper was slightly opened, and you took a closer look. It was something crumbled, folded, and white.

Paper? No, there were a bunch of them.

“Surely Sarah wouldn’t mind it.” You thought.  

You slowly and carefully pulled the zipper high enough to lead your hand in, and took one. 

It was a lot of papers, most of them were forcefully crumbled inside the backpack.

As you unfolded the one you picked, preparing to read what it contained, you suddenly heard a lunch tray being slammed away, and it was Sarah’s voice, yelling throughout the cafeteria.

“Wait– No! Don’t!!” 

You were confused now more than ever by her reaction, but you quickly continued to uncover the paper’s content. 

It was a missing person’s poster. 

You thought nothing of it, until you read the name of the person who’s reported missing. 

No.

That can’t be. 

“Riley Biers”. It read. 

!!!

The cafeteria’s spacious walls were suddenly closing, fading away, as your fingers clutched onto the paper you held. 

You gasped, your chest suddenly tightening, but no air was coming out. 

“Y/n, I didn’t mean to hide it from you! Please believe me!” Sarah nearly kneeled in front of you, shockingly begging for your forgiveness. 

The bell rang. 

But your ears have closed in, as if you had gone deaf all of a sudden. 

You need to get out of there, your instincts have already kicked in. You’ve stumbled out of your seat and almost sprinted out of the cafeteria, your friend walking after you, calling by your name in concern. 

Jasper was the first one to sense that something was off within the room, someone’s heartbeat was spiking up at a high and fast rate, and their anxiety was radiating like the sun, as if he was experiencing it firsthand himself as well. He frantically searched around for the cause of it, and then his eyes landed on you in seconds. The Cullens have now felt the tension within the room. Alice was the first to speak, 

“Jasper—” She whispered to her partner, but he was faster in responding. 

“On it.” He got up and followed your scent out of the cafeteria, Rosalie stood as well, subtle, cold, unreadable.

The Cullens wished they had all gone after you, but they didn’t want to cause any sudden suspicions from the students. Edward was quick to read the room for the afterthoughts of the people who saw you leave earlier. 

“Poor Y/n…”

“She only found out about him missing now?!...”

“I saw Sarah ripping those posters off earlier today, she wanted to remove all of them from the building… It’s crazy…”

"I feel so fucking bad for Y/n.." 

Edward wanted to tell them off, to make them shut up. He was trying his best not to get riled up from the god awful pity and condescending thoughts that the students were giving you, when he felt another pair of hands holding him. Bella.

On the other side, you had attempted to run far from the crowds, far from the looks and the pitiful whispers of other students. But your legs couldn’t handle running anymore, you felt your lungs were actually suffocating you, your eyes are now brimming with tears, your airways closing up more and more even when you wanted to breathe.

Your shoulders leaned in on one of the lockers, at the very end of the hallway, right in the corner, away from prying eyes. 

You needed to breathe, you needed to breathe now. 

The paper, now clutched inside your fist, was the only thing that kept reminding you of reality. 

How did that happen?

How is he missing?

Why is he missing?

Is he alive? 

Or is he dea—

As the thought of death crippled its way inside your panicked state, you felt your surroundings begin to fade, your head now swimming, you couldn’t feel your legs as you slid down the locker onto the cold floor.

God, you wanted to breathe. 

You felt sick. 

You had feared that you were going to pass out, gasping for air with all your might, but then you heard someone approaching you. 

Or was it a couple of people?

Blonde hair, golden eyes, pale skin, one manly voice and the other belonged to a woman. 

Jasper and Rosalie. 

Your knees were about to give in, when Jasper caught you by the shoulders. His cold fingertips now anchor you, to steady you. 

“Can’t–.. Breathe–...’ You choked out. 

“You’re okay, you’re safe. I’ve got you.” Jasper tried to comfort you, his voice is now softer than ever. 

But you were spiraling, this was not just anxiety. It was trauma, strangling the life out of you. 

His hands are now hovering over you in helplessness, but he knew what to do. 

He had to use his gift on you, despite his vow to Carlisle and Esme. He’d ask for your permission, but you clearly were unable to do so. 

“I promised I wouldn’t use it without your permission,” He stated, “but I won’t let you get hurt. Not again.” He finished his sentence with a low tone. His sharp, golden eyes only landing on your fearful, (e/c) ones. 

A sudden but soft, invisible pulse of calmness radiated outwards. It wasn’t fake peace–, but just enough to allow you to have space and finally breathe. 

You inhaled shakily, tears are running nonstop down your face. But now, at least your chest has loosened and you can talk.

Rosalie was now leaning on the locker next to the one you gave your back to, her arms were crossed, her words were direct: “What happened?” She asked.

Jasper held you like you were something delicate, letting you breathe against his shoulder.

“She saw something. Something bad.” He affirmed, and nodded his head towards the poster that your hands were still hardly clutching. 

You were still silent, never uttering a word. Even though the panic and fear have been dulled down, your thoughts never stopped roaring.

Sarah stood at the end of the hallway, crying. “I didn’t mean for Y/n to see that poster like this, I just wanted to protect her. I was going to throw them, I swear!” She cried, wanting to check in on her friend, but was ultimately scared off by the way Rosalie was staring daggers into her soul. 

!!!

This was the third time the Cullens have stepped in to protect you. 

You finally looked up, towards Jasper and Rosalie, and whispered. 

“It’s Riley… He’s–…" You tried your best to word it out. 

"He was my ex-boyfriend.” Your statement left the two immortals deep in thought, but Jasper never retreated his hands from your shoulders, and Rosalie never left your side. 

It was silence, until you spoke again, this time in shame. 

“I never told any of you. I was going to, But… I thought he was gone forever.” 

You slowly unfolded the poster again, looking down back at the picture of your old lover, as if it was to prove that the news were real. Your voice now cracked, 

“Now he is.”

—-

It was the middle of the night, back in the Cullens’ place. After the long, eventful first day back to school, you were sleeping sound in your room.

Your siblings informed Carlisle and Esme of what had happened, and they shared their worry for you. 

Alice and Edward were now sitting in the living room, talking. When suddenly, Alice stopped listening to Edward, her face going completely blank, her eyes drifting to the empty space behind him. 

He immediately knew what this expression meant, she was having a vision. 

He went inside her mind, interpreting what she’s seeing. 

Alice then began to warn him.

“It’s—... Victoria.” She wonders, with confused features on her face. 

He hasn't heard that name in a minute.

“She’s still angry. After what happened to James, she wants to avenge his death.” 

“But she’s not alone. No— someone else is with her.” 

Edward focuses harder on the vision, his eyes squinting in search for the meanings.

It was a man accompanying Victoria, a young man. 

The same man from the missing person's poster,

Riley.

Now became a newborn vampire.

Him and Victoria both seeking revenge against the Cullens.