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Neil doesn't purr. Never. He didn't even know that omegas could purr until one day, while hugging Eric, Nicky started rumbling like a tractor. To be honest, Neil was so scared that he rushed between them, pushed Nicky behind him, bared his teeth, and growled at Eric —the alpha— thinking that he had hurt him.
Later, of course, Nicky explained everything to him and said that omegas usually purr when they feel very good, comfortable, and safe with their alpha, and when they are immensely happy (of course, this can also be controlled, which is what Nicky did by showing Neil where the sound was coming from, but more often than not, it happens unconsciously and instinctively). And alphas themselves really like it too: they feel an incredible surge of pride when they manage to make an omega purr happily.
And that made Neil think. He felt better and happier nowhere else than in the arms of his alpha. Andrew's embrace was the safest place Neil loved to fall into after hard days and nights. But no matter how good it felt, he couldn't make a sound like the one that came from Nicky. He even tried, practiced, but all he could manage was a muffled half-growl, half-whimper. He wondered if this upset Andrew, if it made Neil think he wasn't doing enough or that Neil didn't feel safe with him. It was upsetting, leading to self-doubt and negative feelings about being broken and unable to show his alpha how amazing he really was and how good Neil felt with him.
Andrew, of course, noticed these changes in Neil: his eyes and his scent, full of guilt, sadness, and irritation (at himself). So, without beating around the bush, Andrew sat Neil down in front of him and made him spill everything. Andrew had to explain that it wasn't that important and that he knew perfectly well how Neil really felt, even if he couldn't purr.
Neil accepted this as easily as any truth from Andrew, and was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief, putting his failed attempts to purr in the back of his mind.
***
Pregnancy brought with it hundreds of surprises — from standard morning sickness to sudden and very sharp mood swings, and, of course, unusual preferences in food, smells, hobbies, and so on. So there was nothing to be surprised about anymore.
But there was one thing that surprised them both.
***
The sky, covered with gray clouds, made the world darker, but at the same time softer, allowing the eyes to rest from the mercilessly blinding sun reflecting off all surfaces. Soft raindrops tapped against the glass, and a rare gust of wind blew through the open window, bringing with it the long-awaited coolness and the earthy, fresh scent of wet asphalt and green trees.
The room was bathed in a cozy twilight, broken only by the glare of the quietly playing television.
Neil sprawled on the bed on top of a soft white blanket, chewing on lemon with sugar and watching his new favorite TV series.
The bedroom door opened quietly, and Andrew slipped into the room, leaving the door ajar, allowing a draft to sweep through the apartment, dispelling the stuffy, stale air.
He climbed onto the bed carefully so as not to disturb Neil, crawled over to him, settled between his slightly spread legs, and rested his head on his thigh, near his rounded belly.
Neil's scent was, as always, sweet and calm —rich vanilla, iris with spicy notes of black pepper— but now there was also the scent of warm milk.
Andrew was going crazy for it.
He will miss this heady scent when, some time after the baby is born, the softly enveloping notes disappear.
Andrew props himself up on his elbows and looks at the delicate, stretched, and supple skin of his stomach, where Neil's T-shirt has ridden up, with faded scars here and there, and then looks up at his face.
His breath catches for a second.
Neil is so beautiful, so delightful and soft — surrounded by equally soft blankets and pillows. Cozy. Familiar. So him.
The glare from the TV falls softly on his curly hair and reflects in his crystal clear, bright blue eyes. He lies there so peaceful, unaware of how Andrew is suffocating from the rush of emotions at that moment.
Andrew is swimming in these feelings and wants to drown in them with no chance of rescue — to stay in this moment, in this person, forever. He wants to merge with him and never let go. He wants to always see his Neil like this — pampered and calm. After all the nightmares they went through in the past, he incredibly appreciates their new peaceful life, where Neil is so homely, pregnant and happy, lying surrounded by their scents, chewing his disgusting lemon, which makes Andrew's teeth grind, and panic and paranoia are put away and locked in the furthest drawer, which will gather dust, useless, for the rest of their lives.
He wants to kiss him all over, leaving no spot untouched. And Andrew gives in to this uncontrollable urge of tenderness and gently runs the tip of his nose along his lower abdomen, inhaling deeply that incredible scent. He presses his clean-shaven cheek — because Neil's pregnancy has made him averse to any “prickliness" on his face, whether it's his own or Andrew's (Andrew, however, prays that Neil's whim will pass, because shaving so thoroughly every day is insanely tiring) cheek to his stomach and sighs happily, rubbing himself, absorbing the warmth and comfort emanating in waves from Neil.
He touches his warm skin with his lips, leaving soft kisses everywhere he can reach — where their little life is growing, their tiny and already infinitely beloved baby. He can't believe he has all this: the most amazing, understanding, and loving man in the entire universe, who now lies relaxed and trusting beneath him, with softness in his eyes and a tiny smile on his face, yielding to his caresses as if there is nothing better or more pleasant than being with Andrew like this — with his warmth beside him, his gentle kisses and hot breath on his skin, in the silence of their bedroom, broken only by the quiet babble of the television and the increasing rain outside the window. Andrew loves him so much. Loves them.
He doesn't know when it happens, so absorbed in what he's doing that he doesn't notice when he starts to rumble loudly. He doesn't even care that this is probably only the second time he's let his emotions get the better of him, allowing the sound to escape. All that matters now is the beloved person in front of him and the one Neil is carrying under his heart. Everything else is irrelevant.
He only breaks away from the sweet skin when his ears catch a barely audible, soft sound, so different from his own, slightly rough one.
His gaze, dull and half-closed, clears instantly when he realizes what is going on. Neil purrs. Neil, who had convinced himself that he was broken, that this function was missing from his body. Neil, who lets out a convulsive sigh and now looks at him with huge, shocked, and slightly crazy-excited eyes.
Something hot, almost burning, spreads through Andrew's chest and throughout his body, filling every cell. Andrew feels that in another second he will whimper shamefully with happiness. He doesn't know where this feeling came from, because he never considered purring to be something important and necessary, never shared the general enthusiasm for this sound.
But now, hearing his warm, incredibly beautiful, and happy pregnant omega purring beneath him, he understands.
The alpha inside is going crazy, wagging his tail wildly with joy, banging against the overflowing walls of his control, spilling all the excitement and adoration he used to keep inside, showing it only in rare vulnerable moments, which over time have become more frequent, but still.
He knows that it's all spilling out because Neil's gaze changes, and now he looks at Andrew with such love and affection that fireworks explode throughout his body, sparking reflections in his own eyes. There is no strength to hold it back, and no desire to do so either. He wants to preserve this fragile moment forever, tie it to his heart and warm it, warm it, warm it.
Andrew tries to suppress his rumbling, to shut up so he can enjoy this amazing and beautiful sound, but shamefully begins to rumble even louder.
It's impossible to overcome the feeling of pure admiration and happiness, so Andrew gives in and gently places his palms on Neil's stomach, stroking his sides with his thumbs and pressing his lips against him again, continuing what he was doing but without taking his eyes off Neil. And now he hears it more clearly, because Neil begins to purr louder, more confidently.
Andrew realizes that this is the best sound he has ever heard in the world: soft vibrations that reverberate through his skin directly into his lips — and he kisses each one with rapture.
A gentle hand brushes his hair away from his face and lovingly strokes his cheek. Andrew closes his eyes and allows himself to realize a painfully simple truth:
Everything he needs, everything he has ever wanted, is right in front of him, in his hands, reliable, strong, and caring.
His little family. The meaning of his life.
And Andrew realizes how happy he is.
