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“Oh, yeah, Pomni. I can show you that thing in the hall I was talking about.”
“Uh..Oh, yeah, sure.”
Ragatha watched Pomni and Jax walk away from the group. She twisted her hair. She could rip it out.
What were they doing together?
What was he doing with her?
It drove her crazy.
She saw them talking in the classroom. In the bar. In the softball stands. Pomni laughing at his antics, Jax getting along well with evil Pomni. And now, in the circus, she sees them escaping from the group.
Towards the bedrooms.
God, she wanted to follow them. She wanted to see why they went that way. What “thing” he was talking about. What they said to make the other smile.
But if she followed them, she’d look as insane as she felt.
She followed the rest of the group to the couches and laid face down. No one over there would ask why she was tired. Zooble and Gangle were drawing together, and Kinger was…Kinger.
She bit her lip. She wanted to scream.
Pomni and Jax have been getting closer and closer since she arrived at the circus.
She’s been trying her best to get Pomni well adjusted here. Why should she be upset when she finally breaks through to the person Ragatha never could?
Ugh. Why was she letting him get in her head?She knew Jax was only doing this to get on her nerves.
But when they walked off to the bedrooms…
What were they doing together?
What were they doing to each other?
She wrung her skirt with her hands. She shouldn’t stop him from being happy.
Her.
This is about Pomni. Jax is stealing a good friend from her.
She won’t let it be about him.
He’s made it clear how he feels about her.
But she knows her own feelings. She hates her feelings. She knows the others would hate them, too.
Everyone hates Jax. So she focuses all of her negative emotions on him. She’s known as the always happy figure. It’s good to have an outlet.
Jax is that outlet.
Ragatha is just a people pleaser. She knew that, and wanted to change, but damn it, she couldn’t help but try to make others happy. Jax may be the acception publicly, but deep down, she wants him happy.
She wants him to make her happy, too.
She can talk all about how much she hates him. But in her room after an adventure, she thinks about him. What she wants him to say to her. How much she wants to grab those overall straps and pull him closer. Her face went red just thinking about it.
But she’ll never get that.
Not only does he hate her, but now he has Pomni.
And Ragatha could never hurt a friend.
“You doing okay, Ragatha?” Zooble cuts through her thoughts.
She couldn't let anyone learn how she really felt. So she did what she always did.
She faked a smile.
“Yep!”