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“There’s daddy’s pretty girl,” cooed Alexander Hux, adjusting the pale blue bow around Millicent’s neck. “Do you like your new ribbon?”
Millicent preened and stretched, a signal she wanted to be picked up. He accommodated her, uniform be damned; he’d change again before he went out. What was the point of having a closet full of pristine uniforms if it didn’t allow him to cuddle his best girl whenever he wanted?
“Isn’t your cat a female? Why have you got a blue bow on a female cat?”
“Because it sets off her coat,” Hux said in annoyance. “Pink would look like a nightmare. I can’t believe you of all people are advocating tedious gender-based clichés, Julan.”
Phasma rolled her eyes. “Apologies to your cat and her problematic coat,” she said dryly. “I don’t think she actually cares if you apply gender tropes to her ribbon. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know what color her ribbon is.”
“Excuse me, her coat is not problematic,” Hux seethed. “And it’s my responsibility as her master to take proper care of her. And that includes suitable raiment.”
“If you say so,” Phasma dismissed, pulling her armor on. Honestly, they should rendezvous in her rooms, not his; when they’d gotten out of bed that cat had been curled up in her helmet. She’d wiped it down with a dry cloth, then a damp cloth, then a dry cloth again, and she was sure there were still itchy little hairs in there. She’d probably have to have it laser-cleaned to get them all out.
She couldn’t believe how much he doted on that cat. He’d probably been a cat in a previous life; he practically was in this one. Once she’d mentioned she preferred dogs and he hadn’t spoken to her outside of official business for three weeks.
Even now, as he changed into a fresh uniform, Millicent had curled up on the hair-covered clothes he’d laid on the bed, and he made no effort to roust her so they could be cleaned.
She wondered if he’d ever cleaned the cat’s box himself instead of having a droid do it. She’d lay money not. If he hadn’t been a lieutenant when they met she would have assumed he’d been born a general. She certainly couldn’t see him currying favor with superiors, since he was completely confident none existed.
“I wonder how close Ren is to breaking the scavenger,” Hux mused, buttoning his jacket. When Ren had returned to Epsilon Base with the girl after seizing her from the Resistance’s latest hidey hole, he’d insisted on keeping her in his quarters so he could manage her slide into the Dark Side at his leisure. The thought of the degenerate things he must be doing made Hux queasy.
Phasma put on her helmet and waited patiently. She supposed she could leave without him, but that seemed cold. This was more than just a convenient arrangement, even if he was a pissy pain in the ass sometimes.
Well, most times. But when he wasn’t full of his own importance he could be very sweet.
“Let’s go,” said Hux, adjusting his collar with satisfaction. They were just outside his quarters when he realized he’d forgotten his gloves. “Hold on,” he muttered, disappearing inside and coming out a couple of moments later. Neither of them noticed the marmalade cat that followed him out the door. “You know, you don’t have to wear that armor when you’re not in the field.”
“I like my armor…”
Millicent stared after them for a moment, then turned and strolled in the other direction.
***
There were an awful lot of corridors on Epsilon Base, and a great many choices for cats.
However, not a lot of places on the base smelled intriguing.
But there was one place Millicent had always found welcoming on the few occasions she had managed to slip out of her quarters, and there were always people coming and going from the kitchens.
“I don’t care what they say, this isn’t nassir,” grumbled one stormtrooper, poking at a pile of cubed meat. “Raw nassir isn’t even this color. This has to be amphillian swine.”
“It’s not nassir or amphillian swine,” hissed the grunt next to him, staring at the meat with a look of profound mistrust. “It’s people.”
“Not that again,” groaned the first one.
“You know it’s true! The First Order would never let a resource like dead troops go unused. What’s a more efficient use of dead stormtroopers than to nourish their brothers?”
“If I have to tell you one more time it’s not people, I’m reporting you to Phasma!” shouted the head cook, Lhasu, looking over the group of stormtroopers serving out their shift in the kitchen. Most people wouldn’t even realize they were troopers since they weren’t in their armor. “Maker, this is the worst KP rotation I’ve ever had. I hope to hell you were better in sanitation or wherever it was you came from. And let me tell you, the last group I had was—Millie! It’s been awhile! How’s the general been treating you?”
“Is that a—a cat?” asked one of the men in amazement. Most stormtroopers had never seen a cat, and their indoctrination didn’t include the study of house pets.
“It’s General Hux’s cat,” confirmed Lhasu. “Every so often she makes a break for it and comes by to get a break from that fancy kibble he gives her. Probably tastes like cardboard, doesn’t it, girl?”
“General Hux has a cat?” marveled another.
Millicent picked her way over to Lhasu, skirting the strangers and the excited sounds some of them made. When she reached him she sat expectantly, and he rewarded her with tidbits that would have gone in the highly nutritious sludge that made up much of the diet of the rank and file. They were much nicer in the form she was receiving them. She allowed him to scratch her chin and submitted to a gentle rub at the top of her head, but when he tried to tickle her ears she turned on her heels and left, ignoring his entreaties to return.
“Will she come back?”
“If she knew out how the door panels work, she’d be here every day.”
***
The door to Barracks GK opened and closed very frequently throughout the day, particularly around shift changes. She wasn’t seen immediately—not until a stormtrooper tripped over her and crashed to the ground, armor clanging.
“What is that?!”
Several of the troopers shrieked; a couple of them jumped on their cots in dismay; one started rooting around in his footlocker for something to throw at it. One trooper of questionable braveness made an attempt to rid the barracks of the creature with no weapon at all.
“Stars, don’t kick it!” one of the others barked. “It’s Hux’s pet, he’ll tear strips off you!”
“Well, you handle it!” GK-729 screamed.
GK-400 cautiously moved closer to peer at the creature, which had slithered beneath one of the cots and seemed content to crouch there. “What the hell? Why is it the same color as his hair? Does that mean something?”
“That he’s in love with himself?” sniggered GK-203.
“Shut up and put your helmet back on,” snapped GK-152. “If the cat’s missing the general will show up looking for her. Do you want to look like a kriffing mess?”
Everyone was silent for a moment—a rare occurrence in the barracks. “So what should we do?” asked GK-883 finally.
“Return it to Hux?” suggested GK-203. “If we just let it stay he’ll get mad.”
“If we touch it, he’ll get mad,” countered GK-152.
“He’s gonna get mad no matter what we do,” pointed out GK-652. “Let’s just take it back to his quarters. Maybe we can get it back before he knows it’s gone.”
GK-400 carefully reached under the cot the cat was hiding under. The cat raced out like someone had fired a blaster at it, darting around the room wildly as the troopers scrambled after it.
“How can it be so fast?” muttered DK-203, stumbling after it. It crouched against the wall near the door, and three of them approached it carefully. “Slowly—don’t spook it—”
The door opened and even before the trooper outside walked through, the cat was gone.
The men looked at each other in apprehension. “Okay, nobody saw anything. Agreed?” said GK-652.
“Agreed.”
***
The droid removing the dishes from Kylo Ren’s quarters didn’t notice the cat slipping in as it left. They really weren’t programmed to notice much. They were especially inclined not to notice things in Kylo Ren’s rooms, as noticing things there tended to result in droids being dismantled via lightsaber.
“Don’t be so loud!” hissed Rey from the bedroom.
“Me? That’s the pot calling the kettle black. You’re the loud one!”
“If anyone hears me screaming, they’ll just think you’re torturing me. What will they think if they hear you scream?”
Kylo laughed. “Are you kidding? They’ll think something’s wrong if I don’t scream. They are very used to me screaming and wreaking things. We could destroy this whole room and it’d just be a normal Wednesday.”
She frowned. “You shouldn’t brag about that.”
“I’m not bragging,” he protested indignantly.
“You’re always bragging. I can teach you the ways of the Force. I can kill Snoke and destroy the First Order from within. I can—”
“Make your eyes roll back in your head,” he gloated, burying his face against her neck. “I think I’ve proven that’s completely true.”
She snickered and wrapped her limbs around him, getting lost in his attentions. Then she heard just a whisper of movement, the slightest pressure, and there was a thing on the bed next to them.
“Plinth rat!” she gasped, leaping up and looking for a weapon.
He jumped up as well, swearing, but starting laughing after he got a look at the fluffy orange animal on the bed. “That’s a cat,” he corrected. “Hux’s cat. A pet. An absurdly conceited creature, just like its master.”
“A cat,” repeated Rey in awe. “I’ve heard of them. They like to cuddle, don’t they?”
“Cuddle? No, they like to steal babies’ breath, that’s what they do.”
“What?! How is that possible?”
“I don’t know the mechanics of it. I don’t stand around watching them smother babies, you know. That damn Hux should keep better track of it. Once I came in and it was on a table of ashes I kept. You wouldn’t believe what the cat was doing. I had to throw the whole thing out.”
“I didn’t know you smoke,” she said absently before reaching out to stroke the cat’s bright fur. “Oh! It’s so soft. I always wanted to meet a cat.” After a moment the cat streaked off the bed and out of the room, and Rey’s face fell. “After we kill Snoke can we get one?”
“What? No, they’re awful creatures. We’ll get a dog. They’re much better, anyway. They’re actually grateful if you pay them some attention.” He followed the cat into the antechamber and picked it up, then carried it to the outer door and deposited it outside. Millicent gave him an offended look. “Don’t act so high and mighty,” he sniffed. “I saw you eat a bug once. You’re not better than me.”
***
The man standing in the center of the vast room was tall, taller than any person on the base. His height wasn’t the only unusual thing about him, however. The scar splitting his skull—the unhealed lesions on his face, remnants of a battle long forgotten—the very scent of an ancient evil permeating him. There was no place in the universe he could go that he was not unique. It was his greatest weakness—and his greatest strength.
All of his attention was on the holo in his hand, which he watched with a sneer. He didn’t see the cat pad in through the motion-activated door, the simplest in the entire compound. For who would dare breach the chambers of the Supreme Leader uninvited? None who wished to live.
“So mysterious, Plagueis,” Snoke murmured to himself. “You think to cloak secrets in riddles, but your mind was too simple, too linear, to hide anything from me for long. The Sith were foolish, embracing only one side of the Force. It made them weak. Some things can only be found with the help of the Light, and this—this is the beginning of the end. The final act that will consolidate my power. The pieces I have placed so carefully for a millennium are no longer static, but beginning to hum with the—the—” Snoke broke off, rubbing his throat. After a moment he coughed and tried again. “Beginning to hum with the—”
Again he broke off, coughing in earnest, harder and harder, until his throat began to swell and it was less a cough than a desperate struggle for air.
The door opened silently, and Kylo Ren stood in the doorway. Snoke felt the ripple in the Force as he entered and looked up, desperately signaling for help.
Ren rushed over to him, puzzled. “Supreme Leader, what’s wrong?”
Snoke, unable to respond, hacked and clutched at his throat.
Ren frowned and glanced around. He spied the cat and suddenly everything made sense. “I understand,” he said, and ignited his lightsaber. His first stroke cleaved his master in two at the waist, and the second, perhaps unnecessary but prudent, removed his head.
“That was easier than I thought it would be,” Ren mumbled, allowing himself a moment of shock. He looked over at Millicent. “Okay, cat, we’re even for the ashes.”
The cat seemed unmoved. Typical.
Ren cleared his throat. Time to set this thing in action. “Rey, get in here!” he said, echoing the thoughts he was sending her through their Force bond. “I killed Snoke, it’s all going to go down now … well, I hadn’t planned to right now. The opportunity arose. I’ll tell you when you get here.”
He cut off abruptly as the door opened.
“Supreme Leader, I apologize,” Hux said, approaching with his head bent. “I would never dream of interrupting you, but I was informed that my—that there might be a cat—”
“There is indeed a cat,” thundered Kylo Ren.
Hux gasped and looked up, then jumped when he saw Ren standing over the desiccated remains of the Supreme Leader. Three discrete piles marked what had been the most powerful man in the universe. Millicent sniffed at the head, then reared back in distaste.
“You—what did you—” Hux stuttered, shocked.
“I have given my former master his final rest and now take his place at the head of the First Order. You may join me—or join him.”
Join Kylo Ren? Join Kylo Ren? It was impossible. It was madness.
It was the only way he could leave the room alive. And it was more than just him; he had Millicent to think of.
“Supreme Leader Ren,” he choked out, bowing his head.
Kylo Ren sank down on his rightful throne and smiled. “My former prisoner, Rey of Jakku, is now to be known as Lady Ren and treated with the utmost respect. If she issues an order, it is to be followed,” he instructed, ignoring Hux’s astonishment.
“Send some troopers to take out that former supreme leader,” Ren added, waving his hand dismissively.
“And get that cat a bell!”
***
“Come on, darling,” Hux murmured into Millicent’s velvety ear as he strode swiftly down the corridors. “Time for a change of pace. How does Serenno sound to you? We’ll have to leave your basket and most of your toys, but that means you’ll get nice new ones. And we won’t live on the same planet as that ranting imbecile. Because the day I serve under Kylo Ren is the day I jump into a sarlacc pit.”
They entered his quarters long enough to get some food for Millicent and stuff it into a bag, along with her favorite toys, a change of clothes for him, and some grooming implements for both of them. In response to his call Phasma appeared, frowning at the bag in his hand. “Going somewhere?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.”
“Do you have a mission?”
“Yes, to get the hell away from the First Order as soon as possible.”
Her jaw dropped, working soundlessly for a moment. “…What did you—”
“Ren killed Snoke. He’s seized control, and there is exactly zero chance of me serving under that petulant human disaster. Millicent and I are heading to Serenno or any other blasted world that doesn’t answer to Kylo Ren. Are you coming?”
Phasma’s brain never froze, but it did now. The First Order had been her life since she entered the academy at 16, and the thought of leaving it filled her with sadness. At the same time, the thought of serving under an unstable rage monster like Kylo Ren made her want to go back to that trash compactor and stay there. “Let’s go.”
No one questioned the general of the First Order, of course, and they had no problem leaving the base. Hux piloted—neither of them were experts, but he thought he might as well get in some practice if they weren’t going to be chauffeured by others for the foreseeable future—and they were several star systems away when he started in surprise as Millicent jumped into his lap and demanded her due attention. Phasma took over the piloting duties as Hux gently rubbed beneath Millicent’s ears and crooned to her a bit. Finally he looked up, took in the distant system they were in, and realized he had something to confess.
“After everything—after all his insanity, his self-indulgence, his lack of discipline—in the end Ren was right about something after all.”
“Killing the Supreme Leader?”
“What? No. Ridiculous! I mean about getting Millicent a bell.”
Phasma turned to eye him in disbelief. “Yes, with new ribbons to match,” he said decisively. “Maybe green. Or a darker blue.”
Phasma determinedly returning her gaze to the stars, shuddering.
There was a small chance she had made the wrong decision.
The End