Actions

Work Header

TaeJoon, Jungkook, & the Backroom Ice Cream Business

Summary:

Jungkook, in all his infinite and random wisdom, brings an ice cream maker to school, and pretty soon he's making a profit by selling ice cream to students from the backroom behind the library.
Things take a weird turn when when he concocts a love potion to go along with the ice cream. Pity Namjoon and Taehyung who get unknowingly roped in to being the test subjects.

Notes:

This is my attempt at a crack fic, so don't take it too seriously :p

Hope you enjoy Jungkook and friends shenanigans.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Guys! I have a brilliant idea!" Jungkook exclaimed early on in the weekday.

 

The last time he had a "brilliant idea" it ended in he and his friends scrubbing honey from their hair.

 

"Please," Tae starts, "no more ideas. The bees in my neighborhood still bother me cause my hair still smells like honey!"

 

'you should be limited to one idea a week.'

 

'And you should be limited to one word a week!' Jungkook thinks.

 

Wow. Rude... but I'll give it to him, not entirely unprovoked unlike last time.

 

"Trust. This idea is going to be so much better!" Jungkook assures Taehyung, who looks no short of worried.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"An ice cream machine?" Taehyung questions.

 

"This'll be good," Yoongi, another one of their friends, says sarcastically with a slight smirk as he bends down to examine it.

 

Jungkook, Tae, and Yoongi are huddled in what is commonly referred to as the 'libeary backrooms' by the students. No one knew how to get in until a tipsy Jin had revealed the keypad pattern was the classic cheat code for unlocking hidden features and hidden things in video games.

 

"I found it in my grandparent's basement." Jungkook plugs it in and turns the power button on.

The machine stutters to life, breaking up the cobwebs that had settled on the inside as the paddle blades rotate and try not to die from being left stagnant and unloved for so long.

 

'i gotta be honest-'

 

'No you don't.' Jungkook interrupts.

 

'that machine is old as dirt.'

 

"Jungkook, this machine is old as dirt and clearly on life support." Yoongi states as he watches the machine struggle to rotate.

 

'hey, that's what I just said!'

 

Jungkook frowns, rather irritated at the down talk of his newfound money-maker. 

"Ok, well, first off, both of you can shut up actually."

 

"I didn't even say anything," Taehyung mumbles followed by a pout and a look that literally imitates the emoji on the verge of crying.

 

"Secondly. My machine is fine," he gets down on his knees, dramatically wrapping his arms around the ice cream maker in a tender hug. "Ain't that right, Jagiya?"

 

"Oh my god," Yoongi sighs as he stands up and pinches the bridge of his nose.

 

As if right on cue (and to prove Yoongi right), the machine coughs up an unbelievably comedic amount of dust onto Jungkook. The boy stands up, trying to spit out the dust from his mouth as he shakes his head in between wiping his face. Yoongi and Tae are both laughing, losing their balance and stumbling around like Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond in that one video clip.

 

"Maybe the plug needs to be cleared." Jungkook unplugs the machine and blows on the power cord before plugging it back in.

 

The electricity in the building goes out and Taehyung collapses onto the floor in a fit of stifled laughter.

The door to the backroom opens and in walks Namjoon and Jimin.

 

"I told you he'd be here." Jimin says in a very smug and overly confident way that only he can pull off.

 

The older just rolls his eyes.

 

"What's he doing?" Joon asks.

 

"Trying to get his machine to work. I told him it looks like dirt and he needs to let it go." Yoongi says.

 

Namjoon walks over to the machine and bangs it a few times with his fist. The electricity comes back on and the machine follows shortly after.

 

"Good as new!" Jungkook cheers.

 

The ice cream maker starts playing disco music, colorful lights coming out from the top as the paddle blades rotate.

Everyone stands in shock and confusion as they all stare at the machine, except for Taehyung who immediately starts breaking out his best disco moves. 

 

'right. and the "good as new" is a 7 year old ice cream maker that hasn't seen the light of day since the great depression and can play disco music when it gets hit.'

 

Jimin snaps out of his confusion and eagerly joins Taehyung in doing the bump. The two boys enjoying the disco party in their own little world.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

 

2 weeks later

 

 

Jungkook is selling vanilla ice cream to students in-between classes, during lunch, and he manages to get a few orders in before heading home sometimes.

 

"98... 99... 100... 101... 102... Nice! At this rate, I'll be rich in no time." He puts the money back in a lunch box he had purchased (specifically for carrying around his money) and puts the box in his bookbag.

 

'selling ice cream to students is not going to make you rich, Jungkook.'

 

'Sounds to me like you're upset cause you're broke.'

 

'I AM NOT BROK-'

 

'right. of course you aren't. what exactly is your occupation?'

 

'...'

'you little turd.'

 

Jungkook simply shrugs as he unplugs the machine and takes it over to the sink to clean it off. 

He lets the warm water run over the blades, and all is peaceful... until Taehyung comes busting through the door wearing the school mascot costume; RJ, the white llama. The door is knocked off it's hinges and the older stands there, breathing hard, as he watches him from within the costume.

 

The younger is snapped out of his shocked when Taehyung shouts his name. 

 

"Jungkook! We have to go! Word got out about your business! Teachers will be here any minute!"

 

Jungkook is now scrubbing parts of the machine with his hand, trying to get the ice cream residue off it a lot faster.

 

"No time! We gotta go now!" Taehyung pulls Jungkook away from the sink, water flies everywhere as he brings him over to his backpack. 

Jungkook stuffs the machine parts into his bag, zips it up and slings it over shoulder. 

Taehyung starts running back out the room and into the library while Jungkook grabs his lunch and turns the water off before following behind his friend.

 

Taehyung bulldozes his way to the front door, nearly running over a few students and teachers on his way out the library. Jungkook is mortified, but also in awe at his friends determination to protect the ice cream business.

 

"SORRY!" Jungkook shouts over his shoulder at a student who has been startled and fell onto the floor, sending their stack of books

 

 

~

 

 

A few days later, Jungkook is back in the backroom making ice cream for a student.

 

"Do you have any other flavors besides vanilla?"

 

"No, this is all I got," Jungkook hands the student the ice cream and the student sighs. He hands Jungkook a five dollar bill, "I wish you had mint chocol-"

 

A puking sound comes the corner and both boys turn to find Jimin standing there with the most judgemental look on his face. "The disgusting toothpaste ice cream?"

 

He walks over to where they are standing, takes the money from Jungkook, and gives it back to Yeonjun. "Talking about mint chocolate," he places a hand over his mouth and fakes another puking noise, "will not be tolerated here, Yeonjun. Go get yourself some of that fake ice cream and be gone from my sight." He turns away pinching the bridge of his nose as he waves him away.

 

'wow, dramatic much?'

 

'No for real,' Jungkook thinks. 'good thing he doesn't know I like mint chocolate.'

 

...for now.

 

Yeonjun gives the dessert back to Jungkook, mumbling as he walks out. Jungkook takes a long lick before passing it to Hoseok as he walks in after Yeonjun leaves. Hoseok gives him a disgusted look as he looks him up and down before taking the ice cream and putting it in the trash.

 

"We need to come up with something that'll make my ice cream stand out." Jungkook states.

 

"Lets got check the library for books on ice cream!" Jimin exclaims.

 

The two boys are excited and giddy as they run out into the library. Hoseok sighs as he follows after them. "Guess I'll go too. No doubt they'll find something dumb that I'll have to stop."

 

And something dumb they found indeed.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"A love potion?" Yoongi repeats? "This couldn't possibly work."

 

Jimin nods as he continues scanning through the recipe.

Despite telling Hoseok that they were gonna put a love potion onto some sprinkles, Hoseok didn't quite believe them. I mean come on, what were the odds that Jimin and Jungkook actually found the recipe to a love potion (to make and use) in a book in the school library?

 

Well... the odds were very high, surprisingly.

 

"It says here we need a pot, one quarter cup of water, a fresh rose petal, one fourth minced ginger, one cup of sugar, and some pink dye."

 

"Wow... what a bunch of odd ingredients." Yoongi says from his spot next to Jimin.

 

Jimin closes the book and leaps to his feet, "better get started, these ingredients won't collect themselves."

 

 

~

 

 

Later that day, everyone meets up at Jungkook's house.

 

Jimin brings the rose, Yoongi has the pink dye and ginger, and Jungkook has the rest.

 

"My parents won't be home for another three hours so we should have plenty of time." Jungkook says as he puts the pot of water on the stove. "Lets get started," the youngest is rubbing his together excitedly.

 

"This better work." Jimin places the rose on the counter. "I had to fight with an old lady to get this."

 

Yoongi and Jungkook both stare in disbelief and concern.

 

'i- whaaat? i'm very confused and puzzled. he's joking... right?'

 

"Better to not ask questions." Jungkook responds.

 

"I'll say," Yoongi agrees.

 

 

 

1 hour and 45 minutes later

 

 

 

"FINISHED!" Jungkook shouts, startling Jimin who bumps the dining room table, knocking over Yoongi's card tower.

 

"JEON JUNGKOOK!" Jimin hollers.

 

'why are you the way that you are?'

 

"you're a pain in the ass." Jimin says as if it's a fact.

 

Jungkook is too busy pouring the potion into a spray bottle to pay his friend any attention.

 

Yoongi gets up from the table.

"Pshh, it's fine. I didn't really care about the tower anyway... I'm not sad or anything."

 

Jungkook turns around with the spray bottle in hand, a devious smile on his face. "I need test subjects."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"AAHA!" Jin, a college freshman and the school's security, kicks down the boarded up door to the backroom. "I knew-"

 

"AAAAAAHHHH!" Jungkook shrieks. "Stop, I almost dropped this opened bottle of love potion!" the student sulks.

 

"...what? Your selling love potions now?"

 

"No. I'm selling ice cream with love potion sprinkles." Jungkook corrects.

 

"You can't sell that to students, it's illegal... I'm pretty sure."

Jin just got here and he's already done with Jungkook's crap.

 

"Since when is selling ice cream to other students from the backroom behind the library illegal?" Jungkook asks like it's a dumb question and the answer should obviously be; 'it's not illegal'.

 

Jin raises an eyebrow and Jungkook pauses as he thinks over that sentence.

 

"Okay, well when I say it out loud like that it sounds illegal."

 

Jin crosses his arms and rolls his eyes.

 

"I can treat you to dinner if you turn away and don't tell the principal." Jungkook smiles and bats his eyelashes for extra effect. "You like steak?"

 

'wow. bribing the security is kinda crazy.'

 

'Shut. Up.'

 

Jin narrows his eyes. "Are you trying to bribe me?" 

 

"What? Nooo... but if I was, would you say it's working?"

 

"No." Jin says, his voice stern. "Enough nonsens. Stand up, you're coming with me." He grabs Jungkook's arm and the younger immediately starts screeching as he flops down onto the floor.

 

"Stranger danger! Stranger danger! Help meeee!"

 

"Jungkook you're being ridiculous! Get the hell up off the floor!"

 

They pull back and forth a few times before a voice comes over the speaker.

"Security to hallway c, we have a Code Rainbow. I repeat, we have a Code Rainbow in hallway c."

 

Jin looks utterly confused. What the heck was a code rainbow?

 

'Jimin!' Jungkook exclaims, 'oh thank god for you!'

 

Jin drops Jungkook's arm and tells him to stay there before running out to take care of the situation.

 

Jungkook does not, in fact, stay there. He quickly scrambles to his feet and gathers up the love potion and sprinkles.

 

Taehyung, Hoseok and Namjoon all step into the room a few minutes after Jin leaves.

 

"Pack faster!" Hoseok says as he immediately bends down and starts shoving items into his own bookbag. Jimin joins not long after and Namjoon takes up lookout duty.

 

"Ops are arriving in less than two minutes!" Joon exclaims from the doorway. "Book it!"

 

Jungkook tightens the cap on the love potion and zips up his backpack. 

Hoseok pulls up a chair right under the window and gets on all fours in the seat, allowing for Jimin to climb up on top of him and unlock it. Jimin climbs out first, then pulls Hoseok up. Jungkook, being the absolute monster of a bunny that he his, effortlessly jumps through the window from the floor and Namjoon just parkours his way up and out, breaking the seat in the process.

 

They hide the bags with the evidence in a tree near the sports field until it's time to retrieve them on their way home.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Jungkook tops the vanilla ice cream with the heart-shaped sprinkles before handing a cup each to Namjoon and Taehyung.

 

"Ready?" Jungkook asks eagerly.

 

Taehyung gets a spoonful ready and Namjoon shrugs.

 

"As ready as I'll ever be to taste homemade ice cream."

 

Taehyung and Namjoon link arms as they both eat from their spoons like they're taking a shot.

 

"...how do you feel?" Jungkook asks slowly.

 

"I feel fine." Taehyung admits, taking another spoonful of ice cream.

 

Jungkook's shoulders slump.

 

"I feel like I need to go home." Namjoon says, hand on his head as puts down his ice cream.

 

Taehyung offers to walk with him but Namjoon quickly declines. 

The three of them say their goodbyes and Taehyung stays over Jungkook's house a little longer before heading home himself.

 

'guess the love potion was a bust.'

 

"I blame you."

 

'I didn't even do anything? Hell, I didn't even say anything!'

 

"You breathed."

 

'...that makes no sense but okay.'

 

A real twerp this one.

 

 

~

 

 

The next day at school, Jungkook is putting some books away in his locker when Yoongi comes up to him and pins up against the locker.

 

"Oh! Hi Yoongi!" Jungkook smiles sweetly.

 

"Don't "hi Yoongi" me. Tell me why Namjoon and Taehyung are acting hella weird. I know you had something to do with it."

 

"Whoa whoa whoa. How do you know for sure it was me?"

 

'Jungkook be for real. Anyone who's anyone would be able to tell you had something to do with it.'

 

'No one asked your input!'

 

The boy returns his attention back to an angered Yoongi.

 

"Okay so maybe I had something to do with it. But first," he holds up a finger. "You have to define "acting weird"," he air quotes.

 

"That!" Yoongi turns Jungkook to where he can see down the hall, and sure enough, his two older friends are indeed acting weird.

 

On a bench sits Namjoon, and on Namjoon sits Taehyung with his legs crossed as the two hold hands and rub noses.

 

Jungkook's stomach twists in knots and he suddenly feels physically ill.

 

"That should be me."

 

"Get a hold of yourself, Jungkook!" Yoongi exclaims, shaking some sense into the younger. "You need to fix this!" He points to the couple being overly lovey in public. "Now."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Okay, it would seem like I've gotten myself into some deep water with this love potion."

 

"Some really deep water." Jimin agrees as he flips through the book they found the original potion in. "I'm not seeing anything about an anti love potion or a reverse potion or- wait, hold on."

 

Jungkook sprints over to where Jimin is sitting on his bedroom floor, nearly knocking the other over on his side. 

Jimin points to the potion.

 

"Anti friendship potion... you think that'll work?"

 

Jimin shrugs. "I was thinking yes at first, but my sources are telling me no."

 

The doorbell rings and Jimin goes to answer it. On the other side of the door is Yoongi, and with him (not by choice) is Taehyung who's busy talking on the phone.

 

"We're upstairs." Jimin tells him.

 

"I won't hang up until you hang up." Taehyung says into the phone. "No, you hang up."

 

Yoongi rolls his eyes so hard that his pupils completely disappear.

 

'dang. roll them any harder and they'll get stuck like that.'

 

'Who are you talking to?' Jungkook thinks.

 

'your friend who was temporarily taken over by the essence of utter annoyance.'

 

'Ah, must be Yoongi.'

 

"Take him, please." Yoongi says, followed by a hard sigh. "He's been on the phone with Namjoon the entire walk over."

 

Jimin's mom pokes her head around the corner. "Hello Yoongi. Hello Taehyung."

 

Yoongi and Taehyung both wave before Jimin ushers Taehyung up the stairs.

 

"What's going on with Taehyung?" Mrs. Park asks.

 

"Uhh, he's," Yoongi looks away as he tries to come up with a way to say that he's been given a love potion without actually saying he's been given a love potion. You know word travels fast amongst moms whose sons are all friends. 

"He's lovesick."

 

"Aww, such a terrible yet wonderful thing to experience."

 

"Yep. Of course. Couldn't agree more!" Yoongi lies as he shoots a finger gun in her direction before following Jimin up to his bedroom.

 

"Oh I know!" Taehyung exclaims, "let's hang up together! On the count of three. One... two... thr- hey!"

 

Jimin snatches Taehyung's phone from his hand and hangs up the call before tossing it onto his bed. "There, I did it for you. Now," he turns to Yoongi and Jungkook, "let's get to work."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It's been a couple days and Jimin and Jungkook still hadn't found a found a way to reverse the love potion's effects. Hoseok and Yoongi, who were put in charge of making sure Taehyung and Namjoon left room for Jesus in the relationship, would often rush the younger boys to "hurry up and find a freaking anti love potion already".

 

"What we just used the exact same recipe but do the opposite?" Jungkook questions.

 

"What?" Jimin asks as he looks up from a comic book he's reading. Not helpful to the current situation but okay.

 

Jungkook begins to explain what he means. "In the original recipe, it said to use fresh rose petals, but what if we used dead rose petals this time instead?"

 

"And instead of using sugar, we use salt?" Jimin asks.

 

They both look at each other with wide smiles as if they discovered a new fundamental law.

 

"And instead of ginger, we use... garlic?"

 

'just two naive idiots telling each other-'

 

"Exactly!" Jungkook and Jimin agree in unison. Jungkook pulls Jimin into a hug, "I'm so glad we're best friends!"

 

The two finish working out the kinks of reverse love potion, both decided to still use water and Jimin consulting his mom for what the opposite of pink is. Spoiler: it's green.

 

 

~

 

 

"WE'VE DONE IT!" Jungkook shouts as he and Jimin run across the park to meet the rest of their friends.

 

'that shouting gets old at some point.'

 

"Thank goodness!" Hoseok exclaims as he stands between Namjoon and Taehyung who are holding hands, "the personal space was dissipating with each passing minute."

 

"Not that it was ever there to begin with," Yoongi shrugs.

 

Jimin unzips his backpack and pulls out a half melted vanilla ice cream and hands it to Yoongi. 

Jungkook pours a bit of the potion over the ice cream once Yoongi takes to off.

 

"Guys I need you to eat this." Hoseok says after he scoops some onto his finger.

 

"From your finger?" Namjoon questions, "that's disgusting."

 

"Just eat it!" Hoseok shoves his finger into the younger's mouth much to his dismay.

 

Namjoon's eye twitches as his whole body gets the chills. "Suddenly mint chocolate ice cream doesn't seem so bad."

 

Taehyung simply shrugs, "I eat raw onions occasionally so this really isn't nothing... a little on the salty side though, holy cow."

 

"How do you two feel?" Jungkook asks.

 

"Like I just had my mouth violated in more ways than one." Namjoon says honestly.

 

'valid feeling.'

 

"No, I mean how do you feel about each other?"

 

"Well..." Taehyng turns to Namjoon and the older holds out his hand. "The love potion may have wore off," he takes Namjoon's hand in his and cheeks turn a light shade of pink, "but I still like you." 

 

"Pause." Hoseok says. "What do you mean may have wore off?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It's been a couple months since the love potion incident and apparently, the effects had only lasted a week (reading the fine print would've told Jimin that). 

 

Despite it wearing off, Taehyung and Namjoon had actually developed crushes on each other afterwards. Jungkook tried not to be too sad for the sake of being happy for his friends.

 

'i hope you learned a valuable lesson, Jungkook.'

 

'Yeah actually, I did.' he thinks as he stares out an empty classroom window with his hands placed behind his back.

 

'good.'

 

'I'll be the test subject next time.'

 

'you give me a headache.'

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

The End

Notes:

Hi hi! Hope y'all enjoyed reading this silly little fic I wrote ^.^

I'll update my Jin-centered fic soon to make up for him not really being in this one.