Archive of Our Own

"Mayu, I've always admired how you give each song you write a life of its own. They all speak to me in ways I can't describe, but...this one is just..." 

With each breath Mayu took, Kaede's tapping slowed gradually until it reached an expected halt. It was neither abrupt nor jarring - but rather, oddly natural in the way rain could stop without anyone noticing. However, silence was still silence, no matter how peaceful.

"It's just...special, like it's written specifically for someone, and only them, and not anyone else," Kaede continued. The calming ebb and flow of her voice had soothed the deafening silence to sleep.

Everyone else only likes my songs because they are catchy. Why can't you be more like them, Kae?

Why do you have to see through every lyric I write?

Mayu nodded wordlessly, praying that the warmth radiating from her cheeks would not show on her face. Much to her relief, Kaede had redirected her attention to the iPad. The younger girl's eyes were fixated and unblinking. Mayu observed as she swiped in fast motions across the Logic Pro screen, muttering something cursory about "dropping the tempo down" and "peeling off a layer".

"There we go," Kaede beamed, cautiously unplugging her earphones from the device. The freshly completed soundtrack of Mayu's new song, Love2Love, reverberated off the walls at full volume. 

It was once a series of scattered voice memos on Mayu's phone. Now fused with the magic of Kaede's skilfully crafted instrumental, Love2Love took on a new life form. Every last sediment of silence was eradicated from the air. The recording room was alive.

"Kae, are you a mind reader or something? You knew exactly what I wanted for the vibe of this song!"

"Close enough. I'm not just any mind reader. I'm your mind reader," the younger girl winked.

We made this together. We should share it.

So why do I find myself wanting to give it all to you?

In a few weeks' time, Love2Love was going to be released for the whole world to listen to. For the moment though, it was a little secret between two young women who were more than mere coworkers.

Friends, perhaps?

It was in times as such that Mayu wondered why a certain talented producer had chosen to work with her and only her. Yamada Kaede had always been a highly sought-after name in the music industry - that was, up until her public introduction as "Koma Mayu's producer". 

The offers sent to Kaede had dwindled drastically ever since. Despite that, she seemed more contented with herself and even proud of collaborating exclusively with Mayu.

"You’re actually so amazing. Why don't you try making music with anyone else?" Mayu peered over the younger girl's shoulder, attempting to get a glimpse of the screen. Kaede lifted her hand up to pause the music, skin brushing against Mayu's chin for a split second. The older girl's face burned with the lingering warmth of Kaede's touch.

"Oh, that. I'll only answer if you tell me who you wrote Love2Love for," the producer looked up from her device, a glint of mischievous curiousity flashing in her eyes. "Lemme guess...Kotone? Or is it Nien?" Kaede smirked as Mayu's eyes widened incredulously.

"Are you serious? Those two are literally in love without realising it!"

"Right. I suppose it's Nakyoung then?" Kaede resumed the tapping of her fingers, this time at a more fervent pace. Sooner or later, she was bound to arrive at the correct answer. It was only a matter of time.

Mayu heaved a sigh, not wishing to ponder the consequences of Kaede finding out. "She's cool and dances really well, but I'm not interested in her in that sense. By the way, I swear it's definitely not you-"

The words spilled out of Mayu's mouth. It was now too late for regrets. The familiar - but no less dreaded - void of silence stealthily crept back into the room. It coiled itself around Mayu's throat, momentarily ridding her of breath. She froze in her position, gaze shifting everywhere but never landing on the girl in front of her.

"You? As in..." the tapping of fingers against an iPad receded. "Ah, Yooyeon. The pretty actress. How did I not think of her?"

"No, Kae..." Mayu's breath hitched in dumbfoundment. "She- I'm not-"

"I know you so well, Mayu. You and Yooyeon are literally each other's types, so you shouldn't try to hide it," a crescent moon-like smile spread its glow across Kaede's lips, illuminating her face with soft radiance. As if that was not already enough to lose Mayu in the maze of her eyes, Kaede ran her fingers through the songwriter's untied wavy locks. "I mean, I can't think of anyone who won't love a woman like you. Kim Yooyeon included."

It's clear that you want me with Yooyeon.

So why do I like it when you act as if you want me?

"Whatever you say, I guess. Now that you know I wrote Love2Love for Yooyeon..." Mayu's voice faltered mid-sentence on the actress's name. Confessing the song's truth was going to be awkward. However, she knew it could not possibly feel worse than lying to Kaede's face - which she had just unwittingly done. "You have to tell me why you only want to produce my songs."

"Fine. I'd just say that your music matches my vibe best," Kaede shrugged nonchalantly. Mayu bit her lip, noticing how Kaede's glazed eyes lingered on a stash of albums in the studio's far corner. All of them were inked with Mayu's signature - that was, aside from the lone Seo Dahyun album sitting on the pile's precipice.

Structure Of Sadness by Dahyun? Kae, that one could have been yours to craft.

But of course, you chose me. Why were you so stupid, ghosting Dahyun's offer just to choose me for the umpteenth time?

"Is that really all?" 

Of all the questions Mayu wished to ask, only one had managed to escape the prison of her heart. 

However, even those four words could suffice when it came to Kaede.

"Maybe not, but you'll figure it out in time," the producer's voice dropped to a quiet murmur. "At least I didn't lie to you."

Tender arms wrapped themselves around Mayu's waist in instinctive motions. Kaede's grasp was firm enough to be protective - yet somehow delicate enough to let Mayu breathe. 

Mayu could not breathe. Her body was seemingly guided by second nature, betraying her will to stay still. Now forced to resign to Kaede's gravity, she leaned deeper into the producer's embrace.

"Why are you doing this? It's not fair, Kae."

I don't even know what you want, but here you are - seeing right through me as if my heart were transparent.

"You could say the song is for Yooyeon. The rumours would spiral, and the ship edits would go viral," hot breaths tickled the songwriter's neck. "Honestly though, that wouldn't be fair to me either."

Kaede's skin had lost most of its warmth to the air conditioner, and the newfound iciness of her touch was starting to course through Mayu's veins. Of all the ways one could possibly fill silence, the older girl hated to admit that she had found a new favourite.

"They all see you, don't they? Many people admire you. Some of them even...love you, like that Hyerin who handed me a dozen love letters and asked me to pass them to you," Kaede chuckled lightly at the thought. She sucked in a gulp of air, her line of sight briefly meeting the Dahyun album before returning to Mayu. "But look, you don't need to read what she wrote. I don't need to share you with fans who think they know you."

The silence was electrified. Mayu had no hope of fighting it. Kaede's proximity had cast a spell over her. Now unable to move, Mayu could only scan her surroundings for a guiding light. The nearest item in sight was a dustbin - brimming with crushed letters and wilted roses.

"It's okay...not to share. Anyone can listen to Love2Love, but it's only yours to understand," Mayu admitted shyly, her voice barely above a whisper. Noticing that Kaede was still clinging onto her, Mayu hesitated before playfully prising the producer's hands off her waist.

"Mayu...what are you doing?"

"Just wait, Kae. I want to let you hear something you should keep."

With a single click on Kaede's iPad, Mayu chased silence out of the studio once again. 

Love me harder, stronger

Hold me closer, longer

The spoken refrain of Love2Love resounded through the room. Mayu glanced at Kaede, whose eyes were glistening with a crystalline sheen. She did not know whether to hope if it was a trick of the light or not.

"I just knew the song wasn't for Kotone, Nien, Nakyoung or even Yooyeon...but thinking about it feels...unreal," Kaede swallowed, attempting to be subtle. "You wrote this masterpiece...for..." her voice trailed off. Despite that, silence had no way of occupying the space between her and Mayu.

"Rising star producer Yamada Kaede, notorious for exclusively collaborating with singer-songwriter Koma Mayu," Mayu mimicked a news report in an annoyingly exaggerated tone, elicting a halfhearted laugh from Kaede. "That's all the news sees. They don't see your reasons. They don't see...us."

Us? What did I just say?

Kae, what did you make me say?

"Things won't stay…that way. I'll make sure they see and hear us," Kaede forced a grin in spite of the single tear sliding down her cheek. She settled in her swivel chair, proceeding to furiously click away on her screen.

𝄞 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𝐤𝐚𝐞𝐝𝐞✧₊˚ෆ | @maple.leaf.kae

• 1 NEW POST

[audio🎧] mayu's vocal snippet

[audio🎧] kaede's instrumental snippet

when love meets love, you get...

LOVE2LOVE BY KOMA MAYU (prod. me😶‍🌫️)

dropping 12 MAY 6PM.

i love2love you @dreamayu ♥︎

Mayu's phone dinged. Kaede whipped her head around, flashing a knowing wink at her just before the final note of Love2Love faded away.

Silence suspended itself in the air, but Kaede could break it with care. She tapped her fingers against her device, maintaining a steady pulse as usual - but this time to the beat of Love2Love. 

The silence was now satisfied. It did not want to leave, but it did not fight for anything more. Mayu could live with that - only because Kaede was there.

I Love2Love you, Kae.