Work Text:
Ending ???
Day ???
“I’m from the future. I lived through the hundred days here, and cane back to do it all again.”
How many times does this makes, now?
Second? Fifth? Hundred? Too many times. I lost count. I don't care anymore, anyway. This farce has gotten far too long to even be enjoyable anyway.
Sumino Takumi still giving his speech about why Aotsuki Eito is an evil human and why we should prison him. Prison. A laughable word. Even though the one in prison is Aotsuki, why does it feels like I was the one getting imprison anyway.
Ah, it’s about time I read my lines, just like always, to make sure the future wouldn't be deviated anymore.
“…”
Not good. I can't think. No, I’m too tired to even moves my mouth. How laughable. Even though I always told others to not become a burden, now I'm the one who is being a burden. But I have reasons, unlike these cowards who choose to flee rather than fight.
Nobody noticed a thing anyway. Their too focus on uncovering what Sirei is hiding and Takumi knowledge about the future.
Except for one person that is.
Of course Sumino *busy—body* Takumi would notice. He always notice when somebody is acting strange, and will always tried to do something to help them. And he will not stop until he succeeded, like a stubborn fool he is. He’s staring at me like I’m an irregular being. I should have been the one who is staring at him like that, but now the role has been reversed.
I glare at him and finally he looks away from me. Obviously he has a lot of questions in his mind, but I don't plan on giving him any answers at all.
“Why are you so quiet mistress Hiruko? Are you planning to kill someone?” Darumi ask a ridiculous question, and now I'm glaring at her. But the moment I tried to shut her up, my mouth isn't moving, again. This useless mouth of mine.
Without saying anything, I walk away from the group of walking corpses without looking back at all.
***
What days is it now?
I don't know. I don't care. Ever since that day, I have never stepped out from my room. How pathetic. This isn't me at all. I should have been in the front lines, fighting for…
What am I fighting for again?
My reason for fighting have been erased thanks to knowing about our origins. I'm only fighting for my future, but now I can’t even see my own future. Stuck in this endless time loop, forever, without a way out.
The night time announcement is ringing now, but its been a while since I've fallen asleep anyway. I'm afraid that if I fall asleep now, I’ll wake up to another timeline. What a burden I have become.
Even though I have become a burden, the others still giving me food. Even Sirei came inside my room to asked me questions which I will never tell him. Never him.
The others… wouldn't understand. Just seeing how they react with Takumi coming from the future made me realize that they would believed me, but they will also blame me for everything if something has gone wrong. I know because I have done that foolish plan, thinking that the others will follow me, only to end up losing everything because of their own desicion. Turns out nobody like me as their leader. What a surprise.
For the first time in many days, I suddenly have an urge to go outside. I don't know the reason, but one thing that I have learn from this stupid time loop is that I should trust my own instinct. If I can't even trust my instincts, then what the hell am I still even alive for?
I walk down the stairs and walk outside the school into the front door of the school. I open it and see the wall of undying flames standing tall without wavering. I turn my vision into somewhere else, walking around the school yard without a thought. The night sky is glimmering with stars, and I could also see the TRC from here. I glare at it for a second before moving my vision again and lock my gaze into a bench in the school yard.
Whoever decided to put a bench in here is a fool, but I walk toward it anyway, sitting in there and stared back into the night sky again. How many time has passed, I don't know. I didn't even flinch when I hear a footsteps coming closer to me.
Then I see it. That red hair, with a blue hair streak in the front, and that dumb looking expression that is planted on his face.
Sumino Takumi.
The softest person I have ever seen. So soft, he will break if he were in my shoes. Remembering countless death is not an easy thing to move on after all. How I envy him to only remember 1 specific timeline. I'm grateful that because of him the future has finally changed, but it's still not enough. If only he remembers, then perhaps he will be much more useful than ever.
For now, he is still an useless, worthless human being that didn't deserve my attention, the same goes for the others.
Right now, he is standing in front of me. Even though he is standing, because of our height different, his face is right in front of me. A little bit taller, but it still make me realize just how short he is. He continue to stare at me, his gaze is full of concern, probably didn't know what to do with the ‘me’ in this timeline.
Even I have given up on myself, so what can he possibly do?
Without warning, he spread his hands toward me and pull me closer to him…
Wait, what?
Both of his hands is wrap around my head, colliding me towards his chest. This close, I could feel his warmth and hear his heart beating softly near my ear. His soft breath brushing through my hair, and his hands patting behind me slowly but reassuring.
What's going on? Takumi would never do this kind of thing.
“It’s alright. Everything will be alright.” He said softly, his hand never stopped moving. “I won't ask anything. Just… let me comfort you a little. You… look like you needed it.” He continue with that irritating soft voice of his, as if I would run away if he ever scream or talk in his normal voice.
In another timeline, I would have shouted at him, asking why would he do something like this. But this… for some reason… it's comforting. Feeling the warmth of another human, hearing their soft heartbeats slowly beating, and the pats behind my head.
“Feeling better?” He ask, removing his hands from around my head. My own hands move faster than my own thought, already grabbing his hands and put them back around my head. “Don’t stop until I said it.” For the first time in a while, I open my mouth and the sentence that came out is an order. How typical.
Takumi didn't say anything though, I could feel his head nodding and his hand continue patting my head. We stay like this for a while, and sometime Takumi would whisper some sentences with that soothing voice of his. Is this one of the reason why he’s so good at persuading others?
Even though I didn't want this to end, I also didn't want our leader to pass out because he keeps standing like that. I know fighting the invaders has becoming much more difficult because of my absence. I didn't feel sorry at all, I would only distract the others if I fight in this state.
I have become quite a huge burden for everyone
“That's enough.” I said while removing his hands. Before he could said anything, I gesture him to sit beside me. He did exactly that, and we sat there in silence, enjoying the starry night sky together.
“Why did you it?” I ask, curious why he suddenly hug me like that. He only shrug his shoulders, “Ka— my childhood friend always did it to me whenever I was feeling down. I just thought perhaps you also needed it.”
Suddenly his cheeks turn a little red, and he said in a bashful manner, “Now that I think about it you must have been shocked, suddenly being hugged by a guy like that.” I look at him like he's an idiot. He only noticed now?
Before he open his mouth, I said in a nonchalant voice. “It's fine. Don't apologise… thank you.” I whispered my thanks, and I know he still hears it because now his face exactly the same color as his hair.
“…do you think it’s possible? For us to survive and went back to TRC?” I ask in a low voice while looking up to the starry night sky, looking straight into the TRC. “What if the ending that you wanted will never be achieved? What if you’re just wasting your time going to the past and still cannot change everyone fates?”
“…” Takumi didn't answer right away, perhaps he is thinking about how out of character I am in this timeline. But I already reached my limit. I'm already broken and cannot be repair just from mere words that seems out of reach.
“To be honest, I also don't know if going back to the past is the right choice now.” Takumi said with a sad expression, “Some of our friends has already fallen, and Gaku blame me for going back to the past and causing their death. I can't really blame him because I also blame myself.”
“I know the future, but now the future is changing from the one that I know and it making the others anxious because now they can't rely on my future anymore. But that doesn't change the fact that I came back here to save them all. I'm not going back to the past to be humanity savior. I'm going back to the past to help my friends survive this hell.”
That's… right. How could I forget? We already established this fact before. Not fighting for humanity, but fighting for our friends. Sirei always saying ‘fighting for humanity’ made me forgotten a little. Or perhaps, there were times when I accidentally get brainwashed again and it stuck into my brain, clouded my judgement and memory? Whatever it is, Takumi’s words made me realize that I’m now fighting for my friends, not humanity.
It felt like my purpose to live has been awaken again, and I feel like I can paint the yard red using the invaders blood and organs.
“Oh! I almost forgot about it.” Takumi suddenly muttered to himself and shoffing his hand inside one of his hoody pocket. “I was about to give this to you tomorrow morning, but you can have it now.”
He grabbed my hand and place something on top of it. It was a small, hard, and feels like plastic…
It was a calico cat figure made from vinyl.
“I made it using the gift-o-matic. I remember you said you liked cats before, so I made this to cheer you up.” Takumi said while smiling brightly. I look at the cat figure, I have to admit it looks kind of cute. But this…
“You made this… for me?” I ask awkwardly. Why is Takumi like this? Why didn't he give this to Nozomi or someone else. We were never close. “I thought you scared of me.”
“Well. I mean… you are kinda scary…” he said without feeling shame at all. “But the past few days you seemed so down. It's feels like you already fallen into despair without even fight the enemy first. I don't know what happened, but I can't just leave you like that, considering how I know that you like fighting the invaders.”
“…are you not going to ask as to why I was feeling down?”
“I am curious, and so did our friends. Even Sirei said that he wanted to know why you suddenly lost motivation. But it's not like you obligated to tell us anything. You can tell us whenever you feel like it. Or you can tell me first. It's up to you.” Takumi said like it was nothing at all. “I just want you to know that I'm your ally. I trust your words, no matter how weird it is.” That last sentence did not make my cheeks red. Not at all. It became red because of how embarrassing he’s being.
Honestly, what am I doing. Getting warmth by being hugged, feeling happy that someone is giving me a gift, and feeling calm when he said that I can talk whenever I want.
But clearly it's working. I don't feel any negative feeling anymore. It's feels like a weight has been lifted from my back. A very heavy weight. “Thank you, Takumi. For the gift.” I said while smiling a little. “Don't mention it. I'm just glad you like the gift. I didn't really know what you like, after all.”
“Oh? Didn't you mentioned that I like cats? So you didn't hear it from me, but guessed it?” I said with a smirk. Takumi spluttered, face becomes red from embarrassment and tried to form an excuse. I laugh while standing and start walking back to my room. Tomorrow, I will join the others in cafeteria, and I have to build an excuse as to why I was not feeling well in the past couple of days.
Clutching the calico cat figure inside my skirt pockets, I walk toward my room with a happy feeling. I don't know how much time I needed to stop this unfair time loop, but mark my words. I will end this cycle of hell. And I will also protect the others while I’m at it.
This is a promise I can give to you, even if you will forget this timeline in the future.