Chapter Text
Noone knows why legendary hero Superior has failed time and time again to put an end to the machinations of a D-tier villain.
Not even one that would have been D-tier to begin with. They got bumped up because they owned property, for fuck’s sake.
Tabloids and magazines are going crazy, each publisher stumbling over their own words while they keep making up wilder and wilder theories, putting out quite frankly insane theories, ranging from mind control over the villain using some kind of secret material in their death traps that only they know to be Superior’s weakness to curses and spells and unfair magical pacts.
Noone has ever dared to think that the hero of the people, beloved by all, keeps coming back to the same run-down apartment building because they simply enjoy it.
When Alex had first heard of a puzzlemaster type villain abducting.. female reporters? For some reason? Their first instinct had been to laugh.
Let someone else deal with it. Only to be informed that normally, they WOULD, but the only person that has reliably been able to solve their puzzles was currently in the hospital recovering from a surgery… and they really needed someone to step in.
So, Alex had agreed to spare five minutes of their day stopping some petty wannabe and maybe get McDonald’s on the way back, if they were in the mood. Engaging in a fight with someone always made them hungry, especially if it was a good fight, though they didn’t believe this would be a particularly interesting one.
Arriving at the building, registered to one Morgan Sterlin, they found themselves faced with a riddle at the door - they failed to remember which one, as instead of answering, they simply took the door off its hinges and proceeded to make their way towards what, judging by the sounds they could hear with their superhearing, must be the villain’s workshop or maybe just a place where they concocted whatever stupid machinery they were building.
Making their way towards the correct apartment door, Alex got pierced by 8 arrows coming out of the walls, stabbed thrice, by a wooden stake, a swinging knife and some sort of metal rod respectively, ignored several suspiciously placed puzzle boxes, boxed their way through a solid wall after deciding dealing with the lock on the door was too tedious and shattered a massive rock on their back that was almost certainly intended to chase them PAST the entrance they needed to take.
The door was locked, of course, but that had never hindered them and their confidence was undamaged when they strode to find a living room containing a.. world upside down?
Ah, no. They were upside down. Silly mistake.
A person was standing in the living room, next to what looked like a way too oversized coffee machine. “You’re not Barnaby.”
Alex scratched the back of their head. A bit of blood stuck to their fingers. “I’m filling in today, just pretend like I am, I guess.” “Why, what happened to him?” Alex shrugged. “He’s in the hospital. Recovering from Top Surgery, if I remember correctly.” “Oh.” Morgan Sterlin didn’t seem too surprised. “Good for him. Well - if you’re here, I suppose I’m just gonna give my speech to you.”
They spun around, a grin on their lips, slapping the giant coffee machine. “This is my newest baby, so strap in - get it, cause you’re currently suspended by strings? - while I tell you exactly how she’s gonna make me rich.”
Oh great, a monologuer… Alex contemplated simply teleporting themselves and the villain to the nearest prison, leave them there and go get McDonald’s…
But no, the power they had chosen to “copy” today just must have been ice powers.
“But first-“ Morgan Sterling crossed their arms. “You didn’t disarm any of my traps on the way here, you just set them all off. And you ignored the puzzles!” Their tone was accusatory, maybe a little hurt. “I worked hard on setting all this up, you know?”
Tough luck. Alex never had been the type to do puzzles. “Next time you fill in, at least try to respect my craft, seriously. Do you know how long all that took?” They didn’t wait for an answer. “Two whole weeks! Resetting things, building new traps, hiding clues…. It was a lot of work! So -“ They managed to genuinely surprise Alex when they… booped them on the nose?! “I want you to promise that you’ll actually work on the puzzles next time.” Alex made a noise that was neither agreement nor disagreement. (Though secretly, it was definitely disagreement.) Morgan Sterling seemed to see it as enough though, as they went right back to monologuing. “Well, Dear...”
They kept walking back and forth between the coffee machine that, as Alex (against their will) learned was an invisibility device intended to make a bunch of henchmen invisible so they could sneak around in an abandoned warehouse at the edge of town, making spooky noises, so people would think the place was haunted and scare off some random billionaire from buying up the building before Morgan’s crew had finished digging for the jewels a dishonoured bride has allegedly buried under that exact spot 120 years ago - and Alex.. “And this is the SECOND job of the noises” Morgan whispered in Alex’ ear in a conspiratorial manner. “They’re gonna make people not question our noise.”
About halfway through, Alex had resigned to their fate and just decided to let them finish. It was too late for McDonald’s anyway. Besides, hanging upside down like this was kind of relaxing. Maybe they should get something like this for their home…
“…so now that I have you contained, there is no one that can stop me anymore!” Morgan let out a laugh that Alex was sure they must have practised in the mirror a great many times before applying it to a real life situation. They took this as their clue that the end of the monologue was reached - and in the blink of an eye, they were standing behind Morgan, handcuffs closing with a click that many of their colleagues had described as satisfying. “If that’s the issue, I can change that for you.” Now it was THEIR turn to ominously whisper in the other’s ear. And that was that.
—-------------------------------------------------
And that was that. Except it wasn’t. Because APPARENTLY, Barnaby wasn’t allowed to return to hero duty until at least two months had passed.
And APPARENTLY, Morgan Sterling possessed the luck needed to find a whole cluster of four leafed clovers all at once when it came to escaping jail, which meant that within the week they had successfully gotten home, set up shop again and built drones that followed prison staff around playing the tune of Nyan Nyan cat whenever they least expected it, sometimes with an added bass boost for dramatic effect. And somehow noone came to visit them to bring them back to jail, almost as if now that that quest (or whatever you wanted to call it) was over, noone cared anymore.
Not that Alex did, either. It wasn’t their job to keep them in check. Sure, they could have just teleported them back to jail like that, but why would they? Going after villains and getting some good fights in was the sole reason they were a hero, after all.
It was pure coincidence that they were in the coffee shop next to the bank when Morgan Sterling came running out, arms full of cash, making a dash for a parked car.
It would have been bad PR to ignore the situation, no matter how good the coffee was. So, they left the cup on the table and stood up, swooping in to block Morgan as they made their way towards the car.
The villain did not seem intimidated in the slightest by the fact the most powerful hero in the country - the entire world - had come to stop them. Again. They just turned a sharp right, trying to run past them.
Instead, Alex grappled them and jumped into the air - high enough to force the villain to hold onto them if they didn’t want to fall down and die. (Like always, the idea of death by their hand caused an uneasy feeling to creep up in their stomach.) Bank notes were flying everywhere, fluttering down around them. It was rather aesthetic.
If they HAD to have their coffee interrupted for a fight, Alex would make sure it would be one they enjoyed, at least.
They looked down at Morgan, expecting their face to show at least a little bit of fear - villains in this situation usually did, that was king od the fun part! What they didn’t expect to happen was: “Damn, why are your eyes so pretty?”
That was the first genuine reaction of this kind Morgan had given them and, as far as Alex was aware, it was also the last. It was this encounter though, that changed their dynamic going forward.
The two started clashing, I’m lack of a better word, more and more often and even after Barnaby was back in business, Morgan, having readily accepted Alex into their circle of Nemeses, continued building encounters just for Alex. They began looking forward to it, adapting to Alex’ style of heroing and relying more on death traps intended to capture them rather than highly intellectual puzzles (though a puzzle or two were always present; their ultimate goal remained convincing Alex to actually give them a try).
They would give their spiel to Alex, caught up in various compromising positions, who would listen until they were done, then all at once free themselves and arrest them. It was a nice kind of routine.
As for Alex…
Well, they are caught in one of those traps right now, strapped to the wall, hands and feet extended in a starfish pose. In front of them, Morgan is frantically walking up and down, their arms moving excitedly as they’re explaining the intricacies of their newest plan - “so I sent out all the drones to deliver the invites, which meaaans, right about now, aaall the possible baby daddies are getting to the location - just in time for the engagement photo shoot. Ohh, this is gonna be funnn.” They wiggle their fingers in that cute excited way they always do when they are planning something particularly mischievous that always makes Alex want to melt at the sight of it. “But, BUT, that isn’t even the best part. You wanna know the best part?” Alex DOES want to know the best part. Partly because they enjoy watching Morgan monologue (the usual reason), but also partly because this might be the most intrigued they’ve been at any of their plans. They do have the slight suspicion they might even be the reason for this plan, they might have let some rumours slip last time they arrested Morgan. If they did… it is kind of hard to feel anything other than extremely satisfied about that. Not the usual heroic response to being the inspiration to a villain’s scheme but they are a terrible gossip first and a hero second, so it checks out.
Morgan doesn’t even wait for an answer; they never do. “That would defeat the point of a monologue”, as they had explained to them once.
They get close to Alex, lifting their chin up with one hand, then lean in closer to their face. Their heart just about doubles in speed. Morgan’s lips almost touch their ear as they whisper: “She isn’t even pregnant.”
No way!
Morgan returns to their old spot about half a metre in front of them. “Because here’s the thing - she lied to her boyfried about being pregnant so he would propose to her because she was scared that he’d find out she’s been cheating on him for the entire time they were together because he started to get suspicious. And he did, last week! But because he was already suspicious, he wanted to make sure she was ACTUALLY pregnant, so they go to a hospital, she thinks, holy shit, he’s gonna find out I’m not pregnant. But - here’s where I come into play.” They stop for air, their eyes positively lit up with anticipation.
Alex has given up on trying to keep a straight face. Seriously, who cares about heroing anyways when the tea is served this hot?
“I have a connection in the hospital they went to, so when she made them take the test, I told her to skewer the results to make it look like she WAS pregnant. And oh boy, did she take that and run with it, because not only did she give them a positive pregnancy test, she let them go home with a random ultrasound of a random pregnant person. So now, SHE thinks she’s pregnant but she doesn’t know who from. So I invited all the people she slept with outside of her relationship to the photo shoot and when they’re all together, I’m gonna tell all of them everything. Speaking of - I really do need to get ready.”
Once again, they close the distance between them and Alex, winking at them. “I’m the photographer.”
They turn around, starting to head out the door. Alex doesn’t move.
Morgan stops, confused. “Are you not gonna stop me? Usually, this is the point where you suddenly appear behind me and restrain me- Not that I want you to, I worked really hard on this, I’m just confused.”
Alex smirks, a smirk entirely unbecoming of the hero they claim to be but so very becoming of the gossip they are. “Actually? I think I’m just gonna watch this one.” A huge grin spreads across Morgan’s face. “Oooohhh, yeah. If you want chips, I have some in that cupboard there.” They point to an ancient looking wooden piece of furniture that is almost certainly puzzle locked. “So, I gotta go now, but from this window you should have an excellent view of the park where the shoot is, sooo… have fun watching.” And just like that, they hop out the door, a bounce in their step.
Alex quickly removes their restraints - Morgan hadn’t bothered because they knew well enough that it wasn’t necessary - and strides over to the window, looking down at the park at the ground where a small crowd of men were already standing, all looking more or less confused. They teleport a pack of chips from the cupboard into their hand, rip it open and lean against the window frame. This is gonna be good.