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Charlie woke up feeling worse than he had in a while, sure he had bad days everyone once and while but he could always manage them. Today was different. He could feel it. He felt heavy. So heavy that he almost felt numb. On days like this Charlie had little to no motivation to do anything or go anywhere, in fact he usually didn’t even leave his bed. But, he knew his mother would never let him skip school, Jane Spring was strict with her children, especially Charlie. While she definitely loved her children it was hard for her to understand the complexities of Charlie’s mental health and as a result she was often not the most empathetic person. So, Charlie forced himself to get up, slowly making his way out of bed and then across the hall to the bathroom so he could start getting ready for school. He looked at himself in the mirror, seeing that his eyes were heavy with tiredness and there were dark circles under his eyes to match his clear lack of sleep. He sluggishly made his way through his morning routine, brushing his teeth, washing his face, and putting on his uniform. He didn’t even bother to fix his hair and his shirt was extremely wrinkled but he didn’t care. Tori didn’t say anything to him on the bus ride to school even though all Charlie had eaten that morning was a granola bar. She knew better than to push him to talk. When they got off the bus Tori gave Charlie a reassuring nod to let him know that she cared, he returned her small gesture with a slight smile and then they went their separate ways.
Charlie knew the second he saw Nick he would know something was wrong, but he didn’t want Nick to worry, so he tried to put on a smile as he walked into form. Nick’s matching smile quickly faded once Charlie sat down next to him. He could see now how disheveled Charlie looked, he still had slight bags under his eyes, his shirt was wrinkled and his curls were sticking out in various directions. “Hi” Nick said, giving Charlie a slight smile, “hi” Charlie said slumping down in his chair. “Are you alright?” Nick said softly. Charlie nodded, putting his head down on the table “just tired” he said quietly, “I’m here, ok, if you need anything” Nick said, reaching his hand under the table to carefully intertwine their fingers. Charlie nodded, not having any energy to respond. For the rest of form Nick held onto Charlie’s hand giving it the occasional squeeze to remind Charlie he was there for him. By the time class was over Charlie hadn’t gotten any work done. He slowly got up from his seat and put all of his books back into his bag and Nick waited patiently for him so they could leave together. Just as they were about to part ways in the hallway Nick pulled Charlie in for a hug, it surprised Charlie at first because they were rarely this affectionate in the corridors but he quickly relaxed, slumping into Nick.
It amazed Charlie that Nick could always tell what he needed. Ever since Charlie came home after his time at the clinic Nick was there, right by Charlie’s side helping him through his recovery. Their time apart only made their relationship stronger. Even though Charlie counted on his sister Tori, his friends, his parents (sometimes), and Geoff, Nick was his home. He knew it probably wasn’t the healthiest mindset but Nick was the only one who truly understood Charlie. Charlie still struggled with eating when he returned from the clinic, something Geoff said was to be expected, and being around Nick during meal times helped. Nick never judged Charlie or mentioned that he wasn’t eating, or mentioned that he hadn’t eaten enough, unlike Charlie’s mother, who always scolded her son during dinner. Jane Spring tried her best to be supportive but she always resorted to anger and frustration when Charlie struggled to eat, rather than showing empathy. While Charlie knew his mother had no ill intent she still wasn’t the best to be around during dinnertime. She never understood why he went to Nick’s to eat dinner instead, but Nick made him feel safe. Nick was standing in the middle of the hallway hugging Charlie just because he knew Charlie needed comfort.
Nick pressed a light kiss to the top of Charlie’s head, squeezed him one more time and then pulled away from the hug. “Wait” Charlie said weakly, holding on to Nick’s wrist, “don’t go” he said tears welling in his eyes. Nick’s own heart swelled, his face softened, and his own eyes started to fill with tears, “c’mere” Nick said, opening his arms, Charlie gladly accepted Nick’s hug, letting himself relax in his arms. “We have to go to class now, love” Nick said after a few seconds. He gently tried to remove Charlie from his arms, but Charlie was stubborn, “hmm no” Charlie mumbled into Nick’s shirt, wrapping his arms back around Nick’s waist. Nick carefully peeled Charlie’s arms off of his waist, “nooo! Come back!” Charlie whined, Nick chuckled, “I’ll see you at lunch, at the picnic tables” Nick said giving Charlie one last hug, “yeah, I’ll see you later” Charlie replied. Nick gave Charlie a smile and then they both went their separate ways.
By the time lunch came around Charlie was even more sluggish than he was when he got to school. Some of his teachers noticed and were not pleased with his “lack of focus” and his supposed “lack of respect” because apparently the only logical explanation for Charlie laying his head on his desk was that he “didn’t care about his education” as another teacher put it. The fact that he basically skipped breakfast definitely didn't help his concentration because his stomach was practically screaming at him to eat and he felt nauseous just thinking about food. Despite the fact that Charlie knew his body needed food, he knew he wouldn’t be eating lunch, his emotional state simply wouldn’t let him.
Charlie went and sat down at the group's usual picnic table, not even bothering to greet Isaac or Tao, he just didn’t have the energy. He could hear Isaac and Tao arguing about something but he wasn’t listening, he was too lost in his own thoughts. “Hello?! Earth to Charlie! What’s going on with you? Charlie!” Tao said, waving his hand in front of Charlie’s face. “Tao!” Issac said, whacking his hand out of the way and then turning his attention back to his book. Before Tao could interject with a snarky comment, Nick sat down at the table and greeted everyone. Nick ignored Tao trying to take Isaac’s book away from him and turned to face Charlie. He was slumped over the table with his chin resting on his hands. He seemed to be staring off into space, unaware of what was happening around him. Nick’s heart sank when he noticed Charlie’s lunch, which he set down on the table but hadn’t touched. Charlie didn’t eat on his bad days.
Nick could always sense when Charlie was struggling, even before Charlie had bad days, today was no different. Nick knew the second he saw Charlie that morning that he was having one of his bad days. “Char” Nick said softly, leaning closer to Charlie on the bench, that seemed to snap Charlie out of his trance because he looked up at Nick, his eyes red and puffy from crying. Nick immediately wrapped his arms around Charlie, rubbing his hands down Charlie’s back to soothe him. Nick felt a wet patch forming on his shirt, when he looked down he could see Charlie starting to cry, “oh love, it’s okay, I’m here, I’m here, you’re okay” Nick whispered, continuing to rub circles on Charlie’s back. “Charlie, can you pry yourself away from Nick for two seconds and back me up here!” Tao said, “Isaac is saying that the new Marvel show Agatha All Along is actually good even though it’s absolute garbage and I need someone else to tell him he’s wrong!” Tao said glaring at Isaac. Nick felt Charlie tense up in his arms and burrow further into his chest.
Nick turned his attention over to Tao and Isaac, “sorry guys Charlie will have to settle your debate another day, we’re going to spend the rest of lunch in the art block” Nick said knowing that it would be easier for Charlie to eat something if they were alone. “Is that all right, love?” Nick whispered. Charlie nodded into his chest, “oh come onnn!” Tao said, rolling his eyes, “can’t you spend one lunch block with us, you’re always with Nick anyway” Tao complained. “Tao! Leave them alone!” Isaac scolded, giving Tao a look that said Charlie needs to be alone with Nick, let them be. Tao couldn’t have been more oblivious and ignored the look Isaac gave him. “But he’s always paying more attention to Nick! We’re his friends, we deserve some of his attention!” Tao said, crossing his arms across his chest. “You two are practically attached at the hip! And don’t even think about giving me crap about saying that because you both know I’m right” Tao said, glaring at Nick “you should stay here with your friends, that you barely hang out with, and settle our debate once and for all!” Tao said with a stern look on his face.
“Tao, this isn’t about you!” Nick yelled, getting frustrated, “have you considered that Charlie might be having a bad day! You say he’s not paying attention to you but you haven’t even noticed that he’s been crying!” Nick felt Charlie shaking in his arms, he was crying again, “oh I’m sorry, love, I shouldn’t have yelled, I know you hate that” Nick said. “I-It’s all r-right, I-I know you’re defending me” Charlie stuttered. Nick looked back up at Tao who had a shocked look on his face, “I didn’t know” Tao said. “I-It’s f-fine T-Tao, l-let’s just go Nick” Charlie said, removing himself from Nick’s arms so he could pack up his lunch.
“Charlie, I’m sorry, don’t go, I’ll stop arguing with Isaac” Tao pleaded, “I’m sorry I made fun of you and Nick, you guys are fine… most of the time, and we hang out… sometimes” Tao said, Isaac rolled his eyes, he was definitely not convinced Tao was actually apologizing. “Me and N-Nick are n-not, I-I j-just, N-Nick is the only– I-I d-don’t – just leave us alone!” Charlie sobbed, running away from the picnic table and back into the school. ”Char!” Nick called after him, but it was too late, he was gone. Nick was furious, “I can’t believe you Tao! You of all people! I thought you were Charlie’s best friend! Clearly you aren’t because his best friend wouldn’t treat him like that!” Nick screamed, “sorry I made fun of you and Nick, I’ll stop arguing with Isaac, you and Nick are fine most of the time, we hang out sometimes!” He said mocking Tao, “what kind of half-assed apology was that?!” Tao tried to open his mouth to say something but Nick cut him off, “oh I’m not done! Charlie was having a breakdown because he’s having a difficult mental health day and you were too busy with your stupid argument with Isaac to even notice?!” Tao tried to interject once more but Nick wasn’t having that, “now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to find my boyfriend and give him some love and support instead of making assumptions and getting upset with him!” Nick didn’t even bother to stick around and hear what Tao had to say; he just stormed off in the direction of the school to go look for Charlie.
Nick made his way to the art block, finding Charlie sitting in the back corner of Mr. Ajayi’s classroom. He was hugging his knees up to his chest and Nick could hear him crying. “Oh Char, it’s all right, I’m here love” Nick said, sitting down next to Charlie on the floor. “Hey, where’s that lovely face of yours, can you look at me?” Nick asked, softly lifting Charlie’s chin up so he could look Nick in the eyes, “there he is” Nick said smiling. “S-Shut up, I l-look like c-crap” Charlie mumbled, wiping tears off of his cheeks. “Hey, stop being so mean to my boyfriend” Nick frowned, “and for the record, you never look like crap, you are always beautiful in my eyes” he added, giving Charlie a peck on the cheek. “S-stop you are so sappy!” Charlie giggled, wiping more tears from his eyes, “really? You want me to stop? Then why are you smiling” Nick smirked. Charlie rolled his eyes, “fine, I’ll stop, but only if you talk to me”
Nick gently grabbed Charlie’s hand, intertwining their fingers, “I-I just woke up feeling s-so off, like there was something weighing me d-down” Charlie stuttered, “I-I could only manage a granola bar this m-morning and then I started to feel nauseous, a-and my teachers got mad at me because I couldn’t f-focus in c-class” Charlie said, tears starting to form in his eyes again, “then Tao got annoyed with me! And you! And then I-I j-just s-started c-crying and I-I couldn't s-stop!” Charlie sobbed. “I-I always feel s-so useless o-on my bad days and I hate feeling like this!” Charlie’s breathing became rapid and he was practically choking on air in an attempt to even out his breaths. “Hey, hey, hey, breathe with me Char, deep breaths all right, breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out” Nick was accustomed to doing breathing exercises with Charlie, sometimes it was the only thing that could calm him down. Well besides Nick.
Once his breathing evened out Charlie pulled Nick into his arms for a hug, Nick immediately wrapped his arms around Charlie, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. Nick pulled away after a few seconds, making sure to hold on to Charlie’s hand for comfort, “it’s ok to not be ok Char, I always want you to lean on me, I will always be there for you, I’m your boyfriend, Char, and I love you so much” Nick said, softly wiping tears from Charlie’s cheek with this thumb. “I’m sorry you're struggling today love, what Tao said wasn’t true, you are an amazing friend, and an even better boyfriend, in fact I don’t think we spend enough time together” Nick said, placing another kiss on Charlie’s cheek. “You’re just bias” Charlie said, a smiling threatening to break through, “hmm maybe but if anything my love for you is only proof that you are in fact the best boyfriend ever” Nick smiled, “you should not have to feel bad about leaning on me for support, especially on days that you’re struggling, I want to help you, because I love you” Nick said, cradling Charlie’s cheek in his hand. “I love you too” Charlie said, leaning in to press their lips together in a kiss. It was a chaste, kiss filled with all the love they felt for each other. Nick poured his heart into the kiss in order to relay to Charlie that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he deserved the world and Nick would do anything to give it to him.
Tao peaked his head out from behind the door of the art room, “I know you both probably don’t want to see me right now but I came to apologize, for real this time, if that’s all right” he said quietly. “Get on with it then” Charlie said, motioning for Tao to join him and Nick. “I’m sorry!” Tao blurted out, “I’m so so sorry, I was so caught up in my stupid argument about Marvel that I didn’t even notice that you were crying, Marvel films are ridiculous, they are not worth ruining our friendship, I mean I don’t understand how anyone could stand to watch those absolute monstrosities, I mean can you imagine me Tao Xu watching a Marvel film, pfft! And they just keep making more of them I–" "TAO!?” Nick and Charlie said, rolling their eyes, “All right, I get it not the point of this conversation” Tao said, raising his hands in surrender, “I really am sorry Charlie, I shouldn’t have gotten so upset with you, that wasn’t fair, I’m sorry that I just assumed you were ditching me and Isaac, I should’ve offered support, you were upset and you’re having a bad day, I should’ve been there for you” he said. “And Nick, as much as it pains me, I guess I also owe you an apology, you are always there for Charlie, the two of you are clearly disgustingly in love and even though I make fun of you for that, I’m really glad Charlie has you” Tao said in a surprisingly sincere tone. “Thank you Tao, that means a lot coming from you” Nick replied, “thank you Tao, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was having a bad day” Charlie added, “Charlie please do not apologize for my idiotic behavior” Tao said, “he’s right you have done nothing wrong my love” Nick said, placing another soft kiss to Charlie’s lips. “Ok that’s my cue to leave!” Tao said practically sprinting out of the classroom. Nick and Charlie looked at each other fondly and burst out laughing. If there was one thing they could count on it was Tao not wanting to be anywhere near them when they were being “disgustingly in love.”