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"Comrade!" Thor boomed from the rec room, and Clint sighed dramatically.
"I don't care if she said yes to the dress, Thor, that's how the show works!"
"No no, you must see this! It's us!"
"What could he possibly mean?" Steve queried, "What would we be doing on Say Yes to the Dress?"
And so, out of a vague curiosity and a lack of anything else to do, the Avengers piled in to join Thor, who had paused the TV on a terrible still-shot of the Avengers sitting down at comic-con.
"It's on TV?" Peter wondered aloud, rather pointlessly considering it clearly was, it was right there, Thor was watching it.
"Anyone feel like seeing how stupid we look?" Peter smirked.
"Bruce!" Tony called in the general direction of the kitchen, "Get the popcorn and get in here!"
"Steve," the first question was directed at Captain America himself, "why the dress?"
Both on-screen Steve and the Steve watching recited, in perfect unison, "It's for feminism, okay?" The long rant that continued, mainly based on how hyper-sexualised girls were and how girls were actually far too badass to be treated like this, just take Natasha, was cut off midway (and Steve grumbled, because it had been a very good rant), by someone shouting,
"Bucky, pout for us!" Sitting on the sofa, munching on popcorn, Bucky complained,
"They're obsessed."
"Well yeah," Clint pointed out, lounging half-on the sofa much in the way he was on screen, although Natasha was keeping him somewhat in line, "they all dressed up like us. They're all nerds. They worship us, bitches!" He punched the air, accidentally punching Bruce as he did so, who 'affectionately' kicked Hawkeye's head in return.
"They worship me most," Peter's chest puffed out proudly, "most are dressed up like me."
"Are you sure?" Pietro frowned at the screen, "I'm pretty sure they are a lot of Captain Americas there."
"....I may have cheated," Peter admitted.
Thor had clearly got bored of the panel after some time of answering pointless questions, as he suddenly stood up, knocking his chair over with a loud clatter, and launched himself into the audience to hug random people. Rather than attempt to stop him, the Avengers rolled with it, Tony being slightly louder and gesturing slightly harder to make up for it but not bothering to call the demigod back to his seat.
"I do not understand," Thor frowned at his televised self, "was it wrong to do that? In my culture, it is considered acceptable to -"
"Thor," Bruce cut in, "you've adapted to Earth far better than you let on."
Thor smirked, shrugging easily. "It is such fun to confuse the mortals, though."
"He can get away with anything," complained Tony.
"Scott Lang," one particularly brave person asked, "you're still technically a felon. Do you think you should go back to prison?"
"Well, no?" Scott replied. Even a week later as he watched it, Scott looked bothered by the question, but accepted everyone's assertions that he most certainly should not be in prison because the world needed him more than jail did.
A loud bang made all of the Avengers jump so hard that Vision knocked over the popcorn. On-screen Wanda shook her hand, palm reddened from slamming it on the table, and ordered into the shocked silence that followed, "Bring me food."
There wasn't much of a problem until someone called out, "How is Captain America a fag?" Everyone gasped, and Pietro turned to Steve so fast that his head was a blur, as were his next words.
"Hey Cap can I end them?" the almost disinterested way he said this was undercut by the trembling anger in his voice, but Steve, who's jaw was clenched too tightly to answer, shook his head minutely.
"Why couldn't I kill them?" Pietro, who was clearly still angry about the question, complained.
"You're all idiots." Vision announced, but never explained his reasoning, and Steve didn't deign it with an answer, either thinking it obvious or because he was regretting his decision no-one could tell.
"Who's the hottest Avenger?" was one of the next questions, presumably to break the tension that was still stretched tight after the homophobic idiot was forcefully removed from the premises (not by Pietro, no matter how much he wanted to), and Steve, whom it was directed at, blushed a deep red that ran all over his face and down his neck. He stammered slightly, unable to form the words for an answer, and in the end the askee gave up and turned to Natasha. "How does it feel being the hottest member of the Avengers?"
She laughed, although the set of her shoulders showed just how uncomfortable she was with that question. "Have you seen Thor?"
"Why didn't you say me?" Tony pouted, throwing popcorn kernels at Steve's laughing figure.
"It's definitely you, Tony, don't sulk," Steve replied, rolling his eyes but grinning in mirth.
Next up in awkward questions 101 was asked to Pietro. "Have you ever seen Wanda naked?"
Pietro recoiled, making a face, and was still struggling to find apt ways to demonstrate his distaste without puking in front of everyone when Sam saved him by winking and saying, "I have."
The next five minutes were the audience muttering amongst themselves, rumours of Scarlet Falcon finally confirmed, and, Wanda, watching from behind the large, half-eaten bowl of popcorn, turned to Sam.
"Now they all know," she pointed out, sounding less upset about the turn of events than her words indicated, and Sam shrugged, smoothly fitting an arm over her shoulders.
"Let them know," he smiled genuinely, his eyes lighting up with love, before gesturing back to the screen. "It's time for Tony to shine!"
The man that had earlier insulted Tony's skills at being Iron Man had somehow ended up at the panel, and began his own tirade against Tony, claiming that he knew how to be Iron Man far better than Tony did. In his defence, Tony lasted a surprising few minutes of being called stupid before he leaned to the microphone and said, "Now, I've never hit a civilian before..."
The man shut up pretty fast.
"You're right," Tony grinned ruefully when he realised everyone was watching him, judging his televised antics, "I probably have hit a civilian before."
"Well," Steve muttered, standing up and stretching when the show was over, "that went surprisingly well, didn't it?"
"No-one died," Vision agreed solemnly, looking confused when the rest of the team were sent into peals of laughter.