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Baek Saheon cursed his life.
Not only had he experienced a fucking orientation that he didn't sign up for of his own free will, but also resulted in the taking of one of his eyes.
But worst of all, he now had to share a room with the psychopath who was to blame for this.
So as soon as he saw him walk through the door, he couldn't stand it. The bastard looked so calm, without any sense of conscience about his actions, and he was heading calmly towards his room.
'Oh no, I won't let you get away with this'
He admits that when he started attacking him he was aiming to make him feel guilty, he had seen the asshole being kind to others in the subway car and seemed to have altruistic attitudes, so he expected the idiot to get down on his knees and beg for mercy, perhaps guided by that ridiculous sanctimonious act he was carrying.
But contrary to his expectations, he calmly replied: "Oh, I found that pretty amusing".
At that precise moment, a searing burn surged across his right forearm, finally settling on his wrist. He knew what that meant.
Through his distraction he missed the bastard's proximity and received a firm grip on his shoulder. All his developed survival instincts screamed at him that he was in danger in this presence.
The fucking asshole went on a diatribe about “dopamine rush”, “working together” and something like “it'll be fun”, but his words fell on deaf ears.
All Baek Saheon could think at that moment was that he was fucked.
'Of all the people in the world... Why did he have to be his soulmate?'
Even when the bastard left the room, he could only sit in the same position for a few hours. Eventually he realised what nonsense he was doing and went to his room.
But even in his own room he couldn't regain the calm he longed for, it seemed that today would be the definitive worst day ever for Baek Saheon.
Even when he got into bed looking for some rest, he couldn't find it.
His thoughts were still plagued by the whole of today, trying to analyse all the information accurately.
He remembered the idiots in the subway car, wanting to cling to this psychopath, as if he was a shepherd who would lead them to salvation. They were pathetic, if they wanted to save their lives they could only rely on themselves, why trust your survival to someone else? why give them that power?
But if the others were idiots, at least they were justified because they are pathetic, but Kim Soleum, as capable as he was, seemed to have this idyllic belief in wanting to save everyone there, which made him a bigger and worse idiot than the others.
Now that he knew his true face, he realised that this insane man hadn't helped because he's just a sanctimonious, but because he's an adrenaline junkie.
And he, like an idiot, believed in the sanctimonious mask, as if he didn't know that people help others only for their own benefit. He presented himself to him, wanting to form a temporary union in order to survive.
Wait...
Now that he remembered, when he told that bastard his name... hadn't he reacted as if he had heard it before?
His memory couldn't fail him, he hadn't analysed it at the time because of the situation but now he could tell how a slight flash of recognition had shown in his eyes, along with the awakening of a slight interest.
That crazy man... did he have his name as a soulmark?
But if that was the case, why would he treat his soulmate like that? Unless...
Did that weirdo have a sadistic tendency...?
It was possible, considering he's a psychopath.
Baek Saheon stayed up all night that night, cursing fate, not only for tying him to someone like Kim Soleum, who wasn't only a psychopath, but also a man.
He cursed fate for all the hardships he had to experience for as long as he had memory.
It wouldn't even give him a break with his soulmate...
But weren't soulmates a punishment in the first place? Even he didn't have full control of the decision, he was completely tied down.
The only consolation he could count on now was that this asshole was also tied to him.
There was no consolation.
The few times he saw Kim Soleum, it was in his living room watching cartoons. It was totally terrifying to watch a stoic man earnestly and attentively watching children's content, but considering he was a psychopath it should be normal.
But besides those few times when their paths crossed, he didn't see the other often, but he always seemed to be present in the whispers of other coworkers, company announcements or in group chat messages.
It was as if fate wanted to remind him of their presence often. Fortunately Baek Saheon was stubborn and wasn't about to let fate dominate him.
Kim Soleum seemed to share the same idea as him, because at first he had been indifferent to the revelation of soulmates, the problem came later, when the psychopath joined the group chat.
Watch out for serial killers
He started sending him those kinds of messages every day, at specific times, it almost seemed like a routine for his roommate. If it wasn't complicated to change rooms because human resources didn't care, he would have done it by now.
It seemed the bastard understood that too and had come up with the plan to get rid of him.
Typical psychopathic thinking.
Or worse, maybe he disliked knowing that his soulmate was a man...
Not that he liked being tied to someone like him either, but he hadn't gone to such lengths. Though the reason was mostly because the other was terrifying, if he could survive all those darknesses and even break records, then he didn't think he would be able to go against him.
Maybe he wasn't even human.
He still didn't even fully understand why he had saved him in the exhibition, if he wanted to kill him so badly, why did he save him?
The discomfort he felt about this still lingered. Baek Saheon vehemently claimed that it was because it hurt him to be humiliated and to think of having to lower himself to thank Kim Soleum.
If he stood in the vent watching his wrist for a long time to see if it would turn black, it was only out of curiosity. Not that he cared to know if that idiot was still alive.
Possibly a maniac like him wouldn't die for something so simple, after all he is a monstrous rookie.
He also ignored the feeling of relief that settled in his chest at seeing him again.
So when he came out of that darkness he let his guard down and thought that maybe it was all a macabre joke and that he just wanted to see his reaction to the ominous messages, that the interest would pass and he would look for something else to entertain himself.
Unfortunately the messages continued.
That's when the idea dawned that possibly this psycho wanted him to let his guard down just to get more dopamine from seeing him stressed out.
And although he later realised that he had been wrong and that it was all the fault of that tape his relative gave him, that didn't take away the fact that he still felt chills when he remembered the image of the man with an axe.
Neither will he recover from the torture to which he was subjected, being forced to perform forced labour and re-enact crime scenes in that lodge.
But above all, he still couldn't get the thought of seeing Kim Soleum, that bastard, talking to the others out of his mind. On those two occasions, he observed how well he treated Go Youngeun and that agent, from afar it was evident how differently he was treated compared to them.
The kind smiles and the affection he showed when talking to them almost seemed like it wasn't fake. If he didn't know he was a psychopath he would believe it.
But that didn't help him either, how could that weirdo act nicer to strangers and not to his soulmate ?
Does he like to terrorise the target of his affection?
No, wait, his thoughts were rambling. He wasn't the target of that asshole's affection, he even considered that because he was a psychopath he couldn't love... so why? why did he have him as a soulmate too?
Why couldn't he just be normal and treat him right?
Why didn't he give him support like a soulmate should?
Why did he even care about all that?
Baek Saheon hated soulmates, life had taught him that he could only rely on himself.
He couldn't get attached to someone again.
He couldn't lose someone else.
It was better to ignore Kim Soleum's presence, act as if he didn't exist.
He would save so much trouble if that idiot would just disappear completely.
In the end, he couldn't ignore the psycho.
When he heard him knocking on his door he thought that maybe he wanted to talk about soulmates. Maybe that idiot needed a new topic to give him a “dopamine rush” and that's why he came, but then he concluded that a lunatic like him wouldn't come for a boring topic like that.
It was obviously related to the darkness to which the company had given them instructions.
After all, that creepy asshole only seemed to be interested in the darknesses, even his morbid comments about it made his shiver.
If he didn't know they were soulmates, he'd think that the psychopath's soulmate was some darkness... Or worse, that Kim Soleum was a darkness that wore the skin of a human so well that the dream essence didn't recognise his lack of humanity.
But monster or not, he couldn't help but follow his advice and enter that darkness following his indications. After all, the desire to get an interesting item was too tempting to pass up, maybe he could even get one that could get rid of Kim Soleum.
He couldn't help but think of the irony that it was Kim Soleum himself who, in offering him help, was unwittingly handing him the keys to his own doom.
He could already see his future bright, he would be free of having to tiptoe around him, and he could rest easy at night without thinking that he had a maniac on his side who could kill him at any moment if he pissed him off.
The plan hadn't worked.
He had to know that since he had tried to get rid of Kim Soleum in that darkness. Part of him rationalised it as getting rid of the enemy, even the company would give him bonus points for discovering a mole.
The other, very small part, and the part he would never admit, was that he didn't like seeing him so close again with that officer.
He also didn't like Kim Soleum's eyes, which didn't seem at all surprised by his action. As if it was an everyday occurrence for him that your soulmate, your destiny , wants to kill you.
Baek Saheon wouldn't admit that the thought hurt him.
Likewise, he would never admit to the unease of seeing how Kim Soleum always seemed to think of him as a weed even when he knew it was the truth.
So when he got the item and noticed that it would allow him to remain hidden from the other's sight, he didn't hesitate to use it.
He had his desired peace for a short time, but he appreciated it.
During this time, even though he should have stayed away from the other, it seemed that having the power of the pen gave him a courage he didn't have before, so he no longer retreated immediately to his room to avoid contact with the other.
On the contrary, he watched Kim Soleum's every action.
Baek Saheon justified this behaviour as a test to see if the power of the pen was really working, but his excuses became more ridiculous as time went on.
He noticed when he was no longer making fun of the other's face with grimaces and moved to sit next to him on the couch, watching his tired eyes sparkle with joy as he watched the ponies defeat the villain by the power of friendship.
Baek Saheon usually caught himself thinking that for a psychopath he was very cute in those rare moments. Of course, that image went to shit when he started talking to that plushie bunny, which brought him out of those terrible daydreams.
In the end he realised that possibly all this nonsense was due to the damned power of soulmates, it was fate playing against him, artificially creating emotions on his part towards someone like Kim Soleum.
But Baek Saheon was smarter, he knew he would never fall in love with someone like that guy.
Sure, he was good looking, he could even say Kim Soleum could be an idol, and it was a surprise that he wasn't a trainee.
And even though Baek Saheon might be considered by other people to have low morals, he was still a reasonable guy and the most reasonable thing in this world wasn't to fall in love with a two-faced psycho who treats you like dog shit on his shoe.
That's why a small part of him was glad to be discovered, after all, he didn't know how much longer he could stand the power of fate that made him hallucinate, seeing Kim Soleum in a new, much warmer and more tender light.
It was good that he stopped thinking that all those nights it wasn't Kim Soleum talking to that bunny, but to him. Nor did he want to think that those nights were just two people sharing a brief moment of comfort after a day of facing horrors and counting on each other's warmth to endure the despair of their future, fearing to die without getting their wish fulfilled.
He wanted to ignore the warm feeling that gripped his chest when sometimes, unconsciously, Kim Soleum would feel another body close to him and lay his head lightly on his shoulder.
If during the experience in Abyss Transpo he had believed that Kim Soleum looked like a shepherd leading his sheep, that was a far cry from what happened in Tamra Express.
There he watched Kim Soleum develop as if it were his natural habitat, as if to be praised and seen as a guide to the salvation of mere insignificant mortals was something only he could do.
His eyes were filled with a brightness, possibly excited at being a dopamine junkie. But that same look caused a slight uneasiness and shivers down his spine.
That look was just like the people from his village.
No, the appearance Kim Soleum looked like at that moment wasn't just a mere follower, but a God who was clamouring for attention through sweet words that concealed deception. That creepy bastard must have been salivating at the sight of the others clinging to him, as if divinity itself had descended.
That red halo above his head didn't help the picture he painted either.
A God like the one they told him about in his childhood, Ireum- nim. One that they plagued with excessive praise and worship, one that only idiots clung to in order to be saved.
Only Baek Saheon observed the truth behind all the nonsense they called “faith”.
Belief in a God tainted and corrupted the minds of idiots, leaving in their hands neglected people who didn't deserve such a cruel fate.
They were simple fools who knelt on their knees for a God who didn't even care about their wellbeing, a God with whom they only liked to get ridiculous ideas of salvation and false promises of happiness.
All this was unfolding before his eyes as he watched the passengers clinging to "Pathfinder", as the others had decided to call it. The fervour and affection in their gazes was unsettling, but what was most frightening was that these feelings had arisen in such a short time.
This ridiculous man was seriously a perfect cult leader, he might even have been a cult leader before he joined the company.
Even fate was cruel enough to give him the characteristics he despised most in someone to his soulmate?
Maybe this was karma for insulting Ireum-nim or the idea of soulmates, but none of that mattered, he would never regret saying that.
Fuck fate!
Besides, he had other matters to worry about, the first being survival and the second being ignoring the terror he felt in every fibre of his being as he watched this terrifying man freely embrace this new identity.
Sure, he knew it was a complete lie and that the bastard had some item to make the others become crazy fanatics, but that didn't help it all feel any less real.
Fortunately they survived in despite all the unexpected events. And luck seemed to be on his side because he didn't have to endure the torture of jumping at any point.
The euphoria he felt at being freed from the darkness was spectacular and with a thrill of reaping the benefits he headed for car 7.
He was surprised when he didn't see Kim Soleum, but maybe it was for the best.
They had just escaped and it was possible that the other had gone to the restroom because the dopamine was so strong that he couldn't hide his euphoria, which could leave a bad impression on the other members of the elite team.
Typical of a psychopath.
That's why he considered no longer tempting his luck and disappearing, making the excuse to go looking for him. Unfortunately C-team supervisor, Lee Seonghae, ruined his perfect escape.
So he reluctantly went there, but outside the door he found a man collapsed on the ground with both arms and legs amputated.
The image was terrifying, and even knowing that Kim Soleum could be a dopamine addicted psychopath, he knew there was no way he could have done that kind of damage to the man (or so he wanted to believe).
With trembling hands and trying to keep his composure, he tried to pick the lock with some techniques he had learned in his youth.
Fortunately he succeeded, but what he received wasn't at all what he expected.
There was no one there and it looked like a normal express train restroom, which portrayed an ominous scene because that idiot, Kim Soleum, should have been there.
His neck prickled, his instincts told him to back off, and he did. In all his years of life, his instincts never failed him.
That's when things started falling out of thin air... Along with blood.
He couldn't process the situation clearly and his mind had almost left him. The situation didn't get any better when he noticed a giant hand appear and push him away.
Through the eye given to him by Kim Soleum he observed the red halo, but it wasn't necessary, it was obvious that the part of the being in front of him was dangerous.
He remembered that being had picked up a simple tub, which when lifted spilled all its bloody contents. Along with that, it also picked up a simple ribbon and gave a talk that to this day he doesn't want to repeat again.
On that day Baek Saheon was able to survive despite being exposed to two terrifying situations.
That day was designated as Kim Soleum's death.
One of Baek Saheon's wishes came true.
So... why did he feel a tightness in his chest?
Baek Saheon felt perfect.
This was everything he had wished for, a place all to himself. He could do whatever he wanted, no longer had to listen to episodes of some children's cartoon or put up with his psycho partner.
It was obvious that the fucking bastard was going to get himself into trouble at some point because of that fatal flaw of being a dopamine seeker.
His mark was cold, the warmth that had always accompanied it had ended since the disappearance of that lunatic. Moreover, the last time he saw it, it was blackish in colour and the veins pulsated prominently around it.
From that moment on he avoided seeing the soulmark, not out of sentimentality, but out of disgust. He still remembers clearly what it looked like; it looked as if at any moment a parasite was going to burst out of there and devour him. It was a reminder of what Kim Soleum had been and how soul mates drain you until you are completely consumed.
But Baek Saheon was smart, he didn't let himself be consumed.
And if at any time he seemed down, it was because of the consequences of having experienced contamination. He wasn't going through the pain they were talking about on the forums after losing his soulmate, not at all.
And now that he was feeling better, he was eligible to receive the benefit of going to The Fox Counselling Room.
And the best part was that it was free!!
Luck seemed to be smiling too much on him, because even that creepypasta therapist was always handing out extra nameplates after every session.
He was already coming up with ideas to take advantage of the benefits he could get from other employees.
Obviously he should feel euphoric.
Baek Saheon made his way to the room of his dear departed companion while humming with a blank stare “I used to wonder friendship could be” and placed the nameplate on the door.
As he was about to open the door, he was surprised to see someone pushing it open.
Standing in front of him was his deceased roommate.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That was impossible, he had stopped seeing him a long time ago, this couldn't happen again.
“K-Kim Soleum”
His voice came from his lips, but he almost didn't recognise it, it sounded so weak and broken.
It was obviously normal, it frightened him to see someone officially identified as missing and presumed dead in front of him.
He had seen how the soulmark seemed to fade, he knew what that meant. He had already accepted another's death.
The creepy bastard dared to smile in front of him, as if it was all a dream. No, possibly it was a darkness, did it choose Kim Soleum for the supposed fact that they were soulmates? How ridiculous, he could overcome this darkness without hesitation.
There was no other explanation for seeing this lunatic casually walk out of the Fox Counselling Room.
Baek Saheon slapped his cheeks hard, he had to react. But the throbbing pain in his face made it clear to him that the current situation wasn't a dream or imagination.
He had to hold back the urge to insult the psychopath and the stinging burning in his eyes slightly. It was obviously due to the fatigue of having stayed up all night watching some cartoons.
Fortunately the other didn't notice and their chat went without problems. Sure, there was some teasing on his part but finally there was a proper transaction between both.
Everything ended well, Baek Saheon still had the room to himself (for a limited time possibly) and he didn't have to put up with his psycho partner (for now).
His smile was only due to the happiness of being able to get some good items, it had nothing to do with Kim Soleum.
Baek Saheon was anxious for a long time. That maniac hadn't wanted to contact him, had he backed down? no, that wasn't possible.
The bastard must be interested in listening gossips, all for dopamine and blah blah blah.
But it was good that he didn't insist because he still didn't really get anything, yet he still wanted to find an excuse to see him.
Obviously for a material purpose, he wanted to get some item as soon as possible.
His soul hasn't succumbed, this earthly body won't either. Being tied to a psychopath wasn't the best thing but he could continue to ignore that until the end of time, as he had always done.
He remembered how in the beginning he had been a delusional child believing that there would be someone who would understand and complete him. But those were lies told to children, none soulmates would repair or appreciate their pieces.
Baek Saheon learned that he could only rely on himself. Anything dictated by fate, luck or such nonsense was ridiculous. He still remembers that something he was looking forward to later became a bad stain on how fate wanted to take over and control him.
Still...
Sometimes, when he let himself be dragged into the depths of his dreams, he liked to imagine a happier life. Laughing and spending time with his sister like normal people, or even escaping that damned village together.
He also imagined situations where he wasn't alone, where he had someone with black hair and a warm smile at his side, someone who could offer him even a hint of warmth in his stormy life.
Unfortunately, dreams are just dreams that are often forgotten.
Baek Saheon always makes a conscious and firm decision to forget them every day.
Seeing Kim Soleum as a cat didn't help to disbelieve that the creepy bastard was a darkness.
Even his soulmate wasn't just a possible former cult leader but also a darkness? Baek Saheon didn't want to know what that meant for him, or rather, what it meant about him.
Still, helping him had been a good thing. Now they were in a café, obviously because of the promise he had made, to receive the item he wanted.
This wasn't a date.
He also had to give an exchange of information and he did, he was proud of the information he gave, but by the look on Kim Soleum's face it was as if the other knew about it.
As if he was omnipotent.
But there was something that was bothering him from the darkness Mermaid Grave.
He had heard the commotion that had ensued because one of the children had no right arm, even the other contaminated children had clung to him and cried as they tried to give him comforting phrases.
Baek Saheon could take that with indifference, but the problem was that the child was Kim Soleum. So he wasn't an innocent child who had lost an arm during a terrible accident, and as far as he could remember the other one wasn't one-armed before either, he might have been contaminated but not blind.
He knew it was none of his business, especially when he had already received the necronomicon, a powerful item he so desperately yearned to receive.
Still he couldn't help it, his voice echoed softly in that café with a simple question.
“Why don't you have a right arm anymore?”
Kim Soleum who was preparing to get up looked at him with a raised eyebrow and slight surprise on his face, as if it had never crossed his mind that he would ask his anything.
“Why would that be any of your business?”
Despite the annoyance in his voice, he sat again, possibly driven by curiosity at his abnormal behaviour.
Even Baek Saheon didn't know what was wrong with him, he just let his anger blur his mind.
"Don't you know what it means? Sure, you can make it look like it still exists by an item but you don't know if that would erase your soulm-..."
Baek Saheon's voice trailed off, he realised that it was actually beneficial to him.
Wasn't it better to break the bond? Maybe even the lunatic had cut his arm trying to make that happen.
The thought brought a slight ache to his chest. That seemed to be a frequent occurrence, he would have to go to the hospital for medical check-ups, maybe he was even developing heart problems because of that fucking company.
Silence descended, it was awkward and Baek Saheon felt uncomfortable, he felt judged, maybe at that moment Kim Soleum would finally broach the subject that had plagued them from the beginning but that they never wanted to discuss...
Maybe he would even say something to provoke him, or perhaps being a dopamine addict he would want to experiment with a man even if it was disgusting.
Possibly that bastard had it all planned out... yeah, that idiot always seems to be ahead, maybe now he'd tell him that that cat and mouse game was fun but now they could begin to be what the damned fate said they would be.
Obviously Baek Saheon wouldn't agree, but he would accept possibly just for the items, it wasn't because he wanted to be with Kim Soleum.
“Oh, it's because I don't have a soulmate”.
The information came as a bucket of cold water.
“What?”
He thought it was a joke, it wasn't possible, he was Kim Soleum's soulmate, he knew it, he... he really had no certainty about it, as the only evidence he had considered was such a brief glance that it was probably just a figment of his imagination.
Baek Saheon stood completely still in that place; he didn't even process the words Kim Soleum said to him as he was leaving or when the waiter came over to ask him to leave because they needed to close.
The only thing that kept repeating in his head was that Kim Soleum had no soulmate.
He wasn't tied to Baek Saheon.
As soon as he arrived at the department, he went to his room and started crying.