Work Text:
Chapter 1
Brodie’s basement was thrumming. Usually, the basement is the chill party spot, but today, it was pulsing, almost like it had a mind of its own. Abby was not prepared.
Abby had barely seen Max or, for that matter, Norah and Ginny (her much better friends, her closest friends, her ride or dies. So why was she still thinking about how she hadn’t seen Max ) over the past few days. She had been so preoccupied with this new thing building up with Tris that her mind barely had thought of anything else but Tris.
Tris Tris Tris
max
Huh?
Tris Tris max max Max
Huh, wait, no?
Max Max Max Tris Max
No, no, this is weird, no. I like TRIS.
(almost forcefully)
TRIS TRIS max no TRIS TRIS TRIS
Yeah, all that she could think about was Tris.
As she entered Brodie’s, she could hear the pulsing beats from downstairs. It was almost like the basement had picked up on her heart rate, which was pacing like it was on steroids (It wasn’t, unless cannabis is something the dudes were calling steroids these days).
As she reached the staircase, she did a mental check in with herself because, for the first time in a long time, she was not on any substances. Tris had been a good influence. Yeah, Tris kept her safe and kept her good. Far away from thoughts of all things bad: copious amounts of weed and alcohol, and Press. But what about her keeping her away from wrenching her guts out after every snack she had, what about her taping her thighs (she had not done it. Of course, she hadn’t) and the inability to stop thinking about Max, her best friend, or her ex best friend (they really were not just that close anymore. At least that is what she kept telling herself ever since she told Max that her feelings were a lot sometimes). Max had different priorities, like a relentless need to be this demanding and exhausting person who wanted to have everyone’s feelings handed to her on a platter. Yeah, she couldn’t bear to be around her.
She quickly pushed all of these irrelevant thoughts to the back of her mind and headed downstairs. She was excited to hang out with Tris tonight. Brodie, being Brodie, had told her to invite Tris, which wasn’t even necessary because anyone and everyone was automatically invited (maybe she will run into Max here. STOP IT. STOP IT.) or at least the cool kids they knew.
As she got downstairs, she scanned the room for a sign of Tris. She saw the faces of almost everyone she knew at school enjoying this night of controlled debauchery while bumping their bodies to a Brat Track or maybe all of the tracks mixed. Tris, it seemed like, wanted to make Abby wait. Edge her up a little. The smell of alcohol and smoke that lingered in the basement, too overbearing at first, suddenly became enticing.
“Abbyyyyy”, slurred Norah, midway through her make-out session with Jordan when she spotted her. She nodded and mouthed a quick hello because she wasn’t drunk enough to scream her greetings. She quickly walked over and bent down to give Norah a half way hug and high fived Jordan whose face looked completely sucked out. Yeah, figures.
“Here, take this, a little vodka with some more vodka and a chaser.” Samantha appeared out of nowhere and thrusted a solo cup which looked extremely suspicious.
“Call it a dirty whatever, cause it is to celebrate you getting down and dirty, babes”, Ginny said while reaching out to hug her, which she struggled to return while holding the filled-to-the-brim glass.
“Oh god, I missed you”
“Me too, me too”, Abby responded genuinely but timidly. She was surprised at her genuineness because she clearly did not estimate correctly how much she would have missed Ginny and Norah and even maybe Samatha (yeah, Samantha) in the week when all her time was taken over by Tris at the Skate Park who had spent too much time trying to help Abby pick up how to Ollie (what the fuck is even an Ollie. Such an incredibly stupid name for a skate trick.)
She will not think about how, while she was on her fifth attempt at Ollying, Tris held her hands out ready to catch her at the waist, she saw Max (in that purple hoodie from 9th grade that she had bought from a yardsale Abby had forced her to go because c’mon maxxx it will be fun) giggling at something Silver and Marcus were talking about. She will also not think about how Max caught her staring. She will definitely not think about how she deliberately hijacked her 5th Ollying attempt so that Tris will pull her closer. For no one to see. For all the world to see. For Max to see.
The worst part is that she did not even know why she did it. Maybe she wanted to show her ex-best friend that her life was complete. She had her best friends and she had her girlfriend or whatever the fuck they were. She had it. There was not much space for Max.
“Heyyy, solid attempt Abs”, Tris said while pulling her in for a hug. Abby returned it. Shyly but genuinely. As she turned around to position herself again, she, to her relief, saw that Max and Silver were no longer there. Just Marcus skating with some dudes. However, a strange feeling brewed in the pit of her stomach, which to Abby felt like the farthest feeling from that of relief.
Ginny and Samatha were catching her up while Norah remained extremely occupied with her boy. Abby, however, felt a bit dazed, like she was out of her body. There was too much happening. The dim lights, the sheer intensity and loudness of the music, and the higher sweat-inducing temperature because of all the bodies made her feel strange. She was not used to feeling strange. So while Ginny and Samatha buzzed and blabbered, Abby downed her cup.
“Woah, Abs, maybe take it slower.”, Ginny said with a faux concerned tone.
“I am sure you guys are done with at least three.”
“Yeah, so you need to take it slow because someone here needs to roll as well.”, chimed in Samantha. “Also, Norah”, said Ginny turning her back to the corner that they three were standing in to face the couch, “Get the fuck up and drink another glass instead of drinking your boyfriend’s saliva all night.”
This got a laugh out of both Abby and Samantha, only for Norah to poke out her tongue at all of them teasingly and then stick it down directly and quite visibly in Brodie’s mouth.
They all cackled up and poured one more drink in each.
“Hey, what are we all giggling about?”
The three girls stopped their laughter mid-way to face Max, who stood there conservatively, twisting the palms of her hands nervously as if she was deliberately trying to be small. Abby saw her up close after so, so long. It took her almost a minute or maybe an hour to really look at Max and absorb her presence. Her eyes had sunken in, and they looked scared, constantly darting and shifting ( never staying in Abby’s direction for even a moment ) like she, a freshman, had asked the senior mean girls if she could sit at their table. Her fit, though, presented a completely different picture. The baby pink mesh top was cropped and displayed a good portion of her midriff, and the leather skirt was new, totally different from the usual ( Abby’s mouth zipped shut as quickly as it had parted)