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How My Wretched Heart Has Forsaken Me

Chapter 9

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Aiko was a genius whose mind never stopped moving.

Until now.

What?! Huh?! Wait! 

Aiko stared at Ego, who had a dead serious look on his face.

Of all the things she was well versed in, romance was not one of them! She’s never had to deal with it before. Most people barely tolerated her! 

Her mind whirred for her own answers. How did she feel about Ego? She liked his presence. He was fun to be around. She enjoyed his company. 

And…Aiko hadn’t minded when he kissed her hand…it had kept her up at night but…she didn’t…not enjoy it.

Holy shit! Did she like him?!

”Aiko…?” Ego asked, his thumb brushing over her hand. Aiko swallowed, steeling her resolve. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him down into a quick kiss. Once they pulled away, Ego looked stunned, touching his lips.

”C-can we do that again?” He asked finally, Aiko burst into laughter and Ego’s face heated up. He looked away in shame. 

Aiko had never took him for a shameless one.

”I’m sorry…it was just sudden.” Aiko apologized.

”I think that’s the most I’ve heard you laugh…,” Ego mused, his voice tinged with what Aiko now recognized as affection. 

“I suppose…it’s been awhile since I’ve laughed like this.” Aiko agreed, “not even with my friends….” She added on.

”What are you two even doing?!” Reina peeked her head out from Aiko’s hair. “You two- fraternizing like this?! Do you realize how risky this is for BOTH of you?! And you-“ she stuck a paw out towards Ego, “what’s your endgame?! To distract her?!”

”I have no intention of hurting Aiko.” Ego assured. “Why would I possibly want to hurt the person that’s brought so much joy to my life?” His gaze returned to Aiko, he reached out and took her hand again.

“Aiko…I’ve been meaning to ask this…but I’d like to make our meetings more frequent. Perhaps every other week instead…. Maybe even once a week?” He asked hopefully. 

Aiko put a hand to her chin.

”I don’t think the latter one is plausible…too risky.”

”I figured…,” Ego sighed in disappointment.

”But…perhaps every other week isn’t out of the cards.” Ego’s bat wings perked up. “But first…I’m curious. How did you get the letter to my home?” Aiko asked.

”Ah…well, with a lot of concentration we can hone in on a certain area or person and send items to them.” Ego explained.

”Really? I was sure you had messengers.” Aiko recalled Michael talking about a message they intercepted a few months ago.

”It takes a lot of energy. Even more than teleporting multiple times. It’s not worth it just to get a message out.” 

That made sense. Aiko nodded. It felt weird having this casual conversation after…what just happened. Ego didn’t seem to mind though, and he’d still hasn’t let go of her hand.

Aiko stared out at the moon, trying to check the time but Ego tugged her away.

”Can we just focus on this? I hope you’ve come to cherish the time we have as much as I do…and I rather we focus on that for the moment.” 

Aiko’s eyes widened, still unused to the absolute sincerity in his words, but she nodded.

”Alright.” Ego’s smile brightened and he squeezed her hand. Aiko led the two to a tree and she sat down beside it, Ego sitting down next to her.

”I was actually looking for a way to contact you right when you sent that letter.”

”Oh?,” Ego smiled. “Is that so?”

Gods above stop looking at me like that.

”I was just wondering if Nirra has caused any diseases in the past. My friend, she’s a farmer and told me a story of a long time ago where people were getting sick from a dark energy that came from a fruit.” Ego put a hand to his chin.

”Not that I can recall…. Perhaps Nirra began growing in your kingdom and it started affecting humans. I don’t see why it would be a big deal to us considering it only does us good.” 

“That’s what I thought at first!” Aiko exclaimed, “but the weird thing is that I’ve NEVER heard of this before- ever! And it’s in none of the immediate accessible files! The reason I think it’s connected to your species is because of how much we’re discouraged from looking into your history.

The Elders call it ‘unnecessary’ and ‘a waste of resources’ and yet we do the same for other kingdoms. Why is yours any different? It’s like they’re TRYING to hide something!” 

Ego stared at Aiko after her rant and she took a deep breath.

”Sorry.” 

“Don’t be, I think your suspicions could hold some merit…. Once I get back, I’ll look into it. Maybe my brother knows something. He’s the one that handled a lot of my education.” 

“Thank you, Ego.” Aiko gave a grateful smile.

“I’m curious though, why haven’t you mentioned this to your friends?” 

“Eh…. I don’t know if one would want to believe it, given she’s such a kind person who wants to see the best in everyone. The other one…well…,” it would be incredibly hard to tell Shizuko the truth…. “I’d prefer not to….”

”You only have two friends?” Ego asked, “you’re such an amazing person I find that hard to believe.”

Please stop! Aiko wasn’t used to the influx of compliments. She was still getting used to the idea that someone liked her at all.

”Well…I do have another. But I feel like every time I ask him a question he tells me half truths.” Aiko remembered how jumpy Michael got when she mentioned the patterns on the hilt of his dagger being unfamiliar. 

“Tell me, Ego. Are you familiar with captain Klondike?” 

“Quite. He stabbed me through the stomach.” Ego answered with a deadpanned expression, after a beat of awkward silence he added: “A clean strike. It was very impressive. If not a little cheap from catching me off guard.”

“…. Okay…,” Aiko said finally. She wondered if Ego knew about Gouma and Michael being allies in times of convenience, but given what Ego’s said about his relationship with his brother, it’s unlikely Gouma told him anything.

“Perhaps there’s a way for me to go into the archives and- Ah…sorry. You told me you wanted to spend time with me and here I am…” This was the first time Aiko felt truly embarrassed about going on her rambling. What was she supposed to do in this situation? Were they supposed to do romantic stuff? Aiko’s never had anyone like her like this, nor has she ever liked anyone before.

Maybe she should also ask Mayumi.

 

Aiko doesn't know when she fell asleep but she must have at some point through her nonstop talking as when she woke up, the moon was setting and she was resting her head on Ego’s shoulder. Ego was also asleep.

Aiko reached up and gently nudged him, stirring him awake.

”Aiko…?” He murmured.

”Both of us should definitely get going. It’s early.” Ego looked up at the sky and gave a hesitant nod. 

“I suppose. I’ll…see you in a week.” 

“Mhm.” Aiko agreed. Ego helped her stand up, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, his touch lingered for a moment before pulling away.

“Goodbye, Ego.”


Ego was on cloud nine as he hurried back to his camp. Last nights events kept replaying in his head. He loved Aiko. And he thinks…Aiko loves him back.

He brought his hand up to his lips. That kiss…. Ego failed to stifle the joyful, breathy laugh that escaped his lips. 

However, the moment he stepped into the camp he was greeted with an icy tone and a sharp glare.

”General Ego!” Gouma snapped, storming over. “Care to explain where you’ve been? Without any notice no less?!” 

Ego gazed around the camp, eyes of the soldiers falling on the two. The last thing he wanted was for the people working under him to see Ego get chewed out by his older brother.

”Let’s go inside the tent before we talk. You’re making a scene.”

Gouma glanced around a bit and scoffed, making a motion for Ego to follow him.

Ego followed him to a furthest edge of the camp. Gouma glared at the few soldiers that were there and told them to get out.

”So. Back to my first question. Where were you?” Gouma’s voice was icy. 

“Out on patrol.” Ego explained plainly. “Near the Moonglave village.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

”Without telling anyone? Not even a guard? And besides, why patrol there? You’ve been leaving unannounced too many times these past few months.” 

Ego flinched. 

“Yes, I noticed that.” Gouma continued. “Even in my drunken stupor I noticed you leave. I didn’t get to this position for nothing.”

”You don’t need to watch over me, I’m not a child.” Ego deflected.

”Stop acting like one. You’re just…running off. You don’t seem focused and you’re messing up in training. There is a WAR going on, Ego! I can’t have you running off on your own doing who knows what, considering last time you did you were STABBED! And I’m tired of risking myself by making excuse after excuse as to why your reports are coming in late and why you aren’t up to par!” 

Gouma stepped back onto a small ledge so that he and Ego were now the same height.

”I don’t know why but ever since you came back injured from Klondike you haven’t been yourself! Is it because of whoever you got to patch up your injury- yes, I know you didn’t do it yourself!”

”You're talking nonsense. I’m not having this conversation with you. You want to say I’m acting like a child? Look at you, Gouma! We are equals! Whether you like it or not- you don’t get to play big brother here!”

”You say that like I’m not the reason you’re in this position in the first place!” Gouma snapped.

”I am just as capable as you!” Ego snapped back. “I have succeeded in more missions than you have, just because I’m not always willing to bow my head to King Mercenare like a dog begging for scraps doesn’t mean I’m any less than you!”

Gouma froze at that and looked around warily.

”Don’t say stuff like that so openly.” Gouma hissed, lowering his voice. 

“Are you that scared of some privates?” Ego sneered, but lowered his voice nonetheless. “Are you gonna get me in trouble because I said something about the ‘almighty King-‘“

”Is that truly why you think I do all of this?” Gouma look offended. “Goodness, you are so naive. I suppose that’s my fault.” He muttered, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

”Listen, Ego.” Gouma began, breathing on his glasses and rubbing it with his cloak. “I am going to drop this for now for the sake of keeping our eyes on the prize. But if I catch you one more time I will get to the bottom of this. Agnosco?” (Agnosco = Mercenare term for “Capeesh”)

”Yeah.” Ego muttered, walking out of the tent.

Notes:

Here’s the calm
Enjoy it while I brew up a nice storm!