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‘Hey, Dad, Walker’s made pancakes and peaches, do you want so-?’ Yelena asked as she barged into her father’s room, but she cut herself off.
Because her father was very, very naked, and very much in bed with a very naked Bucky. They were only cuddling, but that was more naked male skin than Yelena had EVER needed to see, thank you very much. Bucky was fast asleep, as silent as death, but Alexei was wide awake and his head snapped up when he heard her come in.
Alexei’s eyes widened. ‘Lena! I’m-’
Yelena hurried back out of the door. ‘Got it! Come out with some clothes, please!’
God, it was nine in the morning and she was seriously craving some vodka right now. But even with that, she was vaguely certain that she was not going to ever get that scene out of her mind. Sure, Bucky was well-built and handsome, but Yelena was not into men, thank you, and also she never wanted to see her father naked. Because ew.
‘Jesus Christ,’ she muttered to herself. ‘The stuff I have to deal with without you, Tasha.’
She could almost picture her sister’s teasing smile.
Oh, come on, Lena, she could almost hear Natasha say, it could be worse.
Yelena shook her head, a faint smile on her face, and hoped she would never see her father and her team leader in their birthday suits (was that how they said that in English?) ever again.
‘Walker, seriously, you missed Gossip Night,and it was a good one,’ Ava complained, phasing through the wall. ‘I heard She-Hulk and Daredevil have a thing and it’s causing all sorts of tension on Wilson’s team. So glad we don’t have that, eh?’
She froze in her path. Because John wasn’t sitting up in his bed, reading, like he’d said he’d been doing when he had skipped out on their weekly Gossip Night. No, instead he was shirtless and pinned to the bed by Bob of all people as the two of them made out. Bloody hell. When Bob’s hand slipped down to cup John’s ass, she’d had enough and she phased through the floor into Bob’s abandoned bedroom. The two of them never even noticed her.
When she saw where she was, all she could think of was the scene she had just escaped, and she let out a soft yell and she phased through the nearest wall, marching into the abandoned kitchen and taking a seat by the closest window.
‘Seriously, John?’ She muttered, as though John had been able to predict when exactly she would barge in and tell him about the latest drama in the superpowered community. ‘God, I never wanted to see that.’
John was her best friend! She didn’t want to see his…bits, and neither did he want to see hers. Mutual bit-avoidance. And while she could admit that both Bob and John were attractive, in their own ways, she wasn’t attracted to men! She didn’t want to see this!
‘You too, huh?’ Came the familiar sound of Yelena’s voice, as the Russian assassin melted out of what appeared to be thin air.
The Russian passed Ava a glass of whiskey (so it seemed that Yelena was spicing up her alcohol diet, adding some variety; good for her) and the Brit accepted it with good grace.
Ava sipped at her glass. ‘Mm. Good stuff. Wait, what do you mean, me too?’
‘I saw my dad and Barnes earlier,’ Yelena said with the energy of a person pushed to the edge. ‘In bed. Very naked.’
Ava winced. ‘Ouch.’
‘Yeah. What about you? Run into my dad and Barnes?’
‘No, it was John and Bob,’ Ava muttered.
Yelena arched her eyebrows. ‘Huh.’
It was a good day. Everything was fine. The incident with Alexei and Bucky was a few weeks ago and Yelena was feeling safe again. Which was probably an omen from the universe telling her not to push her luck, but since when did Yelena Belova listen to the universe? Never, so she just did what she wanted. Until she found herself in a familiarly uncomfortable situation.
‘Bob? We’re going to be late for training!’ She called from outside of Bob’s room.
Silence.
‘Bob! If you don’t come out, I’m going to kick your door down!’
Melina used to say that when Yelena was little, so she figured that was the totally normal response. Yelena waited a few minutes, but Bob didn’t respond, so she shrugged and proceeded to make good of her threat. Only, what she’d find when she kicked down the door was…vaguely traumatizing. Because lo and behold, John and Bob were in the midst of an…passionate embrace.
A very naked passionate embrace.
Yelena threw her hands in front of her face. ‘Ugh!’
‘Yelena?’ Came John’s startled voice. ‘What the fuck?’
‘The fuck, you two! You need to put a doll on your doorknob so we know you’re…doing stuff!’
‘It’s usually a sock, but okay,’ said Bob. ‘What do you need, anyway?’
‘If you, you clingy octopus, can detach yourself from your boyfriend for more than five fucking seconds, we have some training to do. And I expect to see you dressed, clean, and with no bruises! Understood?’ Yelena barked.
‘Ma’am, yes, ma’am,’ John deadpanned.
‘Shut up, peach boy, I’m not talking to you.’
‘Peach boy?!’ John protested.
‘Honey, calm down,’ Bob said gently.
Ava was just wandering, as she usually does. Albeit at three o’clock in the morning, right after a long mission, through walls and ceilings and floors. She always got restless after missions. But then she accidentally phased through the wrong wall, and she found herself with Bucky and Alexei…who were making out on the couch.
‘OH MY GOD!’ Ava shrieked, made louder by a lack of sleep and shock. ‘WHAT THE FUCK!’
The two pulled apart.
‘Ava?’ Bucky said, blushing furiously. ‘What- what the hell?’
‘I could say the same to you two! Sneaking out to make out on the couch!’ Ava pointed a finger at the two of them. ‘That better be the only thing you’ve done on that thing. It's for public use!’
Alexei winked. Bucky elbowed him.
‘Oh, I’m so not telling Walker you fucked on his couch,’ Ava muttered.
It was John’s favorite couch. He used it all the time. Apparently it was one of the few things that made him feel comfortable in the tower. And these two had the audacity to have SEX on it! Bloody hell.
‘Ava, Ava, wait-’ Bucky scrambled to his feet. ‘Don’t- we cleaned up- listen to me, please!’
Ava ignored him and phased through the walls, heading straight for John’s room. She was his best friend, she had the responsibility to tell him about crap like this.
‘AVA FUCKING STARR, DON’T YOU DARE!’ Bucky hollered from somewhere behind her.
She ignored him, a grin forming on her face. Finally, revenge.
+1
After the bloodbath that had followed John learning what the other two super soldiers had been getting up to on his favorite couch (he may have thrown it at them), the team got better about the PDA. They used the doorknob system more often than naught, and traumatizing incidents involving naked flesh happened less and less. With the usual culprits, anyway, because Yelena and Ava were having a bit of a fun time fucking with everyone.
‘Yelena?’ Bob poked his head into Yelena’s room. He blanched when he saw Yelena and Ava were having a quiet make-out session on top of her bed. ‘Oh…guess this is a bad time.’
He left soon thereafter, but his face was priceless. Ava and Yelena, who had been paying more attention then it had looked like, giggled about it to themselves like a couple of school girls. Finally, payback for all the times they had walked in on Bob and John. Payback was theirs.