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They’d been excommunicated.
It was as simple as that.
Kevin didn’t particularly care as his faith in god had been wavering for quite some time, with the mission to Uganda serving as a catalyst.
But even so, with a bit of convincing song and dance, the elders had stayed behind to finish their mission and spread the word of the book of Arnold. Sure, the book was full of pop culture references and some slight mistruths (not lies - just imaginative stories), but what good book wasn’t?
There’d been a few rules that they’d abandoned or given up enforcing - like curfew and not being able to drink hot drinks. There’d also been a few crazy nights where they’d ‘stumbled’ upon alcohol and just happened to consume it. Along with that, anyone who wanted to ditch their garments, ditched them.
There’d also been some shuffling around of sleeping arrangements. Elder Davis had received a letter about his father being sick and decided to head home. It was one of the nicer letters the missionaries had received after the mission president had told their parents what had happened. But it also meant that Elder Church had lost his mission companion - and because the district was ‘shut down’ they weren’t getting any new members. Elder Thomas—or Elder Poptarts—took the liberty of that free bed (and the loosening of rule 72) to move in. He said something about Elder McKinley’s hell dreams and wanting to get away with eating more poptarts than he was rationed- but most of the elder’s caught that there was something else going on.
This of course meant that Elder McKinley was left with a spare bed.
Some nights, Nabulungi stayed over - usually when they’d talked about religion for too long and drank a bit too much - but on these nights Kevin found himself thrown out of his bed to make room for her.
She could’ve stayed with Connor in his room - but for some reason it didn’t work out like that. Kevin didn’t mind. He found the bed in Elder McKinley’s room just as comfortable as his- if not more.
Besides, Elder McKinley was nice.
He was also nice to look at.
That didn’t mean Kevin was gay.
Because he would strongly deny that. He just thought that Elder McKinley was pretty. And that he had the softest looking bordering-on-coppery hair that he really just wanted to run his fingers through. And that his eyes were a beautiful bright blue that Kevin wouldn’t mind studying for hours on end. And even though Elder McKinley’s lips were a perfect pink and Kevin could tell you where each small crease was, he’d still swear he’d never once fantasised about how it would feel to kiss Elder Mckinley. Just because he thought these things didn’t mean he was gay- it didn’t mean anything. It’s not like he would act on it.
Tonight was one of those nights where Nabulungi had ended up staying over. So Kevin was currently laying in what used to be Elder Poptarts’ bed.
Except tonight he felt restless.
There were a lot of thoughts going through his brain. He glanced over towards Elder McKinley. There was something ethereal about the way the moonlight filtered in and flooded McKinley’s form like a gentle caress of the sky itself.
Kevin’s eyes admired the shadows it cast and the way it shone like a spotlight on his pale freckly skin.
Kevin had learned that Elder McKinley didn’t sleep too much because of his hell dreams - and it was no surprise to find him awake at ridiculous hours.
“Elder McKinley, are you still awake?” He whispered quietly.
He received a small creak from the other’s bed as he turned to face him fully.
“Yeah.” Connor hummed.
“Can’t sleep?” Kevin asked even though the answer was obvious.
Connor nodded, “you?”, he asked.
“Mhm” Kevin responded, “Is it your hell dreams?”
McKinley nodded, he’d been dreading sleep. He’d had this impending sense of doom about his dream tonight since midday. He knew if he slept the chances are the hell dream would be worse - and he knew part of it was probably because of Kevin in the next bed over. Even though Arnold’s new book said being gay was okay, Connor still felt guilty for the way he thought about Kevin.
“Why are you awake?” Connor gently prompted.
“Just have a lot on my mind.” Kevin responded, without realising that Elder McKinley was the kind of person who would ask him further and insist that he’d feel better once he shared his thoughts. Because that is exactly what Elder McKinley did.
Kevin of course declined and was given a pout in return, which he laughed at.
“Well if you can’t sleep and I can’t sleep, do you want to go downstairs and raid Elder Poptarts’ secret stash” Connor suggested, which got Kevin laughing again.
“Do you know where that is?” Kevin asked, surprised.
“Of course I do.” Connor scoffed lightly.
Kevin gasped,
“Oh my god- it’s you who’s been stealing them - he’s so mad about that!”
“Only after the bad hell dreams.”
“Oh…” Kevin felt bad for Connor again, “if you know where they are then why do you let him keep them.”
“Because he thinks I don’t know where they are because I haven’t told him off, so he’ll accuse pretty much anyone but me of being the ‘pop-tart thief’”
Kevin kind of just stares blankly at him.
“What?” Connor asks shyly.
“You’re secretly an evil genius.”
Connor bursts out laughing.
“Do you want to head down? You can make your coffee also”
Connor offered, Kevin couldn’t exactly refuse - and he didn't want to anyway.
He watched as Connor slowly got out of bed, he still wore his temple garments- but that was okay because so did Kevin. Most of the elders had gone into the markets by now and bought more casual clothes and more comfortable pajamas.
Kevin had found that Elder McKinley could make literally anything look like it was straight out of the newest fashion magazines. He’d take this to his grave but he thought that somehow - by some miracle - McKinley even made the boxy, bland garments look attractive.
They headed downstairs very, very, very quietly. Connor knew where all the creaks in the floor were from the many times he’d found his way downstairs in the middle of the night. So he dodged them with a mesmerising elegance and Kevin followed where he stepped to the best of his ability.
Soon enough, they found themselves in the kitchen. Kevin boiled the kettle to make a coffee whilst Connor wormed his way into the back of a cabinet to retrieve some pop-tarts from behind a stack of plates they never used.
“Why would he hide them there?”
“They’ve moved three times since I first started stealing them - I think he’s just praying at this point.”
“Isn’t stealing them kind of mean.”
“Not when I literally have a section of our budget that I call Elder Thomas’ pop-tarts fund.”
“You do?”
McKinley nodded, he was dead serious. He then held up the pop-tarts to Kevin.
“Frosted Strawberry sensation work for you, Elder Price?”
Kevin nodded, “Yes they do, Elder McKinley.”
Connor moved over to the toaster.
“You know you can just call me Connor - Elder McKinley seems a bit formal especially now that we’re not really mormons anymore.”
“Oh okay- call me Kevin then.”
The kettle started to whistle for Kevin’s attention, and as Kevin went to attend to it he realised there was something so domestic about this moment. Him and Connor in the kitchen before the break of day - casually coexisting.
“Do you want a coffee?” The words were out his mouth before he had time to think.
“I’m alright- but leave me some water, I’ll make myself a tea”
“I can make you one-“
“No it’s okay, I'm particular about it.”
Kevin nodded-
The toaster pinged and Connor plated the pop-tarts.
Kevin finished making his coffee, and Connor took over to do his tea. Kevin watched as Connor put an ungodly amount of sugar into his tea before joining Kevin leaning against the counter.
“By particular about it you meant you didn’t want to tell me to put 7 teaspoons of sugar in”
Connor looked down at his feet,
“I like sweet things.”
Kevin chuckled.
The pair crunched on their poptarts together, talking quietly about their favourite foods - Connor told Kevin he liked strawberries and strawberry flavoured things a lot. Kevin nodded because for some reason that piece of information made so much sense he felt like he already knew it.
They were talking about Kevin’s siblings when Connor heard a creak from upstairs-
“Mh- someone else is awake-“
Kevin listened intently-
They could make out whispers
“Two people.”
“Chris and James.” Connor said.
“Who?”
“Poptarts and Church” Connor clarified.
“How’d you know?” Kevin asked, surprised.
“I’m down here enough late at night to know people by the sound of their footsteps”
Kevin nodded, wondering just how often Connor was down here.
“If it’s Poptarts and we’re eating his pop-tarts, won't he get mad?”
Connor turned to Kevin, giggled and whispered “Hide!”
They ducked under the counter, shuffling in a little so they were under the bench, clutching mugs in one hand and pop-tarts in the other.
A few moments later- Kevin could hear Chris and James’ voices clearly. Impressed Connor was bang on. Connor held his finger to his lips to tell Kevin to ‘shh’ as they eavesdropped.
“We didn’t wake anyone up did we?” Elder Thomas asked.
“I don’t think so,” Elder Church responded and then added, “Elder McKinley’s not down here so we’re good there too”. He’d had many a run in with Connor down here when he tried to get a glass of water and almost got the life scared out of him.
“Kevin’s sleeping in his room tonight- they’re probably getting it on” Chris joked. James laughed quietly
Kevin and Connor gave each other a look.
“They're kind of cute you know - The way Connor’s just absolutely enamoured with him.”
Connor went red - he looked away from Kevin in embarrassment.
“Don’t forget how Price follows him around like a puppy!” James quipped, drawing a laugh from Chris.
“With big pleading eyes too!”
It was Kevin’s turn to be utterly embarrassed. He did not follow Connor around like a puppy- okay maybe he did a little. But it was only sometimes when Connor was telling him what to do so they could actually maintain living here when the church was retracting their funding.
“Is there a part of you that kinda just wants to shove them together in a room and not let them leave ‘til they talk out their feelings?.” Church asked
“Constantly.” Poptarts responded, he walked around the kitchen bench, and Kevin and Connor held their breath as he—-like Connor had done—reached into the back of the cupboard and drew out some poptarts. He put them in the toaster and went back to the dining table when James had perched himself on.
“I mean- I think it’s hard for Connor with the whole ‘gay is bad’ mentality that’s been drilled into him- and I just don’t know enough about Price” Poptarts sighed.
“It’s okay. They’ll figure it out on their own- and if they don’t I’m sure you’ll be the first in line to tell them to figure it out” Church joked.
There was the small noise of a kiss shared between Elder Thomas and Elder Church- Chris and James.
Connor and Kevin both eyeballed each other. shocked. They hadn’t expected that. Suddenly the whole sleeping rearrangements made sense.
The toaster pinged and Chris came back to grab the pop-tarts. He set them on a plate and then he and Elder Church disappeared upstairs.
Kevin and Connor slowly crawled out from under the bench. Bringing their poptarts and mugs up with them.
“Well that was something…” Kevin murmured.
Connor just sipped his tea.
“What did he mean?”
“Who?”
“Elder Thomas- when he said you were enamoured with me”
Connor looked at his feet again.
“Elde- Connor?”
“I don’t know, Kevin.”
“Bullpoop! You know - otherwise you wouldn’t be acting like this”
Kevin wasn’t wrong, he did know.
“Leave it- it doesn’t matter.”
Connor ate the last of his pop-tart and left the kitchen with his tea to go sit in the living room, he placed his mug on the coffee table and slumped into the couch.
Kevin stared after him.
Then he followed.
Plopping himself down on his couch, he asked;
“Elder McKinley, is being gay bad?”
Kevin wasn’t quite sure where he was going with this.
“Well i- The Church said it was a sin and you’d go to hell.”
“Do you think you’ll go to hell?”
Connor was silent, Kevin took that as a ‘yes’.
“Connor - would you tell Elder Thomas he was going to hell, would you tell Elder Church he was going to hell- Would you tell me I was-“
“Alright you’ve made your point- no I wouldn’t”
Connor cut him off.
“So why do you think you will?”
Kevin asked.
“I-“
“I think the church got a few things wrong- The book of Arnold definitely doesn’t teach that being gay is bad anymore.”
Kevin found he wasn’t just speaking to McKinley but to himself also. Maybe he did have a little bit of a thing for the stunningly beautiful man he was speaking to. Maybe all the things he thought weren’t actually just ‘as a friend’.
“I know it’s okay” Connor murmured, “I just worry that God’ll smite me or send me to hell if i ever act on it-“
“Hey- Elder Church and Elder Poptarts kissed before, they’re both still here. It can’t hurt to try.”
“Who would I even try it with?” Connor said, lightening up.
“Me.” Price clamped a hand over his mouth - why had he said that? He hadn’t meant to. oh no.
Connor seemed surprised - then his face settled.
“Elder Price- Kevin- I uh, I need to tell you the truth.”
“Yeah?” Kevin nodded, his demeanour becoming serious.
“I kind of want to try…kissing…with you”
Was Kevin surprised? not really. Elder McKinley had never been super subtle about how he felt towards Kevin, and even though Kevin had usually played it off that he was unaffected or oblivious- it wasn’t entirely true.
“Yeah uh okay- we can do that-“ Kevin panicked a little - Maybe he did like men. Maybe he just liked one particular man. But admitting that was on a different level to actually acting upon it. Besides he’d never kissed anyone before! What if Connor thought he was a terrible kisser and never wanted to kiss him again???
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to, it’s just…I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
“Neither have I.”
Of course he hadn’t, Kevin was being stupid. Suddenly he felt a lot less nervous though.
It was a learning journey for both of them.
“So uh- how do we do this?” Kevin asked.
Connor shifted closer to Kevin.
He’d seen it happen enough in his hell dreams to know sort of what he was meant to do.
“I think like this-“
Connor took a hold of Kevin’s face, and Kevin revelled in the warmth emanating from Connor’s soft palm. Connor leaned in, his eyes fluttering closed as he pressed a featherlight kiss against Kevin’s lips.
Then the warmth of Connor’s lips against his were gone and Kevin looked at him displeasedly.
“W-was it bad?” Connor asked, unable to read Kevin.
“No- I just- I think I maybe wanted more than that- if you’re okay with that.” Kevin’s heart was beating heavily against his ribcage with such a force it felt like it would crack his fragile bones.
Connor laughed slightly.
“I think I’m more than okay with that.”
Kevin found himself pulling Connor in as their lips collided once more.
They both pulled away a few long moments later when they were reminded that human beings need oxygen in order to survive.
They kind of just stared at each other in silence for a long time after that.
Until Connor finally spoke,
“We should probably try and get some sleep”
Kevin’s brain was too fuzzy from the kiss to offer a worded response so he simply nodded. They began to head up - both their unfinished mugs of tea and coffee were neglected, along with Kevin’s unfinished pop-tart.
No doubt in the morning when Elder Poptarts came downstairs he would crack it seeing someone had gotten into his pop-tarts once again. But it was safe to say that thought was very far from the front of Kevin’s mind as Connor tugged him up the stairs.
Once again they creeped back through the hall- Connor avoiding the creaky floorboards with pinpoint precision.
When they reached their room at the end of the hall they hurried inside. Sharing yet another kiss. There were a few giggles before Connor told Kevin to go to sleep before dawn broke.
Kevin began to protest when an idea crossed his mind.
“Can we cuddle?”
“Pardon?” Connor wasn’t opposed, he just wasn’t expecting to be asked that.
“I mean if you want to that is- We don’t have to!” Kevin rubbed the back of his neck, flustered that he’d actually suggested it.
“Alright.”
Connor climbed into his bed, shuffling over to make room for Kevin in his tiny bed.
Kevin blinked - had Connor just agreed????
Connor looked up at him and patted the bed snapping Kevin out of his trance.
“Alright” Kevin repeated as he slotted himself in next to Connor, slowly wrapping an arm around him. He was expecting to be pushed away, but instead was delighted when Connor snuggled into him.
Connor whispered a gentle ‘goodnight’ and Kevin watched his eyes close slowly- he listened until Connor’s breathing started to slow and even out. Then Kevin took one last glance at Connor’s sleeping face and closed his eyes as well, listening to Connor’s soft breaths as he drifted off.
The morning could’ve been peaceful- it should've been peaceful.
“Where’s Elder McKinley!?” Elder Thomas screamed downstairs. He’d found that left out Pop-tart and he was not having any of it. He stormed upstairs.
“Elder McKinley!”
He threw the door to Connor’s room open- stopping at once when he saw Kevin and Connor, asleep together on Connor’s bed. Limbs tangled in each other.
Chris respectfully closed the door.
When he stepped away, he was met by his own boyfriend, James.
“They figured it out.” He smiled.