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Chapter Text

Ragatha wants to scream.

This isn't anything particularly new or noteworthy to her, but needs to be acknowledged all the same.

That didn't mean she would, though.

The only sign that anything is amiss is an imperceptible tremor of her smile as she closes the door with slightly more force than usual.

Her room is dimly lit but still taunts her with its cartoony proportions and plastic sheen.

Fashioned as a play dollhouse room, it feels like stepping into a little girl's playtime fantasy come to life each time she enters it.

Within it a lace canopy drapes itself delicately over a four-poster bed. A baby blue vanity sits against the wall and, above it, a painting depicting a pair of nesting robins.

A dignified wooden table stands on legs embellished with curling vines, bearing the weight of a fine bone china tea set as its centrepiece.

It's beautiful, but the proportions are all off. She can never fit her hands into the handles of any of the teacups, always bumps her head on the canopy beams when getting out of bed in the morning, and her head never fully fits into the frame of the vanity mirror.

Not made for her, but for some far-off, abstract idea of a girl. A girl whose hair could be compared to a waterfall instead of liquorice and had dainty hands that her fine bone china fit into every time.

Ragatha's so sick of running, chasing the afterimage of that girl, hates the self-loathing that churns in her gut as she thinks about everything she is and everything she's not.

She wants to tear into someone else for a change instead of tearing herself apart. To be able to say anything she wanted without guilt, without consequence.

Without some voice that sounded strangely like her mother at the back of her head telling her to stay poised, to stay perfect like a doll with no feelings.

She wishes she could, just for a day, be someone like-

Her brain halts as a smug grin flashes through it, accompanied by a lazy, careless comment that she couldn't dream of letting leave her lips.

She recalls that easy, effortless camaraderie he shared with Pomni in the span of days while her interactions were filled with awkward pauses and stilted conversation.

He'd managed to make her laugh with a few witty remarks while Ragatha struggled to drag a smile out of her on a good day.

An ugly jealousy festers in her chest and feeds on her insecurity. She pushes it down, starving it until it's small enough to hide somewhere beneath all her cloth and stuffing.

Even then, she can still feel it, writhing under her skin like some living thing that pounds on the bars of its cage.

She's scared of what it says about her.

But wishing to be Jax of all people, she decided no one could ever find out about that.

Chapter Text

She's running again. She's not sure what she's running after but, whatever it is, she must really want it because she keeps going even when there's no oxygen left in her lungs. Every time she gets close it slips tauntingly just out of reach.

She knows she'll chase this thing forever if she has to. A savage sort of desperation burns at her heels, keeping her from stopping, from slowing down and breathing. She stumbles and-

Ragatha lurches forward, off balance, as if some significant facet of the universe had suddenly shifted one or two degrees to the left.

The room is starkly different from what she fell asleep to. It's messy and so very obviously lived-in compared to hers, which could easily pass for an ikea furniture display.

Shifting her gaze over to a wardrobe with its door ajar, she spots several pairs of familiar pink overalls. 

So this is Jax's room.

Her immediate impression is that this is some elaborate prank. It wouldn't be the first time Jax had done something so inane just to get a reaction.

So she stays visibly calm (just in case there's a camera, or Jax himself, hidden somewhere) and takes stock of the situation. If this is one of his pranks, it's one of the less creative ones.

Not that she thought any of his pranks were particularly creative in the first place.

She half expects centipedes to crawl out from under the blankets and has to suppress a shudder. She's not paranoid, but throws them off just in case. Unfortunately, what she sees underneath is somehow worse. 

"WHAT THE [crickets-chirping.mp3]!?"

 

The following 10 minutes leads to Ragatha standing outside of her own room, having an internal debate on whether she should knock or break in. 

She has to make the decision soon because, to anyone else who comes outside right now, it looks like Jax is lurking creepily outside her door. 

That would bring questions she wasn't sure she could answer.

Ultimately, the decision's made for her when she finds a copy of her key in the pocket of her (technically Jax's) overalls. She tries not to think too hard about it in favour of more pressing issues.

She lets herself in but stops short when she sees her own body in her bed, which wouldn't be weird other than the fact that she was outside of it.

What ensues is an exclusive experience of watching herself sleep. Despite not physically needing rest, there's a peaceful expression on her face that she's not sure she's ever made while awake.

Ragatha hesitates, hands hovering over the body to do...something. What that something was had yet to be determined. Should she gently tap it? Throw it into the wall?
 
Confronted with so many options, she realises she'll only waste more time deliberating so bites the bullet and shakes the body with slightly more force than strictly necessary.

She's not sure when she started referring to it as 'the body' but it seems appropriate. For all she knows, her body could be comatose and Jax's soul had already passed through the gates of hell. 

'...Or maybe not,' she thinks, feeling a mixture of unsettled but also morbidly fascinated as she watches her own eye open and widen as it takes in her appearance.

Then, her own face morphs into a self-assured grin that looks completely out of place on her soft features. 

"Ooh, I see what this is," the words leave her mouth in a familiar yet unnatural cadence, "you're an evil, less attractive clone of me who wants to kill me and take my place."

"Jax?" Ragatha phrases it as a question but deep down she already knows the terrible answer.

"No, I'm just some other purple- wait. I'm... not purple." He stares at his cloth hands and then the rest of his body, eyes (eye, really) lingering on the two protrusions on his chest that weren't there last night.

"Stop looking there!" She feels a flush of heat painting her cheeks and hopes he either can't see it or is too preoccupied to notice.

"Not much to see anyway, doll," Jax drawls with a self-satisfied smirk. 

Ragatha once again feels that familiar well of indignation rising in response and grabs hold of it before it can escape in the form of censored expletives. She doesn't need to give him more ammunition to use against her if he sees her getting riled up.

"Ha ha, very funny," she says dryly, shooting him an unamused look. "How did you know it was me?"

"Well, easy. If I'm in your body, you must be in mine. Just like that one movie."

Ragatha, illiterate when it came to pop culture references, thinks hard with nothing coming to mind.

"You know, a mom and her daughter swap bodies and they do that whole seeing-things-from-each-other's-perspectives shtick," he clarifies, as if that explains everything.

"I'm not your mom though," she blurts out before she can stop herself.

"Obviously," he rolls his singular eye, "all I'm saying is that it's pretty similar to whatever the [whale-song.mp3] is happening right now."

Ragatha sighs. "I guess," she says reluctantly. "Look, we need to tell everyone about...this," she does a hand-wavy motion to both their bodies as if that could encapsulate the absurdity of their current situation.

"Why?" Jax reclines lazily on the bed as if he has all the time in the world.

"Why?" she echoes incredulously, "so that we can, you know, find a way to get back into our own bodies?"

"What's the rush? I'm kinda enjoying this out-of-body experience. Imagine how many pranks I could pull like this. No one could imagine," he pitches his tone up several octaves, "sweet ol' Raggy doing anything that might hurt someone's feelings."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?" he challenges, so cocksure and confident that she knows he absolutely would.
 
"Well, sorry to ruin your plans," she huffs with a tone that makes it evident she's not sorry at all, "but I'm telling them whether or not you want to."

"Go right on ahead," he says, like he knows something she doesn't and it makes her want to tear her hair out. Luckily, she didn't have any hair in the present moment - perhaps the only good thing that came out of all of this.

"Okay, I will." Ragatha moves towards the door when Jax slides past her and opens it for her. "Ladies first."

In hindsight, she should've known it was a setup as she takes all of two steps forward before a leg conveniently shoots out in front of her.

Used to sidestepping and avoiding this sort of petty prank, she'd let her guard down. With her legs longer and her equilibrium shifted, she couldn't stop herself from greeting the floor with her face.

"Oh wait, I forgot that's me today," he snickers before sauntering past her. "Don't forget to pick yourself up before someone sees," he calls back, "I've got a reputation to maintain."

Ragatha groans into the floor.

Chapter Text

Everyone else is already there when Ragatha arrives. In her peripheral vision, which is now a lot wider thanks to the extra eye she gained this morning, she can see Jax engaged in conversation with Pomni.

Strangely, he's managed to incorporate a couple of her mannerisms into his demeanor. The way she gestures with her hands when she talks, fiddles with her skirt, tugs on the coils of her hair. Things she did unconsciously that she didn't think anyone else noticed.

"Morning, Jax," Pomni greets. Ragatha's first reaction is confusion, only to realise that Pomni is talking to her.

"It's me, Ragatha." She only realises how unconvincing she sounds after she's said it.

"Are you making a joke?" Pomni asks uncertainly.

"Yeah, good one Jax, not even Gangle would fall for that one," Zooble cuts in dryly.

"I'm not that gullible, am I?" The black holes of Gangle's mask droop downwards slightly.

"No, of course not," Ragatha instinctively rushes to reassure her, when she remembers who she looks like.

Three pairs of heads swivel to look at her in varying states of disbelief. Jax inspects his nails boredly.

"Okay, what're you trying to pull, Jax?" Zooble crosses their arms with suspicion.

"Nothing, I'm not up to anything." Upon hearing the words coming out of her mouth, in Jax's voice, even Ragatha thinks she sounds sarcastic, despite being completely serious.

"Maybe Jax is sick," Jax says, with a shit eating grin tugging on the corner of his mouth.

"I'm not sick, I'm Ragatha," she insists, trying and failing to muster an appropriately serious tone.

"Good morning, Ragatha," Kinger says to her, as he emerges from a pile of pillows.

Ragatha startles at his sudden appearance (has that pile of pillows always been there?) and backs up, right into Gangle, her mask falling off in the collision. It shatters on the ground with a dramatic 'crash!' sound effect.

"I'm so sor-"

"Knew he was up to something." Zooble picks up the pieces and pulls Gangle away by her ribbon arm. "I'm going to go eat breakfast."

Ragatha tries making one last effort to explain. "Wait-"

"Ah, Pomni! I need your help finding my glasses," Kinger announces, somehow managing to have the worst timing ever.

"But Kinger, you don't have glasses...?"
Pomni throws her one last look over her shoulder before being dragged away.

"That went well." Jax approaches behind her. "You gonna keep trying or are you done?

She finds herself having to tilt her head downwards to glare at him. It's so disorientating she sits down on one of the many bean bags that randomly spawn into the circus.

"Maybe they would've believed me if you'd helped."

He shrugs indifferently and follows her, collapsing on one of the other bean bags nearby, blue dress floating down over his legs. "Maybe they would've, maybe they wouldn't have."

Ragatha resists the ever-present urge to commit extreme acts of violence that Jax brings out in her. Instead she takes a deep breath and pastes a smile on her face.

"Don't do that with my face."

"What? Wear a genuine smile?" Ragatha smiles wider just to spite him.

Jax leans leisurely back on his elbows. "You and me both know that smile is fake as [dolphin-sounds.mp3], dollface".

Ragatha's smile falters as the word fake rings faintly in her ears. Sure she'd worn it once or twice or maybe a few dozen times when she hadn't been feeling her best.

But happiness was such a fickle thing and smiles stayed as long as you had the will to keep them there. To her, a smile meant stability, it meant control.

But what did it mean if Jax could so easily see through it?

"It's not fake," she says in a small voice. She hates how weak it sounds, even more so in Jax's voice which always seems to give off an inflection of confidence. She wants to say it louder, in a way that no one would dare question. To say it with enough confidence to make it true.

But the words must get stuck somewhere between her throat and her mouth because nothing comes out.

The unease must've shown on her face because he pauses, staring at her discerningly, as if seeing straight through her stuffing and into her soul. She flinches, wondering if he can see all the ugliness she buries there. She thinks he must not, since instead of disgust, there's only an expression of incredulity.

"Geez Raggie, this whole time I've been thinking how annoying it is to see someone pretend to be all smiles 24/7, but you even managed to convince yourself?"

"Well not everyone can abuse Gangle whenever they feel bad," she snaps, "ever think about that?"

"Calm your tits," he pauses, "well, I guess that doesn't really apply in this case," he smirks.

"You are unbelievable! I can't even-"

"Now, that's more like it. Suits you better than the whole people-pleasing act you put on."

Her anger deflates like a balloon. She isn't sure how to feel at the insinuation that her bottled-up temper was anything other than a bomb about to go off. He's so blasé about her rage that she almost feels normal for expressing it.

"It's not acting, it's called being a decent person," she retorts, but there's less heat behind it, "not that you'd have any idea-"

"Speaking of ideas," he interrupts, "I've got a good one. Wanna hear it?"

She really doesn't and she tells him as much when she levels him with an unimpressed look. "I'd rather eat a centipede."

"Careful what you wish for 'cause I've got a few hidden in-"

"Okay fine," she intejects before she's forced to listen to all the hiding places of her worst nightmare, "tell everyone your brilliant idea."

"Well, if you insist." Ragatha rolls her eyes. "What if, I pretend to be you and you pretend to be me."

"And why would I do that?"

"It'd be pretty funny."

Ragatha almost envies how simple and easily entertained he is sometimes. She stares at him like he's an idiot.

"How about this, in exchange I'll swear not to do anything bad in your body." He pauses. "Well, anything too bad."

"Jax!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just messing with you. This rabbit- doll'," he corrects, "swears to be boring and not commit any crimes against humanity etcetera, etcetera."

Ragatha considers his proposition. At this point, only Kinger, someone who was one sandwich short of a picnic at the best of times seemed to believe she wasn't Jax. Even Pomni had reacted with a certain degree of scepticism. At least this way she could ensure Jax didn't do any irreversible damage.

"No bullying Gangle," she states, leaving no room for argument.

"You really know how to take the fun out of things, but fine, I'll bite. Looks like you already did a number on her today anyway."

Guilt sinks like a stone in her stomach and she swears she can feel it rolling around when she breathes. A heavy weight that she can't bear to carry.

"I'm going to go apologise to her."

"Don't. If you're gonna pass as me, no more of this nice [horses-neighing.mp3]. Let's be realistic, if it hadn't been you, someone else would've ended up breaking it."

He's right. Ragatha knows he's right but she'd rather take another trip to the Spudsy's deep fryer than admit it.

"How am I supposed to act then?" She doesn't know how to be anything other than nice, anyone other than herself. The years she'd spent trying to be liked, trying to be accepted, she'd put herself in a box. Things such as anger, sadness, fear...she could never express them in a way that was easy - in a way that was allowed.

And somehow, there was always this terrible, terrible voice, telling her she wasn't. This wasn't a problem she imagined Jax would understand though, unfettered as he was by anyone else's opinions. 

"Loosen up, have some fun. Here's some advice: ask yourself, what would Jax do?"

"You mean act like an [cows-mooing.mp3]."

"Exactly! Now you're starting to get it." Ragatha isn't sure whether he just winked or blinked (they look very similar when you only have one eye).

She blinks and beanbags glitch into the dining room (Cain really needs to patch that bug) where Gangle is showing Zooble how to draw on the pancakes with syrup and Pomni is still trying to convince Kinger he doesn't have glasses.

They call it the dining room but it's really a space Cain randomly picks every morning to spawn a table covered with food. Today, it's lined with towers of pancakes, laden with maple syrup and crowned with golden pats of butter.

Ragatha stands and awkwardly shuffles closer to the table, relieved everyone is too preoccupied with the pixelated food to pay too much attention to 'Jax's' uncharacteristic shyness.

'What would Jax do?' Jax mouths at her when she catches his eye and suddenly she knows.

She picks up a pancake and squeezes it experimentally. It smells artificial and feels like soft silicone, always more visually appealing at first glance. She hesitates for half a second, before turning around and throwing it straight into Jax's face.

It makes a satisfying thwack and slides down comically slowly, leaving a sticky trail of syrup. Jax's disbelieving expression is so priceless she can almost understand why he subjects her to this sort of thing every day.

Ragatha can't help but laugh in a way that leaves her breathless, in a way that's so far removed from the polite giggles she muffles behind her hands.

As her laughter trails off, she glances around like a deer in headlights, waiting for someone to berate her, to tell her that she can't do this.

Except no one bats an eye. There's a brief lull in the conversation as a collective sigh is shared between the table before it resumes. Pomni hands Jax a tissue and he takes it, shooting Ragatha a rare approving look.

And for once, the voice in her head is silent.

Chapter Text

"Helloo my matured, grass-fed dairy cows!" Cain appears in a whirlwind of colourful confetti and sparks.

"Mooooo," Bubble adds.

"No, not you, Bubble...now, who's ready for their next big adventure!?" 

No one speaks, perhaps hoping he'll realise they weren't, in fact, ready for their 'next big adventure' and leave them alone. Ragatha tries to throw a pancake at him but misses, accidentally clobbering Gangle, whose mask, she notices, has been fixed upon Cain's appearance.

"I love the enthusiasm!" he exclaims, seemingly oblivious to the subdued atmosphere. Ragatha thinks Cain probably could read the room, but simply doesn't value their sentiments enough to.

A vibrant vortex coalesces on the ceiling of the circus tent, pulling them all in against their will.

"I was still eating that!" Jax tries to grab his pancake but it's swept upwards quicker than he can reach it.

Another pancake, featuring a rather detailed syrup drawing of two anime girls kissing, flies by Ragatha's face as she's briefly suspended in the air, followed by a  few blurry shapes Ragatha thinks belong to Zooble's body.

They land in an ice cream parlor, haphazardly strewn across the ground in various positions. Just as they get their bearings, cute sailor outfits materialise on their bodies, complete with bows on the hats. 

Gangle squeaks in excitement at the animesque style and Jax coughs "weeb" under his breath when he thinks no one can hear him.

"Welcome to Scoops Ahoy! Where you'll take your customers' taste buds on a voyage of flavour!"

"I hate this already," Ragatha contributes in a typical Jax fashion. It's kind of therapeutic to not have to be a bundle of positivity and joy all the time.

"Now, don't be a party scooper Jax! I'm sure you'll all be ecstatic to know that I'm about to promote one of you lucky ducks to the captain of this fine establishment!" Cain conjures a captain's hat (also adorned with a bow). "Any volunteers?"

His attention shifts to Gangle who flinches, probably remembering the last time she was put into a position of authority at a food establishment. 

"I nominate Jax, for his charm and good looks," Jax pipes up.

There's a silence as no one seems to believe what they're hearing, Ragatha herself included. She can hardly believe his audacity to flatter himself while looking like her.

"Thank you, Ragatha," she slings a lanky arm around his shoulder, "you're too kind." She says the word 'kind' like a warning and squeezes his arm in a way that she hopes gets the message across.

Just incase it doesn't, she leans down and hisses into his ear. "Hold up your end of the deal."

"Jax bet that I wouldn't be able to say something nice about him," he lies smoothly, injecting an appropriate amount of exasperation into his tone.

Ragatha's almost impressed by how easily he's able to run damage control. It's plausible too. She could see herself rising to the challenge, she who had a nice thing to say to everyone, even an asshole like Jax.

She couldn't quite think of anything off the top of her head but she's sure she could, given some time. 

"They've got Ragatha, they've got Ragatha" Kinger mutters over and over again, rocking back and forth.

"Um, Kinger, who's got Ragatha?" Pomni asks nervously.

He sits up, none of the hysteria from mere moments ago present. "What? Someone's got Ragatha? We need to get her back!"

"Nonsense, Ragatha's right here!" Cain shines a spotlight on Jax who looks mildly uncomfortable.

"If that's really Ragatha and not a skinwalker," Zooble mutters, ever the skeptic.

"Yep, I'm right here and so excited for this adventure," Jax laughs, smile a bit too wide.

"I love the attitude Ragatha! Now, back to the task of choosing our captain!"

"I think it should be Kinger. He's the only one who got an A+ on the employee evaluation last time," Zooble says, "somehow, since he wasn't even there." 

The attention shifts to Kinger, who had managed to scoop out one of his eyeballs and put it on a cone.

"Would anyone like an ice cream?" he asks, his eyeball rotating and clipping slightly through the cone. Bubble has already popped into existence and started licking it, somehow making it even less appealing, if that was possible. 

"I don't think-" Pomni begins.

"Brilliant idea scoop troop! I'm sure Kinger here will run a tight ship in no time!" Cain places the hat on Kinger's head as one would crown a king, minus the ceremony.

Something seems to shift in Kinger, his back straightens and his aura commands respect. His eyeball clips from the cone back into place on his face like it had never left.

"Ahoy maties!"

"Hi Kinger," Jax says.

"Where is our vessel? We must set sail for treasure!"

Ragatha and surely several others bear witness to that terrible glint in Cain's eyes that signals the arrival of an idea. 

"Now there's a fresh new adventure Bubble!" 

"And I have just the ship for it, boss," Bubble practically vibrates in excitement. Or maybe as a side effect of substance abuse, no one could really know.

Their ice cream parlor warps and morphs into the deck of a ship. They're surrounded by an endless rolling blue on all sides with no escape.

At the helm, there's a disturbing figurehead of Kinger, shirtless with a fish tail. The disturbing part isn't even the tail but the pronounced six pack that glistens under the pixelated sun.

"Knew he was hiding some under that robe." Jax whistles under his breath and Ragatha, knowing he probably isn't talking about the tail, doesn't even know how to respond to that one. She can only be glad the others are out of earshot and not bearing witness to what looks like her thirsting for Kinger.

Ragatha thinks she catches Bubble licking the figurehead's abs but it's not a train of thought she wants to pursue, so she pretends she didn't for her own sanity.

"Welcome to the Royal Roger, crew!" Cain spreads his arms out, as if they had any choice in coming here. 

Ragatha, who'd been dreaming about slacking off for once (just to stay in character, she tells herself) and sneaking extortionate portions of ice cream (she doesn't really have a defense for that one) doesn't even have to pretend to groan.

"Can we go back to making ice cream?" She tries futilely. 

"While I'm thrilled you're so enthusiastic about making ice cream, Jax, you buttery buccaneers have a much more important quest today!" he pauses for anticipation, waiting for someone to ask him about said quest. The awkward silence drags on for so long that eventually Pomni takes pity on him.

"What kind of quest...?"

"Glad you asked, Pomni! Your mission is to retrieve the elusive golden ice cream scoop from rival pirates."

Gangle raises a ribbon.

"Um, question..." 

"Yes, Gangle?"

"We won't have to...fight them, right?"

"What, you think they're just gonna roll over and let us take the scoop?" Jax scoffs, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

It's so far removed from anything Ragatha would ever say, and it seems Jax realises this too as he blinks at Gangle's reaction like he'd just kicked a puppy. Even he can't talk himself out of this one.

She'd laugh if her reputation wasn't on the line.

Instead, she prays for a distraction, anything to shift the stunned stares, when she notices a bright orange buoy ring at her feet and remembers who she is. She doesn't need to wait around when she can make a distraction.

"Oh no! It seems like Ragatha's fallen overboard," she announces..

"What-" is all Jax manages to get out before getting bodied by the buoy ring. The impact throws him backwards off the ship and into the water with a 'splash!' sound effect.

"Ragatha!" Pomni rushes over to the side of the ship, frantically peering over the edge while Gangle unravels her body to form a rope.

"What the hell, Jax?" Zooble accuses.

Ragatha winces. She'd thrown the ring with what she'd thought was a reasonable amount of force but, in Jax's body, turned out to be excessive. She throws a cursory glance down over the edge of the ship to make sure he's afloat and not already making his way to the seabed.

Ragatha knows first-hand how easily her cloth body could absorb water and sink. She's not cruel enough to actually try to leave Jax at the bottom of the ocean for the rest of the adventure, no matter how much she wants to.

With some relief she identifies Jax, clinging to the buoy ring, his sailor hat floating somewhere nearby. She hesitates, an apology forming on the tip of her tongue. 

He seems to sense what she's about to do because he makes eye contact and gives her an imperceptible shake of his head. That snaps her out of it, the apology dissolving on her tongue like cotton candy. She's not Ragatha, who hands out apologies like lollipops. She's Jax and Jax doesn't apologise.

Except to Pomni, because they're just such great friends, she can't help but think. And she's not bitter about that, she's not.

So instead of showing remorse, she does what she thinks is an accurate impression of Jax whenever he goes too far with one of his pranks.

"What? You guys are too soft," she drawls with a wave of her hand, "I even gave her a pool floaty so she doesn't drown."

Zooble doesn't deign her with a reply, apparently too used to this song and dance, and focuses on reeling in a waterlogged Jax. 

"Well, it seems like everything's under control, so I'll leave you to it," Cain announces.

"You could help us," Zooble grumbles.

"You know it can't interfere in adventures, it ruins all the fun!"

"The adventure hasn't even started yet!"

"The adventure never ends, my dear Zooble!" Cain disappears, going wherever the fuck he goes when he's not with them. 

Ragatha wishes the adventure would end so she could be anywhere but here right now.

Chapter Text

When Zooble and Pomni pull Jax over the edge of the ship, he flops gracelessly onto the deck, unable to handle the weight of all the liquid that had soaked through the stitching.

"Ow," he says as he deflates, water seeping out of his body.

Gangle also looks worse for wear with her stretched out body and Ragatha moves without thinking, reaching to help her up when her ribbons suddenly shrink back to their normal length.

Gangle sighs in relief, only to jump when she sees Ragatha standing over her. She looks at her warily, her ribbons twitching, instinctively moving to shield her mask.

"I'm...going to go keep watch." Gangle walks backwards like she's expecting a blow and scales the mast of the ship to peer through the telescope, steadfastly avoiding her gaze.

Ragatha watches her go, an unidentifiable feeling in her chest.

"Okay crew, time to set sail!" Kinger announces, returning from...somewhere. Ragatha honestly hadn't even noticed he'd left.

Kinger pauses, taking in the scene. Jax, still lying face-first on the deck and Pomni using her body weight to push the water out of his body.

"Why is Jax wet?"

"That's Ragatha, Kinger," Zooble reminds him.

"Of course," he agrees. "Now, let's- wait a moment, have I ever sailed a ship before?" Kinger seems lost in thought as he tries to recall if he'd ever even been on a boat before. His body suddenly glitches and clips though the floor.

"Should someone check on him?" Pomni asks, concerned.

Ragatha knows Cain probably hasn't taken enough time to test all the relevant assets based on the spontaneity of the adventure and how detailed the ship was. A few bugs were inevitable. She still feels the need to reassure Pomni though and tries to do so without making it too obvious.

"Nah." She goes for a casual and unconcerned tone. "He'll be fine."

Pomni doesn't seem convinced but is distracted when Jax groans and finally manages to sit up.

"Are you...okay, Ragatha?" Pomni wrings her hands together.

"Yeah, you and Jax have both been acting weird." Zooble points out way too perceptively. For all that Zooble pretends they don't care, nothing ever seems to escape their attention.

Ragatha feels an unexpected warmth that Pomni and Zooble even care enough to notice.

Always confining herself to the role of the carer, the sympathiser, the nurturer - to be cared for in return was...unfamiliar, but not unwelcome.

"I mean, I was talking more physically, but that too."

Ragatha and Jax exchange a look.

"And that. That too. Those weird interactions you've been sharing all day like you're sharing some secret," Zooble probes.

Ragatha flinches, caught out. Faced with Zooble's unnerving accuracy, she's fully ready to spill her guts (even if no one believes her) when Pomni's pale face transforms into a putrid shade of green.

"I-I think I'm gonna," Pomni gasps before rushing to the side of the ship and unloading the contents of this morning's breakfast.

Ragatha hopes the fish like pancakes.

She realises then that there's a distinct lack of anything in the sea. None of the typical shoals with their iridescent scales. Not even any stray seaweed or driftwood floating about. Only Jax's sailor hat bobs peacefully among the waves.

Like a calm before the storm.

She has to wonder if Cain was simply too lazy to programme fish or if this was a precursor to...something else.

The sound of Pomni retching breaks her out of her thoughts and she has to resist rushing over. Looking like this, she'd probably send Pomni into catatonic shock. She gestures to Jax to do something but he conveniently pretends to wring water out of his hair whenever she tries to meet his eye.

It's maddening and Ragatha simply can't understand how anyone could be so callous as to do nothing when someone was hurting. It goes against her very nature.

Zooble interrupts her mounting aggravation with a sigh. "Whatever, I don't really care what you two have going on as long as it doesn't involve me."

They wander to another part of the ship, leaving Ragatha with a strange feeling of disappointment. She takes the opportunity to drag Jax behind some boxes.

"You call that acting?" She hisses.

"I dunno, I think it could've been worse. Ever watch a Dhar Mann video?"

She bristles at his nonchalant attitude. She doesn't know who the [ducks-quacking.mp3] Dhar Mann is but she's sure he would've done a better job than Jax.

"You can't just stand there while poor Pomni suffers!"

"Can't I?" he says with the air of someone who's never lifted a finger in his life to help anyone other than himself.

She's genuinely about to deck him in the face when she hears a pitiful keening noise. She can't stop herself - something in her mind screams at her to hold, to comfort and Ragatha's never had the strongest willpower.

She turns away from Jax with a defiant look and marches over to Pomni, gently holding her hair away from her sweaty face and rubbing soothing circles into her back.

"Thanks, Rag- Jax?" Pomni jerks away like she's witnessed the Kinger stripping naked and lap dancing instead of Jax being a halfway decent person.

With a shove, Jax pushes Ragatha out of the way and takes her place, hands fluttering unsurely over Pomni before settling on her shoulders in a way that she thinks is meant to be comforting but just comes off as a bit awkward.

"I can handle it, Jax," Jax asserts, even having the audacity to look at Ragatha as if she's the one in the wrong.

"Didn't look like you were handling it, Ragatha."

"Uh, guys?" Gangle calls down but they're too preoccupied in their back-and-forth to spare any attention.

"Maybe you should stick to what you're good at and I'll stick to what I'm good at," Jax says emphatically.

"But what am I good at? Oh wait," Ragatha says slowly as if she's realised something important, "I'm amazing at only caring about myself!" 

Jax's eye narrows and Ragatha realises she might've gone too far.

"What the [owls-hooting.mp3] is happening." Pomni's eyes dart between them and there's an edge in her voice that makes her seem like she's on the verge of a psychotic break.

Gangle calls down again, louder this time.

"Guys, there's a-"

A horn blares out across the water. It's too far to be the one on their ship, but somehow also disturbingly close. Ragatha's head swivels as she searches for the source.

An unnaturally thick fog had gathered during their argument. Probably one of those convenient weather manipulations Cain insists add 'dramatic effect'.

Ragatha's gaze fixes on a particularly thick area of fog ahead of them and the dark silhouette of a ship that emerges from it.

Chapter Text

Being Ragatha was harder than Jax thought it'd be.

It was easy enough to mimic her tics. After all, you don't get away with mischief by being a bad actor. Jax was well-versed in the art of making things up on the fly. It was everything else that was the problem.

He'd had to take on her happy-go-lucky attitude, soften his words to cushion every blow, constantly contort the muscles in his face into some semblance of a smile. It was suffocating.

He'd wondered how she did it - why she did it.

Pure altruism, or a hidden agenda?

He finds he still doesn't have an answer as he watches the ship approach, something catching the faint sunlight through the fog. On a brass podium sits the golden ice cream scoop, just begging to be stolen. They weren't even trying to hide it.

There's a wooden man at the helm wearing a hat identical to the one Kinger lost, except for the monogrammed 'D.M.' emblazoned on the front. He's flanked by rows of coconuts.

"Arrgh-" he disappears.

"Oh," Pomni says. "I think I'm starting to get used to it."

Just when Jax thinks that's the end of it, that everybody can go home and forget about this shitty adventure, Disappearing Man's little coconuts all sprout legs and arms like germinated shoots hopped up on growth hormones. It's honestly a bit weird, but hardly worth writing home about.

Apparently they're Disappearing Man's crewmates, so what? They look pretty easy to take out-

"They've got weapons!" Gangle wails from the lookout. A thinning of the fog reveals the coconuts are, in fact, armed to the teeth with bows and fat sheaths of arrows.

The coconuts (crewmates) begin to shoot at their ship with scary coordination despite losing their leader. Jax would applaud their thirst for violence if it wasn't being, y'know, directed at him.

But you know what, that's okay, Jax didn't like this ship that much anyway, not enough buff figureheads of him-

"[Smoke-alarm.mp3], they're trying to make a bridge!" Zooble curses.

"Oh no," Jax says flatly, "if only we could kill them with kindness." He doesn't bother injecting an ounce of emotion into his tone. He's too tired for this shit.

Ragatha pushes out a cannon from behind a stacked pile of old whiskey barrels. "Need cannonballs," she huffs, out of breath.

What am I good at? his own voice asks him.

"I'll go look," Jax volunteers a bit too eagerly, resolutely avoiding her gaze.

For some reason all the storage rooms below the ship are overflowing with merchandise of all of them. He keeps tripping on plushies, figurines, and little keychains that he can barely make out in the dark. Jax really doesn't want to know what goes on in Cain's artificially intelligent head.

To his relief, he finds a matchbox sitting atop of a plushie of Pomni as a chubby hamster and lights a match. It casts a warm glow across the room, melting away the shadows and illuminating a pair of floating, blue orbs.

"Oh, hello Jax."

Jax will swear it never happened but he lets out a mortifyingly girly scream. It's followed by immediate relief that his only witness was Kinger and not someone whose long-term memory was longer than five seconds.

"Jesus Christ," he gasps, "you almost gave me a heart attack." He clutches his chest, only to realise he doesn't have a heart. He forgets, sometimes, that none of this is actually real.

"Jesus? No, I'm Kinger." Kinger tilts his head in confusion and Jax has to fight the urge to say something snarky in response.

"Were you down here the whole time?" he asks instead.

"Oh, well I was going to return but I got distracted by this person's fascinating plushie collection," Kinger says. "Look, have one of me," he holds up a plushie of himself with a bulging belly.

Jax looks at it uncomprehendingly.

"Although, I'm not too keen on the way they made my stomach look."

He's right. With the way plushie Kinger's robe is draped over his stomach, it makes him look pregnant. It's a stark contrast to the shapely abs on the figurehead of the ship and Jax is tempted to ask which portrayal is more accurate.

"It doesn't look...that bad," he consoles with as much solemnity as he can muster, trying not to laugh.

"And look, they even have one of you in a lovely outfit." Kinger brings out a plushie of Jax from under his robe, wearing that stupid maid outfit. It immediately wipes the smile off his face.

"Give me that," Jax snaps, grabbing the plushie and using the lit match to set it on fire. He can only feel a deep satisfaction as he watches the fire travel all the way up to the tips of its periwinkle ears. He can only breathe again when the entire thing is a pile of ashes at his feet.

Wait.

Jax's head snaps back up when he realises. Kinger had called him by his name and shown him a plush of himself. Him, Jax, not Ragatha. He could've written it off if it was a one time thing, just kooky Kinger's usual absentmindedness, but twice was no coincidence.

"How did you know?" Jax sighs defeatedly. He figures it must've been when Gangle asked that stupid question about fighting the pirates.

In his defense, he'd been so preoccupied with dissecting Ragatha's ulterior motives that his mouth had opened on reflex and his usual sarcasm had tumbled out.

"Know what?"

"That I wasn't," he gestures vaguely to himself, "y'know."

"Well, Ragatha told me, of course."

Jax briefly recalls Ragatha's fruitless attempt in telling everyone about their 'situation'. He'd known it wouldn't work, it's why he'd let her try.

No one really trusted anything he said. And why would they? Everything that came out of his mouth was designed to get a reaction, designed to entertain him. And more often than not, it ended up hurting someone.

"And you actually believed her?" he says in disbelief.

Kinger doesn't answer, only looks at him a little sadly. Jax doesn't know what to make of it. He hates the prickling sensation of someone looking at him, really looking at him. It makes him feel exposed, vulnerable like the prey animal he is.

He tries to shove his hands in his pockets, only to realise Ragatha's sailor dress doesn't have pockets. He wants to kill whoever designed these cringy outfits.

"You're not a bad person, Jax. Just a person who does bad things," Kinger says wisely, like that's supposed to mean something to Jax.

"That's literally the same thing-" he begins to say when the room tilts and the thunk of arrows hitting their mark in the wood assaults his ears.

"Where the [car-engine-stalling.mp3] is Ragatha!?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Jax calls back unthinkingly. Shit, now he actually has to go back up there. He should've pretended he'd shrivelled up and died below deck.

He supposes it would've been pointless. Had he been himself, he's sure they would've all breathed a sigh of relief in his absence and looked no further. But someone would care enough to come looking for Ragatha.

"Kinger, I will literally suck your [rooster-crowing.mp3] if you can remember something, anything, useful right now. I can't go back up there empty-handed."

"I used to own a fishing boat," Kinger offers with a surprising amount of clarity. Jax decides it's better than nothing and herds him up the stairs.

"Just for the record, I meant absolutely none of that."