Chapter Text
Bitty’s seen Holster upset. He’s seen him after lost games, after devastating season finales, after bombed quizzes. Hell, Bitty’s even seen Holster cry, once or twice- usually of joy, granted, but it still counts.
This? This isn’t just crying, this isn’t just upset. This is Holster, head down on the kitchen table, shoulders shaking from sobbing. This is Adam Birkholtz, devastated, and Bitty’s dropping his Stop n’ Shop bags and going over to him before he’s even fully processed it.
“Are you--” he begins, and then shakes his head. Adam is quite obviously not okay. “What’s wrong?”
“Bitty?” Adam picks his head up, and his face tells Bitty he’s been at this for awhile now. “Shit, sorry; I’m crying all over your table.”
“I don’t mind,” Bitty says “But, I can offer a shoulder, too, if you want that instead?”
Adam looks like he’s about to say no, but something stops him. He closes his mouth instead, eyes dropping and chin wobbling as he nods and pushes down a new wave of tears. Bitty pulls up a chair and opens his arms, and Adam practically falls into them. He’s not crying now, but he’s obviously on the verge and trying to reign himself in. “Want to talk about it?” Bitty asks. Again, Adam looks like he wants to say no, but sighs instead.
“Bittle, my man.” he says, voice hoarse and shaky. “Let me give you a nugget of wisdom I learned the hard way: never let yourself fall for a straight boy.”
Those words hit Bitty hard for several reasons, the unimportant one being that he hadn’t known Adam wasn’t a straight boy, and the big one being oh, Lord, did he remember that feeling. “Oh, sweetheart,” he says, and Adam breaks again.
“I was gonna tell him, at graduation.” he babbles in between stolen breaths and sobs. He doesn’t even have to tell Bitty who “he” is; the implication is enough. “I’ve liked him since we were Frogs, but I only really just figured out that I lo--” He chokes on the word. “And, I know that he does, too, just not like that, but I was gonna tell him anyway, just so it’d be out there, y’know?”
“And then,” Adam has to take a deep breath here, pulling away from Bitty to scrub at his eyes. “And then, March came along, and she’s great, I love her, she’s so good for him and he’s happy and I want him to be happy, more than anything--”
“You deserve to be happy, too.” Bitty says, and Adam gives him a half smile.
“He deserves it more.” he says, and Bitty can’t cut in to protest before he keeps going. “He told me he loved her, just now. He just got into med school a few days ago, full ride, and she’s going to be living in the same area, and I don’t know where the fuck I’m going or what I’m doing after graduation; I’m not gonna ruin this for him.”
Bitty fell silent, grasping for any words that might help, but not being able to find any good enough. “Pie?” he offers instead, and Adam almost laughs.
“You get me, Bitty.” he says. Bitty smiles, squeezing his shoulders before moving to the fridge.
“It’ll hurt less, one day.” he says, when he returns with a warm slice of blueberry, breaking the companionable silence. “Maybe not soon, but, one day.”
“I hope you’re right.” Adam says quietly. “God, I really hope you’re right.”
Outside the Haus’ Kitchen, just out of sight from the threshold, Ransom feels like his life is on the precipice of falling apart. Should he say something? He wasn’t supposed to know; he can’t say anything.
Silently, he steps away, and out of the Haus. Everything’s the same, he tells himself. Nothing’s changed. You’re okay, he’s okay. It’ll all be okay.
He wasn’t sure he believed himself.