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Tails flinched awake, his twin tails instinctively wrapping around himself protectively. A whimper was caught in his throat as tears welled up in his eyes, bits of his nightmare coming back to him with painful clarity.
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to forget it, but he just couldn’t shove the memories away. He could feel his tears slipping down his muzzle, dampening his fur in uneven streaks.
He glanced to his older brothers’ beds, and saw that Knuckles was fast asleep, snoring quietly. Sonic’s bed was empty, which meant he’d most likely snuck out of the house to go ‘be Batman’ again.
Quiet as he could manage, Tails climbed out of his bed and padded across the attic floor, making his way to the stairs. He kept his eyes on Knuckles as he lifted the hatch, opening it slowly to keep from waking his older brother. Knuckles was a light sleeper, it didn’t take much to wake him up accidentally. Sometimes, Tails wondered if Knuckles had ever been attacked in his sleep, but he never asked, not wanting to bring up any bad memories.
Tails slipped through the attic’s entrance and walked down the stairs, cringing when the wood creaked loudly. He kept going, hoping the sounds wouldn’t be enough to wake Knuckles. Or Shadow, if he was asleep, as his door was in the same hallway leading to the attic.
At the bottom of the stairs, Tails passed through the hallway quickly, stopping at the very last door.
He opened the door just a bit, peeking through the slight crack. His ears folded back in disappointment when he saw that his parents were already asleep. He didn’t want to wake them up, knowing they both had work in the morning. He closed the door quietly, more tears stinging his eyes. He pressed a hand over his mouth as he moved away from the door, not wanting to accidentally wake Tom or Maddie with a sob.
Just as Tails was about to go back up into the attic, something drew his attention toward Shadow’s door. Underneath the crack in the door, he realized there was a dim light coming from Shadow’s room. Shadow was still awake.
Tails bit his lip, looking between Shadow’s door and the attic’s entrance. He didn’t want to go back up, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep again so soon after his nightmare, and it was always harder to get back to sleep on his own anyway. But he didn’t want to bother Shadow with something like this, either. What if Shadow just turned him away? Or called him childish for being frightened by something that was only in his head?
No, Shadow wouldn’t do that (at least, Tails assumed he wouldn’t). Despite their somewhat rocky start, Shadow had been kind to Tails. He’d never made fun of him for anything the mean kids in his village would have.
Tails took a deep breath to steady his nerves before approaching Shadow’s door. He knocked quietly, in case Shadow actually was asleep, and just forgot to turn his light off.
“Hello?” A deep voice called out after a moment.
“…It’s T-Tails. C-can I come in?” He winced at how frail his voice sounded.
There was a brief pause before Shadow responded. “Um, sure.”
The door creaked a bit as it opened, and Tails slipped into the room before shutting the door behind him.
Shadow was sitting up in his bed, using the light from his bedside lamp to read a book. A closer look at the cover told Tails that it was one of the poetry books Maddie liked to read, The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson.
He closed the book and set it on the nightstand, turning his full attention to Tails. “What’s wrong?” He asked with a frown, his eyes scanning over Tails’ tear-streaked muzzle.
Tails sniffled, wiping away his tears, only for new ones to replace them. “I h-had a nightmare, a-and mom and dad are already as-sleep.”
Shadow’s ears flattened slightly. “Oh.”
His expression was conflicted as he looked down at his bed, and Tails wondered if he should have just tried to go back to sleep instead of bothering Shadow. This was his embarrassing problem to deal with, and Shadow had already been busy.
Before Tails could change his mind and leave, Shadow cleared his throat.
“Um. Come here.” Shadow patted the bed next to him.
Tails blinked in surprise, but he didn’t hesitate to pad over to the empty side of the bed. He climbed up on the bed (with mild difficulty due to his short legs), then curled up under the blanket next to Shadow, his head resting against Shadow’s arm. It was the same way they sat on the couch when they read their respective books together.
“Did you… want to talk about it?” Shadow offered, sounding slightly awkward. He didn’t tend to go out of his way to start conversations, usually just listening silently as others spoke, so Shadow’s willingness to actually talk through what was bothering Tails would have made him smile at any other time.
But right now, talking about his nightmare was the last thing he wanted to do. Just thinking about it had him wrapping his twin tails around his body protectively.
Tails sniffled again, hiding his face in the blanket. “N-no.”
Shadow reached out to Tails, then hesitated, before resting his palm between the fox kit’s ears, stroking his fur gently. His movements were halted, like he wasn’t used to comforting others in such a way, but it still felt nice. Tails curled up closer to Shadow’s side, sighing quietly.
“Why did you come to me and not, say, Sonic?” Shadow asked, keeping his tone neutral. “You two are very close.”
Tails froze. Shadow didn’t know about Sonic’s habit of sneaking out of the house, and he worried that, if he told Shadow, the dark hedgehog might mention it to Tom and Maddie, whether intentionally or accidentally. He didn’t want to get Sonic into trouble, and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
“Sonic’s already asleep.” Tails said, hoping the lie sounded convincing. “Even an earthquake won’t wake him up.” That wasn’t even a little true. Even breathing a little too loud in Sonic’s direction would have him startling awake, the result of spending a decade of his life on the run.
“Oh. Knuckles, then?”
Tails shook his head. “Knuckles gets… punchy when you wake him up suddenly.” There was still a crack in their wall from the time Sonic tried to wake Knuckles up early for a doctor’s appointment (vet’s appointment, technically). “But, even if I could wake them up, I… um,” Tails chuckled sheepishly. “I think I still would have come to you.”
“To keep from disturbing their rest?”
Tails shook his head, biting his lip. “They always ask too many questions when they’re worried about me. I don’t wanna have to tell them about what my nightmare was about.”
“Ah, I understand.” Shadow paused. “How do you feel?”
Tails shrugged. “Tired. Kinda… scared, still.” He swallowed, looking up to Shadow’s eyes. “You don’t think I’m a baby, right?”
Shadow raised an eye ridge. “Why would I think that?”
“Some mean kids used to tell me that only babies got scared from nightmares, and that big kids don’t even have them.” He knew now that it wasn’t true, as he’d seen both Sonic and Knuckles struggle with nightmares in the past, but they didn’t get them nearly as frequently as Tails did.
Shadow’s eyes widened, something dark flashing across his gaze, but it disappeared just as quick. “That isn’t true, Tails. I-“ he hesitated, then sighed. “I have nightmares. Almost every night.”
His voice was quiet, almost like he was ashamed to admit it out loud.
Tails gasped softly. “Really?”
This was the same hedgehog that broke out of a government facility, powered a cannon strong enough to destroy a planet with his own energy, and pushed that cannon away from earth single-handedly before it could hurt anyone. Nightmares just seemed so insignificant in comparison. It was so easy to think of Shadow as this powerful, fearless being, it was hard to believe he still struggled with something so… mundane.
“Mhm.” Shadow hummed in confirmation. “It’s… very unpleasant.”
Tails shifted just a bit closer to Shadow, suddenly feeling more awake than he had been before. “What are your nightmares about?”
Shadow’s lips twitched up into an amused smile, something Tails rarely saw him do. “Oh, so you won’t tell me what your nightmare was about, but you wish to know mine?”
Tails opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again, his muzzle coloring with embarrassment as his ears flattened. “Sorry.”
Shadow chuckled lightly. “It’s okay. I’ll make you a deal; if I tell you about my nightmares, you have to tell me yours. Sound good?”
Tails hummed, pretending to consider the offer so he didn’t seem too eager, but his twin tails swished under the blanket, betraying his interest. Shadow hardly ever spoke about the things that bothered him, always claiming that they were ‘weaknesses’, and that it was better to ignore such problems. It was practically impossible to get Shadow to open up about anything, so Tails knew that, even if it meant telling Shadow about his nightmare, it would be worth it to finally see beyond Shadow’s carefully constructed walls.
“Deal.” Tails nodded.
Shadow grinned at Tails, and briefly, the dark hedgehog looked so much like Sonic, they could have been mistaken for twins. But then his smile fell, and he got this far away look in his eyes as his gaze fell to the bed in front of him.
“My, um…” Shadow sighed. “My nightmares are… brutal. If at any point you need me to stop, please tell me.”
“Okay.” Tails agreed, growing slightly concerned.
Shadow nodded once. “My most recent nightmare - most common nightmare, really - was about the… the night those GUN soldiers put me in stasis.”
He began fidgeting with one of his Limiter Rings nervously. “It started the same way it always does. Professor Gerald runs into Maria’s room, finds us hiding in a pillow fort as sirens go off through the whole base, and tells us to come with him because GUN is raiding the labs. They…” he took a deep, shuddering breath. “They knew how powerful I was, and they weren’t content with using my energy alone for their weapons anymore. They wanted to use me as their weapon. But they believed I was… too dangerous to be controlled like they wanted.”
Shadow’s voice cracked, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Tails put a hand on his arm, offering silent comfort.
“We tried to make it out of the base, but one of the soldiers shot at us. He missed, and hit a canister of my harvested energy. It… exploded.” He swallowed roughly. “I was knocked out in the explosion, and the last thing I heard was Maria’s scream. I don’t know how long I was unconscious for, but it couldn’t have been longer than a minute. When I woke up, Maria was-“ his voice wavered again.
Seeing Shadow’s struggle to talk about this terrible thing he went through made fresh tears pool in Tails’ eyes. Already, this all sounded horrifying, and Shadow wasn’t even done speaking. Tails tightened his grip on Shadow’s arm, and he placed his own hand over the fox kit’s.
“Maria was lying on the ground, completely still.” Shadow continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “At first, I-I didn’t even understand why she wouldn’t wake up. The professor was sitting at her side, and he was crying. I- I’d never seen him cry before. And when I realized she was g-gone, I just froze. I felt… numb.”
Tails felt a tear slip down his cheek, and when Shadow opened his eyes, they were glistening as well.
“The soldiers arrested the professor and captured me. I was locked away in suspended animation for fifty years, and… well, you know the rest. And that’s usually when I wake up, anyway.” He sighed, raising a hand to wipe his eyes. “When I was in stasis, every day during those fifty years, I relived the day I lost Maria over and over again. And now, almost every night, I’m still forced to relive it. It’s like I’ll never truly escape that day.”
Tails accidentally let out a sob, and Shadow flinched, his attention snapping back to the fox kit. His eyes widened in alarm when he realized he’d made Tails cry.
“Shit- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“ Shadow said quickly, but Tails shook his head, silencing him.
“It’s not your fault. I just-“ he sniffled, butting his head into Shadow’s arm. “I didn’t know you had to go through that. Commander Walters never told us about Maria.”
Shadow looked back down at the bedding, scowling at the mention of Walters. “GUN never cared about who they hurt in their efforts to take me. To them, Maria was nothing more than collateral damage, but to me, she was… everything.” He shook his head. “But I’d rather not think about all of that right now. Besides, I believe it’s your turn to talk about your nightmare?”
Tails’ stomach flipped as he remembered what he’d have to talk about. But Shadow had trusted him with this deeply personal, painful moment of his life, the least he could do was trust Shadow in turn.
He wiped at his wet muzzle with the back of his hand. “O-okay. But you have to promise me something.”
“Um, alright.” Shadow said, mild confusion in his tone.
“Promise me you won’t get upset.”
“That’s a bit hypocritical-“
“Shadow.” The fox whined.
Shadow snorted. “Okay, I promise.”
Tails took a deep breath before he spoke. “My nightmare was about… you.”
Shadow stiffened instantly, his ears pinning back in shock. “What?”
“It was the day you h- hurt dad.” Tails continued, shrinking back a bit. “We were all scared he was gonna die, and the Eggmen were gonna destroy earth, and it was all just- so much. Sometimes, I still have nightmares about it.”
Shadow looked away from Tails, but he caught the guilt in Shadow’s eyes before he did.
“I-I know it’s been months, and Sonic and Knuckles both seem like they’re over it by now, but it still… scares me sometimes. How close we got to losing dad. How close the Eggmen got to killing everyone.”
Shadow stayed silent, frowning at his gloves, his hands clenched against the blanket.
“I-I didn’t want to tell you before because I didn’t want you to think I was still upset with you. Y-you’re our friend, Shadow, and I know you wouldn’t hurt dad now. I… I don’t know why I still have those nightmares. I j-just want them to stop.”
He pulled his tails to his chest, curling up under the blanket as his eyes burned. Why couldn’t he stop crying already? They all survived, the Eggmen were gone and Shadow wasn’t anywhere near as bad as they thought he was. Everything was fine, so why couldn’t Tails just move past it?
For several moments, Shadow didn’t move. Tails wished he knew what the dark hedgehog was thinking. He hadn’t meant to upset Shadow. He wasn’t afraid of him anymore, and he certainly didn’t hate him, unlike what Shadow had believed when he first moved in.
Maybe it was a mistake to make that deal. All it had done was bring them both distress.
Just when Tails was considering leaving the room, not wanting to make things worse, Shadow turned on his side and wrapped his arms around Tails, pulling him to his chest.
Tails let out a surprised squeak, but he relaxed into Shadow’s arms almost immediately. He clung to Shadow, burying his face against the tuft of fur on his chest.
Shadow rested his chin against the top of Tails’ head, his body tense. He let out a sigh so quiet Tails almost hadn’t heard it. “I’m… so sorry, Tails.”
Tails sobbed against Shadow’s chest, his tears soaking the hedgehog’s fur. He wanted to tell Shadow that it was fine, that he didn’t have to apologize for these nightmares, but Tails couldn’t get the words out, so he just shook his head and hugged him tighter, hoping Shadow got the message.
For a few minutes, neither of them spoke. Shadow just held Tails close, letting the fox kit cry without judgment.
All of a sudden, Tails felt gentle vibrations against his cheek, where it was pressed to Shadow’s chest, and he could hear a soft clicking sound only moments later.
Tails’ ears twitched, and he looking up at Shadow’s face curiously. “A-are you p-purring?”
Shadow kept his eyes glued to the wall behind Tails, but he noticed the way Shadow’s purrs stuttered with his anxiety. “…Maybe.”
As upset as he was, the gesture made Tails smile, and he shoved his face against Shadow’s chest once more. He listened to Shadow’s purrs as he finally began to calm down, the soothing sound comforting him effortlessly.
Sonic had done the same for him in the past, knowing that his purrs never failed to put Tails at ease when he was having a rough time. He couldn’t help but notice the differences between the two hedgehog’s purrs. Shadow’s purr sounded like a series of clicks with an uneven rhythm, whereas Sonic’s purr had a more consistent pattern, and Sonic’s purr was slightly louder. Tails liked both sounds, he decided.
After a couple minutes, when his sobs had quieted and his breathing had slowed, Tails’ own purr joined Shadow’s. His purr was vastly different to the hedgehogs’ purrs, sounding less like soft clicks and more like a sudden, high-pitched trill that was loud enough to almost completely drown out the sound of Shadow’s purr.
Shadow jolted a bit at the sound, but when he realized what it was, he let out a quiet chuckle.
“Hey, Tails?” Shadow said. The fox kit let out a questioning hum. “Did you want to stay in here tonight?”
Tails pulled back with a shocked expression. “You- you’ll let me?”
“Yeah. If you want.”
The tension Tails had been holding with him since he’d startled awake began to fade. He slumped back against the bed, curling up next to Shadow with a happy little sigh. “Thank you.”
Shadow ran a hand over Tails’ head. “Of course, little fox.”
Tails’ ear flicked in annoyance. “I’m not that little!”
“You’re very little.”
“If I’m little, then so are you!”
Shadow shrugged. “Okay. I’m little.”
Tails spluttered. “You weren’t supposed to agree with me!”
The dark hedgehog just laughed.
Tails rubbed at his eyes, trying and failing to hold back a yawn.
“Want me to turn the light off?” Shadow offered.
“Not tired yet.” Tails lied.
“You need sleep, Tails.”
Tails’ ears drooped. “But I wanna keep talking to you.”
Despite seeing each other every day, they don’t actually talk much. It was rare that Shadow joined their conversations, always preferring to just listen. Tails wondered if it was because Shadow still didn’t believe that he was completely welcome there, but he never asked. He didn’t want to draw attention to it and make Shadow uncomfortable.
Shadow hummed thoughtfully. He glanced at something behind him, then turned back to Tails. “I could read to you, if you want.” He hesitated briefly before adding, “Maria read to me sometimes, if I was too injured for our usual games. It… always helped me relax.”
After failing to stifle another yawn, Tails nodded. “Okay.”
Shadow sat up and grabbed the poetry book off the nightstand.
Tails snuggled up to Shadow’s side, and the hedgehog wrapped an arm around him before he started reading.
With Tails’ growing exhaustion, it became harder and harder to pay attention to what the poems Shadow chose to read were about, though they mainly seemed to take on a dark tone, weaving vivid images of death and grief. And yet, Shadow’s deep, quiet voice almost made them sound peaceful.
Not even five minutes after Shadow had begun reading aloud, Tails’ eyes fell shut. He slept easily, knowing his newest big brother was there to protect him.